


Fallen Angel

by Firanna



Series: Nephie Verse [2]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Angels & Demons, Anal Sex, Angst, Blow Jobs, Demons, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/F, F/M, Gaslighting, Levi's POV, M/M, Minor Levi/Erwin Smith, More angst, Nephilim, Physical Abuse, RP Turned Fic, Rough Sex, Slow Build, Temporary Amnesia, Violence, Wing Kink, but it does have a happy ending?, ereri, then angst on top of that, this is not a happy fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-23
Updated: 2020-11-15
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:33:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 33
Words: 261,784
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24342106
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Firanna/pseuds/Firanna
Summary: When things go wrong for Levi, they go really wrong...Sometimes, there are only a few ways out and none of them are appealing. Unfortunately for a Nephilim, you don't get the choice of choosing.
Relationships: Levi/Eren Yeager
Series: Nephie Verse [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1757374
Comments: 22
Kudos: 40





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally an RP between myself and Myst. I converted this to a fic in Levi's POV
> 
> There hasn't been a beta reading, so I apologies for any mistakes that have been caused and missed!
> 
> Hope you enjoy part two :) You don't necessarily need to have read part one to understand this, but feel free to if you like!
> 
> Firanna x

He vaguely thought he heard Levi’s voice, feeling light touches against his body, but he felt too tired to move much in response, completely boneless. All Eren’s limbs were ridiculously heavy and uncooperative as everything went black again. By the time he had recovered, he could hear Levi moving around, something clattering in the bathroom. He managed a small, brief yawn and blinked sleepily, his lips forming a wide, lazy grin as he saw Levi come back into the room looking just as tired as he was after all their exertion. Although, admittedly, Eren had been the only one who passed out.

As Levi started to shift the covers, every muscle cried out in protest as he forced them to move in order to get beneath the covers and wrap himself against the other Nephilim. He let out a content sigh as their wings rested one over the other atop the coverlet, forming what right now felt like an impenetrable barrier against the rest of the world and all their other worries and responsibilities. The warm feeling of being safe came rushing back, almost enough to lull him to sleep on its own.

“Sleep, Eren.”  
“Don’t wanna sleep.” he mumbled, dimly aware he sounded like a small child complaining over his bedtime but honestly not giving any fucks.  
“You should after that.”  
“I think you sexed me into a coma.” And he was only half-joking there. Everywhere felt sore, and he certainly wouldn’t be walking anywhere for at least the next eight or nine hours. Still, he felt proud of himself for being able to last as long as he did before he caved, so really it was half his fault for holding out so long that when Levi finally pounced him it resulted in him losing consciousness.  
“I’ll take that as a compliment, kid.”  
“Hmm.. you should,” he replied, almost purring happily as he nuzzled his face further into Levi’s shoulder, yawning as he basked in feeling the warmth and the security of Levi’s small, gentle touches and their joined wings around him coax him back into the peaceful oblivion of sleep. “Thank you, sir..”

Levi really needed to ask about that one day, the thanks after such activity.

“You really need to stop that, and calling me sir after I’ve sexed you into a coma.” Eren heard none of it, the Nephilim falling asleep against him easily. “Stupid brat.” His voice was full of affection, even given the two words, and he reached over to the bedside table, reaching carefully to turn the lights off in the room, darkness covering them as he moved back and settled how they were, pulling Eren closer and feeling the other slide his leg over his own, foot curling round his calf. He felt comfortable, his fingers resuming trailing over the other's skin lightly, nails dragging teasingly over the intricate patterns the tips of his fingers were making every so often.

It didn’t take long, for sleep to overtake him and it was the best sleep he’d had in a while, Eren’s wing keeping him warm, and the weight against his side a constant reminder Eren was safe next to him, and when his eyes finally woke the next morning, his body didn’t want to move. He pulled Eren closer to him briefly, sighing somewhat contentedly. Levi then tried to coax Eren to move his wing while he slept, gentle touches to signal that it needed to move, which it did, shrinking to his back so Levi could move from under him carefully, a soft kiss to the Nephilim’s forehead gently as he slid out of the bed.

He grabbed both drinks by the top of the glasses and headed to the kitchen, emptying and refilling them, grabbing a fork for Eren and the bakery bag from yesterday, heading back silently, glasses and bag placed on the side along with the fork. He moved to get back into bed as Eren shifted, twitching slightly in the darkened room. 

“Don't go, don't leave me behind.” He frowned a little at the words.  
“Eren I’m not going anywhere, I just went to get us a drink…” When Eren didn’t respond other than pained whimpers, he began to grow worried, getting back in bed properly, coaxing Eren to go back to how he was. Clearly, Eren was having a nightmare. Now he thought about it he hadn’t had one for a while. His own wings had already gone back to being the tattoo across his shoulders and his arms, but Eren’s were still out and sprawled behind the teen on the bed. “Eren?”  
“Levi…” Was the only response he got, wanting nothing more than to soothe the nightmare away and let only nice dreams in.

Once he finally got Eren back against his side, both arms around him, humming gently to try and chase the nightmare away, humming soon morphing into words, quiet but distinctive. He didn’t do it often, but for Eren, he’d do it every night if he had to.  
  


_"_ _I know the feeling of finding yourself stuck out on the ledge_ _.”_

It wasn’t often he sang anymore, even though he was damn good at it if he did say so himself…

 _"_ _And there ain't no healing, from cuttin' yourself with the jagged edge.”_

It always worked on Eren though, as he felt the body under him start to relax, listening in unconsciousness. 

_"I_ _'m tellin' you that it's never that bad, and take it from someone who's been where you're at. You're laid out on the floor and you're not sure. You can take this anymore_ _”_

He felt Eren jerk awake, but he continued. He knew he wouldn’t be too calm after having a nightmare, he never used to be.

_“So just give it one more try, with a lullaby, and turn this up on the radio.”_

He felt wetness against his skin and a small, sad smile graced his lips as he continued for a few more lines, definitely not wanting to ask what he’d dreamt about now. He didn’t want to upset Eren any further, he didn’t want to be the person to cause that pain. His fingers began to make soft trails against the others shoulder again, as they had the night before as Eren was falling asleep. 

_“If you can hear me now, I'm reachin' out to let you know that you're not alone.”_

He went quiet for a moment, letting Eren settle completely before he spoke. “Good morning sunshine,” his voice was low, quiet and inviting as his fingers kept moving softly. “Hope you’re hungry, I’ve got cake.”

He felt Eren nod, so he moved to sit upright, angling his pillows against the headboard and reaching for the bag on the bedside table. He pulled out a rather large slice of black forest gateau with two cherries on top of it, stem and all. He knew how much Eren liked the cake and wanted him happy, as he clearly had been before he’d fallen asleep against him.

"Always good to have cake for breakfast," he replied happily, his face lit up as he caught sight of the slice of his all-time favourite. Not initially bothering with a fork, he reached out for one of the two black cherries and popped it into his mouth with an appreciative little whine, the cherry juice staining his lips slightly as he made short work of the fruit. After that, just for curiosity's sake, he sucked the stem into his mouth, twisting it around with his tongue to see if he could knot it but most likely looking like a complete dork in the attempt as his face screwed up in intense concentration.

“Concentrate harder, you might just get it.” Levi chuckled, clearly amused. As if on queue, Eren opened his mouth, hand coming up to and removing the now knotted stem. Levi eyed it slightly, the smirk still in place, before leaning down to the half sat up Nephilim at his side, catching his lips in a kiss, tasting the cherry juice that was lingering there, pulling away after a few seconds and licking his lips. “I could have just told you you were a good kisser.” His smirk returned as he spoke, jabbing the fork into Eren’s cake slice, quick to lean back and grabbing a bear claw out of the bag in a napkin, biting into one side of it, and when he brought it from his mouth, it showed it was apple flavoured. It had been a while since he’d actually had these for breakfast. He swallowed, slouching slightly against the pillows.

He knew they should probably be getting up soon, but he was just too damn comfy. Part of his mind was still on how Eren had woken this morning, he knew there was only so much cake that could tide him over till he thought about his nightmare again. Here’s hoping their day took his mind off it... speaking of which. “You need to contact HQ after you’ve eaten that and got a drink in you.”  
“Anyone in particular, sir?” Eren spoke around his fork, Levi looking to his own pastry as he spoke.  
“The mushroom should suffice, I’m sure.”

He heard Eren sigh happily as he reached over him to stow the empty container back on the bedside table before shuffling back into the centre of the bed and winding himself back around Levi, clearly wanting to stay there for a little longer before they were ultimately forced to get up and carry on with their lives. 

Eventually, though, Eren moved from the bed. Levi watched with interest as the other was still stark naked and he wanted to see how the other was moving. He was happy enough to finish off his bear claw as he saw Eren moving well enough. He wiped his hands clean with a spare napkin, bringing the other cake slice and claw out of the paper and placing the rubbish into it, more than willing to scoot down and get comfy, waiting until they knew for sure what their target was before getting ready. Grey eyes were back on Eren as he came back into the room, rolling to his side and propping himself up on an elbow, watching the other set himself up so he could sit. His eyes wandered away, mind doing the same, that was until he heard the noise of confusion from Eren, looking back in time to see him boost the signal so he could hear more clearly. When the sound of Armin's voice hit his ears, a frown started to set on his face, deepening as the conversation continued on. Eren sounded as though he was in the same thought process, that it couldn't possibly be as bad as they were making it. It was them after all, they'd handled worse things. Hell, they’d got out of worse situations. 

_"We don't really know... Hanji's mostly making conjecture at this point... but.. Eren I don't know how to tell you this. You're not going to like it."  
_ "Go on, Armin,"  
_"If it's a trap, it's a trap for Levi."_ He froze, if Hanji had come to that conclusion, then that could only mean one thing, something he didn't want to think about at any point in the present or in the near future.  
"Send someone else." The sheer anger he could hear in Eren's voice was quick to pull him out of his thoughts before they started to form. The sound made him smile despite the situation, the brat could be rather protective at times. "We're not just going to walk into a trap for the sake of one demon that someone else can just as easily put down."  
_"It might be more complicated than that.."  
  
_ "Put Erwin on. Now." He spoke at last, his voice dropping with command, and it gained him a squeak over the connection and of something hitting a keyboard.  
_"Lance Corporal Levi sir, I... I didn't know you were listening!"  
_ "Does that stop you from getting the Commander?"  
_"No, I... He's not here at the minute sir. He left with Officer Hanji not long ago."_ Levi sighed, falling back into the covers.  
"Tell the pair of them that they need to hurry up and decide if we're going or not. I'm not sitting around and waiting to be told no."  
_"I understand that, Sir, but they gave me specific instructions to inform Eren of this development when he called and not tell you the location."_

This was beyond unfair. They weren't even going to tell him about this? It was a trap for _him,_ he thought he had a right to know. He pushed off the bed, feet hitting the floor. "Tell me when you've finished, kid." And then let his feet take him from the room, rubbish bag and spare food in hand, heading towards the kitchen slowly. If they were even telling Eren, it meant they were the closest ones to the location. It wouldn’t be that hard to find.

After putting the desserts away and throwing the rubbish away, he couldn't focus on much after that, practically scrubbing the kitchen after doing the dishes they'd used. Eren informed him he was sorting the bedroom, them both clearly taking the time to try and forget about what had just happened, and that was fine with Levi. The day went on in the same fashion, them both not talking about what had happened in favour of saving themselves having to think on what was coming. As much as he wanted to just jump in and get this done and over with, there was always that element of them knowing it was a trap. A trap that had been specifically set for him. Hanji knew it, so did Erwin, all three of them knew the only people that could be behind it, and he dreaded to think of their names. He didn't want to, and thankfully Eren was on hand with food when he started to think about it that evening, to distract him with mindless conversation and some weird tv show.

  
  
_The Following Evening  
  
_

The next evening reared its head all too quickly, them both taking it easy all day, and they were both in the kitchen, eating something light while they waited for the instructions regarding last night. He didn't even bother to turn once he heard Armin's voice behind him. He just folded his arms across his chest, his leg bending at the knee to place his foot against the wooden door behind his legs, fully intending to let Eren speak.

 _"Alright. So the demon isn't a problem on its own, but the human is."  
_ "So there's possession involved. Nothing new."  
_"The human runs and lives in an orphanage. The problem is there could be any number of vulnerable kids in there, and the basement is going to be a definite tactical problem."  
_ "That complicates things then." Levi closed his eyes, head angled towards the floor as Eren continued.  
"Complicate is an understatement." He felt eyes on him, and it caused him to open his, head tilting to the ceiling, a sigh passing his lips.  
_"Levi, we can give this detail to some..."_

"No. We're taking it. End of conversation. We’re clearly the closest team you have out in the field, otherwise, you wouldn’t have bothered to inform Jaeger.." He cut Erwin off before he had the chance to finish the sentence, the firmness in his voice making the conversation pause briefly before Armin cleared his throat.  
_"We know of a handful of people involved. One name is definitely confirmed."_ Levi didn't want to hear who's name it was. He could guess already.  
_"I know you don't want to hear it, Levi, but Eren needs to know what he's going into. It's Petra." Hanji’s voice sounded rather apologetic. She clearly agreed with him since she and Eren were so far away from HQ they were having to stay in hotels._

"Petra?? Should I know that name?"  
"No." The answer was final and Levi continued to look at the ceiling, hoping Eren wouldn't push the matter and try and find out who she was.  
_"Should we not give this to someone else anyway? Details and distance aside."  
_ "Armin. Drop it. We are taking this case."  
_"Given the intimate and close past between the Lance Corporal and Petra, the regulation says we don't give the case to people that would clearly give a conflict of interests."_ Levi did all but growl, his arms becoming tense, his expression hardening.  
"Armin god damnit what did I ju..."  
_"Stop, Levi. Armin, they're doing it. If we send in anyone bar Levi and Eren, I don't even want to think of what the consequences will be. Plus, it would take days to get a team to get to them and we need to act now."_ Hanji to the rescue, he wondered if she'd been in the room.

“Now that we’ve reached the decision, we need to decide how we’re doing this, and how we’re going to deal with the basement if it only has one entry point.” Eren pointed out, finding it slightly odd that between himself and the younger blond on the other end _he_ was the one suddenly talking tactics. “What if they hole up in there and then blow the stairs? Or the entire place?”  
_“Honestly, I don’t think that’s their objective,”_ Hanji replied, sounding relieved that at least someone wasn’t getting caught up in the tense moment and was still at least trying to think objectively, even though she could probably tell that Eren was worried by what he’d just heard. _“As I said, it’s a trap for Levi. That’s why they went after those kids, they knew he wouldn’t be able to ignore it.”  
_ “So they’re not factoring me in at all? Do they know about me?”  
_“They know, Eren, believe me,”_ Erwin interjected, sounding a little rueful. _“They just don’t care. They don’t see you as a threat.”  
_ Hanji sighed. _“I can’t believe it came to this. Why they’d suddenly decide to pull this kind of stunt, after all this time. Why now?”  
_“I’ll be sure to ask on my way in, four-eyes,” Levi muttered. “Anything else helpful to say, or should we just get ready?”

There was another pause, and he could guess the others were looking at each other, Levi still looking to the ceiling, wanting nothing more than to just get this over with already. _"No, nothing more. I trust both of you to act with the utmost caution going into this. Come back in one piece. Both of you."  
_ "Where are we headed?" Eren asked before he had a chance, Levi pushing off the counter as Armin responded with their location. He was out of the room quickly, trusting the other Nephilim to know where they were going. He figured Eren had spoken further on the call since by the time he entered the bedroom, he was already pulling his harness on over his clothes. "Levi?" The fact Eren used his name and not a title made him look up from where his foot was on the bed covers, hands fastening the buckles on his shin, his other leg already done.  
"Just get ready Eren, I want this over with."  
"You know I can't."  
"Don't make me make it an order..." They held eye contact for a moment before Eren got the point and nodded, Levi going back to his harness, quick to fasten the buckle and move on to the one at his thigh.

Soon enough they were both ready to leave, Levi rather apprehensive as they walked out the door. Instead of heading to the lobby of the hotel, he informed Eren they were heading to the roof, taking the stairs the two flights left and soon appearing under the cloudless starry night sky that covered New York City. They walked towards the edge, Levi looking to Eren, turning as did so, hand reaching into his pocket, pulling out a thin strip of leather and looking down at his hands. He was actually worried, and he was sure to hell that Eren was picking up on it, the brat said as much. "Why are you so worried??"  
  
"I can't help but worry." He looked up, seeing Eren looking to his hands, their eyes soon meeting and asking the question silently, receiving a small nod in response. Levi closed the space between them, standing close and looking up to the other Nephilim, hands reaching out and attaching the collar around his neck, "I know you brought it for something else, but.." He pulled the buckle securely shut so it wouldn't come off. Slender fingers trailed over the smooth, soft leather, his hand pulling away. "To make sure we both come back.."  
"How do you mean?" He gave Eren a sideways glance, seeing the other touching the collar gently. He knew Eren was attached to it even though they'd never used it for its intended purpose of Eren wanting to 'spice things up' in the bedroom. Not that Levi needed any props to sex Eren into a coma.  
"If we get separated you come back here, that's your job at the end of the day. You aren't to take it off. That's my job. To come back to you wearing that." He was looking at the city light spread after them. "I'm not even close to tipsy for this chick-flick moment. Just... Lead the way, Eren."

He nodded, taking one last look up at the stars and sucking in a steadying breath before he stepped forwards into the night air, twisting into a roll as he dived, black-blue wings spreading in a flash of feathers at the optimum moment to give him maximum force under them. Levi was quick to follow, trying not to think of what awaited them...

  
By the time they arrived, touching down behind a parked car a little way down from their target as they watched the front door, it was already obvious that something was wrong. The whole row of streetlights were blinking on and off at random as if the street was floating between having a power cut and still being attached to the grid as normal, and they could feel the highly concentrated demon aura flooding from the building even before they hit the asphalt.

The house itself still had lights on throughout all three floors, the building fairly modern styled and large even by the standards of the ‘picture-perfect suburbia’ white-picket-fenced houses on either side. There was clearly going to be no question on the topic of who was going in first as Eren pulled his gunblade out and quickly glanced at his hips to make sure he had a full holster of spares available before he headed on in.

As the door was kicked in, Levi followed him into the theoretical darkness of demonic aura. Staying close, doing his damnedest to not get separated as his brain began to fog quite quickly. It felt like his soul was on edge, never mind his mind and body. Every time Eren shifted his body, his own reacted similarly. They were like two magnets, their minds were in the same zone, both of them on edge as their backs were towards the other, their wings almost touching but not quite. The proximity was a comfort. His grip increased on the handles of his gun blades, and he took another breath, almost gagging at the distinct demonic odour that filled the large house. “Eren, we need to move.”  
“Yeah…” He turned around and he growled, causing Eren to turn to see what was happening. There were arms around Levi’s waist, a body hidden due to his wings, the strong arms pulling him backwards. “Levi!” As Eren moved with Levi being dragged backwards, he himself was grabbed.  
“Eren, _damn it!_ ” He started to pull against the arms, as he saw Eren start to kick and fight. His sword angled, stabbing over his shoulders and wings, connecting harshly as a yell of pain sounded, along with another from Eren’s assailant. 

The arms fell from around his waist and he headed quickly back to Eren’s side, who was doing the same in his direction. Gunfire sounded, hitting the handle of his sword, just missing his fingers, it made him flinch and pull back and his hand releasing the tang on instinct. It clattered to the floor as more demons entered the fray, clearly intent on separating them both, knowing they were better together, better as a team. Arms wrapped around his wings and he hissed, another set round his waist. There were at least three on him and he couldn’t shake them, his weapons being shed and thrown to the floor in various directions, hearing the clatter and thuds. He spun, using his wings to keep himself light on his feet, managing to throw the two off his wings and he turned, wings clearly wanting to take him into the air, but not being able due to being in a building. Hand went to his thigh, a dagger still present and it came up harshly, slashing the neck of the one that had been attached to his right-wing. Instinct told him to put the wings away, and they started to reseed, to vanish from the human plane of existence.

“Not today my Angel,” he knew that voice and he turned as a shock went through him from his leg, something piercing the skin to make him fall to one knee, now facing Eren, who was being bound by several demons at various points over his body and wings, weapons having the same fate as his own, bar his knives that were still attached to the harness. The electric shock stopped, something being pulled from his thigh by a short, brunette who stood to full height, twirling the small needle-like projectile between the fingers of her right hand. “No need to hide the beautiful sight, Levi. Guys?” Hands found his body, hauling him to his feet and restraining him. Grey eyes tried to focus, it taking a moment or two as he focused on Eren, the other looking his way, anger on his face as green eyes looked at the demons holding him at various points. One demon for each arm, one around his waist, his back pressing against their front, and one on each wing.

He was glad it was them and no one else. Anyone else would be dead on the floor right now.

He was willing to bet there more, more they couldn’t see but could feel, just waiting to be needed to stop the battle Eren and Levi would ultimately fight to the death over. His eyes slid away from the other Nephilim, to the brunette looking him over, their eyes meeting. “Petra,”  
“Corporal.” She nodded her head a little, eyes directing to the Demons behind him. “Top floor should suffice.” Her eyes slide to Eren’s captors, “the basement for that one.” Levi felt himself be pulled towards the stairs. He was practically carried, feet skimming the floor as he started to kick, but to no avail, the heels of his boots hitting the steps as he was pulled out for Eren’s sight, hearing the other shout to him.

He saw soon on a landing, trying to take in everything he could for the point in this where he got the chance to run. And he was going to take that chance with both hands and feet and run for his life. He guessed going straight to Eren would cause that escape to fail. Levi was still struggling to break free, all the hands-on him increasing their grip, no faltering as they manhandled him up the stairs.

Once they hit the landing of the second floor, he looked around frantically, eyes landing on Petra walking behind him, looking to his left, the gaze was followed and he was a small frame being held several feet in the air. His face paled, he stopped fighting, stopped his struggling and became almost dead weight in the demon's grasp. The red that filled his vision as the metal was withdrawn, the small yelp that accompanied the movement. It set his body on fire with anger, pure undiluted _anger_. 

His body acted on its own, his wings beating with difficulty, causing the whole pack to stumble, to loosen their grip enough for him to get free. The body was dropped to the floor, a dull, wet thud hitting the carpet as blood covered the front of the clothes of the girl that had just been killed before his eyes, probably the last orphan in the house given the number of bodies that littered the floor of the dimly lit second floor. The rage in him just made him see red, it made him go on autopilot. He had no weapons, his fists and wings were all he needed.

Said white wings beat backwards, knocking a demon into the wall, falling to the floor dazed. His fists came out, pushing another out his way as he made a beeline for Petra. She stood her ground, a few meters away from him as Levi was caught around his neck and pulled backwards against a firm chest, knocking the wind out of him slightly, but still, that didn’t stop him. The effortless move of pulling the arm, the demon over his shoulder, and Petra’s command to more of her forces hit his ear, and suddenly, he was pressed against the floor, arms roughly behind his back and his wings gripped tight, making him flinch. “Levi, please, you don’t make this any more difficult than it needs to be.”  
“Did you really expect me to just sit by and _watch_ that?!”  
“Was just a theory...” His face was pure anger, watching Petra flick her hand to indicate he needed to be off the floor, the demons complying quickly and pulling him to his feet, arms still tightly behind his back and pushed forwards, forced up the last flight of stairs. After they entered the top floor, it looked very much like an open planned living space, as if it was an apartment within the large orphanage. There were two beds pushed against opposite walls, all the other pieces of furniture pushed back against the walls in a similar fashion. He was thrown forwards, hitting the floor and rolling, his wings not liking the action and pulling to his back, Levi wanting nothing more than to get them out of view, to get them out of harm’s way. But once he tried, another dart was in his body, this time his shoulder.

He hissed, the electric shock coursing through his torso and into his wings. He yanked it out angrily and threw it to the floor, eyes glaring at it, but soon lifted to Petra as she spoke in an effortlessly calm manor. 

“Look, we’re doing this to help you.”  
“Help me? How the _fuck_ is any of this helping me?” He pushed himself up on hands and knees, forcing himself to stand, wanting to stand his ground and fight as much as he possibly could.  
“Helping you to see the truth.”  
“That you guys are insane? I already knew this, Petra, you didn’t have to set this trap for me to tell me this!” His hands balled into fists, feeling bare without his weapons against his body. He could also still feel the slight buzz in his body stopping him hiding his wings.  
“We aren’t the ones that are insane. You’re being lied to and you still stay.” She sighed as she spoke, stepping forwards, her demonic crew flanking her on all sides. Clearly, they knew how much of a threat he could actually be, and on good authority, this was his old squad. He led these people into battle countless times. Both before and after he died. The comment on lying made him stop though, a frown pulling across his angry expression.

“Lying? No one is lying to me.”  
“Levi you’re on the wrong side. You don’t even know it. They’re lying to you. They can do things far worse than anything I can do to you.”  
“They aren’t lying. They wouldn’t.”  
“Of course they would, they have no reason _not_ to lie to you. You’re a pawn to their end game and Eren probably knows full well that you are.”  
“No. He would never…”  
“He’s the distraction they want you to have. To avert from the lies and the pain. Because they know you, not as well as they think, but they know you enough that if you weren’t distracted, you’d see right through their lies.” Levi’s angry expression softened, it morphing slowly as she spoke, becoming a look of confusion. “Queue the cute boy that garners your affections since Erwin clearly wasn’t doing a good job of it.”

“Why would they need to lie to me?”  
“Because look at you Levi. You’re one of the best people in the entire garrison. Look at your reincarnations. You’re a strong constant in this universe. They need people like that. You follow orders with next to no hesitation. You follow when you should be questioning. You came here, clearly knowing full well what awaited you. You used to do the same thing when you lead this squad. I know it because I did the same thing. I know you better than you know yourself. I would follow you to the end of the world.”  
“Petra… No... You’re lying to me. They wouldn’t. There is no need. There’s no end game than ridding this world of demonic threats. You included.” He spat the words, and suddenly, he was on his knees as pain racked through his body, _again_ . “Stop that for fucks sake!!” He yelled, his body as he tensed beyond it being fair.   
“Levi, please try and understand.”  
“I’ll never buy what you’re selling Petra. I won’t. I just can’t.”  
“You need to come to our side. I am willing to do everything necessary to make that happen Levi. I need you on _my_ side.” Levi met her gaze, shaking his head slightly as two people grabbed an arm each and held it out to his sides firmly. “Gunther, be a dear and go and see what Eren still has on his harness.” Levi watched the male nod and head to the room quickly without question.

“Petra…”  
“Levi, I need you to understand that I’m doing this for your own good.”  
“You can’t push me. It won’t work. I’m not part of that unlucky percentage.”  
“Do you know this for a fact?” Levi couldn’t answer. It was true; he didn’t know if he was in that small minority wherein if he was pushed he’d be pushed into the demonic ranks of the fallen Nephilim. “Exactly, you can’t. The rest of us are, as you say it, the unlucky percentage. We can test it here and now. And I’m willing to. I care for you Levi, I need you to see this. I need you to swap sides. Be it willingly... Or forced…” A few minutes of silence ticked by with Levi staring to the carpet, not wanting to look around the room, mind thoroughly on Eren downstairs in the basement, wanting nothing more than to be able to see him, to be reassured he was ok.

“What are you doing with Eren?”  
“Nothing half as bad as we are going to be doing to you. I don’t need him. He’s part of their plan. I don’t want him distracting you any longer. If that means getting him out the picture. So be it.” He hung from the hold on his arms slightly, feeling his heart start breaking as he thought of Eren downstairs, defenceless and not able to see him either. Gunther returned there, handing a knife to Petra, who turned it in his hands.  
“Do you want to make this easy, and just change sides on your own accord? I don’t want to see you hurt, Levi, in any sense of the word.”

“I’m never going to change sides. I’m never going to leave.” He left the word ‘Eren’ hanging in the air, and Petra knew full well what word Levi left out of his sentence. The knife went from his hip to his collarbone, tugging forcefully several times, slashing right through his harness, cutting a slight hole where the tip of the blade caught his shirt, it thankfully, not cutting him… yet. The demons pulled it to his hips, it falling away past his wings easily, the whole front now unusable. His shirt was next, being unzipped and pulled, it being forced off his body and his arms were again grabbed and held firm, and he couldn’t even struggle if he wanted to. The knife was brought across his chest, Petra using surgical precision with the slash. It made him hiss, the fact she was doing it with intent to harm making his mind reel. He dreaded to think what she had planned. “Now, I know you have a high tolerance for pain. But I also know even you have your limits.” Another slash, parallel to the other, not quite from shoulder to hip. Blood began to trickle down his chest, the second strike being slightly deeper than the first. “Let go of him.” The hands were gone, and he fell forwards, his hands catching him as he fell sideways.

Soon enough a blast hit him, hitting his shoulder as he sat up on to his knees, making him grunt in pain as the demonic wave shattered his shoulder. His Nephilim healing abilities started to get to work almost instantly, knitting his bones and severed nerves back together, and it happened again, this time his elbow, his powers seeping down from his shoulder quickly and tied the broken pieces back together under his skin. She saw her nod to someone behind him, and he didn’t even want to look to see what was coming. “How much do you think your abilities can heal?”  
“Any damn thing you throw at me.”  
“Yeah?” A blood-curdling scream sounded from his lips, his head being thrown back in absolute devastation as pain racked quickly through his entire being, through his very _soul_ as his left-wing was snapped in two, the end of it hanging limply as he fell to his right, another snap, the base this time, the scream even louder, bordering on the scream of angels true voice, tears already streaming down his face. His whole body began to shake in shock, face pressed against the floor as he scrunched his eyes closed. He could already feel his abilities trying to heal, trying to save him from the pain, but truth be told, the healing made the pain worse. That’s how healing wings worked. The bones were thick and robust and took effort, the nerves intricate, delicate in nature. It was a painful process to heal a broken wing, and tiring at the same time. It definitely took it out of the Nephilim as he healed. And he currently had two breaks. He couldn’t even begin to feel ashamed as he cried on the floor, tears streaming into the plush carpet. “Do you think it can heal _that_ , Lance Corporal?”

He flinched outwardly at the title, it sounded almost foreign on Petra’s lips, not having heard it quite a number of years. The pain was taking precedence over speaking, not being able to open his mouth without a scream of pain leaving his lips. He was almost starting to curl in on himself, the pain almost to the point of unbearable, his healing ability dulling it, but adding its own flare of pain as it seeped through his veins and wings to try and heal the broken part of his body. “Well? I asked you a question?” He shook his head against the floor, his arms wrapping around his stomach as he felt a boot stand on one of the broken parts of his wing, a strangled whimper passing his lips.

A scream hit his ears then, making his eyes scrunch close, knowing that voice all too well. He missed the look of curiosity that crossed over Petra’s face as if to say, ‘good timing’. He felt the boot lift and move, stopping antagonizing the wound. He was fine, until his name. It ripped through him and it made him open his eyes, and all eyes in the room were on him as he went back. The second time his name ripped from Eren’s throat, his body shook, and his will power took over the pain to the point where he tried to move, tried to get himself standing. It failed miserably as he got to his hands and knees, his arms shaking under him and causing him to fall on to his chest, face back against the floor. 

“Seriously? After all this, you want to go help him? You realize it’s his fault you’re lying face down on the floor right?”  
“Not… No…”  
“If he hadn't corrupted you enough that you completely missed the planning and the lies told right to your face, you wouldn’t be face down on the floor with a broken wing.” No. It wasn’t Eren’s fault. Eren was trying to save him, to protect him. To get him out of here at all costs, that was clearly his mission from Erwin and Hanji, they knew that this could go south. If Eren didn’t succeed, backup would be on its way if they didn’t check-in. Erwin wouldn’t let them walk into this without a backup plan to get them out of there when shit undoubtedly hit the fan. Levi couldn’t help himself, he tried again, and he almost managed to stand, ending up falling back heavily on to his ass, legs haphazardly laid out in front of him, his right bent, toes brushing against his left calf. 

“You just don’t give up do you? He’s a lost cause by now.” He could still hear the painful cries, could hear his Eren’s voice over the transmission, could hear it through the _floor_ , never mind anything else. Every instinct he had was directed towards Eren, to try and help him even though he couldn’t even help himself right now. “Levi,” Petra knelt before him, a sad look on her face as he looked at her, barely able to focus with his arms barely holding him up. “You can make it stop, just join us. I don’t want to force you like this.”  
“S’only way… I’ll join you, Pe-etra.” He looked away, to the floor and she stood, sighing.  
“I can’t understand you. I’m offering something so much _better_ .”  
“You’re… offering nothing… There’s no offer…” He was trying to tune Eren’s cries and the sounds out, willing his ears and brain not to hear or acknowledge them.  
“I’m offering you a family. I’m offering for you to come _home_ , Levi.” He closed his eyes, tears clinging to his eyelashes. He didn’t know how much more he could take off Eren's voice. It soon went dead though and he stayed where he was, swaying slightly on his hands holding him up, planted against the carpet. The connection died then, his ears hearing the telltale sound of a click that signalled the other end had effectively hung up. 

This waiting was allowing his wing time to heal, his arm pretty much fixed now, and it wasn’t until the silence stretched on for a further few minutes, that a loud crack was heard through the room, it knocked the wind out of him as the break joined together, it causing him to fall on to his elbows, still on his side, resting there awkwardly. “All better?”  
“The nerves… are rejoining.”  
“Good, means you’re on the mend. Not that you’ll need your wings after you defect.” Nothing else happened, until footsteps, _angry_ footsteps met all their ears. “Grab him. Now,” 

He was pulled to his feet, an arm around his neck, his wings hanging limply behind him, trailing the floor, all the energy in them not being able to keep them lifted. Why did Petra sound worried? Surely she wasn’t worried that Eren was coming up through the house? Eren was surely dead by now and it was his fault. He’d insisted, been adamant that they were taking this case, that they were seeing this through regardless of the 85% chance of exactly this happening. He bargained, given the amount of demons, that percentage was closer to 95%. Maybe Erwin and Hanji were here to get them, maybe they’d already got Eren out? That’s probably why the transmission cut out. Erwin wouldn’t want his plans to be overheard. 

Eren burst through the closed door, _dripping_ with blood. His eyes widened, watery grey taking in his lover's current state, and a hand soon found his jaw and the other side of his head. “One more inch and he’s a goner for sure.” It made Eren pause, and tears leaked freely down his cheek now, looking thoroughly dejected and defeated. His hands were weakly holding the Demons pinning him against his chest and holding his head ready to snap his neck.

“E-ren, g-go, please." His voice was quiet,  
“Put. Him. Down.”  
“...Okay..” His body was twisted, the hands readjusting and the next thing he knew there was pain all over his face, the sound of glass shattering and he was suddenly in freefall. His body twisted on its own accord, trying to get his wings to function, going into autopilot, but nothing happening. No movement happened to catch his fall as the air whipped past him.

The crunch that followed was nauseating. His body giving up the go slowly but surely. He assumed Petra and her gang of cohorts had vanished into thin air, and his head lolled to the side as his mind thought on to the scream that he’d heard as he’d hit the ground. It hadn’t been his own, or Eren’s. His brain couldn’t identify it. His surroundings felt surreal, bizarre to his senses to the point he didn’t think he was conscious anymore. He could feel the blades of grass against his outstretched wings, feeling them both at full span, stretched to the max. Clearly his failed attempt to catch himself had tried to actually become a reality, his wings having tried to catch the current of the wind to help cushion his fall and turn him on to his front, or to cocoon him in the protective embrace of welcoming white feathers. He could feel the blood seeping into the ground under him, could feel fractures, but his wings not moving to acknowledge them. His leg was bent at a strange angle, his arms flat at his side, palms up and one hand looking to be swelling. He was broken as he lay there and he heard the rush of a familiar set of wings, and arms soon scoop him up into strong arms. Arms that shouldn’t be strong. 

“Levi? Levi for fucks sake _look at me_ !” A hand found his face and turned his head, his eyes moving sluggishly with the movement. The embrace felt warm, too warm to exist. It was protective, something his mind was telling him he didn’t deserve. Grey eyes, tears leaking out the corners freely due to nothing stopping the flow now his body had become so still, soon locked on to a green he knew and found his home within. But he couldn’t find the words. “Get the _heck_ back Mikasa I swear to _god_ .” Mikasa was here? Why was she here?”  
“Eren, please.”  
“Armin. Back off.” Armin too? Why were they here? Were they injured too? Why was there so much blood covering the Nephilim holding him? His right hand twitched against his chest, where Eren had folded it carefully, and tried to reach up, soon swallowing weakly, his eyes closing as his whole body became limp within Eren’s gasp as he heard a girlish scream above his head accompanied by footsteps and black enveloped his vision, shielding himself and Eren from view.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: There is a suicide attempt in this chapter. If you do not want to read this, please skip past the obvious gaps in Eren's part towards the end of the chapter. You can't miss the gap, promise. When there's a blank space, just skip to the next blank space <3 
> 
> Unfortunately, there isn't another way to skip it, as there are bits in Eren's part that you will need going forwards.

It had felt odd, flying without actually flying. He knew the arms around him were Erwin’s, knew their strong hold from memory not to mention the oddly sweet smell of his cologne.  
His eyes flickered open against the wind, trying to move within the hold. Everything hurt, literally everything. Why had he done this? Why had he insisted on them both coming here to face this alone? This could have been Eren, and with that thought, the only thing he could think about was that he was fucking glad it was him and not Eren.

“Levi, please stop moving, I‘ll end up dropping you.” Erwin’s low tone against the wind whipping past his ears made him stop and go limp, Erwin’s hold increasing around him, making him groan. “Sorry, but I don't trust Jean to catch you.” Neither did Levi, to be honest.

It felt like a lifetime of dropping in and out of consciousness on the way back to HQ, and the next thing he knew he was being carried swiftly through the building, then his next thought was being laid upon a rather hard surface. He was then jostled, causing him to scream in pain as his legs were moved. He tried to clench his hands tightly, but pain shot up his arms, unable to follow through with the action. “Levi, please.” He couldn't help but try to move, try to get away from the pain as the female voice tried to calm him. “Hold him.” Hands seemed to be on every inch of his body, none of them gentle, bar the two holding his head.

Eren.

He was ok enough to stand and help whoever was around him, that meant he was in better shape than he was. He tried to open his eyes, but the light made him hiss and close them again, his mind switching off.

The odd feeling of flying without flying came back, took over his mind and body as the pain melted away from him. Suddenly, he saw himself, saw just how many people were in the room with him. Talk about out of body experience….

Hanji was leading the helm with a handful of nurses and doctors. He’d never seen her look so serious in all his life.  
Erwin was by the door, looking just as serious but letting the worry bleed into his expression where Hanji obviously wasn’t allowing herself to feel right now.  
Eren was by his head, hands cradling his now blank expression and looking furious, he could have sworn something didn’t seem right with him, didn’t sit right in his heart as he watched just how protective he was.

Armin and Mikasa were either side of him, both holding down his upper arms, Mikasa more carefully given it looked as though his arm was broken at the elbow. No wonder it had hurt to try and clench his fists…  
Nurses were flanking Hanji, and another doctor he just couldn’t remember the name of was by his legs with a needle. That must have been what caused this to happen, for him to be watching from the window. He’d been knocked out cold.

“Right, he’s out, move people. Eren you can let go.” Everyone stepped away from his body and Eren listened to what Hanji was saying, though rather reluctantly it seemed and Levi saw his head roll carefully to the side with the help of one of Eren’s hands. It was then he could see just how utterly broken he was.

His left arm was broken. As was his right hand.  
Both wings were broken under him and not looking like he was healing in the slightest.  
His right leg was broken, as well as what looked to be his ankle. That must have been the leg he landed on.  
And the amount of blood that was soaked into his clothes… it was like his wings had broken through all over again.

He choked up slightly, even more so as he saw the look on Eren’s face as he hadn’t stepped away, but stayed by Levi’s head, looking on to what was a broken Nephilim with not much hope right about now given how serious Hanji seemed to be.

“Ok, I want this room cleared. That means everyone that's not medically trained.”  
People started to file out, clearly not wanting to argue with Chief Medical Director Hanji Zoe.  
The only one that stayed put was Eren, hands now on the table either side of Levi’s head, looking down at him.  
“Eren…” It was Armin’s voice, having got halfway out of the room to find Eren not following himself and Mikasa.  
“Eren, I need you to leave as well.”  
“I’m medically trained.”  
“Not in this life you aren't. Out. It's for the best if we can work uninterrupted.”  
“I can help, Hanji.”  
“The thing you can do to help him right now is to go. Eren, please, I don't want to be tripping over people. I need people on my wavelength here if he has any hope left.”

Eren clearly wasn’t up to Hanji’s standard, no matter how much medical training he'd had before becoming a Nephilim, and he knew it for a fact. He dropped a kiss to Levi’s forehead before sighing. “Do the best you can Hanji, he can’t… He…” Armin moved forwards and took hold of his hand there, guiding him out the room.  
“No, no he can’t. Let's get going, people.” Hanji began to move as the door closed, but the others didn’t, looking between Levi and herself. “What?”  
“Can this be fixed?”  
“Of course it can.”  
“But…” A nurse this time, “he was thrown from a window.”  
“By demonic means.”  
“Doctor Zoe... He was thrown, bodily, not by demonic force..”  
“I don't care. You either help me or you get out. I can make it an order if I need to.”

She got worried expressions in return before the room kicked into action and it was a flurry of movement. The table he was laid on was raised to head height after strapping him in. They clearly needed to look at his wings as Hanji pressed a button and the table retracted to just below his shoulders and above his waist, leaving his back exposed as both wings fell into the gap. The way they moved as separate units told them what they needed to know. Several fractures and the joints weren’t working as Hanji’s hands were quick to find the source of any of the blood.

He honestly didn’t give the woman enough credit, she was fantastic at what she did.  
He’d never really seen her in full medical mode, and to be honest he wasn’t sure he was currently seeing this. This could all be just a dream his unconscious brain was playing on him. It wasn’t that he didn’t believe in this kind of stuff, you had to when demons walked the streets and you were made by an angel…

Soon enough he was back down at normal level, table full and Hanji ordering a bunch of equipment. The nurses ran out in a hurry, then she ordered the doctors to get certain things, obviously drugs and the like, and they rushed out next.  
Hands rested on the table either side of Levi’s feet, and all he wanted to do at that moment was to reach out, grab her, and never let go.  
The look of almost defeat on her face was devastating.

“You are going to hate me honey bun, but I gotta do it.” She seemed to me psyching herself up more than anything, glancing to the clock.  
“Don't you dare four eyes, I'm not dead yet.” He whispered to himself, a look of dread overcoming his face as she sighed, hearing voices outside the door and going to Levi’s right ankle and grasping it with both hands, testing the break for a second before a loud snap was heard as she re-broke his ankle. It made him flinch to watch, though thankful she wasn’t pronouncing him dead. She did the same with his knee, though that clearly took more effort as the gaggle of doctors and nurses flooded back into the room. She was handed a syringe and she quickly injected whatever was in straight into his leg, then repeated the rebreaking and injecting with his right hand, then left arm.

Everything went blank then as if a hood had been pulled over his head, then as soon as it happened, everything was light again and a rather tired looking Hanji was being assisted by a nurse to place every break Levi had in a cast, bar his wings apparently. His clothing had been removed, and by the looks of it, he’d been given a new pair of boxer shorts as well as there was no blood covering them, nor any other part of his body now. His wings still weren’t great, the white stained with red but he didn’t look like he’d been swimming in blood anymore.  
She didn’t look like she’d slept in the slightest. Judging by the clock, it hadn’t been long but he didn’t blame her for looking tired. She probably hadn't slept the night before worrying about himself and Eren, and now she was here, doing this.

There was a gentle knock on the open door, Eren stood in it looking just as worn out, if not more, than Hanji. “Can I come in?”  
“Of course, Eren.” He moved in, tired and worried eyes looking at Levi’s broken body. “Sorry about earlier.”  
“No, don’t apologise, you're his best chance. He trusts you, and so do I. Anything you need to be able to do your job in peace.” Hanji smiled a little, placing Levi’s ankle down, his right leg done and now setting. They moved on to his right hand next.

“How did people get to us so fast? We were a day out.”  
“Erwin and the others left the second we were done on the phone with you. I was placed on standby in case… yeah…” She glanced over Levi’s body as she continued, Eren moving to her side.

“I’ve got to ask…”  
“I’m surprised you didn’t as soon as you walked through the door.” Hanji looked up to Eren as she carefully laid the first strip over Levi’s hand. “He’ll be fine.”  
“He doesn't look like he’ll be fine…”  
“Well…” She sighed, clearly not sure how to explain this to Eren in a way that was comforting...

“He’s pretty beat up. Both wings are broken as you can see from the mess of feathers. I’ve managed to stop the healing process on them for now as they will interfere with everything else.”  
“You’re not letting him heal?”  
“Not his wings no. If they start to heal, they’ll heal at all the wrong angles given he’s lying on top of them. It's easier to address the breaks of everything else first, the right way up than try and work backwards and back to front.” She hadn’t looked up during this explanation, making sure the plaster strips were going in the right place. “Bar the obvious breaks, his right shoulder is fractured as well, and he's got wounds covering the backs of his shoulders. Deep scratches. Probably the work of whoever was holding him. Plus the mental damage that's undoubtedly going to occur after such an incident. He probably felt awful as well when he was awake, given he led you both into harm's way.”  
“Yeah but…”  
“No, Eren, no buts. I know him well enough to know that he will think this is all his fault and that he was glad it was him and not you.” Eren didn’t respond, just sat down in the vacant chair near the window, where Levi was currently standing watching the exchange. Hanji knew him well, this was his fault. “I’m also not going to lie to you Eren, it doesn’t look good.” Eren looked towards her there, rather shocked. “His breaks won't heal the same way his wings will.” She placed his hand down carefully and stretched her arms, going round to the other side with the nurse to start on his left arm. Levi knew what was coming, but the look on Eren’s face clearly showed he didn’t.  
“How’d you mean?”  
“His wings are the result of a demon. They’ll heal in the normal way a Nephilim heals from demonic inflicted wounds, once I let them do their thing of course. But his breaks were the cause of impact. There was no demonic essence around the breaks. My gloves detect it, picking up on any residue of power. His wings were covered, his body though… they made sure to limit what they used. It was meant to incapacitate him for a while, I'm not sure why, but they wanted him bedridden for months as his body will heal at a normal human rate, but with a touch of Nephilim magic I'm sure. Nothing is ever completely human with us.”

It went quiet in the room there, Hanji only speaking to give the nurse a little direction with the plaster cast mixture. Eren just sat watching, clearly having no intention of moving any time soon. He just watched her work over Levi’s body until she was finished, and she stood herself. Time passed by, Levi sitting on the floor next to Eren’s chair, leaning against it with his eyes closed. He must have passed back to wherever he was when he wasn’t in the room with them, probably back into his mind, because the next thing he knew, Eren was next to Hanji and they were flipping him. His plaster casts had completely set, and they were putting him carefully on to his front.

There was a slight grating noise, obviously bones in his wings moving against the broken parts, and Eren turned white at the sound. Hanji shouted out the room and soon enough, a rather large contraption was wheeled in. He knew what that was, but he’d never seen it in use. It was to alleviate wings.

He watched as Eren helped her slide the straps on him and a squishy bedroll was pushed under him after he was raised slightly by a mechanical whirring sound. He was lowered again and his limbs arranged accordingly to how Hanji wanted them.

It didn’t take long for her and two doctors to get his wings strapped up and raised, and they would look extremely impressive if it weren’t for the fact they were clearly broken in several places and blood splattered here and there that hadn’t been cleaned off.

“This must look incredible if…”  
“If the wings aren't broken? Yeah, well, when they heal we’ll see just how impressive the pearly whites are when out of flight.” Eren had had the same thought he had, and it made him smile as Hanji answered him.  
“What about the blood?”  
“Will need cleaning off.”  
“Do you need help with that?” Hanji looked to Eren as she waved everyone out of the room.  
“Sure hunny.” She smiled softly at him and moved to close the door as everything around him went black.

* * *

_Sometimes, you just don’t know how you got yourself into the mess you ended up in, but you definitely know you’re there. But to feel that mess, to feel the pain? It was something almost indescribable, but I will endeavour to try my best._

_It wasn’t as though I expected any less than what I got. I deserved more than this, more than the hand that fate had dealt me. It was strange though, to feel everything happening, to hear it, but unable to see it unfold before my eyes. Eren was always sneaking back to my side in the dead of night. At one point, I could feel him laid out next to me and I couldn’t do a god damn fucking thing to comfort the tears I could hear falling. They weren’t dry sobs that I could hear the teen was making. But, I don’t want to get hung up on that any more than I can feel myself doing._

_If I could take a breath, I would, but right now I assume Hanji’s taken that out of my control. One less thing for my body to have to deal with. Since I know the idiot too well, far too well, to know that she wouldn’t be letting some medical brats take over my care. I could guarantee she’d be the first face, even before the kid, that I’d see when my eyes finally wanted to open. It was a strange feeling, and I’ve often heard Hanji go on and on about people hearing things and feeling everything even though they are essentially in a vegetative state. Or at least, I’m sure that’s how she described it. Though I suppose I have some brain function, right? I’m here talking to you right now because of such ability._

_I never believed it, not once brought what she was selling, but now? Now, I’ll never doubt her again._

_What was infuriating, though, was every time I seemed to get angry the monitors would spike. Hanji would come running, even Erwin at one point during the early morning. All thinking I was awake, all thinking I’d come back to them. No such chance. Or probably not yet, at any rate. I could feel that I still had quite a way to go, nevermind seeing the state I was in given I was having quite the out of body experience still. Most of the pain was numb, or at least, I think it was. I couldn’t be certain, but a fall that great was something that you didn’t walk away from, not when you fell straight on to a broken wing, your leg catching the ground before it and snapping clean in two. But that’s not why I’m talking to you. That is not why I’m here._

_I’m here to try and convey something… Though what… I can’t rightly remember what I needed to say… I… No… I’m here because of a demon. I’m here because I took a step too far. I put myself and… Shit… no... Fucking **no**. I couldn’t… I can’t lose that. Not him. Not…_ **_  
_**

* * *

A loud crack rang through the room, waking Eren up from where he was asleep in the chair he’d pulled up to Levi’s bedside. He looked around blearily and Hanji soon came running in, looking at Levi’s vitals on the monitor. “Hanj?”  
“His wing just cracked back into place.”  
“That's what that was?!” Hanji nodded, quickly moving to the steps she put next to Levi’s bed on the side Eren wasn’t on so she could get up close to his wings. Just as she was about to put her hands on his right-wing, another sounded, though quieter than the first. She knew instantly, “left-wing.” He had two breaks in that one and it was now, with the second crack, twitching.

“It's a good sound, right?”  
“Very good. Means it’s healing.” Hanji was smiling now, a true smile at the fact one wing was completely fixed. “Now we just wait for the other one and I can force them out of sight.”  
“Why? Why not just keep them out?”  
“Because then we’ll be able to get him back on his back and I can see how his front is doing. And also get him in some clothes.” Levi was still in the clean boxers thanks to Eren and Hanji, so there was that. “Though that's a job for you, honey. I’m sure he won't mind me changing his underwear but I’d rather you do it.” She laughed a little, clearly in better spirits now she knew for a fact Levi’s wings were healing.

* * *

_I didn’t even get to tell him.. I didn’t get to say all the things I wanted to say. That I thought I had time to say. But no more. I don’t think I’m pulling out of this in one piece. I can feel myself slipping, I can feel my mind starting to be crushed under the weight of itself, the trauma, the need to fix itself anyway that it can._

_He was there, I see him there, next to me, gripping my hand like a vice… but who was he? I can’t recall. I know he’s important, but… his name… it’s gone. I doubt it’s ever coming back. He was my lifeline, and… And I can’t even remember his name._

* * *

Hanji had come back a few days after herself and Eren managed to get Levi into fresh clothes. It hadn’t been much, shorts and one of Eren’s t-shirts. She needed access to his casts and anything that needed tending too. Levi was her responsibility, she wouldn’t let anyone else take him in to their care while she was still breathing.

She checked him over, checking his casts, his head, anything she could. Hanji sighed, sitting down next to him with his chart, scribbling down notes and anything else of importance. “You know, you can wake up anytime you want.” She looked to him, her voice quiet. “Eren would like it, Erwin too. I don't know which one is worse right now. I need you to pull through, Levi, I really do.” She stared at his peaceful expression, a look of hopefulness on her features. “I need you to…”

* * *

_This woman needed to stop pestering me. My god was she getting on my last nerve. Who she was talking about, I just can’t fathom. Erwin? Eren? What sort of names were they, anyway? She needed to shush. I just want to sleep. Sleep for eternity and make this pain and insufferable insanity go away once and for all…_

_But I don’t get that kind of luck. Never. It’s why I’m still alone, it’s why I don’t have anyone besides me, and probably never will. It’s why I'm in a fucking coma, and not just dead. Because the world hates me. It hates me just as much as I hate myself. Other people would have died…_

_I’m never that lucky._

* * *

Strange was an understatement, as his eyelids operated for the first time in weeks of their accord. They were sluggish, and he felt like he was floating, his brain foggy and hazy. He could feel something covering his hand and what felt like a comforter across his body. He tried to move, finding he couldn't. His entire body was stiff beyond reason and couldn't pinpoint why that was exactly. As he flexed his form, he found parts of his body just couldn't move at all, bound tightly. His right leg was completely locked, and he could feel various bandages around his body. Had he had surgery?? He remembered being held captive, or at least along those lines. He felt like he was injured, and badly at that.

He tried to pull his hand out of the constricting hold, not understanding until he saw a body that was by his bedside, curled in a chair, his body lounging to the side, feet resting against the edge of the metal frame that the mattress was laid on. The brunet looked exhausted and currently looked asleep and dead to the world. That was until he moved, his voice hoarse and strained as he groaned, it matching his tired and rundown look. Within seconds he felt the man sit on the edge of the bed next to him, their hands still connected. His hand had a tube coming from his elbow and one from the back of his hand. With their hands still joined, he reached out, his arm heavy. He could see the other smiling at him, bringing their hands to his mouth to gently place a kiss.

"Hey. You scared me."  
"Wasn’t my intention." He half smiled, the action somewhat foreign as he tried to shift. He rolled his shoulders and boy did they ache, he sighed, his eyes closing. His grip increased a fraction so he was almost holding the hand that was wrapped around his own. Grey eyes opened, zeroing in on the male's neck, seeing the collar there stark against his skin. He didn’t want to ask… He felt like he should know about it. They clearly knew each other.  
"Levi, what's wrong?" Now he knew his name at least.  
"What happened...?"  
"We had some trouble with the last case."  
"Case? How long have I been out?" His voice was still dry, crackly as he spoke and his lips felt cracked and unused. His mind was still somewhat blurry through pain medication and confusion. He couldn't remember anything about how he got hurt.  
"Almost 6 weeks. You sustained injuries that they needed to knock you out for. Your wings are nearly repaired. Your leg is broken but on the mend, you also sustained a rather grim head injury." So that's why he could barely focus. He felt heavy, frowning in slight discomfort as he tried to shift, his body not wanting him to, all his joints stiff and unused.  
"I'm tired..."  
"Sleep, Levi, save your strength."  
"Stay... With me?"  
"Always." That was the last word he heard, his brain clicking off, sending him in dreamless morphine ridden sleep.

Another week passed by, taking him to nearly 7 weeks on that damned hospital bed, not that he could remember where he was as he woke, his eyes opening slowly, one blinking before the other thought to do the same action. "Levi??" The male voice to his left sounded relieved, but still questioning as he heard movement. He hummed in agreement to his name as a blonde male filled his vision, a hand gently touching his face. “How are you feeling?”  
“Je ne sais pas, fatigué?”

The words gained him an incredibly confused look and it caused a small frown to pull on to his face as the man was soon shouting towards the door.  
"Hanji!" He frowned, wondering why he sounded so frantic, and a light was soon shining in his eyes, making him flinch slightly, the male's hand slipping away. “Somethings wrong…”  
“What’s wrong Levi? Something hurting?” She sounded very bubbly and cheery. It was a bit unsettling and he shook his head in response to her question.  
“Depuis combien de temps suis-je dans ce lit?” 

Hanji stopped suddenly, shock covering her face. It took her a few moments, but she soon cleared her throat.  
“Levi, can you understand me?” Levi nodded. “Honey you’re speaking French…”  
“Non, je ne suis pas quatre yeux.”

Then he heard it, shock coming on to his pained face as he spoke slowly around the words. Why was he speaking French? The monitors showed his increased heart rate as he started to panic.  
“Levi it's fine, it’s something that can happen after a coma. Calm down.” Coma?! What coma?! When had he been in a coma?!

He started to try and move, a groan of pain escaping him. Hanji was quick to act, a syringe produced and soon inserted into his IV. Everything quickly went black and his body limp.

“Well, that can’t be good.”  
“Really?” Erwin seemed rather strained. “I’m just glad Eren didn’t see that.”  
“It can happen when people wake up from comas…” Hanji sighed as she spoke, sitting down on a vacant stool.  
“When was he even in a coma?”  
“We had to medically induce a coma to let his wings heal.”  
“He’s going to get better, right Hanji?” She didn’t respond, just stood and moved to get Levi’s chart, to record what had just happened.  
“Whatever happens, we need a plan B.”

* * *

10 weeks in total was his time from being brought in to now. Not that he was aware of how much time had passed the world by as he opened his eyes. He moved, feeling that his leg was extremely heavy, but otherwise, he felt ok. “Levi, you’re awake!” Grey eyes looked to his side as she shifted, the bed soon moving to sit him upright. “Thank heavens.” Levi looked at the man in his room with a confused expression.  
“Who… Who are you?”  
“Erwin…” Said male gained a similar confused look as he stood up from the chair he was sitting on, heading to the door and signalling someone down. A few moments later, Hanji and a nurse came through the door.  
“Finally, sleeping beauty wakes! How are we feeling?” Levi hesitated, which was completely out of character for him as he looked between everyone, Hanji growing worried. “You can understand me, right?”  
“Of course I can.” She looked relieved. “I’m fine. Where am I?”  
“The medical bay.” Hanji looked from the clipboard in her hand to Levi, giving him her undivided attention.  
“He didn’t know who I was,” Erwin spoke quietly from the other side of the room, across from the bottom of Levi’s bed.

“Can you tell me your name?” Levi went to speak, his mouth opening and closing a few times he took a deep breath,  
“Levi Rivaille.”  
“Good! Can you tell me what year it is?” Levi shook his head. “Who I am?”  
“A doctor?” A frown pulled onto his face at that, clearly, he was supposed to know who she was.  
“Well, not untrue.” She took a seat on the wheelable stood next to his bed. “My name is Doctor Hanji Zoe, I have been the one looking after your care while in the hospital wing. You’re currently in a technological company building, which Mr Smith here, is the CEO of.”  
“A technology company has a hospital bay?”  
“Of course, part of the company is researching medical science. My department, to be specific.”  
“So why am I here?”  
“Well hunny, you had an accident, and as a close personal friend of myself and Erwin, we brought you here to be treated.”  
“An accident?”  
“A severe car accident. That's why your leg is strapped up in this boot.” She gestured to his leg and his eyes followed, seeing the grey space looking boot around his leg. “And your arm.” He tried to move his arm and he couldn’t, it was a sling and bound tightly to his chest. “No one else was hurt, don’t worry. The road was in rather a bad condition and it caused… well… a rather bad crash. I won't bore you with the details.”

Levi couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He honestly didn’t feel like he’d been in a severe car accident. He was clearly a bit banged up given the state of his arm and leg but it wasn’t like he was dying.

“I need to ask you a few questions to gauge your memory loss. Is that ok Levi?” He nodded. “Good. It won't take long.” He saw her flip a sheet of paper over the top of the clipboard and begin writing. “Can you repeat the following for me? Apple”  
“Apple...”  
“Penny”  
“Penny...”  
“Watch.”  
“Watch…”  
  
“Great! Now on this,” Hanji handed him her pen and clipboard, “Draw me a large circle.” Levi did as instructed. “Now make it look like a clock face with no hands.” Again, Levi did this without issue. “Draw in hands to represent 45 minutes past 10.” Levi did this, but with a hint of hesitation.” Hanji took the clipboard back and flipped the page over. “What were the three words you repeated back to me in the beginning?” Levi went to speak but he couldn’t quite form the words. “Not to worry, short term memory loss is quite common after an accident such as the one you were involved in. Do you know how old you are?”  
“27.” His forehead creased and he felt fingers around his wrist gently, and soon felt the odd sensation of a needle being removed. “I think.”  
"Where were you born?"  
"I... Paris?"  
“Correct! You are currently living in America though, just so you are aware so don’t expect the picturesque scenes of France to be outside when you leave." The nurse that had taken out his canular took out the one at his elbow too, soon disconnecting him from all the machinery.

"I don't feel like I was in a car accident... I just... I feel tired. And sore. My shoulders hurt a little."  
"That's normal, it's a side effect of morphine and the medication we've had to give you to help boost your recovery. You're actually free to go home soon. Maybe another few hours. The medicine we have access to means you aren't hospital bound for long at all hunny."

It was a lot to get his head around all at once, feeling like his brain was overloaded with information both sensory and mental. He was struggling to focus, but he wanted so desperately to go home. "Is anyone waiting for me?" His eyes were on Hanji, who stuttered, Erwin soon intervening.  
"I am, of course. I'm here to take you home whenever you're ready. You're extremely lucky. You managed to escape the majority of the damage. Your car was totalled though I'm afraid. I was so worried Levi," a hand found his and he looked down at it, squeezing back instinctively, quite happy for the human contact. They must have been friends.  
"I'm still struggling... To recall..."  
"That will ease with time. Erwin here, I'm sure, will be able to fill in the blanks of anything you can't remember. He's on strict orders to look after your tight tushy. He has informed us you aren't thrilled with the hospital atmosphere."  
"No... I don't suppose I am..."

“Erwin, can I speak with you for a moment?” Erwin nodded, moving towards the door. Once they were outside, she turned to face him, handing him the clipboard. “He's a little bit too far gone.” She gestured at the clipboard and Erwin looked down, flipping the page to the clock Levi had just drawn. It was way out, the numbers not even on the clock itself. “He's going to struggle. As much as I have promised to call Eren up here when he woke up, I…”  
“You can’t.” Hanji ran a hand down the lower half of her face, then adjusted her glasses.  
“I don’t know what that might do to him, or Eren for that matter. If Levi doesn’t remember him, that could crush him.”  
“Yeah… We can’t afford to have both of them out of action.”  
“It's your decision. You are effectively his emergency contact. It was never changed over to Eren. Only you can make these decisions.”  
“That won't go over well…” He looked to Hanji as he handed the clipboard back, the woman looking sympathetic. “Get him ready to go. Plan B is in effect.” Hanji nodded, Erwin heading towards his office.

It took a few hours for Levi to be anywhere near ready to leave, constantly drifting off on a tangent of thought that pulled at his brain. Thoughts he couldn’t quite complete, only getting a fraction of the way thinking about something before it slipped away, and the more he thought about it, the more he couldn’t remember what the hell he’d been thinking. “Ready to go?” Erwin twirled a set of keys around his fingers as he entered the doorway, seeing Levi fully dressed in simple jeans and a black button down shirt, and black trainers of all footwear. It was odd to see, so used to seeing boots on his feet. He hoped that when he saw his clothes at the new place he and Mike had just set up, it would jog his memory on his fashion sense. He dreaded to think what Levi would say if he had his memories back and saw what he was wearing.

“I think so.” He looked up from his feet, having been staring at the DC shoes with an odd expression. He pushed off the bed, still a little unsteady on his feet, grabbing the bag that he had been told was his. There was a phone inside, his wallet (stripped of anything that could remotely trigger anything in his memory with any luck, or so Erwin hoped), and several books. Levi pushed the messenger bags strap on to his shoulder and followed after the other slowly, Hanji stopping them before they got to the main doors after heading down the elevator.  
“Here, it’s your prescription. I got it filled for you.” He took the bright white bag, heavy with whatever he was supposed to take. “Just a few top ups of pain killers just in case you need it. Even if you feel the slightest pain, anything, take something. Even if you feel like it’s just a pull at your shoulders, ok?” Levi nodded, the request sounded highly odd, not knowing why his shoulders would tug or ache any more than they were from lack of use. She pulled him into a hug there, not being able to help herself, Levi hugged back gently with the one hand he had free.  
“Thank you, Doctor.”  
“If you ever need anything, come back and see me.” He nodded as he pulled away, a small frown on his face as a thought tried to occupy his attention, it slipping away before he could take hold and focus on it. Erwin ushered him out the door there, leading him towards a car parked in the emergency bay, a sleek black 4 door, automatic. His mind looked around its interior as he sat in, closing the door behind him. The whole action felt foreign, and he couldn’t understand why. It was beginning to frustrate him, and it obviously showed.  
“Is everything ok?”  
“Things feel… they don’t feel right. I feel like I’m forgetting something in there as well. That’s not helping.” He looked back to the building, eyes looking to the top floor, his face confused, annoyed, Erwin quick to pull off.  
“I’m sure if you have, Hanji will give me a ring and I can come collect it.” Levi nodded reluctantly, watching the hospital slip from his vision.

It took around an hour to get to where they needed to be and he was rather shocked at where Erwin was pulling in, it being a rather nice apartment block, quite close to a shopping centre and a small trove of shops. He vaguely noted a bookstore, whose location he tried to get stuck in his head. Once out of the car, they crossed the parking area and the blond soon swiped a key card, allowing them access into the building. His apartment was on the third floor, number 6. A twist of a key later and the door was unlocked and they were walking into the fully furnished, rather cosy apartment. The thing that awed him most of all was the bookshelf that spanned an entire wall in the lounge. The next thing that hit him was how lived in the apartment looked. There were things dotted about idly, a book next to the bed; a laptop open on the sofa as if it had been left mid-task; mail on the counter in the kitchen.

“If you need anything, my number is in your phone. The car is yours,” he smiled, placing the keys down with Levi’s door key and keycard.  
“Erwin, I can’t even remember how to drive. Plus, wasn’t my car totalled?.”  
“It’ll come back to you, I promise you, just like everything else will in time. You may as well keep the keys safe, considering it's a gift from me.”  
“You brought me a car… as a gift?”  
“My company is considerably profitable. I can get a safe mode of transport for my oldest friend. Work isn’t expecting you back for a few days, so get settled back in and relax until then.”  
“Work?” Erwin nodded,  
“You work at a small coffee shop, the owner is yours truly,” He smiled warmly as Levi leant against the counter, folding his arms, almost reminiscent of the Levi he knew. “I’ll be picking you up on Monday morning to take you to work.”  
“What day is it now?”  
“Wednesday.” Levi nodded at that, still looking around the apartment.  
“Do… Does work know what happened?”  
“They’ve been informed, yes. They can’t wait to have you come back.” After that, he was left to his own devices, ending up falling asleep curled up on the comfiest chair on Earth, a blanket around him and a book in hand.

The rest of his week passed in much the same fashion, though he ended up heading into the town close by and raiding the bookshop for new books because he couldn’t resist, even though there was a room full of books he couldn’t remember reading, meaning he had the pleasure to read them all again. Bits and pieces had started to come back to him, small things like how he liked his drinks, or how he liked his food, it being an automatic reaction to order his favourite pastry at a small bakery near his apartment block. He really thought he was starting to get better, taking the pills Hanji had told him to, following the schedule that had been within the bag, which was now pinned to his fridge and typed into a little app on his phone just so he didn’t forget. Erwin had apparently taken one to work as well, just in case. Work was something he was looking forward to, he didn’t much like spending his days doing next to nothing, he wanted to do something productive, other than reading several books and spending the daylight hours wandering the town and streets, trying to jog his memory of anything such as routes or places. It hadn’t worked too well.

As he coasted through the days, he couldn’t help but think he was issuing something, forgetting something important. Every time he got close to it, the thought slipped from his mind, not being able to grab it before it vanished, and then when he thought about it again, it went away just as quickly, until he couldn't remember in the slightest what he even thought he was forgetting to the point where he thought he was going crazy over something ridiculous. It frustrated him, but once he’d fallen asleep Sunday night, waking early Monday morning, he couldn’t even remember forgetting something, the prospect of work filling his mind, actually a little excited. When Erwin showed up, he came bearing coffee, ironically, handing Levi a mocha Frappuccino, giving him a curious look as Levi sipped at it as he got ready in the uniform that Erwin had told him to put on, Levi honestly not catching the cautious glance, not knowing it was a vague attempt at memory jogging.

They were out the door after that, Levi with the small messenger bag filled with his phone, keys, wallet and a book. The uniform actually suited him quite well. It was simple, a plain brown fitted button-down shirt, his name sewn into the top of the pocket on his left hand side over his chest in gold thread and an italic font. He even had a small apron with a pocket over black, fitted jeans that flared slightly as they went to his ankle, covering his feet. He had a small notepad and pen on a retractable lanyard on his right hip from the studded belt around his waist as well, Erwin giving him that addition just before they left. His DCs were back on his feet, them actually matching the uniform, as he’d become particular to the various types of boots in his closet.

“Levi!!” He was greeted the second he opened the door, arms being swung around him, pulling him into a hug, the male rather surprised and almost not hugging back, his arms around her waist loosely. He looked at her shirt, looking to where her name was, it read ‘Sasha’. “We missed you so much!!! It’s not been the same without you!!!” She beamed at him and looked him over, “you’re looking good! So glad you’re feeling better. Come on!” She grabbed his hand, threading their fingers together and pulling. “I’ll take care of him, Erwin, thanks for bringing him in! I’ll take him home too!!”

It didn’t take long for him to settle in, picking everything up easily enough over the course of the day, setting himself into a routine of nine to five all week, passing by in a blur. He felt like he was beginning to remember, as if the more he focused on work and the people there, it helped jog his memory to who he was. Erwin had stopped by a few times over the week, checking in, and was rather impressed that Levi was able to make his coffee for him with no fuss. He’d even managed to put a smiley face in the foam on his latte one day he’d gone in. Levi had stared at it for a moment, looking like he didn’t know why he’d put a smiley face within the foam, and soon put it down to Sasha having been showing him how to do little tricks like that.

He seemed happy, and he tried not to dwell on the feeling inside that was telling him he shouldn’t be, tried not to dwell on the nightmares of blood and screams and shattering glass. He’d told Hanji about them during the week, the woman had come in for coffee, and she’d recommended he take an over the counter sleeping tablet, just to ease the dream. It had worked, so far at least, having got several successful night’s sleep in a row.

It wasn’t until two weeks after he got released that anything interesting started to happen. Erwin was there for lunch, Levi having just taken a panini and a coffee over to him. He was manning the counter while Sasha was sorting everything else in the shop, clearing the tables, making it presentable, taking things in the back. She was still ‘easing him in’ as she said, wanting him to get used to customers. He’d been leaning against the counter, waiting for someone to want something, idly watching as Erwin bit into his panini, happy enough when he seemed to enjoy the bite, happy he’d made it right. It was then it happened, Erwin froze as the door opened and it caused his gaze to follow his bosses, landing on a petite blond male who was looking around cautiously, eyes first landing on Erwin, then sliding past him, to Levi, who stood up slowly behind the counter. As Armin approached he paid no mind to Erwin again, eyes only or him it seemed. “Afternoon, what can I get you?” The almost happy tone took Armin by surprise, stuttering slightly.  
“Erm.. Oh… I… What’s good?”  
“I can make a mean pumpkin spiced latte?”  
“Sure. That sounds good.”  
“What’s the name?”  
“Armin.” Levi nodded, none phased,  
“Size?”  
“Large, please.” He grabbed the biggest mug that was on the counter and set about making the machine do what it needed, grabbing a marker pen and writing ‘Armin’ in neat script, a small drawing of a pumpkin after the name. He loved this drink, and he was grateful it was nearly Halloween because these pumpkin spiced lattes… best invention to mankind. He’d almost perfected it. It didn’t take him long, mixing the drink with a little extra cinnamon to the concoction. A look of concentration hit his face then, trying his best to put a picture in the foam, it almost worked, since it looked vaguely like a witches hat. He was quite proud of it, actually, proud enough that he called Sasha over to see it as he slid it across the counter to the blond waiting. She laughed heartily at his effort, going back to what she’d been doing as Levi looked happy with himself.  
“Is there anything else?”  
“Can I grab a slice of chocolate cake too?” Levi grabbed one, sliding it onto the plate, a napkin under the plate itself and sliding it across, saying the price and Armin handing it over, Levi giving him the change and watching him head over to Erwin, who was looking annoyed, but somehow… not, at the same time…  
“Levi, hunny come help me a sec!” Sasha shouted at him from the back, Levi giving a last look to Erwin, who smiled at him, before disappearing into the back.

Not giving a damn about his Commander’s almost displeased look, Armin picked up his cake and coffee and moved over to sit at the same table, sliding primly into the seat to allow himself definite breathing room without being too obvious. Any time the two of them were at odds over something it was like two supercomputers gearing up for a chess match, everyone else left way behind in the dust. Sasha eyed them for a moment or two, uneasy before Erwin sent her an ‘as you were’ sort of look which suggested that she’d be better actually paying attention to the shop and not to their conversation.  
“With all due respect, sir, were you even trying?” Armin asked delicately, observing the older man over the rim of his coffee-cup with an almost insulting blue gaze. “It didn’t really even take me this long to find him. I’ve been holding off.”

“This place has personal meaning to both of them,” Erwin replied evenly. “I didn’t imagine Eren would want to come back here if the memories were all he had. Levi needs routine. Couldn't just put him anywhere to work. Needed our kind to be watching him to keep him safe.” Armin’s face twisted at the calmness of his voice. Although he greatly respected the man as a tactician and a military officer, he was beginning to wonder whether Erwin the person was someone who did deserve any respect. He seemed to be using this whole situation only to his own advantage, stepping on the hearts of people who were very important to him. He’d had a crush on Eren himself for as long as he could remember, always making sure he was the one who controlled their workflow so that they never got into something they couldn’t handle, in order for Eren to remain safe. This time was the first time it hadn’t worked, and he was still just glad they were both alive and relatively healed, Levi’s memories notwithstanding. He hadn’t been counting on Erwin vetoing his professional decision to try and get Mikasa and Annie involved instead.  
“I also didn’t count on a certain someone getting you to do everything for him. Where is he? We haven’t heard from him all week.” Erwin inquired, eyes glinting with annoyance at the abrupt lack of contact once they had discharged Eren from his hospital stay.

Armin could make a good guess where Eren was right now, but he wasn’t about to tell Erwin what his hunch was because it would leave a very bad impression of Eren’s ability to cope with his situation. His glare increased as he took another large gulp of coffee and vaguely wondered how he was going to get out of the door without the drink being upended over his Commander. The man wasn’t exactly being terribly subtle with his little plans. Just because Eren wouldn’t see them even if they danced naked in his face it didn’t mean Armin was oblivious to this ridiculous power play.  
“If you’re that threatened, Commander, I suggest you just ask your higher-ups to revoke his status.” They both knew what that meant. “It’s the only way he’s ever going to stop looking.”  
“There hardly needs to be any more looking involved, Armin.” Erwin was clearly trying to play him off now, his tone easy and congenial in comparison to Armin’s tenseness. “The brainy lap dog has already seen to it that he won’t need to do that himself, as I said.”

Armin flushed an angry red, his mind going for the untouched slice of cake he’d purchased for Eren. If someone wasn’t very careful it was going to end up down them rather than in them before he left the coffee shop. But he paused as he saw Levi tentatively walking over, coming to a stop just by Erwin’s chair. The blond levelled him with a slight glare for that, but before he could say much more on the topic he was beaten to it.  
“Is there a problem here, Erwin?” Levi chose that moment to return to the shop, carrying a drink carefully between his hands, holding it close to him so he didn't spill it. He hadn't even been looking at Armin, missing the glare that was sent his way completely as Armin bit his lip and sighed, looking down. His drink was finished and he had always intended to take the cake back to the flat he’d recently had to move into. Eren was a hair's breadth away from refusing to eat, and he didn’t know what would do it if the cake didn’t do the job.  
  
"There's nothing wrong Levi, it's fine." He looked from the barista to Armin as he stood, grey eyes following the gaze, watching the other box up the cake and depositing his things away correctly.  
“I’d better be going, actually. I can’t keep _him_ waiting forever.” Levi frowned a little at the stressed word and glance in his direction, still holding the large mug in his hands, it was starting to become too hot but his focus was currently on Armin wishing Sasha a goodbye as she left.  
  
"Levi?" His head snapped back to Erwin, his voice pulling him from his thoughts, seeing him gesture to his hands. "Is that for me?"  
"Oh. Yes. It is." Erwin's hands came up to take it from him, their hands brushing against each other as they did so, Levi looking to the door after the coffee wasn't in his hands responsibility anymore. "Who was he talking about?"  
"Probably just his boyfriend or something."  
"Boyfriend?" His face gained a somewhat puzzled look, Erwin looked up at him from his chair with a worried expression. "Why'd he look at me when he said it? Do I know who he spoke about?"  
"Probably not. Maybe it was because you wandered over here when you should be working."  
"I was bringing you your coffee."  
"And it's delicious, now go. There's a customer." He glanced around, seeing there was indeed a customer and hurrying to go help them.

The next day started off uneventfully. He woke, ate breakfast, showered and got changed before his alarm even went off. He'd had a slightly uneasy night's sleep, but what was new there? Levi was then on his way to work earlier than he should have left, doing the late shift due to Sasha needing the night off, so they'd swapped shifts. He knew it was important since Sasha never worked mornings if she could help it. He'd chosen to walk, his apron folded carefully into a bag hanging loosely from his shoulder. He wasn't too far from work, around a half an hour walk, which was nice on cool days like this, not getting warm until he set foot in the door to the welcoming shop, seeing it rather busy with the lunchtime rush, it being 12:45. He was quick to put all his things upstairs in their colleague's break room, barely even using the locker that had been given to him, choosing instead to put his things on the sofa, knowing no one here would take anything or mess with his stuff. He clocked in early and went down to help Sasha and Connie, who were serving.  
"Levi, hunny, can you sort the tables out for me?" Levi nodded to her, going about collecting and wiping things down.

The day passed in much the same fashion, Erwin even setting up in one of the reading nooks around 2PM, apparently planning on staying there for a while, having a lot of work to do for his other place of work. At 4:30 PM, it started to quiet down, Levi now operating the place on his own, Connie having stayed a few hours extra to help him out after Sasha had left. In all fairness, he didn't mind working evenings, maybe he could pick up a few more to save him doing early mornings constantly. He'd spent his break next to Erwin, reading a book and eating a tuna panini, something he ate here quite frequently. He'd left his book where it was, when it was dead and there was nothing to do, he'd go back and pick it up again, much like he was now. Everything was clean, tidy, he'd even cleaned down one of the machines before sitting down for his last break at 6PM.

He heard the door open, glancing but not really taking the people in and placed his book pages down against the table to hold his place, and headed towards the counter, missing the fact Erwin had completely stopped everything he was doing to watch the new arrivals. "Good evening, what can I get for you?" It was the same person from before, the blond who'd sat with Erwin, and he'd brought a friend, of which he couldn't see the face clearly given he seemed fascinated by his shoes, a tug to his hand from Armin making him move forwards.  
"Hey, yeah. I could really go for what you made me yesterday. That spiced latte."  
"The pumpkin one?"  
"Yeah. It tasted amazing, can I get the same size?" Levi nodded in response,  
"I'm obsessed with them, I've got it down to a fine art. I’m sorry, what was your name again?" He'd picked up a mug and his marker pen as Armin spoke his name to him, writing the name across the heavy white mug. He placed it on the side, onto a tray, turning back to face Armin's friend, "do you know what you want to order?"  
"I..." His eyes looked up at last, green meeting grey and Levi froze, completely missing anything he said he wanted. His eyes were... wow.

It stopped his brain along with his body, his mind reeling and trying to think where he'd seen them before because he was positive he had. His mind couldn't bring up where he knew the colour from, surely he wouldn't forget ever seeing it, it was astounding.  
  
Eren froze at the same instant that Levi did, their eyes meeting again for the first time in what suddenly felt like a lifetime, even though it had only been more or less a week. The grey of his eyes screamed ‘home’ better than nothing else in the world, but now they were looking at him with nothing he recognised in their depths, and he didn’t know how to cope with it, his body shaking as it screamed at him to hop the counter and pull Levi into his arms where it knew he belonged now that they had been reunited again. Except he couldn’t, because Levi didn’t belong with him anymore. Not this ghostlike, blank excuse of the man he loved. To touch him now would be an insult to the memories he had lost. The things that made him who he was, the person Eren had admired and valued so much, and the thought burned at him like acid in his system, refused to be ignored.

Neither noticed just how much the other had stalled, the sentence dropping to nothing, the words stuck and scalding in his throat. He could only pray that Levi couldn’t see the tears seconds from pouring down his face or the violent shaking he was unable to force down as he fought to wrestle control of his body away from the urge to bolt straight out of the door and never come back. He didn’t want to look at those eyes anymore. It felt like someone had ripped everything out and replaced the real person with a cheap, flawed copy. It felt like he was just a ghost of who he had been, too, unable to function. And he was so tired of it. Tired of crying himself to sleep, tired of seeing Levi’s ghost everywhere he looked in the apartment, tired of imagining hearing his voice. Tired of it all. And it had only been a week.

"Excuse me?!" Armin's voice calling out pulled both of them out of their thoughts, grey eyes looking to the smaller of the two and then back to the other he had just been quite openly staring at.  
"I am so sorry... I... I'm sorry did you order?"  
"A Chocolate mocha..."  
"What name is it?" Levi had grabbed a plastic cup, his pen ready to write, his eyes fixed firmly on the space awaiting a name, he got no response and refused to look up, "I need a name, otherwise I'll have to get creative, kid."  
"It's... It's Eren..." His hand wrote quickly, placing the cup on the tray and looking to Armin,  
"Is there anything else that I can get for you both?"  
"Some cake would be good, any is fine, surprise us. Are we ok to pay on the way out? We might want more and my wallet is at the bottom of my bag."  
"Sure, I'll bring them over." Armin then proceeded to take Eren's wrist and pull, heading to the opposite side of the coffee shop from where Erwin was, who was staring at Levi, concern written all over his chiselled features.

He fumbled with the glass slightly as he picked it back up, waiting for the espresso to be done to add it to the glass, having already set Armin's drink into motion. He began to idly doodle next to the name, having already put a pumpkin next to Armin's name again. It ended up with a happy face and a chocolate bar with a bite out of the end. Everyone always knew who made their drinks if Levi was on since he was the only one that put anything after the name. He made Armin's drink first, placing it on to the tray and going about making the mocha. They'd been using instant all day due to not having much chocolate left, but he knew for sure that they'd just been delivered some, so of course, he went to fetch it. He'd have done it for anyone. Just because the customer in question was rather attractive, didn't mean he was giving preferential treatment in the slightest. Maybe if he told himself that enough he'd believe it, because the drink looked like a masterpiece when he'd finished. He'd added extra chocolate chips for good measure. The layers looked like he'd done them with a ruler, and the foam was covered in both white and milk chocolate shavings. He hadn't even realised he'd used chocolate syrup to draw a heart in the mountain of whipped cream alongside the chocolate flake he'd placed into the side. Thankfully, you couldn't notice it was a heart unless you were sitting in front of it looking down. He tried not to think of what it's destined owner was going to think. Armin's, he'd thought about again, having got a little better at the Halloween shapes. Two slices of cake were added to the tray and he added napkins under the drinks, placing spoons on the sides of the small plates the drinks were on, two forks being added for the food.

He took it carefully around the counter, heading past Erwin and towards the pair, placing the mug down and standing a little closer to Eren, just past the middle of the table. He hadn't even realised, focusing on placing everything on the table carefully so he could take the tray away. "Shout if you need anything else," before either could respond, he'd turned and headed back behind the counter, another customer needing his attention.

He went about his business, stealing looks to the male he knew was now called Eren thanks to needing a name for his drink. He couldn’t help but think that he was stunning. He’d been cleaning when the male in question suddenly got up and stormed out of the cafe. He'd stopped in the process of moving a tray, Armin soon flooded his vision, handing him money, apologizing and telling him to keep the change as he took off and ran after his friend. He rounded the counter after placing the tray down, taking an empty one and heading to collect the empties from the table. He was half tempted to return the cake, he didn’t think the pair had done anything, but his mind said no, that he couldn’t do it. So they ended up in the back, with Sasha’s name on top. The woman had an iron stomach anyway. He came back out, and Erwin had packed up and was sitting at the counter, on the few chairs stools that were there at the far end, away from the register. “Are you alright?”  
“Yes, should I not be?”  
“You just seemed a little distant there, that’s all.”  
“I feel alright.” He looked around the shop as he did so, there no one left now, but Erwin and himself.  
“Close up early, I’ll take you home.”  
“Are you sure?”  
“I own the place don’t I?” A small, almost not noticeable smile crossed his lips, and he nodded, going about cashing up and falling into his closing down routine, which lasted about half an hour. He was soon climbing into Erwin’s car, mind and the teen that had been in with Armin.

“Who was that earlier? Armin…”  
“He works for me.”  
“At your other job.”  
“That’s right.”  
“And you’re not going to tell me what that is?”  
“Office work, it’s boring, honestly I don’t want to bore you to death.”  
“And his friend…” Erwin paused, unlike his answers previous.  
“What about him?”  
“Does he work at your other job?”  
“I don’t know, I only deal with Armin because of his position. I don’t know everyone that works in the company, Levi.”  
“Mmmm.” He looked out the window there, seeing his apartment block pull into view, getting out the car with a small thanks.

The next few weeks passed in somewhat of a domestic blur. He ended up spending most of his time at the coffee shop, picking up extra shifts here and there and starting to work more late nights. At one point, Erwin had put his foot down and dragged him out for dinner, and it wasn’t until afterwards that he realized he hadn’t paid. He panicked at first, but Erwin said he’d taken care of it without him knowing. From there, they started spending more time together outside of a work environment. Erwin stopped coming in to do work in the quiet and instead saw Levi everywhere else. He’d even cooked for him at one point in his apartment, Levi ending up falling asleep on the sofa while they’d watched a movie and stayed the night. It was quite clear they’d become closer, the odd touches here and there; the way they were able to practically read each other’s thoughts; the way they spoke. It was nothing more than that, but Levi certainly got the feeling the other wanted to make it more. Hell, they practically went on what was essentially dates every week.

He hadn’t seen Eren since, he’d seen Armin a few times, the other taking coffees to go on lunch breaks. He assumed he was taking them for Eren, since more than a few times, he ordered a chocolate mocha. It was a shame he’d not seen the other, he’d asked Armin, but he’d given him a vague answer. He didn’t half want to know if the other was alright, the way he had taken off, it felt like something had happened in the shop, and he couldn’t for the life of him pinpoint what that event was. He hoped it wasn’t anything serious.

* * *

**_Eren_ **

"I need a name, otherwise I'll have to get creative, kid."  
"It's... It's Eren..."  
The nickname was jarring, a creator of both hope and despair within him simultaneously because it was so familiar, but not genuine. His thoughts went back to the woman who called herself Isabel, the pain of the blade as it picked his wings apart nerve by nerve, of his face pressed to a brick wall as he was forced to scream Levi’s name. The taste of blood in his mouth.

He didn’t hear whatever Armin said or any reply that was given to it, body responding on autopilot as he was led somewhere and dropped into an empty seat, his knees almost giving way under him as every step became harder, the shaking still just as bad as it had been by the counter and his hand refusing to let go of Armin’s.

The drink was his favourite, his default, the reason he’d got so attached to this place in the first place. And it had been made exactly the way he liked it, the coffee not too bitter, just enough chocolate to satisfy his sweet tooth.

But he wasn’t really paying attention despite how slowly he was drinking, so he completely missed the heart, his mind dominated by thoughts of being back in the basement that had done him so much damage both mentally and physically. The basement he’d blacked out in with the darkness pressing over him, only to wake up alone within completely covered in a new, thick layer of blood not his own, the walls and floors dripping with it, the two unfamiliar people who had been the source of his pain unrecognisable collections of shattered bone and torn skin that only barely still looked like they had once been human where they had slumped against the walls.  
Every so often he felt Armin give his hand another comforting squeeze in an effort to help him get through it, the blond wrapping one arm around him at some point, pressing a chaste kiss to his cheek in an effort to keep him grounded. To remind him that he was there because he could tell Eren’s thoughts weren’t in the room, that they were somewhere entirely darker.

He breathed a long sigh when he finished the drink, starting to get barely used to the shaking. The only thought getting him through the experience was that he wouldn’t ever have to set foot in the place again. He knew Levi wasn’t at risk of any harm with Erwin in here. He trusted Sasha to look out for him. For today he could tell himself that just coming back every so often and looking through the large window in the storefront, just seeing Levi stood behind the till but never having to speak to him, would be enough.  
His attention was caught by the cake (mostly by the cherries) and his body reacted on its own, the empty mug in his hand hitting the table with a clatter as he stood up.  
Every nerve in his body screamed out, the room lurching in front of his eyes as he pushed the chair back and bolted out of the shop completely unaware that Armin had called after him, one hand over his mouth because he knew for a fact that if he didn’t keep it there until he was far enough away from the situation that coffee was going to come straight back up. He couldn’t do it anymore. Couldn’t spend his life never able to forget, chasing hints, never able to say anything. Waiting for something that would probably never happen. There was no guarantee that Levi would ever recover short of putting him through the no doubt traumatic experience of triggering everything at once by making him aware of his wings, making him revisit the orphanage building still close off somewhere deep in the city’s suburbs. And seeing the cherries, having his thoughts flooded somewhere that wasn’t the apartment they’d shared, was the last straw for Eren. If he couldn’t get away from the memories in the outside world either there was just no point. The whole thing was going to break him, tear everything out of him slowly until there was nothing left. He could see it coming a mile away.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


He was running blindly, only just avoiding other people walking around, time seeming to stretch into one long tunnel of nothing as he only came to a stop when his feet gave out under him and he sank to his knees, gripping the railing in front of him, black paint chipping of the metal under his fingers. Somewhere between here and there night had fallen, but he didn’t notice that so much. He’d ended up making his way onto a mostly unpopulated bridge, his vision taken up by grey asphalt and red hot tears. He was in shock now, more or less, his mind completely detached as he slowly stood again on unsteady feet and caught sight of the rushing water below him. The thought dug at him, traitorous, the layers of guilt returning like a burning hot pressure on his back. His wings weren’t healed enough to take his weight right now. The only way he was ever going to forget about Levi was by throwing himself back into his mindless slew of reincarnations. By joining the other in his lack of memory about his Nephilim self, about all of this. By throwing himself off the bridge now, before his wings were healed enough to automatically slow his fall enough that it wouldn’t be fatal. Enough that the slap against the water’s surface wouldn’t snap his neck as he hit it face down.

Taking a long, shaky breath out he hooked one leg over the railing and pulled himself up, he kept his eyes fixed on the black, churning water below as fresh tears rolled down his face. He had to do it now, before Armin found him. Before his thoughts of Levi’s disapproval of his actions could catch him up. Right now his mind was full of the half-smile, the small moments of kindness and unadulterated love in those grey eyes instead, wanting those to be the last things he recalled before everything went dark. Forgetting it all had to be better than this.  
“I’m sorry.. for everything.” The words were small, swallowed completely by the roar of the water. He wasn’t sure who he was apologising to. His parents, for not getting back in time to save them. Those dead children, all the innocent people he’d stopped trying to save when he could have done. Armin, for all the times he’d tried to help him since everything went wrong. Levi, for not doing his job. For not returning home to wait for him to take off the collar still around his neck. The symbol of ownership he no longer deserved, weak, selfish, pathetic thing that he was. He just wanted out. He wanted it over with. The only thing he deserved now was to know nothing, to die.

“Eren! No!”

Armin had been searching for him since he ran without a word, frantically calling out an apology and that he’d try to explain later if Levi asked after Eren’s sudden departure – one which was painfully obvious given that there were perhaps only one or two other customers and the coffee shop was pretty much dead.

He took firm hold of Eren’s shoulders just as the brunette allowed himself to become dead weight and started to fall forwards, yanking him back onto the pavement. Not terribly co-ordinated and slightly too heavy for him to support fully, Eren ended up laid out on the concrete, eyes open to the starry sky reflected in them but unseeing and glassy.

Unable to control his outburst for once, Armin’s hand flew out as he straddled the other, the slap echoing across the bridge among the sounds of traffic, tears in the cornflower blue eyes as he looked down at Eren’s face. The blank green was hidden from him now, Eren’s slightly longer hair covering his face where it remained tilted to the side with the force of Armin’s slap as if Eren didn’t even have the willpower left to look at him anymore, either.  
“Eren Jaeger, that is enough!” he hissed, his heart clenching with sadness at the other’s pathetic state even though his fury was the only thing showing right now. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?! Do you want Levi to come home to an empty apartment?! He’d be ashamed of you right now!”  
Eren whimpered pathetically in response, eyes screwing tightly shut against fresh tears as he drew into himself as much as Armin’s body would allow, arms wrapping around him chest and legs tucking upwards a little.  
“I let you drink yourself to sleep, I let you put this off, but I won’t let you do this, Eren.” he continued, shaking the other’s shoulders with uncharacteristic force in an effort to snap him out of this broken state. “I’m not being the person to explain to Lance Corporal Levi that the man he loves killed himself while I stood by and watched. I will do anything for you, anything you ask, you know I will. But not that.”  
“Armin.. I’m sorry. That you wasted your time on me.”  
“Shut up and come home, idiot.” he continued, anger still not fully evaporated at the words but glad that Eren was sound enough to talk right now. “You’re lucky I’m not going to tell Hanji to have you put on a watch list for this.”  
“I.. alright..”

They did make it home, but the moment Eren was out for the count on the bed Armin went for the phone, having got Levi’s number from Sasha on the sly in return for a long list of the best restaurants in New York because the girl was a complete eccentric like that and Armin knew his way around a kitchen better than most so she trusted his opinion on food. He was going to have to give Levi some kind of short explanation about this to make sure that the same thing didn’t happen again because he knew exactly what had gone on in Eren’s mind to make him feel so trapped. There was no way to guarantee that he’d get there on time the next time Eren felt the urge to do something ridiculously stupid, after all. He was going to have to come up with something like an overseas boyfriend whose return he was waiting for, figuring that if he added the tiny lie into the insanely large truth about Eren suffering a big personal loss less than a month ago and having serious issues with guilt and attachment, Levi wouldn’t ask too much.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


It had been weeks, and Eren still hadn’t been able to persuade himself to try going back to the coffee shop again. Hadn’t been able to bring himself to talk to Levi again face to face. He had accepted the situation as it was, Armin stopping him the night he ran from the place being the wake-up call that he had severely needed to realise that he had a problem. That he couldn’t keep living the way he had.  
He doubted he could talk to Levi again now even if he wanted to thanks to what Armin had said. He could barely look at his reflection – because how could he have been so stupid? Of course, Levi would be angry at him for what he’d almost done. At this point, he didn’t deserve him. He’d tried to leave him because he was so weak. Armin had assured him he would never breathe a word of it, but that didn’t mean Eren wouldn’t know. How was he going to look Levi in the eye once he got his memories back?

Armin had continued to bring him chocolate mochas from the place occasionally, told him that it looked like Levi was missing him, that Erwin was no longer in the shop every day, which made him worried because it meant Levi had less protection, but Eren hadn’t even so much as walked down that street.

So he couldn’t fathom why he was doing so tonight, except that his intuition was telling him to, something possessive and protective growling in his chest all day whenever he thought about Levi. He’d been perched on a roof, following Levi home after watching him lock up for the night, full hunting gear on, when he recognised a flash of ginger hair amid a plume of black smoke and saw a petite female figure jitter into existence in an alleyway directly in the path of the dark-haired male, dead to the world with his headphones in.  
 _Petra_.

An inhuman growl left his throat as he saw her move, and he leapt into the air, colliding with her body as she reappeared directly behind Levi, reaching out for his shoulder. He sent her crashing back into the alleyway she’d been hiding in and her fall being caught by an industrial-sized waste bin, the bang being what had been loud enough to make Levi turn – although Eren saw nothing of it himself because as soon as she slumped down to the alley floor, he was on her.

One hand on either side of her delicate throat, he pressed both thumbs into the soft flesh at the centre hard enough to choke her, hands leaving red marks in her pale skin as he crushed her windpipe slowly. Hoisted in the air, she pulled at his hands, feet kicking the metal bin in a vain effort to find purchase. His temples started to sting furiously as he smirked at her shocked expression, green eyes completely scarlet again as his black wings unfurled behind him, completely filling her field of vision, feathers fanned out in irritation like some form of twisted halo around his head.

“I warned you. You stay away from him or I’ll kill you."  
Then he dropped her, and she landed on the floor, coughing. If it hadn’t been for him taking her completely by surprise the fight probably would have lasted longer, but now she’d seen his eyes, the red irises and black slits, she almost didn’t want to risk it. She hadn’t expected the teenager she’d watched slowly fall apart since they took Levi from him to have a full-blooded demon nestled in his consciousness, and she couldn’t fight that. Not alone.  
She knew what he was, knew he was the reason that Isabel and Farlan hadn’t returned. And now she knew why. She should have never written him off – in fact, he could be entirely central to their plan to get Levi back if she played this right. She just had to get him to trust her more than his superiors, somehow, which probably wasn’t going to be that hard given that his superior was Erwin as far as she knew. Erwin had enough of other people’s blood on his hands to drown in, and that was before he became a Commander.

“We could have taken him long before now. We found him almost before your little friend did,” she replied, dusting herself off as she got to her feet. “We weren’t considered ‘elite’ for nothing, Eren Jaeger.”  
“You know my name. Well done.” he snarked, completely unimpressed. “Now listen good. I don’t care how many of you insects there are.” His voice was darker now, if that was even possible, gaze deadly cold. “Touch him again and I’ll kill you all. Every last one of you.”

“Oh, we’re not going to kill him, Eren,” she replied silkily, stepping forward in a direct challenge. “We’re going to take him away from you. He’s going to come home, to his real family. His amnesia wasn’t an accident.”

She found herself punched in the gut for that, brought to her knees as she coughed again but not given a chance to recover as she felt more than saw Eren’s demonic aura spill from his body in painful waves. It was slightly meted out by her own as it tried to beat against her, but only slightly, given that she wasn’t as powerful due to only being a half-breed.  
“Try. I’ll do to you what I did to.. what was her name? Isabel? I believe she tried to run to you for help before I pulled her heart out of her chest and left it on the basement floor.”  
“You’re not.. Eren..” Petra gasped, the words a rhetorical question. This was the feral thing that had scared the daylight out of her as it crawled up the staircase covered in blood, not the panicking, thrashing boy ‘Eren’ she had left behind in the entrance hall as she took Levi away. She’d heard Isabel die in gruesome detail over that connection even if Levi had been too out of it to comprehend the sounds after she broke his wing, and the girl had been one of her best friends. This was the monster that had done that, and it was obvious it was an action that he didn’t regret. An action that he would repeat, given the excuse.  
“I assure you, I am, even if I don’t remember all of this in the morning.” Eren shrugged, red eyes glinting with sadism before deepening to the deadly anger again. “I am what happens if you don’t stop, and this is your only warning. Now run, before I do to you what you did to him and leave you somewhere public to set an example.”  
She had no intention of staying after that. She needed to get back to the others and regroup, re-plan. And this would probably be her only opportunity to escape unharmed. He certainly didn’t look like he was screwing around with her.  
“We’ll be back.”

Then she was gone in a plume of smoke, seeming to disappear through the floor and leaving Eren stood alone in the alleyway.  
“Nah, not for a while,” he commented softly to the empty air, thoroughly amused by the fear and revulsion he’d seen in her eyes when he mentioned Isabel. There would probably be a lot of minor lackeys sent before Petra risked any of the big players coming in person again, and he could handle them without needing it to come to this. A quick glance up and down the street informed him that Levi had moved on, but he kept up the following at a distance all the way to the man’s apartment, not turning back towards his own home until Levi was locked inside.

Armin was woken by the sound of sheets rustling, a warm body tucking itself into the side of his. He blinked sleepily, gaze blurry as he felt a strong, familiar arm loop around his waist and a face bury into the back of his neck and inhale smoothly before the breathing rate began to even out. It was times like this that he could fool himself into thinking they were actually both on the same page in terms of what they wanted. That Eren didn’t just want to be best friends. As it was, he was becoming increasingly bitter about Eren's attachment to Levi. He'd never seen Eren broken by anything before this, and he never wanted anyone to hurt Eren to this point again. He didn't care if the hurt was intentional or not, Eren's relationship with the Lance Corporal had not been healthy, and he wouldn't let it happen again if he could help it. If he could convince Eren that he could make him happy, that he didn't need to wait for Levi at all, didn't have to spend his every waking moment pining over and mourning someone who would never recover and had never been good for him.. well, it was just better for all concerned.  
“Eren? Where did you go?”  
“Just out hunting.” came the reply, the familiar dark tone sending a bolt of fear down his spine as he remembered where he’d heard it last. Remembered seeing Eren dripping with blood, covering Levi frantically from their view as if they were any sort of threat.  
“Go to sleep, Armin.”  
And suddenly, sleep seemed like a brilliant idea, his eyes overwhelmingly heavy and the bed he had felt so guilty to occupy previously a lot warmer and more comfortable with Eren in it by his side, even as his senses seemed to flare with distress at the demonic aura radiating through the room. But it was possible that he was just imagining that – he was ridiculously tired, after all, and Eren had told him before he left that he was going hunting alone. He just didn’t tell him where or when he’d be back, nothing about who the job was from.  
“Alright.”

The next three weeks passed much the same way, Eren leaving to go hunting at night but insisting that he was alright going alone. He never felt the demonic aura again, so he brushed that off as his imagination, but he instantly became suspicious when Hanji mentioned that no-one at HQ had heard anything of Eren at all since he was discharged from the Nephilim controlled floor of the hospital they’d recovered at.

While awake, it seemed that Eren was on the way to recovering, still quiet and subdued but nowhere near as bad as he had been the first time they visited the coffee shop. And he’d started playing the guitar since Armin had come home with an acoustic, persuaded him that learning an instrument might help with the depression in some way given that it was an activity he could do to help calm himself that came with absolutely no memories attached. It seemed to work, Eren having taken to it like a duck to water.

Eren was even surprised by himself – given that he’d taken to playing so much that it came to the point where he’d made a habit of busking outside across the road from the coffee shop, never going in but still able to see Levi inside, always conveniently gone when the amnesiac Nephilim was taking a break so that they would never run the risk of having to talk again, in case it set him back to where he was the night he made the stupid mistake of coming to a stop on that bridge and letting his endless downwardly spiralling thoughts overwhelm him.

He barely remembered the meeting with Petra, but he didn’t question what he’d heard, and after that night he firmly threw aside the thought of taking on any more jobs from Erwin. He was the one who forced him to stay separate from Levi whether it tore them both up inside or not, and he could forget Eren doing anything for him in return for that.

Instead, he spent his nights guarding the coffee shop as Levi worked more and more lates, killing any demon or half-breed that so much as got within the same city block as either the café or Levi’s apartment but always ensuring that he remained out of sight. He couldn’t explain away the wings, or the weapons under his coat on the occasions that he wore his full gear. He spent his days in much the same way, the busking allowing him to keep an eye on the foot traffic of the coffee shop to check that no-one under any sort of demonic influence was trying to get a look at who worked there.

Armin would occasionally come by with food for him or to keep him company for a while, but other than that he was quite happy to sit alone and sing without really caring about whether he got any money for it or not, the songs all familiar and no longer painful because the person who had introduced him to most of them was Levi. They didn’t hurt so much to remember if it was a good memory like being calmed after a nightmare by the rare sound of Levi singing, not now it had been almost a month since the reality of Levi’s amnesia actually hit him. Since he’d gotten over the worst of it.


	3. Chapter 3

3 weeks went by in this fashion, getting even comfier in the life he lived. He was better, much better now than he had been, though there were still times where he zoned out, or did something he shouldn’t have done, then doubting himself because his brain had said he should. There had been an incident with his cup, when out with Erwin, and it made him frown deeply whenever he thought about it.

_ ”Strange way to hold your cup.” He looked to himself, having been in the process of bringing the cup to his lips to take a drink, his fingers holding under the rim of the cup. He placed it down without taking a drink, readjusting his grip so he was holding the handle rather daintily, a frowning tugging at his forehead, the action feeling incredibly foreign. He went straight back to holding it how he normally did, Levi hadn’t even thought anything of it.   
_ _ “It’s weird holding it the other way. Don’t ask me why. If it bothers you, don’t watch me drink.”   
_ _ “Can’t help it, Levi, you know that.” He smirked behind the china, and took a sip, placing it back down and going back to reading his book.  _

It was little things like that, that made him physically stop and think hard on an action, like now, standing behind the counter, reading his book as he leant forwards, waiting for a customer to want something, since the shop was fine and there were only a handful of people in, it being 6:30 PM. It was like a part of his memory was still blocked behind a door he didn’t have the key to. He knew something wasn't there, because he still couldn’t remember how he met anyone he knew that was apparently in his life before the crash, which he still couldn't remember. The only one he vaguely had an idea about was Erwin. He felt like he’d met him at a time of great need, and that he helped him find the way back to normal and happy, but that was about it, other than Hanji’s face being incredibly familiar. 

His tattoo was another one that made him think. Levi almost hadn’t noticed the first time he’d showered, but passing the full-length mirror in the bathroom had caused him to stop as he saw his shoulder, thinking he’d left bubbles on himself, only to find that it was an intricate and highly impressive white tattoo of a set of wings. The ink went across his shoulder blades and down both arms. He’d asked Erwin when he’d got it, and the man had said it was before he knew him. He couldn’t remember at all, and no-one else seemed to know either when he asked.

“Levi, would you be able to nip out for me?”  
“What for?” He turned the page slowly, and once he did, he looked around to Connie to the side of him in the doorway to the back as he spoke.  
“We’ve run out of milk and the delivery isn’t here. I’ll man the fort, you look bored anyway.”  
“Sure,” he spoke as he placed his bookmark in to the page he was on and snapped the hardback closed, placing it near the register and heading to grab his jacket, slipping it on slowly, taking a moment to adjust the collar after zipping it so it fell right around his scarf, it being somewhat cold outside this evening, or so Connie had told him at least. He grabbed the money he needed from said male on his way out, the other giving a somewhat raised eyebrow look at his dress sense. 

Even without his memories, he was rather stylish. Erwin had planted the seed and his body had gone on muscle memory. He tucked the money into his jeans pocket as he crossed the shop, leaving his bag behind, and pushing the door open, the cold air hitting him, it sent a slight shiver through him as he closed the door behind him, grey eyes glancing around the place before he set off walking towards the shop a few blocks out. 

He paused though, seeing a figure he knew, sat crossed-legged on the floor, a guitar in hands. He slowly came to a stop, the melody meeting his ears and he felt a smile pulling across his lips, his voice matched the song and he found it hard to look away, the other not looking around, his eyes fixed upon the fretboard as his fingers moved skillfully across the strings. The shop would be closing soon, so he couldn’t stop, choosing to on his way back instead.

He was quick, quicker than he wouldn’t have been if he hadn’t have seen Eren sat playing outside the shop. He grabbed everything he needed, Connie giving him the right amount to grab one of each type of milk, getting a slightly more durable bag at the checkout so the four cartons didn’t break through the bag on his way back. He was soon in sight of Eren again, the man having changed the song and wasn’t singing now, just playing with his eyes closed, but he didn’t recognize the song, but by the time he got close enough to speak, Eren was just finishing up the song. “I don’t have change on me, but you should stop by, your next drink is on me.” He smiled a half-smile as he saw Eren open his eyes and look to him, seeing the shock in his eyes. 

He watched, as Eren packed away the guitar, wondering if his presence had caused him to stop playing for a reason other than taking him up on his offer. "Alright. No time like the present." He honestly hadn’t expected his offer to be taken that quickly, and when Eren stood before him, waiting for him to lead the way, he had to swallow thickly and nod.  
“Yeah, sure. Come on…” He turned on his heel and headed back towards the shop, it nearing 7, Connie would have to go soon. He held the door open for the other and said male was at the register, seeing the pair of them and dropping the tray he was holding, a crash sounded as the mugs went flying to the floor. He was quick to rush over, Connie still looking at Eren, eyes sliding to Levi, a worried look crossing his face. “Are you alright?”   
“Yeah... just... I tripped…”   
“Over what? Air?” Connie went to clean up, Levi taking the dustpan and brush out of this hand, placing it on the counter. “I’ll do it, you’re leaving soon.”  
“Are you sure?”  
“Yes of course. Let me take these off.” He vanished, leaving Eren with Connie as he saw Eren slide into a stool at the counter. He was quick to take off his jacket, leaving him short sleeved as he didn't put his work one back on, only his apron back in place, his scarf on top of his jacket. He checked his phone quickly, seeing a message from Erwin saying he couldn't pick him up after work. He messaged back to tell him he'd walk. The phone was soon back into his bag, and he walked down the stairs, appearing behind the counter, seeing Connie having taken care of the ceramic anyway. 

"It was my fault, deal with it." Levi gave him a somewhat stern look, before checking the floor visually to see if he'd missed any, thankfully he hadn't. "I'm going. Erwin said you could lock up early if it died down enough before 10."  
"Ok, get home safe." He was out of sight then, Levi turning to face Eren, "what'll it be?"

Levi didn't get a response right away, getting a little impatient as he waited for Eren to answer him. Concern started to cover his face, as the other looked somewhat distressed. "I... sorry... I was just... Surprise me?" He started to turn, only to stop as Eren spoke again. "You don't mind putting a double shot of something in it for me, do you?" He took the ID from him, looking it over and seeing he was only 21, but legal nonetheless. "Work's been kind of hard this week..." He handed it back, sliding it across the counter before nodding.  
"I'll see what I can do." He nodded a little, grabbing a large mug and going about making the drink, it not being anything off the menu. When someone said to surprise them with the drink, he made sure to do just that. He wrote Eren's name on the mug, music notes on either side of it as he waited for the machine to kick in and finish, soon going about making a drink for him. 

He was soon sliding it across the counter, on a small plate with a spoon, napkin underneath. "I don't know why, but you seem like you should have a sweet tooth," he looked around the shop, only seeing a few people nestled in nooks and on a couple on the normal chairs. "Hope that's alright for you," he looked back to Eren, leaning back against the counter behind him, folding his arms loosely. He glanced to the chocolatey drink, then to the people behind Eren as they got up to leave. "I'll be back, I need to sort that out," he took a tray with him, and things to wipe down the table. Honestly, this shop had never been so clean until he'd started working here.

As Eren moved to take his guitar in one of the nooks, he watched silently from where he was cleaning a table not far away, the other people in the shop looking at him as he began to play, thankful no one complained. After 20 minutes it was just himself and Eren, a new song filtering to his ears as he cleaned one of the tables on the other side of the coffee shop. It made him stop, halfway through the movement of wiping the tabletop with the wet cloth in his hand. It hit him full force from the start, a memory of something he couldn't quite recall as the tune the guitar was giving was joined by soft lyrics. It was his own voice, singing the song Eren was softly playing on the other side of the room, it having increased in volume now no one was in the room with them. He closed his eyes, still frozen in place, hand increasing its hold on the cloth as he did so, bubbles coming out of it from the suds still being held within the cloth. 

_ "Well you only need the light when it's burning low."  _

He was in bed, a warm weight of a familiar but unrecognizable body, curled against him seeking comfort from a bad dream. His arms wrapped protectively around them to ward off the nightmare.

_"Staring at the bottom of your glass, hoping one day you'll make a dream last."_

He flinched, standing up straight as the images burned the back of his retinas, hand moving to cover his eyes. He took a deep breath, not caring if he currently looked insane as he shook his head once from side to side. 

_"Staring at the ceiling in the dark, same old empty feeling in your heart. 'Cause love comes slow and it goes so fast."_

He blinked his eyes, the same scene, different clothes, his voice driving through his mind as Eren reached a place in his mind he didn't know he had. His heart clenched and he fell forwards to the table, his weight resting on his arms. His hands were against the edge of the table as the words didn't let up, tears soon clinging to his lashes, anger bubbling up within him as he recalled something he couldn't quite remember. 

_"And you let her go...”_

The words with no guitar pushed the anger away, and he soon heard the sound of the instrument being put down quickly, and he swallowed thickly, hands soon finding his shoulders and pushing him so he was standing straight and not leaning against the table, both hands gripping it like it was his anchor to life. "Levi??" The voice was soft, and he couldn’t quite register the tone as he looked into eyes that made him calm down. That made him try and think, the colour fogging his thoughts. Suddenly the memory flashed before his eyes, the teens face mingling with them and he shook his head, dry hand coming to grab Eren's forearm gently. 

"I'm sorry. I'm fine. I don't know what happened." He knew exactly what had happened, in a way, just not quite sure  _ what _ he'd been recalling. It had felt more like home than he'd felt since waking up in that hospital bed. "I've got to finish this... before... I walk home..." He was clearly struggling, his mind preoccupied as he tried to recall what he'd seen with a more clear eye, not being able to as he looked up slightly into Eren's eyes, and not moving in the slightest to do what he just said he needed to do.

As arms trailed down his bare arms, he felt them leave a hot trail, making his skin tingle. "I'll do it, you rest up for a minute. I know what it's like to feel like… that." He didn’t question it, allowing himself to be guided to a chair he hadn’t placed upon the tables yet. He couldn’t get over himself, leaning forwards onto his elbows on the table, eyes closed as he linked his hands behind his neck, swallowing again, trying to breathe, and trying to recall what he’d caught a glimpse off. He just couldn’t re-catch it no matter how hard he tried, couldn’t make sense of the blurry figure that he’d been singing too. It irritated him that he couldn’t see them. He relaxed his posture there, folding his arms against the tabletop, still leaning, but his eyes open, looking to find Eren had taken off his hooded jacket. 

Grey eyes were quick to zone in on the tattoo across the teens back, a frown set along his forehead. It looked like his own, the feathers of which reached across his shoulders and down his arms towards his elbows. He made him roll his shoulders, it looked like he was looking at his own, but in black. His own seemed to have more feathers on the arms, but other than that, it looked almost identical. He wanted to ask, but Eren had moved away, going to pack up his guitar. He stood, placing the chair onto the table upside down carefully, and heading over to the counter, taking his apron off as he did so, walking around and placing it on the countertop next to the register. He locked everything away of value so the till couldn’t be broken in to. "Ready when you are." He looked around, hearing the voice, wondering why Eren was saying he was ready to go. "I'll walk back with you."  
“You don’t have to do that, I don’t live far. I can get myself home.”  
“I want to.” He was an adult, he could walk himself… though didn’t want to pass up the chance to find out if he was going to be seeing Eren again in the shop. That and if there were two of them, maybe he wouldn’t feel like he was being followed for a change.   
“I’ll grab my things.” He was quick to retrieve all this belonging, coming back out with his jacket on, and done up, his scarf just visible behind the collar. His bag was hanging from his shoulder, phone in hand, looking at the messages there from Erwin, several along the lines of ‘I’m picking you up at 10,’ too bad it was 9 and he was going now. He messaged back saying it wasn’t necessary as he grabbed his apron, telling the other he wasn’t walking home alone and he’d see him in the morning if he wanted to give him a ride on his way to his own job. The apron was pushed into his bag as he retrieved his keys, his work ones to lock up now permanently on the key ring. 

They were soon on their way, Levi giving them some space between them, feeling rather awkward after what had happened inside. He wanted nothing more than to ask about the tattoo across Eren’s back, not knowing how to get on to the topic… “Thanks, for this.”   
“It’s no problem.”   
“Will you be able to get home alright? It’s late, after all.”   
“I’ll be able to get home fine.” Levi nodded a little, turning a corner, Eren going with him, almost turning before he had. And he didn’t miss it. He filed it to the back of his mind, thinking nothing more on it as he took a deep breath.

“Can I ask you a question?” He got a small noise which he took as a yes, “Is there… Is there a story behind the tattoo? I was… I can’t remember how I got mine… Yours looks like mine. But black.” His eyes stayed in front as they crossed a road, then looked to the other as they got to the other side, wondering if he was going to ask why he didn’t remember getting a tattoo, though he’d tell him if he asked, he’d be honest, though not able to give much information since he didn’t rightly know himself what had happened. He’d never asked who caused the crash.  
“Got it when my parents died." he swallowed, trying not to stop, one hand tightening on the bag straps across his shoulder that he was holding onto. "I couldn't protect them... so... I got the wings done.” Levi looked in front of him, mulling over what Eren had told him. Maybe he had lost someone important to him? He hoped he hadn't, hoped they were still in his life.

"I... Was in a car accident. I don't remember it." He fell silent for a few moments there, pushing his hands into his pockets snugly. "My memory is pretty much shot. I don't remember anything bar the last two months. Frustrating, beyond reason." He smiled sadly to himself, looking up slightly as they hit the part of his journey home where the lights no longer lit the sidewalk between the high buildings on either side. "Everyone's extremely nice about it though. Makes it worse sometimes, if I'm honest. Can I tell you something if you promise not to make a big deal about it?"  
"Sure..."  
"When you walked into the coffee shop, that first time with Armin, I could have sworn I knew you. The more I thought about it the more it seemed impossible. I don't feel like my brain would have let me forget your eyes. It's why I started..." He went quiet with a soft laugh passing his lips. "Sounds girly as fuck, sorry. Don't think I'd ever be drunk enough for this moment."  
"Your memories might be coming back, for all you know." He missed the joke, his mind thinking as he fished his keys out of his bag. "Well... that's you." Eren had stopped before he had. "I guess?" He turned around, startling slightly as Eren stood so close to him, breath catching in his throat.  
"I... Yeah..." How did Eren know where he lived? Or was he reading into that far too much? Probably.   
"Goodnight, Levi. Thanks for the coffee." He saw the hasty wave, voice quiet as he fiddled with the keys in his hands, knowing full well the other wouldn't hear him.   
"Night, Eren, thanks..." He watched him out of sight, looking at his hands, before looking to the door, pulling his wallet out and getting the key card and swiping the d  
or to let himself in. 

He headed upstairs, unlocking his door and heading inside slowly, dropping his things and heading to his bedroom, jacket ending up on the back of the chair on his way. Levi stripped his shirt, folding it on to a chair in the corner of his bedroom, jeans going with them, DCs in front of the chair neatly. He got a shower, taking his time as his mind wandered to what Eren said about his memories already starting to come back, and it wasn’t until he was lying awake in bed at 11 PM, unable to sleep that he thought of the images that had come to him in the coffee shop. 

Had they been memories? How could he even hope to distinguish his thoughts? How could he tell what was memory and what was fiction, a fantasy his brain came up with because the guy that walked him home was cute enough to occupy his thoughts other than what coffee the other wanted. 

He tossed and turned for a few hours, nightmare waking him up at 1 AM, not being able to fall back asleep fast, staring at his ceiling as he chased sleep, it happening around 2 in the morning, only to be woken up by his screaming around 4 AM thanks to another bad dream full of blood and screaming and glass.

  
  
  
  


His night hadn't gone well, he'd gotten next to no restful sleep and was rather grateful that he was on early so he could come home and collapse, happy for the day off that he had the next day. He ate his breakfast slowly, Erwin showing up halfway through. "You don't even know him Levi, he could have been anyone."  
"You know him."  
"Just because he works at my company, doesn't mean I know him. We don't run background checks."  
"I got home, didn't I? I'm fine Erwin, honestly." Arms snaked around his shoulders, hugging him from behind, Erwin's hands making sure not to touch bare flesh.   
"I just worry. I can't help it, Levi, not after what happened."  
"I know I'm sorry," he leant back slightly, "he just... I don't know... He seems  _ familiar _ . I can't explain it." Erwin paused where he was, not speaking for a second and Levi reached for his cup of tea. He let go, hands sliding over his shoulders, rolling them a fraction. The action was clearly stopped just after he started it.   


"This really is an impressive tattoo." Quick subject change, shame it made him think about Eren, really.  
"Just a shame I can't remember why or when I got it."  
"Sure it will come back to you. Come on, we've both got work." 

It didn't take him long to get ready, and in no time at all in a car to get to work. Erwin dropped him off, saying he'd be by at lunch. He nodded, getting out of the car, shutting the door and heading inside quickly into the warmth, his jacket over his arm as he hadn’t needed to put it on given Erwin drove him. Connie greeted him happily, smiling as Levi nodded in response. "Late night?"  
"Rough night. I didn't sleep well." He walked past quickly, going to clock in and deposit his things where he normally did, soon back and at Connie’s side. 

The day passed slowly, they weren’t all that busy for a Wednesday, and the only highlight was seeing Eren outside the window and wanting nothing more than to go and thank him for walking him home yesterday. He was watching him play, just before lunchtime, leaning against the counter next to the register, barely noticing Armin as he cleared his throat. "Can I grab a couple of drinks?"  
"Of course, my apologies. What can I get you?"  
"Cinnamon latte and a chocolate mocha, please."   
"Coming right up." He went about making them, quick to make both, handing them over and taking the cash, handing him the change. 

"Thanks, sure he'll love my little gesture. He hasn't seen me yet."  
"I'm sure he will."  
"I'll go surprise him. Warm him up a little." Levi frowned at the look he was given as Armin left the building, watching him walk across to Eren and seeing the slight touches as the other stopped playing, the casual invasion of his personal space, entirely comfortable with it. Did he just get told to back off? The look Armin gave him through the window definitely said yes in his mind, a smirk that had always been Levi appearing in his lips as he turned away from the counter. 

Around 15 minutes later, Erwin happily came in and told Levi it was lunchtime, and as good as the coffee was here, they were going out. He grabbed his jacket and led the way out the door, Erwin incredibly close, hand loosely guiding him past Eren and Armin as he urged him in the direction he needed him to go, occupying him enough that he didn't even look Eren's way. To the onlooker, they looked incredibly close, touching just enough that it looked convincing, and that's just how Erwin wanted it portrayed. He was as manipulative, if not more, than Armin, and that didn't bode well for either Levi nor Eren. 

Erwin took him for a rather Oriental lunch, Levi thoroughly enjoying a different lunch for a change as he looked over the menu, soon having a Chinese chicken salad in front of him, snapping chopsticks off to start eating once Erwin’s was placed in front of the other as well. “You seem tired, is everything alright?”  
“Yes, well, I didn't sleep well last night.”   
“Oh?” Erwin snapped his own chopsticks off, having a pork stir fry dish with extra sticky rice sat in the large bowl.   
“Bad dreams.” Erwin eyes him as he rather expertly stabbed his chopsticks into the bowl, bringing out chicken and a piece of tofu on the end, eating it with a small, quiet moan of enjoyment.  
“Again? I thought they’d stopped.”   
“I did too…”   
“Do you know what happened to bring them back?” He looked up from his food, seeing Erwin looking to his own as he fished in his bowl for some of the meat hidden away at the bottom.   
“I’m not sure, could have been anything.”  _ ‘Or Eren,’ _ Erwin thought as he ate some of the beautifully cooked food before him. “I suppose it’s a good thing, maybe I’m remembering something. My memory is still completely blank.”   
“Well, it does sound like a crash.” Their eyes met and Levi frowned,  
“You never did tell me what happened…”   
“What is there to tell? You crashed, that was all that happened.”  
“Was there anyone else involved? I don’t even know who caused it.”  
“Well it wasn’t you, don’t think for a second you caused it.” Levi sighed, rather annoyed at the vague response, and then carried on eating as Erwin continued. “There was a fair bit of road damage, and since it was dark, you must not have noticed it. You wrapped your car around a lampost.”   
“So it was just me?” Erwin nodded, eating more of his food before speaking. 

“Hanji has been asking about you. You two were close before the crash. She wants to meet up at some point.”  
“She hasn’t called me…”   
“She didn’t want to bother you too much since she knows you’re busy with work right now.”   
“I’m free all weekend…”  
“Then I’ll get her to call you.” Erwin eyes Levi slightly as he leant forwards onto the table and ate his salad rather slowly, wishing to hell and back Eren hadn’t interfered, that he’d stayed back like the order he gave clearly stated. He didn’t want Levi’s mind breaking under the pressure. Clearly, the man had remembered something from their past and he just didn’t know what, but if it was making him act like this and allow his brain to bring back the nightmares, he really wasn’t having any of it. He’d rather him be healthy and have no memories right now, than a heap on the floor and unable to function with every memory flooding back. If he was going to get them back, it was going to be a slow process if he had his way.

Once they were finished, they headed back, walking closely side by side, Levi noticing that Eren was no longer playing out front as Erwin wished him goodbye at the door, telling him to get some rest when he got home, Levi agreeing without hesitation, feeling how he was almost falling asleep. “Welcome back!” Levi smiled towards Connie, who was rather happy about something, then he saw Sasha walk out of the back.  


“Levi! Where’ve you been?”   
“Went out for lunch with Erwin.” He’d managed to make it to the counter, taking off his jacket as Sasha beamed at him.   
“Oooooh! Where’d you go!?”  
“That new oriental place across the block.”  
“Oh god, was it good? How did the food taste??”  
“It was fine… Sasha you’d love it, go on your day off.”  
“We should  _ all _ go somewhere! That would be amazing.” He almost rolled his eyes,  _ almost _ , but nodded instead, heading to put his jacket away upstairs.

The day continued on slower after that, Erwin coming back with his laptop to sit and work in one of the corner nooks, Levi keeping him supplied with coffee throughout the afternoon. Though come 4 PM, his eyes having not seen Eren outside again for the remainder of the afternoon, his attention was pulled from the book he was reading behind the counter, sat atop a stool with his legs crossed, back against the wall next to the register. Armin was approaching him, not looking all too pleased, “I need 2 caramel lattes to go.”   
“Sure.” He didn’t enquire anything, treating him as a normal customer, foregoing writing on the cup as there wasn’t anyone before or after Armin, though the shop had a fair number of people within its walls.

“What happened yesterday?” Levi looked around from putting caramel sauce over the foam on top of one of the drinks, a frown on his features.   
“Excuse me?”   
“With Eren, what happened?"  
“I don’t think it’s any of your business.” Levi’s tone caused Erwin to look up from where he was sitting with his laptop, already having looked up and started listening as Armin entered the shop, but looking back to his laptop. The tone caused him to think of the Lance Corporal, and it was a good piece of audio to his ears, he had to admit.   
“I think it is. Whatever happened caused him to go straight for a bottle again, I got him off the drink and you’ve sent him straight back to it.” Levi capped the drinks off, having been keeping on going as Armin spoke to him, and almost raising his voice above normal speech. “So don’t you  _ dare  _ tell me it’s not my business.”   
“Look, he was the one that offered to walk  _ me _ home, alright, I didn’t ask him for anything. Nothing happened bar him walking me to my front door.”  
“You’re lying to me.” Levi had to pull all his strength not to slam the to-go coffee cups on to the counter. That annoyed him, the words hitting a nerve.   
“I’m not lying. Go ask him if you don’t believe me.”  
“I did, he wouldn’t tell me.”

“Probably because there is  _ nothing _ to tell.” His voice was like a whip, his hands clenched around the edge of the counter in front of him, the stare he levelled Armin with making the teen take a step back on instinct. Just because he wasn’t the leader he used to be right now, didn’t mean it wasn’t still there, buried until called upon, part of the muscle memory he just  _ couldn’t _ forget. “Now either get out of this coffee shop or pay and leave anyway.” He caught Erwin in the corner of his vision, and heard Connie and Sasha behind him. He’d not raised his voice once, but the commanding tone colouring his words had stopped all four of them, Armin himself had become frozen, looking like a deer caught in headlights at the sudden change, thinking he’d catch Levi out and end up intimidating him more than anything. “Did I stutter, brat? Make up your damn mind already.” Armin frisked himself quickly, searching for money, notes and coins soon being thrown on to the counter, the drinks snatched up into his hands. As he was turning away, Levi spoke again. “Don’t consider your ‘back off’ speech from earlier acknowledged either. You need to do better than that.” He watched Armin leave, turning to head straight into the back, pushing gently past Sasha to try and calm himself down, not seeing Erwin dash off after the smaller blond as the door shut behind him.

The door to the lounge in which they kept their things and had their breaks slammed shut and he felt like screaming, pacing around before falling onto the couch next to his bag, head in his hands. He couldn’t understand where the anger was coming from. Surely this much anger couldn’t come from Armin effectively telling him to back off yesterday, and now interrogating him because of something happening between them last night? He couldn’t understand it.

He was on his way home an hour later, refusing the lift home that was offered, wanting to clear his head in the fresh air. He couldn’t help but still feel angry, sitting in the break room for 20 minutes hadn’t helped in the slightest. 

What made him worse was the fact that he couldn’t quite recall  _ why  _ he was angry. Why should he be angry at was essentially a stranger? And then even angrier because it was over someone  _ he also didn’t know _ . His music was blaring in his ears, his audio senses dead to everything but the headphones dangling to his back pocket. He heard and saw nothing until he was getting out his wallet to get his keycard out to swipe into the building. His eyes widened, and he pulled his earphones out as quick as he could, hitting the button on the right one to pause the music, the ear parts being pushed into the front pocket of his jeans. He was over to the figure as quick as his legs could carry him. He ended up falling to one knee as Eren fell sideways, catching him carefully and guiding him on to his back against his thigh. 

“What the hell happened?!”  
“Nothin’, I’m fine…”   
“You’re anything but  _ fine, _ Eren. We need to call someone.”  
“No… No calls… just no….”  
“Then you’re going to have to get up and come inside, I can’t let you walk away like this.” Eren didn’t respond for a moment but soon nodded enough that Levi helped hoist him up, putting one of the other's arms around his shoulder, and his own around his waist. He held him firmly as they headed to his door, swiping his card and pushing everything into his bag and retrieving his keys as they headed through the door and towards the elevator, heading in and leaning against the back with Eren. Levi looked over his torso, the blood there giving him concern, as was his neck. The ding signalled they needed to move, urging Eren out with him and headed to his door, unlocking it and heading in, leaving the door open as he helped Eren into one of the chairs in the lounge. He went back, closed the door and locked it, taking his bag and jacket off himself, his phone and headphones on to the polished surface of the table as he passed it on the way to the bathroom.

First aid kit in hand he headed back to Eren, sitting on the arm of the chair and turning enough so he could see the other as he flipped the lid on the green box in his hands. “I’m not even going to ask what happened, because I don’t think I’ll like the answer that you give me.” He pulled out several wipes, ripping a few open after putting on purple gloves to shield his hands from the blood covering Eren’s skin. He began to wipe, being rather meticulous and trying not to hurt Eren as he wiped away the blood on the others jaw.

He smiled a fraction, eyes trained on the cut on the others jaw still, making sure there was no debris in the small wound, the wipe and such on the small table next on the other side of the chair, having to lean slightly to throw it that way on to a magazine under the small light. He had small strips of tape in his hands then. He pressed one end of the tape to Eren’s jaw, feeling one of Eren’s hands ball up into the bottom of his shirt and not questioning it. He pulled gently, pressing the other end to above the cut, doing the same again.

"Thank you..."  
“You’re welcome.” He put three pieces of tape, trying to hold the skin together that way. He then took another packet, ripping it open and pulled the wipe concealed inside the foil, starting to wipe at the other's neck, trying his best to avoid the collar after wiping it free of blood. “What’s with the collar anyway? Don’t get me wrong, it's a good look, but you don’t seem like the type to put it on yourself.”  
"There's someone important I'm waiting for, he was the person who got it for me." He almost stopped what he was doing as he saw the look Eren got upon answering, but continued his ministrations, letting him finish. "He said he'd take it off himself once he came home, so till then I'm not supposed to do it for him."  
“I’m sure he’ll be pleased that you’ve listened and not removed it. I know I would be.” He smiled, a genuine smile as he looked to Eren’s chest. “I hope you aren’t waiting for long.” He shifted there, though still sitting on the arm of the chair, his leg having found its way up to rest on the one on Eren’s other side, to brace himself and stop him falling off the arm he was perched on. “Umm…” He cleared his throat, swallowing shortly after. “Are you hurt anywhere else? I can take a look unless you want your friend to do that too…” 

Clearly, after what Eren had just said, Armin wasn’t his boyfriend after all. If he were, he wouldn’t still be wearing the collar anymore. Armin would have removed it by now. He wondered who he was waiting for, and where they’d gone, and what had happened for them to leave behind the piece of leather wrapped around the man's neck. It must have been something jarring, as he’d noticed the increase in grip on his shirt, pulling him slightly, hence his leg having moved, as much as he could see himself straddling the male's legs, he didn’t want to end up in that position after cleaning a wound and while he still had latex gloves on his hands.

He felt his face become flushed, knowing a blush had set in. His situation wasn’t being helped by the other taking his hand. "Here," his hand was taken to the cut on the others shoulder, then guided down to the cut on his right side, blood starting to form around his fingers, the cut still bleeding. He automatically applied pressure. "And there. Me and Armin are kind of in a weird place right now. I'm a fucking mess and I keep screwing up… and he's just trying to help me cope with it all, I guess."

“Come here,” with his free hand, he placed it on Eren’s other side, pulling him towards him, the green first aid box now on the cushion Eren had been sitting on. He swallowed thickly, Eren now between his legs, trying to focus on anything  _ but _ the toned, muscular chest before him which was firm to his touch, licking his lips as he looked away, his hand still pressing against the wound to stem the bleeding. His free hand rummaged in the box, “are you alright with me stitching this? Since you don’t want me to call for help?”  
“Sure…”  
  
He pulled out the small kit, his brain telling him he knew full well how to do what he’d said he would do, the curved needle soon threaded, a substance coated on wadding and being pressed to the wound, Eren not even flinching at what should have made the wound sting. “This might hurt…” He removed the cotton wadding and the needle was soon pushed through the skin, Levi looking up and seeing Eren watching, seemingly not phased. He looked back, pushing through the top part of the wound. “Not with the mushroom then?” He smirked, glancing up and seeing the confused look, “the hair. Honestly, I thought you were.”  
“No, not together…”

After everything was cleared away and he’d washed his hands, he headed back, sitting on another one of the chairs, slouching down enough that he looked incredibly comfortable. His eyes landed on Eren, the amused look on his face making him sit up a little straighter, his knees ending up either side of his own. He went still as Eren leant forwards, hands bracing himself against the back of the chair. "You know, I have no idea how to thank you for helping me out." The tone sent a shiver through his whole body, grey eyes locking with green. "Is there anything you want from me right now?" 

He couldn’t help but let his eyes wander at that, his hands itching to reach up and grab a hold of Eren’s neck and pull him down towards him. The thought sent his mind flying, it going fuzzy around the edges as his eyes connected with the others again, hands having moved on their own accord to Eren’s elbows. “I… You don’t… have to thank me…” He swallowed, mouth opening slightly afterwards he licked his lips. “But…”

His hands slid slowly down Eren’s arms to his wrists, then back up, left hand reaching out, fingers hooking quickly around the steel loop on the front of the other man’s collar, pulling firmly to bring Eren towards him. He angled his head up and their lips connected roughly, his eyes closed already, hand pulling through Eren’s hair gently. His brain screamed at him, screaming for him to stop, but his body was having other ideas, and before he knew it, they were standing. Levi pushed against Eren’s chest, foot hooking under the mans and causing him to fall flat on his back, Levi soon on top of him and straddling his waist, a smirk on his lips. Said lips soon met Eren’s again as he felt hands settle on his waist, and for a few moments, he was ready to allow the tongue that moved over his bottom lip to into his mouth, but he pulled away, panting slightly, his eyes darting over Eren’s face as confusion set in. 

A frown soon pulled at his forehead, a hand coming up to touch the collar around Eren’s neck, trailing up his jaw, swallowing a few times and taking a deep breath. He felt his fingers shake as they trailed from Eren’s ear, across his cheek and to his lips. “Eren… I’m…” His eyes started to blink rapidly, his brain screaming at him, flashing images behind his eyes as they ended up closed a few seconds later. This felt so familiar. It felt so real. He shook his head,  _ ‘Of course it’s real you idiot, he’s under you for crying out loud,’  _ but that wasn’t the way his brain used it. It felt like he should be here, like this is where he should be. His eyes opened, looking to Eren, a scared look crossing his face briefly before confusion kicked in full force. “Eren… I’m sorry… I don’t…’ He slid, sitting up but still on Eren’s knees, sitting between them, hands clenched into fists to try and disguise the shaking. “I’m sorry…” It was the coffee shop all over again, but now, he could  _ feel _ the gentle touches, the silky smooth touch of something he couldn’t describe, the adoration and the respect those touches caused, the pure  _ love _ he could recall. It made his heart clench and his breathing quicker. How in the hell could he recall this? He’d never met this man before the crash, he’d never been in such a position with him until now. And now here he was, panicking and probably scaring the other to death because of what had just happened.

"If you want me to stop, let me know and I'll stop."

The words made him lick his lips as his eyes looked to Eren’s, the gentle touch he was receiving was allowing his brain to keep going with the memory, seeing Eren under him, receiving the touches that he was being given. To see him lost in a blissful state of clear arousal.

Their lips pressed together, his eyes closing, noises being brought from his throat through no will of his own. He barely even noticed his shirt being undone until hands were on him, hips bucking up into his own. If his eyes had been open, they’d have surely fluttered with the movement. When lips left his own, his eyes opened, baring his neck on reflex as lips met the join of his neck and shoulder, gasping with each mark that was left. A kiss to his cheek sent his eyes closed again, starting to relish in the touches, but wanting nothing more than Eren’s lips back on his. As teeth caught his ear, a shiver ran through him, his hands increasing on Eren’s body. He couldn’t take it.

He couldn’t just let Eren do as he pleased, wanting those slightly swollen lips back on his own, and his fingers gripped and tilted the others head, so he could do just that. Tongues began battling, moans lost between, his hips jerking on their own into Eren’s, finding that spark and shiver go through him again. It was even worse, when Eren’s hand slid up his back, barely touching the flesh but it made him gasp, pulling away, his eyes closed with bliss, his back on fire with the touch. His bottom lip was pulled through his teeth as Eren’s hand pressed down more firmly, “Oh, god Eren….” His voice was quiet, just above a whisper as he spoke, a breathy moan of Eren’s name causing his brain to stutter. He pushed it aside, trying not to think of things he couldn’t quite recall, to live in the moment that was being formed in the room that was getting rather warm, or was that just him?

He felt Eren’s other hand move around to his back, “have I found a weak spot?” His voice was teasing and his forehead fell forwards, against Eren’s and he panted, his eyes still closed and the others dragged his nails over his tattoo, down past his shoulder blades and then his hands weren’t on him, but he could  _ feel _ them gripping. His eyes shot open, arms that were around Eren’s neck gripping that little bit tighter, cheek now pressing against the side of the others head. He felt the hands turn, twist, and then pull and a shiver rippled through him, ripped through his soul as his vision blurred, as glass shattering sounded within his ears, red covered his vision, of the teen under him screaming his name. “Oh god… Eren…” His voice was no longer a moan, pain hinting his voice. “Eren what’s happened? What’s…” His eyes darted to his side, seeing white feathers now on his coffee table, he blinked rapidly, the wings that had erupted behind his back spanning out upwards behind him, just out of his vision as he looked back to Eren, a painful look on his face. It was the first time the wings had been stretched at all since the accident, and it sent waves through his body. Pained grey eyes searched the green ones looking up to him, “Where am…” He swayed slightly, blinking furiously as a hand rested on Eren’s neck, his other hand coming up to press the tips of his fingers against Eren’s lips. “Baby… why’s… oh god i-it hur-urts…” He started to shake as Eren’s arms around him increased, holding him protectively as his mind flashed behind his eyelids as he couldn’t keep them open any longer. Eren’s face... black/blue wings unfurling before his eyes, the wind whipping past them as they looked down over New York City. 

His world became black, his body becoming dead weight in Eren’s arms, white wings relaxing until they were almost cocooning them, shielding himself and Eren, from anything that would hurt him while in an unconscious state.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bit of Halloween :p

He felt like lead after his eyelids worked their way open the next morning, feeling the most rested that he had for the past week. His body didn't want to move, shifting against the warmth he seems to be curled around, his head against a chest he couldn't remember falling asleep on. The other must-have moved during sleep fully laid out on his double bed, head against the pillow, his arms around him protectively. It did wonders for how he felt right now, he felt  _ at home... _ His body refused to stay awake for long, eyes sliding shut against his waking mind, trying to blink to keep himself awake, but not being able to in the slightest, falling back to the land of dreamers as quickly as he woke. 

Eren was awake before him the next time, waking to soft humming and idle patterns being drawn on his shoulder blade, through the shirt he was still wearing. He made a soft noise of content, shifting against Eren enough to wrap his leg around the others for a brief movement. "Mornin' sleepyhead." He blinked his eyes open sleepily, the voice grounding enough to allow his brain to think, wondering how he ended up in bed. He barely remembered anything other than helping Eren cleaning the wounds littering his skin. 

"Morning. How'd... I get into bed?" His voice was heavy with sleep, and he really refused to move in the slightest, staying right where he was curled against the other, the fingers still moving against his shoulder blade, causing him to shiver.   
"Well, you must have had an exhausting day, you fell asleep after you helped me, and I didn't know where your keys were to get out so I stayed, carried you here, hope you don't mind."  
"No... I don't mind. Thank you..." He smiled not wanting to push himself up and sit upright. "What time is it?" There was a pause, he knew from which way he was facing, his clock was behind him.  
"Almost 9. Do you have work?"  
"Not today." He sighed quietly, knowing he should be sitting up, swallowing as he opened his eyes properly, and a quick glance showed Eren still fully clothed, but he could definitely feel a lack of clothing bar his shirt and underwear under the covers. "Take it nothing happened last night then?" His voice sounded disappointed for a moment before he chased it away, his body feeling heavy as he pushed himself up on an elbow.  
  
"Nothing much, no." Eren gained a knowing smirk and he couldn't help but frown as he looked to his face, felt the other move under him, the cover being pushed to around his waist, and moved on to his back.   
"That smirk says more than 'nothing much,' Eren,"  
"Want me to show you what happened?" He was over him, Levi's hands coming up to his clothed torso, hands either side of his ribcage. The mouth was by his ear, a whisper of suggestion and it made him shiver again, feel teeth drag just below his ear, teasing a mark on his skin. The pressure made him flinch but in a good way. His mind clouded, body relaxing as hands soon worked their way under Eren's shirt, hands feeling soft, smooth skin as he travelled back up his sides, teeth dragging across his jugular, causing him to swallow and his mouth to move on its own volition.

"Keep this up Jaeger and I won't be held responsible for what happens..." He sighed at the end of the words, mind not registering that he shouldn't know the others last name since no one had ever told him it.   
"Sounds like a challenge," he felt Eren smirk against his throat, gasping as another mark was teased out of his pale skin.   
"Don't test me,"  
"Or what?" Everything moved all at once, his legs wrapped around Erens, his arms adjusting slightly as he gripped, pushing and pulling and soon flipping their positions, straddling the other's thighs. His hands were quick to move and to grip the front of his top, pulling him upwards so he was sat against his thighs, his own legs bent at the knees with Eren's arms cradling around him loosely. He laughed softly, his hands sliding up and around the other's neck, a hand threading through his hair, their noses almost touching.   
"Or I'll be forced to push you, that's what, and that's something I'm not going to do willingly."  
"Push me… heh… You're telling me you've not been thinking about this just as much as I have?"  
“If I told you I haven’t, I’d be lying, Eren.” His voice was low, fingertips splayed against the others jaw, on the side that wasn’t injured. He couldn’t get out of his head, and as much as he wanted to push this forwards, to take this over the metaphorical line… he couldn’t, his brain just wasn’t letting him, his body had started to obey the screaming inside his skull. “But I can’t do this…”   
“Why? You were fine a minute ago…”  
“I know… I just…” His fingers dragged down, his fingertips brushing idly over the leather around the teens’ neck. “You’re with someone Eren…”  
“He’s gone right now.”  
“That’s not the point. He’s coming back and I couldn’t do that to him, or put you in that position.” He sighed after he spoke, eyes still looking to the leather collar, “the way you spoke of him, he obviously means a lot to you, and I wouldn’t want to jeopardize that because I couldn’t control myself. “I’m sorry, I really am. I  _ wish _ I could let myself take this further, you have no idea.” He smiled a small, half-smile, eyes finally looking up to see the slightly hurt, yet amused eyes waiting for him, and he vaguely wondered what was amusing. “What?” 

“Nothing… just… I get it. I do…” Eren leant up to give him a quick kiss, Levi’s eyes fluttering closed instantly. His hands moved to cup Eren’s face as he felt the other press his body closer with his arms, hands splayed against his back, eliciting a small moan from his throat, a breathy laugh following as he pulled away.  
“I thought you understood?”  
“Couldn’t help myself.” He opened his eyes, hand trailing over Eren’s cheek, fingers brushing over his lips. “You’re damn cute in the morning.”  
“Yeah?”  
“Definitely. I should go before I crave you anymore.”  
“Don’t be a stranger though…?” Levi suddenly became worried that his half rejection was going to push Eren away completely, and he thought it showed, as Eren’s hands slid and took hold of his hips, the grip a little harsher than it should have been. “Don’t just walk out my front door and never come back.”   
“Why? If we can’t do this…”  
“So? We can be friends can’t we?” He frowned, a ‘you’ve got to be serious’ look crossing his face.  
“Levi,”  
“No, don’t be such a  _ brat. _ You can at least come by the shop every once in a while. Just because I  _ can’t _ , hear that right and don’t hear  _ won't,  _ doesn’t mean I’m not interested in being friends. Even when I thought you were with the annoying mushroom when he was marking his territory, I was still interested in getting to know you.” 

“Marking his what?”  
“Really Eren, you must notice it? It’s like you’re the centre of his universe. I honestly thought you were long term partners with the way he looks at you and how you’re up in his space.” Eren looks up from him, both of them still sat how they were with Levi sat comfortably on Eren’s thighs, their arms around each other. “You really didn’t notice it?”   
“Not to that extent…”   
“Well, I’d tell you to be careful but you can obviously handle yourself.” Silence enveloped them, green eyes looking back into grey, a small smile on Levi’s lips. “Just don’t disappoint the guy you’re waiting for, Eren, I wouldn’t want you to get hurt that way.”   
“I… I won’t…” Green eyes pulled with his smile, softening slightly as Levi shifted, moving to stand, Eren’s hands slipping from him.

A few minutes passed, Eren finding his shirt and pulling it back on, Levi grimacing at the dried blood, telling him to shower and change the dressings when he got home and to watch the stitches, a piece of work he was quite proud of. Levi had pulled sweat pants and a tank top, and was soon holding the door open for Eren, who moved past him and out, then back in, pushing him into the wall, his lips pressing against him, tongue asking for entrance. His mind went blank, not remembering why he’d said the things he had. What possible reason could he have had to push this brat away? None… Just… nothing… No reason at all.

His arms were soon around Eren’s neck, pulling him closer, his back flat against the wall and Eren’s body flat against his own. It was honestly the best sandwich he could ever think of being a part of. Maybe a double helping of Eren would make it better, now his brain thought about it… Eren pulled away, leaving him breathless, his eyes blinking furiously a few times. “Shall we see how long you can keep yourself away? I don’t think it’ll be that long, personally…” He let go, Levi relaxing, dropping an inch or two from being pushed up on to his tiptoes against the wall. Eren moved out the doorway, closing the door behind him. 

“God  _ damnit _ Rivaille. You’re such an  _ idiot _ .” He cursed behind the door, then he realized how loud he was, but couldn’t hear anything on the other side of the door, so he breathed, hoping to hell Eren had walked away quickly. 

He pushed off the wall, heading to his living room and stopping, seeing white feathers on the sofa with a few black, and it made him frown. White now? Where had the white come from? Had that damn bird got in and brought friends with him? He looked around subconsciously as if he’d set his eyes on both of them sitting on his kitchen counter. He collected them, the white feeling just as silky smooth as the black, and it made him smile. He really needed to do something with these… He had a day off, after all. “Hmm…” He hunted, trying to find anything of use in the flat, finding a few things he could use, and demolishing a few more for extra parts that he  _ could _ use, and spent the better part of 7 hours, taking him to 4 PM, fashioning something rather stunning, quite proud as he turned the black and white creation around in his hands, inspecting it to see if there was anything he could fix or add before he called it project complete and went hunting for food. 

  
  
  


The next day found him at work in the morning, the day passing uneventfully and Erwin soon appeared to take him home so they could go out for dinner. The man’s eyes had gone straight to his neck the second he saw him, Levi not being able to cover his neck in the slightest given his uniform collar not covering much past the lower part of his neck. “Levi…”   
“Mmm?”   
“What happened to your neck?” A blush crept instantly across his cheekbones.   
“Not what you’re thinking… well, partly what you’re thinking but nothing else happened.”  
“Was it Eren?”   
“Why are you so bothered by him?”   
“I’m not, I just don’t want you getting hurt. I’ve had to live through that once,” his voice changed dramatically, Levi stopping in the action of putting his jacket on, it hanging on by one shoulder as he looked to Erwin, seeing the rather dejected look. “I can’t live through that again, please just tell me you won’t do anything stupid.”   
“Erwin, nothing happened, nothing will be happening either…” He pulled his jacket on as he spoke, Erwin looking at him curiously.   
“How’d you mean?”  
“He said he was waiting for someone, waiting for him to come back. He’s with someone. I’m not doing that to either party.”  
“Oh…” Erwin gained a smile, Levi missing it as he rummaged through his bag, and it clearly said that he was amused that Levi was practically saving pain from himself in the long run without even knowing he was doing it. This would suit him just fine, Armin too, probably. “You’re not upset are you?”   
“I’m fine, Erwin, honestly. We are just going to be friends, get to know each other that way.”   
“Well, good. Come on, I’m hungry.”

Two weeks soon whizzed by him, barely noticing where the time went. Highlights of his days were when Eren, who thankfully hadn't ignored him on coming to the shop every once in a while, did just that, or played his guitar just outside. Even on the rare moment when Eren came in  _ with _ the guitar, sitting in the back corner nook near the window. Whenever this happened, Levi had always turned off the speakers filtering music into the little shop, much preferring to her Eren play than some meaningless face on the CD Sasha insisted on playing. Eren had walked him home after that day, having come in late on while Levi had been on a late shift, finishing at 10. That had been a good day. 

Since he’d backed off Eren, taking things down the route of being friends, it was difficult and he knew full well the other wasn’t helping, doing odd little things whenever he caught him looking in his direction. Smirking, licking his lips, or stretching across the table. The first time it had happened, Eren caught on quickly that he kept glancing over and when he looked back, he was slowly taking off his jacket, revealing a tank top that showed off the tattoo over his arms and shoulders quite sinfully. Needless to say, he’d dropped the tray he’d been holding. Hanji had been with him and had almost fallen from her chair laughing, until he hit her with the tray after picking it up from the floor, practically ordering her to help him clean up the mess. 

He was thankful Armin had backed off him as well, though he got a glare so fierce when the other saw his neck that he could have sworn if looks could kill he’d be six feet under already. Whenever Eren was with the short blond, he refused to go over, he’d happily serve them at the counter, but left Sasha or Connie, depending on who was in, to clear away the corner they were in. Erwin had made his presence more known as well over the past couple of weeks. Pushing his advances further and since Levi wasn’t with anyone he didn’t protest it, even though highly interested in seeing the guitar playing brown-haired male. By god did he wish that brat was single! He’d be on him quicker than he could blink. Erwin knew this, and if he and Eren were in the same vicinity, Erwin would go out his way to play up the cute and adorable in his favour, getting Levi’s attention off Eren quite effectively, the older of the pair noticing Armin did exactly the same thing with Eren. He also now tended to shower Levi in outings, it rare Levi had a night to himself, or a day went by without seeing Erwin in some form whether it be grabbing coffee for a meeting, or going out to lunch or dinner.

He didn’t mind, of course, he didn’t, it was nice to just be back in a normal routine, though he still couldn’t remember much from the time before the crash, and it was starting to not bother him at all. If it was important, he’d remember it. Hanji had disagreed with that statement quite adamantly. 

_ “Levi, you can’t just stop actively trying to reclaim your memories.”  
_ _ “I can if all I remember is meaningless shit, Hanji.” They were sitting together in a small restaurant, cake in front of both of them.   
_ _ “But it’s not meaningless. Everything you remember is important.”   
_ _ “But I remember and then it’s gone, and I don’t remember it again. The only thing I remember is pain, and you are all telling me that’s not real.” Hanji frowned, spoon poised ready to bring more cake to her mouth, “and that look tells me the both of you are lying to me.”  
_ _ “We’re not lying…”  
_ _ “Yes, you are. Just admit it. Admit it and I’ll promise to keep trying to remember.” Hanji hesitated as if she was willing to declare everything to him right then and there.   
_ _ “Look, we just don’t want to trigger any psychotic break, that’s all hunny.”  
_ _ “So you admit it?”   
_ _ “Yes, I admit we were lying. It is a real memory. It’s not what I wanted to stick first, but yes. It happened. It’s how you got hurt.”   
_ _ “No car crash?”   
_ _ “No, you were thrown from a window.”  
_ _ “By who?”  
_ _ “Now that is something I  _ **_don’t_ ** _ know,” Levi smirked, tucking back to his cake as Hanji watched him carefully, polishing off her chocolate cake quickly. “How’s you and Erwin? He pinned you to a mattress yet?” _

_ “Like I’m that easy.” Hanji laughed, Levi doing the same softly as he looked around, waving the waiter down for the bill since they had a movie to get to. “But no, he hasn’t. And he won’t be doing any time soon. He can work for it if that’s what he’s after.”   
_ _ “And lavish you in all things  _ **_wonderful_ ** _ until then?”  
_ _ “If that’s what happens, so be it.” He smirked, Hanji rolling her eyes, “and it’s not like he’s  _ **_brought_ ** _ me anything, he just likes taking me out to fancy restaurants and romantic walks in the park or getting on a plane and taking a short overnight trip to Florida.”  _

The Florida trip just into the week after Eren had ended up in his apartment, had, in all fairness, been completely out of the blue. Erwin apparently needed to do something work-related and told Levi he could come with him if he wanted to. Levi had jumped at the chance to fly, to see somewhere new. As he was getting on the plane, his shoulders had started to ache, enough that it bothered him while looking out the windows of Erwin’s private plane. The blond had scooted him forwards on the sofa, slid behind him and started to massage his shoulders. It made Levi turn to mush, and ended up falling asleep against him for an hour.

But now, two weeks late, he was at work, reading a book behind the counter. It was 7 PM and there were only a handful of people here, and 4 of them were Erwin, Hanji and 2 others, looking as if they were in some sort of meeting. He's long since stopped trying to hear, focusing on his book instead, Eren filtering into his mind. Since he started, he always had a jacket covering his shirt, but now he had abandoned it, Sasha having complained about the cold, and turning it up to what felt like full blast, the windows had steamed up given the cold evening outside. The tips of the white tattoo were visible on his arms since he was in a short-sleeved shirt, and a curious item was now on his left wrist, something he’d fashioned a few weeks ago, having only just finished it properly in the last few days, and now never without it against his skin. 

The black feathers that he’d found on his balcony were now in a circle, intricately woven together around a wide wire bangle with a clasp. It was stunning to say the very least. The feathers shining glossy and bright in the light. There were two white feathers going through the middle, woven from the clasp on either side to overlap on top of his wrist, wrapped together, giving contrast beside the black. The whole bracelet itself was a stark contrast against the pale skin of his arm. It had made everyone stop, for reasons unknown to him, Erwin had nearly choked on his drink as he took his jacket off across the room, Hanji almost dropping her fork, and the two people they were with turned around and balked at him as well. He couldn’t understand why, until he realized it was probably the peculiar feathers around his wrist, since nothing else was wrong with him, unless it was because he’d removed his jacket when he never did? But that had been quelled when Sasha had taken hold of his wrist so sharply he almost jarred his shoulder at lunchtime, exclaiming about the bracelet and asked him where he’d acquired it. After saying he’d made it with feathers he’d found on the balcony, she’d been confused, but said that it was so unique he should wear it all the time.

“Levi, we’re going.” Hanji approached the counter, Levi looking up from his book, smiling at her and nodding.  
“Alright, see you soon.”  
“I take it you’re going to be getting home alright?” She winked, gesturing to Eren in the corner, in a world of his own.   
“I assume so, yes.”  
“I’ll distract Blondie.” Levi smirked, Erwin heading over, not even getting the chance to offer a lift as Hanji’s hand encased his own and pulled, proclaiming the night was young and they were going to sail off and have an adventure. Levi gave an apologetic look, rather thankful Hanji was pro-Eren, always going out of her way to make sure he managed to get to talk to the other. There was no one else there then, Levi moving over towards Eren and sitting down at a table, a book in his hands. If anyone wanted anything he’d get up and go to the counter that way, and as time ticked closer to 9, he heard Eren’s voice.

"That's… did you make that?" He nodded, looking down at his wrist, twisting it slowly, the glossy black feathers shining in their own sheen. "It's beautiful. I'm sure those birds will be happy."   
“Whatever bird it’s from, I’d love to catch it in the act of perching on my balcony. Though I found the white ones in my apartment, so I think it got in at some point…” He snapped his book closed and left it on the table, heading to the door and locking it, not caring in the slightest that he was closing up 20 minutes earlier than he should be, wanting to get home and get to bed.

He pulled down the blinds, Eren doing the one closest to him and clipping into the hook at the bottom. Levi headed off to cash up the register and lock all the money away, soon starting to wipe down the tables, Eren watching him idly as he went about his nightly close down routine, having done the floor earlier. Levi was just thankful he wasn’t in in the morning. He was cleaning down the last of the tables, glancing to Eren, seeing a rather curious expression on his face. “What?”   
“Nothing, just watching.”  
“You could help? It’d go faster.”   
“You’re nearly done, and would redo anything I cleaned.”  
“Touché.” He did the last few, picking up the chairs and placing them on top of the tables, soon unfastening his apron from around his waist after he stashed the cleaning supplies in the carrier he’d brought with him. “Are you walking with me?” Eren nodded, standing up, “I’ll grab my things.” He turned and took the carrier with him, stashing it in the back before getting his things, not putting anything on until he got back downstairs, Eren sat in one of the nooks. He went over, placing his bag and jacket on the table free of chairs, the nook having a booth so he didn’t need to place anything on its surface. It didn’t take them long after that to lock up and head towards Levi’s apartment, chatting idly as they went.

"Don't you have somewhere to be, Jaeger?"  
"Yeah. In there." The suggestive tone alone made him close his eyes, unlocking the door blindly and feeling Eren’s arms fall off him, not being able to refuse letting him in, though if he fell asleep next to him again at least he knew he’d sleep well. But they were supposed to be avoiding this and not doing such things again. Was Eren going to cave before him? He didn’t want him to be unfaithful, didn’t want to be the cause of that in the slightest, maybe he had the willpower to stop himself…

Once changed and his things put away and in the right places, now in sweatpants and a tank top and feeling infinitely better for it. Bare feet padded along the carpet, seeing Eren sit down on the floor crossed legged, raising an eyebrow slightly as he watched him pat his legs. As much as he wanted to, he knew where that could lead. "Hanji told me you wanted to keep trying to recover your memories, I thought maybe I could do something to help. It's just a little idea, but anything's worth a try, right?”  
“You spoke to Hanji? You know her?” Eren simply nodded, Levi internally cursing the woman purely because the term ‘patient-doctor confidentiality’ passed through his mind.   
“What have you got to lose?” Not much, if anything. If it helped, then maybe he’d be better off for it. Worst case scenario, it didn’t work and he remembered nothing.

He deliberated for a few moments, Eren holding out his arms. After a few seconds he was heading over, kneeling down and sitting over the others’ knees, facing him, his knees bent with his shins against the carpet. He felt hands on his hips, and his own instantly went around Eren’s neck. “If this is a cheap attempt at something…” He left the words hanging, looking around the room before looking to Eren’s green eyes, a hint of mystery hidden within them, “needless to say it’s working.” He smiled, Eren echoing it right back at him, “what’s the idea, kid?”  
"You're going to have to tell me what you feel. But… just keep looking at me. Only at me, Levi." He effectively couldn’t move and for once, he wasn’t paranoid, wasn’t worried about what Eren was going to do. He trusted him, and trusted him not to do anything he didn’t want to do. His arms folded, about the only thing he could do as Eren’s hands rested on his face, blocking his vision, his curiosity spiking. What did he not want him seeing? It was killing him already and he was pretty sure Eren hadn’t done anything yet. 

“Eren what’re y…” His words trailed off, his body tensing as he felt a warm weight against his back, a soft feeling crossing over his slightly bare shoulders, making his shoulders ache beyond reason, like that had when he’d stepped on the plane with Erwin. He wanted nothing more than to turn his head and look at what was happening, he wanted to see, to  _ know. _ Eren clearly felt the slight twitch of his head.  
"Keep looking." He did as he was told, swallowing thickly as he felt the feeling shift, getting closer to him, pushing his body slightly straighter, his eyes fluttering, “Levi? Look at me.” His eyes desperately wanted to close, but he refused, wanting to obey the obvious command that left Eren’s lips, voice low, “talk to me.”  
“It’s… it feels weird… What’re you doing?” His words were slow, not meaning to sound as bad as it had.   
“Don’t think about what I’m doing. Is it a  _ good  _ weird?” Levi nodded slightly, seeing Eren smile. “Good… Just think of something else.” His mind wandered as if it had been waiting for the command, instantly flinching slightly as he did so, a shiver ran through him, and consequently the feeling around his back following suit.

The small movements made his eyes close, his arms around Eren’s neck stiffened, forcing his eyes open. Images of the wind whipping past them, Eren and himself side by side on a rooftop, overlooking the city. “Levi?” Eren’s voice was a whisper, seeing him speak to him behind his closed eyelids, looking towards him as he stood.   
“Eren…”  
“Talk to me, you gotta tell me what you’re feeling…”  
“Confused…” He flinched again, seeing Eren jump from the building in question, “No!!” His eyes flew open, looking startled, “You…”  
“I’m right here, I’m fine, get back to it. Close your eyes.” He did, though reluctantly, the scene starting over, Levi flinching again as Eren jumped, clenching his teeth shut to stop himself crying out. Eren shouting sounded all around him, beckoning to join him below the building. He felt his legs tense as he saw himself step forwards, coiling to jump, the building leaving his feet as he pushed off, wind whipping around his figure, and his brain couldn’t handle it, pushing it aside and forcing him to look back to green eyes, so close, so  _ familiar _ . “We jumped… why would…”  
“Jumped?”  
“Off… off a building!!” He saw Eren smile, a warm, inviting smile, then felt the warmth and softness against his back pull and shift, sending a shiver down his spine again. 

It was like nothing he’d ever felt, Eren’s face flooding his vision in a different way, seeing his face happy and smiling, waving slightly from a distance; them both sat in the coffee shop he worked at, donned in black and red, nestled together in one of the nooks. His face softened, his grip loosening, but still there around Eren’s neck. “Levi?”   
“It’s… not like last time… there’s not just… pain...” His eyes opened, blinking a few times. “I know you…” he gasped the words, “I knew I knew your eyes…” His voice was a whisper, only audible due to their proximity.  _ “How do I know you?”  _ Eren paused, Levi’s words stressed as he spoke, the smile still there, still giving him chills.   
“What are you feeling?” In fairness, there was only one thing he was feeling, and it was the man between his arms and legs, pressing against him. He rolled his shoulders, getting more of the sensation of the softness rubbing against his shoulder, the ache increasing, a moan passing his lips, clearly unashamed of it. “Least it’s something good you’re feeling.”  
“Damn good.” His voice was breathy, tongue poking out and licking his lips, wanting nothing more than to just  _ look _ .

“No. Eyes on me Rivaille.” His eyes opened, having tried to move his head with his eyes closed.   
“I want…”  
“You’re not looking.”   
“No… You don’t understand what… I want…” His eyes searched Eren’s, feeling the intense desire brought on by his mind, the visions he’d got glimpses of, fragmented into some sort of montage. “I fucking  _ want you. _ ” Without stopping himself, or Eren stopping him for that matter, he tilted his head, their lips meeting but not in a fierce lust filled way like last time. This was different, like they’d been doing it for years, like it was second nature. Their mouths slotted together, both sets of eyes fluttering closed as their lips moved slowly against each other, Levi’s tongue quick to ask for entrance, Eren granting it without thinking. He felt the weight against his back shift away, and he shivered, a moan getting lost within the kiss. 

What he’d said before be damned. He knew the man he was wrapped around. He knew him. He more than just knew him, he couldn’t quite explain it. He just… he just  _ knew. _ He stayed kissing the other, Eren’s hands sliding down from his face, ghosting over his back gently, his fingertips running across his tattoo on the way, another moan getting lost between them. His hands soon settled on his sides, and Levi’s pulled around, one arm still around the others shoulder. His other hand pressed against his neck, it took a minute or two to register but he pulled away, enough so that he could look to Eren’s neck, not seeing anything out of the ordinary within his field of vision. “I… this…”  
“What about it…?” A hand gently rubbed a circle on his thigh, the other doing the same on his lower back, a flash of leather, a flash of an apartment, a flash of sadness.   
“I… you’re waiting for someone…” Eren nodded, breathing just as heavily as Levi was. “I know him… don’t I…?”  
“Do you?”   
“I…” His hands relaxed, the one resting on his neck going to the back, idly fiddling with small buckle fastening. “I think I do…” His hands went to it, quite prepared to undo it without even thinking about it. He felt Eren tense beneath him and his face became soft as he looked down, seeing something flit across the others face, it was gone before he could identify it, and he sighed, fingers blindly making sure the collar was still securely around Eren’s neck. “But he’s not here right now.” He smiled, a small, sad smile, a hand moving to play with the strands of Eren’s hair at the back of his head, his left coming around to gently run his fingertips across the others cheek, moving to his lips and pausing there. He closed his eyes, pressing his forehead against Eren’s, fingers still against the other's lips gently. “But he will be, eventually.”

His fingers fell away from Eren's lips, trailing to his chin, and then down his throat, fingertips stopping at the collar. "Want to try again? You might get something else. Just promise me that no matter how much you want to look, you'll keep your eyes on me."   
"Will it work again?"  
"Only one way to find out." Levi's eyes searched Eren's, his arms sliding back around his neck after a few moments, Eren's hands finding his face again and holding him there, gentle but firm. He shifted a little where he sat as the warmth met his back again. It was noticeably firmer this time and his eyes closing as he pressed his back against the inviting presence, a breath he didn't know he'd been holding passed his lips. "Levi?"  
"I'm ok," his eyes opened, blinking a few times as he felt the feeling shift against his skin, a shiver running through his body. "Urgh, my shoulders."  
"You alright?"  
"They're aching like a  _ bitch _ ." He saw a small frown cross Eren's face, "I'm fine, though it's not the first time."  
"When was the first time?"  
"When I got on a plane with Erwin," his voice had become breathy as the wings shifted against him, wanting nothing more than to look at what Erens was doing, and what it was against his back. 

He blinked slowly, licking his lips as he stared into Eren's eyes. They swam with something unidentifiable and he took a deep breath in, smelling nothing but the sweet scent of the male in his arms, pressed against him. 

_ "Levi, this is the new recruit." Grey eyes looked up from the paper in his hands, Hanji's following his gaze to Eren.  
_ _ "I don't want babysitter duty."  
_ _ "Well, it's not a request." Erwin smiled his way, Levi's eyes hardening under the gaze.  
_ _ "I don't want to have to look after some shitty brat that doesn't listen. I don't have time for that."  
_ _ "Tough. Don't make me repeat myself." Eren had yet to look at him, and somehow, that  _ **_irritated_ ** _ him enough that it wasn't even fair. _

"Levi??" His eyes had become glassy while his mind overtook his sight, clearly not there while his brain bombarded his vision.   
"Brat can't even look at me." He flinched, his body tensing, the soft pull and shift against his back grounded him enough that he relaxed moments later, his elbows bending to allow him to card his fingers through Eren's hair. "I can't even..."  
"Levi focus on me," his eyes seemed to unglaze as he twitched, mouth opening slightly as Eren spoke,   
"Brat..."   
"Think I prefer Eren right about now..." He felt Eren laugh, the noise of it registering slowly in his brain.   
"Erwin... He..."  
"Hmm?"  
"He introduced us..."  
"More like assigned us to each other..." Eren managed to get him to turn around, so his back was too him. Levi’s eyes closed the second Eren's fingers touched his skin. As Erens hands worked across his shoulders, working out knots he didn't even know he had, Levi felt like mush as he breathed steadily, revelling in the feel as expert hands did their work. 

His job wasn't stressful enough to warrant the tension Eren was working out right now, nor when Erwin did it, he couldn't understand why they were bothering him so much. But if he got this kind of treatment when he did moan about them, he'd definitely complain more often. Eren was miles better at this than Erwin was. Once he'd stopped and felt like his shoulders were jelly, he'd fallen backwards, laying between Eren's legs, head resting against his chest. It hadn't taken him long to fall asleep on him, his last thoughts are akin to hoping he was still there come morning.   
  
  
His thoughts came true, when he blinked himself awake, once again wrapped around the other side against a bare chest, their legs a tangled mess. Levi yawned as he snuggled further into Eren's side, rather glad to be waking up in this fashion. It was something he could get used to for sure. He heard Eren hum as he stirred awake under him, it resounding in his body, his head against the others shoulder, able to hear his heartbeat quickened as he awoke to him curled up and around his side. "Morning."  
"Morning yourself." Levi smiled slightly at the response,   
"You didn't need to carry me here again."  
"Your beds comfier than the couch."  
"Mmmm." His voice was quiet, full of sleep, his eyes had closed again, fully intending to go straight back to sleep, regardless of the time... "Not that I‘m complaining, obviously."

He must have fallen asleep quite quickly and quite deeply because the next thing he knew was Eren waking him up with a kiss and the promise of tasty food, arms either side of his body.

“Pancakes?”   
“With bacon and maple syrup.”  
“Mmmmm, sounds tasty,” Eren smirked, Levi doing the same as the other moved from him, sitting up and watching him round the bed to the dresser. A tray was soon placed over him, Levi looking down, looking back up when Eren left the room, he picked up the bottle of maple syrup, pouring a rather unhealthy amount on top of the pancakes wedged with bacon.  
“Are you trying to give yourself diabetes?” he looked up after turning the bottle right way up, seeing Hanji wander in after Eren, who sat down next to him with his own tray, swiping the syrup from his hands.   
“So what if I am? Why are you even in my bedroom?”  
“Definitely not the same reason as Eren apparently, though I’m sure I wouldn’t object…”  
  
“Is there a reason you’re here?”  
“I was dropping off your Halloween costume.”  
“Costume?” he picked up the knife and fork, starting to eat them happily as Hanji sat down on his side of the bed, near the bottom.  
“You are wearing a costume whether you like it or not.”  
“I’d rather not even go, Hanji. I don’t like parties.”   
“Do you remember you don’t?” Levi stopped mid bite, sliding the fork out slowly, levelling her with a glare. “Well then. You’re going. The shop is closed for it anyway, so you may as well.”  
“Fine. Is that all?”  
“Yes, sir!” he stopped, looking up from his pancakes, frowning slightly at the term, eyes past her to the door, not catching the look she gave Eren at him stopping.

“Levi?” He didn’t respond, the frowning deepening across his face, not quite understanding why that formality struck a chord. “Levi!” Eren’s repeated, slightly louder use of his name made him snap his head him, looking confused. “You alright?” His voice was softer, clearly sensing the slight distress.   
“Yeah… I’m… I’m fine.”   
“Imma go… I’ll pick your tight butt up at 7. Erwin ain't driving you. It’s my turn. I can help you put your costume on.”   
“Fine, whatever. Go. Let me enjoy my breakfast.”  
“More like lunch.” She pushed up, giving a wave and a wink, “Don’t forget, be ready. No fun times to make you late. I expect you there too, Eren.” She wiggled her eyebrows before disappearing, Levi not talking until he heard the door close. 

“She is insufferable, at times. But these pancakes.” He smiled, stabbing another piece of syrup covered pancake with bacon, a small, happy moan escaping his lips. The sound of which caused Eren to choke on his mouthful of pancake.   
  
He smirked as he heard Eren cough after he’d swallowed the food. "That good, eh? Maybe I should make you moan more often." He didn’t even want to dignify that comment with a response, the only one the teen got was a look that said ‘goddammit really?’ the brat soon ending up bursting out laughing at himself. Levi went back to eating his breakfast, picking the glass up by the rim, drinking from it idly, not even noticing his fingers had found their way back to their normal way of holding cups and glasses.    
  
They finished soon after, Eren getting dressed, Levi walking him to the door, the teen spinning quickly his arms finding Levi’s body, pulling him close and up onto tiptoes. “See you later.”    
“I’m sure I can’t get out of the party, so most likely.” His hands snaked their way around Eren’s neck, to stop him from toppling backwards, thanks to his balance when held up on to his toes. “Do you have a costume?”   
“Wouldn’t be Halloween if I didn’t. Can’t wait to see what you’re wearing.” Eren’s lips met his, Levi’s eyes fluttering closed, a hand pulling around to hold the others neck, his fingers fiddling idly with the leather strap that rested there. Their lips moved slowly against each other, it soon deepened a fraction as Eren’s hand travelled from around his back, to rest on his hip, the grip firm as he pulled him towards him, Levi pulling back from the kiss, Eren’s mouth going to his neck by default.   
“Go, already.” He smirked, Eren’s lips still moving against his neck, sending his eyes almost rolling into his skull. “Eren, I can’t do this right now.”    
“Why? Nothing stoppin’ you.”    
“There is,” he wanted nothing more than to throw Eren to the floor and take him like the world was ending, but he knew he couldn’t. If he really was the one that Eren was waiting for, he couldn’t do that to the teen before him. He couldn’t blur the lines of his former self and current self. He wanted to get back to being the one that Eren quite clearly fell in love with, even if he got the feeling that neither had said it or planned to, it was obviously an unspoken truth between them, something they didn’t need to verbalize. “I can’t do that to either of us. Not yet.”    
“I’ll be waiting.” Eren smiled, pulled away from his throat, a quick peck to his lips and he was heading out the door, it closed gently behind him. Levi’s fingers reached up curiously, touching his bottom lip, moving to lock the door with his other hand.   
  
He moved over to where Haji had left the freshly laundered clothes bag, hanging on his bedroom door, unzipping it and looking at it with a raised eyebrow, the other joining it as the bandages fell out of the bottom of the bag as he unzipped it all the way. What the hell kind of costume was this?

  
  
  


“You look... amazing.”   
“I feel ridiculous.” Hanji had come over earlier than she’d said she would, once Levi had messaged her saying ‘what the hell are the bandages for?’ figuring he’d need help. And he wasn’t gonna lie, he’d needed help. Though the woman was almost having a fangirl fit on the sofa in front of him.    
“Yes but you look incredible. Honestly, that’s a dream come true.” She gestured to him, Levi tugging gently at the bandages covering his right eye, it oddly comfortable, though knew it would get annoying quickly. When she’d covered both, he’d almost rage quit right here, tugging it off and breathing heavily, his mind flashed to a pleasurable pain making a quick journey through his body to all the wrong places. She’d sidestepped then telling him exactly what she was doing, and how it would sit, telling him it wouldn’t be able to move down over his left eye as she'd tack it so it stayed up, the bottom strips of which were covering his cheekbones just under his left eye. Hanji was soon standing, arranging her lab coat over her outfit, completely ‘mad scientist’ as she stood taking in his appearance. He didn’t quite get her costume, but she had assured him everyone else would since he didn’t remember enough yet. “If only we could get you singing… Urgh that would make my entire year.”

  
“There’s not enough alcohol in the world.”    
“You realize my brain just went ‘challenge accepted’, right?” Levi sighed, grabbing his phone, keys and wallet, and pushing them all into the pockets of the jacket fitting snugly over his torso, keeping his keys in his hands.    
“Hurry up or we are going to be more than ‘fashionably’ late.”

They were there by 8 PM, one of the last people to arrive, the place already in full swing, the music being heard already as they pulled up in Hanji’s SUV. “Who’s this party for again?”  
“Erwin’s company.”   
“The one he won't tell me about?”  
“Probably because it’s boring beyond reason.” He hooked her arm under his as they walked from the car, partly helping guide him giving he only had half his vision, another because she could, playing upon the fact they had indeed got closer the past week weeks, knowing it wouldn’t only send Erwin up the wall, but make Eren raise his eyebrow maybe. He held the door open for her, the coffee shop closed off for the general public and it only being the people that worked in the shop, and the people that worked for the company Erwin owned. Said man found them quickly as if he’d been waiting for them to step through the door. “Really? An accountant?”  
“A costume is a costume, Hanji.” His eyes slid to Levi, giving him a not so subtle look at what he was wearing. “Get the guy a mic, I think we’ve got our entertainment.” Levi practically blushed, thankfully the bandage covering his cheekbones covered where the blush resided.   
“Apparently there isn’t enough alcohol in the world for that.”  
“Really? Pretty sure that can be arranged. Come, this way.” His arm went around Levi’s shoulders casually, as if it were the most natural thing in the world, Levi not questioning it, used to how Erwin was with him by now. “I want you to meet some people.” By some, it felt like the entire place, Levi not quite understanding why he was being introduced to the plethora of people. Erwin’s logic being, getting as much exposure early on to save anything being dragged up later, especially given these people hadn’t seen him since before the accident. 

He was half exhausted as he found his way across where the tables used to be, them being removed, leaving the nooks for people to sit and a few chairs around the edge of the room, the entire shop practically a dance floor, bar the bar that had been set up and manned where the counter was. He’d yet to see Eren, and he’d lost Hanji, but he did find Connie who directed him with a small, somewhat knowing smile to where Eren stood with Armin, green eyes staring him down, his one usable grey eye looking shocked at the wings behind Eren’s back. By this point, he’d had half the bars worth of alcohol, Hanji showing up every now and then and giving him some sorta of weird and wonderful drink, highly encouraging him to mix drinks. He knew it wasn’t the best idea, but Erwin had coaxed him into drinking them before he realized he had. He moved over quickly, giving Armin a rather strange look, given what he was wearing. “Don’t even ask.” Was all he got in response, looking to Eren, and looking him over, restraining himself in the look that was giving, keeping it to idle curiosity about the others' costume.   
“What kind of angel has black wings and has horns?”  
“The fallen kind.” Eren, not as subtle as he was, checked his costume out quite openly, Levi wondering if he got the reference or not, since Levi certainly hadn’t. “Do you even know what you’re wearing?”  
“No. Hanji dressed me.”  
“And he looks incredible!!” Levi’s empty glass was taken from him, a full, rather fruity looking red drink being pushed into his hand carefully. Hanji had appeared as if from nowhere, it made him jump slightly, the shock allowing her to make the exchange.   
“Anyone would think you were trying to get me drunk.”   
“Wouldn’t dream of just  _ trying _ .” She placed a kiss to the bandages covering his right eye, smirked and giving Eren a wink before prancing off again and out of sight.  
“I'll leave you guys to it, just wanted to say hello and see your costume.” He gave a small smile, fully intending to go find either Sasha, Connie or Erwin and stay with them, not quite liking being in Armin’s presence, given the look he’d received while talking to Eren, and the glance at this costume, an emotion he couldn’t quite identify.

"Glad Hanji managed to persuade you to come to this thing, then?"  
"It's getting better." He smirked, eyes wandering slightly as he moved to stand next to Eren, leaning against the wall. His eyes were on his drink, head tilted down slightly until he drank quickly, downing half the liquid and looked to Eren, who was looking around the room. Grey eyes were drawn towards the wings again, having not been able to see them clearly stood straight on. They looked incredible for a costume. "They look amazing." He was transfixed, now closer, able to see each individual feather. He got the urge to reach out and touch them, to feel what they were made of.   
"Thanks, took me ages to make."  
"You  _ made _ those?"  
"Yeah," he couldn't help it, his arm bending, his jacket and shirt moving enough to reveal his wrist, the wristband he'd made still on his wrist. He'd been adamant that he kept on wearing it, regardless of the costume.

His slender fingers brushed against the feathers before Eren could move, Levi not even noticing him tense up, or the looks the action gained from various people around them. They were soft, warm, and a frown pulled on his face under the bandages, the one eye that was visible gained confusion. "They are incredible." He caught a feather between his fingers, rolling his hand down gently from the middle to its tip. He swallowed, eyes looking to his wrist as the backs of his fingers brushed against more feathers. The frown deepened and he swallowed, seeing the same colour around his wrist as the feathers his fingers were touching gently. He froze, his mind whirring and whizzing with thoughts. 

"Levi!" He looked around after nearly jumping out of his skin. The voice belonged to Erwin, who was looking incredulous, alarmed at the situation. Levi didn't quite understand that, his arm pulling back, his fingers wrapping around his glass just to occupy his hand. His eyes met Erwin's, soon looking around at Eren again, seeing a blush hinting at his cheeks. "Why don't we get you another drink?" Levi's eyes went to Eren's wings again, until his wrist was taken, pulling his hand away from the glass, fingers threading through his own as he was pulled away, Eren no longer in his vision. 

Erwin didn't release his hand until Levi had downed his drink and his empty glass was replaced with another one. "What's with you?"  
"Nothing."  
"There's obviously something, Erwin." He leant back against the counter, looking at the other as he busied himself ordering a drink, getting it quickly. "Why'd you drag me away from Eren?"  
"Because I don't want you getting hurt anymore."  
"Erwin..."  
"No, Levi honestly. I can't watch that again." He was back on this after a week of not mentioning it and it hit him in the chest, Levi placing his drink down carefully on the counter come bar, Erwin reading his mind and his arms were soon round his shoulders, pulling him in for a tight hug.   
"I'm not going to get hurt, I promise."  
"How can you promise that when you still can't remember anything before the accident?"  
"Because you won't let me get hurt, that's how." Erwin pulled back, the hurt look on his face slowly changing to that of affection, his hand trailing over the shorter man's shoulder, up to his neck and over his jaw, Levi blinking with the one eye that was visible, searching Erwin's, looking for something he couldn't recall. "You'd never let that happen to me."  
"I let it happen before. You're this way because of me."  
"And I trust you've learnt from that mistake." He smiled a half-smile that used to only be reserved for Eren, in the times where he'd acted so blatantly like the stupid dork he was and amused him enough to pull a reaction from him. But now, his memory didn't have the filter that told him all his quirks and habits, Erwin's was garnering the reaction.   
"I have... I promise..." Levi went to pull away, Erwin's hand holding him firmly. The blond moved quickly. Levi felt his back meet the counter, being guided by a gentle hand, Erwin's other arm against his hip, pulling him in as he leant down. 

Levi's own hands had moved as his back met the counter, both resting on the other's arms, relaxing into the touch considerably, eyes having closed at the soft touch of the man's lips against his. It lasted for only a few seconds, Erwin pulling back but still pressed against Levi's front, still pushing him back into the counter so he couldn't escape. "I've been wanting to do that for so long." Erwin's lips were still hovering over his, his brain screamed at him to push him away, to get rid of the offending body and run for the hills. But his body was acting otherwise. His hands tightened on the man's forearms, that saying to Erwin to press his advantages as Levi shifted against him. Lips met his own again, the blond guiding his hands towards his neck. Levi, being a rather impressionable drunk, followed suit in the action, his right hand against Erwin's jaw, his other arm snaking around and pulling Erwin down to his level more, getting thoroughly lost in the action as his eyes closed and he felt hands against his hips, moving there gently.

Erwin pulled back, Levi's face slightly flushed as he blinked his eyes open, his right seeing white. It was finally starting to annoy him. He was still pressed against the front of the other, face angling to his chest, looking around and his eyes almost instantly landed on Eren. "Oh god."  
"What?" Erwin followed his gaze, his eyes settling on Eren as he turned away. Levi started to move, Erwin holding him in place. "There's no point, he saw."  
"I don't care, I need to explain."  
"Explain what? That we’re together? That won't end well."  
"We aren't together Erwin," Levi managed to work his way out of Erwin's grasp until a hand curled around his wrist, Levi thankful it wasn't the wrist that had the bracelet around it.   
"Levi, let's talk about this."  
"No, there's nothing to say. Let. Go." His tone was one that was dripping with command, his visible grey eye levelling Erwin with a stare that reinforced the words. He let go reluctantly, Levi dashing off the best he could given his legs didn't want to cooperate with the speed in which he wanted to walk. 

People moved for him, barely registering it as he headed outside, guessing Eren would be heading home away from the party. Away from  _ him _ . "Eren!!" He shouted the second he was outside, eye landing on the other and Armin.   
“Haven’t you hurt him enough?!” Armin hissed, the words hitting him in the heart as his voice box refused to work, no words forming in response to the accusation. He couldn't understand how this had happened, how Eren had seen, how Erwin had cornered him at just the ri-.... He'd been set up. 

They'd both been set up. 

“Eren, please. I didn’t ask for that. I didn’t  _ want  _ that. Please say something…” The pain in the teens face made his blood run cold. He'd put that there, he'd caused it without even realizing it.   
“I should—... I should never have waited. I’m such an idiot.”  
"No..." No no no. This couldn't be happening. It  _ wasn't _ happening. Any minute now he was going to wake up, it was all a bad dream.  
  
Fear overtook his body, his soul, it seeping on to his face, showing it loud and proud. It intensified as Eren reached up to the back of his neck, Levi taking a step forward and stopping himself.

When Armin spoke, Levi couldn’t quite catch it. But he could take a guess. He wanted to tackle the smug little mushroom to the floor and beat the obvious feeling of victory out of him, not wanting anyone, especially him, to encourage Eren to do what he was about to do. He relaxed considerably once Eren spoke, his hands falling as he said he couldn't do it, them both going on to speak entirely as if he wasn't there. He watched Armin drag Eren away, Levi stepping forwards and stopping again, body starting to shake at the words.  _ ‘I should never have waited.’ _ It resounded in his head as he saw Eren and Armin walk out of sight. He stayed where he was, starting to shiver in the cold night air, hearing the door open and close somewhere behind him. 

"Erwin if that's you I can't deal with your shit right now." There was no response, only footsteps and a set of arms covered in a white jacket snaking under his own and around his waist, hugging him tightly.   
"Hunny I'm so sorry."  
"I'm the one that's sorry. I did something stupid and he won’t forgive me for it. I don’t deserve forgiveness."  
"Of course you do. That wasn't your fault, Levi."  
"Yes, it was. I let him do it."  
"Sugar, don't blame yourself."  
"Who else can I blame?"  
"Erwin, given he's a manipulative bastard who takes pride in having nice trophies. Which is all you are to him. A conquest he never quite got to keep."  
"Hanji..." His voice was quiet, Levi turning his head to the left slightly to try and see her,  
"No. You listen to me boss,"  _ boss? _ "You are,  _ by far _ , better off without him. He's pressing his advantage on you because of how you are. Without your memories, you're easy pickings. He knows that. You would have ripped both his arms off for even  _ thinking _ of kissing you before any of this happened. Then you'd have reattached them, fetched Eren, and let him rip them off as well for good measure." That brought a sad smile to his lips. "I'm pro-Eren if you didn’t realise. So when you see him again you get on your knees and beg. Dignity be damned. That boy is the best thing that has ever happened to you and you beg him until you have no voice."  
"I don't think it would carry much weight right now, Hanji, I'm not the person he remembers."  
"But you will be. You'll remember, even if I have to drag you to that hospital and put you in front of a shrink to drag each and every memory up." He looked to the place in which he last saw Eren and Armin, hands already having moved while they were talking to Hanji's forearms. Minutes ticked by, Levi beginning to shiver. 

"Can you take me home?"  
"Sure hunny-bun, come on." She moved, threading her fingers through his and pulling him towards where they'd parked, foregoing telling anyone that they were leaving. Erwin would get the hint, she was sure of it. For now, Levi came first, and he needed to get home, she was sure that the alcohol pumping through his system couldn't be helping the situation in the slightest. He needed sleep, to forget about this for the few short hours he was unconscious to the world around him.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I've finished the whole thing now, so these are gonna start coming quicker than normal. I really didn't want to keep anyone waiting (NudeScientist I'm looking at you) with what's coming.
> 
> THIS DOES NOT GET BETTER.  
> ANGST ON ANGST LAYERED ON ANGST. If you thought the past angst was bad... oh boy, I'm so sorry.
> 
> Also sexy fun times at the end of the chapter.

He tossed and turned, once he was stripped to just pyjama bottoms and laid out in bed. The covers had been kicked to the bottom hours ago, being far too warm for them. His mind was reeling, thinking on what had happened, what his mind had pieced together after he’d got home. How he’d stared at his wrist for a good 10 minutes, sat on the edge of the sofa cushion as his fingers ran over the feathers he’d woven into a bracelet. He didn’t want to believe it, didn’t want to believe that they were fake wings Eren had against his back. But a part of him… a part of him begged it to be true. He’d ended up dreaming of a memory he’d already remembered, of Eren jumping off a building before his eyes, but this time, being propelled back up by strong, wide, blue-black wings, beckoning him to join. He’d startled awake at that particular dream, and it had led to his current situation. 

His head was thrumming with the start of what was surely a hangover, given just how many drinks he’d been mixing thanks to Hanji, who’d apologized for that and Eren again as he clambered out her SUV. Eventually, he gave up, heading out onto the balcony, wishful thinking as he shivered once the cold air of 3AM hit his bare chest and feet. He moved forwards towards the railings, hands meeting the cold metal as his head tilted upwards, half expecting to see a man with wings hovering above him in the night sky. It was ridiculous, it wasn’t real, and he needed to stop listening to the small part of his mind telling him he was being completely rational and that it could well happen. His hands clenched, staying there for a good 30 minutes, mind thoroughly on Eren, thinking over (again) on what happened that night, not being able to un-see the pain and hurt that marred Eren’s features. 

He’d been the one to put it there, and Eren certainly wasn’t going to give him the time of day to try and fix it. If Levi was the one he was waiting for, he’d screwed that up completely. Or had he? He frowned as he thought the words, questioning himself. It wasn’t exactly like Eren had been the most faithful, hell, he’d seen Armin’s neck and there wasn’t anywhere other than Eren’s mouth they could have come from, as far as he knew. They seemed far too cosy together whenever they were in the same space, not caring for personal space, the odd touches, the hand-holding, the constant comforting nature Armin gave him. And most of all, the boyfriend vibe and the ‘back off or else’ speech and the glares Levi had been receiving for weeks. One kiss. That was it… okay, two kisses in the space of as many seconds. But that was it. That was all he’d done. Eren knew for a damn fact he wasn’t himself, that he couldn’t remember a damn thing before the accident that made him this way. He couldn’t remember Eren at all, couldn’t remember  _ anyone at all _ . Erwin had been there for him, he’d stood by him, made sure he was alright, and that he was coping. Eren? He’d been nowhere in sight, of course, he was going to gravitate towards the one constant that had helped reassure him, helped get him back on his feet, had taken him home after waking up in a hospital of all places.

Hanji was right. He couldn’t be blamed for this. He was incapable of recalling anything other than the past few months. He couldn’t be accountable for something he just didn’t remember. Even if it was a relationship he was forgetting. If Eren had been there when he’d woke up, or the two weeks afterwards, it might have been different. He wasn’t sure of himself, but he knew… he knew he’d have gone straight to Eren, and Eren to him like he was the sweetest drink and food in the world. He’s gained a frown, his hands gripping the railing as he thought on it, as his mind tried to get him out of the pain, forcing it on to Eren, since it was clearly all the teens fault. A part of him couldn’t help but side with Eren though, Levi had hurt him, and he couldn’t get away from that. He’d put the pain there. But his mind couldn’t help doing a complete loop and going back to the fact that they were never actually official. If anything, they’d led each other on with the kisses and the touches and waking up together. But they were never together for any of it, they weren’t a couple, they weren’t romantically involved, as far as he was concerned anyway. He couldn’t remember their relationship after all. But that still didn’t stop the fact he’d caused the other pain, and that was something his mind told him was something that wasn’t forgivable, that he deserved the mess he’d got himself into.

And so the loop went on. 

And on.

And on.

Until he was curled up on a lounger that was on his balcony, one pillow under his back, another behind his head, a fluffy blanket over his body to fend off the cold wind, fast asleep, head angled towards the sky.

* * *

Monday morning rolled around quickly, Levi barely remembering Sunday in the slightest, other than Hanji coming round from lunchtime and going home around 10PM to let him get sleep. She’d fended off Erwin all day Sunday, and made sure to keep him occupied at stupid o’clock in the morning to stop him coming to pick him up to take him to work, and promised to do the same for lunchtime. At least he’d stopped brooding, that was the main positive. Connie had kept his mind firmly on anything but Eren, occupying him with tasks that made him think, pushing all thought but work from his mind. That was, until just after lunchtime, Armin walked into the shop, Levi glancing at him and not acknowledging him further, staying thoroughly in his own world wiping down the tables and getting the shop floor presentable. He glanced up, seeing Armin talking to Connie, it seemed a rather serious conversation given Connie’s stern and pensive look. He gathered his tray and placed everything on it that needed taking away from the next table, wandering towards the counter at a rather slow pace, not wanting to hear Armin’s voice, words, or anything regarding the blond, if he was honest. He could see the marks on his neck, and he could gather where they were from. 

“Last time he tried to kill himself. And now he’s gone, and no-one’s seen him at HQ, and I don’t know what to do…” That made him stop, slowly placing the tray behind Connie, his back towards them.   
“I’m sure everything will be alright, you just need to calm down.” He turned as Connie spoke.  
“Who’s missing?” Both males looked in his direction, Levi’s eyes on Armin’s for a fraction before he knew he wouldn’t answer, rounding on Connie.  
“Eren.” Levi’s face paled more than it already was, giving him a rather grey look about him. Eren was missing? Why? How?  
“How does that even happen? Weren’t you with him??”  
“I didn’t see him leave. I was asleep when he left.” His hands balled into fists, the words that Eren had tried to kill himself before thrumming through his mind.  
“He… He tried… and you weren’t watching him like a  _ hawk!? _ ” his voice raised, several people looking around to the three of him, Connie interjecting and pushing Levi backwards slightly. 

“Levi, calm down.”  
“How the hell am I supposed to calm down?!”  
“Just, breathe. Don’t make me force you out of here. Because I’ll give it a damn good go.” Levi glared daggers at him, then to Armin, who looked on the verge of tears, Connie followed his gaze, looking back to Armin but staying at Levi’s side as he tried to work through the fact Eren had tried to kill himself however long ago. “Do you have any idea where he might be?” Armin shook his head.  
“If he was wherever he is willingly, he’d have checked in by now. He doesn’t ever not check-in, Connie.”  
“Are people looking for him?”  
“90% of HQ. Hanji is on it personally.” Levi, who had started to stare at the floor as if it held the answer to the universe, snapped his gaze back up to Armin.  
“Hanji is involved?” Armin nodded, looking around as the door to the coffee shop opened, a freckled teen heading through the door, looking flustered and out of breath.

“Marco… What’s wrong?”  
“We found him. It’s not pretty.” He handed over the folder that had been in his hands. Levi started to take the apron off himself, heading around the counter, Connie quick to follow. Marco levelled him with a stare, Levi ignoring it.  
“Oh god… it’s…” Levi’s hands had taken the file before Armin could even protest, anger set within the lines of his face, barely controlling himself as he read the folder, not being able to find out where this warehouse complex was.  
“He’s giving you lead on this. Whoever you need, they’ll be with you within 20 minutes.”  
“Get Jean. Mikasa too. Anyone else who wants to help join. I’ll leave now, I’ll meet you there.” Grey eyes finally found the location, it wasn’t too far from here, and he could get there within the hour if he left right that second. And ran. “Levi, give me the folder?”  
“I’m coming with you, you don’t need it back.”  
“You are  _ not  _ coming with me.”  
“You can’t stop me. I know where this place is.” He really hoped that Armin didn’t call his bluff on that... “And if your backup isn’t going to be with you until however long, you need help.”  
“No, you stay right here. You're the reason they took him in the first place because he's been protecting you all this time." Levi frowned, folder almost being screwed up as his hands clenched, not quite into fists. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that…”

“Yes, you did. But that only reinforces my statement. I  _ owe _ him. Nothing you can say will change my mind or make me feel guiltier than I already do.”  
“You’re not going to be able to get there in time.”  
“I’ll just hitch a ride with you.” Everyone was looking at him now, Connie having disappeared and reappeared with Sasha at that point, Armin staring him down.  
“You don’t want to open that can of worms.”   
“Try me.” Levi and Armin stared at each other for a good 30 seconds, the blond clearly deciding if Levi was being serious.  
“You can ride with Sasha. I’m sure you trust her most in the room aside from Connie. Marco? Go. We need all the help we can muster. Connie, get everyone out. Close up.” Connie didn’t hesitate, moving to clear everyone out as quickly as he could. “Sasha, you better enlighten the Lance Corporal.” Levi raised an eyebrow as Armin spoke at him, but to Sasha, the title he was called confusing him.   
“Really Armin?”  
“He’s going to remember soon enough Sasha. In fact, wait till you have room.”

Everyone was soon cleared out and they were heading out the door, heading out and across the street, Sasha at Levi’s side, keeping close to him, Connie had given him a small sword to defend himself with, and the weapon felt familiar in his hand, twirling it at his side absently as he moved, Connie smiling at the very Levi gesture. Once they were out of sight, Armin and Connie stepped back, Sasha taking a deep breath, looking at Levi who stood between them all. “Ready?”  
“Ready for what exactly? Shouldn’t we be heading for your car?”  
“I can’t drive, Levi.”   
“Of course you can, you live on the other side of the city, how else would you get here every other day?”   
“Like this.” A heartbeat later, his heart clenched, seeing a pair of stunningly beautiful pale blue wings unfurl from Sasha’s back, Levi stumbling back a few steps.  
“Holy mother of…”  
“Don’t panic.” She lifted her hands, staying where she was but a look of concern pulling on to her face as Levi’s hand clenched his shirt over his chest. “Just breathe. You’re fine. I’m not going to hurt you, none of us are.”   
“You’re… You’ve…”  
“Got wings, yeah. Honestly, it’s not a big deal, we all have here.” Levi whipped his head around, seeing Armin and Connie both sporting a set of their own wings, the colours somewhat similar, though Connie’s a shade and two darker. Levi didn’t quite catch the reference to the fact Sasha said they all had them, Levi obviously included. His eyes blinked rapidly, looking back to Sasha, who’d moved closer.

Blue-black wings, wrapping around him, protecting him from harm, from the world. Blood covering a face he’d grown familiar with, tears making a wet track in the red liquid, it dripped from his nose onto Levi’s chest. He groaned, hands covering his eyes as he shook, Sasha’s hand on him, trying to ground him. “Levi? Levi, look at me, come on.” He pulled his hands away, his eyes huge, pupils blown right out, his eyes searching hers. “Calm down, nothing is going to hurt you, I promise. We won’t let that happen.” She held her right hand out, her left still on his arm, a gesture to say that he should take her hand. “You have my word.” He looked to it, then back to her, his hand, though somewhat hesitantly, being placed within hers. 

“Good. We don’t have much time.” Armin nodded, soon taking off into the air with Connie, Sasha waiting a moment, before pulling Levi to her.

A ten-minute flight later, Levi clinging for dear life as various images flashed before his eyes of the wind whipping through his hair, of seeing Eren airborne on blue-black wings against the night sky of New York City. Of them both sat on the tallest tower they could find, watching the world go by. “Never. Ever. Again.” He stumbled away from Sasha slightly, grip now firmly back on the hilt of the sword Connie had given him to use, just in case.   
“You get used to it.”  
“I’ll take your word for it. I’ll walk back thanks.” Sasha laughed, moving with Levi to meet with the other two.  
“People will be here within twenty minutes, but I don’t want to risk waiting any longer. They’ll know we’re here.”  
“Twenty?”  
“They’ve got to be found, then get here. It’ll take them longer than what Marco said.”  
“So what? We’re just going to head in guns blazing?” Sasha spoke, standing at Levi’s side like she was his second in command, a step behind him and to his right, Armin didn’t miss it.  
“I’d rather not go storming in while Levi is with us.”  
“I’m going in, Armin.”  
“I know but I’d have preferred back up first.”

He felt like his brain was in overdrive, having been standing quite openly staring at Connie’s wings. The man didn’t seem to mind, having flexed them a few times when he first noticed. Levi’s eyes were focused on the feathers, how they overlapped, how they felt. The latter of which he knew from Halloween. They weren’t fake wings Eren had been sporting. His hand went to his wrist, fiddling with the bracelet of feathers there. It was all starting to hit him, to come back from wherever it was buried. But nothing important, odd things of day to day. Leaving a cake for Eren on his desk; going to lunch; Himself and Eren training. 

"I did. I knew the risks, just get on with it."

He followed Armin in, staying close with Sasha behind him, and gripping the short sword in his hand tighter, wondering why they were meeting next to no resistance on their way in. Was that normal? It didn’t feel like it should be normal. They headed through, Levi tensing the closer they got to where they all knew Eren would be. As they rounded a corner, gasps were heard and they all stopped, Levi almost bumping in to Armin. "Corporal! You came back." He stopped dead as her voice drew his gaze to her, from Eren’s beaten on the floor. Her face was a happy one, and his brain screamed for him to run, to get out of the warehouse before anything could happen. To leave the whole lot of them and save himself. His body took a step back, the movement of her boot making his vision look to Eren, seeing the chain from the collar. Something in him snapped at the sight, Levi moving closer as Armin did. 

_ How dare she put a lead on what belonged to  _ **_him_ ** .

"No..." Armin’s single word made his breath hitch in his throat, the anger peaking as he regarded the scene before him.  
"Look, Eren, he came back for you." The noise that hit his ears gripped his heart, his mind starting to race, grip increasing on the hilt of the blade within his right hand. The teen looked so broken and beaten, it made him flinch, seeing himself flash through his eyes as the broken and beaten one.  
"L-Levi… no… why? I don't… don't deserve... anything... anymore..."  
“Eren…” Levi took a step forward, eyes on Eren’s face, his eyes barely seeing any of them from the looks of things, staring past their feet. His eyes looked at Petra, his mind whirring and clicking things in place. “Petra…”   
“Aww look he remembers me. What else does he remember?” His eyes were glued on Petra, the aura that he could feel, setting his soul tingling with apprehension. Every ounce of his body was telling him to run.   
“You… The accident…”   
“That was no accident, Levi, you brought that on yourself.” He flinched, taking a step back, Sasha instantly at his side, a hand on the small of his back for a small piece of support. 

_ He was being held by a demon, arms around his neck, Eren before him, covered in blood. _

“How much have you recovered? Do you remember being thrown I wonder?”

His hands started to shake minutely, his eyes opening. “You don’t want him.”  
“Oh?”  
“You want me. Let him go. I’ll stay, just let him go.”  
“Lance Corporal, what’re y-.” Levi raised his free hand to Armin, silencing him, his eyes fixed on Petra.   
“The thing is, Levi. I do rather want the both of you now.” His frown became more prominent in the lines of his face. Flashes occurred behind his eyes every now and then, Armin stepped forwards and passed him. The mushroom spoke, Petra responding a few times, but Levi wasn’t listening. He was more focused on what was happening in his brain.   
“Levi? We need you to focus.” He couldn’t, he could only just hear Sasha’s words. How could he focus when everything was hitting him left right and center? “Just remember who Eren is. That’s all you need. Focus.” She spoke quietly at his side, he vaguely heard his name from Petra’s lips, but he was beyond caring right now.

_ Eren’s face lying next to him.  
_ _ Eren asleep, having a nightmare, his voice soothing the pain away.  
_ _ Eren bringing him breakfast in bed. _

_ Eren diving after him as he was thrown from the window of a third-story building.  
_ _ White wings spread out under him, at full span, broken and beaten and half destroyed. _

Petra’s eyes were on him as he opened his own, a grey stare levelling her, Levi somewhat thankful Sasha was still at his side. He rolled his shoulders, an ache starting to build.   
“Get your filthy boot,  _ off  _ him.” His voice alone stopped all movement, and he could guess who was behind them.

And with that, Lance Corporal Levi Rivaille, was back… Or thereabouts, at the moment.

Petra’s face fell, still having thought that Levi was the empty shell of a man whose memories were lost, who wasn’t able to remember anything that had happened. “Yeah? What’cha gonna do?” Her voice was taunting, teasing Levi into action, Levi’s body tensing. He heard his name shouted, and without a second thought he’d launched himself forwards, short sword in his right hand, his fist hit Petra’s shoulder as his left hand curled into her jacket, dragging her to the floor, off of Eren’s body, jostling him slightly as he didn’t manage to get her to drop the chain lead quick enough. They rolled, Petra getting him to drop the sword, it clattering to the floor as everyone in the room began to move. He heard Hanji’s voice, saw her out of the corner of his eye pulling a demon away from himself and Petra by the throat. “You.  _ You _ do not get to  _ touch _ him.” He was straddling her, his hands flying to her exposed throat, her own hands grabbing his bare forearms.   
“I don’t want to hurt him, Levi!” He snarled at her voice, strained as she gasped for air that she didn’t technically need.   
“Bullshit!” Her legs moved quickly, jostling him enough that it sent Levi stumbling sideways, his arms slipping from her throat. She was on him then, a knife of her own in her hands, pinning him to the floor.   
“I want him on our side as well Levi! You both belong with me, with your  _ family _ .”  
“You are  _ not _ my family!” His hand whipped up and threaded into her hair, pulling her head backwards to the point where she let a hiss escape her teeth. The knife caught his cheek slightly as she flailed in an attempt to do more harm.  
“Levi,  _ ahhh _ .” He continued to pull backwards, drawing his hand further towards his body, her head going right along with it, her back arching with the movement. Then suddenly, his arm whacked the floor, his hand empty and the weight over him was gone. 

The demons in the room where next to follow suit, every last one of them, Petra in the middle of the small group, appearing near the door. She leveled Levi with a gaze that clearly said none of this was over, and then smoke billowed, heading out of every exit, whooshing past them. Levi flinched as several torrents of smoke raced past him, the man instinctively covering his eyes. Once he opened them, his breath began to become labored, leaning on his right side, facing into the warehouse before them. His eyes began to lose their focus, and he saw Eren sat upright with Armin, eyes closed, the chain no longer clipped to the front of the collar around his neck. It made him smile, a small smile as he was thankful it had been removed, he looked more like  _ his _ again, now there was no lead betraying the image of the collar he’d placed around the neck of the other. Everything hit him there, of Eren saying he shouldn’t have waited for him, of Erwin’s lips on his as he set them up. Of the feathers around his wrist. Of Armin working with Erwin to make sure the goals they set were reached. He groaned outwardly, his eyes sliding shut and he heard booted feet heading in his direction. “Levi? Look at me!”  
“Hanji…”  
“Yeah I’m here.” She helped him sit up, his body starting to shake. 

He started shaking within Hanji’s hands, not being able to stop his brain from trying to protect itself from the memories that were threatening to flood his mind. 

“Levi? Hunny! Stay with me!” He felt hands on his shoulder keeping him sat upright, Hanji now holding his hands, trying to be some sort of lifeline as he phased from awareness to not comprehending his surroundings. It was all too much, just too much for his brain to handle. 

_ “Least it’s something good you’re feeling.”  
_ _ “Damn good.” His voice was breathy, tongue poking out and licking his lips, wanting nothing more than to just  _ **_look.  
_ ** _ “No. Eyes on me Rivaille.” His eyes opened, having tried to move his head with his eyes closed.   
_ _ “I want…”  
_ _ “You’re not looking.”   
_ _ “No… You don’t understand… what… I want…” His eyes searched Eren’s, feeling the intense desire brought on by his mind, the visions he’d got glimpses of, fragmented into some sort of montage. “I fucking  _ **_want you.”_ ** _ Without stopping himself, or Eren stopping him for that matter, he tilted his head, their lips meeting, but not in a fierce lust filled way like last time. This was different, like they’d been doing it years, like it was second nature. Their mouths slotted together, both sets of eyes fluttering closed as their lips moved slowly against each other, Levi’s tongue quick to ask for entrance, Eren granting it without thinking. He felt the weight against his back shift away, and he shivered, a moan getting lost within the kiss.  _

“Levi!!” Erwin’s voice now, sounding in his ears, feeling the male behind him.  
“Oh god, he’s bleeding.” Was that what that was trickling from his nose? Blood? Why was it doing that? Petra hadn’t hit his nose. “Hunny, fight it, stay with us.” His eyes blinked sluggishly, head falling back against Erwin’s shoulder, Levi’s back pressed against the man's chest, eyes leveling with Hanji’s own panicked expression.   
“Erwin... you…” His body shook, not being able to get out the warning as his shoulder seized up and his wings burst from his back, sending Erwin flying backwards a short way, a grunt sounding from his lips as he landed. His wings instantly curled, instantly shielding him, and ultimately Hanji from view. She glanced around, her own wings pulling towards her back quickly, flattening them as much as she could.   
“Hunny, it’s ok, nothing is going to hurt you.”  
“Hanji I can’t stop it.” The shaking was now beyond his control, Hanji’s grip on his hand increasing as he began to taste blood as the track made its way over his top lip. His eyes fluttered.

“Don’t you  _ dare _ Corporal. You are walking out of here. Don’t you dare do this!” He forced his eyes to open, forced himself to stay conscious when he wanted nothing more than to sink into the blissful feeling of blackness that came with falling unconscious. “That’s right. You’re a fighter. You bloody  _ fight _ this.” Hanji glanced to his wings, the white beauties still encircling them both, shielding them from all eyes. “Come on, you need to get on your feet. Don’t disappoint me, come on.” She let go, Levi feeling her hands under his arms, against his ribs and circling around him, pulling him up bodily into a standing position. He wobbled, hands coming up to grab her with a grip that was like steel, despite the way he looked and felt. “That’s right, come on, you can get out of here. She isn’t going to make you leave unconscious.”   
“Hanji… I…”  
“Shut up, you’re doing this. Don’t question me!” She laughed a little, seeing his wings receded slowly as his feet started to step. He could feel eyes on them, an arm around the woman’s waist, his right hand against the side that was pressed against his own as her arm went around his shoulder, hand gripping just under his arm.   
“Move people, now. We need to get out of here.” Erwin’s commanding voice sounded behind him, and hurried feet met his ears. He wasn’t even focusing on anyone or anything in the room other than Hanji, determined to at least leave the building on two feet.

He groaned, his eyes closing as he was pulled to his feet. “What the hell did I just say? You keep walking damn it.” He stuttered in his movements, being one of the last out of the building, and as the cool air hit his face, as they stepped in to the slowly vanishing sunlight, his eyes closed and he stopped, making the woman stop with him.  
“Hanji… I can’t… I can’t fly…”   
“You made it out, that’s the only thing I asked.”  
“Can I…”   
“Erwin!” Hanji shouted, catching the man’s attention.   
“No… Hanji, not him...”   
“No one else will be able to Levi, the second I can get you out of his grasp, I assure you, you will be. Sleep, Levi, it’ll be better when you wake.” His world faded to black, feeling Hanji’s grip loosen, then slip from him, feeling his body fall sideways into strong, waiting arms.

His eyes cracked open, hearing beeping sounding around him, his brain sluggish, but vaguely registering the room as a hospital room, the bed not nearly as comfy as it probably could have been. “Finally, only took you all day.” His eyes shifted to Hanji, who was sat, looking extremely tired, in a chair pulled right up to his bedside.  
“Captain.”  
“Lance Corporal.” She smiled, looking happy despite looking like she’d not slept. “It’s good to be able to call you that again. Your name’s weird.”  
“Look who’s talking.” She smirked, Levi attempting to sit up, Hanji quickly moving to assist him, pressing a button on a remote after pushing him back down, raising the bed so he could still lie, but in a 45-degree angle.  
“Was starting to think you weren’t going to wake up.”   
“I wouldn’t want to disappoint you four-eyes.”   
“Damn straight,” Levi smirked, his hands finding his face, rubbing his palms against his eyes, then sliding his hands along his face, dropping them to his sides. “I’ve got to ask.”  
“He’s… I’m not going to lie to you, it’s not good.”   
“But he’s alive.”  
“He’s alive, yes. Physically stable, yes. Mentally stable? That’s a whole other can of worms.” He sighed through his nose, looking to the ceiling. “Don’t blame yourself for this.”   
“It’s my fault Hanji. I pushed it. I pressed...”  
“Levi…”   
“No. Hanji… just don’t.” She fell silent, and the minutes ticked by, Levi staring up at the ceiling, Hanji idly checking his vitals while he was awake, being rather subtle about it until she grabbed his wrist, Levi letting her do whatever checks she needed to do to assure herself he was alright since if she asked, she knew he’d just say he was fine regardless. 

“I’ve got to run through a few more checks if that's ok? Memory wise.”   
“Sure. Whatever you need to do.” 

About 20 minutes later, she was leaving with a clipboard in hand. It hadn’t been a long test, and there were still gaps in his memory. For example, he couldn’t remember the night his wings broke through for the first time. It had frustrated him. Everytime he got near to the memory, it seemed to move further away. He knew his name, where he lived, and the address of HQ. Mainly anything from the last decade he seemed to remember, anything prior to that seemed lost. 

He couldn’t sit in this bed doing nothing, he had to see him. Had to see the damage with his own eyes. He pushed himself out of bed, pulling cables from him as he did so. Thankfully, he was only hooked up to monitors and didn’t have a cannula in his hand or anything. He put the slippers on that were next to the bed and headed out the room. It didn’t take him all that long to find out where they were keeping Eren, pushing the door open carefully and spotting Armin next to his bed. 

The sigh made anger curl in his stomach, made his hands clench, but he let it side. He was glad that someone was with him… Even if it was this manipulative little mushroom that he wanted to punch quite badly. Armin had turned to look at him as he leaned just next to the doorway, closing the door, right next to the window so he couldn’t be seen from the outside as people walked past. 

“Why are you here? You don’t belong here anymore, sir.”   
“Arlett, I swear to god, don’t test me.” Armin levelled him with a look that clearly said ‘this is your fault’, and Levi gave him a blank look. “Try it, see just where your next comment gets you.” The blond stayed quiet, looking back to Eren’s unconscious form.  
“How long are you going to stand there?”  
“For as long as it takes for him to wake. Get used to it, kid.” He stared towards Eren’s unconscious form, sadness overtaking his anger as he watched. He heard the slight whimpers, heard the noises this stupid brat shouldn’t be making. He folded his arms, his body going tense, his gaze dropping to the floor at the foot of Eren’s bed.

He didn’t want to see him like this, but he felt like he owed it to him to stay, to make damn sure he opened his eyes that he was at least ok, even if he wasn’t mentally sound anymore. Even if he never wanted to see him again. Levi just couldn’t let that go, and he looked up again, seeing the collar still around Eren’s neck, both being grateful it was still there, and wondering how long after Eren woke he would be taking it off. He remembered his hands going to take it off, he heard the words that followed. Eren had had enough, and he clearly wanted Levi to feel the pain that he’d been feeling these past months. And seeing the scene between himself and Erwin, well it probably hadn’t helped Eren’s current state in the slightest. Levi wanted nothing more than to apologise for it, but he knew he wouldn’t be heard, not now, not yet.

The sound of voices made Eren flinch again in his fitful sleep, a flex of his wings pushing the covers back and off him. He rolled over onto his other side, and then turned back again, his knees tucking into his chest. 

“Eren, you’re awake. You’re safe.” His eyes went to Armin as he moved to his feet, wanting to comfort the other and not being able to. “She can’t hurt you anymore.”  
“No!” It cut through him like a knife, his hands gripping tighter against his upper arms. “Please... Please just stop. Don’t make me see them again, not when none of this is real. Hurt me again instead. Kill me, I don’t care… I know I don’t… don’t deserve to live, not after everything I did to them. Just kill me, Petra. Please. Please... just stop using him against me...” As Eren’s words hit his ears, his eyes closed, and an unsteady breath was taken. He couldn’t, he just couldn’t do this. Petra had obviously used him against Eren in the two days he was taken. He felt Armin’s eyes on him, and he shook his head, not looking at the other.  
“I can’t. I’m making this worse. Look after him Armin or so  _ help me god _ .” He pushed off the wall, thankful he didn’t have his wings to worry about as he opened the door and slipped out, anger and pain marring his face, not having been able to look at both of the males in the room. The sight of Eren crying and shaking in the bed just pushing him to the edge. He couldn’t take it.

He strode back to his room, hands clenched into fists. He couldn’t handle this, he couldn’t do it. When Eren’s hand had flown to his throat in search of the collar, relaxing when he found it there, it had made his heart clench, and the panicking, the fact that his presence in the room was making it worse. His anger knew no bounds when he thought on Petra, what she’d done,  _ how _ she’d gone about this. Honestly, people would have to get in line behind him to kill her. He wasn’t going to be giving anyone else that satisfaction if he had anything to do with it. 

His wings  _ ached _ , wanting nothing more than to reveal themselves and let him take flight, to run from this situation. But he wasn’t the Levi he had been for the past few months, he was Lance Corporal, and  _ that _ Levi, that Levi didn’t run. He didn’t run away and his body wouldn’t let him. But if Eren didn’t get better… he didn’t know what he’d do. He couldn’t deal with that, he couldn’t take it, and Eren clearly couldn’t take it the other way around either. Levi wanted nothing more than to find out what exactly happened, what had pushed Eren to the point where he’d tried to take his own life. He could guess, but his brain wanted confirmation, he needed to know for sure.

Hanji would be back soon, and the second she was, he needed to leave. He needed to get out of this hospital. If Eren were to see him again, it wouldn’t help his recovery, and that was the priority. Eren’s health was first and foremost. Bar his brain hurting, the splitting headache he had, and feeling rather weak, he was fine, and he wanted to get back and start recovering properly himself, and he couldn’t do that in the walls of this hospital. Not when he would want nothing more than to go see Eren, and he couldn’t do that. He couldn’t do that to the other, he cared about him too much.

  
  
  
The scream of Armin’s voice pierced his ears, Levi stopping his pacing, eyes staring to the door, his face paling. That scream couldn’t be good. His feet had already carried him to the door, seeing the last of the medical personnel filter into Eren’s room. His hand clutched the door frame, his eyes worried, his face blank. He took a few more steps forwards, his body wanting nothing more than to show him the room, but his mind and body were conflicting. His body was telling him a firm ‘no’ to seeing the room but his mind was screaming to go in. His ears could hear the beeping, could hear Eren’s heart rate, and he didn’t want to see why that had happened. He was close to the door now, his feet having carried him, and soon enough, Hanji’s face filled his vision, the woman pushing him backwards, “Oh hell no.” He allowed her to push him back to his room, sitting him on the bed and shaking her head. “He’s fine, he’s fine. Just... You aren’t going near that room.”  
“Hanji, I need to.”   
“What you need is to either stay here or go home.”   
“Hanji…”  
“Levi, no. It’s for both your sakes. Just, please?” He stared at her from where he had been sitting down on the edge of the bed, “I know it’s hard to hear, but I don’t think you should see him right now.” The words stopped his heart, making it skip a beat, making his breath hitch and his eyes close. “Levi, it’s for the best.”  
“Please help him. Look after him. He needs you in that room right now. Not a bunch of idiots.”  
“They know what they’re doing.”  
“But they aren’t  _ you _ .” Her face froze, not knowing how to feel. “I don’t trust anyone else to look after him Hanji, Armin comes close, but you’re the only one I can trust right now. Please…” She nodded slowly, moving towards him, in between his legs and pulling him against her, hugging him tightly.   
“Everything in my power, whatever it takes. I won’t leave his side.”   
“Thank you.” They stayed like that a moment, before Hanji pulled away, a hand touching his face gently before she left the room, Levi’s grey eyes watching her leave sadly, his hands curling into fists at his sides, into the cover that was covering the bed.  
  


* * *

  
He was released the next day, heading back to the apartment that had been set up for him while he was ‘human’, not being able to face going back to where he and Eren live, or used to live, since he’d recently learnt that Armin had moved in with him in his place. It made him angry, somewhat, but he couldn’t help but be thankful, too, thankful Eren hadn’t been alone, even if it was the mushroom giving his company all too willingly. It was annoying, being told he couldn’t go and see the other, but not that that stopped him. He’d ended up heading there a few times, when he was meeting someone from HQ, them not permitting him to travel there until he was fully recovered and cleared by Hanji’s insane standards. 

It hadn’t sat well with him, that the other seemed ecstatic to see him, but caught the flare of sadness that followed when he’d had to leave the room, never being able to stay long in fear of getting caught. It wasn’t until he was kept in overnight towards the end of the first week, that he managed to see the other for longer than ten minutes. Hanji had discovered a wonderful thing that she just couldn’t not question.

“Why?”  
“Because.”  
“Levi that’s not an answer.”   
“Because I can?”   
“Still not an answer.” He stood, leaning against the table at the end of the bed, arms folded, looking to the door. “Do you… feel… ok?”   
“I feel fine.”   
“Then why aren’t you…”   
“Because I don’t see the need?”  
“But…”  
“Hanji it’s not a big deal.”  
“It’s a huge deal!!” She folded her arms as well, an incredulous look on her face as he looked up to meet her eyes. “I mean honestly. You love it.”  
“Just because I’m not using my wings, doesn’t mean I don’t like using them,” Hanji frowned, clearly not understanding. “I just can’t bring myself to.”   
“How have you been getting here?”  
“Driving the car Erwin gave me when I left the hospital after losing my memories. I didn’t remember then, but I know how to drive now...”  
“You've been  _ driving _ here, every time?” Levi fixed her with a blank stare. “Do they still hurt?” He shook his head, “then I don’t understand the problem.”   
“I just can’t bring myself to, alright?” She wanted to question it, and medically, she had to.   
“If it doesn’t bother you, let me see them.” Their eyes locked again, Levi having looked away, Hanji giving him a challenging look. Levi couldn’t say no.

White wings burst from his back, knocking over a heart rate machine, it crashing to the floor, Levi flinching slightly and giving her an apologetic look. “Well, that’s what you get when you don’t use them.” They  _ ached _ , not having been used in almost a week. He was the only one on the whole floor that didn’t have his wings out, everyone had given him strange looks on it, but he hadn’t acknowledged them. In all fairness, he’d just got used to not using them while he didn’t have his memories. It would take some easing back in, that and he couldn’t bear the thought of flying without Eren by his side. “You’ve got to stretch them, all that time without using them isn’t good, you know. Your left one was broken in two places, they haven’t been properly stretched since before you left, because I didn’t get a chance to stretch it while you were unconscious. Promise me you’ll use them, at least just stretch them out every once in awhile, if you aren’t going to fly.”

That night, after hiding his wings once Hanji left him to it, he headed to Eren’s room, quietly slipping into the room, closing the door carefully and seeing Eren on his own, fast asleep. He took in the Nephilim’s sleeping form, placing three white feathers, from his earlier showing of his wings, on the male’s bedside table, sitting down in the chair, careful to not make any noise. He sat there for several hours, until the light started to seep through the blinds covering the window, Eren having slept somewhat soundly the whole night, wondering if they had him on anything to help him sleep. He’d seen the other move closer, towards the edge of the bed of the side that Levi was on, his eyes fixing on the collar as he’d done so, smiling slightly at the sight. 

It didn’t seem right, to him at least, that Eren be left on his own while sleeping, someone should be with him, to watch over him in case he needed anything, or something happened that needed to be controlled. Once the other started to stir, he was quick to head out the room before Eren had a chance to see him sat there or leave, closing the door carefully behind him and heading back towards his room, falling asleep on top of the covers, for the few hours leading up to 10AM.  
  


* * *

  
A week later, he was heading up the floors, opting to take the stairs. He hated these meetings but knew they were necessary in the fact that Erwin wasn’t going to authorize him being back hunting until Hanji gave the say so. It was annoying, awkward, and they never ended well, since something always got brought up that made him want to just leave the room, mainly Eren, or his wings. Wings of which he still hadn’t used. He’d not been happy, at one point, and had vented considerably to Hanji, Eren not having been there when he should have been when he’d passed his room. He’d wanted to see him, even if it was just through the window, but Hanji had informed him he’d been discharged. He’d left before their session had ended, that day.

So, as he walked up to the medical floor, he was spinning a set of keys around his fingers, having driven himself again. His mind was elsewhere, on the fact he barely had anything to do with his days, not being able to hunt; no longer at the coffee shop; something he was going to bring up to Hanji today. If he wasn’t hunting, he wanted to be doing  _ something _ . He was soon walking down the corridor to Hanji’s office, keys still spinning around his fingers, eyes on the floor. “See you next time, Hanji.” His eyes looked up, his feet slowing as their eyes met briefly, the door had closed behind Eren, his eyes soon directing to the floor, walking past him silently. Levi’s feet had stopped as Eren had got closer, his body turning to face him as he passed by. 

“Eren…” Said male stopped, Levi gripping his keys tighter in his hand. Like hell he was letting him walk past without even a simple greeting. “Not even a greeting? Really? Just saying 'afternoon' would have sufficed.”  
“No, sir.” The words stung, the formality sounding foreign from Eren’s lips, not his usual affectionate tone that he was so used to. Before he’d lost his memories, of course, “I've already... already caused you enough pain." He watched Eren’s hand thread into his hair, gripping as he spoke further. "I'm sorry you had to see me like that."  
“Eren…” He took a step forward, closing the gap slightly, but there was still considerable space between them. He blamed himself for all this, and that wasn’t acceptable. “You’ve…” He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath, before letting it out slowly. “Don’t think that… None of this is your fault.” It was his, and he knew it. He’d pushed Eren, he’d let himself be set up. He shouldn’t have been drinking. He shouldn’t have let himself be put in that position. His eyes were back on Eren’s, the blank look slowly turning to a look of sadness. “Don’t… Don’t apologize. It’s not your fault I pushed you.”  
"All of this is my fault. All of it. I should have listened to Erwin when he told me to stay away from you until your memories came back normally. Two weeks wasn't long enough... I couldn't help myself from pushing it because I wanted you back so much... and now I don't deserve that anymore. Not after what I said. I promised to wait... and I..." His hand gripped the keys more, feeling the metal dig into his palm. Did he really think he’d stopped waiting? How could he even think that clearly with that leather around his neck?

“But you haven’t stopped waiting Eren. Anyone can see that.  _ I _ can see that. You are still wearing it. If you weren’t, you would have taken it off, like you almost did outside that coffee shop.” His clenched hand gestured, even though Eren’s hands were covering his face, something he didn’t like seeing, but he knew he had no right to tell him to stop. His face became more saddened, it hurt him to even try and think what was going through Eren’s mind right now.  
"I will  _ never _ take it off. Not unless you tell me to. But that doesn't change what I did to you." Levi’s brain couldn’t handle the fact of how close to tears Eren was, he didn’t want to make the other cry. He never wanted to gain that reaction. "What I did to Armin, what I made him do because he couldn't stand to see me like that."

As their eyes met, pain flooded his system, he didn’t want this. He didn’t want any of this. He wanted nothing more than to drag Eren forwards and hug him as tight as he could. Levi’s feet took another step forwards, seeing Eren stepping back. “You couldn’t make anyone do anything they didn’t want to do Eren.” He flexed his hands, keys around his middle finger, the pain of the metal keys removing from his fingers sending pain through his wrist. “You can’t just…” He shook his head, wanting nothing more than to start shouting, but the pain on Eren’s face was giving him pause. “It changes  _ everything. _ ” He looked to the floor, his voice raising just ever so slightly above normal. “You can’t even  _ see _ that. You can’t blame yourself for all this fucked up mess. You weren’t the only person in this, Eren! I won't  _ let _ you take all the blame for this.”  
"You were always too kind to me, Corporal..."

Levi wanted nothing more than to grab Eren by the shoulders and shake him. The title just shoved the knife in and twisted it, Eren sounding so unsure of himself as the day he first met him. He was acting that way as well as if he didn’t know how to act around him, like they hadn’t been working together for  _ years _ . 

“I was kind to you for a fucking good reason Eren!” He was starting to lose it, and that was something he didn’t want to do. His eyes were now fixed on the collar around Eren’s neck. He couldn’t take this, he couldn’t take the self-sacrificing attitude Eren seemed to have adopted. He’d regressed years, and as much as he cared, he couldn’t… He couldn’t make that worse. “Eren I can’t do it… I care about you far too much to let your recovery be hindered… I…” His voice stopped, breath hitching in his throat. Oh hell no, his brain was not going there. Not now. Not until they’d at least fixed this enough that Eren could be in the same room as his without tears in his eyes. If ever. They’d never needed to go there before, they didn’t now. “If you can’t take that off, that’s fine, because I’m not doing it. If you take it off, I’ll get the hint. But I can’t watch you do this to yourself. You need time to heal…”

"I know it doesn't matter anymore, but I'm sorry I failed... I just..  _ I loved you. _ " It was the three words he’d stopped himself saying, the tense made tears threaten to start forming. "I'm so sorry.." He let him run, he let him leave without saying anything. The minutes ticked by, Levi staring towards the end of the hall, where he’d lost Eren as he’d turned the corner. This hadn’t been how he wanted it to end, he hadn’t wanted it to finish this way. He wanted to take a break, to give Eren time to heal, not break it off  _ completely _ , not to have Eren walk out of his life.  
“Levi, I’ve been waiting for ages,” Hanji’s voice sounded behind him after the small click of a door opening met his ears. “Levi?” She approached him slowly, Levi turning to face her, “Oh god, what happened?” Her face paled as she watched Levi blink his eyes rapidly, refusing to look at her.   
“Eren… we…”   
“In.” She pointed at her office and Levi didn’t need telling twice, soon collapsing into one of the squishy chairs in the corner of her office. She was quick to sit next to him in the other chair, crossing her legs. 

“I can’t do it Hanji, he took it the wrong way. I didn’t want this.”   
“I’ll see him, I promise.”   
“That might just make it worse.”  
“You can’t see him, you know this right? If you try and talk to him, he’s going to run again, like he clearly just has.” He sighed, head now in his hands, elbows against his knees.   
“I can’t sit around all day thinking about this.”   
“I’m not authorizing you to start hunting again.”  
“I want to go back with Sasha and Connie.”  
“To the coffee shop?” Levi nodded, “that might not help the pain, Levi.” He was thankful that Hanji had respected his wishes to not use any form of title until he was reinstated into the ranks of the Nephilim, and if his current state had anything to do with that, it probably wasn’t going to be for a while…

“I can’t sit around all day with nothing to do. I was going to ask you anyway, but this just seals it. It’s either this or I go back hunting without a partner.” Hanji stared at him, their eyes having a silent conversation. He knew Eren wouldn’t go back to the coffee shop after finding out that he was back working there, if he had gone back there at all since he’d been discharged.   
“A coffee shop is better than hunting. Be there at 1 tomorrow, I know Connie is pulling a double shift because you left.” Levi nodded, standing up and spinning the keys around his fingers, Hanji frowning slightly as her eyes zoned in on the metal, wondering how long it was going to take for Levi to start using his wings. “I’ll speak to him.” 

He didn’t respond, heading out the office quickly, heading straight to the bottom floor, taking the elevator to make it quicker, and he was soon in his car, the door slamming behind him as she sat down in the driver's seat. He should have gone after him, should have pinned the other to the wall, shouted at him and begged till he was hoarse like Hanji had advised all those weeks ago. But he couldn’t bring himself to do it. Eren  _ needed _ the time to heal, time to recover, and Levi being in his life wouldn’t help. If this is what Eren wanted… he’d respect that… for as long as he could. Maybe working would take his mind off it, he didn't want to feel this pain, he didn’t want to feel anything.

He kicked the car into action, reversing quickly and heading out the car park, driving aimlessly, not caring where he ended up as he cranked up the radio, music beating against his ears.

He’d turned off, every time he walked through the doors to the coffee shop, he’d turned off. Sasha and Connie were thrilled, after the initial shock, that he was back, and Levi had squashed any and all formalities, having to practically order them to call him Levi, to treat him no different than before. He’d been wishing more often than not, that he didn’t have his memories, that he was blissfully unaware of the pain. He’d not been able to just go back to the way things were, not being able to be the happy barista that the shop had known, that wasn’t who he was. There were no pictures on mugs, not consistently, though a few slipped out when they were busy enough that he couldn’t think about what he was doing, just doing things on the muscle memory he’d gained within the two short months.

It hadn’t taken long before Erwin had stepped in, finding out quickly what Levi was doing. Thankfully, they’d been closed, and Levi could have the shouting match that he’d needed, to get it all out of his system. He’d screamed his lungs out to the point where he’d had to call Sasha to take his shift, jumping in his car afterwards and driving. Just driving for the sake of driving, finding that it had calmed him considerably when he drove.

Erwin hadn’t bothered him after that thankfully, though, sent Hanji in his place. Levi had declared that if Erwin was going to speak to him, or anyone near him, that it was only business from here on out. He couldn’t trust him like he used to now, not after what happened, Armin too, now he knew the full extent. If he ever saw said blond, he left the room. He couldn’t stand being in his presence. He couldn’t understand why they’d both set out to hurt them when they knew that he’d get his memories back, that he’d fix it, but now, after what they’d done he just couldn’t fix it. Eren didn’t want anything to do with him, that much was clear. 

It had got to the point where he’d begun seeing the other, Eren standing outside, watching him through the window, but when he’d looked back Eren was nowhere to be seen. He’d even seen him sitting inside the coffee shop, with a drink and his kindle, before he started his shift at 1 on a late. But when he’d entered the coffee shop, Eren hadn’t been sitting in the far corner nook. And when he’d asked Connie about it, he said he’d not seen him. It was starting to drive him insane, and it meant he couldn’t get Eren off his mind for even a second, even when they were incredibly busy, and he was rushed off his feet and he didn’t know where most of his shift went, when he was walking or driving home, his mind was thoroughly on the Nephilim. It made him wish for him to just show up out of the blue, to say that all was wrong, for them to be able to sit down and fix this, but that was clearly, exactly as it was, wishful thinking.  
  


* * *

  
After two weeks of the initial time that he and Eren had broken up, on Eren’s terms anyway, he was starting to lose it with Hanji and Erwin, them both now starting to ambush him. Hanji had given the all-clear on him returning to hunting, but on the one condition, he paired with someone. They’d said he could have Eren back, once the male had recovered sufficiently enough to hunt again as well, but Levi had refused, point blank refusing to have Eren with him. He requested they find someone that could hunt effectively and be proficient enough to make it work, and that would take time. He knew this all too well, and in the meantime, he said he’d continue to work at the coffee shop until such time they found someone, no many wanting to work with him and those that did volunteer, got shot down by Erwin. It wasn’t just that, he hadn’t used his wings since he got his memories back, had been thoroughly ignoring them in favour of focusing on everything else.

He left late, the day had been busy, and he just wanted to go home and sleep. Eren had been on his mind the entire day, and it was starting to grate on him that he wasn’t able to see him, wasn’t able to just pull him into his arms and hug him, fall asleep next to him, kiss away the pain… 

He sighed as he pulled the door towards him as he locked up, the keys soon in his pocket as he headed towards the staff car parking spaces. He was barely aware, barely noticed how his habits had changed, before now he’d glance to the sky, but now he’d been human, he barely looked from left to right, soon getting into his car, turning everything on, the music hitting his ears of some late-night station... His mind was thoroughly on the male, sighing outwardly a few times, wishing things were different, even still wishing he didn’t have his memories, so he didn’t have to feel this kind of pain. He pulled off, heading home as legally as he could, just wanting to crawl into bed and dream the night away, even if his dreams were plagued with nightmares. 

He pulled up, sliding out his car, locking it as he closed the door, the lights flashing as he pressed the button, indicating he’d done it correctly, going on autopilot towards the door, his eyes soon raising as he got to the bottom of the steps, looking up at what was quite obviously Eren, leaning next to his door. "Yeah, I'm here. Welcome home."  
“Eren…”   
“The one and only.”  
“What are you doing here…?”   
“Seeing you.” He swallowed, the confidence in the other's voice was astounding, a complete 180 since the last time he’d seen him. He made his feet move, heading up the few steps and towards the door, swiping his card after taking his wallet out.   
“I thought you’d broke up with me? Come to twist the knife some more? Since I’m guessing you want to talk about something.” He held the door open, waiting for Eren to step through, heading towards the elevator and hitting the call button, glancing to Eren, grey eyes now noticing the slight colour change in the well-lit lobby. “Though I’d rather talk in my apartment. If you’re going to dress me down about something I’d rather have a drink in my hand while you do it.” 

He stepped into the elevator as the doors opened, waiting until Eren followed him in and pressed the button for his floor. He folded his arms, leaning sideways as it shifted into motion, and was soon stepping out a moment later ahead of the other Nephilim, extracting his keys from his bag and unlocking the door, holding it open for Eren. After closing the door he threw his keys on to a small table just inside the entryway. He glanced at Eren, who was now blocking his way into his apartment, Levi glancing at him, not being able to turn on the light, sensing something odd about the other male, a small frown on his face. “Can you move? Please?”

This wasn’t how he’d pictured them seeing each other after all this time. He swallowed hard, as Eren’s frame pressed him into his, eyes were nowhere near Eren’s gaze, grey looking down to the lips hovering over his own, his hands already having found their way to Eren’s hips. "You might not like what you see… and I'm not here to hurt you in a way you won't enjoy." He shivered at the animalistic tone, his eyes closing.   
“How do you know I will enjoy it?”   
“Because I know you, I know you pretty well…” A hand had trailed up Eren’s body, Levi not even realizing until it was over his shoulder, threading into Eren’s hair.  
“I thought you didn’t want this anymore… thought you were done with me…” He wanted nothing more than to pull Eren’s lips to his, his eyes opening slowly as he spoke, looking up to Eren’s eyes, the frown back as he noticed a slight glint to Eren’s eyes, not being able to see properly in the dark, but it definitely wasn’t reflecting the green he knew, he couldn’t quite tell. His fingers pulled slightly at the ends of Eren’s hair, twisting the strands around his fingers, waiting to see if Eren would move first, to close the gap between them.

"I'm  _ never _ going to be done with you, Levi."

Lips pressed against his own, his eyes closing as a shiver ran through him, the kiss skipping them pleasantries for gradually deepening and going straight for the good stuff with the need and the lust fueling every moment. His hand pushed more into Eren’s hair, his other soon joining it around his neck curling around it to pull him closer, even more so as Eren’s hips started to move in a slow circle, a moan not quite passing his lips to get lost within the kiss. As Eren’s lips left his, his eyes stayed closed, head tilted back to touch the door he was currently being pressed against. His hips didn’t let up, Levi exposing his neck even further as he gasped, flinching slightly as Eren teased marks into his skin, his hands travelling slowly down his body till they were on his hips, holding him firmly as Eren pressed their hips hard together. “Oh god…” His voice was quiet, breathy as he felt every action head south, every touch, every movement quick to get him frustrated. 

He pulled Eren’s lips back to his own, trying to push him to stop him wedging him against the door, since they could easily find somewhere comfier, and it worked for a moment before his back hit the door…  _ hard _ . It knocked the breath out of him, Eren’s body against his own, restricting his movements, lips against his ear. “Not going anywhere I don’t say you can,  _ Corporal,” _ His eyes opened, darting back and forth over the darkened wall behind Eren, Levi’s arms still around his neck, though loosely now. “You are not in charge tonight,  _ sir.  _ Not even close.”

"Eren.. I.."

His mind went blank as a hand pressed, then his wings were manipulated, and it took everything he had in them to keep them hidden from view. He wasn’t giving in that easily, and if Eren thought he was, he thought wrong. His back straightened, his head tilted backwards, looking up to the ceiling as a moan ripped from his throat, Eren’s hand soon on his face, making him look at him, seeing the emotions there and his body shivered. Where had this even come from? It was so out of the blue. They’d not seen each other in weeks and now, here they were, Levi nearly an utter mess with Eren in a dominating mood. "If you want more of that, I'll let you persuade me."

His feet stumbled as he dropped the inch or so he’d been pressed against the wall, his arms moving behind his hips to stabilize him, looking up to see Eren sitting on the sofa. Anger started to bubble within him then, wondering where the hell Eren got off on doing this. Levi moved over to where the other was sat, hands skimming over his shoulders until they were over his shoulder and against the back of the sofa either side of Eren’s neck. Their faces became close, Levi moving past it to Eren’s lips, breath hot against the other's ear. “Yeah? Persuasion?”  
“ _ Persuade _ me, Corporal.”   
“If you think for a second I’m going to just give in after how we left it, you’ve got another thing coming, brat.” His hand was quick to move, fingers gripping around the ring on the front of Eren’s collar and tugging left sharply, making the other move, forcing his balance to topple to the left, sideways so he landed on his back against the cushions. Levi moved with the action, straddling him with a knee between Eren’s legs, the other on the outside of his body. His fingers stayed around the steel ring, pulling slightly against it so it was pulled taut against the back of the Nephilim’s neck. “You’re really going to have to do better than that.”

As a hand encircled his wrist, he smirked, though it soon faltered as one wrapped around the front of his throat, his free hand automatically going to grab Eren’s forearm. The movements made him tip slightly, ending up in a sitting position, Eren using his knees to walk over his legs, sitting against his thighs, Levi feeling knees press around his waist tightly. A moan escaped his lips as hips rolled against his own, a hand fisting into his hair and pulling his head back, the moan becoming a slight hiss.

He felt something tease at his mind, sending him reeling as Eren’s mouth sealed over his, distracting him quite thoroughly. His mind wasn’t weak though, the aura only starting to chip away at his defences, not that he realized this was happening as he felt the need to have Eren start to rise, start to coil in the pit of his stomach.

"This would be a lot easier if you just let me win." He was panting now, as Eren looked down to his eyes, Levi’s half-lidded, not being able to disguise the lust, the need, to sheer want that was held within them. "But then I guess it wouldn't be quite as much fun seeing you crawl, in the end...”  
“If you think I’m crawling anywhere, you can think again. You’re the one with the collar on here, not me.” Levi knew full well Eren wouldn’t take it off himself, and he wasn’t about to take it off for him. “You’ll just have to do whatever it is you have planned here. If you think you can.” It was a silent challenge, a small taunt as to say ‘try it’. 

He felt Eren’s hips roll into his and another sense in his mind, as if something was wrong, he could sense it, but he was barely listening to any of his Nephilim senses bar the fact he was focusing his strength on keeping his wings closed. It then hit him that his back was rather exposed, and Eren wasn’t going to let him fall backwards, his legs around his waist were preventing that. “And damn, do you look good in that collar.” He couldn’t do anything, Eren’s hand still fisted in his hair and holding his head in place, one hand pinned, and if he used the other it would mean they were both on the floor. So he just watched, watched him through hooded eyes, waiting for him to do  _ something _ . He needed the touch back, the feeling of Eren’s hips rolling, his hands on his bare skin, his lips against his own.

The second the hand fisted in his hair let up a little, allowing him to move his head, he pushed forwards, sealing their lips together after swallowing under the hand still around his throat. He didn't mind the roughness, if anything he welcomed it whenever Eren stepped into this kind of mood. He doubted he'd ever say no to it, especially when it felt as good as it did. 

His mind began to fog, as lips moved seamlessly together, their tongues battling for dominance, and he felt a shake go through his body from head to foot as the hand around his neck flexed slightly, making him fumble with the kiss meaning Eren took control of it, pushing his tongue down and back. He moaned slightly, not being able to help it, his hips following suit in the lack of control and his hand pushing against the Nephilim's chest, it having found its way there at some point after Levi pressed his advantage and took Eren’s mouth with his own. It meant the movements sent them to the floor, Eren quick to manoeuvre them so Levi ended up on his back, his shoulders taking most of the impact, sending him somewhat dizzy as his head swam, having caught the floor slightly. 

“Eren... I’m sorry, but I can’t, not right now.” Something didn’t seem right and he couldn't for the life of him put what was wrong into words. The activity not helping his brain to think in the slightest.  
“No... it’s my fault, sir, I shouldn’t have thought it was okay to ask.” The shift jarred him, completely shocked him, his breathing heavy, a part of him wishing he’d not denied getting his wings out for Eren to see. He watched him move through the dark, sitting up himself, sadness overtaking his features as he saw the wings twitch and curl inwards. The sight was all too familiar, even though the dark of his living room and his mind didn’t want to see it. “I shouldn’t have presumed that you would ever want me here again…” The words hit his heart, making him take an intake of breath, and they made him move quicker than he thought he would, scooting over carefully on to his knees, edging towards Eren. Maybe this was what he’d sensed was wrong? That Eren was just putting on the show of confidence to hide how he was really feeling. He hated seeing the other like this, he couldn’t bear it, especially when he was the one that had put the pain there in the first place.   
“Eren…” He saw the other glance to him, then away, the Nephilim allowing him to move closer once he’d pulled his trousers back into place on his body, past the gap of his wings, though Levi made damn sure not to touch the feathers… just in case. He carefully moved the other's legs, touches light and careful to not startle Eren, to not make him run and flee from this. He was soon knelt between his legs, a hand moving out gently to press the pads of his fingers underneath the others chin, angling his head so that their eyes met. “I never wanted you to leave. I only ever wanted to take a break, not a break up. I am so sorry…”

A small, half-smile touched his lips as he watched as Eren leant into the touch. "I'm sorry too. I thought if I left, you wouldn't have to hurt anymore... but I was wrong. Forgive me?" He saw the wings twitch away in the corner of his vision, thankful that Eren didn’t feel the need to protect himself, that’s not what he wanted the other to feel while he was near him. Ever.   
“Oh god yes.” His voice was breathy as leant forwards quickly, sliding his lips against the other Nephilim’s, slow and careful, happy to feel the other reciprocate, Eren’s hands finding the side of his neck and face, almost flinching giving the last harsh touch to his neck, though managed to keep still, the will to not startle the other with the touch enough to force his body to follow what his brain wanted. His eyes had fluttered closed as their lips met, and he relaxed considerably. Now  _ this _ was what it was like to kiss his Eren, not the demand and the need of before. They always built up to that, never started with it. This felt instantly more familiar, and when he got the gentle push to his shoulders, he went without hesitation, standing up and running his hands down Eren’s arms, taking his hands into his and pulling him up, Eren soon walking him backwards into the direction of his bedroom.

The backs of his knees hit the bed, Eren laughing as he didn’t stay on top for long, Levi quickly flipped their positions, taking great care not to jostle Eren’s wings too much, to drag them across the bedding, to let him rearrange them, “You.” He pressed a kiss to Eren’s lips, the male kissing back a second too late, which made him smirk. “I hope.” Another kiss to Eren’s lips, “you can forgive me, too.” He pressed another one, and another, though started to lead away from his lips, kissing along his jaw, to the top of his neck, teeth dragging lighter across the flesh.

"Yes, always." Levi’s mouth continued its path, going down Eren’s throat slowly, feeling the muscles under him start to relax. When he felt Eren’s hands around him, he rolled his shoulders, thankful the other wasn’t pressing anywhere to make his wings show. He just wasn’t ready for that, not yet. He’d not even used them to fly since he lost his memories, and he didn’t plan to any time soon. Getting them out would just be too much, for the first time at least, in front of Eren.

It didn’t take long for a moan to pass his lips, for him to roll his hips into Eren’s, taking his sweet time about this, hands slowly starting to work the other’s clothes off, Eren complying quite happily, to his knowledge, the clothes spoon discarded to the floor, Levi quick to reach his bedside table, reaching the draw an grabbing the contents. Foil was ripped between his teeth, and he was soon guiding Eren’s hand down to slide up and down his length, Eren’s hand working the condom on with little effort. A cap was heard between them as it opened, and soon enough Levi’s fingers were pressing against Eren’s entrance carefully, his lips back on the males beneath him as he pulled Eren’s knee on to his shoulder, his calf around his back. “Relax already,” he was tight, tense as he pushed in, the moan that passed Eren’s lips made him smirk, his lips against his chest now, “come on,  _ relax _ .” Thankfully his words didn’t fall on deaf ears, Eren finally starting to relax and he pumped in and out slowly, picking up pace as his fingers curled against his prostate, making the body under him flinch and gasp. He kissed the other’s stomach, son removing his hands and letting his hand glide up and down, coating himself with the remaining lube on his hand, soon hovering over the other as Legs looped around his waist.

He pushed in, a low groan releasing from him as Eren’s fingers dug into his back and side, Levi pressing in until he was completely buried, their lips meeting again in a frenzy of lust and passion. “Oh god, you’re tight.” He felt Eren clench around him, soon feeling his hips start to buck, start to want more friction.

“Levi, move…” He didn’t need telling twice, starting to pull out slowly, then back in, quick to pick up pace once Eren’s hips started to meet his thrusts. Neither of them lasted long in the slightest, and when it got far too much for him, his wings burst from his back in a loud moan that bounced of the walls, his whole body shaking as he managed to reach a new speed, hitting Eren hard, hands braced either side of him, Eren’s arms and legs pulling him closer with each thrust. Their moans mingled in the air as they both reached their peak, riding their highs out together, Levi moving slowly to accommodate the both of them, doing his best to not just collapse on top of the other, given the mess between them. It took a few minutes before either of them could move, Levi going to clean himself up, coming back and helping Eren do the same before he grabbed his underwear and headed back to the bathroom to dispose of everything. He pulled his underwear on and soon left the bathroom, seeing Eren fully dressed and suddenly in front of him, his body going rigid, not expecting him to be there in the slightest.

His legs were still shaky, and as a hand touched his cheek, he leaned in to it, his eyes fluttering. “Wha… Eren?” He fought it, by god did he fight it, not even realizing as his consciousness started to slip, to fade to black, feeling like water was slowly rising up and over his mind. He became dead weight there, Eren’s arms catching him easily.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's a lot of skipping in this one, need to get through some stuff quick :p

A sharp intake of breath was pulled into his lungs, Levi sitting half upright in bed, an arm behind him steading him as his left when straight to his neck. His eyes darted around the softly lit room, eyes landing on to the space next to him. Why was Eren up already? He looked at the digital clock on his bedside table, it was only 06:43AM. He’d woke well before his alarm, and he couldn’t understand why he wasn’t waking up curled against Eren’s side right now. He calmed his breathing, looking to his bedroom door, listening for the sounds of the shower, but hearing nothing, nor any kitchen-y sounds either. “Eren”? His throat felt sore, and he swallowed a few times, before looking back to his bedside table and not even seeing the glass he usually brought to bed with him. Now he thought about it, he couldn’t even remember actually heading to bed. He only barely remembered getting home after his shift.

He slid out of bed, still extremely tired but having the need to find Eren, his soul pulling at the fact  _ he should definitely be here _ . Eren wouldn’t leave after that, that wasn’t like him… He was nowhere to be found, and nothing was out of place, bar his uniform thrown near the sofa. He pressed his hand to his forehead as he headed to the bathroom, catching his reflection in the mirror, causing him to stop. 

There were no marks whatsoever on his skin,  _ anywhere _ . There had to be, Eren wasn’t exactly gentle last night to begin with. He should have a mass amount of bruising along his neck. His fingers made him shiver, as he trailed them across where they should be.

He must have stared at his reflection for a good ten minutes before he sighed and stepped into his shower after stripping his underwear from his body. That couldn’t have been a dream, that had been far too vivid, and the only vivid dream he was having lately were the ones involving all things nightmarish. His subconscious must have had enough of his moping, clearly the fact he missed Eren was starting to seep from just being in his waking state, overtaking the pain of his sleeping consciousness. All through getting ready, he couldn’t get over how  _ vivid _ and real that dream had been. 

When he started his shift at 9 AM that morning, he was quite clearly distracted, Connie having to ask him multiple times if he were alright before he heard it. “Yes, I’m fine.”  
“Are you sure? You don’t seem it.”   
“Just… Just a lot on my mind.” Connie had nodded slowly, helping him unpack the rest of the things in the box he had been unpacking, extremely slowly. The two had been used to him spacing out when he didn’t have his memories, but this was strange. It didn’t fit who they knew the Lance Corporal was, it had been so strange. It had prompted Sasha to call Hanji when she got in at 2 PM, after hearing from Connie how spaced Levi had been. Regardless of her saying Levi just had a lot on his mind, agreeing with the Nephilim without realizing, she’d headed to the coffee shop at the end of Levi’s shift, walking with him to his car to head to the hospital. 

“I still think this is strange.”  
“Yeah well, you can fly if you want to, I’ll just meet you there.” She didn’t, Hanji just smiled and climbed in the passenger side, letting Levi get them to the hospital at the slow pace the car provided. “Why are we even going to your office?”  
“Well for one, I’m taking you to dinner, and I need to get some things.” Even though it meant he could stay in the car, he headed in with her, ending up carrying the box that she wanted to collect from the Nephilim top floor. They headed back down quickly, Levi putting the box in the boot and heading in the direction he was instructed, ending up at a rather nice Thai place. “Sasha might have mentioned you liked this kind of food.”  
“I’d have thought you’d know my preferences in food by now.” Hanji shrugged, leaning forwards after ordering their food, Levi having done the same thing a while ago, having decided quickly. 

“It’s unnerving.” His eyes slid from the window to her face, seeing the strange look being cast in his direction.   
“What is?”   
“You. Acting so…  _ human _ .”  
“What can I say? Something must have stuck.”  
“You seem out of it today.”   
“I’ve got a lot on my mind?”   
“Oh?” His eyes slid away from her, to the window, a frown pulling on to his face.   
“It’s just… Have you spoken to Eren lately?”   
“Last night in fact.” His eyes were on hers quickly, staring at her so intently that she sat up a little straighter.  
“Was he at home?”   
“Yes, Armin was with him,” He frowned again, feeling anger bubble inside of him, “deep breath sugar, deep breaths.” He closed his eyes, doing just that.  
“So he was at home all night?”  
“As far as I’m aware. What’s with the inquisition?”   
“I just.. I thought…” he paused, it sounded stupid now he knew Eren hadn’t been there. “I had a dream... I thought it was real.. Fuck.” He stopped leaning on one arm, collapsing it and bringing his other up and crossing his arms on the table in front of him. “Fuck I wanted it to be real.” His eyes were cast on to the table between himself and Hanji.   
“Have you thought about going to see him? It might just be because you miss him,”  
“No thanks. He doesn’t want to see me Hanji, and Armin would rip my face off.”

  
  


* * *

  
  


A week passed since he had that one dream, another not occurring to quite that effect since. Yes, admittedly he'd had one or two, but nowhere near as bad as the first and a shower had always been the first thing on his list the second he woke up. He couldn't help but miss Eren, and the fact Hanji was pushing him to hunt wasn't helping matters. Which is why he was where he was now, shirtless and his wings finally out, resulting in him falling forwards onto one knee, the feeling that had rushed through him having floored him. "See this is why you shouldn't fight it," Hanji spoke as she walked around him to stand between his wings. "Right, bear with me hunny."  
"What? Why?"  
"I need to... You know... Sort them."  
"Can't you just leave them?"  
"How do they feel right now?" He hesitated because, in all honesty, they felt  _ awful _ .  
"Fine just... Hurry up."  
"I'll try. The sofa might be better." She helped him stand after walking back in front of him, Levi soon helping her pull the sofa from the wall to the middle of the room, her desk having to be pushed back as well to accommodate. He sat down, Hanji behind him, his wings fanned out over the low back of the piece of furniture.   
"Is this entirely necessary?"  
"'fraid so sugar." Her hands were on him then, her touch gentle and light, starting to physically check his wings, making sure they were fit for flight, and adjusted anything that needed doing, mainly realigning feathers of the wings that were out of place. Being hidden and unused for so long didn't do them, or Levi for that matter, any favors at all. “Using these will get you ready for hunting again.” He didn’t argue, since he knew that he certainly wouldn’t win, and definitely not in this state. His hands gripped the edge of the cushion he was sitting on, his eyes closed and trying to think of anything and everything bar what Hanji was doing. He flinched a few times as she worked her way from the tip of his left-wing, to the middle of his back, massaging most of his back as she went past it, loosening the muscles as best she could. He was so knotted, it was beyond real. “How have you lived like this?” 

“You… you get used to it…” His voice came out breathy, and he felt his face redden, and then heard Hanji laugh in response, a soft apology passing her lips. Once she’d sorted his back as best she could, she went to the base of his wings, hesitating considerably. “Just… just do it.”   
“Are you sure?”   
“Yeah. If you don’t, I am only going to regret telling you not to. It hurts.”   
“Hurts how?”   
“Feels like too much weight.” She hesitated to touch them, clearly not wanting to, but knew she had to do it, putting on a strictly medical vibe, anything to help the male under her touch. Both hands cupped the base of Levi’s left-wing, seeing his whole body tense, his knuckles white as he gripped the sofa cushion, and was soon pushing up quickly, feeling the shiver and shake that went through his body first, then his wings, not letting go as she watched it travel to the tip of the wing she was currently holding.   
“One more.” He nodded once, teeth clamped together as she pushed inwards, effectively realigning the bone and muscle to where they should be. She did the same again, but on his right-wing and Levi couldn’t help the moan and the shaky ‘oh dear god’ that passed his lips as both wings were now where they should be. He blushed furiously, Hanji laughing as she worked from base to tip on the wing, doing the same as she had before on his right side. Levi was rather thankful she didn’t comment on the fact his wings were no longer pearly white, but rather a tone or so off the normal colour.

* * *

  
Training. He’d been put back in  _ training _ . 

Erwin and Hanji had decided that before he could be cleared, he needed to pass the basic training again. It was standard procedure, sure, but it was  _ him _ . He didn’t need basic training, he’d have been better off running the sessions, instead, he showed up after briefing and just ran the training he’d set out for the 104th. He didn’t need to hear whatever pep talk Mike had for new recruits. Levi had to admit, it was nice to make people fumble again. Men and women alike, it seemed. 

After he was done beating the living crap out of a punching bag, he’d looked around the room as he unwrapped his hands. He saw a couple of new recruits, who were supposed to be sparring together, staring at him quite openly until he caught them staring and sprung back into action and ended up fumbling and both falling to a heap of limbs on the floor. It had made him smirk as the girl went bright red and the guy covered his face as he lay on his back. 

That had made his day rather a lot better.

His week was topped when Mike had had enough of him ‘distracting’ his students and signed him off a few days later.

* * *

Another week went by, him working in the coffee shop and then Thursday evening hit, Levi being called into HQ for a meeting with Erwin. He flew there, under orders not to use his car (aka Hanji having confiscated the keys) and landed on the roof, heading down the floor to Erwin’s office. “Ah, Lance Corporal, finally.”   
“I had a shift to finish, my apologies.”  
“No matter, you’re here now.” He hid his wings as he walked over to the chair that Erwin gestured to as he spoke, the other going back to sit behind his desk. “Good to see you using your wings again.”  
“It’s starting to feel good, again, actually sir.” The formality felt foreign, and Erwin mirrored, though more visually, his emotion on the matter.   
“Now that didn’t sound right, coming from you.”  
“Neither did Lance Corporal.”   
“Shall we forget such things, and go back to the way we were?”  
“I don’t know if that’s wise.”  
“Come on now, Levi, I’m not about to pin you to that chair and have you in my office.”   
“Really? I wouldn’t put it past you.” Levi held Erwin’s gaze, and soon, the older man cracked a smirk.   
“It’s nice to see you back to your old self. But even so. You’ve nothing to be apprehensive about when it comes to yours truly. I’m sure you know by now what happened at Halloween.”

“To what exactly are you referring? You tricking me while I was defenceless? Or you and Armin throwing my relationship with Eren to the dogs? Since I know the fucking mushroom is involved somehow with how he was clinging to him.” He crossed his left leg over his right and folded his arms. It was the first proper conversation they’d had, without witnesses, of course.   
“Ok, I deserved that.”  
“You deserve more than that,  _ Commander _ , I’m just not in the mood for revenge right now. I can’t even be doing with hunting anymore.”   
“Well, you don’t have a choice on that one,  _ Corporal _ . I’ve found someone for you.”  
“I’d rather just hunt on my own, Erwin.”  
“Never. Going. To happen.” 

The next night, three weeks to Christmas and his birthday, a fact he was definitely  _ not _ thinking about, he was out, wings behind him, flying side by side with Connie, who seemed uneasy, flying slightly back on Levi’s right. “You seem like you don’t want to be here.” He spoke as they touched down in an alleyway.  
“If I’m honest, I don’t think I do.”   
“Then why did you agree to work with me?”  
“Because who in their right mind is going to pass a chance to hunt with the Lance Corporal?”  
“ _ Sane _ people?” he muttered, twin swords being unsheathed. He must admit, it was nice to get back into his gear again, even if his mind wasn’t fully on the hunt right now. Aside from in the coffee shop, he’d never done anything else with Connie, didn’t know his style, his techniques, and most of all how much he could follow orders in the field. It turned out, quite well, he had to say, but he couldn’t read him, and it meant Levi had had to take the brunt of an attack, to save Connie getting hurt too badly. His mind automatically went the route of ‘that would have never have happened with Eren,’ he couldn’t stop it. After the demon was dead on the floor, he saw Connie’s jaw clench, not being able to bring himself to mouth off at Levi, given his position.

Connie only lasted three days, and the next, Nac Tius, had only lasted 2, shouting at him for not having his head in the game and Levi speaking as calmly as he could, telling him if he didn’t want him as a partner go to Erwin and get reassigned. The calmness had been more effective than if he’d had shouted. They’d patched themselves up from a rather nasty fall, Levi watching Nac fly straight back to HQ.

Third was Krista Lenz. They got on for a few days, until their fourth mission, where they’d both misread each other, Levi having to lunge and tackle her, soon pinning her to the floor as he continued to scream an exorcism over his shoulder. The result had been Krista fracturing a wing, and Levi almost losing both of his own. He’d got them both back to the door of HQ, before collapsing unconscious from the pain. He’d been hospital bound a day because of it, Erwin storming out of his room claiming him incompetent at teamwork, Levi retaliating that it had worked seamlessly with Eren for years, the comment he’d made making himself both sad and annoyed that the words had come out of his mouth. And again, Christmas Day looming only a week and a half away was something he was still not thinking about. Nope. He wasn’t. And honestly, if anyone said otherwise, he’d rip their wings out for saying something so blasphemous. 

* * *

  
“Hanji, I think I’ve cracked it.” The next day rolled around, Levi due to meet him in his office in ten minutes, Hanji hot on his heels.  
“Cracked what, Commander?”   
“Who to put with Levi.”  
“Oh? Pray tell?”  
“Mr Kirstein.” Hanji fumbled as she closed the door behind them.  
“ _ Jean _ Kirstein?” Erwin nodded his confirmation as he sat behind his desk. “You’ve got to be joking. Please god, tell me you’re not serious?”  
“It’s too perfect. I know.”  
“Someone’s going to get their head ripped off. And I’m not so sure it’ll be Jean.”  
“That’s the point, Hanji.  _ That’s the point _ .” He gained a rather insane looking expression there as he spoke as the woman across from him sat down in one of the chairs. “It’s going to force him to realize that it’s not going to work with anyone else. And this whole refusal to work with Eren is going to vanish. Because let’s face it, Eren isn’t going to be able to work with anyone else either. Levi’s the only one that’ll be able to break through and calm him down mid hunt.”  
“But sir, Jean Kirstein, that’s a little bit too far, isn’t it?”  
“That might be just what he needs.”

  
  
  


Three hours later, with next to no kicking off from either party since both hadn’t had the patience to argue with Erwin, Jean and Levi were in the air, circling the rather easy targets that Hanji had put them on. It hadn’t taken them long to dispose of all three, them both taking down a demon each, and Levi being faster and taking down the third. “Far too easy.”  
“Then what took you so long to kill that meat sack?” Jean didn’t respond, having been told to grit his teeth and bare the comments. “Contact Hanji already, I bore easily.”  
“No shit.” Levi chose not to respond, pushing up into the air and landing on the rooftop of the building they’d been next to, standing on the edge and overlooking New York. He heard speaking behind him, Hanji’s voice filtering to his ears, but he wasn’t listening, he was taking in the sight.

The next fight had been two demons and had gone fine, again, but when they got to the third fight, that’s when they had issues. The order Levi gave had been quite clear, draw them out and away from the human population, which had gone fine, and then take them out when and only when they were out of sight. Jean, obviously, hadn’t listened, and a scream had erupted behind him, a woman seeing as Jean had acted too quickly, having not looked around to check. Levi had grabbed him and pushed off quickly into the night air, the other pulling from his grip and using his own wings to follow Levi to a rooftop. They’d proceeded to argue, Hanji soon calling the Enochian way to break up the fight she clearly knew was occurring. She’s told them that was it, and for them to have the day and meet again the next night.

  
  


The next night, left him a week to the day which didn’t exist. And it had been difficult all night. The closer it got to the dreaded day the more he thought about Eren, the more he thought about how alone he was going to actually be when it came down to it. He’d not had a Christmas and birthday alone in at least 4 years and he didn’t want that cycle to end, and he knew it was going to. It caused problems, Levi being constantly distracted, so much so that when they’d gone for a rather easy kill Levi had stumbled at the last second, ending up being grabbed and almost dragged away by a demon. Jean had come to the rescue, having to forgo the exorcism in favor of saving Levi’s life. “You need to get your head in the game, sir.” He ignored him, sheathing his swords and starting to walk, his arm being grabbed, to force him to stop. “You can’t just ignore what just happened.”  
“Yeah? Watch me.” He pulled his arm out of Jean's grasp angrily, though more at himself than the other, who he was thankful towards since he did just save his life. “Thanks.” He mumbled, not being able to not say thank you, before pushing off and lifting himself into the air, heading towards the next target on the list. 

  
  


Another day passed in the same fashion, though he’d managed to save Jean’s life and then some, them both not working at all well together, barely listening and both rallying for command. They both had similar personalities, in the face that they were both used to being the leader, both used to giving the orders. Whenever Jean did give the order, Levi blatantly refused to listen, the authoritative tone completely lost on him. After the few demons Hanji had sent them after, they landed on top of a tower, legs hanging over the edge, awaiting their next instructions. Levi moved, wings hidden and lying down on his back, right leg over the edge, looking up at the stars. “What’s with you and hiding your wings anyway?”

“Bit personal, isn't it?” He couldn’t help but think of the name Eren used to say in regards to Jean, every time the other spoke to him outside of battle conditions. Kirsch-neigh looked to him, and then back to the city.

“Was just curious is all.” He didn’t respond for a minute there, eyes looking up to the dark sky. 

“I got used to it, while I didn’t have my memories,” Levi answered after a few minutes, deciding it couldn’t hurt to have a conversation with Jean.  
“Can I ask you a question about that?”  
“Doesn’t mean I’ll answer it.” Jean fell silent, Levi’s eyes counting stars idly as he looked up to the cloudless sky.   
“Did you… I mean…” He paused, Levi having to stop himself sighing at the hesitation, “Did you find Eren again… Like, did you remember him?”  
“What part of ‘I lost all my memories,’ is your horse brain not getting?” Jean gripped the concrete below him, his knuckles going white. He couldn’t help but think ‘Eren’ at the response, not wanting to mouth off at a superior as he could quite easily throw him off the building just because he wanted to. He really wouldn’t put it past him.

“No. I don’t mean that.”  
“Then either say what you mean or jump off the roof, because I really can’t be doing with cryptic questions.” Jean sighed, looking to the sky also.   
“I meant, did you still find him… I dunno… attractive kinda thing even though you didn’t know him.” Levi licked his lips, thinking on the answer for a moment or two.   
“He felt familiar.”  
“That’s a shit answer.”  
“That would be ‘that’s a shit answer, Lance Corporal, sir.’ Actually.”  
“And that’s a shitter answer.”  
“I don’t even have to answer, you’re lucky you got that out of me.” They fell silent again, Levi going back to his current pastime of watching the night sky. “Who was you with before me, anyway?”  
“Marco Bodt.”

“Who’s he with now? Since I’m guessing  _ the Commander _ ,” the tone was somewhat bitter, it made Jean smirk, “reassigned him if you were assigned to me.”  
“Armin and Eren.” Levi’s stopped on a star to his far right, staring at it. Eren was back hunting too, now? They failed to mention that to him. He heard a beeping, and Jean answered, Levi barely listening, saying that they needed to get down a few blocks away, a target having started to run.  
“You take point.”  
“You sure?” Jean raised an eyebrow as he stood, watching Levi do the same. Levi was far too distracted now he’d heard Eren’s name, to know he was back hunting, to even care about the demon they were going after.   
“I’ll immobilize it, you kill the damn thing.” He threw himself off the building, something Jean still hadn’t got used to, since it was always without his wings. The control the other seemed to have over his wings was astounding, the white wings bursting from his back in freefall and quickly making him barrel roll and head in the direction they needed to be.

They found it with ease, Levi the quicker, more agile of the two and getting there first, doing as he’d said and dragging the demon behind him, the vessel looking beyond hope, grabbing it by the throat as he span around it, his feet touching the ground as his free arm expertly pinned its arms behind his it’s back, pulling them harshly as he tried to bite him, Levi’s arms snaking up and round and pulling it back slightly. Jean was in his vision then, a knife quick to be angled down towards its chest, piercing it, thankfully not all the way through, Levi feeling it convulse, dropping it once he stopped, checking that no blood had been transferred to him, thankful when it hadn’t. “See the good things that happen when you listen to me?” Jean rolled his eyes, them both looking up as they heard a whooshing sound above them, Levi’s eyes locking on to all too familiar wings.

“Holy crap…” Jean went to move, Levi grabbing his wrist in a steel grip. They both watched on, Eren landing too far away for either party to catch any words spoken. Levi let go, stepping in front of Jean a few steps, seeing the girl under Eren, seeing her vessel a young girl, definitely not a teenager, he wouldn’t say she was any older than 10 if it were him. 

The second the knife connected with the girls’ throat, the crimson practically soaking the other, Levi’s body went rigid. How the hell could he kill her, how had he not just chanted and sent the demon packing?! The scream had hit his ears, and he’d not even flinched, eyes focused on Eren far too much right now, he couldn’t help her, couldn’t save her now Eren had stabbed her neck, just watching him kneel over the empty husk of a corpse, covered in blood and breathing heavy. Even given the darkness, he could see the wings had lost this glossy blue tint, and the aura surrounding them... he couldn’t put it into words. 

“What the…” Jean obviously couldn’t either, stepping up to his side slowly, his eyes transfixed on Eren as well, now. It made him feel nauseous, made him feel guilty as he watched, his brain not being able to wish away the demonic essence that surrounded Eren almost completely. It made his soul, his Nephilim essence, his whole body ache to go and hug him, to turn him. It wouldn’t be Eren, it would be someone else. The wings were a trick.

He took a step into the alleyway, Jean and himself having been on a deserted street, the sound making Eren look towards him. The sight that met his eyes made him freeze. The golden colour to the green eyes he’d come to love took him by surprise, the guilt and pain hitting him full force, that when Eren turned to flee upwards, he tried to take off after him, wanting nothing more than to know what the hell just happened. He didn’t get very far, a hand curling around his ankle hastily and pulling him back down to the ground. His back hit the floor making him grunt, and Jean was on him as he tried to fight to get back in the air, “oh hell no, stop fucking struggling.” He threw Jean off him with his legs, the other hitting the concrete, Levi scrambling to get back in the air, not getting very far as Jean used his wings to propel himself forwards, soon pushing Levi against the wall, holding him there bodily, not at all surprised Levi’s wings had vanished the instant he’d been grabbed before they could get smashed against the wall. “What are you even thinking? How the hell do you think that’s going to end?”  
“Get the hell off me. Now.”  
“Not a chance this side of hell.” Levi tried to struggle, though he soon gave up, Jean holding him tighter against the wall, Levi’s hands soon resting on the other's hips. “I don’t give a crap about how you’re feeling right now if I’m brutally honest with you,  _ Lance Corporal _ . But him? Him I care about even if we don’t get along. I know he’s not the only injured party in all this, but you chasing off after him after that, it aint gonna end well for either of you, and if Eren’s here so are Marco and Armin, and I’m not having you hurt them either. Now fucking pull yourself together.” He couldn’t protest, Jean was speaking a truth he needed to hear. He couldn’t just go charging after Eren in the slightest. 

“Jean, move.”  
“You gonna fly off after him?”  
“He’ll have already left .” His hands still held Jean’s hips, not looking at him in the slightest, the other far taller than he was.  
“God damnit I can’t do this every night.” Jean moved off him, letting Levi find his own feet, the male looking rather dejected as he started to the floor.  
“Then got to Erwin and Hanji. Get yourself reassigned. You won't hear me complaining.”  
“Really? I hadn’t guessed that in the slightest.”  
“You’ve got such a problem, I don’t even know where to start with you on the list of flaws. I don’t know how your last partner put up with you.”  
“Yeah? Well, I honestly don’t know how Eren put up with you, either.” Levi froze, having been on the way to sort the body after their kill, hands clenched into fists. 

Oh no. He. Didn’t.

“Excuse me?” He turned slowly, seeing the look of sheer shock turn to fear on Jean’s face as he realized just what he’d said and with what infliction. “Care to repeat yourself a little louder? I don’t think I quite heard you.”  
“No… I…”  
“No what?”  
“No sir... I… I don’t want to repeat myself…”  
“Damn fucking straight you won’t repeat yourself you sorry excuse of a Nephilim. I don’t even know how you dare speak of anything regarding that in my presence.” The tone itself made Jeans’ blood run cold, his wings twitch behind him as he took a step back from the wrath of the superior Nephilim. There was a reason he was Heaven’s best.   
“Sir, I am so sorry... I.. I didn’t mean it.”  
“Don’t even utter the word sorry when you clearly  _ don’t  _ mean it. Now get that body sorted. You and it are so not my problem anymore.” His wings appeared in a rush of wind and lose feathers, lifting him into the sky, planning to fly till he got tired. 

He couldn’t be doing it anymore. He now knew what Erwin’s idea was, setting them both together as hunting partners. It was to push him to the edge, to realize there was only one person on the face of all the universes, that he could work with, that he got on with. That person was someone that didn’t want him anymore, that he had no access to, and probably didn’t deserve seeing. His grey eyes were set on the building before him, the Chrysler Building, all lit up and glowing in the distance. His brain focused on nothing but that till he got there, touching down on the slightest sloped ledge of where the windows stopped and agazed out towards the New York City nighttime skyline. His legs dangled over the edge as he sat in the middle, his wings staying out to keep him balanced. He sighed, running a hand down his face. Mind finally letting everything sink in, drifting to Eren, to the scene he’d just witnessed. He couldn’t get his head around it, his face soon in his hands, elbows propped against his thighs.

After the incident with Jean, it wasn’t at all surprising that they were no longer paired together, Levi was just thankful it meant that he clearly wasn’t hunting again this side of the New Year, if ever given the fact it was clear that he couldn’t hunt with anyone but Eren. While he’d been out, sitting atop the building for most of the night, Hanji had ran rampant in his apartment, hanging decorations everywhere, though not a tree, to which he thanked the stars for. He’d been half tempted to take them down, no one but him ever going to see them, but he left them up, just in case Hanji came round at any point. He’d collapsed after being informed that Jean was back with Marco and he was once against partnerless. 3 days before the dreaded day. He was half tempted, not he didn’t have to hunt to work, or see anyone, to just leave for the holiday and go somewhere to take his mind off it all, to fly to where no one could find him. But he couldn’t do it, knowing Hanji would be worried sick if he wasn’t here when she inevitably turned up on the 25th for a gift exchange. 

Nothing had been said otherwise, so he guessed he was spending the day by himself, probably with his face buried inside a rather thick book that he still had left to read across the wall of books in this apartment. That pleased him just fine, it would definitely take his mind off of Eren, Christmas, and his birthday for sure. He still couldn’t get his mind to accept the shift in his eyes Eren had clearly had, not knowing how to take it.

2 Days before D-day, he spent time in the coffee shop nestled within a nook, looking tired and Sasha keeping him supplied with coffee. He was thoroughly engrossed in the book between his hands, oblivious to the world, spending the next day there as well, even helping them close up after the extremely busy day they’d had. He’d walked home after that, sighing as he climbed into bed, turning off the bedside light and staring up at the ceiling, choosing not to acknowledge anything until the first inevitable knock on his door sounded.

* * *

**  
25th December   
  
**

The day rounded on him at last, Levi not even looking at the clock as he got up to make himself breakfast, which turned into scrambled eggs, bacon and sausages, sitting down at the breakfast bar and looking highly miserable. Even more so when ten minutes later, as he was washing his plate and everything he’d used to cook, he heard the door open. “GIFTS!” He sighed at Hanji’s voice, hearing the door close and hurried footsteps sounding as she searched him out. “Gifts for the birthday boy!”   
“It’s Christmas Hanji, I’m sure that’s more important.” He looked at her attire, seeing a white dusting across her black coat, scarf and matching black hat. Clearly, it was snowing. A white Christmas must be why she was even more giddy than normal. Sure it had been snowing for the past few days, but people always seemed to like snow on the 25th.   
“Grumpy Christmas baby is _grumpy_!” She was sporting a rather festive sweater, it was bright red, with a green tree. It was, in a word, vile.   
“Hanji, I’m really not feeling festive.”   
“Tough, because I have gifts from Erwin and my lovely self.” She held out two bags, Levi staring at her, before she shook them, forcing him to take them from her. “You don’t have to open them in front of me, just make sure you open them. Are you sure you don’t want to come out with us?”   
“Like I say, not really feeling the festivities.” Did he ever?  
“Well if you change your mind, you know where we are. I could stay... for a while? I don’t have to meet anyone till noon.”  
“No, go. I don’t want to bring your Christmas spirit down.”  
“You could never do that!”  
“Do you really want to test that?” She stared at him inquisitively for a few moments, her mind slowly getting on board with the fact that Levi would definitely kill her Christmas spirit after a few hours alone with him. “Come see me tomorrow or something if you’re free.”  
“Hey, I’m just glad you kept the decorations up.” She moved to him, pulling him into a hug. “Happy Birthday, and Happy Christmas.” He couldn’t help but smile at her soft tone.   
“Thank you, Happy Christmas. Speaking of which.” He pulled out her hug, moving into the front room, Hanji following behind him. He placed the gift bags on to the chair, soon picking up a small, gorgeously wrapped gift all finished off with a bow on top of it with a small nametag. He turned and handed it to her, Hanji taking it with a squeak, pulling him into another hug. She was soon on her way after that, Levi thinking she should have probably given her the other one too, for Eren. He’d probably just have to get rid of it. Shame he planned so much in advance really.

He subconsciously adjusted the feather bracelet around his right wrist leaving the gift bags where they were, Eren’s present on the floor next to the chair. He was quick to make himself a drink, grabbing his book again and settling down on the sofa, the coffee table pulled close to him so he could easily reach his cup of gingerbread latte. At least he was being a little bit festive right?? The coffee shop had stuck considerably, his kitchen being fully stocked with 80% of ingredients needed to make the menu at the small shop.

Around an hour later, he heard the buzzer sound through the apartment, frowning slightly, wondering if Hanji had changed her mind and was going to drag him out to join everyone. He placed everything down, having been holding his cup at the time, book flat down and open on the page as he headed to the door, pressing the buzzer till he heard the click to signal the door was closed, He went towards the kitchen, waiting for her to come through, having got a cup ready for her should she want a drink and was staying long enough to actually have one. It was freezing outside after all. When he didn’t hear the door open, but a knock, he actually wondered who he’d let in since that wasn’t like Hanji in the slightest. His hand was soon pulling the door open after taking the safety chain off, a habit from when he was human, foregoing looking through the peephole. And he suddenly wished he had.

It was the last person he expected to see, today of all days, and the smile on his face made him grip the door handle that little bit tighter. His jacket and hair were snow ridden, clearly having picked up considerably since Hanji left. “Eren…”

“Happy birthday, sir.” His voice was soft, shaking a little despite sounding happier than it had done the last time Levi had seen him. It made the greeting floor his heart as he regarded the male before him, covered in snow, bringing him cake and what was clearly coffee for his birthday. He couldn’t make his mind up whether or not to let the other in, couldn’t bear thinking how badly this could end, especially given he’d planned to lose himself in a world that wasn’t his own to forget about the green eyes staring out at him from outside his front door. Finally, as Eren shivered slightly, he stepped aside, allowing room for Eren to enter his apartment.

“Come on, before you freeze. What kind of idiot comes out this far in this kind of snow?” He closed the door behind him, absently locking it back up, not understanding why the hell Eren had shown up, even if it was his birthday and Christmas or whatever. He wasn’t in the mood for any of it this year.   
“The kind who wants to forget everything that has gone wrong, if that’s possible. Just for one day.”  
“Eren, it’s not that simple.”   
“Yes, it is.” Levi stared at him for a moment more before sighing, holding out his hands, to take the coffee and bag that held cake from him so he could take off his jacket and scarf. Eren handed it over, Levi’s fingers lightly brushing gloved hands as he went to the kitchen, gesturing with full hands to the coat rack by the door. He placed the coffee on to the glass coffee table next to his book, grabbing his white cup in the process towards the kitchen.

His mug was placed in the sink and he went about unpacking the bag, grabbing two small plates and sliding a cake slice on to each, stopping for a moment when he realized it was strawberry cheesecake, and from the coffee shop where he’d fallen in love with said dessert. Maybe it was a simple task to forget everything that had happened in the last several months. Two small forks were grabbed from a drawer, and he headed back to the lounge, seeing Eren sat on the sofa, opposite the end to where his book was. He held out the plate, fork balanced next to the cake slice, Eren taking it with a small thanks. He sat back where he was, “thanks, for this, Hanji forgot the cake this year.” His eyes were firmly on the plate, now against a pillow on top of his thighs, fork held in his hand. 

“That’s okay, sir,” he replied quietly, happily tucking into his own slice of cake. Although strawberry was usually a tad sweet for him, there was just enough vanilla in this cheesecake to even it out. The layer of actual fruit in it didn’t hurt either. “Between the both of us I’m sure Hanji has a lot to think about..”

“Can you drop the sir? If we’re forgetting everything today, I’m not your superior, nor for anyone else, if Erwin decides correctly.” His voice became quieter as he spoke of not being anyone else’s superior since he thought Erwin would be dropping him after this since Eren wouldn’t want to hunt with him and he obviously wasn’t going to be allowed to hunt on his own at any point. The only logical course of action was to stop him hunting, to put him in another role. He didn’t think Erwin would let his talents be wasted in a coffee shop, though Levi would be quite happy with that. Eren was probably right, though, Hanji probably did have a lot to think about given the state of everything, and he was trying  _ not _ to think the same thoughts she’d probably had, given she’d left him to his own devices on his birthday.

He used his fork to finally cut into the cake, quite happy with how it tasted, his eyes closing briefly at the taste on his tongue. His eyes glanced to the book on the coffee table, having been rather getting into it, but knew he wouldn’t be able to pick it up for a heck of a while, even after Eren left because he eventually would. His mind would still be firmly on the male next to him. For now though, he pushed such thoughts out of his mind, eating the cake slowly, savouring its taste. He soon reached out and picked up the coffee that was clearly designated for him, taking a sip of the liquid inside, and not helping the quiet, muffled moan that bubbled in his throat after he swallowed. He had to give him his due, he clearly came to him with the intent of birthday wishes over Christmas, bringing him all his favourite things. He was surprised Eren even remembered him saying that he’d been mildly obsessed with the drink in question if he were honest.

"Sorry. Force of habit," he replied sheepishly. He couldn't really use that excuse given that he'd never slipped up once during the time Levi had lost his memories, but what the hell. "Is that for me?"  
"Well it's certainly not Hanji's, she's had her gift already. Who else do I ever get anything for, kid?" Levi's tone was a little sharp but still full of affection, and Eren nodded, his smile growing wider as he got to work opening his gift up. 

Levi watched with thinly-veiled interest at the others' progress as he finished off the cake slice, soon putting the plate on to Eren's, their forks together on top. He watched as he made short work of unwrapping the small gift, which had been wrapped even better than Hanji's, all finished off with ribbon and a small bow on top. 

The small silver bracelet had two interlocking wings at one end of the chain, one black, one white, and the sight made his throat tighten at the sudden wave of happiness that flooded him. He wasted very little time putting it on, happy that even if they weren't seeing each other anymore Levi had obviously still thought of him.

"Thank you, Levi." The words were still small, but not remotely as unsure as how he'd been before. He scooted along the sofa almost without thinking, pulling the older Nephilim into a hug, being able to be that close again calming him down almost instantly. He caught himself at the last second before he could allow his brain to slip up completely, narrowly avoiding the urge to drop a kiss on Levi's cheek before he pulled back a fraction, a small noise of contentment leaving him as he opted to nuzzle affectionately at his neck instead.

He hesitated but did bring his arms up and around Eren's waist, pulling him closer, the two almost laid against the arm of the sofa as Levi had flinched minutely to the left, not expecting such an affectionate move. "Yeah yeah, you're welcome." His tone sounded annoyed, but Eren would be able to tell he was smirking without looking, not being able to not be somewhat happy at the hug and Eren being here anymore. His head rested atop the younger Nephilim's head as he went to nuzzle his neck. "Thank you, for today." His hold became tighter, his eyes closing as he shifted slightly to sit up more. 

If this wasn't real, he never wanted it to end. He was more than happy to keep Eren in his arms and never let go. Thankfully, Eren seemed to have the same idea, the teen-only moving to grab the TV remote and was soon settling his head in Levi’s lap.

The sight was familiar and comforting and helped him to forget everything, even more, when the kid turned on the TV to some crappy Christmas film, so he grabbed his book again, resting it on Eren's side and starting to read, the fingers of the hand that weren’t steadying his book, slowly carding through his hair idly. "That's okay.. I don't care what's happened, I couldn't leave you alone. Not for this day." He smiled at that, a small, genuine smile as he heard the words and felt Eren's arm across his legs increase its hold around his thighs. The brat could be as sweet as sugar when he wanted to be, but in the back of his mind, he was still debating whether this small glimmer of hope that was starting to form was a good thing or not. 

The afternoon passed by in this fashion, Levi noticing that Eren wasn't letting him do all that much in terms of getting things, which was fine with him, happy to stay exactly where he was, waiting for him to come back to sit back down. Once he was, he'd always continue running his fingers through his hair, playing idly with the strands since Eren didn't tell him to stop. "Sorry to talk about work, but I don't trust anyone else enough to ask right now." And he trusted him enough to ask? "Have you ever heard of a lower class demon forcing a vessel to talk before? The last one talked to me.. it seemed like it knew me... and that's never happened before.." His question made him pause, his fingers stilling in the brown strands, eyes looking from the words on the page of his book, to Eren's face looking towards the TV. 

"It spoke to you?" A nod, "coherently?"  
"Pretty much." He was still looking at Eren, the others face blank from what he could see, eyes focused on the TV.   
"It must have been highly important. I've only heard of it happening a couple of times over the course of the last few decades, and that's only because The Legion were experimenting." He vaguely recalled the reports from years and years ago, knowing the names involved and refusing to acknowledge them today. "The higher functioning parts can kick in, in times of great need, like the ability to speak, normally to plead for its life. But the words always ended up jumbled in the tests I can recall. We had one on a case a few years ago, if you remember? There's also a chance that it's keeper was a higher level demon. That could help give it the power to do things it wouldn't normally do. Honestly, there's a whole boatload of politics and structure I've never even gone into with you since you were never interested." His hand started moving again, though his fingers much slower through the strands, his voice dropping slightly. "It must have really wanted you to know whatever it told you. I wouldn't take any of it lightly, even if it didn't make sense."

“Aren’t you going to open the rest of your birthday presents?”   
“Maybe later.” He really couldn’t be doing with it right now, and all he wanted to do was focus on Eren, who was here with him now, for this one day. The thought was an unsettling one since he knew he was going to have to leave at some point in the next few hours, and as much as he wanted to stop it, he knew that if he forced Eren to stay, it wouldn’t end well for either of them. He attempted to move his book so he could keep reading, though Eren was quite clearly adamant that he was opening presents, giving him his best puppy dog eyes and most adorable look, to make him cave. So Levi was soon taking the bags from him, Eren still against his chest, opening them around him. He pulled out Erwin’s first, seeing a small card, with biscuits and chocolates at the bottom of the bag, the card clearly stating he had the rest of the year off plus New Year’s Day and the week that followed. He didn’t need time off. He’d just spent months out of action and not able to hunt, he didn’t need more at all and he was quite prepared to go into work tomorrow and start hunting again, even if it was on his own.

Hanji’s was next, depositing the bag and card on to the coffee table, reaching back for Hanji’s, reading the card with a small laugh, shaking his head at the pushy bespectacled woman. He recognized the website, one she’d directed him to before, but now he had an account. Man, when she wanted something she went for it. He remembered now, and he still hadn’t got her back for Halloween. “What’s the website for?”  
“Nothing. Just Hanji trying to get me back behind a piano. It’s a sheet music depository website.”  
“That would be nice. It looks like I can get you something for your birthday aside from cake and a coffee after all. I don’t think Jean and Marco will mind helping.” The kiss to his neck made him freeze, not having expected such affection, but he didn’t exactly push it away, welcoming it in fact, pulling Eren closer to him after depositing the bag and again, bag full of sweet things to the coffee table. The male was now had his back against his chest, Levi making him scoot down slightly so he could lean better against the back of the sofa and it’s arm, arms hugging around the other tightly, clearly not wanting to let go. If he didn’t, the other couldn’t leave, or that was what his mind tried to offer him.   
“You really don’t have to do that. She’s just pressing her luck.”  
“I want to.”  
“You don’t need to go to such hassle for me anymore. I can do without the keyboard. You being here right now is enough of a gift, and I barely deserve that, Eren.” 

He hadn’t wanted to bring down the tone of Eren being with him, but it was inevitable, and he wanted to not feel as much pain as he was when Eren did leave. He knew it was coming, and he’d have to deal with it. Erwin giving him time off wasn’t going to help matters, since all he would be thinking about is Eren, and how easy it had been to forget because the second Eren left, it was all going to start flooding back to him in an instant.

"I guess I can't help it. Somehow I get the feeling I'm never going to be done with you, Levi..." he looked away from the TV at the words, grey eyes going to the top of Eren's head,   
"What?"  
"What?"  
"I said it first, Eren."  
"Why did you say what?"  
"What did you say?" Eren turned slightly in his arms, his head now against his shoulder, twisting to look up at him.   
"I said I don't think I'm ever going to be done with you. Why?"  
"I just... Nothing, just... thought I’d heard that somewhere before. Maybe a dream..." 

He'd definitely heard it before, once upon a dream. The Eren he'd dreamt up, the rougher version of the brat within his arms had said it to him, had said those exact same words, more or less. But that had been a dream, that hadn't been real. "Was it a good dream?" It was clear Eren was trying to bring him back to the here and now, Levi's hands having slid to the Nephilim's legs, expression turning somewhat vacant, as he felt a hand on his neck as he heard the words. 

"Dream?"  
"Where you'd heard what I said before. Was it good?"  
"Yeah. Yes. It was a good dream." His lips pulled up into a small half-smile, fingers reaching up to brush against Eren's jaw lightly, not being able to stop himself. Clearly he was a complete glutton for punishment, when it came down to it, both emotionally and physically. He already wasn't going to cope with Eren leaving, might as well add ammunition to the like that was already there, eh?

* * *

He woke, the next morning, sluggish and feeling like he'd slept like a log the entire night. He knew where he'd fallen asleep, and it certainly wasn't his bed. He sat upright, hand rubbing at his eyes, Eren nowhere to be seen in his bedroom. If his mind was playing tricks on him again, heads were going to most definitely roll. He threw the comforter off, finding himself still fully clothed, the clock reading 8:23 AM. He headed to the living room, seeing Erens empty gift box, a small piece of paper next to it. He wandered over, slender fingers picking it up as he noticed it was Eren's writing. 

_ ‘Thank you, for giving me the opportunity to stay with you on your day. I hope it cheered you up.  _

_ Eren x’ _

It had cheered him up, and this more confirmed completely that none of it was a dream. His body relaxed at the thought, heading to go shower now he knew he’d spent the day with the other Nephilim, trying not to think on just how bad it hurt to not have him there when he woke just now.

At 1 PM, Hanji made her presence known, storming into the apartment with Jean and Marco in tow, carrying a rather hefty keyboard between them, Hanji carrying the stand. "Sugar look what I found outside! Apparently it's from Eren!"  
"Yeah, he was round yesterday."  
"Say what now?!" She rounded on him, after putting the stand down on the chair.   
"He showed up just after you left yesterday."  
"What for?"  
"He didn't want me spending my birthday alone." Hanji gave a small smile as Levi directed Jean and Marco to place the keyboard down on the sofa, Marco insisting he didn't lift it while they were here and to set it up somewhere. He helped them move furniture in the lounge so that he could get it against the wall in the corner. It looked right at home, like it had been the one thing that had been missing, and not a brown-haired Nephilim that  _ should _ be at his side. Both Jean and Marco wished him a belated Happy Birthday before leaving, Jean refusing to make eye contact with him. That left Hanji, who was already powering up his laptop. "Don't think I've forgotten about what you did to me on Halloween."  
"I haven't the faintest idea what you're talking about." She gave him a wink, having extracted the card, already tapping in his details, showing him what she'd already put on there, there being more than he could count, some favourited. 

She left, after spending all afternoon with him, thoroughly taking his mind off the pain in his heart for Eren no longer being with him, leaving him to watch the crappy shows that flooded his TV, soon falling asleep with the balcony doors slightly ajar, since at one point he'd been watching the snowfall from where he lay, having been too warm, the glass having fogged over considerably.


	7. Chapter 7

"Morning, sunshine." The small kiss and the words did little to help prove he was awake, given Eren shouldn’t be curled up next to him. That was his first clue that something was amiss, the second was when his eyes met a golden gaze. Eren’s eyes weren’t gold… His body froze, his mind reeling, his Nephilim senses picking up the aura loud and clear, as if Eren was wearing it around his neck like a neon sign. It set his nerves on edge, his wings twitching with anticipation, ready and waiting to be shown to the world to get home as far away as possible. He wouldn’t hurt Eren, no matter what demon was wearing him, he couldn’t do it. 

“You’re…” Golden eyes looked at him expectantly, Levi swallowing, wanting nothing more than to move out from under this creature, but his body wasn’t willing.   
“I’m…?” He dragged the syllable out, waiting, just waiting.   
“Not… Eren…” He tried to move, the demon before him holding him in place, not letting him move away, to get up and walk backwards.

"Except... I am. After a fashion, at least. I'm what's left of him.. cute, lonely little pup. You left him for so long, after all. He had to fill the gap somehow." The nuzzling that this form of Eren was doing, it made his blood run cold, not wanting to taint the memory he had of the other night. His arms moved instinctively, pushing Eren up and off him so the other was sat on the other end of the sofa. He scrambled up so he was sitting himself.   
“No. You’re not him. You’re not…” He moved, annoyed at himself for even letting this man get into his apartment. He pushed himself from the sofa and rounded the coffee table, whirling back to see Eren now stood on the other side, watching him.  
“Think I just said I was, didn't I? I thought after the other night you’d welcome another chance to see little old me.”   
“The other night…?” His brain whirred, his eyes drifting from Eren’s form, not seeing the other move as his mind cast back to the night he thought had been a dream, the eyes, the aura, the wings, it all clicking into place. He hadn’t dreamt that, oh dear god that hadn’t been a dream... He’d actually… he’d… His hands curled into fists, his face becoming paler than normal, eyes angled down to the floor now, “oh god, that wasn’t a dream…”    
“I played you completely, didn't I,  _ Corporal?" _ The hurt tone made him look up, seeing Eren a lot closer than he should be, until the last word, until he spoke the title and a laugh passed his lips. "Although I didn't lie to you. I'll make you crawl for me eventually." He didn’t care, he moved backwards again, towards the kitchen.   
“I’ll never be on my knees for  _ you. _ Get that delusion out of your head.” It was so drastic, the way he was yesterday to now. How had this happened? Was this being inside Eren constantly? And not in the way a demon would be, he spoke of them being the same person. He couldn’t wrap his head around it.

Eren soon caught up to him, quicker than he was in this state of shock, thoroughly confused, hands on his hips and guiding him against the wall leading to the kitchen. “You say that like you have a choice,  _ sir _ .”   
“Of course I’ve got a choice.” Hands connected with his shoulders, pushing harshly, causing Eren’s form to stumble back a few steps, Levi heading straight for the open balcony, slipping out the door, his wings bursting from his back. He was quite prepared to run, as his knees bent, ready to take flight, to go straight to HQ and find out what the heck was happening with Eren.

His knees locked, and he had to bring his hands up to grip the railings to stop him falling, knuckles white as he gripped. "Do you? Really? Because if you leave, what is there to stop me from hurting this body?" Grey eyes caught the movement, looking to Eren’s hand, following it down as it trailed his side, "it won't do  _ me _ any damage, after all.  _ He _ will be the one who has to recover from whatever I do.. if he survives."  
“You wouldn’t… You need the body to survive.”  
“Do you really want to test that?” In all fairness, he didn’t, and his mind had gained the fog from before, wondering why he was so susceptible to the demonic aura he was breathing in like oxygen. After a few minutes of a staring match, he looked away, his wings slowly vanishing from view. He couldn’t risk it, he couldn’t put Eren in danger of having to recover from whatever the demonic Eren in front of him would have planned if he left. His eyes looked to the city below, as he felt the fog lift, allowing him to move his knees to brace himself against the balcony, the snow and the cold not seeming to bother him in the slightest as he gripped the railing in a steel grip, eyes hard as he looked away from the other. “Good choice, though I’m not sure I like the idea of not seeing them wings…”  
“Tough. Get used to the idea.”  
"I won't have to, really... You'll let me in eventually." Levi looked cautiously to the hand that was outstretched as Eren pushed away from the door. Like hell was he taking it. How stupid did he think he was? "Or maybe you already have?" He flinched, his body going rigid, hands staying right where they were. He felt the aura as it attempted to flood his mind, the clearly focused attack trying to pinpoint the small chips in his defences.  
"I won't let... You in..."  
"You will, give it time." He felt the aura recede, but could still feel its presence within his mind. "Maybe not all that long, id I have my way." 

He moved backwards and out of sight. Levi wanted to stay right where he was for the remainder of the night, till the other left, till he was on his own again, but he knew he couldn't stay here. His body was already betraying him, shaking due to the cold, the snow still slowly falling on to the bare skin of his arms. He willed his hands to release, and through all better judgment, remembered his apartment slowly, eyes looking around, seeing Eren leaning against the arm of the sofa, still quite close to him. "What do you want?"  
"I want you." 

Great. Here he was, right back against the wall, the demon crowding him enough that it made him slightly nervous. They’d been here before. He needed an out. "All of you. I want to own you the way you own  _ him _ . And.. I guess I want him to be happy, too. I'm so sick of watching him get hurt.” It was so strange, hearing him talk about himself as if he were two people. He was only just getting his head around it, even with the dull stabbing in the side of his head still trying to work its way in. Levi himself didn’t want to see Eren hurt, which was why, right now, he was having trouble with pushing the other away more violently. He’d had his head turned to the side, his eyes sliding slightly to give the golden eyes before him a sideways glance before his head followed.

“I don’t want to see him hurt either.”  _ Eren  _ he didn’t want to see hurt. This version, he’d happily punch in the face and kick while down, but the earlier comment made him hesitate on that, about what he’d said about it being Eren that would have to recover from whatever happened. “You’ll never have me that way. There’s no point in trying. He owns me already.”

Levi relaxed rather noticeably, still leaning against the wall as he was given a way away from Eren, soon watching the wings shift as Eren moved back away from him.

That didn’t sound good, but he was thankful for the aura to have been drawn back, feeling like he could think again, but by no means dropping any defence he had within his skull, and he doubted he would at any point bar sleeping now, and even then it was debatable. He was a light sleeper, he could throw up walls left right and centre, and quickly when needed. 

Levi took a deep breath, hands curling into fists. He couldn’t let this slide. Within seconds of deciding, a blast emitted from him, Eren stumbling and vanishing from view. His arm extended, ready for a weapon to hit his palm. It didn’t happen, however, a swirl of black smoke forming in the way of the wooden staff that tried to make it to his hand. 

Eren grabbed his wrist and the demonic aura hit his full force, almost knocking the wind out of him. He went with the momentum, turning and swiping his foot under Eren’s, knocking him down and wooden staff soon hitting his once again outstretched hand. By the time he stood, weapon trained downwards, Eren was gone. “Fuck…” Within a beat of his heart arms were around his shoulders pulling backwards so he hit a firm chest. 

“Drop it.” Levi blinked rapidly, demonic aura licking at his mind. “ _ Drop. It. _ ” It might be wooden, but the demon clearly knew that Levi could do a fair bit of damage with even a wooden staff if he wanted to. It took a moment of mental struggling, but Levi did drop it, only to pull Eren over his shoulder and send him to the floor. His mind was still fogged, but that didn’t stop him holding out his arm and forcing Eren to stay in place. 

“Leave. Him.”   
“No.”  
“Don’t make me force you.”   
“Oh _Corporal_ , I‘d like to see you try.”   
“You’re not him.”   
“I'm more him than he is.”   
“I can see the difference. You are  _ not  _ him. You don’t need to keep coming here to parade it. I don’t want you here.” Which was true, he wanted  _ his _ Eren, not this cheap imitation, and as he looked on, he was trying his hardest not to think of the words that he had hurt Eren as well.

Eren had vanished in a swirl of smoke there, Levi relaxing a few minutes later once he didn’t reappear. This couldn’t end well. His phone was quick to be in his hand, Erwin's name filling the screen. Once it started ringing, it was at his ear. “Erwin, we’ve got a problem. Get over here.” He hung up promptly, to force the man to get here, which he did. 

“What’s the matter, Levi?”   
“Eren.” Erwin stopped on his way in from the balcony, giving him a questioning look.   
“What about Eren?”   
“He’s possessed. I need you to get over to his place and fix it.” Erwin couldn’t believe his ears.  
“Nephilim can’t be possessed, Levi, there are things in place to stop that happening.”    
“Well, it’s happened!” Levi’s voice rose, “just, please. Check this out for me?” It took him a few moments but Erwin nodded.   
“Personally.” He headed out the way he came in, Levi closing the balcony doors with a sigh. 

It wasn’t long till he heard back from Erwin, Hanji having confirmed that everything was fine. Eren was himself, as was Armin, and nothing was out of the ordinary bar Levi’s behaviour. He couldn’t understand. Surely just one look at Eren’s eyes would give them all the proof that they needed...

* * *

  
  
His week passed by slowly. Though slow might have been an understatement, given the amount of hassle that seemed to be occurring in his life right now. Not only was there the fact that he’d not seen Eren,  _ his Eren _ , since the 25th. The Demonic version, however, had been by every night, making his presence known but not actually coming into the apartment. At one point, he’d been half asleep, wandering into the living room with just his pj bottoms on, ready to go to bed and almost had a heart attack when he felt his mind attacked and Eren standing outside his door. It had probably been the only time his guard wasn’t fully up and he’d felt it after Eren had smirked and flown away. He’d struggled to sleep afterwards, this whole thing wearing on him, mind and body. 

He’d barely been sleeping, and he was damn thankful now that Erwin had given him time off for his birthday/Christmas. It meant he could just  _ sleep _ , even during the day. Hanji had come round at one point, to find him completely out on the sofa, having to go through the balcony window. When she’d woke him, he’d flinched so much that she’d had to take several steps away from him, assuring him that it was her. This whole situation was throwing him so out of whack, and he just wanted it to get fixed so that everything could go back to normal. He couldn't even tell her Eren was taken over by a Demon. They’d already shot him down on that front. When he had mentioned it again a couple of days after he’d got Erwin over, they’d said he was paranoid.

  
December 31st rolled around, and he was sat curled up on his sofa with a book, hot drink in front of him on his coffee table. He dreaded today, planning on going to bed well,  _ well _ , before midnight just to save himself the pain that would happen come the chime of the New Year. That plan, though, was soon short-lived. “God damnit Levi, you open this door now. I will break it. So help me  _ god _ , I will break it.” He smirked as he heard Hanji’s voice through the door. “I’ll come in through the balcony, don’t test me…”   
“Yeah? That’s locked too.” He shouted back, not taking his eyes from his book.  
“Damnit Levi, let me in. I’m not leaving until you do.” He looked up to the door, eyes on the white surface for a few minutes, hearing her mumbling on the other side, the door muffling her words. He sighed, eventually getting up and going to it, opening it leisurely, soon revealing an annoyed looking Hanji. “You’re not even ready!” She stormed in, closing the door behind herself and grabbing Levi’s wrist, tugging him to his bedroom.  
“Hanji, damnit, stop it. I’m not going.”   
“You are so going. Don’t even argue with me. You have been cooped up in this apartment for far too long. It’s sending you stir crazy.”  
“No, it’s not.”   
“How many times have you seen Eren when he’s not been there this past week? Hmm? You’re going to go insane if you stay in there. Hell, you’ve had food delivered so you wouldn’t have to go outside.” She stopped dragging him once they got to the doorway, going to his closest and pulling out something that wasn’t nightwear, it ending up being fitted clothing, something to show him off, he imagined. “You’re going. Get dressed.”

He took his sweet time, making sure to make Hanji wait as long as possible, seeing if she’d jump in and start dressing him, which she did try to, only to see him pulling on his boots, standing up a moment later, a low whistle sounding from her. “Damn you scrub up good boy.”   
“I still don’t want to go.”   
“Tough. You’re going, out.” He grabbed his things, barely protesting as she steered him to the balcony after locking the doors for him. They took off into the air, flying the short distance it took to get to the coffee shop, it being just after 9 PM. “Once you have a drink in you, I’m sure you’ll be fine.”   
“It’s going to take more than just a single drink, Hanji.” They touched down in the alleyway behind the shop, hiding their wings and heading for the door. Music was playing within the walls, it already packed, it being the same setup as Halloween. He tried to slink away, Hanji not letting him, pulling him to the bar and getting him a drink or what looked like a strong percentage, given the liquids that went into making it. “Drink this.” He did. Downed it in fact, it even caused Hanji to raise an eyebrow. He had a blink a few times after he gave the glass to her, “you really don’t want social interaction do you?”  
“What gave it away?” 

She handed him another one, Levi quite happily heading over to the far corner nook with it, snagging another so he didn’t have to move for a while, everyone was up dancing, so it was empty when he got there, sliding in, rather tempted to see if he could fall asleep against the cushions despite the noise. Hell, he could always head upstairs. He placed the glasses on to the table before him, Grey eyes on his fingers as they traced around the rim of the glass that was closest to him. He hoped for everyone’s sake that they just left him alone, that the vibe he was obviously giving off said  _ ‘doesn’t want to be here.’ _ Erwin had approached, about an hour later at 10, two drinks in hand, clearly wanting to join him, but the fact that Levi gave him a look that said  _ ‘sit down and you won’t see the New Year,’ _ made him place the drink down and back away and become lost within the crowd. He crossed his right leg over his left, folding his arms as he sat back in the chair, looking out the window, watching the array of fireworks going off in the clear night sky, whiling away the evening as best he could… Hell, he’d even taken out his phone at one point.

  
  


As Eren sat down with him at midnight, his glare being ignored, he looked away, not wanting to stop and think why he was sat down next to him. It wasn’t as though they were going to be able to follow tradition. He looked at Eren's drink, wondering if the male had ordered that himself. Though he shouldn’t be surprised, really, it was that kind of thing that made him how he felt towards the Nephilim. His gaze was redirected to the party, after seeing Eren’s slightly dejected look at the fact the cherry had no stem. He watched, as everyone started to cheer, the whole lot of them being considerably louder, drowning it out as they began to count from ten. 

_ 10! 9!  _

He sighed, looking to his thighs, wishing beyond reason that he could kiss the man beside him.

_ 8! 7! _

His frown became more prominent, his fists clenching.

_ 6! 5! _

Why’d he even sit next to him? 

_ 4! _

What was the point in coming anywhere near him? He could see it was his Eren, could sense the Nephilim stronger than ever.

_ 3! _

Though if Eren had sat beside him….

_ 2! _

He looked to Eren, a beat faster than him, watching the other look towards him, 

_ 1! Happy New Year!!! _

They didn’t even waste time saying the 3 short words, the movement being seamless, their lips meeting, Levi’s hand quick to come up underneath Eren’s chin, fingers gripping gently, feeling Eren’s own moving to his arms, gripping against his forearms, Levi’s other holding him to stop him falling forwards. His eyes were closed, and his body shivered, his mind singing with the feeling. He knew that a blush had covered his cheekbones, hid fingers increasing their grip slightly, feeling Eren’s tongue against his lips, and for once he didn’t protest, letting the brat deepen the kiss however much he wanted, it being a lot, in fact, Eren scooting closer, a hand gripping the front of his shirt, pulling him closer. It went on this way, for a few minutes, far longer than anyone else in the room bar the odd couples that were there, and even then they outlasted the lot of them, Levi ending up being the one to break the kiss, breathing heavily, eyes still directed to Eren’s lips which were still barely a few inches from his own. “Happy to be your cherry stem,” grey eyes looked up to forest green, a sparkle within them that hadn’t been there for so long, something he only had with Eren.

He wanted nothing more than to press his lips to Eren’s again, eyes flicking down to red lips as the other pulled away, Levi’s hand sliding from Eren’s jaw. He saw the glass rise and watched Eren disappear into the crowd, eyes sliding back to where the Nephilim had been sat, darting back and forth slightly, soon closing as he breathed in, and feeling a hand on his shoulder. It caused him to look round, seeing a smiling Hanji leaning over him. “Another drink?”  
“I think I’m going.”   
“Levi…”  
“Hanji… just... don’t.” He stood, the woman pulling him into a hug, one he almost didn’t return. His arms slid from her, her hand catching him and pulling him towards the door, slipping out, away from the crowded space and the music thrumming around them.

“I knew you wouldn’t be able to resist.”  
“When can I ever? It’s killing me. This whole...  _ mess _ , is killing me.”   
“It’ll get better.”   
“I can’t live like this, I can’t live in hope of the next small moment I’ll get. I can’t... I just can’t do it.”   
“Levi…”  
“Hanji, don’t.” She looked to him as he began to walk away, though saw him stop. “Tell Erwin I’ll be hunting tomorrow night.”  
“You’ve got tomorrow off.”  
“Do I look like I care?” He levelled her with a stern look over his shoulder. “I’ll start at HQ.” 

His wings unfurled and carried him up into the night sky, revelling at the fireworks exploding around him, not quite high enough to get in the way of any, thankfully he had better sense. He took a moment to admire them, the colours bouncing off his now slightly off white wings, but he was soon heading home, touching down on his balcony, unlocking the door from the outside and heading into the warmth, his wings vanishing from view as he shut the doors, locking them behind him.

His feet carried him to the kitchen, grabbing a glass of water, heading to his bedroom, fully intending to sleep the night away as soundly as he could. Though, that being said, it probably wasn’t going to be as soundly as he liked. His mind was already on edge, and although he’d seen his Eren, the demonic copy had yet to rear his face today at any point, so he was sure he’d be woken by that, whenever he decided to stop by to prod at his mind. He stripped, in loose-fitting PJ pants and a tank top that left his shoulders exposed. He slipped in under the covers, turning the light off on the bedside table, eyes staring at the ceiling as he rolled on to his back. 

Levi passed several hours by, watching the fireworks through the doors leading to the large balcony, wishing he could have them open, being a little warm, but if he left them open, people he didn’t want here were just going to waltz through them like they owned the place… like they owned  _ him _ . The thought made him shift, his room lighting up with the brilliant red firework that erupted in the night sky.

The morning brought forth a groggy looking Levi, feeling like he’d barely slept at all. As he went to sit up in bed, the strong smell of sulphur hit his nostrils, Levi fighting his gag reflex just to stop himself throwing up at the smell. It made him quick to get out of the covers, his legs barely holding him upright, and headed into the lounge, throwing the balcony door open and letting the cold air hit his face, finally breathing in again, deep and slow. 

The sulphur only meant one thing, Eren had been here during the night. Doing what? He didn’t even want to think about, and he was starting to wonder how to keep the other out. Maybe demon proofing his apartment was finally in order. He swore he’d never do it, not liking to plaster the marking and sigils all over his living space, since it was like a rather nice neon sign to anyone that saw it… Demonic, Nephilim, Angel or otherwise. Levi soon sat heavily on to the sofa, ending up falling sideways, mind slipping away from him and into a dreamland he really shouldn’t have been entering. It wasn’t until around 4 PM that he woke again, feeling slightly better, but still somewhat shaky on his feet. The shower that followed did him a world of good, waking him up, soothing his muscles and taking his mind of everything for a short space of time, until he was in his bedroom, clothes on, doing his harness up over his legs and torso. 

He made short work of leaving and getting to HQ, heading straight for Erwin’s office, adamant he was hunting today whether Erwin said so or not.

“You don’t have anyone to hunt with. I haven’t found someone suitable yet.”  
“There’s only one person suitable, and we both know that’s a bad idea.”  
“Is it? Is it really? I think you would be alright with Eren.”  
“Erwin, don’t. Just… assign me someone.” He frowned, hands stuffed into his pockets as he stood facing the man, his wings actually still out for a change and Erwin was clearly distracted by their subtle shift in colour.  
“It's not that simple and you know it.”   
“Fine.” Levi turned on his heel, heading to the door.  
“Fine? What do you mean fine? Levi stop.” He did, his hand on the door handle.  
“Fine as in, I’m going anyway.”  
“Like hell you are. You are not hunting on your own.”   
“Why?” a steely gaze was thrown over his shoulder, “I’ve done it before.”  
“Not in this state you haven’t.”  
“Fine, I’ll go home.” Levi had surrendered far too quickly and Erwin knew for a fact, as he walked out the door, the Nephilim slamming it behind him, that he definitely wasn’t going out hunting. 

Erwin’s phone was soon in his hand, thumb tapping numbers furiously fast, it being brought to his ear, “Hanji, drop whatever you’re doing. Find Levi. Now, please…” He rolled his eyes. “Well, for starters he’s going hunting… Yes I know that’s not an issue, but he is going alone… Oh shit indeed. Find him,” He hung up, the phone being thrown to his desk, looking to the window, seeing Levi flying off in the direction that was opposite of home. 

An hour past and he thought he was doing quite well, to avoid anyone Erwin would most likely have sent after him. His mind instantly thought Jean or someone else that he’d coaxed into pairing with him last minute, but the surprise came when Hanji stopped the blow that would have rendered him unconscious. “You sadistic,” a punch to the demon's face, “masochistic,” a kick to the demon's abdomen, “little piece,” a sharp knife through the demon's skull, “of pain in my ass.” The demon fell to the floor, sliding off as a deadweight from her knife. Her gaze rounded on him there, Levi leaning against the wall. “How dare you put your life at risk because you are a stubborn piece of ass.”  
“Hanji…”  
“Don’t you ‘Hanji’ me, Levi.” Levi sighed, brushing himself off, “now I’ve been sent to pair with you. And we don’t pair well, Levi, not at hunting.”  
“Sure we do. We always used to.”   
“Yes, we do at first. But then a few kills in, it all starts falling apart.”  
“Well, why’d you have to go ahead and jinx it sugar?” Levi’s voice took on his best Hanji impression, actually doing well enough with the tone and the name to stop her in her rant.  
“God damn it, Levi, now I’m too proud to even be mad at you.” She saw him smirk before he gestured to the sky.   
“Come on, this guy had a friend.”

  
  
"So you've not even  _ looked _ at that website? I spent good money on that."  
"No one asked you too." They were perched atop a rather large building, overlooking the city, waiting for the lead that would take them to their next target. Levi had made it priority number one to get back to his usual level of hunting, hence the lunchtime hunting. It was proving difficult and he couldn't understand why.   
"But you enjoy playing. Maybe it'll help take your mind off things a little?"  
"Or maybe it won't."  
"You won't know unless you try." Half an hour passed them both by as they waited, Hanji lecturing him on how he was only adding to the misery that was his life by not doing anything about it. The whole speech fell on almost deaf ears, Levi listening every now and then, but really not all that much. 

Levi had effectively got his mind off Eren until Hanji mentioned midnight and how she'd bet and won. The only comment he'd made on the subject was the fact that it was the easiest bet she'd ever suggested and that the money was practically free. Eren was right on one thing, he was universally consistent, and there was no way he would pass up the chance to have Eren's lips against his own. Period. Hanji got the call for this lead there, the Nephilim pulling him rudely from his thoughts, tugging him to listen. They headed off as stealthily as they could. Levi’s logic had been, the more chance of getting caught, the better his reflexes would kick in, and no one could agree, because he’d have gone anyway, so here Hanji was, in her lunch break, taking out demons instead of actually getting herself some downtime for food. No one wanted to let Levi loose on the city on his own, yet no one but her and Erwin was willing to hunt with him, and Levi wasn’t about to let Erwin stand side by side with him on a job.

It was a relatively simple exorcism, Hanji chanting away as Levi held them still, not allowing them to leave in the slightest. The only thing that had bothered him, was how much he could feel the demonic aura surrounding the piece of filth between his arms. It made him nauseous, and it didn’t seem to be bothering Hanji that much. If anything, he’d have thought he’d be getting used to the stench by now, given dark side Eren’s constant bothering him at night, but it seemed to be getting worse. Maybe it would get worse before it got better? That is what they said, right? “I need food.” He lay the body of the teen in his arms onto the sofa that was close by,   
“We have more jobs.”   
“They can honestly wait till tonight. I have work to do and you need some downtime.” He couldn’t argue, he knew if he argued much more, he’d be  _ forced _ to take time for himself and eat and do all the things he needed. And by forced he definitely meant knocked out or sedated and taken home against his will. “I’ll meet you at HQ at 7. We can go from there.”  
“Sure.”   
“Get back safe. Promise me you will look at that website.”  
“Yeah yeah, I’ll look.” They were leaving via the window they came in, and Hanji dropped straight to the floor, Levi watching her run around the corner before following suit. They weren’t far from where he lived, so he happily walked back, the weather being decent enough, and he probably  _ shouldn’t _ use his wings in case he was caught flying too low. It was amazing what humans refused to acknowledge, but those that did, freaked out majorly, and it was far too much hassle than it was worth, sometimes.


	8. Chapter 8

While demons were at the forefront of his mind, he couldn’t help but let the demonized version of Eren slip into his thoughts and he was quick to rush home after that. Determination now on his face. The second he got in he slid his coat off, forgoing getting changed out of the red and black attire since it was useless to take the harness off only to put it back on later. Soon enough, a black marker pen was in his hand, skilful fingers soon drawing on every window, starting with the kitchen, his elegant scrawl covering it rather quickly. He did the front door too, though drawn on paper for that one and stuck it securely on to the wood, not wanting to mark the door in the slightest but making it so every room was covered. Then came the balcony doors, every single pane of glass since it was in sections, had some form of symbol drawn on to it. He nodded to himself as he looked over his work. Sure, people would think it was weird, but screw them, he felt better just knowing they were there if he were perfectly honest. He managed to put together a chicken stew, leaving it to simmer on the stove for the next 4 hours, ending up on the account Hanji had set up for his birthday, he had promised her he’d look after all.   
  
The whole process of looking through the sheer amount of sheet music she’d collated for him got the ball rolling, he got the itch to play. He knew full well if he sat down and played, he wouldn’t make it to HQ by 7 in the slightest. So he just went through it and once his food had stewed for enough time 4 hours later, he sat on the sofa with bread, still looking. Maybe it would take his mind off things? It certainly had just looking through the links.   
  
Once 6:50 PM hit he’d locked up and was flying to meet Hanji, the woman looking tired but otherwise enthusiastic. Apparently she’d had a grueling afternoon and was quite happy now, to kill some demons that were running about New York. It made the hunts almost seamless, working how they used to, bar the odd hiccup of lack of communication. Because they’d been going so well, he’d fallen into the routine rather quickly he’ll admit, of barely talking about hunts. With Eren, he never had to bother. They could read each other so well that they barely had to even glance at the other to know what they were going to do, or were thinking of doing, so you could change your course of action accordingly. With Hanji? Not so much. It meant that a couple of times they got injured where they shouldn’t have done, though nothing major, the odd cut and scrape, Levi’s nastiest being a slice on his forearm with a rather sharp knife. By the time he got home, it was already puckering as it slowly healed.

He changed, it took him a while to get out of the harness, slowly starting to get used to it again. Hell the first time he got so frustrated with it he’d just kept it on until he’d seen Hanji the next morning. He was in comfy clothes now and feeling a heck of a lot better with the demon proofing up, knowing it would at least hinder the other if he were to stop by, though he did hope it would stop him completely. He’d happily stay indoors and not go out of his apartment. People delivered everything these days.

He pulled at the tank top’s hem, soon stretching upwards as he walked into his lounge, his eyes scanning, just making sure he was still alone. When his eyes fell on the balcony he realized he wasn’t, though was rather relieved to not see Eren standing there looking pissed. Instead, an angry look gracing his own face once it clicked that it was Armin, mingling with the tired look about him, barely having slept well since this whole thing started. He strode over to the door, unlocking it and yanking it open. “What the hell gave you any notion that you are welcome here?”

Armin almost took half a step backwards, stopping himself at the last moment as he reminded himself why he was here. He couldn't afford to shrink back now that Eren's happiness was on the line. Not when it was partially his fault. Eren would never try to fix this of his own accord, so he had to do it for him. Even if that meant letting him go.

Holding his hands up in a 'don't kill me' gesture, he sighed.

"Because you need to hear what I have to say," he replied simply. “Why are your doors demon proofed?” Levi didn’t answer, staring Armin down to force him to keep going. "Ok… I took more than a few.. well, liberties. While you were injured."   
"You don't say."   
"I know you know what the Commander and I did the night of the Halloween party." Armin wasn't looking at him now, turning to pace slightly across the balcony, because this was going to be hard to say without getting some form of beating for it, probably. "But after we went home.. events transpired. Or at least, Eren thinks they did." It was hard to manage the words, but he made sure he held eye contact while saying them. At this point, Levi deserved nothing less from him. "And I haven't disabused him of that idea.. not yet. That's why he keeps being.. indecisive."

“So you’re telling me…” His frown became more prominent, “that he is acting the way he is, because he thinks he fucked you into next Sunday?” He saw Armin’s face redden, and shift his weight from his left foot to his right foot, it honestly made Levi smirk as Armin looked at him in disbelief. “Please, like you’d have the balls to put him in his place.”  
“Lance Corporal, I don’t think you understand.”  
“I understand perfectly. You’re telling me you’ve lied. That you were a part of setting the pair of us up at that party. I’m pissed already, I’m too tired to care that you’ve strapped on a pair and told me. But I don’t quite understand why you’re telling  _ me _ , it’s him that you should be telling. I’m rather offended you blew up my relationship for you to just ogle your best friend.” His voice began to rise as he spoke, though not quite shouting. His fingers were gripping his upper arms, just above his elbows.

"With all due respect,  _ sir _ , if it weren't for me 'blowing up your relationship' Eren might not even have been alive for you to come back to." Ok, so  _ that _ stung. "While you were trying to piece your memory back together, he gave up.  _ He mourned you. _ Commander Erwin essentially tried to ensure Eren wouldn't be able to find you unless I stepped in." That made him see red. The second he heard Erwin’s name. His hands gripped tighter and he was sure the blood flow would be hindered, his brain forcing him to let go, which he did, but still kept his arms crossed. "He's been my best friend since he arrived. I couldn't stand by and watch him drink his way back into his cycle of reincarnations, not even over you. I couldn't lose him. I think you empathize with that, at least. What was I supposed to do?! I'll tell him.."

“Damn straight you’ll tell him. You should have told him  _ first _ . I will happily thank you for what you’ve done, Arlett, I wasn’t there to protect him like I should have been. Hell, this mess is my fault. But I’m not the only one at fault here. I remember what happened when I didn’t have my memories. I saw the marks on you  _ and _ him. Pressing an advantage on your supposed  _ best friend _ , ain't something a best friend would do now is it?” His voice was cold, his gaze even icier, “a best friend wouldn’t have lied, either.” He saw Armin’s jaw clench, “now leave. Go fix your mess.” It came out like the order he wanted to give, not being able to stop his mouth from issuing the command. They locked gazes, staring each other down for a moment, before Armin took off, not even issuing a goodbye.

Now it was time for Erwin.

He wasn’t mad at Armin, not really. Erwin will have encouraged the entire thing. It would have been his idea to do everything that happened, including keeping Eren away from him while he didn’t have his memories. Levi didn’t even know he was doing it till he was pulling on different clothes, fitted jeans and a white fitted t-shirt, heading straight for the balcony and taking off. It was 11, Erwin would still be at the office, no doubt fretting over something or other concerning him. Now he was about to have a whole new level of pain to fret over.

He touched down, the whole way there only managing to psych himself up even further. He touched down on the roof, storming down a few levels to Erwin’s office. The door was thrown open and he stormed in, wings once again hidden. In a meeting, Erwin? Yeah, not for long. “How fucking  _ dare _ you!?” His voice was raised, fists clenched at his sides, all Nephilim in the room looking to him, Erwin looking rather worriedly in his direction.

“Ok, guys, we’ll continue this in the morning.” The three Nephilim nodded, packing up their things and heading around Levi and out the door, all giving him and his rage a wide berth. “Levi, what brings you by so late?”  
“You. Armin just paid me a little visit.” Erwin froze and he adjusted his sitting position. “Yeah, a rather  _ nice _ visit about something between him and Eren, or not so much.”  
“Levi…”   
“No. How  _ dare _ you interfere.”  
“Levi I did no such thing.”  
“You stopped him seeing me!?!” He was shouting now, Erwin wasn’t worth holding back anything. “Stopped me seeing him?! My memory could have been restored  _ weeks  _ before it actually did!!” Erwin pushed himself out of his chair, standing up straight.

“I was looking out for you, that’s all.”   
“Looking out for me?! How the fuck is stopping him seeing me  _ looking out for me?!? _   
“I didn’t want your mind to overload on information. I didn’t want him to drag up something that would send you spiralling into a place you couldn’t come back from.”  
“You don’t know that that would have happened! How could you do that to me?! How could you let me live such a  _ fucking _ lie?!”  
“Levi, please, calm down.”  
“No! You know damn well that if I were in your shoes, I would have done  _ everything _ in my fucking power to get you your memories back! No matter the cost!”  
“Levi, I know, I do. But you can’t blow this out of proportion.”  
“Out of proportion…” His voice lower as he spoke, a dry laugh escaping his lips. “You’re fucking lucky I don’t stab you right here, Erwin.”

“You wouldn’t do that.” His hand reached to his waist quickly, silver dagger between his fingers, feet taking him towards the desk, Erwin looking at it, rather shocked as he raised his hands slightly. “Levi… come on now… You’re not thinking.”  
“I am thinking  _ perfectly _ .” A red mist had covered his mind. This man, this man caused all of this mess. It wasn’t him. It wasn’t Eren. It wasn’t Armin. It was  _ Erwin _ . “This is all your fault, Erwin.  _ Your  _ fault.” He rounded the desk, Erwin still backing away from the murderous glare Levi was giving him while wielding a weapon. “If you had stopped me going. If you had stopped us from going on that  _ damn _ job with Petra, now of this would have fucking happened.”

“Levi, you know damn well you weren’t going to listen to me if I told you not to go. Or Hanji for that matter. You’ve got a score to settle with her and I wasn’t about to stop you going.” He stopped moving, hand gripping the handle of the blade firmly in his right hand. He couldn’t hurt Erwin, he knew there was a reason the man was Commander of this, effectively running the place. He wouldn’t be opposed to letting Levi take his anger out on him either, before stopping him like Levi knew he could. And then he’d do something stupid, and try and calm him down the only other way he knew how, and yeah, Levi didn’t want those lips anywhere near him, if he were perfectly honest.

“You... are to stay away.”  
“What?”  
“You heard me. You stay away. From me, from Eren, hell, fucking stay away from Armin too while I’m at it. Since I'm guessing you're not thrilled with the fact the mushroom told me what actually happened between them. I’m sure you were hinging on that little fact to rile me up enough to move on from Eren and come running to you.”  
“Levi that was never my int-"  
“Don’t even… Don’t start with me.” His hand flexed around the handle of his blade, eyes looking towards Erwin. “I know full well what your  _ intentions _ were.”  
“You weren’t complaining at the time…” Erwin smirked as he spoke, Levi’s gaze making it vanish as quickly as it had appeared.  
“Did you  _ really _ just say that? Are you honestly screwing with me right now just to piss me off further?”  
“Sorry…”  
“Sorry doesn’t even begin to cover it. I didn’t have my memories and I was drunk beyond reason.”  
“That’s no excuse.”  
“Yes, it fucking  _ is  _ an excuse. I didn’t remember him. I couldn’t recall ever being  _ with  _ him. You took advantage of that. You started him fucking  _ mourning the loss of me... _ like I’d died and been thrown back in the ressing pool.”  
“You may as well have if you weren’t to recover your memories. If nothing were to trigger it, Levi. I wanted you to be happy, for him to be able to move on and not go crazy over you never going back to him.”  
“You wanted me to be happy?” His voice was incredulous.  
“That's all I ever wanted. Honestly Levi, you’d have been happy with me.” Levi closed his eyes, shaking his head, turning to face away from Erwin. “It never stopped you before.” Levi moved as quick as a snake, wings out, propelling him across the short space, pushing Erwin into the wall with a dull thud, blade pressed against his neck, the Commanders hands against his upper arm, Levi’s free hands pressing against his chest to hold him in place.  
  
“Don’t even  _ go _ there.”  
“Still a touchy subject?” The blade pressed into the skin further, making Erwin hiss. “Ok, so, still a touchy subject. Put the wings away,” his body shifted under Levi’s hold, the knife nicking the skin slightly, drawing a drop of blood, the blond hissing again. “You’ve made your point.”  
“Have I? Are you sure? I could make it a little more  _ red _ if you get my meaning.” 

Erwin frowned, his hands increasing their grip on Levi’s arms, the shorter Nephilim’s grey eyes going to the action. Erwin took his opportunity. Levi didn’t go down without a fight though, managing to get a solid few punches and slashes in until the knife was taken from him and thrown across the room, Erwin forcing him to go on the defensive and soon enough, Levi was on the floor beneath the strong body, holding him to the floor. “Now look here,  _ Lance Corporal, _ don’t start something you damn sure can’t finish.” Levi rolled his head towards the door, away from Erwin’s, lips now near his ear. “All I ever wanted was your happiness. The same way Armin wanted Eren to be happy. Though, maybe a little more intent behind the actions, since you were always the one that got away.”  
“Get the fuck off me.”  
“I will once you’ve listened.” He felt Erwin’s body shift against his own, his hands coming up to grab the man’s shoulders to try and push him off him, “now you’re going to get up, walk out my office, and calm down. You aren’t going on any jobs at all tomorrow, you’re taking the night off, and the rest of the week for that matter as previously planned. And by god Levi, if you haven’t even  _ spoken _ to Eren by the time Hanji next sees you, so help me I will not be as forgiving as I was just now.” Erwin pushed off from him, holding out a hand to help the dark-haired male to his feet, Levi ignoring it completely, leaving the knife behind and storming out the door, it slamming behind him.

He was soon back on the roof, off white wings stark against the night sky, heading for home. He was angry beyond reason, and he couldn’t stop it. He was going to go home, go to bed angry, and wake up even worse for it. At least it meant he’d be seeing Eren, hopefully, if Armin actually had the balls to go through with telling the other the lies he’d been told. He was soon touching down on his balcony, unlocking the door. He headed into his apartment slowly, shutting the door a little too hard behind him and making sure it was locked again.

He wanted to break something, he needed to break something. He knew full well if he went out and attempted to kill something, he’d end up injured himself, or worse. He was soon in his room, stripping and getting changed back into what he had before, fully intending to go to bed angry. He moved back into his lounge, not even noticing Eren on the balcony, though soon froze, seconds later as the other gained access to his apartment. "Honey, I'm home..." He sighed, looking around, turning his body slowly.

“For fucks sake.” The eyes were the giveaway, and he had to wonder how the hell he’d got past the defences he’d put in place. He knew he hadn’t messed them up, but his brain was too occupied right now to care. “Just get the fuck out. If you want to harass me, pick tomorrow or something.” 

He couldn’t be doing with this, not tonight. He knew full well Eren wasn’t going to just leave when asked, which is why he didn’t make the request the least bit politely.

"Hey, relax." he replied, holding his hands out as if to appease Levi's anger with the gesture. "I told you before I'm not here to hurt you, remember?" At the same time, the aura spiked full force, wearing down at the already low barriers that remained to keep him out. Once they snapped once and for all, right now all Levi would feel was the urge to cave. To give up, let go of the anger and let him closer. He was happy to wait and watch until that happened, wanting to see the look on his face as it all came crashing in on him.

Levi had flinched, hands curling into tighter fists, eyes shutting. He felt the compulsion to do as he was asked, to relax and calm down, to not be angry. But he couldn’t, Erwin’s face flashing through his mind, grey eyes open again and back on Eren. 

“You…” His hands unclenched, his mind making him dizzy as he fought against the conflicting emotions, knowing he should be extremely angry right now, but his brain telling him otherwise. “I can’t just…  _ relax _ Eren. I can’t…” He raised his hands, the heels of his palms pressing against his eyes, white spots starting to appear behind his eyelids.

He hadn’t protested when Eren had moved closer, when his hands found his arms and moved down, taking his hands away from his face. He swallowed, the reassuring gesture doing more than it should have, his eyes still closed. He breathed as he was told to, deeply in and out, feeling his mind ease, his anger ebb away until he opened his eyes, grey eyes darting across Eren’s chest. “Levi?” His eyes looked up, his hands dropped from between them to his sides, still feeling Eren’s hands against his upper arms, still rubbing in comforting circles. He felt something give, like a weight was being lifted and all at once he felt dizzy, feeling Eren all around him, more than he should feel, the male being before him.

“Eren…” His voice was light as if just waking from sleep, his eyes fluttering slightly, wanting to give in and relax completely, to sleep any and all trouble away. 

His knees began to feel weak and as if Eren could read his mind he felt his grip increase, and his own hands came up slowly to rest on the males hips, his eyes only ever breaking the golden-green gaze when they fluttered, attempting to close. He tried to steady himself, to keep himself upright, but he could feel himself going, the feeling of Eren inside his head became too much for him, and he knees gave way, dropping harshly, Eren letting him, hands guiding him down as he did so. Levi’s hands moved with him as he fell, moving to hold the demons thighs weakly, head falling against his knees.

Said male looked to Eren’s golden eyes, trying to focus on them as they darted between them. He breathed in shakily, his hands going the same thing against Eren’s thighs. "All better now?"  
“I… what happened?”  
“You finally caved. You let me in.” Levi gained a small frown, panic starting to creep in, it showing on his face, but it was soon chased away. “I told you it was only a matter of time, don’t panic, you’re fine. I won’t let anything happen to you.”   
“I feel… I..”  
“You feel  _ better _ ?” He didn’t argue, didn’t question it.  
“I feel.. like.. I need to lie down…”

He fell onto his side, laying sideways against Eren’s front heavily, the other's arms wrapping around him protectively. He’d been strong for far too long, had stood on his own against the world for far too long, longer than he could handle, and this was the final straw. He could barely keep his eyes open. “Come on,” Eren coaxed him into standing, his arms around him carefully, Levi’s doing the same around the taller framed body holding him up. Eren guided him to his bedroom, carefully slipping him on to the covers, Levi happily not getting under but his hands curling into the front of Eren’s shirt, pulling carefully, to make Eren lie next to him. He rolled on to his side curling into Eren, feeling the man’s arm under his neck and coming up around his shoulder, Levi’s head meeting the others chest, eyes sliding closed almost instantly, his breathing slow, steady, deep breaths. His brain didn’t want to stay functioning, his body following suit, becoming heavy. “Wow, you are… compliant.”

He barely registered the words. He needed comfort, needed reassurance. Levi was so angry at Erwin, it was part of his undoing. He was so distracted with the male he’d forgotten what he’d been arming himself against. And that's all it took, that second of his shields being down for the demon to worm his way in and not let go. He got the feeling that if he tried to fight, he wouldn’t win, not in this state. It didn’t help that his body didn’t feel like his own right now. It felt foreign, sluggish and tired. 

That and his mind felt fuzzy, warm, Eren’s presence felt far more welcoming that it should. His hold around him just added to it, just made him want to be closer, his body curling against him more at the thought, without even thinking. It felt like he should have been doing this days ago, felt like he should have given in to the feeling when Eren asked the simple question of letting him in, letting him take control and make everything so much easier.

"Yow know… no amount of demon proofing the apartment was ever going to keep me out. Although I can't blame you for trying." He’d had to try something, he’d been at his list wits. "Still… It’s not like I'm going to pass up a chance like this."

A hand guided his head to tilt upwards, grey eyes blinking at the other, eyes sliding closed as his lips were taken in a kiss. His hand fisted into the front of Eren’s shirt, pulling gently. He barely had it in him to fight, to try and be the dominant one in the kiss, letting Eren do as he pleased, letting his tongue roam in to his mouth, his own sliding against it as Eren pressed hard, tipping him on to his back, his arms sliding up and over the other's shoulders, looping around his neck. His arms felt heavy, his shoulders aching. 

Eren pulled back from him, his eyes opening, though rather delayed, the sleepy look on his face now mingled with confusion and a touch of annoyance, vaguely wondering why the other stopped. Their eyes connected and he saw Eren smirk, leaning back and pulling him with him, back against his side, pulling him close, Levi watching the wings pull around him, the colour like the night sky, it calming him considerably once that was all his vision was, the wing and Eren’s clothed chest.

The intense sense of calm spread across both of them, which was rather odd for the demon - given that it was only really negative emotions that were his reason to do anything. The calm was warm, deceptive, and if it weren't for his constant restlessness he could have gotten used to it very easily.

His wings were doing a good job of distracting him from the rest of the world too, from thoughts that eventually he would have to recede and let the dormant Nephilim take over again. Every time he did so there was no guarantee he'd be able to claw his way to the surface again, as his split from the other personality depended entirely on him being unhappy or in harm's way. Which was usually why he pressed his advantage as much as possible every time he was around. But not tonight. Breaking down Levi's defences against using his aura to persuade him was only the first step to complete ownership of the other. Right now Levi was just emotionally vulnerable. Once he got back into his normal headspace there was no guarantee that this would happen again. In fact, it would probably end up an out and out fight because Levi knew he couldn't just rely on being able to say no anymore.

"It wouldn't be fair to mess with you right now." he mused, still smirking. "But is there anything that you want from me? Just for tonight. If I can do it, I will. I know I said that you hurt my other half, but that doesn't mean I'm going to ignore all the years you kept him safe before then."

Levi blinked slowly, falling quiet, his breathing levelling out enough that it almost looked as if he were asleep. 

“Him.”   
“What?”  
“I just want him… I just want Eren back, that’s all I ever want.” His voice was quiet, his head moving slightly against his shoulder feeling the arm around him tighten, making him feel safe and protected. “And I know you don’t want that. If that happens, you have to leave.” He didn’t quite know how he felt about that, his brain telling him that he shouldn’t like the idea of this demonic version of Eren taking off on him, but another part of him wanted nothing more than it to be the Nephilim he cared for, to be lain under him, using his wings to protect them both from the world. “There’s nothing else I want.”

"Alright. A few days, that's all I can say for sure. But you can have him. Just him. What you do with that time is up to you." The words almost didn't register, sleep creeping up in his mind as his eyes slid closed for the last time, Erens breathing, his heart rate, the promise that he'd get to spend time with the Nephilim, hopefully, lulling him into a dreamland, where for once there were no nightmares. There was no fear of being woken up in the middle of the night, no uneasiness at the fact he was all alone and that it couldn't last. It was safe to say he felt like a good night was ahead of him. 

And that was true, sleeping without incident, without complaint right the way through till well past the first morning light. The only reason he woke when he did was purely because the body he was using as a pillow moved enough to jostle him out of slumber. "Mmmm?"  
"Levi?"   
"Yeah, go back to sleep." Images of last night flooded his head, of him being angry beyond reason, of him falling to his knees, head against Eren's legs. He closed his eyes a little tighter, Eren's voice cutting through him. 

"How'd I get in your apartment?" His eyes opened unwillingly, Levi moving just enough so that he was propped up on one elbow, chest against Erens side, head lifted so he could look at his face, looking for the one sure-fire way he knew the difference. Green eyes stared back at him worriedly, and he smiled a small, half-smile, mind working quickly. 

"You came by last night, it was late, I didn't want you wandering about or flying while you were so tired since you practically fell asleep the second you sat down. I offered, you said you'd stay. I..." He stopped for a moment, a worried look crossing his tired expression. "Do you want me to move?"  
"No. How I got here doesn't matter, I was coming anyway." Levi listened, waiting for if Eren was going to mention last night, wondering if Eren coming here anyway was the cause of the demon landing on his balcony. "I talked to Armin last night. I couldn't see any way around what I thought I'd done so I just.. tried to stay away. But Armin lied.. and I don't need to. I guess we probably can't go back to the way we did before, though.."

And there it was. Armin's lie. Wasn't he doing the same thing? He assumed he was, even though he feared telling the other what was happening. If dark Eren could suggest hurting his Nephilim over him attempting to leave, what the hell would the other do if he knew he’d told Eren. This wasn't going to end well for either of them. He had a feeling. 

It didn't help that he was forcing away the anger at himself because he'd caved to the demonic aura, though given how it had happened, he supposed he couldn't be blamed. At least the defences would be back up the second he was awake enough. He knew he had a few days with his Eren, something in the back of his mind told him that at least was true. "You didn't do anything, Eren, why couldn't we go back?" The thought of Eren still holding something back made him rather annoyed. "I miss the way things were. Don't you?" Clearly, this was a conversation they needed to have and it meant even as tired as he was, his mind started to rebuild the defences to stop his mind being invaded, to stop things getting in. "I didn't think I deserved it.. but perhaps I've been an idiot again, trying to keep my distance. There was never much chance of that lasting forever." His eyes opened as Erens words hit his ears, the arm across the other's stomach increasing its hold.

"Of course you deserve it. Don't say you don't to me." His voice was lazy, his eyes having closed, body heavy against Eren's side. It didn't take long for sleep to take him, his breathing finally levelling out. "Lets just.. go back to sleep for a while."

"That sounds good. I have been so tired and lethargic lately. Sleep is good." He knew why he'd been feeling this way, and he knew it wasn't going to get any better. He was just happy that Eren was staying, and was still in bed with him suggesting they sleep more. It was like nothing had ever happened. 

  
  


He woke before Eren the next morning, his eyes opening slowly, blinking to see the male still under him with his arms still around him, black wings still keeping them from the world. It made him smile, that it was clearly still his Eren, even though he couldn't see his eyes, he just knew. He didn't think the demonic part of the other would have woken second or stayed in this position all night and all morning. "Kid you gotta let me up otherwise we're gonna have a situation." His voice was still thick with sleep, his eyes looking to Eren's sleeping face, though thankful the other seemed to be hearing him. It took a few minutes, Eren's grip increasing before letting him go, his wings slowly relaxing so that Levi could move. He smiled, dropping a kiss to the Nephilim's jaw, before sliding from the bed carefully, quick to head to the bathroom. 

  
Ten minutes later after changing into a new set of clothes and doing everything short of showering, he was in the kitchen cooking them pasta, Levi craving it no end. It was a little over the top, clearly doing what he always did when he had a lot on his mind; cooked, cleaned and hunted through it. Though the hunting hadn't yet taken place and wouldn't if he didn't listen to Erwin. And he would, if Eren stayed longer, he wasn't going to let him leave all that willingly. He was fully intending the second he got close enough to grab him and pull him down by the collar around his neck and claim his lips for his own. He wanted nothing more than to kiss the Nephilim for more than the two minutes at New Year, wanting to see how Eren would react. He hoped in a good way, he missed those moments, he missed most moments. He'd never realised how much he'd missed waking up with Eren until this morning, and it brought a smile to his lips as he stirred the pasta in the pot, having just strained the water.

"Pasta for breakfast?" He smiled as he felt arms snake around his waist, the gesture familiar and comforting, "Eh.. it's not like weirder things haven't happened."   
"It's actually gone one already. Don't know about you but that's the best sleep I've had in weeks." He looked to the counter that they were stood in front of, pushing everything back so nothing would be knocked over. 

He turned around in Eren's arms, having placed the spoon down so he could have full use of his hands, then snaking up and over the Nephilim's bare chest through the nicely open shirt, rather liking the sight of the other in his shirt. "Nice choice in clothing." The other clearly still knew his buttons.   
"Didn't think you'd mind."  
"Not in the slightest." His fingers automatically began playing with Eren's hair the moment he'd turned. "I missed the sight for sure." He smirked, his right hand sliding down Eren's neck, fingers hooking through the steel ring of the collar, his eyes following the action, "this is a good sight too."  
"Yeah? How good?" Their eyes met and Levi tugged, bringing Eren to his level. Their lips locked together and their eyes closed, the hand in Eren's hair sliding to the others neck, to pull him closer. The feeling of arms around his waist increasing their grip, pulling them flush together was definitely a comforting one.

"Well well.. dinner  _ and  _ a show. You're spoiling me, sir.." Their lips were still close together, Levi's eyes half lidded as he looked down between them to Eren's lips. This feeling felt like the best feeling in the whole world. He didn't think anyone could beat his happiness leek right about now. He thoroughly was living in the moment, refusing to think about anything else right now. Nothing would get burnt food wise, the pasta was strained and waiting for other ingredients, the worst that could happen was that they knocked it to the floor. And he honestly didn't care if he had to start over.   
"You think this is a show?" His fingers pulled through Eren's hair slowly as he spoke, the fingers of his right hand still curled around the steel ring, holding the other in place, "come on Eren, you can do better than this." It was a small, teasingly simple taunt, his playful, lusty tone accompanied by a smirk that graced his lips, voice dropping to a whisper, breath ghosting the Nephilim's lips. "Show me who's boss, kid."   
  
The teasing tone behind the words would have been enough on its own, but that smirk was what really did him in. It always had been. He could refuse a lot, even from Levi. But not that smirk, not in this situation.

He said nothing in reply, a low chuckle leaving him as his imagination flittered vaguely over the idea of bending him over the kitchen counter. He'd already noticed that Levi had cleared the space. Probably with something like this in mind, of which was comforting as it meant that the other definitely wasn't just humouring him. He really did just want to pick up where they left off as if nothing had happened? Right now Eren had no intention of arguing. He wanted this just as much. Mostly it wasn't even lust overloading him right now. Just pure, unadulterated happiness and relief, because Levi wasn't throwing him out. He wasn't angry with him.

"Right here, sir? I would have thought the fact we eat here would put off your inner clean freak." That comment earned him a glare, but given that the smirk didn't drop in the slightest he knew he hadn't landed himself in trouble.   
"You're lucky I like that smart mouth."  
"I should think being smart isn't the only reason why you like my mouth, sir." The words, accompanied by the slow-rolling motion of his hips shifting against him, wedging him between him and the counter, made his eyes flutter close. The grip around his neck that followed did nothing to help clear the smirk off his face before Eren's lips pressed against his own. The hand still holding the ring of the collar shifting up and around Eren's shoulders, holding the back of his neck, his other hand still threaded through brown strands. His body shivered at the nip his lip received and it made him pull on Eren's necks automatically as a tongue invaded his mouth. 

His mind was reeling, but in the best possible way as Erens hips picked up a different rhythm against his own, Levi not being able to reciprocate given how pressed into the counter he was. His hands would have to do the talking, he supposed. 

Nails dragged across Erens scalp lightly as he pulled his hand through Eren's hair, his left hands' nails dragging over the top of his shoulders, dragging over the back of his neck as they worked from left to right under the collar of the shirt, his hands moving quickly to shove the piece of clothing off the Nephilim's torso. Thankfully, Eren lifted his hands away to let it fall to the floor, his hands quick to go back to where they were on his body. Levi’s ran down Eren’s sides, fingers trailing lightly as his teeth dragged across Erens tongue, his own starting to fight back full force.

  
It had been a long time, but Eren still knew exactly what made Levi tick. That much hadn't changed. Never would either, he thought. Eren pulled back almost instantly before Levi could really get himself orientated in terms of dominating the kiss, his hands trailing up Levi's sides before taking a firm hold of Levi's wrists and pulling them down, trapping them against the small of his back with one hand in a tight grip to keep him still, unable to fight back given that his hips were still being pressed against the counter by Eren's. The other hand trailed up his back in a light touch, meticulously avoiding his wings because that was a line he didn't want to try to cross yet, then ran through Levi's hair before he took a firm grip, tilting his head a little more to the side and further back to ensure he had all the access he needed to start leaving a trail of red marks down Levi's neck. The sight one that should really have been less of a turn on than it was given that the sudden action and the fact he could do little more than squirm against the tall, muscular body pinning him down had made Levi's gaze cloud over completely. The dissatisfied sound that hit the air as Levi realised he'd stopped again (although he hadn't stopped completely given that his hips were still moving, still a constant reminder that Levi wasn't getting quite enough of what he really wanted) sent a rush of heat through him, smirk widening. They were soon moving, in a rush of lust and heat towards his bedroom, crossing the apartment extremely quickly.

The second Levi’s back hit the bed, the smirk was back on his face, it having vanished for the brief minute as they made their way back to his bedroom. He sat upright, Eren soon back on him, working his shirt off quickly, it meeting the floor. What was bugging him was the fact that whenever he tried to take even a small bit of control back for himself, Eren stopped dead, even if he did say what he had, he wanted  _ something _ and Eren just wasn’t having it, wasn’t letting him have any back. He wanted this to happen quicker, this pace was agonizing. "How the hell did I miss those on the way in?!" As the words were breathed against his ear, Levi’s eyes almost rolled, though the words actually clicked a second after, Levi turning slightly, though stopping as his movement was rather restricted, knowing full well Eren had caught sight of his scrawl across the glass of the window. He really needed to get them off now he knew it wasn’t going to keep the demon out. He felt more breath against his ear, his eyes closing as he stiffened, hoping to hell Eren wasn’t going to stop this because of a few sigils now decorating his windows and doors. "Nevermind.. much more important things going on right now." Thank god for that.

His hands trailed towards Eren’s hips, moving past slowly to rest on the outsides of his thighs, the Nephilim’s mouth back on his now he’d finished speaking, rather thankful the other wasn’t dwelling on the fact he’d demon proofed his apartment. Hands cupped his face, tilted his head upwards so Eren had a better angle to deepen the kiss to the stage it was before. His hands rubbed slowly against Eren’s thighs, trying to coax him into going a little bit faster, angling them round to cup his ass after every stroke of his jeans. Thankfully, it wasn’t making the other stop, but making each grind a little bit longer. Eren’s lips trailed again, meeting his jaw, it made him sigh in clear frustration. “God damn it brat if you’re going to take over stop being so fucking gentle.” He internally smirked, rather happy to say anything to rile the younger Nephilim up a little, to try and make him go quicker.

"Gentle?" His eyes closed as he heard the words, and felt the smirk against his skin. His hands increased their grip slightly on Eren’s thighs. It didn’t help that he didn’t get the bite he was expecting. "There's a big difference between being gentle and making you wait until  _ I _ decide I'm ready to fuck you into next week, sir." Though it did earn him getting the rest of his clothes off, he didn't like the fact that Eren still had his pants on. The movements paused after Eren got closer again, fingers rubbing on the inside of his thighs, his thumbs in such a sensitive place, making his eyes roll slightly behind his eyelids. He felt the Nephilim shift back closer, mouth against his thigh, teeth connecting with it harshly, making him flinch and shift under the action, his hands shooting to his sides and gripping the bed covers between clenched fists. His eyes opened and he curled his toes, feeling the pain shoot to all the right places, his arousal already exposed so he wasn’t hiding any secrets. "Last time you made me pass out, after all, so I think I get to take as long as I like with you now." 

The sight alone drove him crazy, his eyes closing again and seeing the position Eren had beneath, it making him shiver that he’d pushed him enough that he’d made the other pass out. Each mark, each soft kiss afterwards, just added to the pleasure he was feeling, thankful Eren had at least taken his advice in a fashion. As the other moved to his other side, biting and teasing marks across his skin he started to let go of the overs, relaxing, getting used to the pain and the pleasure coursing through him. His eyes opened, looking up to the ceiling, eyes clouded with no end of emotions, lust being first and foremost. Eren was avoiding just the place he wanted the other to be, and if he said so much as what he was thinking right now, he wasn’t going to get anything. As much as he’d prefer Eren not do what he was clearly planning, even though it would feel out of this world, he’d much rather he just take him right here, foreplay be damned. Though with that thought, he seconds guessed himself, because if he said it, Eren would do it anyway, just to annoy him and rile him up further. 

He bent his knees, planting his feet on the covers, manoeuvring Eren with said knees, so the male fell against him, head near his own, claiming his lips in a kiss that didn’t last very long. Eren recovered, leaning over him, close to his face, but not letting him lean up to keep the kiss going. “Are you not listening?”  
“Oh I’m listening, I just couldn’t not take the chance.”  
“Keep them there. Let's see how long you can go without touching me." Well, that wasn’t going to last long at all. It had been far too long since he’d been able to touch Eren, he didn’t want to not be able to do such a thing. But the tone, the command that had been Eren’s voice, the challenge he was clearly given, it conflicted with his desire to fulfil the task for as long as he possibly could. It made his hands clench into fists, his eyes shut as well as teeth connected with his torso. He was going to be covered in the morning and man was he going to ache, but he honestly didn’t care right now.

Mouth connected with the skin just under his left ribs, teeth soon following a kiss, causing his body to jerk, his knuckles to go white around the covers he was clenching in his fists. He heard Eren laugh quietly, mouth teasing another mark just above his belly button, another rather sensitive area, along with the place on his right side where Eren travelled next. “You’re going to ruin a masterpiece, kid.” His voice was somewhat forced, breathy, having to swallow after he spoke.  
“Showing the world who the masterpiece belongs to.”   
“Oh god,” Eren pressed just under his left ribs, biting his right side just below his nipple, it made his whole body jerk, his arms to move a few inches downwards, hands still clenched around the fabric. The moan sent his mind reeling, having gone for so long without letting it pass his lips, only for it to happen now.

A few more in this fashion happened, Levi not being able to stand it, hands shooting to Eren as he bite his neck and squeezed his hip, grinding down into him with a quick thrust of his hits. His nails dragged down Eren’s back, slow and deep, no doubt angry red marks would be left in his nails' wake, the moan that escaped him making himself shiver, let alone the body above him. “Apparently I can’t keep my hands off you.” His voice was low, full of lust and relief that he’d finally been able to drag his hands down Eren’s back.

A loud moan was dragged from Eren's throat at almost the same time as he felt Levi move, dragging his nails down his back as he twitched and arched under the touch. That hadn't taken quite as long as he'd thought it would, but he supposed that it had been a long time since they had been this close, and Levi was probably a little less in control of himself than usual. Which was amusing.

"Only for now. Don't move, I'll be back."

His body relaxed as Eren’s touch left him, barely watching him as he focused on trying to calm his breathing, though to no avail. He looked around his room, seeing Eren nowhere in sight, propping himself up on his elbows. Levi was glad Eren was back, for who knew how long, but that thought alone made him frown slightly as he tried to regulate his breathing. Levi needed to fix this… needed to keep Eren around for as long as he could. They really shouldn’t be doing this. It wasn’t the best use of their time.

Eren soon reappeared, placing two glasses of water on his bedside table. "Miss me?" The cheeky tone made him smile, though not the smirk that normally worked its way on to his lips, but the half-smile that was only reserved for the Nephilim now leaning over him. He was about to respond, but lips met his own and he was lost, the kiss not like the ones they’d shared tonight. It was reminiscent of the ones before, ones before he lost his memory, like the one at New Year. It was slow, passionate, and even though Eren took complete control Levi was ok with it, his eyes had closed as his lips were kissed, Eren’s hands pushing him down onto the mattress.

The kiss slowed down considerably, Eren hovering over him. “So much…” Eren hummed, as if asking what he meant, kissing his jaw gently. “Missed you. You don't know how much…”   
“I think I can hazard a guess…” Levi smiled, fingers trailing carefully over Eren’s jawline.  
“Can we… slow this down? I don't want to rush…”   
“I know…” Eren kissed him again, careful and slow before pulling back with a small smile.  
“We still need to eat, you know…”  
“We probably should… yeah.” 

Eren got up, taking Levi's hands as he did so, pulling him up and towards the door after Levi pulled on his underwear. He followed after him as Eren dropped his hands, when they got to the kitchen. He watched Eren move to the counter, looking at where he’d got up to, the pasta really the only thing that had been finished, ready to add whatever to it to make it something other than dry food. As he passed Eren’s shirt, he scooped it up, pulling it over his shoulders, it being rather adorably big for him, pushing the sleeves up only for them to fall back over his knuckles. 

He slid on to one of the stools at the breakfast bar in his rather spacious kitchen. He did like this apartment, which was a bonus since he didn’t quite fancy going back to where he and Eren used to live together. He knew he and Armin hadn’t got up to anything, but they’d still done  _ something _ and he didn’t want to have to think about the mushroom having been there. He had all on with the feathered annoyance landing on his balcony. He leant forwards, Eren not having seen him in his shirt yet, grey eyes looking to the marks on the window. He knew he should clean them, but he really didn’t have it in them right now. After all they were still working, just not for the demon half of the green eyes beauty in front of him. They were safe, Eren was currently safe, they were doing a job, so he was happy to leave them for a little longer. He’d sort it when Eren left. Now that was a thought he didn’t want to dwell on.

"I should probably go home soon.. but I don't want to.. I would love nothing more than to go back to bed and just stay here. Life doesn't quite work out that way though."  
“I don’t want you to either.” He stabbed at the food on the plate before him, it now considerably later than when they originally woke, trying not to inhale the whole plate of chicken and pasta. “You’ll always be welcome here. I hope you know that.” He glanced up to Eren, seeing the other looking at him.  
“I do.”   
“Good.” He gave a half-smile, going back to his food, eating somewhat quickly, it tasted pretty decent thankfully. He glanced up at the window again, grey eyes looking to the sigil on the window, and then to his left, being able to see the balcony doors from here. It was going to take forever to clean them off. Why’d he have to use a marker pen? He was sure he had washable pens somewhere in this place. He supposed in his determined state, he wasn’t fussed what he grabbed, at least he didn’t draw on the door.

He slowly ate more, wondering if Eren was going to ask, since he didn’t quite know what to say to that, since he was sure Eren would catch on to the lie when he had to give him on, though he really hoped he didn’t have to. “Are you hunting tonight?”  
"No.. even if Armin wanted to, I don't know if I can. How am I supposed to hunt with someone I'm not sure I can trust anymore?" That was a fair point at least. He figured that was where they were right now, even despite their previous activity. It would take them a while to get back into hunting as a team. Even though they still knew each other, who knew if they would misread one and other enough to not trust something that used to be second nature between them. This whole miscommunication mess had thrown a lot of things into light. Maybe if it were just Eren, but if he brought his demonic half with him… Levi didn’t know if he could handle that mid hunt. "I'm sure Marco won't mind for a few days if he needs someone to back him up.." He smirked there, looking back to his pasta, hunting out some chicken.  
“That kid not back with Jean yet? Thought he’d have gone crying after hunting with me.” 

He slid the fork into his mouth and back out, chewing casually, going about finding more chicken. It had amused him, hunting with Jean, or at least it had afterwards, given the fact he understood Erwin’s reasoning behind pairing them together. Hell, Marco wasn’t a bad fit for Eren and Armin either, now he thought about it. It clearly did the same for Eren as the teen chucked.

"Yeah, I guess he is, but it sounded like Jean was more worried about you." That didn’t sound right. That definitely wasn’t the vibe that he got when he’d hunted and argued with Jean. "I mean, Marco's great to hunt with because he just goes with the flow and he's good at keeping everyone else calm in dangerous situations so I get why he and that idiot work so well. He's also a good judge of character, and he was worried that you were just going to end up arguing with each other because you would both constantly try to take charge."

He continued eating as Eren spoke. He knew what Marco was like, he’d had to endure Erwin going on and on about the 104th, it got unbelievably annoying after a while. That was until, of course, he was roped into babysitting Eren. Everything had changed after that.

"I'm not great at hunting with Armin either. He's too timid.. and when I zone in on something.. well.. No one else has really been able to get me to hold back.”  
“Clearly no one has the magic touch.” Levi placed the last forkful into his mouth, speaking matter of factly as he slid off the high stool and grabbed both their plates, heading over to rinse them, before placing them on the side, filling the sink with water and bubbles. “Didn’t exactly end well with Jean either, you probably heard through your 104 grapevine. Only person I’ve been able to hunt with was Hanji.” And he was waiting for that to go south, his paranoia getting the better of him. 

"I won't question your choice to leave me behind. You obviously had a reason, and maybe you'll tell me one day." Good. That was the only word that went through his head. He didn’t want that conversation, not now, it would just ruin the entire day. He washed the plates, after pushing up the sleeves on Eren’s shirt more securely so they didn’t get wet. They were soon placed on the drying rack, feeling arms snake around his waist, mentally daring Eren to even touch the bubbles in the sink, just to see where he’d end up. "But I know I'm not hurting you by being here anymore. It was a stupid thing to say, and I'm sorry. If you want me back permanently you only have to say the word. I know we never needed it in the past, but I was always scared that we might lose each other without me ever saying it, and I won't make that mistake again. Even if you can't say it back to me.. I don't care. I just want you to know." His words, the kiss to his neck, made him pause as he washed the pan he’d cooked the pasta in. Oh god, was this happening? His eyes closed, the grip increasing around his waist, Levi having no intention on turning around, not yet. "I love you." 

He’d stretched his neck a little subconsciously as Eren’s lips came in contact with his skin. He’d froze, bar the slight movement of his neck, and his eyes slowly blinking open. He was grateful that Eren had said what he had, about him not having to say it back. He just wasn’t there anymore. He used to be, he’d come extremely close quite a few times of the words spilling from his lips, but now, after the past months, he just couldn’t bring himself to say it. If he did, it wouldn’t be genuine, and he wanted it to be as genuine and heartfelt as Eren just sounded in his ear.

“Eren…” He turned, or tried to, Eren not letting him to begin with, Levi reaching for a small hand towel, drying his hands as Eren’s grip decreased, allowing him to spin within the circle of his arms. His hands slid up the others bare chest, one hand going up around his neck, the other to his jaw, “thank you… I… You don’t know, just how much that means to me. To hear you say that… after last time I…” His eyes darted between Eren’s. “I can’t… I’m sorry I can’t… not right now… It’s just…” He knew he didn’t have to explain himself, but he felt like he  _ needed _ to. “Thank you, for not pushing, for not questioning why I did it. Hell, you’re the only one that _ hasn’t _ . I thought you needed space, needed time to heal without my interference. I didn’t want you to heal badly and lose yourself. I want nothing more than to hunt with you again, for us to move back in and act like none of this ever happened, but... We can’t... I just can’t. There’s… It’s not you, I don’t want to get you hurt.. Because I will, and I would never forgive myself for it..”

"I can't exactly say Petra isn't a threat to me after last time so I can't guarantee I won't get hurt, but I'll go through all of that a hundred times over if I have to if it means being able to come back home and say this to you again. I love you, Levi. I love you.  _ I love you. _ " The grin and the words and the slight increase in tightness around his waist left the fact that Eren brought up Petra in regards to Levi not wanting him to get hurt, well, that made things easier. Why’d he not think about blaming the sigils on Petra? That must be what his brain had come to the conclusion of. The grin was infectious and a red crept across his cheekbones as a smile pulled onto his lips. He was blushing. He was  _ actually blushing. _ God damn it brat. "Although now that I think of Petra maybe it would have been a better idea to brave the tongue lashing I might have got all that time ago and ask you about her and what happened that I still don't know about. Hanji said it's your story to tell.. but I can wait till you're ready if you don't feel like sharing. I already know what I'm up against when facing her now, and that's enough.."

His fingers froze in the action of messing with the ends of Eren’s hair. He didn’t know if he was ready to regale the full story yet. He could barely talk about it with Erwin or Hanji without getting angry. “She…” His eyes darted between his favorite green, searching for something, but he wasn’t sure what. “She left.” Finally, the eye contact was broken, Levi’s eyes dropping to look to the collar around Eren’s neck. “She left because she was angry. Took my squad with her.” His grip increased slightly, his voice hardening. “She only didn’t get me because Erwin intervened.” When he didn’t say anything further, Eren pressed cautiously.

“Intervened?”  
“I was… It was a bad hunt… Long story short, there were casualties. We ended up in bad shape. Erwin… he was with me constantly… But she wasn’t as injured as she said. And when she came for me, Erwin sent her packing.” He sighed, trying to keep himself from getting angry, and this was only the tip of the iceberg that was the part of his past that was a sealed file and no one knew unless they absolutely needed to.

“Why’d she leave?” Eren's voice was soft, careful, clearly having sensed how angry he was likely to get, or starting to get.  
“Because she believes  _ a fucking lie. _ ” He took a deep breath, knowing he couldn’t do this, not right now. He didn’t want to taint the day by bringing up this story. “I’m sorry. I can’t. I’m just going to get angry, and I don’t want that directed at you.” He lifted his eye again, Eren’s waiting for him, lips soon meeting his own briefly. “If it ever ends up that we’ll see her again, I’ll tell you, I promise.”

“Let's just curl up in bed and forget about it for now.” He nodded, agreeing fully with the idea, turning back around as Eren moved away, pushing the sleeve back up that had fallen down as he moved, finishing up quickly and wiping down the sink and counter. He dried his hands and headed back to Eren, stopping as he turned and saw him, his wings fully outstretched. “Now there’s a sight,” his feet slowly took him forwards, seeing Eren look to him but not retracting his wings in the slightest. Levi’s fingers automatically went to his wrist, a small frown on his face slightly as he came to a stop before Eren, moving the coffee table out the way and kneeling down in front of him, Eren’s left-wing pulling in to wrap around his back though not touching him. He turned carefully, avoiding contact for now and sitting on to Eren’s crossed legs carefully, back against his chest. His hands went to the Nephilim’s thighs as he readjusted, unfolding his legs under him and bending them at the knee so Levi was sat between them on the floor.

There was something off about the wings, and he couldn’t quite place it. Eren brought the wing closer, Levi pressing into Eren’s chest a little out of reflex, his right-wing had started to follow the left, to cocoon him to the other's chest. “Wait…” The wings froze, Eren’s arms wrapping around him, stilling as they folded loosely around his stomach. He lifted his right wrist, twisting it slightly and showing the bracelet, giving the contrast from the feathers around his wrist to the feathers presented before him. “Your colour… It’s…” It certainly wasn’t the hue that was shiny glossy around his wrist, he seemed shocked, wrist still raised, fingers hanging loosely from his hand, though soon stretched to gently brush the feathers with the tips of his fingers, Eren shivering as he did so. They still felt soft, still felt like the feathers around his wrist, but it didn’t  _ look _ like Eren’s wings.

"What about it? Is something wrong? I haven't really looked at them for a while.."  
“They’re black…” He could understand that Eren hadn’t noticed, he wouldn’t have noticed his own if it weren’t for Hanji. “Look,” he twisted his wrist, throwing the blue into shimmering thanks to the light above them. “They used to be slightly blue. These are yours around my wrist from when I didn’t have my memories.” It didn’t escape him, the slight jostling that Eren was doing while he nursed his wing slightly with his right hand, it no longer around his stomach.

"Is that a bad thing?"  
“Well,” he dropped his arm, hand going to Eren’s forearm, his other to his wrist. “It could be, but it could be nothing. Your wings have always been dark, but never this. You’ve always had colour in them.” His eyes dropped to his wrist, fingers unwrapping from Eren’s wrist to idly touch the black/blue and white feathers wrapped around the wide wire bangle. “I’d speak to Hanji, she’ll know more. But you’re definitely not going today.” He scooted down slightly, head tilting back to rest on Eren’s left shoulder, eyes looking up to the younger Nephilim’s as he looked down. His right hand came up and the tips of his fingers brushed Eren’s jaw. 

"I was going to ask Hanji anyway but I haven't seen her for a while. It was bothering me that I'd never seen anyone else with wings as dark as mine before.. but I guess if they've gone completely black it's probably more urgent than I thought."  
“They’re bothering you anyway, aren’t they? You only have to ask, you know.”

Eren discarded the thought as he abandoned his wing and looped his arms across Levi's front, cuddling him a little closer as his wings curved a little more inward subconsciously, reflecting his momentary awkwardness at being caught out trying to ease the tension in his wing without Levi really noticing.

"You don't have to.." The words were small as he dropped his gaze, blushing. He didn't really have the right to blush at the idea of Levi touching his wings given that he'd just surprised him halfway through washing dishes with a love confession, of all things, but apparently his cuddle-addled brain had decided otherwise.

“Please, look who you’re talking to.” He pulled out of Eren’s grasp after placing a small kiss to the side of the other's mouth, waiting for the wings to be shifted back to allow him to move. He crawled over Eren’s legs, on both of his knees as he moved, slipping under the wing carefully, Eren lifting it a little to allow him under it and snake around him. He stood, stretching his arms forwards a little, looking over the wingspan as Eren stretched them out. It really was an impressive sight, even from behind the man. “Try not to tense.” He knew it was far easier said than done, since he’d tensed no end when Hanji had done it. He’d done this a few times, but it had been awhile. The first time he was doing it for Eren, though… He didn’t even know if Eren had had this done before.

A quick glance across the structure said they were a touch lower than they should be, thinking that was maybe the reason they were hurting the other. He’d need to fix that, but for now, he moved to the left, starting at the tip of the wing, his hands gripping firmly, only for Eren to twitch under his hold. “Promise it’ll feel better afterwards.” He smirked, hell it would feel better  _ during _ if anything. “Just tell me to stop, and I will.” He twisted and pulled, massaging as he went, straightening the joints and relieving the tension, feeling Eren stiffen under his ministration which made the smirk become far more prominent. He straightened feathers as and where he needed to, still not quite over the colour change but getting used to it, making a mental note to bring it up to Hanji himself. He got to Eren’s back, moving to his shoulders, avoiding the base of his wings for the time being, working the knots in the muscles well and truly out, not hearing any noises yet, but that was about to change as his fingers trailed down and over the base of his wings. He avoided the sensitive bundle of nerves with his hands, but he knew it was about to be hit regardless. 

“Am I alright to do this?” he saw Eren nod, his hands gripping his calves, the other sitting crossed legged again. He nodded to himself as he adjusted his hands for a better hold, ready to push up on the base of the left-wing. “Ready?”   
“Yeah…” Eren’s voice was quiet and he smirked, pushing inwards and up. Heel of his palm catching the nerves along with the movement tugging at them, the smirk increasing as Eren had to clamp both hands over his mouth to quiet the moan that almost hit the air.

He followed the motion with a slight massage to the part of his wing that led up from the base, and then stopped, letting Eren calm down a fraction, hands removing completely as he went on to his knees and carefully walked himself to the other end of Eren’s right wing. He straightened feathers first this time, letting Eren calm his breathing slightly before he went on to the bone, doing the same again only slower this time, this wing feeling a lot more tense then the other, thoroughly working out the knots as he went along, straightening the feathers he could see out of place since he missed one or two to begin with. He twisted and pulled the joints gently, making sure they were all ok before moving on and doing the same again, starting with the others shoulder. He wanted to tell the other to relax as he tensed up as his fingers moved down his back carefully, repeating the process of avoiding the bundle of nerves, but he knew it was easier said than done. “One more and that’s it, promise.” He nodded, “You ready?” Another nod, clearly not trusting his voice. He hesitated, knowing full well Eren would be expecting it straight after his words, making him wait a moment before doing the movement again, feeling the shudder, the moan that went through him completely, making himself shiver, hands quick to begin the massage of the muscle and bone at the base of his wing.

The moans didn’t stop there as his fingers moved between the two protruding bones out of Eren’s back, gently pressing and working the space in between the two wings, something Hanji had failed to do for him. He moved down, crossing his right foot under his left thigh, working down the others back, the moans coming out every now and then, causing Levi to smirk, “lay down, it’ll be easier.” Eren did so, Levi noting the shaky movements. He knew how much this would have affected him, hell he remembered the first time he’d had it done to him. He’d ended up mush on the floor.

As Eren’s chest hit the floor, he watched him move his arms and fold them under his head, eyes closed as he moved to sit on to Eren’s backside, hands automatically going to the bottom of Eren’s back again, working the muscles far better than him bending down and having to bend his arms awkwardly.

He laughed quietly, hands working expertly at the others back, eyes flicking up to his face, seeing the rather blissful look as he pressed hard into his back, Eren’s face turned to the side, feeling the other flinch and a breathy moan to escape his lips. 

"You alright there?"  
"Yeah.. I'm.. I'm good, sir.."   
“You sure? With the noises you're making I beg to differ.”

His hands worked their way slowly across to Eren’s left side, pressing just below his wing. The noises were going to all the right places, telling him his ministrations were hitting the right spots and pressure points he needed to sort the others' wings out accordingly. It brought a smirk to his face, hearing the noises in such a fashion, rather thankful that Eren was letting him do this. He knew his own wings were a touchy subject, and he didn’t let just anyone touch them, if anyone at all if he could get away with it, but he always did wonder why the other wasn’t too fussed about it.

Propping himself up on his arms once Levi was finished, Eren used his right-wing to nudge Levi sideways off of his back, managing to roll on his side and hook his leg over the older Nephilim's slim hips, his hands planted either side of Levi's head so that he had nowhere to go, trapped underneath Eren's body.

"I'm sure I could be persuaded to pay you back in kind if you're going to take advantage of me."  
“I don’t think you  _ need _ much persuading, kid.” He smirked from where he was underneath the other Nephilim. He didn’t doubt Eren could cause him to become the same kind of puddle he’d just caused the other to be, and since it would be Eren’s hands and not Hanji’s, his brain certainly wouldn’t tell him to be tense and hold back everything. It would just feel ten times better overall, if he were honest. “Try it, I could use a good going over.” He smirked a little broader as he spoke, hands sliding on to Eren’s thighs slowly, teasingly from his knee upwards as far as he could reach.    
"I'd be able to 'go over' you a lot easier if I could actually see your wings, though."

He thought for a moment, eyes looking to the ceiling, hands stilling on Eren’s thighs. “Shift, I need to move.” He lifted his weight enough for him to turn under him, laying down, hands under his head, head resting on the backs of his hands. He felt Eren sit back down onto his butt again. He blinked a few times, still not sure if he should show his wings or not. He knew he’d not shown his wings anywhere outside of a hunt, and for going to shout his lungs out to Erwin. 

He didn’t know if he could, though they were aching right now to show themselves, twitching with anticipation as Eren’s hands began to take off the shirt around his torso. Levi had to undo the buttons under him, lifting up a little to do so, Eren helping him get the shirt all the way off, throwing it to the side. He was pretty sure Eren would most likely be able to coax his wings out if he tried hard enough, and he knew damn well Eren wouldn’t hold back. He’d keep them out if it happened, but other than that, Eren only had his back to work with, closing his eyes as he waited for Eren’s hands to touch his skin, knowing he'd end up flinching at the right placement.

Eren wasted no time in going straight for the spot directly between Levi's shoulder blades because he knew that would most likely be the spot that required the most attention and was rewarded with a slight shiver going through Levi’s body. It would probably have been months since anyone had touched them. He didn't even really know how often Levi had been flying again after recovering awareness of his wings, so this could take a while.

"If it's too much for you, just let me know." He teased, leaning forwards to kiss Levi's neck before shuffling back out of reach again in order to focus on putting some force into his fingertips, hoping to get a reaction with a little bit less effort because he knew exactly what to do with his hands in terms of manipulating all the weak spots on Levi's back. He didn't strictly need to see the wings themselves to get himself a little revenge.

Levi let a low hum sound in his throat as if agreeing with Eren’s words, lips still together, his eyes closed. “I doubt I’ll tell you to stop, kid.” His voice was low, his shoulder twitching under the touch. Eren pressed harder, making his eyes twitch at the edges, it felt good enough for him to not tell him to ease off.

“Good to know, sir.” He smirked wider, his teeth showing, feeling Eren work his way down to just under his shoulder blade, though still central, knuckles digging into the flesh. “When was the last time you had this?”  
“My back? I can’t remember. Hanji did my wings though after I started using them again once I got my memories back.” Eren’s hands went to the bottom of his shoulder blades, pushing up, causing his hands to grip the rug underneath him and a moan to pass his lips. He could feel the twitching his wings were doing, he could feel them want to manifest and he guessed Eren knew this as he pushed again, a shiver running down his body, another, low moan passing his lips, his feet twitching.

“You alright, sir?”  
“Oh godddd.” He heard the laugh above him, fingers pushing into the flesh on either side of his ribcage, nails dragging slightly as he moved his hands back along the bottom of his shoulder blades.  
“Am I taking that as a yes?”  
“God yes. You keep this up I can’t…”  
“Can’t what…?” The tone was teasing, thumbs running a line up between his shoulder blades, fingers dragging after them, right over his shoulder.  
“You know… d-damn well wh-what.”

Eren's expression was becoming progressively more devious as the frequency of the moans coming from the Nephilim under his hands slowly increased, the sound not exactly helping him calm down any himself.

"Oh, do I?" he mused, the playful tone making it obvious that he knew  _ exactly _ what he was doing and had decided to be a little shit about it while he still had the opportunity.

His hands shifted, both trailing down Levi's back with his fingers slightly spread until he got to the point he knew would have been the base of Levi's wings, if he could actually see them. "Yeah, I guess I do." He felt Levi tense up as his fingers hovered over the spot for a split second before he pressed down,  _ hard _ , chuckling quietly to himself as he felt the inescapable chain reaction flood through the body under his hands, instinctually nudging back a little to avoid the inevitable

The hard press to where the base of his wings were set his body on fire. The shiver, his heart rate quickening, the spasm across his entire back. The moan that passed his lips was one of pleasurable  _ relief _ as his wings burst from his back in such a way he was shocked that Eren didn't get caught up in it and thrown from him, though highly thankful he hadn't been given the reaction had been somewhat violent. He couldn't contain it, his whole body shaking at the feeling as his wings arched to the ceiling, raised from his back momentarily, starting to fall to the floor only for Eren to stop his left wings progress, hands immediately on the bone protruding from his back, not giving him any hope in hell of recovering or calming down. His eyes opened as he felt Eren press closer to his body, kissing his skin lightly, fingers continuing their work relentlessly. And man did it feel  _ good _ . 

He felt deft fingers trail across his wing, through the feathers as they twitched under the touch, a blush covering Levi's face now. This was something he'd wanted to avoid, and for the life of him, he couldn't remember why.  _ At all.  _ It only got better than this by a small margin, and they'd covered that earlier. He felt Eren shift off him, hands sliding up the bone delicately. His wings weren't as wide a span as Eren's but they were large nonetheless, so it meant he had to move to reach the end. His left was currently still raised, but his right hand headed straight for the floor, not feeling like he needed to keep it raised around Eren. So it trailed along the floor, curled up slightly to save hitting any furniture, his right arm having moved so it was laid out under it comfortably. "You've got knots everywhere. Hanji couldn't have done a very good job... And that's worrying given her profession. Do they hurt?" Levi nodded a little, turning to a pot of jelly under the gentle but firm touches, but doing his best to reign in the reactions. 

"She... She held back. She didn't want to ir-irritate me." His eyes closed again, a feeling of relief washing through him as he worked at the tough bit of muscle near the tip. 

His body shifted a little as he felt hands straightening a few stray feathers. It felt nice to have this done by someone he truly cared about, and even though the blush was still covering his cheeks because of it as Eren worked, he really didn't want the younger Nephilim to stop. He was particular about his wings for this kind of reason and it was a little embarrassing for any Nephilim to have this done if you weren't close to the person carrying out the task, and even then it was still a fraction embarrassing. Hanji included. Eren seemed to be the exception.

It was a point of trust for him, letting Eren do this, and he hoped he still realised that because even after all this time his reasons behind this sort of thing hadn't changed. They probably never would. It meant a great deal to him and after all they'd been through over the past months, he hoped beyond belief Eren saw that. The profession of love, and current,  _ present tense _ love had made something pull tight within him, and it sent all reason and logic out the window in keeping his wings from Eren like he had been doing. He supposed that was one of the reasons he couldn't currently remember why he'd wanted to conceal them around the other, that he didn't think he loved him anymore. 

The thoughts made him hold back, doubt slowly seeping into his consciousness, the noises dying down considerably as he swallowed, blinking his eyes open and he felt Eren bypass his body completely and go straight to the tip of his right-wing. He was facing this way, so his eyes went to him, watching him, now quiet and hands gripped the bone of his wing, mimicking the movements he'd performed on the male, repeating the process. Green eyes looked to him, having to look up from the hands on his wing to meet the gaze. "Still doing alright?"  
"Yeah..." He nodded slightly to accompany the word, Eren smirking his own little smirk at the sight as Levi's eyes went back on to the hands performing the delicate work and working out the knots and joints to a more suitable position.   
"This ones as bad as your left. How often do you use them?"  
"On hunts."  
"Is that it?" He nodded against his hands, his eyes closing as Eren got to a particularly stressed cluster of muscle near the tip of his wing. "You don't use them outside of hunting?" He stayed quiet, not really wanting to head down this route of conversation, hoping Eren would drop it since he didn't know how the other would react to him driving everywhere if it was a viable option, and more often than not it was when he wasn't out of a job.

The marked lack of response made Eren a little on the worried side, but he continued his work on Levi's wing regardless, not wanting to stop halfway through because he was surprised enough as it was that he was even allowed to do this. He hadn't really thought that Levi would be okay with it given their current emotional mess of a situation.

Pausing for a second, he shuffled sideways and pressed another quick kiss to Levi's shoulder in an effort to help him get over whatever seemed to be troubling him. He couldn't blame him for not using them so much given that he'd had no awareness of them for months when living "human" and it had only been a short time since he got his memories back. Plus, Eren was no better.

"I didn't either," he admitted, voice small and a little more serious now. "It didn't feel right, flying without you. Flying when you no longer knew that you could.. and I wasn't exactly in any fit state to be hunting most of that time. It's pretty much the only time I fly too, now. I'm surprised my wings haven't been aching more, actually.."

Levi knew this wasn’t true, the demonic half of the other didn’t hesitate to use the wings he could see spanning from Eren’s back. It was really the only time he ever saw the wings anymore, now he thought about it. It made his heart pull, hearing the words he had, eyes drifting to the wings covering his vision of the apartment.

“Yeah, you’d think they’d be like mine. His eyes went back to his wing, trying to push the thoughts of doubt out of his mind. But he knew full well that Eren’s demonic side had opened a gate that hadn’t fully closed, letting such things like doubt in Eren, doubt in himself seep into his thoughts, when that was something that just didn’t happen to him. It felt wrong, an alien concept for his mind to consider, but regardless, he tried to push it aside, as Eren went back to his wing, trying to get himself lost in the actions and the touches, welcoming it as a distraction.

"Eh, maybe I'm just flying around in my sleep or something.."

The kid was doing more than just flying in his sleep, and it made him worry about telling him, wanting nothing more than to tell him what had been happening, but afraid he’d get hurt because of it. His eyes closed again as Eren continued on his wing, getting closer and closer to the point he’d have to move back on to his back. Which happened a few moments later, Eren perching on top of him, Levi moving both hands back underneath his head, wings now lying flat against the plush carpet and rug underneath them, a soft hum sounding in his throat again as hands worked across his shoulders.

"Whatever it is, I'm not too worried. Pretty sure Hanji will be able to help me out."  
“We’ll go see her.” 

He smiled softly, wondering if Hanji could sort Eren’s problem out. He was still determined to tell someone and have them believe him, Hanji hadn’t when he’d said before. He felt his shoulders start to relax under the touch, a moan passing his lips as he felt Eren’s fingers work out a small knot that had formed from him tensing up under the worrying thoughts plaguing his mind. 

As Eren stopped and shifted his hands to his waist, leaning forwards so he was flush against his back. Levi’s eyes blinked open, licking his lips slowly, feeling feathers brush against his own, causing a shiver to run through him as he felt the body pressed against his back do the exact same action. It was only a slight contact, but enough. He closed his eyes, moving his right hand back out from under his head and reaching up and over his shoulder. He touched Eren’s face slightly with the tips of his fingers as he sighed through his nose quietly. White wings twitched upwards to meet the action, then rested against the floor again, Eren’s following them down, so they were resting fully over his own, covering them almost from view, bar the few feathers that were longer or hanging lower. “I really don’t deserve you, do I?”

“Of course you do. Don't ever doubt that for a second. You spend so much time fighting for other people that you never stop to think about yourself. That's my job.”

“Thank you.” He really needed to push these thoughts out his head before it dragged him under, so he twisted a little, the movement causing his wings to drag against Eren’s underneath them, causing them both to groan slightly as he did so, guiding Eren’s mouth down to his own, the younger Nephilim having a lot more movement than he was pressed to the floor. The kiss was slow, sweet, their eyes closed with Eren’s hand finding his face gently. It lasted a few minutes before Levi pressed his fingers to his chin, pushing gently. “Move, otherwise what you’ve just done is going to be for nothing if I keep bending wrong.” Eren smiled, placing a peck to his lips again, before carefully moving his wings off of Levi’s, then moving his body off him completely. He pushed up on to his feet, a little wobbly, Eren’s hands quick to steady him by finding either side of his hips from behind him. His wings twitched as he turned, taking Eren’s hand and leading him to the bedroom, pushing him down playfully on to the bed and smirking at the look he got. “Calm down, I’m tired after that.”

Eren laughed as Levi moved over him, carefully laying down against his right side, tugging the covers under them, them both shifting enough to get them out, snuggling under them happily, Levi’s wings having already been hidden just before he got into the room. He’d got far too used to sleeping without them being out, he barely thought he could with them out anymore. Eren’s had gone as well, he noticed, since the covers weren’t hindered. But he could still feel them encasing the both of them in a protective circle, comforting him enough that as he closed his eyes he slipped into sleep so smoothly, that it was shocking how quickly his breathing evened out. 

  
  


He awoke groggily the next morning, grey eyes opening sluggishly as he blinked slowly, hands coming up to wipe away the sleep sticking to the edges of his eyes carefully. He collapsed in a heap of muscle and bones, eyes on where Eren  _ should _ be right now, seeing the black feather and then the piece of crisp white paper underneath it. Fingers reached out to pick it up carefully, sliding it, the feather falling into his arm, his other hand coming up to pick it up delicately so it didn’t get ruined. 

_ ‘I’ll be back soon, I promise.  _

_ I love you, Levi,  _

_ Look after yourself. _

_ Eren xo’ _

His eyes stared at the piece of paper, sighing as he realized Eren had already gone. How long had he stayed? Had he stayed the night? Left as soon as he’d fallen asleep? He glanced at the clock, his arms relaxing into the mattress, note and feather still in loose grips. 07:36. Wow, he’d slept all through the evening and the night. 

He supposed it was a good thing, really, that Eren had left whenever he had since he wouldn’t have let him leave otherwise. He’d have fought tooth and nail for the other to just stay with him until they both had to be somewhere and even then try and bribe him to see him after they were done with any arrangements they needed to attend. It hurt though, that Eren wouldn’t say goodbye to him in person, to risk Levi trying to attempt to keep him here. Eren probably knew he’d end up succeeding since he guessed the younger Nephilim wouldn’t want to leave either, if the conversations last night were anything to go by.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is Eren's point of view and it picks up right where Chapter 8 finishes.

As he felt Levi relax against him, he leant forwards and kissed his forehead, affectionately stroking his hand through Levi's hair for a while as he turned on his side, propping his head up on one hand to watch him sleep. He always looked peaceful when he slept, and Eren had meant what he said. Levi deserved happiness more than anyone, in his opinion.

"Goodnight, sir. Love you," he whispered, pulling back while trying to ignore the half of his mind that was screaming at him to remain exactly where he was, tucked up in bed. "I'll be back again as soon as I can, I promise."

Although Levi couldn't really hear him, actually saying the words felt like a definite affirmation of his intentions. He wasn't going to sit on the sidelines anymore. He was going to find out what it was that was bothering Levi so much and try to salvage the whole situation. He didn't mind the thought of moving in here when the time came as he didn't think Levi would want to move back into the apartment he was still staying in now. Not while every corner of the place would be an active reminder of the fact that Armin had tried to replace him in Eren's life completely and only just failed.

A quick note was left on the pillow in the space he had previously occupied accompanied by a single black feather, Eren studiously trying not to think about the fact that his wings had gotten even darker. He'd been worried enough before. The thought that he was definitely going to have to take time out to track down Hanji spurred him to move, heading out and onto the balcony via the doors in the living room so that he wasn't disturbing Levi as he stepped outside, taking a few moments to just look out at the skyline before he stretched his wings out and flexed them a few times and hopped the railing, flying back home faster than usual almost in an effort to leave behind the thoughts troubling him.

  
  
  


The next day brought himself to HQ, hunting down Hanji. Eren knew he needed to do this, just to put his own worries to bed let alone Levi’s. It took her a while to see him, meaning Eren was hanging around the cafeteria for an hour or so before she plonked herself down in front of him. “Hey puppy, how you doing??”   
“Fine. Sorry I haven’t seen you for a while.”    
“Don’t worry about it. What can I do you for?” She leant forwards on her hand, looking ERen over carefully.   
“Well, I was talking to Levi and...”    
“How’s he doing?”   
“Alright… I think. He’s acting a little weird…”   
“Tell me about it!” She sighed, leaning backwards and stretching. “Come on, let's go to my office.” 

They headed towards the higher floors, Levi thoroughly on his mind now Hanji had also said he’d been acting weird. Eren couldn’t understand why Levi wasn’t acting the way he was. The demon proofing was… well…  _ weird _ . 

“Sooo.” If you aren't here for our little oddball, what are you here for?” 

“Like I said… I was talking to Levi, and we noticed my wings were off…” Hanji narrowed her eyes slightly. “What?”    
“What were you talking about with your wings out?”    
“That's not important” Hanji smirked, sitting back in her chair. “They’ve always been dark, but Levi noticed the blue was gone and they’re only black now so it's weird and I‘ve always worried about them anyway…”   
“Eren, breathe!” He took a deep breath, clearly having been rambling, mumbling an apology. “Can I see?” Eren nodded, standing up and rolling his shoulders, wings coming out of his back and stretching. Thankfully, Hanji’s office was big enough for him to do such a thing. “Hmm.” She moved around her desk, looking at the colour. “ I think Levi is right.”   
“Is it bad?”   
“Well… I wouldn't say  _ bad,  _ bad. Wings reflect you, your personality, your moods.” She gestured for Eren to follow him out of her office on the medical floor. “It’s normally not noticeable, but unfortunately you have the one Nephilim in the entire expanded universe that notices tiny details.” Hanji smiled happily, having led Eren to an examination room, gesturing to the bed as she closed the door behind them. “They can change on a week to week basis depending on certain factors.”    
“Like?”    
“Stress, anxiety, mood, health. A lot of things can factor in. Given what you and Levi have been through the past year, I'm honestly not surprised.” Eren gained a slightly dejected look there as Hanji pulled on gloves. “No no, don't misunderstand me hunny bunch. It’s not a bad thing. It means you’re human… well... As much as a Nephilim  _ can  _ be human.” Eren nodded there, looking to her and wondering why she was putting gloves on.

“What's with the gloves?”   
“Gonna give you a full medical, if that's alright, just to make sure nothing underlying is wrong? That ok?” Eren nodded a little and Hanji set to work. He needed to put all their worries to rest, even though it would take several hours...

  
  
  


The evening found Jean and Marco relaxing on the sofa in their apartment as Armin occupied his usual spot at the kitchen table, tapping away on his laptop. Eren was only half-listening to whatever conversation was going on around him, his eyes on the evening sky on the other side of the glass to his side. He'd already discussed his worries about Levi with Armin, not being able to stay angry at him no matter how much he tried. He already knew Armin was trying to do what he thought was best and although he knew he didn't return the depth of the feelings the blond had for him he couldn't blame him for trying.

"Jean, did you notice anything off about Levi when you hunted with him?" the question disrupted the flow of conversation, but he didn't notice, leaning forward with a slight frown as a look of discomfort passed over Jean's face. "I just.. saw some things that made me wonder. He doesn't tell me when he's worrying and I still want to help him."

The other teen swallowed, exchanging a significant glance with Marco. Armin looked up from his laptop, knowing exactly why Eren was asking. He felt slightly guilty about accidentally letting the fact that Levi had demon-proofed his apartment to Erwin, but truth be told it was worrying him too. It seemed totally out of character for the Lance Corporal.

"A little, I guess?" Jean replied, running one hand through his hair. It was rare for Eren to be so serious around him. Usually, their talk was limited to banter and playful insults. "He was distracted.. and I mean  _ really  _ distracted. I knew he was going to be hard to work with because we're so similar, but... I never expected it to be that bad. And then that time we saw you.."   
  
There was a simultaneous inhale of breath from everyone in the room, almost, and Eren's frown deepened, knowing exactly the occasion to which Jean was referring. He was still a little sketchy on the details himself but he really didn't care to find out what happened. He just remembered killing a young girl when he should have at least tried to carry on exorcising her. He had been unsettled after the demon talked to him but somehow he got the feeling that it hadn't been the only factor behind his actions that day even if he was still missing half of that picture.   
  
"Don't take this the wrong way, but something seemed really off about you that day, Eren. Really off. Your eyes were... well let's just say I've never seen you like that before."   
"Jean, don't.." Marco's voice was quiet, concerned, as he noticed Eren blanch, receding backwards a little again in his chair.  
"I know you get in a zone when you hunt, but did you even stop to think before you slit that girl's throat?! I had to stop Levi going after you and that conversation wasn't pretty,  _ trust  _ me." Jean carried on regardless, looking just as displeased with what he was having to say as the rest of them were, but knowing  _ someone _ had to tell Eren the truth even if Marco and Armin were reluctant. He didn't believe in sugarcoating things if people needed the honesty, and right now, Eren did.

"No.. I wasn't thinking I guess.." Eren muttered. He was about to say something else when the watch around Jean's wrist beeped twice, the staccato sound cutting the conversation dead as Marco looked expectantly at his own for a few moments and then raised a confused eyebrow.  
"That's odd.. why haven't I heard anything too?"  
"Shit.. not again.." Jean groaned, covering his eyes with one hand and dragging himself reluctantly to his feet, one hand sliding under Marco's jaw so that he could pull the freckled teen into a quick kiss. "Erwin wants me... he's putting me with Lance Corporal Levi again."  
"Stay safe, Jean. I'll be here when you get back." Marco's voice wavered a little but remained strong as he caught Eren's eye, not really able to feel too bad given that he knew the brunette would be worried about Levi too.  
"Alright. I'll try not to do anything too rash, but no promises, Eren."

With that, Jean headed straight in the direction of the balcony, Eren sighing and avoiding the other's eyes as he mentally wished the departing Nephilim good luck.

Their next hunt wasn't going to be for a day or two, which left Eren with very little to do as he spent the next hour or so dividing his attention between the steady tapping of Armin's laptop, the TV program he was barely watching and Marco, who had remained exactly where he was but was slowly starting to look more and more worried.

"So hey, just out of interest, do you ever let Jean get all the kinks out of your wings?" Marco looked over at him so quickly he could have sworn he heard the other teen's neck crack, and Eren flashed him a cheeky grin. Hopefully, this would help him take his mind off the fact that Jean was in danger and he wasn't there right now to keep an eye on him. Plus it was kind of fun seeing how much he could make Marco and Armin blush. "I always wondered if it was just me who didn't really mind people invading my personal space like that.."

He wasn't disappointed, as he heard Armin choke on oxygen behind his laptop and Marco bit his lip and avoided his gaze, face starting to turn an interesting shade of crimson which made answering the question more or less redundant.

"Err.. not really?" he replied, obviously trying to downplay his own reaction as he shrugged after a few moments, turning his attention back to the TV. It made Eren laugh, at least, and it seemed to have sufficiently stopped Marco worrying.  
"Aah.. maybe I am just a complete oddball after all." he sighed again, shrugging. "Not really been much good at hunting lately so I have to find something to like about myself."  
"Stop right there, Eren." Armin put in. "Don't tell me you spent the day making sure Levi felt alright only to come back here and start doubting yourself. If you're a good enough person to at least try to forgive me then of course you have something to like about yourself. God knows the Lance Corporal would probably push me under a bus right now if he could."  
"You just thought you might be able to make me happy, Armin. I can't be angry at you for that.." he replied absently. Marco nodded, having heard the full story from the blond by now.  
"But you should."  
"But I'm not, so shut up, before I  _ tell _ Levi to push you under a bus, mushroom."  
"You're picking up his nicknames again.."

It was another few hours until Jean got back, seeming unharmed, which was always good. Eren was about to write the whole thing off as a one-off again when the returned Nephilim sent Marco back ahead of him, dragging him out onto the balcony and away from Armin.

"Eren, I need to talk to you tomorrow. Seriously. About you and about Levi."  
"Alright.. we're not hunting till the early hours, so you can always come back in the afternoon or something," he replied, trying to sound casual but internally worried. Jean very rarely looked this calm, or this serious, so whatever he had to say definitely merited the attention.  
"Okay. Don't go leaving the country on me. You might not like what I have to say, but someone needs to bash your heads together and I figure Commander Erwin has decided it's my job because you two idiots sure aren't listening to anyone else."  
"Alright, Jean. Go home to your boyfriend, already." he teased, trying to keep the situation light. "I'm sure he's dying to get you home and make sure you're not hurt anywhere too valuable."

Jean's only response was to flip him off before spreading his wings and taking off after Marco, disappearing from view entirely within seconds as barely a blip in the starry sky.

  
  
The disastrous hunt had finally pushed Jean's temper that one step too far, and he knew whatever he had to say would be completely lost on Levi right now. He couldn't do this anymore. He couldn't just push it aside and say nothing. As soon as he was cleared to leave, he put the hospital behind him, heading straight for the apartment Eren and Armin now shared and not even bothering with the front door, rapping on the glass entrance when he landed on the balcony.

"Get your ass out here, Jaeger."

Eren appeared a moment or two later, confused and only half changed out of his own hunting gear, the job he had that night with Armin having gone almost suspiciously smoothly, like the demons they had been fighting had half their attention somewhere else or were waiting for something.

"What is it, Jean? Kind of half dressed, here."  
"Shut the fuck up and close that door. Armin doesn't need to hear this." That had Eren's attention at light speed, and he nodded, figuring Jean had come back for his pre-announced talk about Levi as he reached behind him to slide the balcony door shut behind him and lock it.  
"Done. Now what?"

Jean turned away from him then, pacing the small space for a minute or two as he struggled with his anger in order to get his words out. Eren didn't know what had just happened. Eren hadn't essentially just seen them get tag teamed, seen Levi get injured like an absolute fucking rookie because of his distraction and, to a small extent, because of what Jean assumed was his pride. This had to stop, or Levi was going to get himself killed before they had a chance to get back together at all, and if he had to hold Eren at gunpoint to do it then by god, he would.

"I'm going to be honest with you, Eren, and I want to you listen to me." He managed to keep his tone level through some small miracle, turning to face the other teen at last. "I don't care what you have to do. I don't care if you have to fuck him till he can't get up, I don't care if you have to cut his goddamn tendons, I don't care if you have to threaten him with something he might kill you for, just  _ make him stop hunting _ ." he hissed. "The Levi who went out there tonight was a fucking mess, and I did not sign up for this demon-killing  _ bullshit _ to see one of the best soldiers, one of the best  _ leaders _ I've ever met be reduced to an uncoordinated, unfocused rookie. He might as well have got stage fright for all the good he was, for fuck's sake."

"What?!"  
"We fucked it up, Eren. He nearly got seriously hurt again because he's not right. Not yet. And he's insisting that nothing has changed, and he refuses to hunt with you. What the fuck is wrong with you?! I thought you.." Jean had a tight grip on Eren's shoulders, now, giving him a rough shake as he swallowed back words he wasn't quite sure how to say. "Don't you care anymore? Is that it? Why haven't you fought for him? Why haven't you been in Erwin's office trying to get him to pair you up again, not even once?!"  
"He has his reasons, Jean... I have to respect that.." Eren was unsure, though, and it showed, his gaze dropped and his voice uncharacteristically quiet. He received another harsh shake.  
"No. You know what, Eren?  _ No.  _ **_Fuck_ ** his reasons, and  **_fuck_ ** putting up with this self-sacrificing bullshit. You get your ass over there, and you make this right or I swear to god I'm going to break both your necks. I don't want to see you again until you're partnered with him where you both fucking belong, alright?! Jesus christ.."

As the words left his mouth, Jean roughly shoved Eren back, shaking his head and jumping up onto the balcony railing.

"I mean it, Eren. Sort this shit out, or he's not going to have much longer left. You can't run from this anymore and neither can he. Now go and tell Armin you're spending the night at Levi's and don't take no for an answer."  
"I'll try. Thanks, Jean... I think... well, I think I needed to hear that.."  
"Yeah, yeah.."   



	10. Chapter 10

“So.”  
“I’ve got a job to do, Erwin.”  
“Yeah, that’s the problem.” Levi sighed, leaning back in the squishy armchair he was currently sitting in front of Erwin’s desk, looking to Hanji as she leant against the wall near to the door, ankles and arms crossed in a stance reminiscent of his own way of leaning. Her eyes were pointedly on the floor near her boots.

“How is that a problem?”  
“For someone who can pick a fault 5 miles away from someone, you are extremely blinded on yourself.” Levi frowned, crossing his arms, staring Erwin down, though not receiving a glare, but a look of worry. “I’m worried, given what I’ve been hearing.”  
“I wouldn’t peg you for listening to idle gossip.”  
“I trust the source I heard it from. Hanji?” Said female looked up,  
“Yes, Commander?”  
“Can you please give us a minute? Head to the hospital, I’m sure they could use your assistance.”  
“Of course, sir.” She took her leave then, Levi’s eyes watching the door close behind her.

“Levi, I’m worried. You’re not acting like yourself.” Levi stayed looking to his left, at the door that had just been closed. “First, there are your wings. They aren’t their normal colour anymore.”   
“Wings can change. Ask Hanji.” Erwin levelled him with a stare then, shutting Levi up quite quickly.

“Second, you barely use your wings at all once you got your memories back. That’s not like you. You’re the only Nephilim I’ve known that took to flight and the air so naturally. Then, there’s the demon proofing of your apartment.” He looked back there, so his source was Armin.  _ Fantastic _ . He’ll end up killing that stupid mushroom one of these days.  
“Knew Armin wouldn’t be able to keep that to himself.” Not that he blamed Eren for it in the slightest, it was his own damn fault for being so paranoid and desperate to keep the demon part of the Nephilim away from him.   
  
“I’ve known you for a long,  _ long _ , time Levi, not once in any time that I’ve known you, have you used demon proofing. Ever. Anywhere, you even avoid it on hunts unless someone else draws it down themselves. What’s going on?”  
“Nothing, alright, I’m fine.” He stood, heading to the door, Erwin quicker, blocking his path in an instance.  
“No. You’re not fine. Let me help you. I can, Levi, just let me in.” He flinched visibly at the words, stepping back and away from the hands that had been raised. His eyes darted over him quickly, his Nephilim powers creeping out and feeling the air of the room instinctively, almost subconsciously, not realizing he'd done it until it was receding, leaving Erwin with a rather confused look. “Now I know there’s something wrong. For god sake, Levi just  _ let me help _ .”

“You can’t help.”  
“Can Eren?”  
“What has that brat got to do with any of this?”  
“Everything, Levi, and you can’t even  _ see _ that! Your neck alone tells me you’ve seen him and things have happened, you haven’t been right all day, even more so after Hanji pointed them out loudly to you. If he can’t help, you have to let  _ me _ help, or I’m stopping you hunting. And that’s final.”  
“You wouldn’t dream of it.” There was a pause, a slight impasse, as they both knew full well Levi’s words were true. He’d never stop the other hunting because if he did he’d do it anyway… and on his own.  
“You know what, you’re right, Corporal.” He lowered his arms, a small smile pulling on to his face, heading back around Levi and to his desk, curiosity getting the better of the shorter Nephilim.  
“What are you doing?” Levi watched him pressed the button on the black phone atop his desk, next to the computer. “Erwin…”

“Could you please call Mr Kirstein right away and inform him to come to my office, in uniform, ASAP?”  
_ “Of course, sir, right away!” _ Levi was now internally cursing the chipper woman’s voice on the other end of the sleek black phone.

“Really? You think that horse face is going to help in  _ any _ sense of the word?”  
“We’ll see how long you last, shall we?”  
“Again? Really? You’ve got to be kidding me…”  
“I’m not. You need this. You need to realize what’s happened in your life. You need to face that reality.”  
“I  _ have _ faced it. For the love of god, Erwin. This will end badly and you know it.”

“And it’ll be what you need to realize that you need  _ him _ in every aspect of your life. You can’t keep pushing him away like you are doing.” It was clear Erwin was ready to do ‘any and all means necessary’ to prove this to Levi, even if that meant they got hurt. Levi was sure he’d intervene like always if it would be anything dramatically life-threatening… at least… he thought he would.  
“I’m not pushing  _ anyone _ away.”  
“Like hell. You know damn well you're pushing him away. One, by not hunting with him; Two, by not living with him; And three, by not acknowledging the fact you want nothing more than to fix everything between the two of you. You can’t function without each other in your lives. As much as I don’t want to admit that, it’s true. As much as I wish I could take that away from the pair of you and make you better myself, so that you weren’t so reliant on his presence, I can’t. You need it, and you need to fucking realize it already.” Levi’s hands were clenched into fists at his sides, starting to take deep breaths through his nose to try and stop the anger bubbling up within him. “Everything that has happened is driving you to become someone you’re not, Levi, I don’t want you to lose yourself in this. Whether you like it or not, he holds a part of you, no matter how small, he does.  _ Realise that _ .” Erwin’s voice gradually rose during him speaking, to the point in which he was shouting half way through.

“And you think  _ Jean fucking Kirstein _ is going to solve this problem you think I have?” Levi was shouting now, he couldn’t hold back in the slightest.  
“He’ll be the start of it. You’ll get so annoyed with him, you’ll realize all the little faults with yourself, the fact that with Eren… it’s seamless.  _ Effortless. _ In every fucking aspect of your life.”  
  


* * *

  
Their first demon was down fairly quickly, Levi letting Jean take the kill. They sorted the body and were soon perching on a rooftop, awaiting further instructions, Jean giving Levi odd looks every now and then. “If you have something to say, say it.” Levi looked over the city, wings ruffling behind him in the breeze.

“What happened to the wings?”  
“Wow. Want to ask me about my last sexual encounter while you’re at it?” Levi gave him an annoyed, slight sideways glance, seeing the confused expression at the comment. “You couldn’t have asked anything more personal if you’d tried.” They fell silent there, Jean’s wrist beeping a moment later.

“We got another hit.”  
“Where to?”  
“Downtown New York,” Levi gestured, Jean knew where exactly, he should already be leading.  
“Go then?” 

Jean’s jaw tightened, not commenting on it, but heading in the direction they needed. Half an hour later, when they’d found the exact spot they needed, they touched down in an alley, Jean having to grab Levi around the middle to stop him stepping out into a crowded street where a nightclub was, pulling him against him into the shadows. He didn’t question it as several people walked passed, stopping to look into the alleyway, almost catching sight of both their wings and they would have if Jean’s darker ones hadn’t shielded Levi’s out of view into the corner behind several large industrial-sized bins.

“Easy, will you? You’ll get us caught.”  
“Get off me.” He struggled slightly, the hold having been tight, bringing him on tiptoes for several minutes until the people had passed. Jean let go carefully, Levi stumbling away from him as his wings vanished from view. He could hear the music from where they were, clearly round the back of the club, and it was setting his heart to a rhythm he just didn’t need in his life right now. Jean gestured for them to leave the alleyway, making their way across the square quickly, sticking to the shadows as much as possible, given their weapons were fully on show.

“There’s a group, apparently. Hanji said to be careful.”  
“She exaggerates. How many did she say?”  
“5. Doubt they’re all armed though.” Levi skipped in front of him lightly, looking around the corner, indeed seeing 5 at the other end of the alley. He couldn’t tell about any weapons.  
“Two each and whoever finishes first?”  
“Deal.” It was really the only way they had to deal with groups, otherwise, it was chaos and someone was going to end up injured when they didn’t need to be. “Ready?”  
“Born.” Levi’s hands were already on a gun and a knife, crossing over his stomach to unsheathe them in the right hands, Jean tapping his arm once, sending Levi into action.

It didn’t take them long to dispose of the group, only coming away with minor cuts and scrapes, Levi had been thoroughly in the zone and got 3 out of 5 kills. It set him up rather nicely for the next hunt, telling Jean then and there to ring in another. The only thing amiss with the attack was that he could have sworn he heard his name. Jean didn’t get a chance to call in their kills, their next hunt coming unexpectedly. Demons dropping from the roof with one landing on Jean, who flailed to get it off him. Levi fired a well-aimed shot, the demon dropping from Jean’s back, before getting grabbed himself, Jean ripping it off him, the neck being snapped in an instance. “I thought that aura was residual.”  
“Yeah…” Levi agreed, both of them looking up. He couldn’t sense anymore in the vicinity, up or around. “Can you…?”  
“Not anymore, no.”  
“Ring it in.”  
“Did you hear your name in that?” Levi nodded a little, grip on his weapons increasing slightly as he watched Jean tap his wrist.  
“We need to move. Stay behind me.”  
“Hell no, you stay behind  _ me _ , it’s your name they were saying.”  
“Jean, just do it already.” Said Nephilim was already moving to the end of the alley, and a spike in demonic aura flared just after both their wings were out, ready to take them into the air. “Kirstein, god damn it.” He shifted forwards, Jean already out of the end of the alley, looking around himself, motioning to Levi, who was quick to shove past him. “Why don’t you brats ever  _ listen? _ I’m your superior for fuck's sake.” He pushed off quickly, spinning as he did so, heading to the nearest rooftop and sitting on its edge so his feet dangled over the edge.   
  


“You have so little self-worth, do you know that?”  
“Jean, shut the fuck up already, no one cares.” Jean had landed behind him, and he could practically feel the anger radiating from the other.  
“Eren.” Levi froze.”  _ “Eren _ cares, Levi. Pretty damn sure he won't be happy to hear you aren’t looking after yourself.” He frowned, hands gripping around the concrete that he was sat on, tipping him forwards a fraction as his arms tensed. “I’m sick of this I was told not to take your shit Levi, and I'm not going to.” His wrist beeped, Levi hearing him go silent. It was bliss at that moment, to not hear him whining, it really was. “Captain Hanji says I’m taking point.”  
“Like hell Hanji has said that.  
“Well, she has. So suck it up.” He shivered, feeling a spike in Demonic aura, looking to the sky as to where it was coming from.  
  
“Jean…”  
“Yeah…” Their whole paired demeanour had changed in that instance, both having felt it, hands finding weapons. Levi slowly stood up on the edge of the roof, moving to take a step backwards “LEVI!” He turned, feeling arms around him, knocking him backwards and off the rooftop. His wings tried to beat to keep him upright, but his arms were tapped as well, his wings snagging out the hold. They fought on the way to the ground, Levi only just managing to throw the offending creature from him, it snarled as it hit the floor and rolled expertly, taking the brunt of the fall into his shoulders. His wings made him go upwards, several meters above the demons head, Levi frowning down at them as Jean was soon next to him, grabbing his wrist to pull him away as more Demons joined the lone one below them. Levi tugged his wrist out of his hand, spinning the blade in his hand and looking down. “No, there’s too many.”  
“It attacked me.”  
“And? No chance.” Jean pulled again, forcing Levi away. They landed not far away, the crowd of demonic essence, which was making Levi practically gag, (the action not going unnoticed by Jean in the slightest), started to approach quickly.  
“They’ll just keep following.” His voice sounded forced, nervous, and angry all at the same time. It was a strange combination coming out of his mouth, and it made Jean pause at the sound.

“Levi...”  
“Trust me. They won’t stop. Do you really want to take these things home to Marco?” Low blow, he knew, but it was the truth. He sure as hell wouldn’t want to lead any of them home if Eren were there.  
“There’s too many.” They took a few steps back quickly.  
“We’ve got to. They know me. If they know me, they know you by default because you’re with me.”  
“Follow my lead.”

The bad thing was, Levi didn’t. Neither could follow the other, and it showed.

It worked well for the first handful they each took down but on the last few, they started to stumble, both ending up going for the same targets, both stubborn and not changing course as one of them should have done, thinking the other would change and back down. It ended with Jean taking the demon down and Levi barely dodging it’s attack causing one of its twin knives to slice his thigh, the other up through his shirt, catching his chest and his jaw. It made him hiss in pain and he’d had to kick Jean out the way somewhat violently, to save him missing a rather fatal attack that Levi ultimately caught the brunt of, thanks to pushing Jean out the way.

He managed to block most of it, but the bullets from the demon behind him still ripped through his shoulder, causing him to scream at the top of his lungs as the demonic aura shot through him. The only thing his brain said was,  _ ‘at least it’s supernatural damage, keep going’. _

So he did. He finished off the demon, seeing Jean getting up from the friendly attack, hand clutching his head groggily, clearly having hit it at some point against the wall or floor. He took down another as he tried to make his way over to Jean, only to feel a blade slice through his jacket straight into his hip, crippling him making him drop to his knees heavily, falling on to his left arm. His hand curled into a fist as his knuckles pressed into the asphalt, catching his weight and stopped him falling face-first to the floor. The demon dropped in front of him, Jean taking care of the last couple, soon at Levi’s side.

“Oh god, Levi, you alright?” His right hand went to his hip, fingers curling around the handle of the blade. “No no no, don’t remove it.”  
“I’ve got to. It’s on fucking  _ fire _ .” He pulled, the metal of the blade glowing slightly as it shimmered with his blood, it dripping from the end.  
“Fucking idiot. You are such a  _ fucking idiot _ .” His vision blurred. What the hell had been on that knife?  
  
He blinked furiously as he tried to stand, putting his weight on to his right hip accidentally, Jean having to catch him, to support his weight. “Fuck. Shit. We need to get you back.” Levi leant heavily against Jean, hand against his chest, gripping the leather going across it, pulling to keep himself upright. “Can you fly?”

“Yeah yeah… I can.” His wings beat behind him, lifting him into the air, his right hand automatically going to his hip to stop the blood quickly leaving his body. He saw Jean tapping furiously against his wrist, Hanji’s voice soon hitting the air and them having a heated discussion, Jean practically ordering her and her team to the roof of the hospital. Levi headed in that direction, otherwise, he knew he’d get pulled. His wings stuttered a little, Jean taking to flying low under him, in case he should fall. He didn’t though, making it all the way to the hospital, and the second he touched down he lost his balance, falling and rolling, wings vanishing in the middle of a roll. Hanji on him quicker than his vision could keep up, hearing Jean collapse next to him. He’d registered the blood vaguely on the others face while they were flying, a thick line from his temple to his jaw. Clearly he’d got caught out too and whatever was fed to them through the metal, caused their consciousness to leave them momentarily.

* * *

  
  
“Idiot isn’t even the  _ word _ .” He sat upright slowly, hand going to his head as he groaned quietly. He held the side of it, a headache pulsing through his brain. Grey eyes lifted to Hanji, who looked furious. “I don’t even know what to call you. Everything sounds too tame.” He was kind of wishing he was still unconscious.  
“How about Lance Corporal?”  
“Oh god!” She stood, striding towards him with a cloth in her hand. “Don’t even  _ try _ being smart with me right now.” She angled his head up, not even trying to be careful. It made him wince slightly, Hanji clearly ignoring it. “I said to follow  _ his _ lead, Levi. You could have got the both of you killed!!” She wiped, oddly careful at the cut on his jaw, though letting go of him wasn’t gentle in the slightest, his head jerking to the side. “Get the  _ damn _ shirt off.” He noticed the harness had already been undone as he lay unconscious and it couldn’t have been long. He could see Jean through the glass in the next room, seeing Hanji walk through the door joining the rooms, speak to Jean, both looking at him, clearly telling Jean to go because he shot out the room like a bat out of hell.

“Does that mean I can go?”  
“Oh  _ hell _ no. You’re staying here.” Her words were clipped, anger radiating from her as he slipped the harness off himself, to around his waist, it snagging on the puncture at his hip, which had been covered already thankfully, though clearly temporarily. “Your head needs examining. I might just cut your head off and do it that way. Because it seems to be the only thing that will stop you.” He didn’t answer, undoing the buttons carefully on his cut shirt, slipping it off his body, Hanji on him and pressing the cloth to the still bleeding wound as the fabric fell to the bed around his waist, joining the straps of the harness. Her eyes wandered over his torso, seeing all the marks and bruising covering his chest, knowing they weren’t the work of anything tonight. If anything it made her even angrier. There was only one place they could have come from, and that was Eren.

“Hanji.”  
“No. You don’t have lines in this play. Shut up before I make you.” He looked at her, the anger on her face making him swallow as the bespectacled woman kept her eyes trained on the wound. “Honestly. Do you even understand how badly today could have gone? How much we could have lost?”  
“I’m no one Han-“

“What the hell did I  _ just _ say about you having  _ zero lines in this scene?? _ ” That shut him up as Hanji moved away to retrieve no end of medical assortments and equipment, whizzing back to him on a sliding stool. She coated another cloth with a green liquid, it staining the white, it soon pressed to his chest, making him hiss and flinch in pain. “So much. We could have lost  _ you _ . We could have lost  _ Jean _ . And do you know what that means? Eren, we could have lost Eren to. He wouldn’t be here without you. You know what he’s gone through,  _ is still going through _ and you pull something like this?!” She pulled the green stained cloth along the wound, Levi going dizzy with the feeling flooding his body, hands gripping the sheets under him tightly. “He’d be a heartbeat behind the news that you’d died and he’d be straight back down in the resurrection cycle right along with you. For the love of god what were you thinking?!” He didn’t think he should answer, having been told he had no lines in this play, guessing it was rhetorical, and he was right. Hanji threw down the cloth to a tray and picked up a kit of what he knew would stitch him back together. She ripped open the plastic surrounding the case, scrawling as she did so. “I can’t believe you. How could you even give me that job? How could you put me in that position? Because it’d be me, Levi, it’d be  _ me _ that would have to tell him. Erwin would be too angry and distraught to get even the slightest coherent sentence out. It’d be me delivering that bad news and seeing the poor babe break in two.” He winced again, as she tugged the needle through his skin unrelentingly.

She fell silent there, Levi watching her work, not being all that gentle, but fast with what she was doing, clearly wanting him out of her sight. She swiped an antiseptic over the stitched, and despite the speed and the less than gentle nature, they were perfect stitches, just enough to keep the skin together until his angelic healing kicked in after the aura within subsided. He could feel more than one within him, conflicting with his own Nephilim one. It was making him nauseas, but he daren’t bring it up. He knew he was in the wrong, but he’d warned them, he’d said. “What even happened to you tonight?! We got a play by play from Jean after he woke up but I can’t understand what’s wrong with you? Do you not  _ realize _ you should be with Eren?? He’s the only one that can put up with you aside from Erwin and myself and you can’t hunt with us!! It’s just not viable! He’s your  _ fucking _ better half and you can’t even see it, Levi!” She’d done well not to swear until this point, and not to raise her voice to a shout, it was raised sure, but only just louder than a speaking level which effectively was getting her point across. “You need to beg that poor boy to take you back with open arms. I don’t care what you need to do to make that happen. You need to get down on your knees. Promise him the universe if you have to and you better fucking promise to deliver him every last  _ star _ . Get your act together, stop hunting till you have the decency to not act like some new recruit you don’t have time for.” She made him stand there, pulling his arms and then pushing him to lean against the bed, soon shedding him of the rest of his harness with quick movements, it falling to the floor, tugging his waistline down to see the cut.

“Damn it woman, that hurts.”  
“You deserve this pain. Now suck it up and deal with it like the man you’re supposed to fucking be.” She grabbed the cloth again, pressing it harshly to the wound, pressing down hard, Levi shivering as it seeped in and mingled with his blood.  
“What even  _ is _ that?”  
“You’re swimming in demonic essence. I’m getting rid of the majority of it so it doesn’t start eating away at your brain.” Too late, that was already happening. “What’s even going on with you lately? I can rationalize everything until you demon proofed your apartment. Tell me,” her voice softened considerably, it scared him slightly, “what’s the logic?” His eyes looked away from her, to the hand covering the wound on his hip, the mixture still seeping into his bloodstream.

“I… I panicked…”  
“What for? You never panic that badly. You never panic period.”  
“I just did alright. I thought... I thought there was a demon after me… Eren he…”  
“Oh hell. Don’t you even  _ try  _ to blame any of this on him. Your paranoia has nothing to do with him. Don’t start that again. He’s not remotely demonic, Levi. Don’t project on to him.”  
“Hanji, he’s not right. Honestly. There’s something wrong. You need to help him,”

“You’re insane. There’s nothing wrong with Eren other than how pissed he’s going to be at you when he finds out about this. And no doubt it’ll be soon. Jean is as furious as I am with you. You nearly got him killed. Imagine going and telling poor  _ Marco _ he’d been killed because you were being reckless and immature and not following an order?” He opened his mouth, Hanji’s glare silencing him instantly before the words even left his mouth, “don’t even  _ dare _ go on about this superior crap. When you’re hunting with someone you’re a team Levi,  _ a team _ .” She fell silent again, focusing on stitching up his hip, doing the same as his chest, but covering it over with sticky gauze to protect it from the waist of his trousers as she tugged it back in place. “Now get dressed.” He did as he was told, quickly slipping the shirt on, but left it unbuttoned. “And you go back, you wait for him. You don’t leave that apartment till you’ve seen him. You get on your knees and you apologize and plead with him till your throat’s raw. And then you keep going. You promise him anything he wants, you fucking grovel. And don’t even think about coming in here tomorrow, and then after that? Don’t bother unless Eren is by your side or so help me, Levi, I’ll take the pleasure away from the demons and kill you myself.”

He watched her leave, the door slamming making the glass wall shudder thanks to the force she’d used. He bent his knees after stepping forwards, scooping his harness, happy to see his hip and leg could support his weight. He walked slowly out the door, heading upwards to the room, a depression setting into him quite thoroughly as he ran a hand down half his face. If he told anyone about Eren’s demonic side, the logic behind demon proofing his apartment, he just wasn’t believed. His wings lifted him into the air, heading straight home because you could guarantee Hanji would be making sure he got there one way or another. His booted feet touched down on the balcony and he headed inside, shutting the door behind him and throwing the harness to the sofa, heading past it to the kitchen.

  
Levi had barely been in a few minutes before the door was opening on his balcony again and Eren walked through it, though worry coloured Levi’s face over the sadness as it looked like the other was in pain, and it wasn’t till the hand was dropped and the voice hit his ears that he realized that wasn’t his Eren. "What the hell went on tonight?!" The distortions made him flinch, moving back into the counter that joined the living room to the kitchen, eyes trained on the wings. "If I find out this was that fucking bitch again I'm going to use her for target practice.." He swallowed, nervousness and fear starting to ebb their way into his body.  
“It… it wasn’t Petra…” The demon before him strode forwards, fingers catching his jaw and tilting it with a somewhat disgusted expression. He examined the cut, golden eyes looking down to his chest, then to his hip, finger roughly making Levi’s head snap to the side.

“You’ve not answered me.”  
“We got into some trouble… we were double teamed. They played us.” He pressed himself back against the counter, not liking the aura so close, it looked almost palpable around the feathers. He couldn’t take his eyes off it, the fear starting to touch his face now he could feel the aura reaching out to him, dreading the onslaught he knew was coming. In a feeble attempt, he started to throw up any defence he knew he still had, to try and delay him getting into his mind. He knew it was probably a futile effort, but he had to try. He wanted to gag but was stopping himself, the aura crowding him, but not actually doing anything yet. He wasn’t going to stand and let this happen a second time. Not after the night he’d had.

"Don't even try it." A moment later he’d have stumbled if he wasn’t already holding the counter for support, feeling the aura invade his mind at full force, flinching considerably as it happened. It made his headache feel like his head was being split in two. It spread quickly through his whole body, making his fingers and toes tingle unpleasantly as he practically choked on the air trying to go to his lungs. The wound he’s gained on the hunt began to seal, the stitching dissolving at rapid speed, it rather painful as his healing surged on, healing it quicker than necessary given the aura and power now coursing through his veins. As soon as the grip was gone, his knees buckled under his own weight, dropping to the floor without a care in the world. Not caring that he’d dropped to his knees twice in front of the other, he just wanted it to stop, to leave his body, to stop feeling this way.

"I was going to try and give you more time, but this, I won't let you kill us both. He barely survived the last time and you were fine except for a bit of amnesia. Do you have any idea how much you've put him through, you son of a bitch?!"

The words made him flinch into the counter behind him, his back pressed against it and his eyes darting over the floor, trying to search his brain for a way out, for a way to stop this day from ever happening, to stop it dead in its tracks. Why was everyone doing this? Why would no one believe him? Why would no one  _ help _ him the way he needed?! As the demon before him crouched, he followed the movement, fearfully on his face now, along with the sadness swimming within his eyes. Hands were placed on his shoulders, Levi tensing at the gesture. "In fact, you know what, fuck it. I'll  _ show _ you, now that I can. If this is what it takes to make you stop and think, then so be it."

A hand threaded through his hair holding his head firmly, his body being pulled against the others tightly by an arm around his waist. He didn’t want to see what he knew was coming, what the demon had hinted at all those weeks ago, and his body was already in the early stages of beginning to shake.

The scene flashed before his eyes, his body stiffening as his eyes scrunched closed. It made it a hundred times worse that he could see it through Eren’s eyes, could feel everything the other had been feeling, it mixing with his own emotions, his own pain. But his pain was nowhere near this level and he doubted it ever would be. As the water rushed past his eyes, darkness over taking him, his hands flew out and gripped Eren’s arm around his waist, the hand against his other side gripping into the front of his shirt.

The mental assault didn’t let up, didn’t stop there, it powered on full throttle, showing him Eren crying, over and over again in various states, trying to drink himself into oblivion. The feeling that Eren had thought he was happy without his memories, without  _ him _ crushed his heart a thousand times over, feeling tears finally bubble under his scrunched eyelids, the fact he didn’t remember him clearly, didn’t remember him enough to be viable had crippled the other considerably. He’d heard from others how it had been, but experiencing it first hand, which is what he was essentially being forced to do, was a whole different feeling entirely.

He felt his body start to shake, his hands trembling under the crushing grip of Eren’s arm. The tears spilt from his eyes as he managed to get them open, only for them to shut instantly, a choked sob being brought from his throat as his mind ran wild as he felt it breaking under the strain of what he was being forced to experience. It was an odd feeling, on top of everything else he was currently feeling, his own sadness, his own pain, along with all of Eren’s from the past few months. 

He wished he could change places, wished he could have taken it all back as the crushing loneliness hit his chest, made him become almost dead weight within the demons hold, his mind thoroughly taxed as it was bombarded again with how Eren was feeling inside every time he saw him, the outward show clearly that, a complete show, a total façade that he’d not even questioned. He’d thought we was happy, thought he was just any normal teen that was enjoying life. Levi couldn’t help but want to grab him and never let go, which is what he was essentially doing right now with the demon holding him, showing him everything. Every little thing he’d done, knowing and unknowingly in the past months to cause Eren any form of pain, no matter how small. It was his fault. It was all his fault and he just wanted it to stop. He wanted it to end, he wanted it to just  _ go away _ .

The fact he could feel that Eren didn’t even think he was worth anything, not wanting to bother him with his problems, his issues, it made the tears fall harder and faster. They’d been together for so many years now, that was their jobs, to take care of each other, to make sure they were both alright, that they  _ survived _ . He’d failed him, and that alone crushed his senses to the point of overload. He could never forgive himself for that. Ever.

"Now do you see?" The demon asked, the tone Levi heard was that of tiredness, exhaustion, clearly due to what had just occurred. He blinked his wet eyes open, feeling the grip around him continue, keeping him from becoming a heap on the floor. Tears were still leaking down his face as his brain recalled what he’d just seen, his vision now his own again, eyes on the floor as his head wanted to fall sideways, Eren letting it do so after a moment, it hit his collarbone, his forehead pressing against his neck. He was a wreck, Eren jumping to his death flashing before his eyes again and he curled in on himself, against the demon's front. 

“I… I’m…” he couldn’t speak, he couldn’t form the apology he wanted to say. He knew it would fall on to the wrong ears, but he needed to say it, but there was something stopping him, something holding him back from saying it. 

  
Then it clicked.

  
How could he be sorry when it had all been his fault?

It was his fault Eren tried to take his own life that day on the bridge, and again in the hospital.

It was his fault that he’d been driven to be dependent on alcohol to chase away the persistent nightmares that occurred thanks to him not remembering.

It was his fault that all this had happened. How could he apologies for such sacrilegious acts as driving Eren to all the things he’d been shown, that his body had just experienced through Eren’s eyes.

It was his fault he’d driven Armin to do what he did, further putting Eren in more pain, as he thought he’d done things he hadn’t.

It was all his fault.

How could Eren even  _ say _ that he loved him?

Not when he felt the way he did, he felt no love there, only pain and sorrow. 

He didn’t deserve it, he didn’t deserve any of it. He deserved everything that was being thrown at him right now. He’d deserved this entire day, of Erwin, Jean, Hanji and now this demonic version of the man he so cared for, lashing out at him in turn. “I… I see… I, I see now.” His brain told him to respond, to say  _ something _ to try and not bring any more wrath down on him, the aura still flowing feeling through his body, his mind. He tried to swallow, the fact that he should be nauseous due to the demonic essence within him and encircling him, not bothering him anymore. He was feeling this way for an entirely different reason now. He stood by the words he’d said to Eren two days ago.

“I d-don’t de-deserve him, do I? I… I have never deserved h-him. I never will…” His voice was soft, breaking in odd places, his heart thrown to the floor and stamped on, the doubt behind Eren’s confession of love hitting him again full force, the demonic aura passing through his body not doing anything to help ease that in the slightest, letting the thoughts run wild. He could feel his mind straining under the pressure, the edges of his vision starting to fog, making him close his eyes and he shook within the grasp of the demon holding him close to the body of someone he wouldn’t be able to look in the face for an undetermined length of time. He felt Eren shift, his body moving so that Levi was sitting between his legs, the leg behind him bent to support his back. Levi’s legs curled up over Eren’s other leg, bent along the floor. He sat sideways on, right side against the taller males chest, head still against his collar, forehead against his neck. Arms were around him, his body becoming heavy as it and his mind began to wear itself out, Levi still shaking profusely from the taxing day and the traumatic last 5 minutes. 

His other hand moved to hold his own stomach, his right still holding a steel grip around the front of Eren’s shirt, curled into a fist. He could feel the leather around the other's neck, and he wanted nothing more in that moment than to rip it off and throw it out off the balcony. Eren wasn't his, he didn’t deserve that kind of commitment, that kind of blind ownership the other was letting him have. He didn’t deserve to have that pleasure, he didn’t deserve the chance to have Eren be there every night when he came home, to hunt with him every other night like this used to. 

To be his one constant in a universe so screwed up it had next to no chance at being fixed.

And in that moment, he knew. He knew completely what it was like to truly feel  _ broken. _

Eren’s anger had more or less completely dissipated as he watched Levi break down in his arms, inwardly pleased that his movement to draw Levi closer to him had met absolutely no resistance. He could tell what the Nephilim was going through without even having to be inside his head, every thought was clear on his face as it came and went. All of this was working exactly as he'd planned.

But he could go one further, yet.

He'd brought Levi to his lowest point, but right now he had the power to lift him back up, too, and that was exactly what he was going to do. The male in his arms barely flinched as he started to feed him another moment from Eren's point of view, a moment that was very recent and very fresh in Levi's thoughts - one of them stood at the sink, Eren's arms wrapped around Levi's waist, his heart full of nothing but affection. No blame, just forgiveness and complete, selfless love. Love that could never be doubted in its intensity. Love that was pure, that would never go away. Love that hadn't wavered once, that had been the very reason Eren had suffered so much when he had almost lost Levi.

_ "I can't exactly say Petra isn't a threat to me after last time so I can't guarantee I won't get hurt, but I'll go through all of that a hundred times over if I have to if it means being able to come back home and say this to you again. I love you, Levi. I love you. I love you." _

The words were played back to both of them, the emotion behind them 100% real and unquestionable, and as the vision of the pair of them standing by the kitchen sink days ago fell away again, Eren cuddled the tired, traumatised Nephilim closer to his body, trying to use his aura to calm the shaking and the tears now. He didn't want him to hurt anymore. He just wanted to make his point, and now he had. He didn't think Levi would try to go off hunting on his own or without his Nephilim half now - which was for the better, because it meant he could be there too keeping an eye on everything from the sidelines.

Levi blinked his eyes open, the one vision cancelling out the pain, or rather making the pain  _ worth _ something, have a meaning beyond the crushing feeling of wanting everything to end. Undeniably selfless to the point of Eren just wanting nothing more than for him to be safe, for him to not hurt anymore. He tried to breathe normally, as he was pulled closer into the hug, the arm across his own stomach reaching out slightly, fingers pressing gently against the other's stomach through his shirt.

"That counts for both of us, you know." he said quietly, "don't ever doubt that you deserve it. Most of what happened wasn't even your fault, it was him not coping with it in healthy ways." he sighed. The extreme nature of his Nephilim half's personality was something that had also impacted him and something he had gotten used to by now. The fact that he never did things by halves applied to the bad as well as the good. "I'm sorry I had to do that to you, but you forced my hand. I couldn't think of any other way to make you see what you were doing."

His eyes closed, his body heavy against Eren, his words ringing in his mind that he’d forced the demon to do this, and he agreed. If he hadn’t listened, if he hadn’t been such an idiot, they wouldn’t have got hurt tonight, none of this would have happened. They wouldn’t have been hurt  _ any _ night. Next to Jean and Marco, Levi and Eren had the next best track record of not getting injured. They only ever did because certain groups liked to take a piece out of the older Nephilim’s when they were in the field. Again, another thing that was his fault because he still insisted on hunting after all these years.

He felt the presence within him start to win out against the doubt, fear, and the darkness that had set in across his heart before the last memory had been shown to him. His shaking began to subside, not fighting it in the slightest, practically  _ welcoming _ it, for all intents and purposes. 

"Please don't make me do anything like that again, it hurts me, too, when you're hurting so much. I care about you just as much as he does, and you've been trying to be strong for so long. Just let us take care of you." he coaxed, turning his head and tilting his face down slightly in order to kiss the stray tears away as wet eyes blinked up at him, his face reading nothing but the affection usually to be found on his Nephilim half's expression rather than the contentment at a plan well executed that he really felt on the inside right now.

Levi wanted nothing more than to just let himself be taken care of, to listen to the words and follow them as gospel. He didn’t want anyone to hurt any more, not because of him. Especially Eren,  _ all _ of Eren. A hand brushed along his jaw, swallowing at the action as his shaking lessen almost completely, a tremor still going through him every few seconds, but not anywhere near as bad as he had been tonight. Eren’s thumb caught a tear and smiled affectionately towards him, their eyes meeting. It was odd, to see such an expression on his face that he’d come to realize only tormented him, and that had brought him to his knees after crushing his defences. Twice, now. He figured he could let this time slide, it had happened for his own good, all of this was a backward way of looking after him, or showing him just how far off the rails he was getting. The Nephilim obviously couldn’t to this extent, so the demon had stepped in, taken over to force Levi to listen when he’d not listened to anyone else.

The fact that the love rang true for Eren as a whole, it made his mind calm, that it was a constant no matter who he was talking to, no matter what part was in front of him. He could still feel it thrumming through his being from the memory and he figured that that was the demon showing him, over just letting him try and believe the words. He believed feelings over being told every single time. The demonic half obviously knew that, he knew him just as much as Eren did, after all, there was no denying that. He’d been through the images first hand, he’d been there through everything and now he was just bringing him into the circle of trust that knew what the Nephilim had gone through in his unplanned absence. He licked his lips, moving slightly to bump their mouths together softly, the kiss gentle as he closed his eyes, not giving Eren the chance to reciprocate it, pulling back a fraction and letting out a shaking breath. “ I can’t… begin to say, how sorry I am…” His eyes stayed closed, swallowing thickly. “I won’t hunt… I promise…”

As he was picked up he pushed against the other's chest, his feet pointing to the floor as he tried to move his legs, not succeeding as he was carried towards the bedroom, choosing to just go limp against his body instead, saving his energy. He sat upright as he was placed on the bed, eyes sluggish as he pulled his shirt off, not trusting his legs to hold his weight so just kicked his boots off to the floor and placed his shirt over them, fully intending to throw it away given it was now ripped. Eren was soon lying next to him, Levi opting to leave his trousers on, just pulling his socks off and adding them to the pile. He curling up with his head against the others shoulder, arm across his chest, holding the others side. 

"You don't have to stop hunting altogether, you know. Neither of us want you to become something you're not. Just make sure that we're together from now on." The wings shielding them were comforting, an action that always made him feel at ease. He liked the idea of being able to hunt again, not having to find other jobs to do that he’d end up hating.   
"I like the sound of that." And he did, the chance to hunt with Eren again was ideal alluring in a sense that he thoroughly missed having the other by his side, even this way, he missed. 

The constant motion of fingers running up and down his bare arm was something that was making him sleepy and as his eyes closed, he suddenly became rather aware that it wasn't a good idea to fall asleep his way. At the end of the day, he was essentially a demon, but his brain began nagging, beginning to tell him how much he'd been looked after today by the man he was lain against. Even after the revelation of the visions, he'd not wanted to do it, he'd not wanted to cause him pain. 

He fought and the aura within was fighting back dully telling him to sleep, to give in to his exhausted body and how nearly broken his mind was. It took awhile for him to give in completely, for him to finally stop forcing his eyes open, for him to care more about sleep, than the demon he was currently curled around. 


	11. Chapter 11

Levi’s eyes blinked open sometime before 7, though he didn't see a clock till 07:45 AM, having trouble getting out of the enclosure of the wings still wrapped around him. When he stood, slipping carefully from the end he stumbled, almost falling to the floor, catching himself by grabbing the bedside table, thankfully not waking Eren when he almost sent the lamp flying. His hips ached, his shoulder ached where the bullets had ripped through the flesh, he ached in general, if he were honest. 

He managed to shower, changing into somewhat loose fitting clothing and not intending to go anywhere at all for the whole day, rather looking forward to lounging and just making himself feel healthier. He ended up with a bowl full cereal on his coffee table, sat with his legs under it, eating slowly. He barely touched it, ending up drinking the milk out of it and throwing half the food away, soon sitting heavily into one of the armchairs in his living room, head resting on an upturned palm, his elbow on the arm of the chair. He could barely think, barely keep a coherent thought as he stared out the glass door leading to the balcony, eyes distant, breathing somewhat shallow as he tried to process what had happened the night before, knowing full well it wasn't going to be the Nephilim that walked through the door of his bedroom when the other did finally wake from slumber. 

Levi was still at odds with himself, on the fact that he'd managed to fall asleep with a demon lying next to him. A demon.  _ Willingly. _ Though he had to admit that he felt like himself, thankfully, looking back on the night before, it just made his heart sink. That everyone had rounded on him and put him down enough he'd willingly accepted the help of a demon, after said demon had done the exact same.

There was no keeping him out now and if he tried again, he dreaded to think what would happen, what he'd do to him. The thought lingering in his mind as he heard movement from his bedroom was the fact the demon currently waking up in his room had expressed that the feelings were mutual between both halves, and he couldn't get that out of his mind.

He heard more noise from the bedroom, eyes looking towards it, feeling tired as he shifted in his chair. He watched Eren exit the room and head to the kitchen and out of sight, though he was soon sitting himself down on the sofa next to the armchair he was in. He watched him bring the phone to his ear speaking to Hanji on the other end, and the tone made his mind question what he was seeing. If he hadn’t been looking, if he couldn’t feel the demonic presence in his mind across from him on the sofa, couldn’t see the eyes, he could have sworn it was Eren. There was no wonder it fooled Hanji. Well, apparently they were hunting together permanently now. Fixed, just like that. He didn’t feel like he should be hunting, feeling the way he did, since a weight had landed back in his mind. He still felt like himself, but on edge. He looked away as he wished her goodbye, eyes back on the symbols decorating the door. He should get rid of those, now. He didn’t think he’d need to keep up the pretence when the Nephilim in the demon wouldn’t be around to see them. 

"Morning, sunshine." The greeting made him flinch, it so reminiscence of what he used to hear every day. "Oh wait, that's his thing, isn't it, heh.. Have a good night's sleep?" The question made him want to shrug, not really knowing the appropriate gesture to convey.  
“Maybe. I didn’t wake, at least. Did you?” The question was out his mouth before he could stop himself, so used to returning it when asked by Eren how he’d slept, to make sure the other hadn’t had a rough night sleep while he’d been dead to the world. 

He didn’t feel rested in the slightest, he felt like he should just go back to bed, but he knew if he did, he wouldn’t get back out of it until he absolutely had to. He didn’t want to go down the round of just curling up in bed and feeling sorry for himself. He could do that right here in the open on the nice comfy armchair where it wouldn’t seem weird. His eyes also weren’t looking to Eren in the slightest, still on the door, though now past it, looking to the ever brightening sky.

"I don't sleep." there was a slight pause before he shrugged, figuring it would be worth adding a little explanation to that. It wasn't like he'd just lay there all night watching Levi sleep, that would make him creepy. "Or rather, I'm not aware of it when I do. Sleep's usually the time where he takes over again, and I don't like to push it, because if he realises what's going on.. well.. it might be a bit.. upsetting."

The words came out like the poorly concealed threat they were, which Levi didn’t miss, or he could hurt the unaware Nephilim more ways than physically.

Levi couldn’t tell Eren what was going on, couldn’t tell anyone in fact. Well, he could, but no one rightly believed him, and the fact that Eren didn’t want him hunting till he was completely healed was an oddly comforting thought. It was an obvious one that he didn’t want him to get hurt. The feeling was mutual. Levi didn’t want Eren hurt either.

"Still, no point dwelling on that. Did you have any plans for the day? Because I assume we're not going to be hunting. Don't want to risk anything till you're healed up." he added, looking Levi over. "You look tired."  Levi didn’t have any plans to speak of, he was planning on finally sitting down and playing the keyboard Eren had sent round for him for Christmas at some point today, to take his mind off things, but now he didn’t think he’d have the attention span, his mind half on the conversation already, half somewhere else entirely. Though he didn’t rightly know where. His eyes looked to Eren briefly, blinking a few times before looking to the floor, then back up as he spoke.   
“I feel tired. Thanks for noticing.” The tone would have been perfect with an accompanying eye roll but he didn’t give it, just looked away and brought his legs up on to the chair and curled up, arms now around his stomach loosely, head tilted down slightly. “I don’t have any plans. I don’t want a repeat of what happened yesterday with Hanji. So no office. I’m sure Erwin would like to take a stab at me as well if I showed up ..” 

Probably in more ways than one, in every sense of the word. Because Levi had no doubt everyone would be, the doubt and paranoia creeping back into his thoughts as he thought on yesterday and how Hanji had been with him. Pointedly ignoring the fact of what the demon to his right had shown him afterwards.

He felt tired, felt like he could sleep for the rest of the week and it was only Wednesday.

"Erwin.. that scheming son of a bitch. If he so much as thinks about touching what's mine again he'll fucking.." He looked around to see Eren yawning, frowning slightly at the reaction. "Fucking regret it. Ugh. Really not myself.. today.." Another yawn hit the other as Levi watched him on to his side, knees tucked in against his chest as his eyes closed. Clearly he wasn't the only one not feeling himself, but he did feel himself get lighter in a sense, his mind not feeling that presence in the back of his mind. 

He watched with bated breath, wondering who he was going to be facing, and when the other sat up on the sofa, rubbing at his eyes his frown deepened a fraction, though softened considerably at the green that met his own. "Shit... I blacked out again, didn't I.. you weren't supposed to know about that. I was supposed to be getting better. I told Hanji I was getting better, and now this. What even happened last night? I don't remember.." 

"Hey..." He pushed up off the chair slowly, not moving too fast given the pain in his hip. The wounds might be healed, but he could still feel where he'd been hurt, and would for a few hours yet. A by product of the Nephilim healing. Least he’d got rid of gauze at his hip before he showered. "Hey now, stop panicking." He sat down next to him carefully, fingers reaching out to touch Eren's chin, turning his head to face him. "It's fine, really, you got here safe. That's all that matters." He slipped his fingers from his skin, hands in his lap. 

"Why didn't you tell me? I could have helped you, Eren. You wouldn't have been bothering me, you never even get close to bothering me." 

He wanted nothing more than to take the other into his arms and never let go, to apologise for everything, to beg and to plead as Hanji had practically ordered him to do the night prior. He gained a saddened look at his thoughts, not realising the sad look would accompany the words he just spoke.

"I'm sorry, sir." as Levi's hands dropped to his lap, he shuffled closer, wrapping his arms across Levi's shoulders and pulling him into a hug, his forehead rested on the top of his head as he sighed and then took a deep breath back in. The familiar scent of fresh cotton that he always associated with Levi assaulted his senses almost straight away, calming his panic significantly. "I should have done... but I honestly thought they were starting to go away, and you have enough to deal with, what with Erwin forcing you to put up with hunting with goddamn  _ Kirst-neigh _ , of all people.. that cocky jackass.."

Although he valued Jean's friendship really, insulting him was a past-time that always made Eren feel better. He honestly thought Marco had the patience of a saint, putting up with his stupidity day in day out. "Besides that, he sent me over here. Told me to 'fuck you till you couldn't get up' if that was what it took to get you to partner with me again.. heh.. and he says I'm the suicidal bastard.."

At the mention of suicide, he froze for a second, the images of Eren heading towards the water flashing through his mind. His grip increased around Erens ribs, where his arms circled the other and his brain quickly told him to get off the subject.

"They don't want me with him, after what happened yesterday. I'm not allowed to hunt anymore." He pulled back from the hug, hands resting on Eren's thighs. "Unless it's with you. So if you'll have me..." He figured the Nephilim side didn't know any of this, thinking they weren't hunting together anymore, that the demon half of him had just called in to say they were back hunting together permanently.  
"Are you sure?" Levi nodded, the sad smile turning to something resembling something close to happiness.  
"We both can't stop hunting. That's not who either of us are." Eren smiled, the sight starting to melt the sadness away.  
"Of course I will. Do you want me to call it through?"  
"No, I'll do it, I've been told to have the day off so I'll do it later when I check-in." He stood, lying about his day off but he honestly didn’t think they’d expect him in if he were here grovelling. "Let's get you some breakfast, I'm sure you're hungry." Eren moved to follow him, yawning, rubbing idly at his face. As they got to the kitchen, Levi stopped, turning to ask what he wanted, and seeing the tired look as the other leant against the counter. He looked as tired as he fel, and it made him feel even more guilty than he already was. He couldn't stop himself, couldn't stop his feet carrying him towards him and tugging his arm quickly, making Eren stand. He was on tiptoes next, arms snaking around Erens neck and pulling him into a crushing hug, feeling arms around his waist to support him so he didn't fall, though nowhere near the grip he had around his neck. "I... Eren..." He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath, "I am  _ so _ sorry. I can't apologise to you enough."

"This isn't about the hunt yesterday, is it? Thank you, really. But.. I don't understand what you're apologising for. I'm the one who should be apologising.. if it weren't for me getting caught you wouldn't have had to remember all of this. I just.. don't want you to get hurt anymore."  
"Don't ever apologise for me remembering. I hated not knowing you." His voice was somewhat muffled, his grip having got tighter as Eren's did around his waist. "None of this is your fault. I'm sorry for yesterday, for the day before, for the day before that. For everything. I'm never going to be able to make up for it. I'll do anything to make it up to you. I don't want to cause you any pain ever again." 

And he would. He'd do anything the other asked, hell he'd find a way to give him anything he wanted, even as outrageous as the things Hanji said back at the hospital. He'd give him the moon if he could. His grip loosened slightly and he pulled away, going to stand on all of his feet instead of just his toes. His eyes went to the collar, and a sad look crossed his face again as he grey eyes darted across the leather surface. "You... I don't deserve you at all. All I've done is hurt you." It was reminiscent of the first time Eren had told him he loved him, stood together with their arms around each other in the kitchen, and he tried to focus on that thought, of seeing it through Eren's eyes, but his eyes on the collar drew the thoughts away, to not deserving him at all.

"Don't be sorry, Levi. You haven't done anything.  _ Look at me. _ " one of his hands left Levi's side to tilt his face upward again so that his eyes were drawn upward to meet Eren's own - his gaze holding nothing but concern and the love that had always been there that he was no longer afraid to show.

"Yes, I was a little worried and intimidated when I first met you, and yes, it hurt when you didn't remember me, but don't ever say you don't deserve it. You give up so much of yourself for this hunting bullshit and you never ask for a single thing in return. It's not Erwin or the Angels we're all willing to die for, it's  _ you, _ with no questions asked and no regrets." He paused, pulling Levi a little closer again and kissing his forehead. 

Levi wasn’t the leader, he didn’t deserve such praise. But how could he argue with the look and inflexion in the Nephilim’s words? It made complete and total sense when Eren was saying it. In the back of his mind, he was screaming that he didn’t want anyone ever to die for him. Period. But at the front of his brain, he was listening intently, not having the ability right now to protest it even a little bit. “If you want to make it up to me, just let me come back. Just let me try. Let me take us back to how we were. That's all I ever wanted." His eyes almost closed as Eren’s lips hovered over his own, looking to the others lip as it dragged slowly through teeth. 

“I don’t think we’ll ever be back to how we were, Eren… Too much has happened…”  
“Wasn’t it you that said we should try?” He couldn’t deny that, that’s all he’d wanted when they’d got past the whole awkward stage of him getting back his memories. Levi had wanted nothing more than to forget everything had happened, to pretend like it didn’t happen. But he didn’t think it could anymore.  
“I don’t think I can forget…” I.E: He wasn’t going to be  _ allowed _ to forget. Eren’s demonic half would easily see to that.  
“Then don’t. Just get past it and accept it as your past..  _ Our _ past.” His eyes stayed closed, breathing somewhat shakily, soon leaning up a fraction and pressing their lips together in response, as if to say ‘I can do that’, but he still wasn’t 100% sure he could.  
  
His eyes were still closed as their foreheads rested together, his arms sliding from around Eren's neck, hands running down over his collar to his chest, Eren's arms still securely around him. 

"That sounds...  _ good. _ " And it really did, Eren soon guiding him over to the sofa, pulling him down onto his front between his legs, remote in hand. 

  
  
It was barely lunchtime and Levi ended up falling asleep, face against the middle of Erens chest, lain against the back of the sofa, half on Eren's right side. He woke around 3, the other Nephilim asking what he wanted to eat, Levi not being bothered. He'd eat whatever Eren was would eat, simply because it meant he didn't have to decide as he got up to go make them something. An hour later, just after 4 PM, they were in the kitchen eating a rather lovely meal of chicken and vegetables plus potatoes. Levi had watched Eren eat quickly, his own meal vanishing a bit slower. 

He sat and spoke with Eren as he finished, the other starting to wash and clean up so he didn't have to, though Levi missed the rather shocked look at the fact Levi left a quarter of his food. It wasn't like the other to leave good food, especially from a meal that he'd often requested Eren make. More often than not Levi had put leftovers in the fridge for lunch the next day. He'd not pressed it though, just watched as he threw the remnants away, putting the plate on the side, picked up a small towel and started drying what had been washed. 

The evening passed in much the same fashion, they curled up together on the sofa watching a mindless film that Levi didn't take in in the slightest, lost within his own thoughts as his eyes stared blankly at the screen, speaking when spoken to and responding as he normally would. 

He'd been expecting the demon half to rear its head all night, waiting for the moment he came back out to play, dreading every minute. It put him on edge, and even when they were curled up in bed that night, he was still waiting, and couldn't fall asleep until Eren was dead to the world in his own dreamland. 

It was the first night in months that he had a bad dream, though not a nightmare, just mild discomfort at the images he was seeing. It was all threats left hanging, sadness colouring his thoughts, of Eren's face depressed and lonely, it being his fault that he was so sad, having no way to make it better.

* * *

The beep penetrated his dream, as well as a darkness creeping into his thoughts, shifting closer to it unconsciously. While his body tried to stay well and truly asleep, his mind had other plans. The beeping was insistent and it stirred him awake, though not opening his eyes but rolling on to his back away from Eren, voice low and thick with sleep. "Answer the damn phone already." He threw an arm over his eyes, shielding from the light seeping through the curtains, feeling lips against his ribcage before the bed shifted, signalling Eren had gone to get said phone, the beeping stopping.

Levi felt nowhere near rested, rolling back to how he had been, bar Eren under him and pulled the covers over his head, snuggling down underneath them and barely listening to the conversation Eren was having. Even less so when he sat down on the edge of the bed with it, lounging enough that Levi felt his head against his back as he curled up under the covers. 

The conversation soon ended with a cheery goodbye, and he felt arms wrap around him, or try to at least over the covers. "You can't stay there all day."  
"Watch me." His voice was sleepy, his eyes already having closed minutes ago, his body relaxing, quite prepared to go back to sleep if Eren would let him. That didn’t seem likely as the covers were pulled off him.  
"Alright. I'll watch you…" His eyes remained closed, hoping that Eren was just going to curl back up with him and let him sleep longer, feeling himself pushed on to his back by the leg that went over his waist, Eren sitting atop him lightly. He felt small kisses against his neck, fingers tilting his head to give the other more access, Levi letting it happen quite willingly, keeping his head where it was angled against the pillow. "That was Hanji by the way, we have a job later. But let's  _ enjoy _ the morning first, hmm?" The words made him shiver, breath puffing over his ear, a small nip to the shell making him lick his lips. One hand reached out carefully to rest along Eren’s neck, the other against his hip. He did like the sound of  _ enjoying the morning _ , as Eren had put it. He didn’t even know what time it was, guessing it wasn’t far off midday given the light that had been coming in through the curtains.

He felt breath over his lips, making his tongue poke out to lick them idly, soon blinking his eyes open, his body freezing slightly as he realized who was currently sat looking down at him. He stayed still, eyes darting back and forth between golden eyes. He could have sworn it had been the Nephilim that he’d been half interacting with. It unnerved him; he couldn’t tell the difference if his eyes were closed. He didn’t want to blur those lines. He couldn’t afford to.

Levi didn’t exactly want to tell the other to get off, liking the familiar weight of the male above him, and the closeness. The fear had set in that if he told him to move, he wasn’t sure of the reaction he’d get. His fingers moved gently, stroking the other's neck, feeling the collar under the pads of his finger as his eyes looked briefly to Eren’s lips, then back up, “We… er… should get up… if we have work…” He swallowed, licking his lips again, trying to stop his eyes from wandering again.

He was taken captive by the gaze that was given to him from the golden eyes above him, feeling him kiss his fingers tips, his tongue peeking out to brush against the tips of his fingers. 

"We can still stop, if you want.." It threw him for a loop, not used to this in the slightest. He was used to the demon part taking what he wanted, when he wanted it, not this, not offering to stop if Levi wished for it. He couldn't do it, the conflicting thoughts in his brain making him nod, his fingers trailing down and over the others chin, his hand falling to the mattress.  
“Really?” He saw Eren nod minutely and he licked his lips again, ambiguity battling inside his head. What remained of his reason won out though, “yes… Can we… Please…”  
“Of course, a quick kiss was placed on his lips, Levi kissing back automatically before Eren was off him and pulling his hands to get him to stand and get out of bed.   
“Thank you…”   
“I don’t want to hurt you, Levi.” He smiled a little, moving past the other, his hands lingering in Eren’s as he did so, breaking at the last minute, grabbing clothes and heading towards the bathroom.

* * *

He was starting to get a headache, not knowing what to expect from the other, because everything he’d become used to was being thrown out the window and replaced with care and affection. It was something his brain couldn’t handle, everything he knew about demons wasn’t this, wasn’t any of this.

Levi shut the door behind him, locking it quietly before placing the clothes on the counter carefully, stripping the rest of the way and climbing in the large cubicle shower in the corner of his bathroom, turning it on and letting the hot spray ease his muscles, trying to wash away the confusing thoughts, the headache in the back of his head, and the tiredness and confliction he currently felt.

As Eren left to go get his things, he breathed a sigh, letting it deflate his body as he sat on the edge of his bed after threading his harness over his feet. He’d been oddly quick, methodic, as he’d pulled on all his gear, managing to get everything on and sorted before Eren even got back. He hadn’t seen him come back, either, having been in the bathroom at the time, coming out to see Eren pulling on his harness in the living room, taking a seat across from him on the armchair, watching him tightening the straps. "Ready to go? I understand if you feel a bit apprehensive fighting with a demon, though.." he sighed. "I'd offer to hang back, let him take over, but I don’t think it would help the hunt go that well right now, he'll just think he blacked out again and get all confused.." His gaze was on the sky as well, having followed the action of Eren looking outside.

Truth be told, for their first hunt back together Hanji had been rather decent to them, giving them something easy to clearly ease them back into things. To get used to each other again. And while he wanted to get back hunting, it hadn’t been in this way. He wanted  _ Eren _ by his side, not the demon he was heading out with. Nerves and a blind instinct to not go were starting to kick in, but he knew over it all that if he didn’t go, he probably wouldn’t like the outcome.

He pushed up and out the chair, adjusting the strap across his shirt, making sure the weapons were in place as he walked. “It’ll just end up with one of us getting hurt. I don’t want that.” His hands opened the balcony doors and he was quick to jump, quick to propel himself upwards once the wind caught the wings that burst forth from his back, spiralling as he did so. He was rather glad to be back in the air, he just wished it was the Nephilim that would be flying besides him. He looked down to his balcony, seeing Eren closing the doors and looking upwards to him, soon lifting himself up onto the railing, standing there whereas Levi had just jumped over them, it being quicker and a habit that was muscle memory after all these years.

  
  
Eren had to resist the urge to roll his eyes as the two of them eventually found their targets. The group of teenagers were currently skirting the high fences of a small, out of the way cemetery, completely oblivious to the demonic aura bleeding from the ringleader. It was clear that the scrawny teen was already possessed, this demon clearly the kind strong enough to maintain an illusion of normalcy as he led the boy’s friends to their deaths, heading further in between the grave markers. The two hunters could already sense the spreading, choking darkness coming from the tree cover close by.

“Cocky little son of a bitch, this one.” the demon muttered, gold eyes glinting in amusement as his feet touched gently to the floor between the open gates, wings folding against his back. While to Levi it would probably only feel nauseous, he could already tell from the confident, persuading aura the ringleader was projecting that this was a vanity project. It was trying to set itself a nice little cult of followers up by getting the meat suit’s friends to contract with it. This wasn’t about leading the innocent kids into a trap at all. This was about using human souls to power itself up. “Wants to start a nice little collection here, I bet.”

The teenagers disappeared out of view up ahead, but Eren hung back, trying to figure out how they were going to do this. If it were up to him he'd just head straight in there and have the boy's head off, which would solve the possession quick enough.. but the others were still human and still innocent. So he didn't quite think Levi would approve since he already knew the Nephilim abhorred the idea of killing untainted innocents.

"We can't just head in there all guns blazing. Not this time.. and if we try to wait them out to get it alone, by the time they come back out of this place they'll have all signed their souls away," he added. "Any thoughts on a plan?"

It struck him as odd that the demon with him would ask his opinion on anything, especially like this. He didn't want the none possessed to be harmed at all in any scenario and he was having trouble with forming a plan about getting the teen de-possessed, though he did have to wonder if a few choice words of Latin would work on the male beside him. 

"Don't look so surprised that I'm asking for your opinion, I'm not exactly an expert on killing my own kind. Not like this, at least," he replied, weight shifting from hip to hip as his eyes scanned the tree line, his own aura spreading as his wings flared again, arms crossed.   
"Will it pause if it knows you're here?" A frown met him as he looked towards Eren. "You're a demon, it's a demon, wouldn't it stop to take a look at you? Surely it can sense both of us. It’s got to be curious why we’re together at the very least."  
"Yeah, I'd wager he would stop. It's not very often he'll have come across something like me." He started walking forwards at that, glancing over his shoulder to look back at Levi. "You needn't worry about a bit of Latin hurting me, just do what you have to," he added. It would be pointless for him to try an exorcism like this, it wasn't like the folks upstairs were going to respond to him as they would to Levi. "This is  _ my _ body, not a vessel, it's not like a little exorcism is going to send me packing. If only it were that easy, eh? Heh.."

Yeah. If only...

The other demons that he was expecting around were probably hiding in the darkness and the tree cover, unwilling to come out, given that they would have recognised Levi by now and the demonic aura being broadcast from Eren's body clearly marked him out as someone not to be messed with lightly, an active warning that if they wanted to keep their heads on their bodies they were better targeting Levi instead, and that even then it would be more or less a lost cause.

Rather than walking straight up to the small circle of teenagers sitting around a fire they'd just set up, Eren backtracked around the side, climbing up onto one of the mausoleums hemming them in on all sides, the trees a constant presence. Levi, however, headed towards the trees, staying on level ground. He had to admit, he thought about running, wondered just how far he’d get before he was caught. He couldn’t rightly leave these teenagers to the slaughter though, and he was pretty sure Eren knew this. 

"Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious moon, who is already sick and pale with grief,  that thou her maid art far more fair than she.."

Shakespeare?  _ Really? _ Talk about dramatics. Levi rolled his eyes and readied his weapons and he hid and listened, waiting for his chance to jump into the fray. "And what the devil might you be, then? Or rather.. who gave the devil wings?" Levi had stayed put, hidden out of sight, ready and waiting for his chance to jump in. No doubt he’d be given one.  
"I grew them myself," Eren replied evenly, smirking. "And I didn't do it by leeching souls from innocent people to power myself up." 

The pause was all the time he needed to advance on the demon without it noticing, it's attention on Eren, and the brunette still stood atop the mausoleum and smirked as he watched Levi punch a bullet hole in the demon's left thigh. Not enough of a wound to kill but enough to ensure it couldn't go anywhere as he lowered his gun and crossed the rest of the distance, one foot on the demon's chest to pin it to the floor.

_ “Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus, omnis satanica potestas, omnis incursio infernalis adversarii, omnis legio, omnis congregatio et secta diabolica”  _ the words were out his mouth before his brain could think to say them. The demon writhing beneath him thanks to the perfect Latin hitting it from above. 

"He speaks! O, speak again, bright angel! For thou art as glorious to this night, being o'er my head, as is a winged messenger of heaven."

It didn't take too long for Levi to reach the end of the exorcism and he glared up at him, completely unimpressed.  _ "Would you stop that?!"  
_ "Sorry.. can't help pissing them off a little." the demon replied, clearly not sorry at all given that the grin was still thoroughly in place.

It was at that point that the undisturbed circle of teenagers who were so focused on their latin that they'd missed the gunshot revealed exactly why they hadn't reacted - it was too late to stop them opening themselves up as vessels, and the demons in the trees had taken full advantage of the fact. Although they'd managed to exorcise one of the teens they now had three others to deal with, and that wasn't good.

"Ah.. slight problem there.." Eren muttered, his eyes fixed over Levi's shoulder

He looked up from where he was crouched, seeing three teenagers advancing on his position. He moved back to stand, moving around the unconscious male on the floor so it wouldn’t get in his way, gripping the sword and gun in his hand and looking between the three, two sets of eyes on him, and then another on Eren above him. He twirled the blade and lifted his gun, causing the three to stop before him, his wings flexing a little behind him. It was clear they were sizing up the outcome of a fight between both parties, and then they lunged. Levi sidestepped quickly, not wanting the fight that was clearly going to happen. He heard Eren shout from above and soon felt him land close by, though the demons had other plans, two forcing him away from Eren, then running for their lives. 

Levi being Levi, couldn’t let two demons run off with two teen vessels, wanting to save the both of them and get the demons out of them as soon as he could. So his feet were quick to hit the grass and carry him towards the two that ran. He was running for 5 minutes in pursuit, when suddenly, the demons stopped running turning quickly and taking hold of him, one grabbing each arm and forcing him to the ground, his wings crushing under him. He was turned over and pinned so he couldn’t throw them off, he felt a knife pierce his shoulder and he couldn’t help the cry of pain that left his lips, and he was soon making his wings vanish, them blurring from sight until hands gripped the base. “No fast angel boy. Too pretty…” He flinched, his body tensing as he moved his arms, to try and push himself upwards, though his movements were restricted thanks to the blade going through his shoulder, feeling tendrils of demonic power making him dizzy as he scrunched his eyes closed and waited for the pain that was about to follow, hands finding his shoulders and pushing down to keep him in place, the action causing another cry of pain to leave his throat.

Fingers brushed through his feathers, wondering why the hell they weren't going straight in for the obvious kill. Instead, they were content to keep him on the floor just admiring his wings. That turned, however, when he felt the hands around the base  _ squeeze _ .

A gunshot sounded and the hands dropped from him, and a kick later the second was off him. Levi hissed as the knife moved in his shoulder, the demonic essence coating the blade seeping in that little bit more. 

As soon as the two attackers were bleeding out on the forest floor, Eren went straight to Levi's side, his possessive smirk twisted into a look of concern that almost went as far as panic as he purposefully sped up his breathing pattern to make it sound like he'd been running after the Nephilim frantically rather than hiding behind a tree watching and waiting for the right moment to come rushing to the rescue.

"Are you okay?! Hold on, this is going to hurt." He grit his teeth together as the knife was pulled from his body, feeling his angelic powers flood to his shoulder to start knitting the skin back together and everything else that had been sliced. This meant that he was rather more susceptible given his mind was no longer beating back the demonic essence clouding the back of his brain. His eyes fell closed as Eren pulled him up and his head connected with his good shoulder, holding him tight against him as he spoke. "It's lucky I got here in time. Don't just go rushing off without me, okay? I was so worried.. if anything happened to you.." He felt the grip tighten around him, and it made him raise his left arm, his right shoulder far too painful to move right, to Eren’s side and gripping carefully. The emotion within the others' voices floored him and a guilty look crossed his face as he opened his eyes. "What were you thinking?! You must still be too worn out from the last fight, I shouldn't have tried to push this so early.." His words were so rushed, the guilt and sadness shining through to him like a beacon. 

“I.. I’m sorry… Eren… really...”  
“You don’t seem like you are!” He blinked a few times, mind whirring. It was his own fault he’d got hurt… his own fault that Eren had had to run after him. What if Eren had got here and he had been finished off? Or had got to him and ended up hurt himself? Or ended up hurt while Levi was nowhere in sight of him. He looked to his shoulder, seeing the blood coating his jacket, and could feel it soaking into his shirt, sticking to his skin. He closed his eyes again, his good arm gripping tight, and his right arm coming up to hold Eren as well, even though it caused him pain… pain he felt like he deserved. 

“I’m sorry, I should have said something… this… it was clearly too soon… I’m sorry, I am. I should have spoken up that I didn’t think it was a good idea, it’s my fault, I’m sorry. I won’t run off again…”

Eren nodded against his shoulder at that, schooling his expression from the grin on his face to a decidedly more relieved look as he pulled back up to meet Levi's eyes. The guilt that he saw resting there was all the confirmation he needed to know that his quick plan had worked.

"It's okay. I'm just happy you're alright," he replied, one of his hands gently stroking the side of Levi's face as he kissed the Nephilim's cheek, giving the impression of having forgiven him already for something that he only thought he'd done because the golden-eyed demon had set the whole thing up for him to turn his own doubt in on himself. "We should head home. Pretty sure we're done here, and I don't know about you but I'm kind of tired."

When they got home it took him a little longer to get undressed than Eren had, stripping and having to shower to get the excess blood off of him, happy to know that his shoulder wound was at least sealed. His thoughts strayed back to the hunt, his mind backtracking and thoroughly putting him in the mindset that it was his fault. If he hadn’t run off then none of this would have happened. He rolled his shoulder as he exited the shower, wincing slightly as it still hurt, but the skin was starting to look perfectly smooth now. He pulled on a pair of loose-fitting pyjama bottoms and a loose fit black long-sleeved shirt, it hanging on his shoulders at an odd angle, showing his left shoulder more, the mark on his right completely covered.

By the time he was ready and changed, he was walking over where Eren was slowly stirring awake, sitting down on the chair next to where he was wrapped up in the blanket. "Did I fall asleep or something.."  
“For quite a while, actually.” He looked to Eren, his eyes seeing green as Eren’s eyes looked to him and it made him guilty, made the thoughts come rushing back to him. 

He was lucky that Eren’s demonic half had been there to help him. What would have happened if he hadn’t come back? If Eren had woken tomorrow finding him gone for good? It made his heart clench as he thought, his hands pulled into fists, eyes looking down to the collar around the other's neck as he extracted himself from the blanket, pushing it towards the other end of the sofa.

How could he say Eren even belonged to him anymore? How could he even say that in the first place?! It didn’t feel like Eren should hold him so highly anymore, if he knew what happened tonight he was sure he’d think differently. He’d put everyone in question in danger and acted so recklessly that he’d got himself hurt. He was just thankful it hadn’t been Eren that had ended up hurt due to his stupidity. 

“Eren…” How could he get into this? He didn’t rightly know.  
“Yeah?” Eren rubbed at his eyes as Levi pushed up out the chair, heavily favouring his left arm as he did so, moving over to sit next to Eren carefully on to the sofa. “Everything alright?”   
“No…” Levi lifted his eyes to meet Eren’s, a look of guilt, of sadness on his features. “I know… Eren, what happened…” He licked his lips slightly, shaking his head. “When I lost my memories.” He looked towards Eren’s legs, his own hands in his lap, sleeves covering his left hand, fingers of his right curled into the fabric.

"Oh.. I.. alright. It doesn't change anything now, though." As Eren moved closer, resting his head atop his own, his eyes closed, his hand going to reach out to Eren’s leg, holding his thigh gently, his other hand going to Eren’s jaw. “…does it?”   
“I… Don’t… Eren.” He took a breath, staying as they were. “After everything I’ve put you through, after all the pain I’ve caused you, I don’t deserve you in the slightest. I don’t deserve the love you hold for me in any way. I…” He moved, making Eren pull back from him, his fingers trailing down the others jaw, to his neck. “I am so sorry for everything I’ve put you through…”

“Levi, please…”  
“No. Eren, let me finish.” His eyes flicked up from the collar, to see confused green eyes staring back at him. “I’m not ending this, I never would, so don’t take it the wrong way, please don’t. I want nothing more than for you to be in my life, but… I’ve lost the right to the blind faith you seem to have in me, to the feelings you insist are there. And I can see they are, I just…” His other hand came up to rest on Eren’s neck after removing Eren’s hand from the ring on the front of the collar. “I have to earn that back, to feel like I deserve it.”

“You  _ do _ deserve it, Levi. How many times do I need to tell you?”  
“You telling me I do and me feeling like I do, are two different things, Eren.” His hands went to the back of the collar, Eren’s quick to reach up to his wrists and grab hold, taking a firm grip to stop his hand advancing to the clasp.  
“No. You can’t. Don’t do this.”   
“Eren…”  
“No, Levi,  _ please _ .”  
“This isn’t goodbye, this isn’t anything. I just want to earn back your respect, your trust, the love you give me.”  
“I do trust you. I love you, Levi.”

“But you shouldn’t!” His voice raised slightly, his voice threatening to break as it did so. “You shouldn’t! After what I drove you to do, after everything that’s happened, you shouldn’t love me as blindly as you do, I’m not good for anything right now, Eren, I don’t want to hurt you anymore.”  
“You’ll hurt me if you take it off.” His eyes started to swim, looking between the green doing the same before him. “Leave it on.”  
“I can’t, Eren, I am so sorry.” He moved his hands, Eren’s staying on his wrists but not putting up much resistance. His hands shook slightly as he unclasped the collar, pulling it away in his hands, Eren’s dropping from his wrists, green eyes looking down towards it. His own grey were on it and he reached out, taking hold of Eren’s right hand and placing the leather strip into it, closing his fingers around it. “Keep it. This isn’t permanent, promise me you won’t think too much on this.”   
“Levi… I can’t _not_ think about it…” 

“Look at me, Eren.” The other didn’t respond, Levi’s left hand lifted up and the tips of his fingers pulled Eren’s face up, making him look at him. “I care about you far,  _ far  _ too much to let you get hurt. I don’t want that to happen, ever again. Do you understand me?” Eren nodded slightly, and Levi moved forwards, pressing his lips to Eren’s, his eyes slipping closed as Eren kissed back gently. He pulled away, fingers staying where they are. “Do with it what you want, until I come asking for it back, it’s yours. Just remember, this isn’t over, I’m not letting you slip through my grasp again. Just because you aren’t wearing that doesn’t mean we aren’t together.” He froze, the words out his mouth before he could even think. Though he didn’t regret it, not in the slightest, wanting to be around the other to try and make it up to him in any way that he could. “I’ll… I’ll do anything to make it up to you Eren, I mean that. I’d give you the world if I could.”

He knew Levi had said that this wasn't any kind of signal that their relationship had changed, but it felt that way to him. It felt like Levi was letting him go, pushing him away out of some stupid fear that he was going to hurt him more. His body was shaking with anger now as tears slipped down his face. It was clear as day given his expression that he felt betrayed. Angry. Sad. All the hurt that Levi had wanted to avoid causing anymore completely dominated his posture as his mind flicked back to what Jean had said, and he found himself agreeing. Fuck his reasons. Fuck his reasons and fuck this whole situation. Fist clenching around the collar in his hand, he shot up and took a step backwards, Levi's hand left lonely in mid-air where it had been against his face seconds before.

"You already did.." he muttered, utterly defeated. He didn't know how to get through to Levi, what more it would take before he could see how much he meant to him. Before he would  _ believe _ him when he said he was worth loving, worth suffering for. "But.. I guess that doesn't matter now." He bit his lip as he shuddered violently, tear flooded green eyes fixed on the collar in his hand. "It's okay, I get it. You were just humouring me the whole time, right? You'd already decided to push me away 'for my own good', and nothing I could say would change your mind, right?"

Anger crossed his face, immediately followed by guilt and sadness, because he couldn't be angry with Levi. Not when he was hurting too. So he turned his back instead, his eyes fixed on the skyline so he didn't risk turning around. He had to say this.

"I get it. I could have told you I loved you till I lost the power to speak, but it wouldn't change anything, would it? You've already gone on without me.. I get it now.. you've already decided that you can't love me in return in case it 'hurts' me, when you've already hurt me as much as it's actually possible to. You're never going to have anything to say back to me."  
"Eren.."  
"What did you think I was going to say?!! Maybe I should have just faced reality a long time ago. Maybe you were right.. maybe there is no way we can come back from this. As long as you won't believe me it's all pointless. It's like you never came home at all.. and now... now you've even taken this away from me... now I've got nothing left at all... I'm sorry... I just... need some time. I can't do this anymore."  
“No…” His body moved before he could think, his arm reaching out and taking hold of Eren’s wrist, pulling to make him turn away from the doors. “Don’t go, please, don’t do this. I’m sorry.” His voice broke halfway through, he couldn’t bear to see Eren leave. “I didn’t mean any of it that way, Eren, please, I can’t lose you. Not again.” This time, at any rate, he’d remember it. He’d remember the second,  _ the minute _ , he walked out on him and left him standing there. He wanted nothing more than to pull the Nephilim into his arms and never let go. His mind strayed to the demon half of the other, the half that would actually stop and let him do such a thing, but the Nephilim, at current, was holding strong and not letting him pull him any more than he already had. “Eren… Please. Don’t leave.”

"I have to… you've already lost me," he replied, not turning as his head hung a little, tears still running down his face. A gentle, firm tug freed his wrist from Levi's grasp. "You made sure of that when you took it off." The hand grasping the collar clenched tighter and he turned to look down at the strip of leather. "You remember what it meant when you put it on, I know you do. And you knew what taking it off meant to me. But you did it anyway. So now I have to leave." He put the collar in his pocket, then, pushing one of the glass doors open before he turned back around to Levi, his wings phasing back into existence around his shoulders. He needed to go home. Sighing, he leant forwards and pressed a kiss to Levi's forehead, wishing more than anything that he could just pull the other Nephilim towards the bedroom and curl up with him as if none of this ever happened. "This isn't permanent," he added, cruelly echoing Levi's own words back to him. "And I'll always be here to hunt with you when you need me... but.. this is better for both of us, at least for a while. I'm sorry, sir. Really." 

The lack of affection behind the word ‘sir’ was astounding, there was no comfort there as it used to bring. not looking back to him at all as he left the apartment and climbing up and onto the railings, pushing off into the sky. He felt numb, grey eyes watching the progress of several black feathers as they fell to the floor outside. His feet took him towards them, falling to his knees outside, scooping the feathers up carefully. 

His eyes swam, tears finally starting to make trails down his face, the feathers getting scrunched as his hand gripped them tight. This couldn’t be happening, this hadn’t just happened. Eren hadn’t just left him again.  _ Again _ , he thought bitterly, though the bitterness soon morphed into anger, and then sadness as the tears began to flow down his face faster, a choked sob passing his lips. He tried to breathe, to regain himself, but he just couldn’t, soon crawling on to the lounger close by and flopping on to it on his stomach. He curled into himself, hand still holding the feathers tight as the cold wing brushed against his skin, causing goosebumps to form over his arms and face.

How could he expect any less than what had happened? Why would Eren even stay after what he’d done? He’d put that collar on him to keep him safe so that Eren always knew that he’d be there, that he’d come home… and now, he’d taken that security away without even realizing it at all. He’d taken it off purely because he didn’t think he deserved the ownership that it clearly implied now he was back home, not for the reasons that it ended up being. Yet again, he’d caused Eren more pain and now he just made him walk out the door. He was hurting, and he deserved it. It was his fault Eren had left, that he’d said the things he had, how he’d laughed at what Levi had said about losing him again. That tore through him again as he shivered from the cold, fully intending to stay right where he was, not feeling the need to go inside where it would save him from the chill. He deserved to be outside, to not feel comforted by the warmth. The thought only made his mind wander to Eren’s demonic half. 

Oh how the tables had turned, Levi actually wanting the affection he’d been garnering from the demon, instead of the pain he was getting from the Nephilim. It was the underlying reason that Levi had taken the collar off, he knew that, but now all he wanted was Eren to come back, in whatever form that might be.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's slight, um, torture... in this? And sexy times.

It took him hours to finally fall to sleep, ending up backing himself into a corner of self-doubt and pity, tears not stopping until his breathing evened out and his body relaxed. The feathers were still clutched in his left hand, curled on to his side, his hand near to his chest, clutched tightly even in sleep.

He slept right through the night, not waking once, even when the weather dropped colder, it not improving much come morning. The loud banging didn’t even wake him, it travelling from the front door, all the way to the balcony. He heard his name shouted, and his eyes opened, blinking sleepily, stiff from the tears the night before. He didn’t even move, “if someone doesn’t answer, clearly, they are busy..” He spoke to himself as it registered that it was Jean’s voice he’d heard and he opened his eyes more, the sky bright, the sun shining, though he still felt rather cold, closing his eyes again and shifting slightly against the lounger, hand becoming tighter around the feathers as he attempted to fall back to sleep, even with Jean hammering on his front door.

The voice that next met his ears made him open his eyes quicker than he could think, a golden colour meeting his own grey. "Morning. I'm here now, I'll fix this mistake. He's so angry with you.. so hurt.. but I'll fix it, somehow." The small circles against his skin were soothing, welcomed in fact. The kiss had woke him up considerably. "It'll be a lot easier now I'm moving in." Another kiss left him dazed, watching Eren head into the apartment quickly to the sound of knocking. It hadn’t registered, what Eren had said to him, as he got up and moved inside his apartment, heading for his bedroom. He acquired a jacket, pulling it over himself, having started to shiver now he was awake enough. 

He moved back out, heading to the living room, being greeted by voices. "I thought you'd be used to it, Jeanny-boy, being born in a stable and all."  
"Fuck off, Jaeger." Did Armin and Jean really not see any difference at all? Did they think they were looking at the Nephilim?  
“Do you realise it wasn’t Eren you just told to fuck off?” The sentence made no sense, Jean looking at him, the annoyance gone and replaced by a confused expression.  
“Lance Corporal? Are you still asleep?”  
“Do you honestly not see the difference…” The words were out of his mouth before he could even think about what he was saying, what the consequences might be. “There’s no green…”   
“Sir, are you feeling alright?” Armin now, Levi looking at the mushroom, a frown on his face as his arms pulled up to cross loosely over his chest.

“Wait, what do you mean you’re moving in? I didn’t agree to anyone moving in here…” A frown was now on his face as he looked to the bags. “Last night… You can’t move in here.” His eyes were on Eren now, a somewhat panicked expression pushing the frown away. His brain was thinking about the minute the Nephilim woke, finding himself in his apartment, curled up in bed with him, his stuff scattered about the place, no doubt something of his on the nightstand. He took a step back looking alarmed as Eren headed towards him. There were people here, and if Eren tried anything, he’d be shouting at the top of his lungs. “No. You can’t.” Eren stopped, looking at him, sighing lightly.

The glance made his arms tighten slightly, after moving down to hold his stomach. Why did people not  _ see _ what was right in front of them? "Are you sure you're okay, sir?" the blond asked, looking up at Levi, timid and concerned. Although they'd had their differences he still wanted the older Nephilim to be alright with all of this. "It sounds like you  _ are _ overtired. What aren't we seeing that you are? Are you sure you're not imagining something?"  
“He’s not… I’m not imagining it!” He snapped quietly, “Armin you of all people should be seeing how off Eren is. He’s not himself. It’s not Eren!”   
“Sir, maybe you’re coming down with something. Have you been sleeping alright?”   
“I’ve been sleeping fine!” He turned away from Armin then, heading towards the kitchen and yanking the fridge open, pulling out the juice. Why did no one believe him? Why could no one see what he could see?

  
A few moments passed him by, pouring himself a drink as Armin gave him a curious look, even Jean did. Though, when he saw Jean looking in his direction, the gaze softened and Levi felt caught. The tall male took a step towards him before Eren intervened, and suddenly, Levi wanted nothing more than to have Jean stay, Armin too. Had Jean seen something? Had he finally started using the eyes that were clearly on his face? “Thanks for helping guys!”   
“Yeah yeah,” Jean pulled his gaze away from Levi, who was looking extremely worn out.  
“It’s no trouble, maybe he should go see Hanji, he looks like he’s coming down with something.”  
“He’ll be fine, he’s not been sleeping well, I’ll make sure he does tonight. He’ll be fine by morning.” He placed the glass down, moving back into the living room slowly, getting in view of the door in time to hear the hasty goodbyes, the door shutting and being locked behind them, Eren turning to face him. He took a few steps back instinctively, hands raising a little in surrender, but not quite all the way.

"That wasn't very nice of you, Levi. I thought we were finally starting to get somewhere." Eren closed the gap between them with a decidedly predatory look, amused as he made Levi fall back onto the sofa as he backed him up enough. "I can even help you get him back." his voice dropped an octave as he slid closer, straddling Levi's lap with his hands on either side of his head against the sofa's back as he brought their faces a little closer.

Even though he’d had a lot of affection from this being late, and had been helped and comforted in his arms, he still knew he was a demon, still knew what it was he was capable of. His mind still remembered the first few meetings, of the threats and open-ended promises.

"Why should I believe you'd want to do that?" _   
_ "Because it matches up with what I want, too. There's always something in it for me." Levi's eyes had closed moments before Eren had said this, the aura pushing at his mind as the few mental defences he'd put back up quickly crumbled against his will as the aura rolled against them through his mind. "He's right, you know. It does look better on you." He was about to ask what the other meant, then felt something against his throat. He swallowed, the fingers of his right hands moving from where both his hands had moved to rest against Eren's thighs, gently touching the leather before withdrawing his hand back to where it had been. "There. Now you're mine. And his, too. If anyone asks, this was his condition. This is what shows your guilt for the world to see. This is what lets everyone know you're making up for causing him to suffer so much." A shiver ran through him as the words were spoken softly against his ear, and another followed the first as slender fingers wrapped through the ring decorating the front of the collar, a small gasp escaping him as he was pulled closer, swallowing automatically at the action. "This is your punishment, pet, and you'd better hope you can  _ persuade  _ me to be merciful."

Another shiver ran down his spine as teeth dragged across the shell of his ear, causing his eyes to flutter closed and his hands to tighten their grip a fraction on Eren's thighs. People would believe it, when he ultimately had to tell them, everyone had told him to make it up to the other in any way that he possibly could. They'd believe this, but they wouldn't believe anything else, which saddened him because it meant he was stuck and cornered and there was nothing he could do about it.

But the demon was right, he did deserve to be punished, given how he'd made the Nephilim half feel the night before, and countless nights and days before that. 

Eren moved back, fingers still threaded through the loop, still pulling him closer by the neck gently as he felt the last of the defences fall and his mind reel back into something akin to submission, giving his current situation and his eyes fluttered at the feeling. He managed to keep them open, hands sliding a little as grey eyes looked to Eren's lips. "I guess... Moving in here isn't a bad thing..."  
"It's a good thing," he whispered against his lips, moving so they were barely an inch apart.   
"I belong to both of you, now." The words didn’t sound like his own, didn’t feel like he was saying them.  
"Damn right you do," he eyes finally shut, wanting nothing more than to close the gap between them, wanting to feel Eren's lips on his tongue... in his mouth. 

And he was granted his wish a heartbeat later, another tug causing him to move forwards, their lips meeting quickly. A hand was quick to move up and rest against the other's neck, the lack of collar around the male's neck feeling highly strange but just re-enforced the fact that it was around his own neck now. The thought made a shiver run through his spine exactly like the first time it had been out there, all those months ago. He couldn't deny the fact that deep down, it caused him some sort of pleasure, for him to be the submissive one for a change. 

A hand had found his hair, fisting into it roughly and pulling backwards, effectively ending the kiss and making him flinch at the action as goosebumps began to litter his skin, even though he was wearing a jacket over a long-sleeved top. His eyes opened as his head was angled to the left, grey eyes seeing that gold was on his throat. "I think you like the collar around your own neck, don't you? You like it rough anyway..." Eyes pulled up to his own, a mischievous glint in the other's eyes as he looked back down, Levi moving his head to give more access before Eren had even moved in. "Such a thoughtful little pet aren't you?"

His eyes were looking over the others shoulder, and he finally felt as submissive as his mind was telling him to be. The word making the other pause, the slight movement of the other's hips making his eyes close at the contact as he adjusted how he sat minutely.

"Yeah..."  
"I meant it when I said this was a punishment.. and I'll make sure it's a  _ good _ one. I'll make you worth his love again if that is what you want.” The kiss to his neck made him shiver, as the words registered in his brain and before he knew it, Eren was pulling away. "But first you need to eat something. I can't have you blacking out on me halfway.. and I'm not being very fair if I don't look after you in return." Eren was off him there, Levi swallowing thickly as he watched him leave, deflating slightly as he tilted his head forwards slightly, wanting to just curl up at the end of the sofa and go back to sleep. But he knew that wasn’t an option. Eren wouldn’t let him fall asleep after he’d been asleep all night and all morning. Breakfast seemed rather redundant, it being almost 1 PM, but he supposed there was nothing new there, they always ended up with lunch as their first meal of the day.

As Eren returned, a tray laden with food he sat up a little straighter, eyes scanning the tray, not really wanting any of it. He pulled the coffee table closer to him, pouring a small amount of cereal and only filling the bowl half way with milk, picking up a spoon carefully and beginning to eat, leaning forwards as he did so. He was slow to eat the contents, ending up stopping half way through the small amount and pushing it away, licking his lips as he sat back against the sofa, trying not to move much in case he jostled the demon next to him. A few seconds passed, and he looked to Eren as he sighed, watching him grab a fork and spear fruit on to the end of it, moving to his side move and holding the fork near to his mouth. "Eat. If I have to feed you myself, I will. Please don't make me worry anymore." The gentle words made him freeze, after the confident, dominant show he’d just bore victim to, he struggled to get his mind around it, sending his thoughts backtracking slightly. His eyes looked into a worried stare and soon looked towards the fruit. He didn’t want to worry him, he didn’t want to upset him, and he only wanted to make sure they were alright. Levi was leaning forwards a moment later and covering it with his mouth, moving back, sliding his lips along the prongs as it left his mouth, Eren smiling as he moved it away, doing the same again. 

“Eren…”   
“Levi, please. You’ve gotta eat.”   
“I ate cereal.”  
“There’s half of it left. Please, just eat it. I’ll be worrying about you all day if you don’t. Do you really want me to worry?” Levi shook his head slowly, Eren waving the fork slightly before stopping and holding it out again, Levi doing the same action again, chewing slowly as he looked away to the half-eaten cereal on the coffee table.

"Come on.. yesterday was a pain in the ass. Let's just stay in bed and avoid having to be too productive for a while."  
“But it’s not even 2 yet. We shouldn’t sleep.”  
“So? We have nowhere to be.” Despite the small protest, he let himself be taken to the bedroom, Eren letting go of his wrist as they crossed through the door, Levi taking off his jacket and placing it carefully on the back of a chair pushed against the wall next to the balcony door.

He was soon padding barefoot across the plush carpet, climbing on to the other side of the bed, Eren pulling him close to him, Levi ending up losing his balance and falling against his side, the action actually drawing a small laugh from him as it happened, looking up and seeing Eren smiling at the sound, or that’s how it looked to him, at any rate. He head rested against Eren’s shoulder, his right forearm, the one under him, against his stomach. The arm that circled it’s way around him protectively, getting close enough for his fingers to reach in search of Eren’s, Levi linking their fingers together before he realized what he’d done, waiting for Erne to either pull his hand away or tell him off, or both. But none came, so he moved his left hand, bringing it up to rest against Eren’s chest, it half covered next to his face, only his fingers showing from under the fabric.

It didn’t take long for his eyelids to become heavy, Eren’s fingers on his free hand running gently over the fabric covering his arms, his body becoming heavy at the comforting gesture, and the fact his hand was still linked with Eren’s was helping with the comfort. His mind soon followed suit as his body relaxed, falling heavy against Eren’s side, his thoughts ending up blank as his mind focused on the aura still hanging in the back of his mind, feeling it upon Eren’s skin as he lay against him, it lulling him into sleep fairly quickly.

As Eren moved out from under him, he jostled him awake, blinking slowly, not able to keep his eyes open, pulling the covers towards himself, curling his knees slightly towards his chest. A few minutes passed by, Levi idly wondering why Eren wasn’t back yet, his eyes blinking open again, looking straight on towards the balcony, a small frown appearing on his face as he saw Eren outside with another figure… a figure he recognized. He thought he might still be asleep, but he didn’t think his mind could conjure this up. Petra hadn’t occupied his thoughts since the demon half of Eren had started occurring regularly. Why was Eren talking to her? Were they working together? Did she still want to try and hurt him? To take him away from everything? His eyes fell closed, not wanting to watch the scene play out, hearing the door minutes later as Eren reentered, soon climbing back into bed with him, Levi being pulled back to where he was. He made a quiet noise, wanting to question and ask about Petra, but fearing when Eren would do if he did. He didn’t want to upset him in the slightest.

He nuzzled into Eren slightly pushing up from him, looking tired enough that it looked as though he was just waking, choosing not to mention the fact he’d seen him with Petra. He sat up, bracing himself against Eren’s chest, one hand against his rib cage, the other coming up to rub at his eyes. “How long was I asleep?” 

“Few hours. How are you feeling?”  
“Better… I think.” He yawned slightly, covering his mouth with his hand as he leaned forwards slightly, eyes on Eren’s neck, his body making him move his own neck slightly, feeling the collar still around his neck. It was going to take some getting used to.  
"That's good then," he replied, dipping his head to drop a kiss to Levi's neck at the juncture between throat and jaw, just above the collar, one of his hands lifting so that his fingers could trace teasingly around the steel ring at the front before slipping through the centre and taking a firm grip. "Better means I can play with you a little." his voice dropped to a low, lustful whisper against Levi's skin and he could already feel the shiver going through the other's system. "Can't I?"

He was about to protest, wanting to say no, that he wasn’t in the mood for such antics that the lustful tone implied. But he didn’t get the chance, his speech of ‘no’ getting lost within a kiss as lips pressed into his own and a hand-pulled him in by the ring on the collar. He knew all his weak spots and he felt at a definite disadvantage as his lip dragged through Eren’s teeth. The suction that followed made him gasp, wanting to put the other closer and seal their lips together again, Eren beating him to it as he moved in to deepen the kiss considerably. There was no opening for him to stop this, to push Eren off him, and his will to do so was starting to crumble underneath the actions, soon on his back, a lusty look crossing his face at the friction between his legs. "Although.. I need to grab something first." 

As the contact vanished he started to sit upright, propping himself up on his elbows first, and then pushing himself the rest of the way, watching as Eren retrieved something from the wardrobe… it turned out to be a bag he recognised as one Eren had brought behind his back. He’d shown him the contents but they’d never got round to using them...

Levi bent his legs so his knees touched, his feet apart, his elbows resting against his knees, wrists crossed as his forearms hung forwards. His eyes looked to the bag at the end of the bed, grey not moving from it, even as Eren spoke. "Now you know what's coming.." But soon it didn’t matter, Eren filling his vision as fingers hooked around the steel loop again. He should have known that would be his new favourite thing, he was grabbing it every chance he got. His eyes returned to Eren’s, his arms now bracing him, hands planted next to his hips on the covers. "Do you still want me to punish you? Tell me that you want me, pet." He became flustered, looked between Eren’s eyes, grey soon settling on to his lips, eyes looking half-lidded as he did so.  
“I… I don’t want, punishing…”   
“I told you that you were getting punished, Levi…” He felt the grip around the ring tighten slightly, causing his face to move closer by a small fraction, just enough for him to feel it. “I promise it’ll feel  _ good _ .”   
“I don’t… I don’t want that…” He saw something flash through Eren’s eyes, and suddenly lips were on his, a sharp tug around his neck causing him to jolt forwards, a tongue soon invading his mouth. 

His eyes fluttered closed, soon feeling Eren move, not noticing the bag went with him, being placed next to them as Levi was pushed back on to his back, Eren straddling his hips as he did so. Despite what he’d said, his worries started to slip away as hands found their way under his top, pressing against sensitive flesh as they probed his skin, teasing at spots Eren knew full well made him squirm. 

He couldn’t just let this happen, he couldn’t just sit back and let himself get drawn in to this. His brain unclouded slightly, forced him to think clearly, to get his act together. His hands stilled for a moment on Eren’s shoulder and was soon pushing him off, putting enough force behind it that it made him fall on to his backside on the covers, Levi scooting away and heading off the edge of the bed. “I said no.” His voice was oddly firm as he moved towards the door though he didn’t make it very far, only getting partway to the door before his body was pulled, twisted and then pushed, back meeting the wall and knocking the breath out of him. 

“Didn’t say you could leave, pet.” Levi’s eyes looked up to Eren, slight panic there, underneath the confusion at the roughness, having got nothing but care and affection from the Demon the past few days.

“I don’t want this. Not like this, Eren…” He tried to push again, Eren’s body quick to press and outline his own, sandwiching him against the wall, lips connecting with his neck, just above the leather of the collar adorning his neck. He could feel the tease of the demonic aura surrounding the other touching at the edges of his mind, just enough to let him know it was there, that if he didn’t cooperate he’d probably be in trouble. It didn’t stop him, trying to push the other off again, getting as far as putting a gap in between them and slipping out and towards the door, a hand quick to grab his wrist, pulling back until he was on tiptoes, strong arms encircling him and nearly holding him off the floor. Levi’s hands automatically went to hold Eren’s biceps so he didn’t fall, even though he knew full well Eren wouldn’t let him fall to the floor.

“What did I just tell you? Do you want punishing  _ more? _ Because that’s where you’re headed,  _ Corporal.” _ The title was jarring, not having heard it spoken by Eren in quite some time, not this Eren at least. It dragged up memories of the Nephilim saying it to him while he was bound and blinded and it made a blush creep across his cheek, and a deadly smirk to form across Eren’s lips at the sight.

"Oh? Did calling you that bring back memories, by any chance?" Eren teased, the demonic aura directed at the Nephilim for a purpose now, being used to make sure he couldn't  _ avoid _ thinking about what it had felt like being tied down and teased till he screamed. Although the scene would be viewed through Eren's point of view again, if he allowed himself to see that much and didn't try to push the images in his mind away, because that was what the demon had access to. He'd centred in on the moment Levi caved and asked outright for Eren to pound him senseless, because he was trapped, bound hands over Eren's shoulders, unable to force or persuade Eren to move, to give him what he wanted, any other way but by giving in.

He could sense the internal struggle the memories were causing, and he took the moment and ran with it, a quick twist and push leaving them both back on the bed, the Nephilim pinned beneath him again where, as far as Eren was concerned, he belonged.

"Now that I think about it, you're lucky I exist. If it weren't for me, you'd be exactly where I found you, cold and alone. You would have driven him straight back to Armin." He didn't want that, never wanted that. Levi wanted Eren to be with him, completely, no one else. He couldn’t get the thought out of his mind as he thought back to that morning. "And what's to say he'll keep coming back? What's to say he'll keep forgiving you?" The sad tone and the kiss to his neck sent his eyes closing. He was right. There was nothing stopping Eren from not forgiving him over this, there was no guarantee that he would come back to him. Even though it wouldn't be with Armin, since the other thought they were now back together considering he helped Eren move back in. But he couldn't consider that, didn't want Eren anywhere but with him. It was a selfish thought, but he couldn't help having it. It wasn't like the demon above him wanted to say such things to him, to upset him to this kind of point, he could tell that from the other's voice. 

"At least you know  _ I'll _ always be here. _ I'd  _ never turn you away, not like he would." He hadn't turned away from him... He hadn't left him, he'd always come back... "Why won't you let me make you feel good, too? Is that too much to ask?"

It didn't seem like too much to ask. It was something well within his rights to give. He just really hadn't wanted this to happen by force, with the demon taking what he wanted and him not agreeing to it in the slightest. He didn't want the other to worry, didn't want him to think he was upsetting him. 

"I'm sorry... I didn't think of it like that..." Teeth dragged across his throat, making a shiver run through his body. "It's not too much to ask... It's not." His body relaxed into the touches, letting the fingers push further up his torso under the shirt, another button being opened to give the other more access, there now only a few left to undo.  
"Are you going to let me make you feel good," a kiss to his throat, "Corporal?" A small suck to the skin under his jaw. He nodded slightly, "I asked for a response, pet." His eyes closed, licking his lips slightly as his hands gripped Eren's upper arms.   
"Yes."  
"You know I'm doing this all for you, anyway. It's not just my other half who loves you." 

Even though this sent a flutter through him, he didn’t feel like he deserved anything, feelings of love especially from the creature pressing him to the mattress, let alone the Nephilim that was being suppressed with the other's mind. Before he could protest it, lips sealed over his own, enjoying the playfulness that ensued, rather taken aback when it suddenly, seemingly out of nowhere, became more lustful, dominance radiating from it completely. It washed over him as Eren’s hips rolled in to his own, making his breathing stutter. Lips left his own and headed to the expanse of his throat. He flinched involuntarily as Eren latched straight on to the sweet spot on his neck and sucked, teasing a mark out quickly and making his squirm as hands started to press and run against his torso. "Still, I won't blindfold you this time. I want you to know the difference." Before he could process the words his wrists were taken and held above his head and pinned with one hand. He tried to move, Eren’s grip only increasing, adding more weight to it so he couldn’t move his wrists out of the grasp. 

Fingers were against his hip as the man nudged his neck with his nose. It made him swallow and then gasp as nails dragged across his flesh, over his hips, making him jerk slightly at the contact. There would be marks there tomorrow, for definite. The fingers ghosted upwards to under his ribs, Levi feeling Eren’s lips just behind his ear, lips kissing gently. Suction was applied and nails dragged simultaneously, causing a half-suppressed moan to pass his lips. “Now  _ that’s _ what I wanted to hear.” The words were a whisper, spoken against his ear, making a shiver run right through him, undisguised as his eyes closed again, teeth dragging over the shell of his ear. It was winding his gears something chronic, to say that  _ this _ was what Eren was classing as punishment. As the thought crossed his mind, his mouth moved without his say so. 

“Are you classing this as punishment?” He froze after his brain registered that it was in fact his voice that had spoken the words, his eyes staying closed not wanting to see what was about to happen as a consequence to the words.  
"Look at me, Levi.” His eyes remained closed as his head was turned to face Eren’s, hearing the clink of metal to his left, his eyes scrunching closed that little bit tighter. It took him a few moments, but his eyes slowly opened, as nothing forceful or harsh was sent his way, rather surprised he hadn’t received any. Why was he not angry at the comment? Grey eyes looked to the handcuffs, and then to the crop that was pulled from the bag, watching Eren test how much it would bend and how much give it had. That couldn’t be good… Though he had to admit, the leather looked good between the other's teeth, eyes trained on it until it dropped, "would you rather I punish you like this instead. Although, perhaps that's a stupid question. We both already know you like a little pain." He couldn’t deny it, and if he did Eren would see right through it, he was sure of it. “Let’s see…” He drew the words out slowly, his hands moving quickly, Levi’s soon pulled and cuffed to the headboard, through the bars in the wood. 

He tried to look up slightly, bending his body as his fingers groped blindly until he was able to look at them awkwardly. “Whatcha lookin’ for?” His fingers obviously couldn’t reach and he felt Eren move, a hand on his stomach to make his body lay flat, making his eyes look back to him to see another pair of handcuffs dangling from his fingers. “Oops,  _ might _ have forgotten to use the one with the release button on the edge…” Levi stopped trying to press the button he knew should be there. “Don’t tug too much pet, you might hurt yourself.” Levi’s hands had shifted as Eren spoke, fingers curling around the bars he was held captive by. The chain was quite long, so it was hanging slack as he did so. 

“Could you not have taken my shirt off beforehand?”   
“Hmmm.” Eren regarded him slightly, eyes looking over his chest, placing the crop against Levi’s stomach and taking hold of the shirt in his hands. Levi was quite prepared to brace himself for the rip that was about to sound through the room, thinking he was just going to pull it off him, but he didn’t, and he was surprised when Eren was throwing the fabric away from the both of them, landing softly on the floor. “Like I need to rip anything, do you have such little faith in me?” The words came out hurt, Levi shifting, but not being able to do much to stop the hurt tone in Eren’s voice. “You’ll just… have to make it up to me.” Levi blinked slowly, Eren’s mouth lowering to his collarbone, kissing and licking a trail to his right nipple, enclosing it in his mouth, Levi clamping his teeth shut as his eyes fluttered closed

“Are you being difficult on purpose I wonder…?” Difficult? He wasn’t being difficult!! A hand suddenly gripped between his legs, a disgruntled moan escaping his lips. “No… just stubborn maybe? I’m sure we can fix that.” He shifted off him, Eren’s shirt quick to come off his upper body and joining Levi’s on the floor. The Nephilim couldn’t help but let his eyes wander, though soon wasn’t able as he was manhandled, being turned over on the covers, on to his front. 

“E-Eren…” he readjusted his hands, the chain twisting, pulling taut but not to the point it was strained as Levi’s hands went back to the bars, holding there gently, just to occupy his hands.  
“Shuuush,” he felt lips against his shoulder, his eyes instantly closing as a sigh escaped his lips. He tried to roll his shoulders, not being able and not wanting to as Eren’s hands moved across them, pads of fingers carefully tracing the tattooed wings across his skin. He turned his head to the side, feeling Eren climb atop him and on to his backside, perching there as he pressed his fingers that bit harder against the lines, a soft moan passing his lips again as it happened. If this was punishment, hell he was going to misbehave more often.

“Now where is the spot… I know it’s here…” He shivered again as the fingers worked their way down his back, not quite massaging, but seeking out that one small spot that sent Levi reeling. “Is it… here…?” the fingers of Eren’s right hand pressed just right of his spine, his hands increasing the grip around the headboard bars. “No, hmm…” Levi had the feeling Eren knew exactly where it was. It wasn’t something the male above him was ever likely to forget. It was just to the left of the base of his wings, and it made him see stars. He felt fingers run down his back again, pointedly avoiding the base of his wings. “Maayybee… it’s here.” His whole body tensed, his eyes scrunching closed, his grip on the bars increasing tenfold. His legs kicked under him, causing Eren to laugh, twitching as he breathed out the breath he’d been holding, the half-suppressed moan being let out his throat. 

He took it back, this was torture enough that he didn’t  _ want _ to know what was coming next. “Now, for the main event…” He froze, as both Eren’s hands gripped the base of his wings, “3… 2…” his shoulders tensed, and he was waiting for the push. Eren smirking as he waited for more than a second, more than ten seconds, wondering what Levi would do. The Nephilim was slowly losing his mind, hands pressed against such a sensitive spot, but no movement, just holding there carefully. 

“Eh…”   
“Hmmm, you alright?” He blinked his eyes a few times, though not being able to keep them open, a loud moan ripping out of his throat as Eren pushed and gripped and pulled all at once, his wings bursting forth from his back, narrowly avoiding the demon sat atop him, feathers raining down on to the bed. “Just what I wanted to see, my beautiful pet.” He gasped, breathing heavy, his wings arching from his back, soon falling towards his body. Strong hands caught them loosely, making them head straight up at the base for a handful of inches. Slightly before where Eren’s hands gripped were pure white, above that, the off coloring began, it more noticeable than ever, not quite the awful yellow that white normally went but closer to being mingled with the grey of his eyes. Still white, but not as white as at the base. The rest of the wings collapsed there, Levi only having the will to make them fall slowly, not in the slightest bit interested in keeping them aloft unless told to do so. So they trailed over Eren’s thighs and covered the double bed, the tips falling over the edge, though not evenly, the two of them being to the right more. It didn't take long though for the hold Eren had on him to start to irritate him to the point where he squirmed for a few seconds

“E-Eren, please… Let go…” His wings twitched slowly, as he tried to remove them from Eren’s grasp, the gentle but firm grip not wavering, not letting him move away.

The demon was too busy marvelling over the sight of Levi’s wings, and the fact that he’d figured out how to trigger their appearance without Levi consciously having to do it, to really pay that much attention to the words.

“Oh, I don’t think so.” The words were a lot stricter, colder, than his previous playful tone, as the grip on Levi’s right-wing increased and he tugged a tiny bit in an effort to put an end to the effort to move them away. He was wary of the fact that he knew Petra had broken bones in the other one and fully aware that doing anything with Levi’s wings at all was a fine line to walk, so he was leaving that one alone, his grip on the left-wing dropping completely as he leant to the side and picked the crop back up.

The leather tip was gently run over the feathers of the freed wing, teasing at points before he moved on again, going back and forth a little against the grain of the feathers to spike them up before smoothing them over. He felt more than heard the sudden inhale as Levi’s spine went straight once he understood exactly what he was feeling and all the muscles in his back tensed more, the twitching of his wings increasing.

“I have to make this hurt a little, don’t I? You’re supposed to be making up for the pain you caused him, after all.”

The words were accompanied by a quick kiss to the nape of Levi’s neck, shortly followed by one to his shoulder in an effort to relax the Nephilim as much as possible. If he carried on being as tensed up as he was this would hurt even more. Not that Eren minded that prospect much.

“Not my wings, Eren.” The words weren’t quite pleading, more like cautious, as if he was testing how much give he had before the demon decided he had too much freedom in terms of being able to say no. “That’s just... too much.”  
“No, not your wings.” Eren echoed, complete agreement in his tone this time as he felt Eren shift backwards off him to give himself more room but couldn’t really look around to see anything, especially not with the hand still on his wing keeping him still. “How about here instead?”

There wasn’t time to come up with any kind of answer to the question, as almost immediately after Eren brought the crop down in a series of quick, sharp strikes over all the spots on Levi’s back that he’d just run his fingers against moments ago to try and find the point that would force Levi to show his wings.

Although it wasn’t the pain that Eren had threatened when he ran the crop over Levi’s wings the sharp sting was still harsh enough, red lines being left behind with each strike, the demon able to feel the body beneath his grip half-jerking and then stopping as Levi tried to control his reactions, apparently clamping his teeth shut to try and keep any pained sounds under wraps too. Well, that was no fun. He had no doubt that the sensitive nerves in Levi’s back were absolutely singing with pain right now, and he wanted to  _ hear _ evidence of that fact, rather than just watch Levi struggle to hold it all back.

At strike five, Eren paused, tugging at Levi’s right-wing again just barely but enough to attract his attention again and pull him out of the pained haze briefly.

“Fifteen more and we’ll call it even, shall we?”  
_ “E-Eren—”  
_ “—Fifteen. Be thankful I’m not making you  _ count _ them or we’d be here longer because I’d have to start over every time you missed one.” 

He tried to protest, to get him to stop, to rethink it, his body already thrumming with pain beyond reason, but his thoughts were cut short as strike 6 hit his back, starting off the next round, Levi barely being able to count past 6. Eren had been right, he would have missed numbers. Around the 8 hit mark, he couldn’t hold it back any longer, hit legs kicking out under him, under Eren, attempting to throw him off to no success. His voice broke over Eren’s name more times than he could count, trying to get him to stop, to just stop and leave him alone. Tears clung to his eyes due to the pain, feeling every lash, every harsh cut of leather, and he was damn sure he’d be bleeding there at some point. He was just thankful to whatever deity was listening, that Eren hadn’t decided to do this to his wings. He wouldn’t be conscious if he has, and that was that.

Once Eren got to 20 after the first 5, Levi felt his wing released and the sharp pain stop. He fell forwards the few inches he’d been held off the mattress by the hand on his wing, his body still twitching slightly, his breathing heavy and erratic, a layer of sweat had formed on his exposed upper body, across his face as tears leaked from his eyes. The slight touches, the open-mouthed, gentle kisses did nothing to soothe the pain, if anything, he felt like it agitated the skin more. All 20 of the marks on his back were burning like fire, like holy oil against his skin. “I’m sorry.” The regretful, sad tone that hit his ears did nothing to help the tears, the pain coursing through him. It was his own fault he’d needed punishment in the slightest, the demon obviously didn’t want to conduct it, but that went against everything he knew, everything he understood about demons and how they acted. Demons were supposed to have enjoyed that, to keep it going for as long as they could. 

But… Eren didn’t seem to in the slightest… Were all the words true??? “Really, I’m sorry I had to do that. But you had to be punished, and now I’ve done it I can make you forget about it.” The pain was made even worse when he was turned over, the covers connecting harshly with his back, his wings pulling underneath him lazily so they were flat against them, wanting nothing more than to be back on his front or on his side, not letting anything rub against the angry lines against the space of his back. The kiss didn’t distract from the pain, he doubted anything would, but his eyes closed at the contact, his brain spinning now Eren had done another complete 180 turn in outward behaviour. “Can you forgive me enough to let me do that?”

How could he forgive when he didn’t know how to be forgiven? 

But, at the end of the day, it wasn’t the demons' fault he’d had to do that, it was Levi’s, and every small shift reminded him of that fact as pain shot through him thanks to the covers. He flinched slightly as he did so, eyes looking up to the golden circles above him. He nodded a small nod, “I… I can… I’m sorry, E-Eren, for making you do that…” His voice was small, quiet, breathing heavily. “It hurts…” he knew Eren would know it hurts, he didn’t need to verbalize it, but he was more referring to the covers against him. As much as he didn’t like being on his front, he’d take it over this any day. His arms tugged at the handcuffs, flinching again as he realized he’d snagged skin during being whipped, feeling the small cuts thanks to the metal on both his wrists. His eyes averted, to Eren’s lips, speaking to them, somewhat embarrassedly. “Ca… Can I please… move?” He didn’t rightly think he should be asking, his brain telling him to stop 8 words ago, but his mouth and body were thinking otherwise. Levi just wanted to dull the pain, to stop it radiating through his entire being. It made his wings quiver if he moved and scraped his back at an odd angle.

“Yes, of course.” 

He was thankful when the cuffs were unlocked, pulling his hands to his chest, rubbing at his wrists idly. It took him a couple of minutes to move, wincing with every twitch and use of his muscles. His legs were soon over the edge of the bed, hands gripping the edge near his hips with his toes skimming the floor as he bowed his head a little, twitching visibly thanks to the marks on his back. He guessed it’d be healed by morning, the next night at the latest. Though it didn’t feel like it was healing at all right now. He felt lips against his shoulders, the back of his neck, and soon felt the darkness push at his mind again and he swallowed, his eyes opening as the pain lessened. The conversation that followed was one of confusion and surprise, his brain not quite comprehending the fact that a demon was willingly lessening his pain. He hated to admit it, but it made his body relax, to know Eren was doing such a thing for him after what had happened.

“Does that feel better, pet?”

Eren moved around Levi’s side, getting up and kneeling on the floor between Levi’s legs so that he could see his face again. One hand more or less instantly started the process of tracing small, random patterns against the side of his thigh while the other reached up to slide under Levi’s jaw, coaxing him to raise his head and look him in the eye.

“I.. yes. What did you do?”  
“Just took a little bit of the pain away. I can handle it, I’m a demon. It’s not like I’m afraid of a little sting now and then.” he replied, this being the first time that he’d actively reminded Levi of what he was for a while.  
“I can handle it too.” the words came out defiant, low and rushed, as though he was speaking without really thinking about it. “Sir.”

“Sir?” This level of submission and compliance was the most adorable thing Eren had ever witnessed, especially when Levi averted his gaze when questioned. It was clear Levi didn’t want that punishment happening again. That's the only way Levi would willingly say such a thing to him. “I know you can, I’ve seen you do it before.” Eren replied, leaning up to kiss away the tears he could still see. “But I  _ wanted _ to do this for you.” And there he went again, completely going against everything Levi thought he knew about demons. The very idea of a demon actively taking the pain  _ away _ from someone as opposed to causing it was ridiculous, almost heresy as far as he was aware that the Nephilim’s normal training on them prescribed.

“I said I’d make you forget about it, and now I can,” he added, his mouth moving to Levi’s ear to give it a quick, affectionate nip before he moved on, kissing and just barely nipping the places he’d left marks down his neck and collarbone. “And I will.”

His path downward didn’t stop, the demon making sure to pause over the few spots on Levi’s ribs he knew were the most effective at making his mind go blank in an effort to get a more happy reaction from him, his hands effectively stripping Levi of the rest of the clothing covering his bottom half and leaving it to one side before his mouth got that far down. The nipping and kissing spread to either hip bone and then his thighs as he wrapped his fingers around Levi’s arousal and focused his attention solely on making him squirm with firm, teasing strokes, making sure he held his eyeline as he smirked wickedly up at him, black wings shifting into existence and spreading to their full span around him where he knelt, golden eyes molten with lust now that he was finally moving on to the kind of toying he’d been waiting to do tonight.

The teasing didn’t carry on for all that long before he sank forward a little more, tongue licking a firm stripe upward as his fingers curled into a tight ring around the base, essentially preventing any hope of release until he let go. A low, appreciative murmur sounded in his throat as Eren dipped his head lower, taking him all the way down almost painfully slowly before he started moving a little faster, the up-down motion accompanied by strong sucks and barely-there hints of teeth. It wasn’t long before he got the reaction he wanted, golden eyes still fixed upwards, locked to Levi’s as he watched and heard the heated moans start to slip from the other’s mouth, one hand carding into his hair. This was another point of difference between the two halves of Eren because by this point the Nephilim was usually lost in his own little world, eyes dropping or screwing closed in pleasure at the sensation of having his mouth used and knowing he was able to get a reaction without having to see it. The demon had maintained the contact the whole time, however, wanting to see every little twitch and change of expression, wanting to see how long it took before it was Levi who had to drop their shared gaze, head tipping back as the moans being ripped from his throat got louder and more desperate.

He was still being a little on the cruel side, however, working Levi up more and more with his tongue and throat as he sucked and swallowed, the muscles inside his throat contracting as they worked overtime to drag Eren’s name from the lips of the squirming, almost desperate Nephilim in his grasp. The firm grip he’d kept up was ensuring that no matter how tightly he felt the muscles in Levi’s body being wound, how much he knew Levi might want to come, he couldn’t. And he wouldn’t, not till he started asking for it – but he wasn’t going to pause his ministrations to actually point this out to the Nephilim for a second, he was just going to wait and see how long it took for him to break by himself without him even having to prompt him.

“Eren, fuck…” It was about the only words he could think of as he felt himself hit the back of Eren’s throat, the other not even looking as though he cared, sucking particularly harder in response. 

And that was it, the action which sent his eyes scrunching closed, his toes curling, and the hand in Eren’s hair to still, to grip tighter. His other hand had rested on his shoulder, and its grip hardened, his head soon thrown back, eyes open towards the ceiling as his moans started to come out broken and lacking coherency. It took several minutes to think, badly think about that is, why Eren was still going without letting him reach any kind of happy ending, slowly torturing him with the buildup that just kept ongoing. Then it clicked, as his hand flexed again, his head falling forwards, eyes closed in utter bliss, though the blissed out look soon turned to frustration, annoyance. “God damn it Eren move your fucking hand.” It came out more commanding than he had intended, but there was no going back now, he’d said it, as he opened his eyes to look down into the smouldering lust-filled gold between his legs.

Not pausing in the slightest, Eren decided he'd pretty much had his fun as far as winding Levi up went, for now anyway, the tight grip releasing as his hand shifted to Levi's thigh instead, holding him a little more still as the Nephilim continued to twitch and shift in reaction to the movements of Eren's mouth. It didn't take that long to get what he wanted, able to watch Levi tense and then relax completely, pleasure taking over as the next hard suck brought the Nephilim over the edge that Eren had been preventing him from reaching.

He fell sideways slightly, his arms catching him and almost buckling under him as he shook with pleasure. He turned, bringing his legs on to the bed more, feeling a hand on his face soon after, pulling him into a slow kiss, that set his mind whirring, his hands moving to slide up and over Eren’s shoulders, pulling him close as he came down from near pure ecstasy. "Did you forget yet? Or do you want more?" He found himself pulled, fingers hooking through the ring on the collar until he was sat straddling Eren’s lap, a place he didn’t exactly expect to find himself, hands resting against the other's chest. He couldn’t pass up the chance.

Skilful hips rolled, causing friction against the both of them, hands sliding over Eren’s nipples as he did so, leaning forwards. “It still hurts,” Being where he was, straddling the others hips sparked something in his brain, urging him on as he rolled his hips again, wanting to dish out some of the teasings he’d been receiving. Despite being rather breathless and his breathing still heavy and his mind still rather fogged, the muscle memory did it all for him, he just couldn’t help himself. As he rolled them the second time he couldn’t suppress the twitch of his eyes as the bottom of his back was caught with the action, Levi not letting it roll his torso to save himself a groan of pain. He felt Eren pull him down via the steel ring, their lips meeting briefly before he pushed against his throat with the same hand, the fingers not letting go of the collar, “you said you’d make me forget…” His words were small against Eren’s lips, eyes half-lidded as he looked down between them, trying to look to the plump red lips he knew his own were mere centimetres away. He moved his nose slightly, moving against Eren’s a fraction.

The rolls of Levi's hips against his own brought a quiet moan from his throat unbidden, although he wasn't going to attempt to hide his reactions much. He wanted Levi to know just how much he was able to affect him in turn so that the Nephilim didn't think this was all just one-sided.

"I did." he replied affectionately, smirking again. "And I might be a lot of bad things, but may it never be said that I go back on my word." Almost as soon as he'd finished speaking he leant forwards again, closing the gap between their lips to resume the slow, heated kissing.

It wasn't that long before he shifted a little to the side, a familiar ring and a small remote tucked between his fingers.

"It will be interesting to see if I can make  _ you _ blackout, too." the words were barely above a playful whisper, accompanied by another mark being sucked into the pale skin of Levi's neck just below the collar. He knew he probably couldn't, not right now, but it was a challenge he was perfectly happy to set himself and something he was perfectly happy to make sure Levi thought about.

Thinking that the Nephilim had been given enough time to get his breath back if he was going to have the wherewithal to start teasing back, he wasted very little time switching his attention straight back down, reciprocating the teasing of Levi's hips with an occasional little circular grind worked in until he could feel Levi's breathing rate kicking up again, his tongue already running against his bottom lip to tease for entrance to his mouth. A particularly harsh grind upward loosed a moan, and Eren took the initiative, deepening the kiss almost at once before he had enough time to recover himself, the stroke and slide of his tongue possessive and forceful enough to take the Nephilim's breath away.

He made sure Levi had more or less had his attention stolen before he slid the ring into place and went for the remote, prodding at it until the vibrations were up to halfway. The reaction was instant, a loud moan hitting the air as the sheer pleasure flooding Levi's system caused his head to tip back again, his whole body jolting in Eren's lap as his arms flew up across the demon's shoulders to brace himself again while he shuddered. Hands clenched against Eren's skin and his toes curled as he twitched his hips experimentally, trying to adjust and pace himself through the vibrations. The movement was a mistake and only drew out another moan causing Eren to chuckle as he watched it happen, the hand not holding the remote setting around Levi's hip, thumb toying with the sensitive spot.

"Control yourself,  _ Corporal _ ." the commanding tone was back but carried none of the icy quality this time, just wanton playfulness. "As much as I like hearing you, it's more fun to watch you struggle to be silent for me."

The remote was left tucked under the pillow Eren was leant against so that he could easily grab it at a moments notice later on, and he went back to the bag to fetch a small, telltale bottle, slicking up his fingers with the gel within and tossing it back down on the nightstand with his free hand before he gripped Levi's hip again to keep him still, trusting the Nephilim to be able to support himself.

His eyes closed, his teeth clamping shut in his mouth. His hands rested on Eren's chest, keeping himself supported as Eren's mouth sealed across his own, soon feeling fingers behind him, pressing against his entrance. It wasn't long before he was losing his mind over the slick fingers hitting against his prostate over and over, not giving him any pause with how ruthless he was being. He was doing well, to say the least, no noises passing his lips. 

He couldn't help but think of the last time, of him using the same ring on the body under him and his hips rocked at the thought, eyes on Eren's lips as he hovered close. It was so eerily familiar, bar their position, that the ghost of a familiar smirk pulled on to his lips. He took a deep, though shaky breath as his eyes flicked upwards, hoping to steady his voice. "Have you not got at orig... Originality?" His voice was almost steady, breaking only once, his breath coming out shaky as his eyes closed afterwards, a look of bliss replacing the half smirk.

Eren laughed outright at that, his unoccupied hand curling back for the remote just to knock the vibrations up a level in order to reward Levi for his challenge. The resulting moan was barely swallowed down this time, and the fact only made the demon more amused. "Last time I checked, speaking classed as not being quiet, you know," he replied. "Is your control over yourself really that poor?" He deliberately bit down and sucked on Levi's bottom lip before pulling away again without following it up with the kiss that was probably expected, breathing his next sentence against the other's mouth as his fingers continued their ceaseless grinding against Levi's prostate.

"And besides, I hear that payback is a bitch."

His words were a low, amused hiss as he pulled his hands away completely, content to watch Levi squirm at the sensation of being left empty and wanting again as he headed back for the bag, a quick tap to Levi's thighs prompted him to move. Levi collapsed forwards as he bit his lip to stop the moan that tried to escape as the vibration being set to full. His vision swam as Eren searched the bag, grey eyes half on it, half not focusing. He didn’t even realize that his arms were bound, wrists behind his head until they were already done. He tugged experimentally to try and take his mind off the sensation at his crotch, the vibrations racking through him, not being able to release in the slightest. His legs were next, his calves being bound to his thighs, not able to move in the slightest, other than a small movement if he tensed up. His wings followed quickly after, and he must admit, he was quite impressed with how easily the demon did it without much movement. The last new item was a leash on the front of his collar, being kept still by the firm grip that was applied by Eren’s hand as he moved back to where he’d been under him.

Levi knew if he moved he wouldn’t be in any state to keep quiet, and he was struggling with that now, let alone if he flexed or twitched, his body was already starting to shake slightly. "I think  _ this _ looks a lot more like payback, personally.." he added, mocking a contemplative tone as he nuzzled Levi's neck. "Got anything clever to say now, pet?" He really didn’t, if he did he wouldn’t be able to get it out without a moan taking over the words anyway. He thought he’d lose it when the hips under him started grinding upwards into him. His eyes rolled at the sensation, wishing beyond reason that Eren would just tilt his hips that small amount and take him there and then.

He felt the hands move upwards, still holding him in place so he didn’t fall, over the expanse of his sides, his stomach, pressing idly at the weak spots until he found the particularly sensitive one just under his ribs, pressing firmly, causing Levi jerk to the left, his whole body having a knock on effect.

His hips jerked causing friction against Eren, his back tightened making the marks pull, sending a jolt of pain through his body and mingling with the pleasure that the jerk sent through the domino effect. His wings were last, both feathered appendages pulling at the bonds, and finally, the moan that ripped from Levi’s mouth was the loudest yet, “Oh god, E-Eren…” The other hadn’t rightly touched him enough to warrant his name, but was the root cause, after all. “Eren.” He breathed it out as he panted, his body adopting a slight shaking, the tops of his wings quivering with the action. His eyes were closed, his head thrown back against his forearms, his chest pushing out, his wings not moving, just moving along with his back, still shaking.

Eren watched the whole thing in amused, lustful silence, head tilted slightly to the side as he took in the shaking, perfect body completely filling his vision. All he knew right now was the tormented Nephilim trapped above him by the ropes, and he was pretty certain that right now Levi's whole world began and ended with him, too.

Which was exactly as it should be.

"See, I made you forget everything, didn't I?" he asked, not expecting any logical response because Levi was clearly too far gone by this point, trapped between the vibrations and an entirely  _ not _ metaphorical hard place. "Everything but me."

By now his words were a possessive growl and mostly to himself as he rolled his hips upward again, reaching over to tug purposefully at the ropes around Levi's wings, a pleased hum escaping him again as the strong tug dragged a desperate scream of his name from Levi's throat, his whole body jolting again against the small, knock-on waves of pleasure ripped through it.

"E-Eren.. Please.."

Eren was quick to nod, their mouths colliding again in a hot, frantic meshing of tongues and teeth as he went for the remote one final time, turning the vibrations off and pulling the ring off, swallowing the resultant higher pitched moan as the single border between Levi and his second orgasm of the night was suddenly removed and he felt the Nephilim sink slightly forwards against him, body a jumbled, neverending mess of pain and pleasure as Eren moved one hand to his shoulder to make sure he didn't pull too much on his wings with the action. He owed him that much, at least, given what his next movement was.

"Okay."

After spending a minute or two making sure he'd got the condom on that he'd snagged from the bag along with the ropes the hand still on Levi's hip preventing him from the risk of falling over pressed sharply downward, the stretch and slight burn of being filled completely while still trembling all over a whole new level of intensity for the Nephilim. The sensation was the first time the golden eyes left Levi's lust-clouded grey ones since their play had started in earnest, more or less, as Eren's head tipped back and the contact between their mouths broke, pleasured tingles shooting through his body at the tight heat enveloping him as he carried on bucking upwards in slow, measured strokes, the hand that had been on Levi's shoulder pulling the chain leash completely taught to ensure he couldn't move and was forced to take every single, powerful thrust Eren made until they both came apart with nothing but broken versions of each other's names hitting the heated air between them.

Although his whole body was completely lax with the force of his climax Eren made sure he untied the ropes around Levi's wings and limbs with unsteady fingers, allowing the completely spent Nephilim to fall forward unto him a panting, sticky, quivering mess. After a moment or two, Eren was able to lift his arms again, looping one carefully over the top of Levi's shoulders to avoid the red welts he'd left as he pressed a kiss to his forehead, his other hand lightly stroking his arm where the ropes had left faint red lines.

"Better now?" he asked, his own voice noticeably breathy and a lot weaker this time, the demon as tired as Levi was after that level of exertion.

Levi hummed slightly, eyes closed as he nodded against Eren’s torso, completely spent and feeling thoroughly exhausted. 

“Thank you.” It was like the roles had been switched completely, Levi taking on Eren’s habit of thanking the other after such activities.   
“You don’t need to thank me.” It was like every conversation they’d had afterwards, echoed back to him, but at the minute, Levi honestly didn’t care, his mind full of the demon he was currently using to lounge across. “Come on, move.”  
“Don’t want to.”   
“Don’t make me, I’ll do it.” Levi hesitated a minute, before rolling off and on to his side, body going still. He felt Eren shift off the bed, coming back a moment later, something damp being placed on his arm. He moved, eyes opening slowly as he wiped at himself, cleaning himself up and handing it back to Eren, who got rid of it in the bathroom. He soon came back and untangling him from the chain as Levi’s wings disappeared from view. He felt the chain pull under his chest as the demon extracted it, and was soon pulling on it, prompting him to move, and Levi happily moved back towards him, feeling fabric placed on his arm. He found it was underwear, pulling it on, seeing Eren having done the same. The covers were soon pulled up and around them, Levi shoving them back down thanks to his back, leaving it around his waist as he snuggled into Eren’s side, quite content.

His body was quick to go heavy, mumbling something incoherent under his breath which sounded vaguely like ‘please don’t leave,’ as his mind faded into the darkness, the aura a constant reminder that Eren was still there as his mind shut off and he drifted into blissful sleep.


	13. Chapter 13

Levi woke the next morning rather early, the clock on Eren’s bedside table reading 07:18 AM. He sighed, shifting against Eren, jostling him slightly. He felt the other shift, the arm around his shoulders moving, before going oddly still. “Mornin’.” His voice was quiet, fully expecting the demon after last night’s antics, so when he got no response, he shifted, propping himself up on an elbow to look at Eren, seeing startling green eyes staring back at him. Panic crossed his own face, Eren moving to sit up as his eyes started looking around Levi, at his room. 

“Where... Why… Why am I here…?”  
“Eren…”

“Why are you wearing that?!” Green eyes had gone straight to the collar once he’d looked at him long enough, Levi seeing fingers move towards him, ending up on the side of his neck, Levi’s free hand coming out to take hold of the other's wrist, but the demon had beat him to it. The familiar, oddly comforting weight was back at the back of his mind. “Not today, Nephie, not today.” He swallowed, slowly letting go of Eren’s wrist as the golden gaze focused on his neck, seeing the hand hadn’t got to the back, the collar still securely in place. Levi’s gaze softened slightly, relaxing considerably as he realized the Nephilim didn’t exactly know that he’d moved in, that he was back hunting with him, that they were sort of back together now. He was rather grateful for the demon taking over, relaxing in his presence more than he rightly should have and dropping back to the bed, lying on his side, wincing a little as his back was pulled in the action, the marks still stark against his pale skin. Given his pillow was upright, he couldn’t exactly go back to lying against him, so he waited, seeing if the other was getting up, or if he was going back to sleeping next to him, or at least letting him go back to sleep for an hour or so. He did want to go outside today, but he’d soon find out if he could, planning to ask the other at some point this morning.

Did he need permission to leave his own apartment? The thought had barely crossed his mind, not thinking about it until he’d said it. Given the way Eren had moved in, it made him pause to wonder, but the other had been incredibly good to him, looking after him and making sure he was alright, stressing about the feelings of love he felt towards him. He only wanted him to be happy and safe, so he was sure he wouldn’t have a problem with it.

"We can stay here some more if you like. I hope that didn't bother you too much. I can't really stop it from happening.."  
"No... It's fine. I just..." His eyes looked to the ceiling as a sigh passed his lips. "I just don't want to cause him any more pain, seeing me does that." He blinked up at the ceiling, not wanting to cause anyone pain or distress ever again. It wasn't something he was willing to do. He didn't want that adding to his already overloaded, guilty conscience. "Eren..." He heard him hun at lightly in acknowledgement. "Are... Am..." He didn't rightly know how to phrase it properly, didn't know whether he should be asking or not, but he felt like he should, so the other knew where he was. After how he'd reacted to the hunt that went far more wrong than needed, and everything else to betray his trust, he couldn't not think this way. "I was planning on going to HQ today. Is... Is that ok?" He looked up to the ceiling still, eyes not deviating from that one spot near the light, body somewhat relaxed, but his mind tense and awaiting the response.

"It's fine, you don't have to ask. It's not like you're going to risk getting hurt at HQ. The only one of us who has anything to worry about going there is me." His eyes looked to the other as a sigh passed his lips, them both soon sharing a quick kiss before Eren moved to sit upright. "Alright, lets go get some breakfast." He wasn't particularly hungry, given the time, but he nodded regardless, moving to stand, though slower than Eren did as he saw the marks littering the front of his body. He dreaded to think what his back looked like. He saw Eren go for clothes, Levi doing the same, rummaging through his wardrobe until he found the soft, pullover top he was looking for. It was all black, had a wide neck and the sleeves were a little too long, ending at his knuckles. It was the comfiest top he owned, comfy light grey jeans following the top, Eren having already left the room by this point. He put socks on, wanting to let his back heal a bit more before showering, not trusting the water enough against his tender skin right now. 

Levi padded slowly towards the kitchen where he could hear a pan sizzling, the smell of bacon hitting his nose. Now he smelt the food, his stomach gave a growl, his arm loosely holding himself around the stomach as it did so, soon coming to a stop next to Eren. "Is there anything I can help with??" 

“Nah, take it easy.” He fixed them both a drink and was soon sitting down at the small breakfast bar built into the countertop to wait for Eren to finish.

He began to rather look forward to HQ now as he picked at his toastie, fully intending to take full advantage of their vast database. He wanted to find a way out of this for Eren. He probably couldn't get out of this himself and no one believed him in the slightest about what was happening, so he needed to at least let Eren know, to try and get him to fight, to see if this kind of situation, in regards to Eren's condition, had happened before.

"Let me know when you get back, kay? I'm going to head back to sleep for a while. Rough night, and all." He watched him down his juice, clear his plate away and was soon walking around to him, leaving a kiss on his forehead as he swallowed the small mouthful. He watched him leave, finishing off the toastie slowly and his fruit juice along with it. It wasn't long before he was washing everything Eren and himself had used, and soon pulling his boots on. He left without a jacket, heading on to the balcony and climbing up onto the railings, pushing himself up and springing into the air, his wings appearing as the wind whipped past him. 

* * *

The further he got away from the apartment, the lighter he felt. The weight at the back of his mind easing off and lifting, completely gone by the time he was dropping himself onto the roof of the building at around 9:15 AM. He headed downwards, heading through the halls until he came to a few floors down, Hanji walking towards him, coffee in hand. He froze, the woman doing the same at the end of the hallway. "Levi..." Her voice carried, said Nephilim looking like a deer caught in headlights as a head rested against the door frame he came through. 

"Good morning, Hanji." His voice was soft, the woman coming towards him, Levi's feet dragging him the short distance, fully intending to walk straight past her, but a hand on his elbow as he attempted that, stopping him, and he winced slightly, the action pulling at his back.   
"Your neck..."  
"What about it?" Grey eyes were at the end of the hallway, his current destination. He didn't want this conversation. He really, _really_ didn't.   
"You've... That's the last thing I expected."  
"I did as you ordered, Hanji. I gave him everything he wanted. This was one of his conditions."  
"I didn't..."  
"Didn't expect me to go through with it?"  
"Well no... Actually..."  
"Oh ye of little faith." He started to move again, stopping when prompted.   
"Levi... You don't seem... Is everything alright?" Would she really believe him if she said no? She'd not believed him so far, why would she now? "You're back together, now?"  
"In every sense of the word." He started to move again, Hanji let him go this time and he sighed as he vanished from sight. 

  
He was soon on the research floor halfway down, there were a few people dotted around but he managed to tuck himself away in a secluded corner to the far side of an empty room, behind several bookshelves. He wished he'd stopped to get coffee, or something at least before he grabbed a spare laptop and started hunting through the shelves after setting it up and on to charge. 

Levi didn't even know where to begin. He didn't know where to start looking. So he grabbed as many books as he could carry, them all being heavy and leather-bound, Levi wincing as he dropped them loudly on to the tabletop next to the laptop. It pulled his back and he had to take a moment to stop and breathe. It had taken him a few hours, to find any book that he wanted, clearly not used to this floor in the slightest. This was something he'd make someone else do, he never touched researching anything if he could help it. And by lunchtime, there was a pair of eyes on him, unbeknownst to him, watching every pained movement and saddened expression without his knowledge. The fact that Levi didn't notice him, didn't notice him watching, threw up all kinds of red flags to him. 

He looked like he thought he was safe, but on edge at the same time, tired and sad. The collar around his neck which he was idly fiddling with, clearly not realising his fingers threaded through the steel ring hanging in the front as he read the screen of the laptop, causing a frown to set over his face. He soon left, heading down a few floors, to get a tray laden with a peace offering, go make this meeting go just that little bit smoother. The other had clearly been in discomfort, so he stopped by the medical wing of the building, it being small in comparison to the hospital floor, just housing somewhere for the medical staff to have office space, really. But they had supplies and that was shoved into his jacket pocket. He was walking towards the other carefully now, Levi not even looking up from where he was sat, a sad frown on his face as he sat straight-backed in the chair, not letting his backrest against the backrest of the comfy chair. "Lance Corporal?" He looked up, baulking at the sight of the person coming offering sustenance. 

"Kirstein..."  
"Can I join you? I noticed you didn't have lunch yet, and it's almost 1."  
"Oh, of course... Yeah..."

They ate in relative silence, Levi picking at the pasta that Jean had brought him, though he had downed the drink fast enough that the taller Nephilim slid his own bottle across the table, Levi almost taking it but hesitating. “Take it, honestly.” He looked at it, hand curling around the bottle carefully, pulling it towards him, other hand coming up to twist the cap off.  
“Thanks.”   
“You’re welcome.” It was hard to watch, the other so unsure of himself. It wasn’t right, that he hesitated at something as small as him offering a bottle of water or food, food which he noted he had barely touched, while Jean himself had finished 15 minutes ago. His eyes strayed to Levi’s neck, seeing the faded marks against his neck, the collar, it making him frown slightly. “So you and Eren…”  
“Me and Eren… What?” His eyes went to the fork currently spearing pasta on to the metal prongs.  
“You guys made up and everything?”  
“You could say that yeah… Thanks, for helping him bring his things over.” Jean blinked a few times, pausing as he sat back in his chair.   
“You’re welcome… yeah… but you didn’t seem all that on board with it.”  
“I was tired, I wasn’t feeling well, I didn’t remember the conversation all that clearly. I do now.” He ate some of the pasta, slowly sliding the fork from his mouth, the metal heading back into the bowl.   
  
“So everything’s alright with you two?”  
“I gave him what he wanted. I was told to get on my knees and beg and that’s exactly what happened. I came back to my senses.” It was a lie and Jean obviously saw thought it.   
“And that’s how the collar happened did it?” He nodded, stretching his neck a fraction feeling the leather stay exactly where it had been placed, it snug around his neck. “Because the Lance Corporal Rivaille that I know, wouldn’t allow such a thing to be put around his neck.” He shifted uncomfortably, wincing a little at the pain that shot through his back. Even though he complained about the aftercare he didn’t half want it right now, and that was something that was different now. The demon obviously didn’t care for it. He was Nephilim, it’d heal eventually, was probably the thought that went through the demonic mind. He saw Jean move, Levi glancing up, watching as he rounded the table. “So everything’s fine? You’re ok, and he’s ok…”  
“Yes, what are you doing?” Levi twisted in his chair, feeling pain shoot up his back.   
“I know you’re in pain somewhere.”   
“I’m not, I’m fine. Back the fuck off.” Jean paused for a second, then carried on the advance, moving so that Levi’s back hit the wall he was sitting next to, his hands either side of his head.

The groan that passed his lips made his eyes close, his body tense up, hands lifting up to take hold of the front of Jean’s shirt, pulling himself away from the wall, not even thinking twice about the position it landed them in. Jean pulled back instinctively, Levi letting go once he was safely dragged from the wall. “Now I know everything ain't alright.”   
“Jean, I’m fine.”   
“Shirt. Off. Now.”   
“Like hell I’m taking orders from you.” He moved to stand, rounding the chair until Jean was pressing a hand gently to his chest, causing him to stop. “Get your hand… off me.”   
“Not a chance. You know I can help.”   
“Why do you even _want_ to help me? After everything I’ve put you through, put Bodt through, put Arlett and Eren through. Why would you even do any of this?” His hand gestured to the food on the table, the food of which he now had no intention of even trying to finish to keep up appearances.   
“I have my reasons. Just accept the fact I want to help.”  
“No.”   
“Don’t make me force you, Corporal.”   
  


The change was almost instantaneous. He froze, his eyes flickering back and forth up to Jean’s, seeing the determined expression there, along with the half command and his title. His brain couldn’t handle it. The internal struggle clearly showed on his face and his hands twitched underneath the sleeves that went to his knuckles. “Jean… I...”  
“ _Let me help you._ ” Jean didn’t move and soon enough, Levi was looking towards his chest, hands crossing and grabbing the hem of his top, pulling up and over carefully, doing his best not to snag any of the raised marks on his back. He turned, sitting down on the chair again, looking away pointedly as Jean assessed his back. “Levi…” He could count at least 14 marks as his eyes scanned over the others back. He couldn’t understand why Eren would mark him so badly. “Why…”  
“I deserved it, can we just move on. If you want to help, _help_. Otherwise, I’m going.” Jean nodded to himself, pulling the supplies out of his pockets, placing them on to the table. 

He pulled the chair close, so the edges were touching and sat with it, moving Levi slightly so he was almost between his legs. While Levi was grateful for this, because his back was currently causing him a lot of grief, he didn’t want to even think about what would happen when he got home. His eyes closed as he heard the cap click as Jean opened a bottle. “This… might sting.” Levi nodded slightly, hands bracing against his knees. Cold hands, thanks to the gel, pressed against the small of his back and he tensed up considerably. “Sorry…” 

“It’s fine…” the hands massaged somewhat expertly, making Levi shiver as Jean gave attention to each and every mark, covering the worse ones with gauze pads carefully to allow them to heal a little better without getting caught on his shirt and able to keep the balm on them. “Feels like you’ve done this before Kirs-neigh. Seems well practiced.”  
“I swear to god, Levi, don’t make this more awkward than it is.” But truth be told, it was the most Levi had seemed like himself since he’d sat down with him and it was the small ray of sunshine amidst the darkness that seemed to surround the other now. As Jean got to the point on his back where the base of his wings were, having started from the bottom and working his way up, Levi couldn’t help the half-strangled moan that escaped his lips, Jean pulling back completely as if burned. 

“I’m sorry… my wings…”  
“Yeah… Sorry I should have warned you.” Man this guy really was as sensitive as Eren had always claimed him to be, he’d always thought he was exaggerating. He’d barely even gone near to where he knew the base was and he’d felt the shiver shoot up and down Levi’s spine. “Just a…. I’ve got to ask…” He hesitated, his hands going back to Levi’s back, quick to work on the ones at the base and moving upwards quickly. “Are… Are your wings… are they ok?” Levi nodded, hands gripping his knees.

“He didn’t touch my wings.”   
“I can’t believe you think you deserved this. I can’t believe he didn’t look after these after. Eren always told Marco he’d wait till you were sleeping. Marco he…” Jean coughed, clearing his throat. “I’m erm… like you, apparently. Couldn’t give a crap for this stuff. He has trouble getting me to agree to let him do it.” 

“Seems redundant, doesn’t it?” His voice was low, breathy as Jean worked a particularly painful mark under his left shoulder blade. “Given they’ll heal quicker anyway. Clearly we both fell for the caring saps of the 104th.” Jean smiled at that, not thinking he’d ever get such a genuine conversation out of the leader sitting in front of him, letting him _help_ him with something that his boyfriend should have already done. They’d entered new levels of awkwardness, but at the minute and there was no going back from it and the fact Levi was actually letting him in, and how it had happened, well, he wouldn’t be forgetting that anytime soon.

A few more minutes ticked by in silence, Levi having to clamp his mouth shut and think of something else entirely, his mind wandering to Eren and how he was back home. He didn’t know how he was going to explain this, he just didn’t know. He didn’t know how the other was going to react either. Hell, after the reaction he’d got from Erwin laying a hand on him, Petra too, in two different spectrums of the scale, he was sure the reaction wasn’t going to be a good one. He wasn’t looking forward to going home in the slightest “There, done.” Jean wiped his hands, packing away the things back into his pockets, intending to actually take them with him now he’d opened everything. He didn’t think Marco would believe this when he got back, even if he took Levi with him and the white winged Nephilim told him himself. “Be careful with it.” He leant round Levi, handing him his shirt back, since the other had dropped it closer to the edge of the table, and he was sitting in his way now. He watched him pull it back over his head, Jean’s fingers coming out to help, to ease the back over the pads he’d put in place. “I’ll be having words with that idiot when I see him about this. Either me or Ma-“

“No.” The tone was firm, it cutting across the end of Jean’s sentence. He spun back in his chair slowly, careful not to jostle himself. “No. I.. I’ll talk to him. You don’t need to, Jean, honestly it’s fine. He probably just forgot or was too tired during the night while I was asleep. He… he wasn’t awake when I left.” The lie was easy to tell, since the Eren Jean was speaking of hadn’t been awake when he left… technically. 

“Levi, I can’t not rip him a new one for this. Don’t care who you are, it’s unacceptable”   
“Please.” His tone was softer now and it made the younger Nephilim’s eyes widen slightly. “Just, don’t. Please.” As grey stared back at him, it compelled him to nod, watching as Levi moved, standing up and heading around him, leaving everything where it was. “Thanks, for the food.. I’m sorry, I’ve got to go.” He was quick to leave the room, heading straight up to the roof, leaving his laptop, books and half-eaten food with Jean, who actually didn’t mind cleaning up after him this time, it helped to clear his mind somewhat, a lot going on inside his mind.

He flew home, mind frantic as he did, dropping down across the street, hiding his wings and taking a breath. Flying annoyed his back, pulling at his muscles, ultimately pulling at work Jean had done. He moved slowly up his building, unlocking the door and heading in, heading upstairs and through his front door, closing it quietly, but Eren heard it regardless as he moved towards the living room. "Welcome back. Did you have a productive morning?" He aura settled back into his kind, tucked away and it getting comfy. 

"Yeah... Productive. HQ was somewhat empty, today..." He took his shoes off, placing them by the door, trying not to bend too much, heading over to the kitchen to grab himself a drink, to try and calm his nerves down. 

He knew something was going to happen. Eren was going to find out. The other was in his head, he knew full well he could get in, he wasn't going to be able to not tell him which was making him anxious.  
"I can tell you're on edge, Levi." The tone of Eren's voice dropping made him freeze as he leant back against the counter carefully, his eyes on the juice in his glass, it paused near his lips. "Care to share?"

"It's nothing, really. I'm sorry to worry you. I am. It's nothing." He took a drink from the glass, his fingers against the rim resting the bottom against his forearm, which was wrapped around his stomach. "Just.. carry on with your show. I'm fine." The smoke that entered his vision as he looked to Eren made his mind whirl. It was the first time that he was seeing him in such a form and it made the last of the colour drain from his face. He was turned, arms against the counter next to him, glass out his hand. He effectively trapped him so he was leaning against the counter. He was trapped within the gaze, the cold unyielding gaze of golden eyes as he heard Eren place his glass on the counter.

"What exactly is it that you think I'm going to do to you, pet? Did I go too far last night? Why is it suddenly okay to try and _lie_ to me?!" The tone made him flinch.  
"I-I'm not lying to you. I'm fine." He swallowed, licking his lips in a quick movement, eyes darting between Eren's.

All he received in return was an unamused hum of accent from the demon before he was forced back into the counter a little more as Eren pressed his hips forward to shove him gently against the surface. The pained reaction wasn't half as outward as it should have been given the gel already having done wonders to the marks under the patches, Jean having rubbed the rest into his skin so it didn't coat his top. A pained gasp left his lips, but nowhere near what it should be without the aftercare he shouldn't have received. He felt the white hot possessiveness that shot through the demon before him, Eren clearly pushing it into his mind.

"And I thought I could trust you." Levi averted his gaze, trying to look away as his head began to follow, Eren's fingers gripping under his chin to prevent the action. He couldn't help the look of fear that crossed his face, not being able to hide it as his arm unfolded. "Who touched you?!"  
"W-What??" The grip increased, Levi trying to shrink away from the grip, Eren not letting him in the slightest. He didn't answer, not wanting to drop Jean in it, not wanting him to get hurt because of his stupidity. He didn't want to add another to the growing list, especially when Jean pretty much wasn't on it any more.   
"Answer me!" He felt the aura push at his mind and his breathing hitched, his mouth moving without his say so.  
"Kir-stein... He.. He.. He h-helped." His words seemed forced as if he wanted to obey the command, and the command pushed at his mind, but his body didn't want to.

"Jean, eh? Should have known. I thought you'd learned your lesson with Erwin. Are you really that starved for attention that you have to whore yourself out to whoever passes by?" He stayed still, not wanting to make the situation any worse by moving away or flinching, willing himself to be as still as he could as his shirt was lifted. "If you'd just asked, told me you needed it, I would have done that myself and we wouldn't even be forced to have this conversation."

Really? Had it really been that easy? He was far too used to just being given the aftercare, he didn't think he'd had to ask. But that hadn't happened and he hadn't wanted to ask in fear that he wouldn't get given it anyway, since the marks were a punishment, he thought the pain was as well. The leash was clipped back to his collar, Levi deflating slightly as he was pulled along after Eren like a dog. "Now I'm going to have to punish you again." The annoyance and dislike in Eren's voice made him deflate even more, that his actions were pushing the demon to do something he didn't want to do, didn't want to dish out. 

His feet entered his bedroom after and the collar was given a sharp tug, pulling him to Eren, the demon catching him in his arms, almost throwing him to the bed. The hand still holding the chain leash wrapped it around the demons knuckles. A look of fear crossed his face, not wanting to add to the marks on his back. "Please, don't..." His voice was small, quiet as Eren straddled him to keep him pinned with his body weight as tied the chain leash to the headboard, freeing up his grip.

"I'm not going to hurt you that way," he assured, knowing that Levi was expecting more marks to be added to the collection on his back. "Not while you haven't healed properly. Next time you make me do this I _will_ make you count, though, if that's what it takes for you to get the message."

He went straight back to the still open messenger bag on his side of the bed, pulling out the lengths of silky rope he'd stored away again and using them to tie Levi's wrists to either corner of the headboard, keeping them useless and separate from his body no matter how much he thrashed, testing them to make sure they weren't so tight as to pose any risk to Levi's circulatory system. Instead of being accompanied by gentle, distracting kisses and touches like they might have been the previous night, Eren stayed well away, still appearing annoyed.

One last trip to the bag and Eren produced a familiar strip of fabric that he'd instantly recognise as the one he'd used to blindfold his Nephilim half all that time ago. Weakly, he shook his head, trying to scoot backwards and out of reach, but there was only so far he could move.

"Eren.. please, _please_ don't do this. I'm sorry, really, I—”  
“—Are you? Or are you just sorry that you got _caught?_ " he cut him off, leaning forwards to tie the fabric firmly into place, making the room go black to the Nephilim. "Stay still."

The demon moved backwards, cutting all physical contact completely as he settled back on the other side of the bed, out of Levi's range of detection. He remained completely silent and just watched, happy to give the bound Nephilim the illusion that he'd just been left there completely alone to see what would happen.

He tugged at the restraints on his wrists, hands curled into fists before relaxing as he couldn't sense the other, but could still feel the weight in his mind. Had he left the room? Had he just left him tied here? The thought made him bend his legs, his feet dragging against the covers and moving them slightly, toes curling into them for a second. "E-Eren..." His voice wasn't confident at all, not getting any response. He started to tug at the bonds again, if Eren wasn't here, he certainly wasn't going to stay still in the slightest. A weak noise sounded in his throat, not being able to break the bonds encircling his wrists, fingers wrapping around the silk ropes loosely, his brain running wild with thoughts that Eren had left him here and gone to do whatever in another room. "God damn it." He stopped tugging there, letting his head drop back on to the pillows, stretching his neck as he tested the tautness of the chain, his neck not being able to move all that much along with his wrists.

He started to overthink things, to let his mind run with the depressing thoughts running through his mind. It was his own fault that he’d been left here, that he’d been tied to the bed. He was being punished for not being trustworthy, for lying to the one person he shouldn’t ever be lying to. The demon didn’t want to do this to him, he regretted doing so. All he’d ever received was care and affection unless the demon half had had to punish him for something he’d done. Mainly hurt himself or the people around him. He needed to learn that it wasn’t acceptable, and this was the only way of getting through to him.

He started to pull on the restraints again, starting to become angry. Not with Eren, though, but with himself, that he’d let himself be so stupid as to not ask a simple question to Eren afterward. He groaned in pain as he pulled his back, his shoulder cracking softly as he rolled them after pulling harshly on one of the ropes. It was as if he was punishing himself in Eren’s absence. His legs were still bent, his knees together, his feet pointed inwards so that his calves were at an angle.

As Levi started to struggle again, Eren finally unwrapped himself and leant forwards, sliding his hands up Levi's thighs in a light touch that he knew would still the Nephilim instantly. He didn't want him to pull anything, and this would instantly get him to stop, instantly command his attention. And it did.

"My other half was back for a while this morning," he informed him calmly, sounding like he wasn't that angry anymore when really he was still more or less still infuriated. He had the perfect way to make Levi suffer in the messy scrawl on the paper tucked between his fingers, though. "Left you a letter. I figured you might like to hear it."  
"Yes." The word was low and cautious, as though Levi was trying to decide whether it was a setup or not. Sighing, he dropped his head, feeling Eren's fingers start to gently stroke against his thigh. _"Please."  
_ _  
"Levi, I’m sorry I had to leave this as a letter, I don’t know how much time I’ll actually stay conscious for before I black out again. So I might not get chance to say it. I’m scared, Levi. I’m scared of not being able to remember what I’ve done, what I’ve said, in case any of it has been directed at you. I’m scared that I’m hurting you more by staying around. I’m scared that what I said last night hurt us both beyond the point where we can fix this."_

It felt as if Eren was back, here with him, reading his own letter to him to make sure he heard it. He sounded so close to tears, Levi’s body relaxing against the bonds, against the mattress, his legs slipping so that they were flat against the mattress again.

_"I was angry, and I didn’t mean any of it. Please don’t hate me? Although if you do, I understand. I probably deserve it. I’m an absolute mess, I woke up this morning and couldn’t even remember if we’d had this conversation once already, because waking up beside you again was everything I wanted back in my life."_

It was like Eren was echoing his own thoughts, his own feelings. He didn’t hate him, wanting nothing more than to interrupt and tell him he didn’t, that he shouldn’t blame himself because it was all Levi’s fault, not Eren’s.

_“Although I didn’t say anything I have noticed how tired and thin and not yourself you seem, and I’m worried that I’ve missed something. Some opportunity to help you see what it is that I see when I look at you."_

He felt the tears start to form, getting instantly caught within the blindfold against his eyes. Eren had noticed, he’d noticed there was something wrong and hadn’t been able to say anything about it. The intake of breath, it shaky on the way in, made his fingers clench around the ropes they were holding, wanting nothing more than to be able to hug Eren, to make him feel ok. To make them _both_ feel alright.

_“I meant it when I said I loved you. You know I did, but I’m repeating it now because even if you’re only reading this by yourself I want you to know that it’s true. Even if I’m gone, it won’t ever stop being true."_

He hated this blindfold even more, again wanting nothing more than to rip it off. He wanted to look into what were clearly watery green eyes, eyes he _missed_ , with all his being.

_“I thought I’d be able to cope.. but it turned out not to work that way. And I don’t ever want you to live through that, so I’ll stay alive for you. I promise."_

He already was. He already was living through it, he remembered everything and he knew what Eren had been through. He thought he was going to be able to cope, to keep on surviving. But he wasn’t so sure anymore. He needed this in his life, he needed this kind of love and affection, and there was only one person that could give him that, and that was the male speaking to him, reading his letter. The pause gave him time to think, time to wonder why the demon had quite clearly let Eren through enough to do this, why hadn’t Eren asked what was happening? What was going on? Why was he blindfolded and tied to the bed?

_"I can forgive you for taking the collar off, you don’t know what it came to mean for me during those months, I realise that now I’ve had time to think. You still saw it as just another sign of ownership. You didn’t know it would hurt me more than anything else until you took it away and watched me fall apart again.”_

_He forgave him_. How?! How could he be forgiven for causing him so much pain?! The tears began to flow more freely, soaking into the blindfold, starting to leak out from under it, crawling down its edges to his ears.

_“It hasn’t changed anything, between us, Levi. I don’t understand what’s happening to me, but I’ll fight for us, and I’ll fight to my last to keep us together because you’ve shown me more about the world and myself than I could ever have learned on my own. And I hope I’ve been able to return the favour in my own way."_

He was glad Eren was going to fight, that he was going to keep on fighting for them. Levi was sure he had enough fight in him for both of them because he didn’t have the will to fight, to fight against what was happening.

 _“God, I hope I see you again. Never forget that for me, you are worth it. Never forget that you are all I ever want to come home to._ _I love you, Levi."_

His body was shaking slightly with the tears, trying not to let the sounds escape his mouth, even more so when he felt the kiss to his forehead, Eren snuggling closer. “Eternally yours, Eren.” He didn’t know what to say, what to think. Everything he thought was wrong, a lie, in the grand shape of things. Eren loved him, he could hear it in his voice, the shaking breath, the tears he knew were surely trying to fall as he held it together. Unlike he was, he couldn’t hold it back, a sob escaping his lips as his head tried to tilt, tried to rest atop Eren’s near his own, the leash not being allowing him to do so.

“Eren…”  
“Mmm?”  
“I am so sorry…” His voice was quiet, shaking considerably, breaking in odd places. “I don’t deserve your forgiveness… I don’t, but I’ll never stop trying to get it back. Ever.” The leash attached to the collar was unclipped, allowing him to tilt his head, finding Eren’s hair. He breathed in deeply, smelling the all too familiar scent that screamed _home_ .  
“Shuussh,”

“No.. I can’t..” he wasn’t good at this, Eren knew that all too well, feeling a hand touch his neck, stroke there gently, trying to soothe his tears. “I need you to know, I… I need to say it.” He was worth it, Eren had told him countless times he was worth it, and now he was listening. He was taking it in completely, telling _himself_ he was worth it, just as Eren was, as well. “I.. I l-love you.. I don’t ever want to lose you again…” His voice was quiet, barely controlled as he placed a kiss on the top of the males head, wishing beyond reason that he could see, that he could see him while he was saying this and knowing he was being heard. “I always want to come home to you. You’re… you’re my everything, E-Eren, _please_ , I n-need you to understand that.”

As the ropes fell away from around his wrists, he instantly rubbed at the spots where they'd been, his hands soon guided to his face, Eren's falling away from his own. He guessed it was to take the blindfold off in his own time. He took a deep breath, fingers hooking under the fabric and taking it off his face, wet eyes blinking against the light. Grey eyes searched out for green ones, and not getting what he was searching for, the golden gaze he'd got so used to, staring back at him, amusement shining through brightly. 

“Thank you. It must have been hard to say." The tone and manner of his voice clearly told him that it was the demon if the eyes hadn't been his first giveaway. He scrambled to sit up, pushing himself up and scooting away slightly. He was so convinced, so sure that it had been Eren reading, sat next to him telling him these things. He'd just confessed the one thing he'd been holding back... And it fell on the wrong ears. "Shame you still can't tell the difference when the lights are out.

Anger started to bubble up inside of him, fresh tears clinging to his eyes as he stared at Eren before him. "You... I can't... How _dare_ you?!" This had been the punishment that the demon had intended to give all along. It made him feel sick, wanting nothing more than to lash out at the man before him. His fists clenched tightly, and his right arm twitched.   
"Look, I wanted you to appreciate it in the form that it was intended to be read in. Thought it would be better if it sounded like it was coming from him."  
"Then just give _him back to me!"_ He pushed up onto his knees, his arm swinging and smoke-filled his vision, moving well away and out of Levi's range. The older Nephilim ended up following the action through, ending up leaning on his left arm, still on his knees. His eyes looked around the room, landing on Eren near the door. Shifting off the bed quickly, wondering why in gods fucking name there wasn't a gun close by. 

His old self was shining through, though tears were streaming down his face, his barriers were still down and he was shaking, fists clenched and rather unsteady on his feet. "You." He shook his head, hands coming up to press against his eyes, soon withdrawing them, not wanting his vision obstructed, voice raising to a shout. "Why can you not just give him back to me?!" His hands were quick to go to his bedside table, yanking the draw open in the hopes there was a firearm in there. There was and it was quick to be in his hand, cocked and aimed as he spun around.

"That's like asking me to die. Nothing on this earth _wants_ to die. Plus.. if I go, he goes, and do you really want that?" he replied, his previous anger completely calmed at seeing the toll this had taken on Levi. He'd been punished, alright.. but the demon could always go one further. "But look, I can do a magic trick."

He winked, pulling his hands up over his face. By the time his palms had moved clear again, the slitted golden eyes had been replaced with the bright, clear sea-green that had only ever been seen on the Nephilim before. The colour hit him square in the _soul_ , grey eyes widening slightly as he looked onwards, noting the fact that this picture was all wrong, the stance and the attitude not the Nephilim he’d come to know like the back of his hand. "Is this enough? Will you say you love me too, now?" His free arm hugged his stomach, taking a step backwards, head snapping towards the door, wanting nothing more than to scream out to whoever it was to turn around and run, to run and not look back. As Eren shifted out the room, he took another step back, then froze as smoke filled the space in front of him, where Eren had previously been standing. He lowered the gun, Eren soon shifting back closer to him, gun quick to be taken from his grip. "That's Jean knocking. If you don't want me to have to do anything too hasty, and I assure you I could to him right now, I suggest you keep quiet and out of the way. I'd hate to be the person who had to explain the lack of a body to Marco in a week or so. I'm more or less sure Petra will take any kind of blame for it quite easily." He didn’t want that job, he didn’t want _anyone_ to end up with that job.

The door closed behind him, leaving him alone in the room, feet taking him back against the corner of the room, sliding down it as the tears fell, not even caring about the shooting pain that came from his whelt ridden back connecting with the wall. He brought his knees against his chest, hands running over his face and into his hair, right-hand fisting around the strands as the tears fell quicker, a choked sob passing his lips as he tried to keep quiet, to not let himself be heard. He wanted to shout, to tell Jean to leave and not come back, to not get on Eren’s bad side any more than he already was without knowing it. The anger in his voice had made him shiver. If Eren could do that at the drop of a hat, how could he know who he was talking to anymore, how could he believe his own eyes? He was sure he was in the early stages of going insane, he didn't know what to think as he scrunched his eyes closed, his right elbow resting on his knees, fingers still in his hair. His left arm covered his face, trying to breathe at a normal rate, the action rather erratic and swallow, his body shaking as another pained sound passed his lips.

He didn’t know what to feel, anymore.

* * *

_ **Eren** _

  
  


Closing the bedroom door after him, he went straight over before Jean had a chance to knock again, pulling it open with a smile. Really, keeping his eyes green had been well-timed.

"Well howdy, _neigh_ bour, what brings you here?" he teased, unable to resist. He could tell from the black, square bag in his hands that Jean was here with Levi's laptop. Maybe he'd left it behind at HQ in a rush to come home. He probably regretted doing that now.

Jean looked on, unimpressed with the clear pun that was directed his way, grip increasing on the case in his hands. As much as he wanted to give some idle banter, he was here for a reason for a change, and for once that didn’t involve Eren. “The Lance Corporal left his laptop when we had lunch today. He rushed outta there like he was on fire. Thought I’d drop it off.” His eyes noted that Levi was clearly here, his phone with his keys just inside the door, his boots just a few feet away from him. His eyes looked back to Eren, holding the laptop out. “Came to make sure he was alright.”

"He's fine, Jean," he replied, knocking off the teasing, as the two-toned blond clearly wasn't in the mood judging from his words. "Has been since he got back. Thanks for returning this, though." He held up the laptop bag, looping the strap over his shoulder and stepping back into the flat.

Jean followed him in, and he allowed it, wondering if he couldn't do to Jean exactly what he'd done to Armin if these visits were going to be a regular occurrence. Jean knew Eren almost as well as Armin and Levi did, and was therefore definitely a threat. Had Jean been single, he could have probably distracted him a little more physically, given that he knew they had a history.. but Marco's existence scuppered that plan nicely, and he really didn't want to do anything to the freckled boy if he could help it. That would definitely make the wrong people suspicious.

He lay Levi's laptop bag carefully down on the table, leaving it zipped closed and turned his attention back to the TV, knocking the volume back up just in case Levi was making too much noise. It was a little too late though, Jean’s head directed away from the door to the bedroom, his hearing picking up something that definitely shouldn't belong to the leader he'd hunted with. It made him angry since there was no one else the noise could have belonged to, it was clear he was trying not to be heard, it sounded like his arms were covering his face. 

"Was there anything else you wanted?" he added, just barely probing at the teen's steadfast mental defences with his aura to try and find any easy vulnerabilities, any cracks he could use to slip past. Perhaps he'd have more luck if he got him drunk. "You look a bit pissed at something."  
"Do I?" Eren nodded, Jean moving his hand to run at the side of his head gently. "Eh, stressful day I suppose. Even more so when I found him in the research centre." Eren frowned minutely, Jean not missing it, "was something else though. How the _hell_ could you let him leave with his back in the state it was?? Do you realise how much pain he's in?" It probably wasn't his place to say a damn thing, but he couldn't not after the mess Levi's back had been when he'd helped soothe and patch it up.

Eren's frown deepened at the other teen's sheer cheek before winding himself back in. He couldn't risk anything now. Not when he was so close.. so he was going to have to bite his tongue and wait.

"I know.. I know, okay?!" he shot back. "Figures that it'd be the first time in years I _don't_ manage to get the drop on him while he's asleep that you happen to notice." He sighed, fists clenching at his sides as he dropped his gaze in an effort to look annoyed at himself. "Don't make me feel any worse than I already do, jesus.."

And that was another thing that was bothering him, now he came to think about it. Jean had mentioned the atmosphere at HQ being stressful, and he found himself wondering if Levi just wasn't eating much at home or if he plain wasn't eating anywhere. Which was a problem.

"Speaking of stress, did he eat properly? He won't eat much here and it's worrying me.." At least those words were honest enough, unlike the rest of the conversation.  
"I hate to say it, but not really, Eren." Jean replied, sufficiently distracted and thoroughly placated by the demon's show of guilt. "You two clearly still need to get your heads around this whole thing. Maybe I'd better leave you to it."

Eren nodded.

"Alright. See you later, Jean."  
"Tell Levi I stopped by, will you? I still need to thank him properly for putting up with my shit those few hunts we did.."  
"Will do, Seabiscuit," Eren replied, winking. "Close the door on your way out."

Jean was more than happy to - he had somewhere to go that definitely wasn't HQ. Something was beyond wrong with both Eren Jaeger and the whole atmosphere in the apartment, and if Armin hadn't noticed anything and Levi refused to talk, he could only think of one other person who would confirm or soothe his anxiety. The problem was going to be finding her.

Turning the TV off and tossing down the remote, Eren sighed, scrunching up his eyes for a moment or two and then blinking through his normal gold, slitted gaze again. Being able to do that was a clever trick, but it took a lot of energy and he couldn't sustain it for long. Not to mention he had no intention of blurring the lines that much for Levi. Just making him aware that he had the ability without having to actually use it was enough, he thought.

Sighing, he stretched languidly on the sofa before hopping back to his feet and softly returning to the bedroom, his black heart clenching at the picture of despair Levi made huddled up in the corner trying to keep himself quiet as he cried for the sanity it felt like he was feeling slip through his fingers.

"Hey. Jean's gone." his voice was low again, comforting now, as the aura danced across his skin and thrummed through Levi's body, calming him down and soothing the tears away. He knelt down just in front of the huddled Nephilim, laying the lightest of touches across the top of his knees. Levi’d already got used to the fact that the demon before him gave him care and affection. He’d looked after him, made sure he was alright. It wasn’t helping, that his mind was telling him to calm down, his body quite happy to follow the silent order. Grey eyes looked up slightly, his arms dropping from his face, his own arms hugging himself around his stomach. "Do you hate me now? Do you hate me for wanting to exist, wanting to share you?"

He didn’t know. He felt like he should hate the male before him and that he should be running for the hills. But, his body didn’t want him to. It was telling him something different entirely, and he couldn’t help his mind following suit. “I… no…” He swallowed after sniffling, his hands came up, the ends of his sleeves pulling across his eyes to wipe away the wetness from the tears. “I don’t… I just…” His eyes looked away from the gold, to Eren’s hand on his knees, his own fingers twitching. “I don’t hate you… just… I don’t want to hurt anymore…” His voice was quiet, somewhat reserved.  
“Then don’t upset us anymore… He… _I_ don’t like seeing you this way, Levi.” Truth be told, he didn’t like feeling like this either. He just wanted the feeling to stop.  
“I’m sorry. It won’t happen again… he wouldn’t take no for an answer.”   
“Shush, come on.” Eren stood, holding out a hand to him, offering him help to stand. He was outwardly patient as he waited for him to decide. He reached out a shaky hand, Eren moving to take hold of his hand, helping put him to his feet. Levi let himself be pulled into a hug once he was standing, forearms against Eren’s chest. The stronghold around him made his body relax, his arms slowly sliding up and around Eren’s neck.   
“Thank you…” He whispered the words into Eren’s neck as he pulled him down a little, Eren pulling him closer and up on to tiptoes. “It won’t happen again…”

"I know it won’t." He allowed himself to be guided, to be manoeuvred on to the bed. He looked down towards the envelope as it was pressed in to his hand, fingers curling into it, being so careful and gentle as if it were breakable "Here. Until you see him again." Lips soon pressed against his, the kisses slow and comforting, easing his mind further. His arms ended up wrapped around Eren's neck again, pulling him closer. Thankful that the other hadn't made him put any pressure on his back, he sighed happily, pushing up and crawling over him, standing up and opening the drawer of the bedside table on the side he normally slept on, placing the letter in like it held the secrets to the world. He shut the draw carefully, looking back to the bed to see the demon watching his actions. 

"Come on, we sleep too much. I'm sure there's some film or something we can watch."

* * *

They’d gone out, instead of staying in. The movie was a nice distraction, especially given the day he'd had. He felt exhausted, but being forced to eat the entirety of his meal had made him feel a little better if he were honest. As Eren's hand found his, their fingers entwining together, he looked down to them, before looking up to his face. "Home, then?” he nodded slightly, looking back in front of them as they walked down the street, the streetlights giving a soft glow as they walked hand in hand. 

"Sure.." He looked towards the pavement, twitching his shoulders slightly. His back still hurt slightly, Eren still taking on some of the pain from it as he'd said he was still doing during their meal, it having slipped somewhat and the teen having to take control of it again to help ease the discomfort. 

His mind had drifted to Jean a fair bit as the course of the night went on, but he pushed it aside every time the two-toned blond crept into his brain, wondering if he'd have shown himself when the Nephilim showed up earlier, things would have turned out differently. First, his mind went to the good turn out, that he and Jean would have left and he wouldn't be where he was, the other was slightly darker, of him being hurt and Jean being killed. He couldn't not see the second scenario and refused to think about it every time, focusing his mind back on the present and not what ifs and how's. "Home sounds good."

As fingers squeezed his hand, he was drawn from his thoughts, looking up to Eren to see a smile upon the teens face, making him smile in return, feeling the pain drain from his back considerably, to the point where it didn't hurt at all. He was pulled around a corner and finally, the apartment block came into view. "I’m glad you stayed." Eren led the way in, up the stairs and through his front door, the teen locking it behind them. "I’m also glad you didn’t push me into doing something I didn’t want to have to.”  
"I am sorry, for not coming to you.."  
"You didn't know. I shouldn't have got so annoyed."  
"I _should_ have known. You aren't a mind reader..." He began to take off his scarf carefully, fingers brushing against the collar around his neck as he did so.   
"Well.. whatever. You're not hurting now, right?"  
"No... No, I'm not." He pulled his scarf off completely over his head, half folding the looped material within his hands. "Thank you..." 

He looked down at the fabric, before turning to move towards the table, placing it down and starting to take off his jacket, now marvelling in the fact that it didn't hurt to do such an action like it had to put his jacket and scarf on, earlier. "It means a lot that you help take the pain... It can't be comfortable for you."

Eren nodded, smiling a little despite the fact that he could feel every single thin line of pain he'd inflicted on Levi the previous night wailing under each movement, being a lot slower in taking his own jacket off and hanging it up than he had been before as he tried to ignore it. He hadn't really stopped Levi's body hurting, per se, more like convinced his mind to forward him the messages from his pain receptors through the faint presence he had in the older Nephilim's mind so that he felt what Levi should have been feeling instead. But that was specifics that Levi didn't need to know. It certainly sounded a lot less romantic.

His wings were out almost as soon as they got into the apartment and out of public view because he liked having them there. They were something he'd never have had without being lucky enough to have been thrust into existence from the Nephilim's consciousness like he had, and he intended to enjoy having them for exactly that reason. Other demons didn't have them and that made him special. Really it was what made it so easy to kill his own kind to defend Levi aside from his anger. They were worth less than him because they would never have _this_.

Watching Levi set his things down, his gaze lingered on the collar at his throat. He'd thought it might take a bit more convincing to get him to wear it, but it hadn't. Part of him wondered why, but perhaps it was because of something his other half said or did while he was around. The split between them was becoming more and more pronounced the longer he stayed topside and soon he wouldn't have much access to the Nephilim's consciousness at all. It worried him a little, but he'd get past it somehow. He was in. That was what mattered.

Comforted by the thought, he crossed the room and wrapped his arms around Levi's waist, his movements slow and careful just in case he was feeling skittish and kissed his temple, his wings moving around his shoulders to brush against Levi's sides to keep him a little warmer because the apartment felt cold (at least to him) now that he'd taken his jacket off.

"If it didn't, I wouldn't do it," he replied, clearly a lot happier for having heard Levi's words. "It doesn't hurt that much. Do you want to sleep?" Grey eyes were quick to land on black wings as they moved around his sides, rather grateful for the warmth.   
"I could use a shower, first, before we go to sleep. I'll be quick."  
"Okay. I'll try not to get too comfy in your absence."  
"I could actually use your help.."  
"Oh? Well, that works too."  
"No!" He looked away from the wing there, to his scarf on the table, knowing he'd answered that far too quickly, taking a small breath as he continued on. "No... I mean... I still have... my torso is still wrapped up from earlier." He didn't particularly want to remind Eren of Jean covering his back in gauze and cream to soothe the cuts and marks littering his back.   
"Oh.. right. I forgot. Sure, I'll come help strip you off."

He pulled away there, removing his jacket as Eren's arms slid from around him, moving towards the bedroom and placing it on the bed carefully, soon pulling his shirt off as Eren followed him into the room.

He sat down on the edge of the bed, Eren slotting behind him, legs either side of his hips as he did so, fingers soon on his back. Levi closed his eyes at the sensation, hands on his thighs as fingers began to work at removing all the gauze strips stuck to Levi’s back. 

Eren made quick work of getting rid of them, unable to resist the temptation to run his fingers appreciatively over the red lines left behind while he knew it wasn’t going to hurt Levi to do it. All the bandages ended up in a small heap to one side and he knew there were fresh ones in the drawer, but Levi had to shower first. 

The gentle touches were all that was required to calm his annoyance as if the action had reclaimed whatever part of Levi he’d lost by having someone else come anywhere near him, and he left a kiss on his right shoulder up to his neck before scooting back again to make it obvious that he was done.

"There. Now you can go.” He moved slowly, standing up and headed to the small wardrobe in the corner of his bedroom, grabbing a fresh towel from the bottom. He was soon in the bathroom, the door ajar, the light flooding out of it into the dark bedroom as he put the light on. 

He was in the shower in no time and it was _blissful_. It was like it was washing all his stress and worries away, but not nearly enough as he did still have the fact he told Eren that he would be quick in his mind. He really wanted nothing more than to curl up and sleep, to get rid of this day once and for all. 

Levi hadn't even allowed himself to think about the letter, and still wasn't, keeping his mind focused on dinner; the movie; the walk there and back; of Eren holding his hand. Anything to keep himself from thinking too deeply. 

He stepped out of the shower, drying himself off quickly and pulled out the pjs bottoms and underwear he kept near to the laundry basket for such occasions as him getting out the shower. They were a little baggy, one of his older pairs but it highlighted just how much weight he’d lost.

Levi headed out after tidying slightly and turning off the light, to see Eren still on the bed with his wing covering him. He moved to his side, lifting the covers and slipping into them with his back to Eren, head resting on the pillow as he left out a soft sigh at how comfy it was after the awfully long day.

He twitched as fingers gently ran up his bare arm, but relaxed a moment later and turned around, his expression guarded but clearly dulled by tiredness.

“Hey. I’m still me,” he whispered. “You’re still safe.” It seemed to do the trick, as Levi allowed him closer and he carefully wrapped his arm across Levi’s hip, allowing him to cuddle up next to him on his side and rest his head on his shoulder, his wings wrapping loosely around the pair of them as they were both accustomed to by now in order to help them both get to sleep.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fluuuuffy time?

"Morning, sunshine.” The kiss to his forehead made him shift slightly, the voice that met his ears half-waking him, “if there's anything you want to spend the day doing, just say the word. I can't wake my other half up anymore, he's kind of gone dormant over the last two weeks. But anything else. It's your call." He felt like something was wrong, he never got to pick what they did…  
“Is.. is everything ok?” He moved, leaning up against Eren’s chest, content and happy enough that he realized he was still right where he’d fallen asleep, so didn’t have to move too much.  
“You don’t know what day it is, do you?” Levi blinked sleepily down at golden eyes, “it’s Valentine’s day...”  
“Oh… really?” He hadn’t been keeping track of days, just ending up knowing when the weekends were, since Eren always seemed happier when the weekend hit.  
“Really.” The smirk that hit him made him freeze, his mind going blank, feeling fingers starting to run up and down his sides, the actions thoroughly distracting. “So, your turn to pick what we do today.”  
“Me?” Eren nodded,  
“It’s all on you. Just don’t make it too lame.”   
“I…” his mind went to food, and he felt like his stomach was going to start eating itself. “I think… I’m hungry.” 

“Chinese?” Levi nodded, Eren moving quicker than he could get up and off the body below him. He heard the beat of wings and was surprised that Eren was even able to do such a movement, given they were inside his apartment. His back hit the sofa cushions and he looked up to a smirk, a blush covering his cheeks as lips pressed over his own. He responded in kind, his hands circling up and over the other's neck, fingers splaying over his skin, quickly pulling the other closer. It lasted a few minutes, Eren pulling away as Levi started to move his legs. “As much as I want this to happen,” lips hovered over his own, a hand stilling Levi’s thigh, stopping him wrapping his legs around his waist, “you’ve not eaten since lunchtime  _ yesterday _ . Don’t want you passing out on me.” Levi’s eyes were still closed, feeling Eren’s noise bump his own slightly, his breath hot against his lips. “That food isn’t going to eat itself pet…”

It didn’t take long for Eren to coax him up and towards the kitchen, letting him get drinks while he reheated the food. Levi slid into one of the stools at the breakfast bar, watching Eren go about dishing the food, though he was a little put out when a deep pasta bowl was placed in front of him. Though he had to admit, his looked more appealing within the bowl, rather than on the plate Eren had himself. It made him feel somewhat better as he took the spoon that was offered, Eren not bringing chopsticks. He dug in quickly, rather happy with their choice of breakfast at 9 AM, rather than 1 PM. He was shocked with how much he ate, though still didn’t finish until Eren was up and out of his stool, swivelling him so he was leaning back against the table. Grey eyes looked to the spoon that had scooped up a portion of food. “Eren…”  
“You’re finishing it. You don’t even have much left.”   
“I can feed myself.”   
“Yeah? If you could you wouldn’t have left it.”   
“I’m full…” Eren looked at him pointedly, moving closer so he was stood between his legs.  
“For me…” Eren smiled a soft smile, eyes verging on puppy dog and Levi wasn’t about to let that happen. So he leant forwards, capturing the end of the spoon in his mouth, Eren pulling it out past his lips. “You are going to have to explain to me at some point why you resist so much and barely eat. It can’t be good for you, Levi.” He stayed quiet, repeating the action quickly to get this over with until Eren was happy to press a kiss to his lips and pulled away. “Go, get changed.” Levi nodded, sliding off his stool and heading towards the bedroom without a second thought. “Warm clothes, please, it looks like it will be cold today.” 

He vanished through the doorway heading towards his closet, changing slowly after throwing clothes on to his bed. Marks littered his skin in various spots over his torso. Eren’s favourite spots, to be exact. He’d gotten so used to them being there now that he barely even looked at them anymore. It wasn’t even like they’d done much. Yes, ok, once or twice it had gone that far, but the majority of the time Eren teased the hell out of him, and it made him shiver just thinking about him topping up the red marks as they lessened. They were a permanent fixture on his skin now, his body didn’t even attempt to heal them anymore.

He ended up in a long-sleeved, plain pullover top, it hanging from his torso a little big since it was one of his old ones before the weight had dropped off him. His jeans were around his legs soon after, a double belt looped around his waist, hanging on either side of his hips in alternate loops. They were really only for visual purposes, the belts doing nothing to keep his jeans up, meaning they were hanging a little low on his hips. His blue jacket from his time with no memories was pulled on to his torso, it hung loose but liked it because it was a comforting piece of clothing. A loop of fabric soon hung from his neck, wrapping it around several times and hanging over his jacket around his neck acting as a nice knitted scarf. He walked out after pulling socks on and found Eren had acquired clothes from the living room, smirking in his direction and heading across to him, giving him an openly appreciative look up and down as he did so. “I  _ really _ like this jacket, have I told you that before?”   
“Maybe… once or twice…”   
“Well… I do…  _ really _ do.” Hands pulled him closer via pulling his belts around his hips. Lips pressed against his own, the gesture slow and rather sensual and it made him almost weak in the knees before Eren pulled away smiling down at him, Levi blinking his eyes open slowly. “Decided what you want to do?”  
“I… I thought we could… go to the coffee shop. I remember their latte from last year, it tasted amazing…” He was a little apprehensive to suggest going to the coffee shop, it would be the first time they had gone together since the demon had taken over. He’d only ever been with the Nephilim, but now he knew what day it was, he could kill for that latte. “If you want to… of course…” Fingers had started to pull gently at the scarf as he spoke, tugging it so the collar was visible slightly, golden eyes looking to it, before looking up at the hesitation in the grey eyes of the short Nephilim. 

“Sounds fun. Shall we?” Levi nodded, Eren moving to pass him, the shorter male moving quicker for a change and linking his fingers with Eren’s, pulling him towards the balcony doors.   
“I want to fly, instead.”  
“Now you’re talking.” He smirked, soon taking over and pulling Levi to the doors and then through them, watching Levi shut them as they hit the cold air outside. It wasn’t long before they were in the air, Levi not straying far from Eren, as was now habit, not wanting to go too far in case anything were to happen to one of them, mostly him, as he ended up being prone to accidents lately.

They landed out of sight, Eren going as far as to adjust the looped knitwear around Levi's neck so it helped to keep him warm after flying. He smiled a small smile, somewhat surprised when fingers intertwined with his own gently, the grip soon increasing and prompting him to hold the hand back. He did, as Eren pulled him out of the alleyway and towards the small shop, the windows slightly steamed as they looked through. Eren pushed open the door and let go of Levi's hand, allowing him to walk through while he held the door open for him, "go get a seat, I'll get our drinks." He nodded, trusting Eren to know what he'd order. 

His lithe frame was soon sliding into an empty booth, grey eyes looking around the shop to see it quite busy as he started to remove his jacket. There were people close together at tables, couples mainly, he noticed. Obviously they were getting their morning coffee fix together before they had to be anywhere, given it was a Thursday, according to the happy calendar behind the counter. There were decorations all over the place, too, highlighting the fact it was Valentines. As he placed his jacket next to him, his eyes looked to the table, hands quick to work the scarf over his head, and as he placed it on top of his jacket his eyes met a familiar colour and he just couldn't look away. He smiled a half-smile, Jean offering a small wave towards him, Levi returning it as Marco looked around. He saw the freckled teen's eyes go to his neck, a blush forming over his cheekbones as he realised he was obviously still wearing the collar. It was second nature to him now, he could barely feel it unless someone called attention to it. Levi saw Marco start to get up, Jean stopping him and then Eren stopped him as well on his way past when he didn't listen to his other half. 

Levi didn't miss the look of concern that graced the freckled males face. He watched them converse for a few small moments before Eren picked the tray he'd rested on their table back up and headed over to him with a smile that he knew was meant only for him. The eyes stopped him dead, as he noticed they were green, a small inhale of breath heading into his lungs. He had to think on what he'd previously been told, that the demon couldn't wake the Nephilim up, the eyes must be for everyone else's benefit. It still did him no favours, his body aching with the want to spend this day with the Nephilim as well.

_ As well? _

He could barely pull himself together as those words filtered through his mind. 

Eren slid into the booth, an adoring smile on his face as he placed the tray down, taking bagels on plates and their drinks from it and placing them on to the tables. His drink had a heart in the foam, and it made him smile at the pattern Sasha had created. The drink itself, he knew would be sweet and delicious, the red foam having a tellingly strawberry hint and smell to it. Just looking at it, it made him smile. "I love when you're this happy, Levi." He looked up from his drink, not actually having drunk any yet, just wrapped his fingers around the oversized mug, warming them through. Grey eyes met green, a golden shimmer going through them as he looked deep into them, a shiver running through his body. 

"Thank you, for coming here with me."  
"You're welcome," Eren leant forwards, closing the gap considerably, Levi thankful he didn't flinch at the action, "I'd do anything for you, pet."  
"I'd never ask you to."  
"You don't have to." The eyes become completely gold, Levi only just picking up on it as he leant forwards quickly, pressing his lips to Eren's, his own eyes closing at the gesture. 

It was a gesture that wasn't missed by anyone who knew them in the coffee shop. It outwardly reaffirmed that nothing was wrong, bar the collar around Levi's neck and everyone knew by now that it was a condition of them working things through. That it showed how sorry he was and that he was willing to do anything to make it up to the male beside him. It calmed Sasha behind the counter, eased Marco's worries, but made Jean frown as he looked away and towards his drink. 

“Sorry if the eyes shocked you, by the way. It’s not like I can let anyone notice that I’m not anything but a Nephilim out here.” 

His eyes had stayed closed after the kiss and as Eren's forehead met his own, he sighed a small sigh. He'd never thought of it that way, he'd never thought of how difficult this would be. "No, it's... It's fine... I just wasn't expecting it, that's all." He opened his eyes as he spoke, seeing Eren looking towards his coffee, it making him look to his own, the bagel looking appetising, but after the food he'd just eaten he didn't know if he could eat it. His fingers slid up to hold half of the rim of the mug, not being able to hold it in his normal fashion, given the size and the weight. He stared at the heart in the foam, a reserved looked crossing his face. "I'm sorry..." 

"What for?"  
"I didn't mean for any of this to be difficult for you. I didn't think. I should have...." His free fingers threaded through the mugs handle, ready to pick up the latte to drink but not quite being able to as he looked to Eren, seeing him looking in his direction. "We can go... If you want. I don't want anything to be a pain for you, Eren."

The demon chuckled, shaking his head and tipping back a little to slowly sip down some of his mocha. The cup clattered a little as he settled it back down, one of his hands resting on Levi's over the tabletop.

"It's fine, really. I meant it when I said we'd do anything you wanted to." His eyes stayed fixed on the golden before him, his fingers gripping slightly as the back of his hand gained a kiss from the other's lips. "Besides, I might be out of practice but I could still take Kirst-neigh over there any day of the week, don't you think?" Levi smiled, eyes flickering to his hand near Eren's mouth, then back up. 

"I'd be worried if you couldn't." He knew it wouldn't get that far at any point, at least not today. He hoped never, since he didn't want anyone to get hurt because of him anymore and that included all the Nephilim in the cafe at current. He rolled his shoulders slightly, thumb running gently over the back of Eren's hand as the other lowered slightly, Levi's free hand carefully picking up the mug, clearly showing signs of discomfort at the way he had to hold it. He heard Eren laugh quietly next to him, "shut up." The words were playfully annoyed as he brought the drink to his lips, savouring the taste of the long swig he took, lowering it with an undisguised small moan sounding in his throat, licking his lips free of any foam. "Shit that tastes good."  
"Oh really? I bet I can think of something that tastes better." 

He froze as the words were spoken against his ear, grey eyes on the latte in the mug now resting on the table. It was awful, and he supposed it was a public place, that anyone could be watching, that gave him the small bout of confidence that tapped against the back of his brain along with the dull throb that he'd gotten so used to now he barely felt. 

"That was  _ awful _ ..." His voice was low and he looked side on at Eren, before turning his head a fraction so his eyes could look to his lips. Even if the comment was awful it didn't stop his mind flashing towards what Eren was clearly implying. He could picture his mouth against the demon's lips, his throat, his chest... It would taste far,  _ far _ better, he supposed. "And here I thought you were going to  _ behave _ while out in public.." 

The commanding tease to his voice, one since long gone crept its way back into his words. His mind had clearly said that nothing could happen here, it being far too public with too many Nephilim eyes on them. But if Eren was going to try and flirt with him, he wasn't exactly an unwilling party. His defences had been down for so long now and even though he knew full well it was the demon before him, he just couldn't help himself. 

He knew the man next to him, demonic nature and all, didn't want to hurt him, he didn't want to see him in pain, he loved him like the Nephilim did... Or had. He cared for him when his other half only kept on causing him pain, pain he rightly deserved but pain nonetheless. 

His breath shook as he breathed in a few times, eyes flicking up to meet the green eyes as a flash of gold went through them, Levi getting caught up in the action, mesmerised by what he had seen so close to his own.

"Perhaps I need an incentive to behave," he replied, his voice barely above a low purr which completely stripped any remaining illusions as to his intentions. "Do I get a reward later if I'm good,  _ Corporal? _ " 

The shiver that went through him was astounding. Just that one small title set him on edge the way the demon said it. His eyes returned to his drink, both hands around the outside of the mug, holding it gently. He was at a lost for words, trying to rack his brain for a response, the statement-making him flustered and scrambling internally. "And here I thought I was the one wearing the collar..."

He blinked a few times before he realised he'd said the words and not thought them, hastily bringing his mug to his lips with both hands, the rim at his lips as he took a drawn out drink and humming at the taste afterwards, acting as nonchalant as possible. Though internally he was having a debate with himself whether or not this somewhat backchat was going to end badly for him when they got home... He didn't want to land himself in trouble, but he didn't want to appear as submissive as said collar clearly implied to some people he figured, since that's not who they thought him to be. Deep down, he didn't want to blow Eren's cover. And that scared him a little.

"Well, I did say I'd do anything you wanted...  _ Anything."  _ Eren spoke near his ear there, and even though he knew the playful manor and the smirk that graced the others' features meant something entirely different, his mind couldn't help flick to the Nephilim underneath the blackness of the demon. Eren had said that that part of him lay dormant, and he'd want more than anything to sit and speak with him again, to try and fix the broken pieces between them. But he knew that wouldn't be happening, even if he asked, Eren had said it himself that he couldn't wake him up. 

He turned his head and nudged Eren's check with his nose gently. "Can you stop?" His voice clearly said it was a reluctant question, one he'd rather not ask. "We are in public and no doubt being watched intently by  _ someone _ here." He could feel eyes on him but he didn't want to look to see who it was. "I don't want you to have a difficult situation on your hands. I don't want to cause you pain, Eren." While it was certainly true that he'd done nothing to stop the behaviour, he really didn't want this day to be ruined by anyone asking the wrong questions, or seeing something they shouldn't see. He was becoming more anxious with each passing second, his eyes moving from Eren's lips to his eyes. "Please? For me?"

Well, he couldn't hope to turn that down, as much as he would love to keep on going. Perhaps Levi knew him too well at this point. It wasn't like Eren really gave a damn who was watching, although he could probably hazard a guess or two.. but Levi worrying was the opposite of what he'd wanted for the day.

"No promises, but I'll try," he replied, munching on his bagel as he considered what was likely to be going on the rest of the day. "For you."

He smiled a small smile, hands lifting his mug carefully as he sat back in the booth. His legs crossed under the table as his back leant against the cushioned wall behind them. 

"Thank you," his voice was quiet, drinking slowly, happy the drink was starting to cool to drink faster, though not happy it would be gone quickly. He looked around the cafe, seeing Jean's eyes look away from them as his own moved over to the pair, seeing Marco laughing about something or other as he recalled a story to the somewhat confused looking male. 

The place had emptied considerably, leaving the Nephilim and only a couple or two humans left. Having been in a world of their own they’d not noticed any of them leave in the slightest. "Did you have anywhere you wanted to rush off to?" Levi glanced to Eren as he pulled his drink from his lips, holding the mug within his hands as he held towards his chest.

"No, nowhere. Don't really have anything planned." He looked towards the counter, seeing Sasha laughing and giving a hug to Connie from behind the glass display case, not having anyone to serve meant they could at least have a moment together. "I'm not good with this Valentine's day crap. I don't see the point when you can do the things people do on this day all year round." He took another drink, the mug nearly empty as he thought on that. It was always Eren that dragged him out on Valentine's day. He was more than happy to stay in, huddle up on the sofa while watching a bad film or two of Eren's choosing before going out for a meal and then going back home and repeating the movie process. Though they never completed a movie when they sat down after getting back. Too much alcohol at dinner and the fact they could nev er quite keep their hands off each other anyway. It was  _ always  _ Eren who got excited by Valentines. 

He finished off his drink after he spoke, leaning forwards slightly to place his mug down, his top moving enough that it finally slipped down over his shoulder, it having been threatening to do so since he took his jacket off. His back connected with the cushioned surface again as he folded his arms loosely over his stomach, looking to his left, away from Eren and out a small part of the window that wasn't steamed up, "but it looks like its staying nice, we could go for a walk, if your up for it." He knew there was a park a few blocks away, and he'd never minded when Eren dragged him to it after finishing up at the coffee shop to wind down for a little while before grabbing lunch. Not that he thought he was going to be able to eat lunch this year, it would probably be best to save himself eating so he'd be able to eat wherever it was they had later on that night. 

His eyes connected with Jean's again as he looked back around from the window, hoping Eren wasn't noticing the glances the male kept giving them, Levi in particular, like he was concerned. He didn't want Jean getting himself hurt without realising it. He also didn't want the cover that Eren should be a Nephilim blowing up under them because Jean was being far too nosey in their business. As much as Levi had wanted the other to know, to blow the lid on this, he didn't anymore. He didn't want to lose the demon that sat beside him. And that thought alone made him shiver involuntarily, pulling his arms closer around his stomach, trying desperately to recall the point where he'd started to  _ want _ the demonic half just as much as he wanted the Nephilim. He couldn't pinpoint it but it scared him, and it ran through his body, not thinking to try and disguise it internally, completely forgetting the other was constantly in the back of his mind. He had already told this version he loved him, under false and dubious conditions, but he had, though was thankful Eren hadn't brought it up since, as Levi didn't really want to think about it in regards to wanting the demon more. He couldn't think of not having the demon in his life now, he craved days like this too much to want him to disappear, the Nephilim didn't give him that anymore. The last time he'd been awake he'd written a letter that was still in his bedside table draw at home that had destroyed his soul and the demon had picked up the pieces and helped put him back together. He felt like he couldn't be without the support anymore, and he reached out, as Eren sat back against the wall as well, to link their fingers loosely and resting their hands on the other thigh, trying to soothe the emotions running rampant within him.

  
  
  


The walk had been nice, he had to admit. As much time as they spent here, they never got to appreciate it quite like they had done on their walk, just passing through the crowds, blending in as much as they were able. Eren had sent him on ahead and he’d happily accepted, being rather exhausted from the outing to the coffee shop and their long walk into the late afternoon. He’d landed on the balcony, closing the doors behind him after heading through and taking his jacket and scarf off and hanging them up in his closet. He’d padded back afterwards, heading to the sofa and sitting down on it heavily. It didn’t take him long to curl up on the end, head against the armrest, a cushion against his stomach with his arms around it loosely. 

His mind began to drift to the demon he was now waiting on to come home. He couldn’t get over the fact that he actually  _ wanted _ him to come home, too see him land on the balcony and head over to him. Levi still couldn’t pinpoint the moment in which he stopped actively wanting the Nephilim back with him, back next to him snuggling on the sofa falling asleep as he was now. His eyes were blinking themselves open as his body relaxed into the sofa, a sigh passing out his nose. Maybe it was the day, the morning and afternoon they’d shared together, that was pushing him closer towards the demon half of the male he’d fallen so heavily for. They’d had a day he wasn’t likely to forget in a while, the walk and the coffee, and he was going to come home and they’d end up watching some crappy film or TV show that Eren no doubt would pick. It was a tradition he knew wouldn’t be avoided if his body had anything to do with it, it feeling exhausted beyond reason.

“I’m back.” Had he fallen asleep? How long had he been sleeping for? He looked around to the kitchen as he looked around their apartment. Eyes landing on the groceries that Eren had obviously brought back with him and he didn’t even get the chance to offer help in putting away or helping cook anything... “No, you just stay there. I’m cooking tonight.” He did as he was told, relaxing back into the sofa, eyes shutting again, falling back into an unconscious state as if he’d never woken up. A dreamless sleep captured him, registering the sounds of Eren in the kitchen, even in sleep. Light sleeping habits for numerous decades didn’t just vanish in a few short months. 

It wasn’t until he felt fingers against his face that he stirred, pulling out of his sleeping state to gaze upon Eren’s features. “Come on, sleepy. I hope you’re peckish.”  
“Mmmm.” He pushed himself up sleepily, running a hand over his eyes, rubbing the sleep out of them with a heavy arm. “I could eat…” He’d forced it down, either way, he wasn’t about to pass up a chance to taste the demons cooking. “You didn’t have to cook.”   
“I wanted to.” Levi smiled a small smile, meeting Eren halfway as the other leaned in to give him a light kiss. The demon pulled back and took hold of his hands, pulling him up and off the sofa carefully, leading him via walking backwards to the kitchen, guiding him into a seat, the smell hitting Levi’s nose, and his eyes looking down to the table.

The food looked amazing, it smelled and looked delicious. “Eren…” He looked to the wine, waking up considerably as he watched said male pick up the bottle and pour wine into his empty glass. “This is…” His eyes looked at the garlic bread, “wow, you didn’t have to do this.”  
“Again, I wanted too.”   
“You didn’t burn anything… Colour me impressed.” He saw Eren smirk, looking rather proud with himself from what he could see.   
“Go, dig in.” He actually did want to, happily picking up his fork and spearing pasta on to the end of it as Eren looked at his dish, Levi missing him glancing back up as the fork vanished between his lips. He pulled the utensil out his mouth slowly, a moan he didn’t’ bother to disguise rumbling in his throat.   
“Man, that tastes  _ good _ , Eren.” He was quick to spear more on to the end of the fork, Levi glancing up to see a smirk directed at him, “what?”   
“Told you I’d make you moan like that more.”   
“Can we drop the sass while we’re eating?” His lips pulled into a half-smile as he tilted his head slightly to the left, “this is  _ sorta _ romantic, no need to ruin the moment.” He almost rolled his eyes as his free hand reached out to take hold of the wine glass, even now holding it like he would everything else, despite the stem and rounded underside that is connected to.  
"Well, at least we have a romantic moment going." he mused, spearing some more sauce-covered chicken. "I'm actually quite bad at that kind of thing."  
“You and me both.” 

As they finished, Eren was quick to collect their plates, Levi finishing his glass of wine off before pouring them another glass, the bottle almost empty. A few minutes passed by before Eren turned around and was back bringing a dessert with him. "But luckily as it turns out I'm not that bad at cake."   
“You  _ made _ this?”  
“Mhmm.”  
“Wow…” He looked at the slice on his plate, picking up the fork that Eren placed next to it, admiring the delicious looking piece of cake and extra chocolate covered strawberry on the side of his plate. He carefully cut off a piece when Eren had sat down and picked up his own fork. The taste wasn’t even describable. He was shocked beyond reason that this person, that couldn’t cook and could  _ burn salad _ , had made such a wonderful tasting meal and dessert. The moan spoke for him and he didn’t even wait for a response, eating more rather happily. It was a foreign sight, given the last month or so he really hadn’t been happy to eat anything or eat anything quickly either. 

“Good?”   
“So good. I can’t believe you made this. When did you even have time to make this?” He glanced up as slender fingers came up to pluck the strawberry from his plate by the stem, seeing an opportunity as Eren spoke towards his cake.  
“Eh, a night not long ago while… you… were…” His voice trailed off as his eyes lifted, Levi’s eyes downcast, looking at Eren's plate, strawberry between his lips, the chocolate-coated part nowhere in sight. His teeth sunk into it as he sucked gently, his cheeks hollowing slightly at the action. His lips fell from around the now half-eaten fruit, his eyes flicking up as he chewed slowly, seeing Eren’s eyes on his mouth.  
“I was what?” He swallowed after speaking, licking his lips slowly.  
“While… while you were sleeping…”   
“Mmmm.” He smirked slightly, seeing Eren’s eyes meet his own, and he finally caught sight of the apron as his eyes tracked down the demon's jaw and his neck, an internal sigh happening as he realized he’d missed it for almost the entire meal. His hand reached out and he drank more of the wine, and as he placed the glass down he finished off the large strawberry, the half-eaten fruit vanishing into his mouth, only the stem showing held by Levi’s forefinger and thumb. He tugged, dropping the stem on to the side of his plate, looking up from his cake as he cut into it, to Eren, who was still watching him, “you alright? You seem distracted…” What was that about stopping the sass? Did this count as sass or just badly faked innocence? He couldn’t even tell as he held the golden gaze that was full of desire as he looked back into steel grey.

"I wonder why." The low tone of voice that followed made him shift in his seat, watching as he circled the breakfast bar and went behind him. He tilted his head back slightly as he felt Eren's chest touch against his back, eyes angling upwards. "I'm sure I can make you more distracted, though.." His eyes closed as the strawberry half passed his lips and teeth found his skin, Levi angling his head to allow more access to his neck as Eren slowly moved up the expanse of skin. He'd chewed and swallowed the strawberry by the time his head was turned and lips connected with his own, his eyes remaining closed as the kiss deepened quickly.

As the kiss drew on, Levi managed to swivel himself so he was facing the other, moving so he stood between his legs, strong hands against his jaw and neck as he tilted his head more to give him a better angle thanks to the new position. Levi's hands were against his hips, fingers threading through belt loops and pulling him closer impatiently to try and get more contact. Eren broke the kiss briefly, a small chuckle sounding near his ear as lips found the skin just under it. "Do you want to finish the cake?"

"What cake?"

That was all the answer Eren seemed to need as his world shifted dramatically on itself, sending his mind reeling as smoke covered his sense of being, not just his vision. It was almost instantaneous, Levi next finding himself on their bed with his back against the covers, the room dark save for the last lights of sun lighting up their space through the balcony doors. His mind was dizzy, fogged considerably as his body shook in response to the travel, lips sucking his jugular like it was the only thing in the world. He could practically hear Eren's voice telling him to 'give it a minute, you'll be fine soon.' So he listened, not really caring if Eren was in his head telling him that to save unlatching from his throat or if he was imagining it. Either way, it worked to listen, feeling like he could move now the effects of a Nephilim travelling through demonic means had worn off. Or that's what he assumed it was. He really didn't care about specifics right now. 

Levi could feel the marks forming against his skin as Eren moved down, Levi not realising the shirt he'd changed into because he thought they were going out for food was already off his body and under his back, wedged between himself and the covers. He moaned quietly as a mouth latched on to his nipple, his head lolling to the side, his eyes landing on the bedside table, hand reaching out to take hold of the leather between his fingers, a thought crossing his mind. It took him two attempts, but he managed. He wasn’t as physically fit these days thanks to the exhaustion and lack of nutrition entering his body, causing his muscles to wear thin. But he managed it and Eren was left under him, Levi sat on his thighs, crop in hand. "You said this morning..." He leaned forward as he spoke, "anything I want, today..." A knowing smirk graced Eren's face at the words, hands coming up to grip Levi's waist. 

"I do believe I did..." Levi stayed hovering over the other, a hand on either end of the crop, reaching up and sliding it under Eren's hand, past his neck and below his shoulder blades, thankful Eren moved his body to accommodate the action. He gave a sharp pull, leaning back as he did so, forcing the demon to sit upright with a small grunt as the crop brushed against the top of where his wings protruded from his back. His hands soon adjusted so the crop was on the underside of the other's wings, Levi's arms under Eren's, his lips hovering over Eren's from where he was sitting looking down slightly. He tugged gently, seeing the other’s eyes flutter, hands against his skin as he was made to sit straight-backed, forcing their chests together and black wings to lift slightly behind the others back, the sight an amazing one to see as they twitched into listening to the small jerk. "As much as I like you on top..." His voice was low, filled with wanton desire, "I have  _ missed _ this view."

"Yeah?" He nodded slightly, eyes hooded as he looked down between them to Eren's lips. "Then don't stop now, pet..." He pushed forwards, pressing his lips to Eren's quickly, pulling the crop a little more to get their bodies flush together. 

  
The slow burn of the tension being coiled through his body wasn’t due to any deliberate harsh teasing, instead, the firm, slow shift of Levi’s hips against his own through their various layers of clothing was what was driving him to distraction. They hadn’t been this gentle, this careful with each other since Levi thought he was dreaming, thought it was the Nephilim side of him that he was dragging ragged, panting breaths and slightly frustrated moans out of with the slow, hard nips and sucks. Eren’s skin was becoming home to its own small network of red marks that  _ weren’t _ merely retaliatory for the first time in a long time as he twitched and shuddered under Levi’s grip. 

Eren’s wings were flared wide and quivering, back arching against the bed he’d tipped back on somewhere through this as his lust-fogged mind barely worked through the sound of a cap popping before he was hissing slightly and tensing up at the feeling of being opened up and explored by Levi’s fingers, able to still feel his other hand resting against his neck, gripping the thin leather trapped under him for better leverage.

For a few moments instead of solely being dominated by the heat coiling through him with every slight brush of Levi’s fingers and every soft, tender kiss being used to try and make him forget about the discomfort, his expression was almost overrun by confusion. It had been an end goal, yes, but he didn’t know how to feel about Levi wanting to treat him like this. Wanting to treat him exactly the way he had his Nephilim half. It was a nice change, but it was confusing. He couldn’t get his head around the level of care and affection being taken despite the lust in the steel-grey gaze that was watching his every reaction. It seemed almost  _ wrong _ in a way, despite being everything he thought he had wanted.

And then the only thing he knew was those grey eyes burning into him in the half-darkness, the sight of Levi’s lazy smirk as he watched the demon twitch helplessly beneath him for a change something he was pretty sure would remain imprinted in the back of his mind for a long while. The only word he could form was Levi’s name when he felt his fingers curl, purposefully brushing his prostate just the once before a low chuckle was heard, the action making him see white. He could barely wonder how he’d thought giving this up had been a good idea because he could tell how  _ happy _ Levi was even as his brain felt like it was coming off the rails as he writhed under the Nephilim’s touch, desperate for more. He could practically feel it himself.

And he wanted more of it. He wanted all of it. Anything Levi would give him, his hands fisting in the sheets as his legs locked loosely around Levi’s waist in an effort to pull him closer, to emphasise what he wanted without having to actually ask. Golden eyes were only half open and completely hazy with desire as he felt Levi completely work him over, teasingly pressing at that sweet spot inside him over and over and  _ over _ until he couldn’t even manage the two syllables of his name at all without them coming out faint and broken. Eyes scrunched shut and head tipped back as his body went completely lax against the mattress when Levi finally paused and pulled back a little, no longer able to hold off any more as much as he was enjoying watching the demon thoroughly come apart under his slow, purposeful touches.

The high pitched, completely debauched sound that escaped Eren’s bared throat as Levi pushed inside him surprised them both, blood rushing to Eren’s face as the demon refused to meet Levi’s eyes, glancing off to the side. He still didn’t quite know how to deal with his own vulnerability in the face of this slow intimacy, with showing Levi this kind of weakness, even if he was already aware that Levi probably wouldn’t see it like that at all.

“Look at me, Eren.”

The words were too gentle to be a command really, and he felt his head turned upward again by fingertips pressing against his chin, guiding his eyes back to the warmth waiting for them in the other’s grey gaze. At that moment if he were actually capable of feeling guilt for all the times he’d hurt Levi he knew that look would have been the end of him. Because what had he done to warrant this level of care and attention besides cheat and lie and scare his way to it? It wasn’t like he was the one who actually deserved it, who had fought and suffered for it. It pained him, but he couldn’t apologise. This was the first time he’d come anything close to feeling sorry for what he’d done and was still likely to do in the future, and he didn’t know how to put it into words. He’d known that he was going to end up changing Levi, but he had never expected that the Nephilim might start to affect him in return, even if it was only in this tiniest of ways and would never really be displayed to the outside world.

Instead of trying to speak he tightened his grip on Levi’s waist and offered him a small smile, black wings curving to press against Levi’s shoulders in a brief copy of the gesture the two of them had used so many times before to put into words what neither of them could bring themselves to say aloud.

“S’fine.” he somehow managed to say, biting his lip as he felt Levi move and his attention was wholly dropped from his moment of contemplation, the lust crashing back down on his mind like a wave as the touch against his cheek moved to his hip to angle him slightly more and then all he saw was stars, the Nephilim drinking in his every shudder and gasp as he went back to pounding slowly and mercilessly against the spot inside him that made his thoughts a scattered mess. Levi’s name was a breathy scream as he was finally tipped off the edge after being held there for what felt like forever as the Nephilim took full advantage of Eren letting him do whatever he wanted, fully intending to get his fill of the sight of the brunette utterly wrecked and desperate beneath him as long as he could last out before they both saw white, bodies still tingling as a low, hushed hiss of Eren’s name left him and he allowed himself to collapse forward onto the other's body.

He barely felt Eren start to move as he drifted in and out of consciousness as the demon sorted out their usual process of tidying up before collapsing back into the bed beside him and pulling him close. Black wings folded up around them protectively even with the coverlet tossed over them almost forming a barrier against the outside world all on its own. 

It had clearly taken a lot out of the Nephilim to take control and do the majority of the work tonight. The demon’s last conscious thought was that he was definitely going to have to let this happen more often before they both fell asleep wrapped up in each other. 


	15. Chapter 15

_**2 weeks later** _

It was late afternoon, the sun shining brightly through the windows of the coffee shop. He was currently huddled in the far back corner of the coffee shop, some caramel concoction Sasha had created for him, it being full of ice thanks to the incredibly warm weather. It tasted amazing, and he was happy to drain the plastic cup it had come in, the female bringing him another one when she noticed he'd finished. Jean had got the word around that Levi hadn't been eating or drinking much lately, everyone going out their way to make sure he did. Not that Levi knew this in the slightest, only ever noticing Eren making him eat more after not finishing a meal. 

He'd lost so much weight since himself and the Nephilim started to have problems, the current situation not helping the stress and the worry. He’d also lost a portion of his mind, thanks to the demon, but he didn’t even think about that, never noticing a part of him wasn’t there, always putting it down to the want and need to see his Nephilim. Since the day he'd placed the letter that had been given to him by the demon written by the Nephilim, he’d thought about it constantly. He'd only read it a few times over the last two weeks, it safely tucked away in the draw, but each word rang in his mind whenever he wasn’t with the demon that now resided front and centre of Eren’s body. 

Said male had thoroughly occupied his mind through every day, and every time he so much as thought of something wrong, he was punished and disciplined into a more obedient personality in regards to the male, and he'd not noticed in the slightest. It wasn't something you thought about when it was happening to yourself gradually over time. It had only been a cause of giving a slight push in the right direction, a small suggestion or simple concealed threat when required, making Levi think twice on a lot of things. He still did, but he knew now what he wasn't supposed to do, still thinking twice sometimes, but knowing full well when he was in the wrong. No lies passed his lips anymore either, not wanting to conceal anything, as he'd found if he were brutally honest with the other, less punishment was sent his way and he could be a lot more forgiving. Not always, but he had the capacity to be.

He looked up from his book, quite content where he was in the nook just reading the day away. Eren was off doing an errand, not stating what and Levi hadn’t asked. So here he was, sat in the coffee shop with Sasha essentially keeping him going with free drinks. She was currently putting things on to a plate, Levi watching her for a moment before looking to watch Connie, who was happily serving a customer. The redhead caught his attention again, wandering over to him with a tray in hand. She slid it on to his table and sat down next to him, making sure to keep a gap between them. Last time she’d sat too close, Levi had almost jumped out his skin at the sudden contact. “Thought you could do with something to keep you going till Eren gets home with food.”  
“Eren is bringing home food?”  
“He called to say he was bringing back take-out home with him, but he would be home late. Said he hadn’t wanted to bother you.” The thought of the other not wanting to bother him after saying he should enjoy the free day brought a small smile to his lips, looking at the tray. “And since I’m on break, thought I’d sit with you. You looked lonely.”  
“You didn’t have to, I’m not all that hungry.”  
“Sure you are! You haven’t eaten all day, sir. I know this because you’ve been here all day.” She gave him a plate, it had a rather impressive chicken sandwich, loaded with extra amounts of meat with salad and some sort of dressing. There was a slice of his favourite cake and a bear claw.   
“Thank you…”  
“You’re welcome.” She removed his drink from the tray too, this time a chocolaty looking invention, Levi taking an experimental sip, humming that he liked it.

They ate quietly, talking every so often, Sasha asking how he was doing, how he and Eren were doing, and how things were in general. Every time she spoke to him she was sure something was wrong, but Levi always managed to convince her that everything was fine, that it couldn’t be better. She never commented on his appearance, because despite his rather drastic weightless and the fact he never looked rested, he always dressed correctly, Eren even having gone with him to buy clothes that fitted. She’d never wanted to upset him with it. 

Regardless of the fact he’d kept his old things, not letting Eren throw them out just in case, he hadn’t wanted to have to do the process again because he loathed it. All he’d let the others do was put them in boxes and shove them under the bed out of the way, he’d been rather adamant on the matter.

  
Sasha left, half an hour later, leaving him to curl back up and go back to his book. It got to around 6, Levi planning on leaving soon, to go home and wait for Eren coming back with food, even though he felt extremely full given Sasha had managed to get him to eat every last mouthful. Though if Eren said late, he probably meant around 9, 10 maybe. A shout drew him out of his small world the book had created around him, looking up to see the commotion, his whole body freezing. “Oh hell no. Get the fuck out now. Connie!!” There was no one else in, the woman had waited until it was just him, customer wise.  
“How inappropriate to shout within a shop, I was going to buy something as well.” Connie appeared, balking and darting back out the room. He didn’t get far, smoke the only thing Levi had eyes for, his book slipping through his fingers, it clattering to the floor, now on the other side under the table. Connie was pushed back into the room, looking panicked. “Now now, I don’t want you running off and telling anyone I’m here, my dear.”  
“You aren’t welcome here.” Sasha’s voice was firm, pulling Connie behind her, pushing him behind the counter. Sasha moved deliberately as she spoke, putting herself between Levi and the new arrival. “You have no business here.”  
“I do believe, I do.”  
“Sasha…” Levi’s voice, quiet, yet firm, making the girl turn around. “It’s ok, really.” He still looked frozen, panicked at the situation, but he knew there was no way he could escape from it. “Petra knows who she’s dealing with if she causes any trouble.” He swallowed, “go sort the back out. Just don’t call anyone. It’ll only make it worse. I’ll sort it.”  
“Oh… So you do still have some sense left, Levi.”  
“Lance Corporal…”  
“Sasha, please trust me.” He looked to her, having a silent conversation, trying to convey he wouldn’t be harmed and that he’d be alright. It took her a minute or so, before nodding and retreating, Connie close behind her. 

“Persistent little half-breed isn’t she?” He stayed quiet, watching as Petra walked across to him, her heels clicking, bending down to collect his book, looking over the cover. She reached over and took his bookmark, putting it within the pages and settling the hardcover on to the table. She slid into the nook, right next to him, Levi instinctively moving away. “Good evening, Levi.”  
“Petra.” He took a deep breath before he spoke, exhaling after he had, leaning back in his seat, arms around his stomach loosely as he crossed his legs.  
“How are you?”  
“Get to why you’re really here.”  
“This is why I’m here, Levi. I’m worried.” She looked him over, taking in his appearance, and then looking a little deeper, shock crossing her face as she was met rather heavily with a demonic trace that was so strong it was as if Eren was almost there with them. “He’s got his claw so deep in to you, Levi.” Said male looked to her, finding it rather odd how much she was using his name. Was she trying to be comforting? Trying to make it seem like she was welcome? “You don’t seem well.”  
“I’m fine. Why are you here? You don’t belong here.”  
“I wanted to talk.” It was quite clear he wasn’t going to keep up any pleasantries, choosing to jump straight into business. He did look more himself, now he’d determined that she wasn’t here to start a fight or to harm anyone in any way.

“Is this about the insane notion of me ‘coming home’?” She nodded, leaning forwards onto the table, resting her head in a hand. “I don’t know why you’re bothering. It isn’t going to work.”  
“I have to try. I don’t like you being lied to. By anyone.” He frowned a little at the concept. No one was lying to him. “You’re on the wrong side. You’re fighting the wrong people and you don’t even know it. You’ve been lied to since the second you said you’d live this life.”  
“No one is lying to me Petra, I fight your kind because I have to. Because we’re going to win and I want it to happen quickly.”

“But not Eren. You don’t fight him, do you?”  
“That’s… That’s different…” He licked his lips, Petra not responding other than the stare being sent his way. “The Nephilim is still in there. He’s not fully converted yet. He still has his wings.”  
“Not for long. Neither of you will. I’ve seen your wings, Levi, and they’re nearly the same as your eyes. Keep it up and they’ll be black and then gone in no time.” He shifted somewhat uncomfortably. “Just, please. Do some digging if you don’t believe me.”  
“What exactly am I being lied to about? So I can ‘dig’.”

“Your whole cause. Everything you fight for. It’s all a lie.” His frown increased, his arms becoming more rigid. Petra sighed, continuing, seeming reluctant in doing so. “You’re cannon fodder to them, that’s all you are. You are dispensable. You’re fighting a losing battle and you don’t even understand it.”  
“We won’t lose.”  
“You will. Either the war or your life. Either way, you’re going to lose and I don’t want to see that happen. Join the winning side, bring Eren with you, and bring everyone with you for all I care. I just want you to see what’s happening right before your eyes.” It was a lie, clearly, trying to get him to rise to it, trying to get a reaction. “I’m not lying to you, I swear. I can see you think I am. You can’t win this war, every one of the Angels knows it. Plus any higher up in the Nephilim ranks.”

“Like who? I don’t know and I am only a few off top rank, Petra.” His voice had become oddly calm, withdrawn, and rather reminiscent of his old self.  
“Erwin, in your core.”   
“You’re lying. Erwin knows full well we can win this.”   
“He doesn’t, he knows you’re going to lose. Why do you think he’s so protective over you and Hanji whenever you are hunting? Whenever a situation involving us comes on to their radar. Have you not noticed that you never get sent on Legion missions?” Now he thought about it… “He knows that if something goes wrong, he’ll lose you. And from what I remember of him, he isn’t going to risk anything that might make that happen. I’m surprised Eren has lived to see after his short stay with me.” Anger bubbled up inside him at the mention of Eren being in Petra’s hands. “Hey, calm down,” she raised her hands slightly, leaning backwards, “I don’t mean any harm. Not anymore. I just want you to see the light and come home. That’s all I’ve ever wanted.”

“We don’t always get what we want, Petra.”  
“Yes, I don’t suppose we do… You, of all people, would know that best.” His anger started to ebb away as quickly as it had reared its head. “Have you found a way, yet?” Of course he was being watched. Fantastic.  
“If I had, don’t you think I’d have done something by now?” He’d been looking every chance he got, over the past 2 weeks. Spending as much time as he thought he could get away with, looking for a way to pull the Nephilim back in to control, to push the demon down or out completely. He’d had no luck, anything he found, the demon couldn’t be pulled out once the Nephilim hit a certain point. They couldn’t be brought back from it, it just hadn’t happened before. It didn’t stop him continuing to look for what was essentially a cure, though.  
“Well, don’t stop looking.” She could clearly see that it was something he was holding on to, that was keeping his mind from tipping over the edge and snapping itself into tiny pieces. “If I hear of anything…’ she moved to stand, “I’ll be sure to let you know.”  
  
“Going already?”  
“I can’t stay. I’m sure your friends have already called your Head Quarters. Erwin himself will probably be on his way.”  
“If that were true, they’d be here already and you know it.” She smiled.  
“I do suppose you're right, Levi. Please, think about what I’d said.” He looked away, down to his legs, feeling her move closer, reaching across the smallish sized table between them, fingertips pulling his chin upwards so he was looking at her. It took all his willpower and strength not to flinch. “Don’t let yourself be lied to.”

“He’s going to know you’ve been here now.”  
“Like you won’t tell him the second you see him. He'll know just by looking at you, anyway.” Her hands trailed up, cupping his cheek and his eye twitched at the action. “May as well give him confirmation.”  
“He’s not going to be happy…”  
“He won’t take this out on you,” Her hand trailed from his face, leaving his skin somewhat tingly. “He’ll be too angry with me.”  
“You… you don’t know that…” Last time, it had been Armin, helping him up after he’d become unsteady on his feet after not eating all day while at the office.  
“I do, Levi. Trust me. I’d be surprised if he doesn’t leave and come find me the second he finds out.” She turned, looking back over her shoulder as she walked towards the door. “Take care of yourself, Levi. I do hope we speak again, soon.” The bell above the door sounded loudly, and then again as the door closed behind her.

He deflated, not realizing he’d tensed up completely during that, hearing Sasha come running, Connie hot on her heels. It took him another 15 minutes to calm them both down, to assure them that he was fine and that nothing happened, that they’d just spoken. They had followed his instruction and not told anyone, not rang anything through and would continue doing so given Levi assured them both that he’d handle it and to keep the information to themselves.

He was soon in the air, book in hand as he flew home slowly, taking his time to get his head around what had just happened, fully intended to tell Eren everything the second he saw him. He didn’t want to hold something like this back, knowing the outcome would be a lot worse if he did. He already had the fact Eren would know damn well that Petra had touched him, he’d sense it even if he didn’t’ disclose that little bit of information. He hoped she was right, hoped that he wouldn’t get punished for it. He didn’t think he could take it, Eren always made him count, now, and he didn’t think he’d last long. He’d not passed out yet, but he wouldn’t put it past himself, given how he’d been feeling over the last few days. Especially since anything even remotely connected to the Hallmark holiday coming up put him on edge, knowing he couldn’t spend it in the tradition he and Eren had put in place of the last few years. It pained him, knowing he wasn’t going to go for food, receive or give any kind of gift, and spend the entire day together, just the two of them with no interruptions within the bubble they created. The demon that he currently lived with, well, he didn’t seem the type.

"Don't worry about it. I'm not mad at you." The look said otherwise as he hid his wings from view until a smile broke through and set him at ease, letting out a breath. He hadn't even expected Eren to be home. "I'll be back when I've had a little talk with your visitor."

He watched him leave, take flight into the sky. All the while he worried, wondering what was happening, what was being said. He'd sat himself down on the sofa, curling up on one end, pillow hugged to his stomach. 

It wasn't till around 9 that he returned, the food having been placed into the fridge around half an hour after Eren had left, planning to reheat the lot when he got back. He looked up as he walked into the room. "So.. I hear you've been trying to find a way to get rid of me, Levi." The amused words did nothing to soothe his worry. He knew how quickly this could go south and he started to panic internally. "Did I do something to upset you?"  
"No!" He answered quickly, gripping the pillow tighter to his body. "No, you didn't. I just..." He didn't have a response. He couldn't answer and the panic started to show on his face, becoming flustered as his hand clenched around the fabric of the side of the pillow. "You didn't upset me. I'm sorry, I am."  
"You just? You just, what?" The calmness, the neutrality steadied his nerves as Eren sat at the other end of the couch "Relax. I'm not going to hurt you. It's just because you want him back, right?" He looked at his arms, then up to Eren's eyes as he spoke to him. It didn't take him long to defrost, to move and cuddle against his side, his own back against the back of the sofa, wedging himself between Eren's body and the cushions and forming a sort of safe space for himself as his head rested against the other's chest.   
"I can't help it, Eren. I'm sorry, I miss him..." His voice was quiet, soft as he spoke, "I know he's in there I just... I can't explain it." In all fairness, he'd feel the same if the Nephilim was in control he thought, and that scared him. He felt arms wrap around him, the hold strong as Levi's leg pulled out and over the others, wrapping his foot under the extremity to pull himself closer.

He knew demons, and he knew everything that came with them. Though he hadn't actually thought he'd suggest such a thing...

"I... It might have crossed my mind while looking..." His voice was still quiet, slightly withdrawn as his fingers traced an idle pattern against Eren's shoulder, wrist staying still against his collarbone. He'd come across it and had seriously thought of the fact that if he sold his soul, he could attempt to bargain with Eren in regards to letting him have the Nephilim back. But nothing had come of it, as he'd researched it within their records on how contracts worked. "I was starting to think you wouldn't bring this up..."

The demon's smirk dropped to a more genuine smile as one hand rose, his fingers gently running over the strip of leather around Levi's throat. "I didn't need to, really," he replied, shrugging his shoulders a little. "It's some stupid, petty thing demons do when they find someone they don't want to lose to anyone else." He was going to downplay it, even if it had serious importance to him, because he knew Levi had already done all the research around it and he could bet that it had been thorough and exacting. Just as Levi was about anything he was seriously interested in. "But you already belong to me, don't you? This proves it." he continued, fingers brushing the metal ring in the centre of the collar before stroking Levi's cheek gently, tilting his head up so that their eyes locked. "I don't need to own your soul to know that you're completely _mine._ " The possessive growl of the word was soft, now, rather than bearing the anger that it usually did. the softness of the growl shocked him, not really having noticed such a tone on the possessiveness before, it making a smile form on his lips. He didn't really know what to say to that, he never did. The thought made him shiver, that he was completely and utterly Eren's in every sense of the meaning.

"I am... completely yours." his eyes stayed closed, exhaling after he spoke. "Do you mind me asking... What happened? With Petra I mean..."  
"She was reminding me that according to our.. well... guidelines, shall we say, she was quite free to take you away from me if she wanted to. Since we haven't contracted. I can't make that decision for you. I can only say that if you did, I could give you anything you asked for. I just don't imagine you'd be happy with the idea of someone else walking around with your soul."

He really wouldn't be ok with that. The only person he'd even consider that with was someone he didn't have access to. The demon didn't seem to need to have to own his soul to feel the sense of ownership he clearly had already, so that was a good thought. He wasn't going to be pressured into it, at any rate, or was he? What Eren had just said crossed his mind, "could she... actually take me away from you?" He didn't want that, and just the words coming out his mouth made him begin to panic. He opened his eyes, grey darting back and forth across the blank tv screen. "I... I don't... She can't can she?" His speech quickened, panic shining through. He also really didn't want to end up in Petras clutches, not after what he saw when they went to get Eren. Even though she seemed not to want to hurt him, but he knew just how quickly that charade could crumble.

"Ultimately if she did she'd end up dead. I'd make sure of it. So don't worry. No one is going to take you away, not while I'm here." 

The words and the kiss that followed eased his panic, the wings that appeared doing the same, as it pushed the emotions away from him as they wrapped protectively around the both of them. He hummed a small noise of satisfaction as the wings closed and shielding the apartment from view, the gesture making him feel safe as he scooted up, chest against Levi’s as he became a little daring. He had only done this a couple of times over the past two weeks, and he wanted to see if it was well-received. It was the second time, at least. He didn’t want to think about the first. He was straddling his stomach, his lips kissing his jaw gently, then pressing one to his lips, feeling Eren comply, hands resting on his hips. 

“Thank you.” He spoke as he pulled back, looking down into golden eyes. “I don’t know where I’d be without you looking after me.” The words would have been soul crushing to anyone looking in on the scene and knowing what had got them to this point. But the words were so genuine, he smiled a rather small smile, scooting down so his knees were framing Eren’s thighs, then resting forwards, forehead against Eren’s neck, quite content to fall asleep like that, his body to the side with one leg over both of the demons. Eren’s arms kept him in place so he didn’t fall and hit the others wing, Levi knowing he’d be like that come morning if he were allowed to sleep where they were. Either that or he’d wake up in a similar position but in bed and stripping off 80% of his clothing. Not that he minded, he was fussed, either way, it was just where Eren would feel most comfortable. 

The thought crossed his mind about the food Eren brought home with him, the male below him probably thinking he’d not eaten at all that day since given the amount he’d brought with him since it was more than likely better suited to feeding a small family instead of just the two of them. The thought had made him feel guilty since he’d lost the majority of his appetite, feeling like he always ended up upsetting Eren whenever he barely finished a meal. It forced him to eat the whole lot, though clearly uncomfortable during and after eating it, just to make sure that he was happy.


	16. Chapter 16

The next day passed the same as before, another good day and Levi getting into the false sense of security that Eren was in fact Eren. The lines blurred enough that if he didn't see the eyes, his mind was convinced it was the Nephilim, and even when he did see Eren's golden colour looking towards him, he was beginning to not have trouble dealing with the fact that this was still Eren, just with a slightly different eye colour. 

Two days after Armin had been round, Levi woke, Eren not next to him at all in the bed as he turned on to his side to face him. A frown registered on to his face as he pushed the covers off himself and moved to stand. Though he caught himself short as his hand went to his neck carefully and he stayed sat down, as if routed to the spot, his body not letting him complete the action of getting up to go to the bathroom. He didn't want to incur a consequence of getting up without Eren's morning ritual. "Eren??" It took a moment or two, Eren appearing through the closed door 

"I'm here, Levi. Sorry, I was making breakfast. Didn't realise you'd woken up." he replied, sitting himself on the bed next to the nephilim and pulling him into a hug, one of his wings looping across Levi's back to keep him a little bit warmer without the aid of the bed. They'd had a good last few days and the demon intended to keep recognising that fact and rewarding it. "We both need to go clothes shopping, if you're not too tired. I didn’t buy you all that many since I wasn't sure on your size last time. I realise my aura must be having an effect on you."

The fact that Eren had used his name, and that he'd actually acknowledged the fact that his aura was wearing him down made him answer quicker than he had since the morning routine had started. He kissed Eren back briefly, still a little dazed at the speed of everything that had just happened and only just processed the fact they were going out as Eren left the room. 

Levi got up and sorted himself out, using the bathroom and heading back to pull on some clothes, actually wondering if he were getting new clothes because these were somewhat baggy on him now. Probably due to the lack of food and the aura helping the weight drop off him unhealthily. 

He headed out, seeing Eren placing two plates down on to the table, Levi going for the first chair with food in front of it, knowing Eren more than likely wanted him to eat something. "No, not that one." He was steered to the other side of the table, and he sat down carefully, looking at the plate, and then the one in front of Eren.

There were a considerable amount more strawberries on his plate, along with pineapple and grapes, compared to Eren's. He looked down at it, picking up his fork slowly. "Thank you..."

He actually surprised himself. He finished all of the fruit off, albeit rather slowly, but he finished it. It set him in a rather happy mood, even more so given that they were going out. He finished washing both plates, while Eren headed into the shower. He cleaned up everything that had been used and was soon looking for his jacket and effects. He couldn't locate his phone, but he'd not seen it since the mishap with him being brave and trying to get Hanji to see Eren for what he was. 

He was soon pulling a hoody on to his torso, leaving it unzipped as he headed over to grab his boots, pulling them on slowly. Booted feet soon took him towards the balcony doors, looking up towards the sky. He sighed lightly, wondering if they were going to be flying to wherever Eren planned to buy clothes from. 

"Are you ready to go?" He turned around, looking towards Eren, moving towards him slightly.   
"Are we flying??" He tried not to sound hopeful, but he couldn't help himself. He hated not being able to fly.  
"Not today." He frowned a little, glancing back to the balcony doors, then to the golden eyes that approached him. "Walking is fine too."  
"Walking would take far too long, though." As arms looped around his waist, his hands slid up Eren's arms slowly, coming to rest on the teens shoulders gently. It suddenly dawned on him how exactly they were going to get there. "We're shifting there and back. Saves us carrying loads of bags all the way back with us."  
"Shifting... Wait..." Levi pushed against Eren's shoulders with his hands, to try and emphasise the fact he wanted a gap between them that he didn't want to travel via demonic means. "I can carry things back. It's a nice day out, walking is more than fine." The grip only tightened around him so that he couldn't move away, and that only served to panic him.   
"I know you can. We can walk back. It won't hurt, I promise." A quick kiss was placed against his forehead and smoke clogged his vision. His body felt like it was being compressed and pulled from all directions, and as quickly as it had started, it stopped, Eren's hands letting go of him. 

"See, it wasn't too bad." He was quick to grab the teens arms to steady himself, feeling extremely dizzy and nauseous.   
"I... Don't make me... Travel that way again... Please." His head was bowed and his vision was swimming, breath uneven as he tried to calm himself down. He figured he should have seen that coming quicker than he did, and there was only himself to blame with the fact Eren sprang it on him. He should have known. 

He felt Eren's hands move to his hips again, steadying him, Levis hands-on Eren's elbows. He looked up, seeing golden eyes looking at him, "sorry, but... Not again."

He felt himself calming, the nauseousness slipping away along with the dizziness. He supposed he had Eren to thank for that. "Sorry, we'll walk back. I wasn't expecting it to make you feel that ill." The hug and the kiss to his forehead set his mind at rest somewhat, as if just knowing Eren didn't mean to make him feel that way made him feel better. No doubt he'd be able to walk it off and was happy for the sunlight to hit him as they loved out of the alleyway. He was welcoming of the fact, making sure to stay on Eren's right side purely for the fact the sun was shining from that hand side. 

As they entered the first store, he stayed resolutely at Eren's side, letting him pick out some things first, not quite sure the amount of room he had in terms of Eren's watchful eye. 

By store three, he was relaxing somewhat, managing to wander around the store freely, picking things out he liked to try on, having to try on a variety of styles just to get his sizes correct. It was at that store that he was looking in the full-length mirror in the small changing room, that he actually realised how thin he'd become. 

Levi might have been in form-fitting clothing that looked a damn sight better on him than the baggy clothes he'd had to come out in, but it just served to emphasise how much weight he'd lost. Ironically, it made him feel sick enough that he didn't think he could stomach food. 

He supposed barely any exercise, a constant demonic aura present in his body to make his Nephilim powers actively fighting it off and his lack of appetite all resulted in the image staring back at him from the mirror. 

He'd been quick to leave there, to get changed back into the clothes he'd come out and not looked back. Levi's expression had obviously not been schooled enough, since the second he walked out of the booth, Eren had stopped him. "Everything ok?"   
"I'm fine, just tired, that's all."  
"Wanna head home?" Levi shook his head gently, despite feeling tired and rather upset about his own thoughts right now, he was enjoying being out and didn't want to end that prematurely.   
"No, It's nice being out with you, can we stay out a little longer??"  
"Sure thing, Levi." he smiled, though slightly shocked when Eren leant down and stole a quick kiss, Levi looked around to see if anyone saw, hearing Eren giggle before taking the clothes off him and heading to pay. 

He knew it wasn't a bad thing at all, not in the slightest, but along with the demon's presence, and not wanting to upset him any, he still had old world habits and ideals. He still wasn't big on public displays of affection, especially in places like this. 

Levi followed him out of the room, seeing him head towards the cash register, Levi wandering to the front of the store to wait for him, grey eyes looking around the part of the mall that he could see, to plan where to go next. "Levi?" He looked around as he heard his name, the voice not Eren's, as he had expected to hear to tell him he was finished paying. 

"Jean..." He seemed shocked, over anything, that he was actually seeing the teen before him. "What're you doing here?"  
"Same as you by the look of it. Might be mythical creatures but we still gotta wear clothes right?" Levi looked down to the bags that were in his hands, then back to Jean to see himself under a rather scrutinised gaze.   
"Eren... He's here too."  
"Yeah I know I saw him earlier." Had Jean been following them? Most of the bags he had were the same as the ones that he and Eren held. "Been a while since I've seen you..."  
"Eren and I have been having some time away from everyone... To... To sort our relationship, get it back on track." Jean frowned at him, looking him over again, the action making Levi hug his free arm around his stomach, it beginning to make him uncomfortable. "I think you should leave, Kirstein, if Eren sees you..." He dreaded to think what would happen, even more so when Jean moved closer to him, almost blocking him in. 

"If Eren sees me... What?" He sounded concerned but challenging, Levi not knowing what to say, not knowing how to get out of the hole he'd effectively dug himself. There was nothing that he could say that would make Eren sound better. Anything would sound strange, sound off, and he found himself backtracking in hair thoughts to try and think of a way to get Jean to leave.   
"Jean, move."  
"Or what?" A hand rested next to his head where he meant against the glass front of the store. "I know something's wrong, sir, and I want to help."  
"Eren will be almost done..."  
"He won't do anything, I'm your friend too, believe it or not, I'm entitled to say hi."

He wouldn't do anything to Jean, but it certainly wouldn't stop Eren doing anything to him. The teen moved back a few seconds of eye contact later, still standing close enough to resume the leaning position, but looking him over. By now he'd obviously picked up on his physical wellbeing, was he now thinking it was a mental illness? The Lance Corporal the Jean would know would have pushed him away without a second's hesitation or care for if he broke his nose while doing it.

Although his annoyance was instantaneous and unavoidably clear behind his quickly faked green eyes, he kept up what was probably a rather icy, unconvincing smile as he walked up behind Jean.

“Of course you are. Hi, Jean,” he replied, visibly startling the two-toned blond as he laid a good-natured (if a bit harder than necessary) slap on his shoulder with the hand not carrying their shopping bags. “Something wrong?”  
“Just haven’t seen you around much lately is all,” Jean replied, clearly trying to regain some semblance of appearing casual even though they all knew that Eren had caught him out, even if Jean didn’t know exactly what he was facing. “There are times when even I miss your ugly mug, Jaeger.”  
“Good to know. You can always drop by, you know? It’s not like we mind visitors even if we’re keeping to ourselves for a while.”  
“Oh.. okay. Fair enough.”

There was a moment or two of silence as the pair of them stared each other down, defiance and flat out suspicion still flashing in Jean’s amber eyes while Eren remained blank faced and impassive, before Eren got bored of waiting and turned to Levi, smiling.  
  
“Well, if you don’t mind, we’d better get going, Jean. There are other places to visit yet before everything closes up or we need to stop off for food.”  
"Alright. I guess I’ll see you around. Call me okay, Lance Corporal? Don’t be a stranger.” Levi nodded slightly on reflex, watching Jean walk away, Levi moving to walk in line with Eren. His hand increased around the bag in his hands as he kept his head angled down and walked alongside the teen guiding him away. 

He didn't want to say anything, he didn't want to make any of this worse in the slightest. For himself or Jean. Eren wasn't saying anything and he didn't know whether that was a good thing or a bad thing. He dreaded to think it was a bad thing...  
  
"Where..." He cleared his throat slightly as he glanced up in front of him. "Where else... are we headed??"  
"Wherever you want. This trip is primarily for you, after all.”

He looked down at his hand, to Eren's now within his own. He'd automatically gripped back, and it shocked him that it was such a warm and genuine gesture after what had just happened. He wasn't normally one for such an open action but wasn't going to say no, lifting his eyes and giving a small smile. 

"I... I don't have any jeans yet."  
"Let's get you some, then."  
  


Half an hour later, he was sporting another bag, two new pairs of jeans tucked away inside it. He wasn't that hungry, especially not after breakfast, but Eren managed to coax him into sitting in an outside part of a restaurant, overlooking most of the places around. 

They'd had to box up the majority of his meal, feeling bad for it because he couldn't eat it. Being in public didn't help the fact he could barely eat, ending up keeping on glancing around. 

It wasn't long after that they were walking into the apartment, Levi going straight to the bedroom, placing all the bags on the bed, Eren's being added to the pile. He wanted to get them out of the bags and into the wardrobe and drawers to save them staying in bags.

Eren was all too happy to help Levi fish all their new purchases out and get them properly stored away, mostly because he was a little on the tired side. Shifting them both and carrying around shopping bags all day was going a way towards wearing him out, and he was still worried that Levi wasn’t eating. Not that he could think of a way to broach the subject aside from taking more care in the future to get him to eat.

Sighing, he flopped back onto the now cleared bed, pulling Levi down with him before the older Nephilim had the chance to run off for anything else because he wanted to take a minute lying there wrapped up in each other’s warmth. Levi had seemed hesitant since Jean stopped him, not really able to relax, and although there was a fair reason for it, the demon didn’t want him to be on edge all the time.

“Hey, I’m not mad at you about Jean, you know? That was his fault, not yours,” he muttered, placing a few soft kisses against Levi’s neck just above the collar still in place there, fingers tracing the metal ring on the front as an affectionate grin dominated his expression. “You did tell him to back off.” He allowed himself to be pulled down, landing next to Eren and scooting closer slightly as the teen pressed kisses to his throat. The kisses placed against his neck were doing wonders to distract him as his head fell against the matters, then both not quite near the top given how they'd fallen 

"You're... Not mad?"  
"No, I'm not. Well... I could quite happily kick that bastard's skull in for putting you on edge like that but I'm not mad at you. Are you surprised?"  
"What no...." He paused briefly, eyes looking to Eren's as he saw the teen looking down to the collar around his neck, fingers touching the ring on the front. He kept his head where it was, neck stretched and exposed as he lay on his side facing Eren. "Well, a little..."  
"I'm not going to punish you for something that you didn't do, pet. I'm not that unfair."  
"I could have done more... Though. I shouldn't have let him box me in like that."  
"Well, it's done now. You just need to be more careful of him next time so he doesn't take you by surprise. I might not always be there."  
"I don't think he wanted to hurt me, Eren." Jean had helped him. He couldn't recall a moment Jean hadn't wanted to, even when they'd been hunting. Everything that went wrong had always been his fault, no one else's.   
"That's because you trust everyone too much. I didn't think Armin wanted to hurt me either and he still did."  
"Jean never has though..."  
"Never has  _ yet _ . That doesn't mean he won't, and I don't want to see that ever again."

Their eyes connected briefly, before Levi closed the gap for a quick kiss, pulling back and licking his lips slightly. "Did you mean it though? That he could come round. He could maybe... Maybe bring Bodt as well."

He was reluctant to even consider it, given that Jean was quite clearly looking for something definitive to prove that he wasn't the same as he always had been.. but perhaps with Marco there, Jean wouldn't be so mouthy, and he knew if it was here, at home, he wasn't so likely to get annoyed since either of them could always ask their guests to leave if they overstepped their boundaries in terms of getting close to finding out something Eren didn't want them to.

The fact that Levi had just kissed him was certainly helping tip the scales in the Nephilim's favour, though, the demon smiling and wondering if he realised that for all his protests at the start of this he was slowly giving in to being something that he swore he never would.

Eren's head tilted to the side as if he was thinking about it, and then he twisted to the side, tugging Levi with him so that the Nephilim was sat straddling him. The fingers that had been tracing the metal ring tugged down on it a little harder and he stretched up, meeting Levi halfway for another kiss that lasted much longer than the first had, the teen's grip increasing a fraction on Levi's thighs as he held off the urge to escalate it further before he could actually get out an answer to the question.

"Yeah, I meant it. They've been close friends of ours for years, it's hardly going to do us any good to make people suspicious, and I think I've got the hang of faking it by now. I can handle Jean if them being around will cheer you up."

As Eren twisted himself, Levi felt himself pulled, automatically readjusting his position when he was pulled on top of the taller Nephilim. Fingers looped through the ring on his collar, pulling him down and engaging him in another kiss, this one loner and slightly more passionate than the last. Not that he was complaining, as his eyes closed and his hands and forearms rested against Eren's chest as he leant into the kiss. 

Once the teen pushed him up slightly, his eyes blinked open and stared down into smouldering gold, from where he was perched against Eren's chest. 

"It doesn't have to be right away. I just... I miss seeing people. I'm too used to it."  
"I know. It's not your fault I want to keep you to myself. So.. maybe."

He smiled a small smile and leant forwards slightly from being chest to chest. He bumped their lips together again for a second and pulled back. "Thank you. That means a lot, you letting me see them. I know it can't be easy for you, having to hide."  
"It's dangerous for both of us. If they find me out then they'll take you away. But if you're happy, I'm happy."  
"You won't let that happen." 

He didn't know at what point it happened, but it happened. The lines blurred enough that he wasn't just seeing the demon, but the Nephilim too, that they weren't all that different. Both sides of the teen below him wouldn't let him go, wouldn't let him be taken away. Both sides protected him, looked after him to the point where they even made sure he'd eaten. Both sides were now starting to make him feel safe, and part of him was screaming in protest against it, but another part, a part closer to resurface, was telling him it wasn't a bad thing, to feel safe.


	17. Chapter 17

"Morning, sleepy." 

As fingers threaded through his hair, his baby turned to mush, the feature soothing and calming and all round something he'd always liked Eren doing. "Morning." His voice was heavy and thick with sleep, not even attempting to move.

Not only did he know the morning ritual that Eren didn't let him out of bed for, he also hair didn't want to move in the slightest. He was comfy, warm, and felt like his body wanted more of the peaceful, dreamless sleep he'd just woke up from. 

"Time is it??"  
"About nine-thirty. You woke up earlier than usual." Levi was pretty sure he hadn't seen this side of 10 in the morning for what felt like years, even if it was only a month or so.  
"I could go back to sleep if you want."  
"You're cute when you sleep. But we do kind of need to do something with ourselves today.." He let the cute comment slide, choosing not to protest it l, wondering what Eren meant as he blinked his eyes open slowly. Were they going out?? That would definitely get him out of bed.   
"Yeah, Armin's dropping by later so nothing too strenuous."  
"Armin??"

Why was Armin coming by? He couldn't understand why the blond was scheduled to be over while Eren was quite clearly not himself. Had the teen done something to him? Would he be able to see him? It dawned on him that he might be left in here again and he shifted slightly, now wanting to get off the bed as quickly as he could. 

"Yeah. I haven't seen him in a while." Levi separated himself from Eren and sat up, shuffling under the covers to the side edge and staying there, rubbing at his eyes.  
"Do you want me to stay out your way for it then? When he's here...?"  
"No, you're fine. Armin's no threat." Levi watched as Eren plucked the collar from the bedside table, kneeling in front of him after Levi had turned slightly. Grey eyes watched closely as he rang his fingers across the steel rings across the leather. "Besides, why wouldn't I want to show you off to him?"

All Levi could hear in his mind was 'why would he?' he couldn’t rightly understand anymore why Eren treated him like the first prize of a global contest. He didn't feel remotely desirable or the like to warrant it. 

As a hand ran across his cheek his eyes threatened to flutter closed at the contact, though he managed to stop the action from occurring. "I know you probably still don't mean it, but I want to hear it anyway. Who owns you, Levi?"

The lack of a pet name caused a small frown on his face, so used to being called it and suddenly not hearing it. It was jarring to say the least and it caused him to hesitate over his words, "you do, Eren." Bar the slight hesitation, the words were starting to become second nature, like their good morning wasn't complete until this happened. He didn't realise how odd it was to not have it yesterday until Eren was reaching forwards and clipping it in place. He felt a tug at the back, Eren making sure it wasn't going to come loose or fall off before fingers pressed under his chin and guided him into a small kiss he expected to follow the collar being put in place around his neck.

Although he hesitated slightly before saying it, hearing Levi’s response greatly settled the demon’s small anxiety, his happiness obvious when he didn’t stop at just the usual quick kiss, pulling the Nephilim closer as he moved down, leaving kisses on his cheek and down his neck too. “Thank you.” he replied, sighing happily as he trailed his fingers over the front of the collar now fastened around Levi’s throat, idly wondering how Armin would react to it now he’d have more time to actually focus on what he was seeing. “It helps a lot when you tell me that.. I guess you want some time off from me being all demanding, right? I’ll leave you be…” he suggested, letting go and getting to his feet as he moved off the bed.

He was still reeling from the kiss and the kisses placed on his skin afterwards. "Glad I could help..." He moved to swing his legs over the edge of the bed, toes skimming the floor as he watched Eren leave the room. At least this morning was off to a good start mood wise for the teen. That meant a good day for Levi with any luck. 

He was up and pulling on clothes a minute later, pulling on a slate grey tank top and jeans, both starting to get loose across his form, which seemed to be getting thinner and thinner each day. He'd even had to hunt out a plain belt to loop through the top of his jeans, which was something he was far from used to. He supposed he had his Nephilim essence to thank for that, it constantly working day and night fighting off a forever present demonic aura that just wasn't going to relent. It was always there and Levi felt it probably always would be there, knowing his luck. 

The smell of bacon and pancakes soon filtered into the room, and it drew him out after he pulled on a pair of matching blue socks, heading over to the kitchen and looking to see if Eren was making them both pancakes, and it looked like he was. He went about finding syrup and cutlery, heading towards the table to place it all down.

"Shroom's not going to be here till after lunch, by the way," he stated casually, setting the plates of pancakes and bacon down and going for the maple syrup to finish his breakfast up properly before he dug into it. His mind was already moving on ahead to the things he wanted to do that day. Rooting out his guitar and just sitting in the corner messing around with it for a few hours was one of them because it felt like far too long since he'd touched it.  
"Sure."

He cut into his food, slowly eating it. It tasted amazing but his stomach was protesting as he continued. At least this was effectively taking his mind off the fact someone was killed here last night. He was definitely making it job number one to clean the kitchen thoroughly with the cleaner that he'd brought specifically to clean blood a while back that was in the bathroom. After one rather bad hunt a few years back, where he and Eren had ended up dripping blood all over the apartment, he'd not been able to sleep till it was gone properly. Eren had clearly cleaned, but he knew for a fact it wasn't to his standard. He hadn't come through the bedroom to the bathroom and left again, so he knew he'd not used proper products. 

"I'm sure he'll be happy to see you."

He managed a quarter of the pancakes and bacon before he slowed down even more than he already was from when he'd started eating. Hell, Eren had almost finished and that made him feel worse given the fact he could barely eat it. 

By the time Eren had finished, he'd ate a little under half of it, pushing the plate away and seeing the teen look towards it, but looked away towards the balcony, seeing how nice a day it was shaping up to be.

Levi had managed to settle down on the sofa with a glass of water after Eren had given him his tablet to keep him occupied while the teen set up in the corner with his guitar. It had been a long while since he’d heard Eren play, so he wasn’t complaining in the slightest, even if he did end up accessing his files at HQ through the tablet now resting against his thighs. And not just his files, Hanji’s too. He doubted she’d notice. They were obscure files on the early days when she’d gone on to the assignment of experimentation with Demons and their physiology. There had to be something buried in there to help Eren, he knew it. There had to be.

He refused to give up his last shred of hope, even if his brain was starting to get used to the idea of Eren being this way as a permanent thing.  _ “ _

_ "You’ll never know what hit you, won’t see me closing in,” _

Levi twitched slightly as the words registered in his head, looking up to see Eren concentrating on the screen of his laptop. 

_ “I’m gonna make you suffer, this hell you put me in, I’m underneath your skin..” _

The words sent a shiver through his body and he readjusted his sitting position slightly, bringing his knees closer a fraction before swallowing thickly and looking back down at the tablet screen, tapping it gently to make the screen go to full brightness. 

There definitely had to be something to help Eren in there somewhere. Unfortunately, Hanji’s filing system was like her brain; scattered and no logic. He’d barely cracked keeping up with Hanji’s train of thoughts, she still ended up throwing him for loops every now and then when he was distracted and he knew he had no hope with this system. Nothing was sorted, nothing was labelled correctly, so he’d started at file one, document one. It would take him weeks of trying to avoid being caught, but hopefully, it would be worth it as he tried his best to block out the song that Eren was learning in the corner of the room. It wasn’t a song that the teen would have picked before the change within his body, he’d have picked something that Levi himself would be able to play along with if he so chose, that wasn’t something he could play along with. It actually made him quite glad that he couldn’t, hopefully, he wouldn’t even be asked. Eren looked like he was concentrating far too much to even look towards him unless he did something untoward.

Time passed, not that Levi noticed, so engrossed in what he was doing. He noticed Eren get up as he heard the music stop

“Alright? You seem quieter than usual.” 

He was pulled from his thoughts, having stuttered in his search at the lyrics that had been filtering to his ears. The second Eren had stopped, he’d tried his best to filter it out of his brain, but words and phrases were still running through his mind.

“I’m fine. Just tired.”   
"Okay, if that's all. Tell me if I'm bothering you though."  
"Why would you be bothering me?" He looked up as he spoke, his eyes going from the tablet screen to Eren stood leaning against the counter in the kitchen.  
"I don't know.. but just in case."  
"You're not bothering me, I like hearing you play, remember?"  
"Yeah. I remember."

He smiled slightly, looking back to the tablet after swiping to unlock it, it having fallen idle while the two conversed. Levi couldn’t help but keep going, keep looking for a way to save the teen that was in his kitchen. Even though he did like hearing him play, he wasn’t happy with the song choices that much, them making him think and cause him slight ill feelings. But he wasn’t going to mention it. He didn’t want to upset Eren anymore than he already had so far. He didn’t want that to happen again. 

“How long till Armin gets here?”  
"Not that long now, I think." the demon replied, glancing down to check his watch as he headed over to the freezer to fish the pizzas out and messed with the oven to start it preheating so that he could actually put them in after about another half an hour. "Although hopefully, we won't disrupt whatever you're doing that much. It's only pizza and crappy films for an afternoon."  
“I’m sure you won't.” He looked up as Eren started to get things ready, making said pizzas for when Armin got here. “Do you need any help?” If he’s said something, he’d probably have made a pizza for them to eat. It would certainly have taken his mind off the fact that he didn’t particularly want to think about anything at all.  
"Nah, I'll be fine."

He didn’t seem all that fine, not giving him much to go on conversational wise. He looked at the tablet, getting rid of the applications that were open and locking it, placing it on the coffee table and grabbed his glass, heading towards the kitchen. “You don’t seem all that fine. Are you sure?” He placed his glass down on the side, moving to stand near to Eren as he turned away from the cooker. 

"Yeah, really. I'm not going to blow up the kitchen. I always appreciate the company though."

As Eren’s arms threaded around him, his own did the same over Eren’s shoulders, pulling him close as he looked towards the slightly smiling face. “I’ll happily keep you company. I wish you’d have told me, I’d have made the pizza for you. I miss cooking.”  
"Maybe next time then? Sorry, I didn't think you missed it so much.."  
“Whenever I can get the excuse, I’ll happily cook.” He smiled a small smile, his fingers playing idly with the strands of hair at the back of Eren’s head, twirling hem around his fingers gently. “Definitely next time. Save you doing everything.”  
"I like doing everything for you, though. Always have," he replied happily, his grip around Levi's waist increasing a small fraction as he melted into the comforting touches. "You do too much for other people as it is. Someone has to be here just for you, and it's not like you don't appreciate it." His mind added when you're not trying to run away, that is but he left it unspoken, not wanting to turn the affection into a subtle dig at the Nephilim happily cuddled close to him.  
“I do appreciate it, I just like repaying the favour.”

As lips met his own his eyes fluttered closed, just getting lost within the feeling, the action that Eren initiated. It was slow, easy, like second nature. His hand kept up the action of twirling a thin strand of hair around his fingers, his other hand resting against Eren’s neck.

It was an odd feeling though, being let lead the kiss, letting the kiss deepen at his own pace. He thoroughly lost himself within it, pulling Eren closer and more to his level as the arm held him around the shoulders, making him shiver involuntarily as a tongue slid against each other as the kiss deepened, Levi happy to ignore the beeping of the oven. 

What neither of them could ignore though, was the tap at the balcony doors signalling Armin’s arrival outside. Once Eren pulled away, as he was the one to do so first, Levi’s eyes stayed closed for a moment, opening once Eren gave a small laugh and a quick kiss on the cheek. "Hm.. whoops. I'd better get on with this food.”

He looked around to the glass doors, seeing Armin waiting patiently and pointedly not looking towards them, but to his left across to the building next door. "Do you mind letting Armin in?"  
“Of course.” He headed across, quick to open the doors and allow the blond to enter the apartment. “Arlett.”  
“Lance Corporal.”  
“Take your stuff to Eren, he’s manning the kitchen.” He saw the teen nod, heading past him as Levi took this opportunity to head on to the balcony, leaning against the railing and looking up to the sky as he let the breeze blow past him.

Levi headed back towards the sofa after a few minutes of fresh air, grabbing his iPad and heading to the chair, guessing Eren and Armin would take place on the sofa. He wasn’t even listening to the conversation that was taking place in the kitchen, immersed within the small screen, still looking for that way out.

It wasn’t until Eren and Armin took their place on the sofa that he glanced up, watching as they set up the DVD and got comfy. He watched the opening sequence, recognising the film, but not ever having sat through the whole trilogy, looking back to his tablet and listening to their conversation. 

“Wow.. I always forget how big and blocky all the tech was in the nineties..”   
“I always forget that you never lived to see augmented reality hit the market like I did. It was great, and they were working on properly immersive VR too… but I suppose we’ll get there again eventually, once HQ changes location. We might go somewhere a bit more forward in time.”  
“That would be fun, yeah.”

He glanced up at that, wondering if they ever would get to that point. It would be an amazing experience, seeing and testing everything that the pair was talking about. Hanji would definitely be swayed to give a reasonable excuse for why they needed to move there on the scientific side of things for sure.

He saw Eren look towards him, green eyes connecting with his own and it made him stop, hands clutching around the small tablet as its screen went dark. It took effort to tear his gaze away, directing it towards the TV screen.

The fact of what was happening today, them having a rather good day didn’t help the illusion that it could in fact be the Nephilim once again, back with him and living safe and sound. A blank look fought over the confused expression that was starting to take over his face, trying not to blur the lines of Demon and Nephilim. The eyes didn’t help his cause though as his hands stayed a firm grip on the tablet and his eyes kept trained on to the TV.

When the food was ready, they mostly ate in silence, the atmosphere in the flat one of quiet companionship which was jarring when considering that not all that long ago the demon had lured some unsuspecting moron up here, convinced him to sign away his soul and then slit his throat over the kitchen sink like the whole act had meant nothing. If Armin had any idea what had taken place he wouldn’t be sitting there so casually, he knew that for sure. 

“I’m just going to head out and have a break.” Eren mused, getting up and heading to pour himself a drink before heading out to the balcony. “Will only be a few minutes.”

He had seen the film more than enough times to warrant taking a break, and leaving Levi on his own with Armin might get them talking. The door had been left open behind him a small amount since the breeze was cold but not that strong, which meant he wouldn't be letting all the heat out if he wanted to hear them.

It was only after the first few minutes following Eren's departure that Armin actually looked at Levi for the first time, taking in how thin and exhausted he seemed. It was totally uncharacteristic of everything he knew Levi to be and he couldn't imagine that he was able to hunt to the best of his ability like that. Maybe this was something he was going to have to let Erwin and Hanji know about when he got back to HQ.

"Eren seems like he's got almost back to normal," he commented, smiling a little. He knew Levi wasn't that keen on him still and honestly he couldn't blame him for that. "How about you, sir? Are you doing okay? You look really tired."  
“Normal, yeah. I’ve just not been sleeping well.”   
He honestly didn’t know what to say. Anything he said could be taken the wrong way if Eren were to overhear he imagined. He didn’t want to land himself in trouble in the slightest with saying something he shouldn’t to Armin. In all honesty, Levi hadn’t even planned to strike up a conversation with him at all bar the brief hello and the goodbye he would inevitably give. Just so it meant he was on the safe side in terms of what he said. Though that could also mean that Eren wouldn’t be happy with him for not talking to the blond sat across from him.  
"As long as that's all it is. People do actually miss you when you don't come into HQ, sir."  
"Mhmm"

He did miss going, having to do sly research he honestly wasn’t good at on the tablet resting against his thighs, which were curled up on to the chair and tucked under him. Grey eyes rested on the dark screen, wondering why he’d yet to find anything of use.

"We all thought Eren would have been dragging you back by now, I suppose."  
“No, not yet.” He honestly doubted that would ever happen. Eren couldn’t go anywhere near HQ at all, otherwise he’d be found out for what he really was. A demon in a Nephilim’s body. Something that honestly was a rather rare occurrence. Which begged the question, was Armin not seeing any difference in Eren’s behaviour? How could he not? Armin was his best friend, and he wasn’t noticing a goddamn thing. As the thoughts went through his brain, his eyes locked with Armin’s wanting nothing more than to actually ask the blond if he saw that anything was different, but not being able to as his mind jumped to the consequences of that decision. 

"Jean thinks it’s because something's not right with him yet, to be honest. He said he came over and Eren just wanted to get him to leave.” He watched as Armin looked across to the balcony, grey eyes following the action so see Eren leaning against the railings, the door almost shut. "It's not like they argue anymore but he's never been like that before. Still, it must be nothing important.”  
“He’s fine, Armin, honestly.” He wasn’t sure if he sounded convincing or not, but he hoped he was. Hoped he was beyond reason as he looked at the tablet on his thighs and pressed the button, swiping to unlock it quickly, the line flashing showing where he was last on the files on the work computer network.

As Eren came past him, the other gave him a quick and fleeting kiss which sent his mind spiralling towards blankness. He watched him head to the kitchen, having to stop himself flinching as the glass hit the sink bottom. Grey eyes went back to the tablet, shutting every application down on it and then locking it again as he wasn’t able to focus much, placing it on the arm of the chair as Eren sat down in front of him, he shifted forwards slightly, so that his legs were more easily accessed so that Eren wasn't straining to lean backwards. 

As they went back to watching the film, Levis's fingers reached out to play with a thin lock of Eren's hair, pulling it gently, it twirling through and around his fingers. He was barely keeping up with the film if he were honest, eyes soon looking towards the balcony as his mind started to drift on to flying, and how he missed doing it. Levi rolled his shoulders slightly, his wings not having been out in a while and then starting to ache a little. But he could deal with that. He'd dealt with it for a lot longer before, mainly the time in which he had no memories, but also the stint of undercover missions he did with his old team. That thought alone put his mind on Isabel and Farlan, and then he was lost as he stared somewhat blankly out to the slowly darkening sky, listening to Eren and Armin's conversation idly. 

"Sorry, Armin. I know we haven't really talked much these last few weeks."  
  
Armin smiled in response, absentmindedly nibbling at the bowl of popcorn in his lap now that they'd done eating everything else.

"It's okay, you're allowed to have some downtime, you know? A lot has happened in the last few months." the blond replied, shrugging. "Both of you seem like you could use the opportunity to de-stress."  
"Yeah. It has been a while since we hunted though. Like I said, last time the demon kind of came looking for us rather than the other way around."  
"They're getting braver then, that's for sure."

They ended up watching the whole trilogy, the day dragging into night outside the apartment. Levi had almost fallen asleep at one point, but before the third movie started, he'd moved off the chair and on to the floor, himself and Eren effectively swapping places as the teen moved back to the sofa. Levi pulled the coffee table closer, picking at some of the leftover pizza, given he only ate a couple of slices earlier with a handful of wedges. 

The films soon ended and Armin stretched as he stood. "I think I best get going. Getting really late and I should be getting home."   
"Okay. Be sure to give me a ring if you get lonely now I've moved out.. or just if you want to come back here. Whatever."

Grey eyes looked to Eren as the teen spoke, looking back to see Armin nod in response, heading to the door. Levi moved himself to stand, staying by the sofa. "I'll say hi to Jean and Marco for you, Eren. They were asking about you."  
"Say hello from me, too, Arlett."

The words were out his mouth before he could stop himself, wanting his greeting to also be passed on to the pair. Jean had tried to help him, and he still wanted to acknowledge that, even if he'd gave up and left him in this situation. He honestly didn't believe he was doing anything wrong in getting Armin to pass on his small hello, as he leant against the side of the sofa carefully, folding his arms loosely. 

"I'll be sure to do that, sir."


	18. Chapter 18

After finally succumbing to sleep, Levi slept without interruption all the way through to late morning. When Eren moved his wings away, the change in light after Eren had slowly dropped his hand only made him bury his head further into the teens shoulder, ending up wriggling down curl up by his side, face hidden under his own arm with Levi's head against Eren's chest. His hand had re-curled into Eren's shirt, pulling at it gently in a tight fist and his body soon fell still again, breathing and heartbeat still even. 

Around half an hour after that, he finally did wake to idle patterns being drawn into the fabric of his shirt against his shoulder blade. He opened his eyes, wondering why he could move freely as he blinked against the light. "Morning sunshine."   
"What time is it?"  
"Nearly 11." 

Then he realised, it wasn't the demon he fell asleep with last night, it was the Nephilim. He glanced up, sea green eyes greeting him with the smile he knew belonged to the man he'd fallen for all those years again. "Good morning." Eren laughed slightly, leaning down to capture his lips briefly, Levi making it last longer than Eren had intended by moving his hand up quickly to the teen's neck. The kiss was slow, drawn out and careful, with all the passion in the told mingled in. These kinds of kisses... He definitely missed waking up to them.

The teen was taken off guard by Levi pulling him closer, drawing the kiss out, but he wasn't going to complain. Quite the opposite, his grip increasing around him as he mewled his satisfaction into their joined mouths, his hips giving a halfway aborted wiggle as his legs gripped Levi's sides a little tighter. Just because he was confused about everything else didn't mean he was going to let this go, even for an instant.

As the kiss drew out, Levi was happy to let it, moving so he was straddling the teen's lap as the kiss went on. After several minutes though, he pulled away begrudgingly, eyes closed and still hovering over Eren’s lips with his own as if trying to decide if he wanted to keep going or not. Grey eyes opened slowly, directed down at Eren’s lips, but lifting to meet sea green, his face slightly flushed. “I’ve missed waking up like that.” Levi’s voice was quiet as he spoke, lifting a hand up carefully to press his fingers against Eren’s lips lightly, the teen responding to the gesture by pursing his lips, kissing them gently. The action made Levi form a small smile over slightly kiss stained lips.

“It’s been too long.” A sad look began to cross his face until he looked away, sitting upright and looking around, hands resting against Eren’s chest.   
“Did…. Did you say you brought Chinese last night?” Eren nodded as Levi looked back to him, “late breakfast noodles? I’ll share some with you?” Once Eren nodded, he moved off the teen carefully, heading towards the kitchen to find where Eren had placed the food, finding it in the microwave. 

He went about emptying everything on two plates, heating Eren’s up first, then his own, and heading over to the table with them 10 minutes later, also fixing them both juice to drink with it. An odd combination, but he was craving orange juice. Another odd sensation, actually craving the delicious smelling food and drink that was now before him as he slid into the chair, pulling the chair out next to him to ensure the teen wandering over sat beside him and didn’t move his plate.

He didn’t manage all of the food, but he ate a little over half, letting Eren lean against him as he ate a few more mouthfuls. He felt like he’d be full for days, as he placed the fork down, hand moving up to gently touch Eren’s check. "Are you alright?"  
"I'll be fine. Just a headache or something... I'm still tired so maybe it’s all the light."  
“Maybe yeah…” Levi stayed quiet for a few moments, before swallowing thickly, not wanting to suggest leaving the apartment to go see Hanji or Erwin in case it stirred the beast. “Do you want to go lie back down for a while?” That was something he definitely wouldn’t mind doing. He still felt exhausted, but getting there. His head didn’t feel as fuzzy as it normally did, another sure fire way he knew this was actually the Nephilim and not the demon posing to toy with him. Around this side of him, he could think clearly. 

"No. I hate feeling useless."  
"Then what would you like to do?" He questioned softly, wanting Eren to feel happy and all round ok despite what he knew was lurking within the teen, probably waiting for a chance to show it’s face. Levi wanted to prolong that happening as much as he possibly could. He dreaded the moment that the demon finally broke through and took control. It wouldn’t even well, he had a feeling. He’d left after all, and he couldn’t imagine what the demon had felt upon coming back and finding him gone… he doesn’t want to imagine.   
"Something... I don't know. What do you want to do? Painkillers should make this headache go away."  
“I’d actually love to go out somewhere with you. How’s that sound?”  
"Yeah.. sounds good. Anywhere that’s not work. I feel really off about it for some reason.."  
“No work is a sure thing.” He smiled a little, prompting Eren to move his heads so he could stand. “Go get changed so we can go.” 

Once Eren had moved, he took both plates away and scraped them, depositing everything in the bin along with the leftover food and quickly went about washing them. He was soon drying his hands and heading to the bedroom, starting going about hunting out clothes to wear, rather excited internally over going outside.

Once he was changed, he left Eren where he was for now, heading to find his boots, realizing he didn’t actually know where the keys were… They’d just have to go out the balcony. He had unlocked that with the spare key, so it was thankfully still open. He didn’t want to risk getting the spare just in case the demon walked through the bedroom door.

It was putting him on edge, to say the very least, not knowing when or how it would trigger. Not having any idea as to when the demon was coming back. He knew he would, he just didn’t know when. The demon wouldn’t stay down forever. “Eren? Are you ready??” He wondered where they could go, thinking about the coffee shop. He definitely wanted to be somewhere public for sure, for as long as they could get. Even flying he was anxious about. What if the demon woke mid flight and went straight for his wings? He’d been lucky up until now, to not have them on display whenever the demon was around unless he absolutely had to.

As he called out to him, he moved across the apartment, opening the double balcony doors as he got there and stepped outside. His eyes closed as the sun hit his face, and his wings were itching to take him into the air and keep him airborne for as long as they could. He heard a thud against the tiled floor in the kitchen and turned back around, heading back into the apartment quickly, seeing the collar from his nightstand on the floor in front of Eren. The teen looked a little worse for wear as he knelt on the floor where he'd dropped. He knew this was still the Nephilim half, one because he still had a clear mind. And two, because he was still standing. 

"I don't understand... why... why would I think that? What's wrong with me?"  
"Why would you think what?"

He could take three guesses as to what Eren was thinking after dropping the collar to the floor. All three of which Levi really didn't want to even start to think about. Not Eren for that matter, as it could just drag up the demon quicker.

"That it doesn't belong on me anymore.. or.. rather, like it belongs on you instead? But that's stupid, right?"  
"It's... It's stupid, yes. You've not put it on me bar that time at that club." Yes. That was good. It was quick too. Not suspicious at all. And not lying. Eren hadn't put it on him. A dark entity had put that around his neck, and now did so every morning and every night to say he could now sleep.   
"Yeah, I thought so. I'm just going mad. But we both already knew that."  
"All the best people are. Come on, leave it. Let's go." He held his hand out cautiously to help Eren up off the floor, giving him a small smile once he looked towards him.

They headed towards the balcony, Eren shutting the doors behind them both, and the teen was soon letting gravity take him over the edge of the railing. He waited until he watched Eren shoot back upwards towards the sky before climbing to stand on the railing itself, using the wall for balance as his wings shifted into view. He was soon pushing off and throwing himself into the air, his wings beating almost instantly to take him after Eren. 

The feel of the wind whipping past his as he travelled upwards was unreal. It was even better than last night because this time he was with Eren and not Jean. This time it felt more right to fly than ever. He spread his wings out fully as he glided towards the other the short distance the teen had travelled, hovering close by. "Where to? Or shall we just fly for a while?" White wings beat again to keep him in place as he raised his voice over the rushing of wind at this high up. He gave Eren a quick glance up and down, not subtle in the slightest as he took in his wings.

It was two or three hours before Levi felt the resurgence of the demonic aura hit him full force, seeing Eren covering his eyes and heading to land. 

They were airborne and there was a distance between them, especially now Eren was heading down. Going with him didn't even cross his mind. So he did the first thing that  _ did  _ come to mind. 

He ran. 

His wings beat against the wind that whipped past him as he turned his body and aimed for HQ. As he couldn't rightly remember where Eren was and just focused on getting to the towering building as quickly as he could.

His heart was pounding as he came within sight of HQ. He was so close. He only had a little bit more to go. 

But that was a hopeless dream as hands found his wings and pinned them to his sides. 

He faulted mid flight, his wings trying to recover and keep taking him towards his goal, but a tug later and he was turning in the air, a hand gripping around his throat.

His hands came up quickly to claw at Eren's arm as his wings beat behind him. His nails dug into the flesh as his legs kicked and his wings began to beat and flap harshly to try and rip himself away from Eren. Levi was doing his best and hardest to battle through the demonic aura crushing him from all sides, it making his body feel heavy and weak as his movements slowed. 

But he managed it. For a brief few seconds, he managed it. Eren's hand was pulled off his throat, long, angry red lines now on his neck from where fingernails and thumbnail had caught skin, blood bubbling at the surface. He didn't get far managing to drop down lower as he aimed for a high topped building just in case he fell. As his feet touched down on to the roof, hands were on him almost immediately. The first thing he could think of while he wasn't in the air was to hide his wings, them still moving as they began to hide from view.

The hand that had been dragged from Levi's throat was pulled to his lips, the demon licking the blood off his fingertips with a dangerous smile as he allowed the Nephilim to hide his wings from view without comment, one arm wrapping around Levi's waist as the other hand closed around his wrist.

"Why did you try to run away? You know you'll never be rid of me."  
"Let go." He spoke, desperation creeping into his voice as he avoided contact as he tried to get free once again, Eren's hands remaining a steel grip on his body to prevent him from escaping. The most he was allowed to do was to hide his wings from view, and that was a huge relief.   
"Answer the question, pet."  
"No! Let me go. Please don't do this." He didn't want what was coming. If he got chained to the bed and drawn for however many hours that had been for trying to get Hanji to see the demon that Eren had turned into, he dreaded to think what running away would get him. And twice, now, no less. 

"How can I protect you if I let you go? No.. I don't think so. We're going home." His struggling became more forceful now, Eren's grip tightening a fraction as he pushed against his body, his legs skidding on the floor slightly as he pressed backwards as he attempted to flee at the words. The arms around him a firm and tight hold.   
"No!! Please. I won't tell anyone, I promise. Just... Let go. Please Eren...."  
"If I let you go, you'll just run away and get yourself hurt. How about you sleep and I'll get us there instead?"

The aura was so depressing, closing in on his from all sides as he felt his mind start to succumb. "No!! Don't..." His hands pulled down at Eren's arms in a feeble attempt to get them off him, his legs grinding to a halt of kicking out at the demon's legs. "Eren... I don't..." His eyes began to drop, finally looking up to the other's face. "...want..."  
“You don't know what you want, do you? Not really. _Sleep_ **,** pet."

The last thing he saw before his world tilted as his body became limp, was a burning golden gaze that would be the thing of nightmares for what he felt would be for years to come. 

* * *

He didn't know how much time had passed, his eyes opening groggily, blinking up towards the ceiling of his bedroom. 

Levi knew full well he’d end up here but that didn't stop him pulling at the restraints around his wrists and ankles weakly, barely being able to feel his toes and fingers, let alone make sense of his jumbled brain and he tugged and pulled somewhat half-heartedly at the bindings, the chains clinking away as he tried to twist his body.

Eren opted to get close in order to allow the physical contact to ground his anger before it went too far and he did something worse than he was planning because he lost his temper. The demon crawled up the bed and settled himself in Levi's lap, one hand tracing down his jaw with a feather-light touch as if he was apologetic, treating Levi like delicate glass artwork that might shatter if he pressed too hard.

"Levi? Have you come back to me yet?" he sounded calm, but his aura easily betrayed him on that front, the atmosphere in the room totally oppressive.

He wasn't answering, choosing to stay quiet as he already thought that he wasn't quite back anyway, wasn't quite all there upstairs as his eyes blinked sluggishly. He tugged weakly at the cuff around his wrist as he angled his head away as Eren got closer, his eyes shutting slowly. He pressed the side of his face into the pillow, tugging at the binding around his ankle next before going still. 

He felt totally helpless, totally at Eren's will like this, even more so with the aura weighing down heavily against him and his mind. He already missed this morning, waking up safe in his Nephilim's arms, to lazy kisses and Chinese food for breakfast. He didn't think he'd be seeing such things again, not if the demon had anything to do with it.

"Talk to me, Levi. Why won't you answer me?" The demon sounded upset, as though he were the victim in the situation, as though he couldn't understand what Levi saw wrong with anything that was happening here. Levi’s response was to just let his hands curl up and around the chains again to relieve pressure from the cuffs against his wrist, head pressing into the pillow still as much as he could, desperately trying to ignore the tone of voice. "I don't understand... why do you keep rejecting me when I try to protect you?"

Eren's voice rang through his brain, his eyes scrunching shut and his hands becoming fists around the metal, pulling it slightly with his fingers. 

No. He wasn't falling for it. He refused to fall for it. This wasn't Eren. This wasn’t the demon being upset. He wanted answers and he was going to try and get them any way he could. He couldn't fight back physically, so he needed to remain as strong as he could for as long as possible. It wasn't as strong as he hoped, as he could feel the aura following through him, threatening yet calming, which was something he couldn't fight. But the urge to speak, he damn well so his best.

"If you won't talk to me, I'll make you scream for me." he hissed, his bottled rage finally showing in his expression. His voice was deceptively silken, not that clear on whether he was promising screams for good reasons or painful ones. "Don't make it a challenge. You know how much I love challenges. So I'll ask again, give you one more chance.. why did you run from me?"

His fingers carefully traced the collar of Levi's t-shirt as he waited for a response, pondering how bad he was going to make this if he was still faced with silence as he reached to the side and picked up a familiar red length of material that he almost always blindfolded Levi with, winding it through his fingers. 

He didn't want to answer. Didn't want to give him the satisfaction yet again, by knowing his fears. Fear that led him to go with Jean, fear that led him to fly the hell away from him while in the air. The fear of not knowing what was going to happen made him edgy and nervous. 

When Eren didn't get the response he wanted, Levi heard a sigh and felt Eren shift forwards towards him more, pulling his head where he wanted it. His eyes opened to catch a brief glimpse of red, and he started struggling. "No. Please..." Despite his pleading words and restricted struggling, Eren persisted, the red covering his eyes quickly and securely, Levi knowing full well he wasn't going to be able to work it off. 

At least with his eyes closed and not covered, he had the option to look or not. Now he had no choice. 

He felt fingers return to the collar of his t-shirt, now finding his meld wondering what the hell was going to happen. He didn't want anything that he wasn't consenting too, and he felt like that's where this was going, and it made him squirm again, pulling at his binding as the thought crossed his mind.

“Not quite what I was looking for, but at least you’re talking again,” he replied, considerably more cheerful than he’d been only seconds before. “Does not being able to see unsettle you?” At the same time, he was already pulling up Levi’s t-shirt a little to trail one hand over his stomach, snuggling up to him. The only response he got was a nod, though, and it made him sigh. "Is it because you don’t trust me?"  
"No... I don't want to be hurt..."

He couldn't help but start to associate with losing his vision with being hurt, with pain, whether that is emotional pain or physical. He knew it was coming and the blindfold just reinforced that, told him he wasn't allowed to see what was coming to make it that but worse when it did.

"What makes you think that? I might be very nice to you."  
"Me being like this, this isn't nice.  Just... Please, don't do whatever you have planned..." Not talking had gone right out the window with the loss of his sight and he couldn't help try to prevent the oncoming pain he knew was going to be dealt towards him. The demon was angry that he'd tried to get away, even if he would have come back in the morning from Jean and Marco. In the air though, he'd openly tried to run, hell he'd do it again if he got the chance, he imagined.   
"You didn't mind being like that in the past.. or maybe I'm remembering it wrong?"   
He stopped there, stopped trying to lessen whatever was going to happen. He clearly couldn't stop it, clearly couldn't get free, so resigned to letting it happen. The quicker Eren got on with it, the quicker whatever was coming would end and that meant he could curl up and recover from it that bit faster.   
"We could always do it again.”  
"No. Please. Not that."

He didn't want anything of the sort, and he felt like it was coming down to that, given Eren pushing his shirt up and running his hands all over his chest, and the closeness of the other in general. It wasn't like he could stop anything from happening. He was extremely helpless, without being able to move to defend himself, and he was dreading whatever Eren had planned as his mind went more and more to the side of the demon not asking for consent.

He heard Eren breathe out a sigh, feeling his t-shirt be pulled back into place.

“Fine. If you don’t want to play with me, I’ll find other people who will,” he replied, smoothing out the fabric methodically so that his skin was covered. “You don’t mind waiting up for me, right?” Although he sounded playful it wasn't exactly like Levi had any choice in the matter. He couldn't get himself out and Eren wasn't letting him go anywhere for a long time yet.  
"Other people? Wait, you can't leave me here."  
"I don't see why not."  
"How long are you going to leave me here for?! You can't!!" He began struggling again, pulling at his bonds, wanting nothing more than to get free, the covered metal pulling against his wrists, now unable to hurt himself.   
"Oh.. a few hours, maybe. Depends how many people I end up leading astray."  
"You're... serious about this..?" He felt the bed dip as Eren clearly sat on the edge of the bed.  
"You thought I  _ wasn't  _ serious? If you're going to run away from me I can't exactly trust you with any more freedom than you already have."

He heard a draw close and he stopped struggling, head angling so that it was facing up towards the ceiling. His breathing was slightly heavier than normal as fear, panic, and anger flooded his system at once. “Eren… that’s… You… you can’t go pick some random person up at some random bar and leave me here.”   
"You think I'm going to stop at one person? That's cute." He spoke around laughter, and it made Levi's stomach flip uncomfortably. 

More than one person?? 

He couldn’t even process the fact that Eren was openly telling him he was going out to effectively cheat on him, for lack of a better term, and wasn’t even phased. He tugged on the bindings again futilely, knowing full well he wasn’t going to get free, but still trying regardless because that was all he could do. Levi knew that it wasn’t going to be long before his body was aching and sore from being in the same positions for too long.

He felt Eren crawl back to his original spot perched on Levi's hips. 

"I'm going through as many people as I can." Eren’s body against his hips made him freeze. He didn’t want anything remotely sexual while he was like this, while he was feeling the way that he was. He doubted he would for a few days if this kept up. "Humans don't compare to you so it might take three or four... or six... Unless you can think of a reason for me to stay here, that is." he shuddered as fingers brushed against his neck, a reflexive shiver running through his whole body at the contact. 

“You won’t untie me…” He knew full well that even if he wasn’t tied down and unable to move, he still wouldn’t want anything that Eren was offering. Even if he agreed, it wouldn’t be consensual and Levi knew that. He’d be agreeing for the sake of giving Eren what he wanted, to have less punishment and pain. But in the long run, it would equal more pain given the psychological impact it would have on him.

"You left me. If I do you'll just leave me again. Besides, you haven't earned it."  
  
Well that was true, he was contemplating running purely because he didn’t want to be tied up again. Though, if he got caught it would just govern more ‘punishment’.

“Then I have nothing to offer you…” He sighed around the words, his body relaxing considerably as he began to try and save his muscles, the strain that was inevitable if he didn’t fall asleep. “I can’t stop you.”

It was true, he couldn't, no matter what he did.. but that didn't mean that the demon was going to let the moment go unrecognised. Levi was giving up. Completely giving up to what he wanted and admitting it out loud. This had to be a first.

"Aww.. you're really giving up?" he muttered, his concern thoroughly mocking as he tilted his head to one side a little, what would have been a cute pout showing if Levi could actually see it. "Is even the thought of me whoring his body out to anyone who's interested not enough to get you angry anymore?"  
"I can't do a fucking thing about it so why bother?" He tugged at his restraints again as if to prove his point.  
"There, see? You're learning." The demon replied, leaning forward to kiss Levi's cheek. "It's probably a good job he can't remember anything, really. The loyal little puppy would be destroyed from the inside otherwise."  
"At least half of you knows about loyalty."

His small display of 'affection' was quickly denied as Levi turned his face away from him, making him sigh.

"Don't be such a hypocrite, pet." Sitting straight, he paused for a moment and then leant over to reposition the chains keeping Levi tied tight so that he had more leeway to move around and sit up if he wanted to but would not be able to leave the bed. "There. If you've taken that blindfold off, I'm going to take it as an excuse to give you a show when I get back. See you later!"

He pulled his arms and legs, finding a great deal more slack on the chain, meaning he could roll on to his side the second Eren got off him. He heard the door close a minute later, meaning he had truly been left on his own, the demon nowhere in the apartment.

The only plus side of that was the demonic aura no longer in his system, and it allowed him to feel like he could breathe again at last. He definitely thought that he’d be able to sleep like this… with any luck that it.

He sat up, hands coming up to his face, fingers going straight to the cloth around his eyes, shaking slightly and wanting nothing more than to yank it off and throw it across the room as quickly as he could… But Eren’s words rang in his ears, and it was another case of not wanting anything bad to happen as a result of it. He definitely didn’t want a ‘show’, as it had been coined, he didn’t want to see Eren’s body being unfaithful. He didn’t need that image. It was bad enough knowing he was going to do such a thing now.

Levi sighed, removing his hands from his face and stretching blindly instead. He could go for a drink right now, anything would do, but he wasn’t getting such a request fulfilled, so he fell back against the mattress. He curled into himself as much as the chains would allow, scooting back so that his arm could wrap fully around his stomach. 

He tried to keep his breathing steady, hoping to hell that when Eren got back he didn’t bring friends with him. He couldn’t take that. He didn’t think he’d survive the sounds, and definitely wouldn’t last long if Eren saw fit to remove the blindfold for a ‘show’.

Within half an hour, his breathing began to even out, his body relaxing as he eventually fell asleep to the quiet and his own morbid thoughts as he was left thoroughly alone. It was only mid-afternoon, but given he was in no socks, a thing T-shirt and jeans, he was rather cold as sleep finally took him, a shiver having threatened to pull him out of his sleepy state, but Levi would thank the stars for it not doing so, letting him fall asleep, though rather uncomfortable given the inability to lie on his front if he so chose, or even to move without snagging a chain and jarring his limbs.

He felt so exhausted, so drained, then he didn't wake up for anything. Sleeping as soundly as his body would let him given it was still chained to the bed even if he had more give in the chains. His dreams were colourful, though not colours he'd associate with happiness, more doom and gloom sort of colours that he probably wouldn't remember when he woke. 

Which happened with a start, as if he were falling in his dream and suddenly reality telling his body it shouldn't be falling as he flinched into the mattress. He heard scuffling from outside the room. Or he assumed it was outside as when he turned his head towards the door and opened his eyes, he realised he was still unable to see. Was Eren back already?? It didn't feel like two minutes since he'd fallen asleep. "Eren? Is that you?" He spoke louder than normal and a bang was his answer, fear running through him cold and undiluted. 

"Get the fuck off me!!!" That wasn't Eren. Was someone else in here?? He moved himself carefully to sit up, leaning sideways on his arm as he flinched, a crashing meeting his ears. There was a clatter of metal and he felt the demonic aura prickling at his skin, his body relaxing slightly as he felt it. 

Eren was at least here. 

He heard a thud and a groan, someone sounding winded and what he assumed was being thrown against a wall. 

Oh god. Was Eren here  _ with  _ someone? Was he actually having sex outside this room?? 

"Oh god. No no no. He can't be." Levi breathed the quiet words to himself as he tried to breathe correctly. He heard more clattering and whatever was happening it was rough and someone was putting up a hell of a fight.

Suddenly, silence was the only thing that met his ears after a clatter of metal on metal. He pushed himself up so he could sat as best he could. "Eren??" He got no response to the call of the teen names and went to lie back down. A minute later, he heard the door opening, flinching as it happened, the demonic aura prickling across his body again as Eren moved through the room. 

At least Levi knew it was him, and he felt better for not being on his own any more, hoping he wouldn't be chained up much longer. He didn't even know what time it was, didn't know how much time had passed him by while he was chained to the bed. His thoughts went back to the ones he was having before he'd fallen asleep, as he pushed himself to sit upright, his knees bent so his feet could be flat on the bed. 

If Eren couldn't trust him to leave? Was he going to be here indefinitely? He rather hoped not. 

Was he going to be let free at certain times of the day and then allowed to move under supervision?

Or was it a case of heavy supervision constantly and indefinitely?? 

He hated not knowing, hated not being able to predict what he was going to do. He hated being chained and tied down so only seeking out his freedom.

Levi felt a dip on the bed next to him, instinctively looking that way. As his sight was given back to him, he had to close his eyes anyway as light suddenly hit his retinas. He blinked furiously as Eren spoke, trying to get his eyes to cooperate with the light from the bulb above them. "I'm back. Sorry if I startled you killing one of the rather ungrateful people I picked up. He was the last one so we won't be disturbed any more than that. Petra's no longer as much of a threat, either, thanks to tonight." As Eren paused, he finally managed to look at the teen properly, eyes still not liking the light, but happy to have his vision back. Was that really what he’d just heard? Eren killing someone in his apartment like it was no big deal?? "You hungry?"  
“Wait… You just killed someone? Here??” He received a nod in response. 

He couldn’t get his head around it, pulling at the restraints slightly so one arm was across his stomach, his legs still bent at the knee, feet planted firmly on to the covers atop the mattress. The teen was the sight of happiness.

The speed and lack of hesitation, or seemingly as Eren’s eyes checked him over visibly, from going to killing someone to asking if he was hungry were astounding. He couldn’t understand how he could shift from one to the other so easily. Though he was demon… demons killed more people than the Nephilim and Angels liked to think about. But in his apartment? While he was chained to a bed and blindfolded? To say he was shaken somewhat, given he was helpless and defenceless while bound, was an understatement. It could have been anyone walking in through any number of doors. Demons weren’t immune from getting in and out, Eren proved that, and hell humans wouldn’t be deterred by a wooden door if they were determined enough. 

Levi wasn’t used to feeling so helpless in his own living space, and he had just been made to feel such a feeling. He didn’t like it and didn’t want a repeat of it. Even now, there was little if anything he could do to stop an assailant while his wrists and ankles were connected via a chain to the bed. He couldn’t run, he could barely fight back, hell he hadn’t been able to see a moment again and even when his sight was given back to him, it had taken him a minute or so to adjust to the blindly light coming from the ceiling. He had barely even registered that it was dark outside and that he’d been chained up for the majority of the day.

“Yeah. Didn’t get anything anywhere so don’t worry,” he replied, shrugging. It sounded like because Eren hadn't got blood everywhere, it made it ok that he'd just killed someone for no good reason in the apartment... “You know you’re safe here, right? The only reason I could get past the warding was that I cheated and used my Nephilim half. The others don’t have that capability. And the human would never have laid a hand on you.”

"But... If you weren't here... And I was alone, chained like I am and someone had got in here..." He didn't think Eren understood how useless he felt, or he did and didn't want him to stop feeling this way because he would make it better by being there for him...  
"I didn't go that far away. I’m pretty keyed into you now, I'd have noticed your stress level spiking and shifted straight here. Otherwise, I'd still be next door and I wouldn't have gone out." Eren soothed, slowly laying one arm across his back in a brief attempt at a hug that he was expecting to be shrugged off. "I'm angry at you but I'm not going to put you at that much risk."  
"You're still angry...?"  
"A little. I thought we were getting better and then you walked out on me, of course, I'm going to be annoyed. It was more that you knew not to do it and you went ahead anyway.. but that still doesn't mean I'm going to allow you to be hurt." as Eren pulled back, his eyes were redirected from smouldering gold to the bands around Eren's ring finger on his left hand. "See? I'm strong enough to make Petra think twice now."  
"You... Eren... You made three contracts??"  
“Yeah. That was what the deaths were for. I couldn’t stand to be picking up on their ceaseless stupid thoughts at every hour of the day.” he replied, shrugging. “None of them really counted on me collecting early, so to speak.” That was besides the point. The teen in front of him shouldn't be killing poor humans, he should be protecting them from harm. 

"You killed three innocent people tonight Eren... They did nothing wrong!" He tried to move away as he spoke, not getting all that far thanks to the chains still around his ankles and wrists.   
"What, you think I tricked the poor lost sheep? Oh no, I made sure they knew exactly what the consequences were, even offered to leave them alone, and they did it anyway. No one's 'innocent', Levi."  
"Did you tell them you were going to kill them after they'd signed away their soul??"  
"I told them I was a demon. Kind of thought the killing part was implied."  
"Implied. Not informed." Then it dawned on him... "Oh god. You..." He tried to move away again, to no success, at the max that he could go that the range of the chains on his ankles and right wrist would allow. "Outside the room..." Eren had has sex three times tonight and one was while he was asleep, chained to the bed and blindfolded... Most likely on the couch.   
"Yeah, me. Outside. What's that got to do with whether you're hungry or not?"  
"I... I'm not hungry. I feel sick.." Eren clearly hadn't been kidding when he said he was going out to get laid. Three rounds of sex and three contracts later, here he was. He was sitting there close beside him like none of this was a big deal. 

The thought that he'd bring someone home while he was where he was was something he didn't want to think about. He was never going to be able to look at the apartment again. Was this going to be the last time this would happen? What if he were awake for the next one? Or he was forced to participate?? 

"Fair enough. I don't know what you're freaking out about, it's not like you haven't killed people before."  
"Only when I had to!! And I certainly didn't fuck them stupid before I did so!! I felt a little thing called  _ remorse  _ after it had happened!!"  
"You know why I don't feel remorse? Because it means I'm stronger, and you're not under threat anymore."  
"I wasn't under any threat to begin with!!" Levi's voice raised again, now near on shouting with panic and confusion. "Those people you killed weren't a threat to me!! The only threat is you fucking someone senseless with me in the next room!!" 

If anything, at that moment the sex was something that was more of a deal than the killing. They were both done and now in the past, but Levi couldn't get his head around the idea of Eren being unfaithful any more than he could Eren killing three innocent humans who obviously didn't fully understand what they were getting themselves into. 

If it was one thing, relationship-wise that irked him, it was this. 

Not killing innocents unless absolutely necessary was a purely built in Nephilim reflex. 

"Oh? So if Petra comes back to break your other wing do you want me to just stand and watch? Because I couldn't do much about it before but I can now."  
"You weren't here when that happened. She wouldn't have been able to hurt me!! You didn't need to power up for that!! You were protecting me just fine without fucking some random strangers for their souls!!"  
“Thank you. It’s nice to hear you recognise that.” As hands found his shoulders, beginning to rub circles into them over the t-shirt, did his words register in his brain, but it was too late. "But you need to calm down. That’s enough shouting for one night.”

His eyes felt heavy as the aura flooded his system, the hands that were now against his upper arms as opposed to his shoulders, continued the slow action of soothing circles. Levi's head hung forwards as his mind became dizzyingly confused. "Sorry... For shouting..." He breathed in quietly, leaning into the touch of Eren's hands on him, his eyes slipping closed as sleep became a forefront of his mind over the fact that he hadn't eaten anything but Chinese that morning, and hadn't even finished that.

Eren freed his hands from the cuffs there, once he knew he wasn’t going to fall sideways. His right wrist went to his left hand and he rubbed instinctively at the chaffed flesh and wanted nothing more than to go get the cream from the bathroom he kept for such small injuries. He did his ankles, but his plan to get up was halted as he was pulled down gently and Eren hooked a leg over his hip, pulling him close. He rested his forehead against Eren's neck and his arms tucked up to his arm cheat, between them both. 

"It's okay. I’m sorry for hurting you, too. I promise I’ll make it up to you. Just don’t scare me anymore. Don’t leave me again.”   
"I won't..."

He wouldn't purely because he was afraid something worse would happen if he did. Levi honestly didn't want to go through that again. He didn't want to wake up panicked, scared, and ultimately alone. He didn't want Eren to go out and get laid by multiple people and leave him here chained up. 

"Eren my ankles hurt..." By all rights, everything hurt given he'd not stood up almost for the entire day, but his ankles and wrists hurt the most, given they'd been running against the fabric Eren had wrapped around the metal to stop him hurting himself and all the pulling he'd been doing. He thought he'd make it known, rather than sitting in silence, that he was in pain and rather needed the stuff Hanji had given him to help speed up healing. After the whole mess with Jean, he didn't want to take a chance someone else would see and take it upon themselves to help, not when Eren has said he only needed to ask. He didn't want to get hurt again, or for someone else to get hurt because of him.

"Okay.. just give me a minute." Levi nodded slightly as Eren untangled himself and moved off the bed. Now given the opportunity to move, he did so, using the bedside table to steady himself as his muscles protested him standing. He stretched with a small sigh, stretching his arms upwards as the muscles protested and groaned beneath his skin. He felt better for standing, tingles going all through his body. 

As Eren wandered back in the room with the things he went to collect, Levi sat back down, shuffling more on to the bed as he watched Eren sit next to him, holding out his hand. 

"Wrists first? I'll make sure I get everything since you asked." his wrists weren't as bad as his ankles, but he wasn't about to pass up the opportunity of his wrists getting seen to as well. He held his hand out and Eren took it carefully, uncapping the lid within the hand and smearing a good amount on two fingers.   
"Thank you.."

Eren was slow and thorough with his small circular movements over the inflamed patches, pressing a kiss to each wrist once he was finished and eventually swapping his attention to Levi's ankles, which looked worse off as he pulled the Nephilim's legs into his lap to get a better look at them before getting to work on them too.

"If you want me to give those contracts up, I will. I don't want you to think their souls are more important to me than yours, or than you being happy."   
  
He was staring down at his ankles as Eren's hands worked over them. The feel and attention was well needed and he wasn't even aware that he wanted it so much. 

"You'd do that?"  
"If you want me to."  
"Why? Wouldn't you have more power with the three that you have??"  
"I do, yes. But if it makes you unhappy then it's not really worth it. As you said, I was doing a good enough job of protecting you without them." He saw Eren shrug and it caused him glance up slightly, before looking back to his ankles as Eren started on the other. He flinched slightly as fingers worked against the red line. "The good thing about contracts is I can always just make more if I need this power later."

"And..." He stopped himself from speaking, a small frown on his face as Eren's fingers kept up their movements.   
"Hmmm?"   
"And... If... I asked you not to... Make more contracts, that is..." Eren sighed, realising that Levi hadn't known what he meant when he'd said 'later'. Later meant in the event of an emergency. Even just the one extra contract would be enough, he just liked taking things to excesses to know that he could.  
"Then I won't. It's kind of cute, you getting jealous over me." he replied, grinning as he ran his fingers thoughtfully up Levi's calf, all done with his ankles. He still didn't mind getting up to get Levi some food if he wanted it, but somehow he figured that would class as babying when Levi didn't need it. He was perfectly capable of cooking for himself when he wanted to. "There. You're all done. Thank you for asking me this time."

Grey eyes looked up towards Eren's sea green ones. The word 'jealous' rang out through his mind. 

"You're welcome..." He looked back to Eren's hands on his leg, his trouser leg pushed up and the teen's hand gently running up and down in. It was calming, soothing.

Was he really jealous? 

"I'm not jealous." He didn't sound convincing in the slightest to himself, so he had no hope of fooling the demon sat running his fingers gently across his skin. "Don't know what you mean."  
"Of course." As expected, Eren was quite obviously unconvinced. “It's not a bad thing if you are, you know?"  
"Doesn't matter because I'm not jealous." He was still looking towards Eren's fingers gently running across the back of his calf. It made his skin gain goosebumps.  
"You might not be 'jealous' but you're certainly cute."  
"I'm not cute either."

He might as well have been pouting as he spoke, pulling his leg from Eren's grasp and shuffling towards the side of the bed, rather tense with a small frown on his face.

The demon laughed at that, instantly pouncing on Levi as he tried to shuffle further away, his hands settling on the tops of his shoulders and pressing down to get him to sit again as he went back to rubbing circles in the tense muscle between his shoulder blades through his t-shirt in an effort to carry on taking care of the Nephilim's tension now that he'd started.

"What other people call grumpy, I call cute. Now shush and let me finish what I started." he replied playfully, kissing the nape of his neck and then nuzzling closer as his hands moved slightly further down Levi's back once he could feel that his shoulders were a little better to work out all the tension down his spine completely, thoroughly enjoying the quiet noises and appreciative sighs Levi was trying and failing to keep down as he leant back a little into the touch despite wanting to avoid anything that would comply with Eren's assessment of him as 'cute'.

The demon didn't stop until he was finished all the way down and was running his hands over the material of Levi's t-shirt in order to flatten out the rumpled material, smiling and wrapping his arms loosely around Levi's waist as the Nephilim sank back against his chest.

"Seriously, though, if you want to eat something, now would be a good time. Otherwise, I'm going to cling to you and fall asleep.”  
"Well. I already tried to get up and you pulled me right back here."  
"Are you complaining?" He really couldn't say no to the affectionate massage he had been receiving. It felt too good to move, but he's not eaten since early that morning with Eren.  
"No... But are you going to stop me getting a sandwich??"  
"No, I'm not."  
"Then I'll be back soon. Promise." He moved away again, sliding off the bed and heading to the door slowly, rubbing his eyes as he went. 

He got to the kitchen and moved to the draw that held cutlery. He paused, glancing to the sink to see one of Eren's hunting knives in the sink. Was that what he'd used to kill the person he brought back here?

Did he kill him over the sink to save creating a mess?? He stared at it for a moment as he pulled a knife from the draw, eyes still transfixed. He looked away, grabbing bread from the side before looking back towards the sink. He couldn't look away while he knew it was there. 

Levi dropped the half loaf, moving towards the bedroom door again and avoiding Eren's gaze as he sat back down on the bed. There was a pause as Levi lay down, looking towards the wall with Eren behind him.

"Do you want me to move it?"  
"No. It doesn't matter. I've seen it now." He was still somewhat hungry, but it was nothing that couldn't wait till morning. "I just want to sleep." He wanted to put this day thoroughly behind him and wanted tomorrow to bring a better day with a better turn of events over being chained to a bed for half the day.  
"I'll just be a minute."

As Eren left the room, he looked up slightly to see him leave, relaxing back into the covers and the mattress after he was out of his line of vision. 

He still couldn't get his head around Eren killing innocent people. That wasn't Eren. It just wasn't. It was hard to comprehend because the teen was always the one to save innocent lives first. He was always the one to go in guns blazing to try and save as many people as he possibly could. Eren had always been the one most affected by the loss of human lives. 

It didn't take the demon all that long to come back, and with the joy of not one, but two ham sandwiches. Levi perked up considerably there, sitting crossed legged with the plate in front of him and was rather quick to devour them both after a small thank you. That's what he got for only eating half the Chinese he played up this morning. 

He gave a small, rather happy sigh as he relaxed under the covers, Eren pulling him closer and then snuggling down. Levi fell asleep somewhat quickly, despite his earlier nap, the demonic aura that was currently his whole sensory world and Eren's body next to him, helping him drift off and stay that way, a thankfully dreamless sleep captured his mind.


	19. Chapter 19

He slept a dreamless sleep, one of which he was under for the count. It wasn't until an hour after Eren had woken that his body was ready to wake. All that met his vision was red. He knew that red.

It was then his arms moved, feeling them out to his sides, hands near to the headboard. The sound of metal becoming taut suddenly sounded through the room and he made a noise in protest. He did the same with his legs, moving them and finding them to be in the same situation. He couldn't close them, his legs slightly spread to accommodate the metal around his ankles, but not uncomfortable.

Levi couldn't help but try to move his head enough to dislodge the blindfold across his face, but the attempt only served in messing up his hair into even more of a bedhead style that it had been. It was secure enough to not dislodge, and enough that it was better to keep his eyes closed than open and try to blink underneath it. "Eren?? What's going on?? Why can't I move?!"

The demon had settled at the end of the bed, sat with his legs crossed under him between Levi's calves given that the metal around his ankles was meaning that his legs were at a slight spread. His attention had been mostly on his drawing until he felt Levi stir and then move more definitely, testing the limits of the bindings. Smiling, he set the sketchbook down and crawled on his hands and knees up Levi's body, fingers carefully carding through Levi's hair in an attempt to get it back a little less messy and more how it had looked when he had started to draw.

"Not fun, is it? I wonder how you'd feel if I threatened to call Petra now? Probably something like how I felt yesterday, I imagine." The small kiss to his neck was the last thing he felt before Eren cut all contact. He could feel where he was sat, the bed dipping between his legs. He pulled his left arm again so the chain became taut. "I'm just sitting here drawing you. No-one is going to hurt you, and I won't leave you alone till we're done, I promise."  
"Drawing me?" While he was chained to the bed, blindfolded and only in his underwear?? It made him nauseous as he fell still, turning his head to the side and pulling with his legs again, the metal biting into his skin as he did so. No this couldn't be happening, not after yesterday. It just couldn't. He fell still as he heard Eren’s voice, his eyes screwed shut under the blindfold.   
"Yes. I've done it a lot before, why are you surprised?"

His right arm pulled harshly, the noise sounding through the room as he followed the action up by doing the same again straight with his left. There was no chance he was getting free without Eren undoing then for him, and he didn't think that was going to happen.

What happened when he was done drawing?? Was he just going to leave him here chained up and alone?? That's what he’d taken from the demon's words at least. He moved his head again, trying once more to work the blindfold off as his limbs tugged at the chains as his breathing started to become quicker. Levi hadn't taken away Eren's sight when he'd done it, the thought never even crossed his mind. "Let. Me. Go." His words were accented by a tug of a different limb before he pulled his right leg last, determined to not stay chained to the bed.

The only response Eren gave was a faint chuckle as he felt Levi struggle, knowing that he was never going to get anywhere. The irony of seeing him tied down with the same restraints he'd used on him was highly amusing. Not to mention the thought of seeing a capable killer like Levi completely helpless and domesticated because of something he'd done was hotter than hell. Maybe Armin was right and he was a little on the sick side.

"Not till we're done," he replied evenly, clearly completely unmoved by Levi's attempt to get free. "The more you struggle the longer it's going to take me to get a sketch I like. You’re in those nice Enochian cuffs you had me strapped up in. You aren't getting out." The unspoken suggestion being that Levi should find something else to do with his time, like thinking why exactly that the demon had thought it necessary to do this to him in the first place. 

He pulled at his arm again, hands balled into fists as the metal sliced into his wrist, making him hiss and his body flinch. His face turned towards it reflexively, even if he couldn't see. 

He finally fell still after he hurt himself, twitching every so often as if he wanted to start tugging on the restraints again. "How did you even put these on me?" His words were low, anger coating them as his right hand wrapped around the length chain he could reach to stop his wrist being snagged again where he could feel blood. "It..." He stopped himself from speaking, clamping his teeth shut as his hand clenched around the metal and his left balled into a tight fist, fighting back the thought of hoping to hell it had hurt to restrain him. "I was only trying to help you!"  
"You sleep like the dead these days, pet, it wasn't exactly hard. Plus, gloves are a great invention," he noted amusedly, shrugging. He half wanted to abandon the drawing and crawl back over him, claim that snarky mouth for his own and draw an entire different set of sounds out of the bound Nephilim, but he resisted the urge. This was still supposed to be a punishment, just not one that would leave physical marks like the last one. "And I don't know how selling me out to Hanji classes as helping. How long do you think it would be before she started injecting me with holy water or something to see if I reacted normally? I really don't fancy dying in a basement."  
"She wouldn't have. She'd have only wanted to help you. Make you better."

He knew Hanji. If he asked her too she wouldn't do it. She'd focus on trying to fix him, over experimenting. She was his best friend, one that had come to his aid yesterday but hadn't seen a goddamn thing. His body had gone lax, head still tilted to the side in a vague half-assed attempt to hide his face, but couldn't bend that way to do so. He wanted this to end. 

"I'm already _better_ . Why is it that everyone seems to think I was better before? It's annoying.."  
"Because before, you wouldn't have done this without at least asking. He wouldn't have..." His words trailed off as his throat constricted and he had to swallow several times to clear the lump in his throat. He pulled slightly at the chain he was still holding in his right hand, metal clinking as he did so. 

"Why would I ask for what I want when I can just take it? It's not like I'm hurting you."  
"You shouldn't just take. That's not what a relationship is."  
"Of course it is. As long as you're not trying to kill me you can take what you want from me too, right? That's fair." 

Except in Levis' book that wasn't fair. That's not how relationships worked in his mind. They weren't all take take take, they were mutual understanding and affection. Knowing what you were doing was ok, knowing that what you were doing was accepted. 

Levi stayed quiet after that, licking his lips slightly and falling still, hoping beyond hope he'd just fall asleep and not have to endure this any longer as his eyes stayed closed under the blindfold. His hand stayed clenched around the chain, his other becoming a loose claw.

He went still, kept awake by sudden strokes to his thighs every now and then, so his hopes to fall asleep were thrown right out of the window. It always made him twitch, his mind becoming fully awake as it happened. He honestly didn't know how much time had passed, but he stayed still for the duration of it. Bar once, when he'd moved purely because his limbs were going incredibly stiff thanks to not falling asleep and not being able to move. 

When Levi felt Eren shift, crawling on top of him he tensed considerably. "I'm done now. Would you like me to let you go?" He felt kisses against his collarbone, and soon a finger against the material covering his eyes.   
"Yes."  
"Then tell me... why do you think I did this?"  
"Because you're sadistic." He pulled on his restraints, trying to pull away from the demon that sat atop him.   
"Maybe a little, but that's not the right answer. Try again."  
"I'm not playing this game. Just let me go."  
"Oh, but you are. I can keep you here as long as it takes for you to answer me." 

He stayed quiet for a moment, Eren staying on top of him as he swallowed thickly. "Why do you want me to answer you?" Part of him didn't want to give Eren the satisfaction of him answering, but he knew full well he wasn't going to be unchained unless he played along with this. 

"Because if you don't know what I did this for then it's kind of pointless, isn't it?"  
"Then it's pointless."  
"Oh? So you really don't know? Really can't figure it out?"  
"You've had me chained here for who knows how long, I think that's satisfaction enough."

His voice showed just how done he was, the blank tone sounding from his mouth as he head stayed tilted to the side. His body had become completely slack now, too, stiff and sore and half tired as he'd almost drifted off during the few hours Eren was drawing only to be pulled back to being awake. 

"So do you want me to satisfy you now instead? That's cute. But the truth is you're there because.. well... did you really think I'd let stringing me up go unpunished, pet?"

He stayed silent, focusing on keeping his breathing even and consistent instead of thinking too much on the word 'unpunished'. He stayed as still as he could after his hands curled around the metal chains connected to the cuffs around his wrists. His arms protested the movement with soreness, but he followed it through anyway, keeping his mouth firmly shut. 

He actually had thought he'd got away with it, and given that he knew why this had happened, he didn't want to verbalise it on his end, given Eren that bit more power over him by making him play along with such a game as he'd offered.

He received no response to that at all, but it didn't bother him. He was done, and quite happy to let Levi have the rest of the day to himself because he was pretty sure he'd made his point. The apartment was still locked with Eren the sole possessor of the door keys, the Nephilim unable to leave except if he tried to fly his way out, and he was probably too tired and sore for that right now. It wasn't like he could go anywhere.

Leaning forwards slightly, he undid the knot keeping the blindfold in place and carefully put it back in the drawer, waiting for Levi's eyes to adjust to the light so that he could see what was coming before he picked the collar up from the bedside table where Levi had left it so he could sleep. As soon as he realised what was coming, the Nephilim was struggling beneath his weight again, tugging on the chains and shifting his head in an attempt to make it a lot harder for Eren to put it on him.

It didn't help in the long run, though, Eren gripping his jaw forcefully to lock their eyes and keep him still while he slipped the collar on and fastened it in place. He smirked, knowing he'd more or less won already, but didn't loosen his grip, the pad of his thumb tracing slowly over Levi's bottom lip. Even in blind frustration he still looked stunning.

"Okay, since I had to tell you the answer to that one, let's try a different question. An easier one. Tell me who owns you, Levi. Tell me and I'll let you go and leave you alone for the rest of the day unless you want something from me."  
"No..." He spoke softly when Eren's thumb traced to the corner of his mouth. 

No, he wasn't playing this game. He'd said he wasn't. He wasn't going to give in to the pressure of it. He didn't need to verbalise what he was starting to fear. That only helped make it that one bit more real, and that's something he didn't want to let happen. 

"No? I suggest you take a moment to think about that. Are you really in any position to be refusing me right now?"  
"I..." His eyes darted between Eren's as his words were lost in his throat. He didn't want to say what he knew Eren wanted to hear. "No. I don't want to take a moment. Just... Just because you put a collar on me... that doesn't make me yours."  
"I know. That's why I want to hear you say it for me."  
"I'm not saying anything for you." He refused to acknowledge that he was explicitly Eren's 'pet', as he liked to call him often.   
"It's not that hard. It's two words. Two words you already said once before." 

Last time he'd said the words Eren was looking for, they'd meant something completely different. For starters, he thought he'd get the Nephilim back that he'd come to fall for hard over the years, rather than this morphed version of the teen. "With a completely different meaning."   
"But you still did it. Are two little words not worth your freedom right now?"  
"If I say them, I'll never be free again..."  
"That's not such a bad thing."  
"Yes, it is..."

Without his freedom, he didn't have much to go on. He didn't like being caged and tied down, physically and metaphorically. Without his freedom, their wings meant nothing to him. Not being free to do as he pleased, to do everything he wanted to do... Eren might as well have just taken his wings from him. He drew the eyes away completely, looking downtrodden and defeated, and he hadn't even said what Eren wanted to hear. It was purely over the thought of lacking his freedom that cussed the look on his face. He never wanted that glen way from him, and here it was, about to be taken from him by force.

"Why? What are you so scared of?" he asked, genuinely wondering why Levi thought he would be any less free with him protecting him. They were still going to hunt as normal as soon as Levi was up to it, and really if it weren't for the Nephilim being so stubborn and refusing him so often their lives wouldn't be that different from what they'd had before at all.

He felt like he was at a loss for words. Every thought in his head was jumbled, fighting the need to be said as everything ran amok in his mind. He finally settled on the bluntest answer he could give. "Of losing everything."  
"I wouldn't let you do that."  
"You're the one taking everything away, why would you stop it?"

"So what do you think yesterday was then? Was that taking everything away?" Levi shook his head gently, no yesterday's hadn't been like that at all. Yesterday had been nice. It had been the kind of day that he'd missed having. Everything had almost felt normal like everything was fake with the world.   
"Yesterday I wasn't chained to a bed."  
"My point is I don't just take everything from you. I can give you things back, too. If you let me."  
"I don't need rewarding for good behaviour." He almost spat the words as he yanked his head out of Eren's grasp, turning to look at his upper arm, and then to the wall on the far left of the room. He could easily get out of this predicament, but he refused to give that part of himself over to Eren in such a way as this. His stubbornness was shining through like a beacon right now and it was hard to stop once he started. 

"That wasn't a 'reward', I was trying to be nice. You felt guilty and bad about yourself and I wanted that to stop."  
"Then did this!!!"  
"So lie. I don't care if it's a lie, as long as I get to hear you say you're mine, I'll be happy."  
"And if you don't?"  
"Then we stay here until you do."

He tried to fight, his head being yanked back so he was looking towards Eren again, the faze he met one of certainty that went clear with the words that he was given. 

"We?" Levi rather had his doubts that Eren would stay with him. Though he had half expected him to leave him here he second he started defying what it was he wanted him to do. Instead, they were still here, Eren still straddling his thighs and trying to coax the answers he wanted out of him.   
"I'm not going to leave you here on your own."  
"Really?" The one word question did little to hide the slight shock that went through him, showing that that was clearly not what he expected to happen at all.   
"Of course not."  
"Why? You could be doing something far more interesting than torturing me."  
"You're right, I could be doing something far more interesting _with_ you."

Levi shifted uncomfortably at the responses tugging on the chains again with his arms and feet, doing his best not to dislodge Eren and send him flying forwards. He was starting to get to the point where he secretly needed to move, and it was giving him the need to just say the words in a bold faced lie so he could get up off the bed. Even if he probably would fall from lack of use of his limbs for what felt like several hours. He was silent for a minute or so as his eyes searched Eren's, finally his mouth moving to speak, thoroughly ignoring that Eren could think of more interesting things to do with Levi himself. 

"You don't care if I am lying??"  
"No. I don't care if it's a lie at first. It'll become the truth one day."  
"It won't become truth."  
"I guess we'll wait and see about that."

He hesitated for a moment, before sighing and trying to turn his head away, Eren not having any of it and studiously keeping their eyes locked. As the sigh drew to silence the lie passed his lips, the words Eren wanted to hear. 

"I'm yours..."

Although the words were hesitant and a little sullen, and Levi had tried to avoid his eyes, although he knew it was a lie, he still felt instantly elated that he'd managed to break his pride and get him to say them. It was certainly a step forwards even if the payoff was that he left him alone for the rest of the day.

The happiness that hit him stunned him, the lips meeting his own for a fleeting second making him flinch slightly. He soon tilted his head to watch the progress of Eren unchaining him, bringing stiff arms to his chest, left hand rubbing at his right wrist, wincing at the cuts there thanks to his own struggling. 

Once Eren was off him, he swung his legs over the side of the bed, using the nightstand to stabilise himself as he stood on stiff and sore limbs. It was like he'd slept on both his legs as he walked towards the door to the bathroom. He shut it behind him quickly, leaning against the back of it as he rested his head back against it. He didn't want to have to go through that again if he could help it. And at the end of the day, it was his own fault he was tied up longer anyway, for refusing to give it to Eren and his needs. 

Levi relieved himself and washed his hands, looking to his wrists and ankles. His right ankle had gained a scratch as well, though not as bad as his wrist, which had ended up crusted in blood. He washed it carefully, putting cream on to it once it was dry, to try and help soothe it and promote its healing. It was something Hanji had given him for such injuries way back when while he was with Erwin, he just got her to top it up every time he was running low. 

When he headed back to the bedroom, Eren was nowhere to be seen, meaning he could pull on clothes similar to what he was in yesterday bar the shirt was slate grey, in peace and quiet and no watchful eyes. He looked to the bedspread, seeing red on the white of one of the pillows. He stripped it off quickly, the blood-spattered across the pillowcase from his wrist balled up and placed under his arm as he grabbed another one from the wardrobe. He pulled the pillowcase over the pillow after checking and making sure no blood had gone through, before heading to the kitchen and throwing the old case into the washing machine with a few extra whites from his wash basket.

* * *

The two of them spent the next few days until the weekend rolled around going through the same cycle, Levi waking up tied and blindfolded and Eren content to leave him there for a few hours alone with his thoughts, staying within earshot the whole time so that he could call if he needed anything. Eventually, though, he would always go back. Always ask the same question and after less and less coaxing get the response he was looking for. He was going the hard way about it, but Levi was starting to learn.

  
So by the time Saturday rolled around he woke, groggy and expecting to be laid out flat on his back spread-eagled. But what he was expecting hadn't happened. He was curled up on his side, still snuggled under the duvet, holding it close to his chin. Levi's eyes were heavy, and the time on his digital clock on his nightstand read just after 10. 

If he wasn't tied up, was Eren still sleeping? He glanced over his shoulder to find the teen not there and it prompted him to sit upright, stretching his arms up as the duvet cover fell from around him. He yawned widely as he glanced around, eyes resting on the door. "Eren?" He strained his voice as he called out, rather needing a drink to ease the dryness of his throat.

He didn't get a response and a frown covered his face. Had Eren gone out and left him here? That didn't seem right after the last few days. 

He pulled himself from beneath the covers, his bare feet hitting the ground softly as he walked to the doorway in just his boxers. He glanced around from where he could see, looking across his apartment only to see a piece of folded paper that shouldn't be there on the kitchen counter. He moved across to it, reading Eren's handwriting and placing it back down carefully. It made sense that they needed food. Levi himself had barely been eating, but he had been eating the odd thing while Eren was properly. 

  
An hour later, he was showered and dressed, hair now dry and sat curled up on the sofa with a book, lost in the fantasy world the pages were setting the story too. That was, until a beat of wind made the doors to the balcony rattle, startling him as he looked around. 

Jean was stood, wings folding in behind him and a hand on the handle, trying to open the locked door. "Jean..?"  
"Levi let me in." He stared for a moment, wondering if he should, but logic took over and he placed his book down, heading towards the kitchen and opening a drawer of odds and ends. He reached in carefully, right to the back, and stuck to the underside of the counter inside the draw was a small key he pulled off the sticky tack he'd stuck it there with during him not having any memories. Apparently it was a good thing to do when you were human. He was pretty sure Eren didn't know about it, purely because it was still there. 

He was quick to head back across to Jean, unlocking the door and letting the rather out of breath Nephilim into the apartment. "Is everything ok? You sound out of breath."  
"Well, it was kind of a rushed trip." He followed Jean's gaze to the balcony door as the male paused, Levi taking that chance to look out into the clear blue sky. The breeze felt amazing. "That's.. odd. Didn't this used to always be unlocked?"  
"Oh... Eren didn't want it being unlocked, where anyone could just walk through it." He didn't think that that sounded great in terms of what he could have said, but that was the first thing that came to mind. Security of the home. Great. And given the look he was getting from Jean, he was pretty sure he saw right through it. 

"Jaeger, heh. Hopefully, he's got his head straight by now. Anyway.. that's not what I came for. Do you want to come spend the night with me and Marco? We were thinking we hadn't seen you around for ages and I still owe you a pizza or something for not kicking my ass given how our hunts turned out.." Pizza? Leave the apartment? _For the whole night?_ He didn't know if he should or not, looking from Jean back to the now open balcony doors, and revelling at how inviting the fresh air felt. Eren wouldn't like him leaving without him...

"I don't think that's possible..."  
"Why not? What's one night going to hurt? You can leave Eren a note, right?"  
"I suppose... Why are you even inviting me round for food? You never have before now and we've not been hunting together for a while..." 

It seemed odd, Jean just showing up here out of the blue while Eren wasn't home, asking him to go round to his and Marco's pace for an entire day and night. Did he know that Eren wasn't here? Is that why he rushed so much to get here?? His heart suddenly clenched as it clicked that Jean was obviously trying to help, in a roundabout way. Did he know everything that was happening?? Why hadn't he gone to Hanji?? He wished he could ask, but if he asked and said anything regarding Eren, he knew the teen would be angry and he didn't want Jean, or Marco for that matter, to get the brunt of that anger.

"Well, maybe the fact that I never have is something I want to change. But if you want to stay here with Eren all weekend.."  
"No." He spoke without thinking, knowing deep down that he needed to, want to leave overtaking his voice. He cleared his throat slightly, trying to backtrack. "I mean... I've been here all week with him..."  
"Exactly. So you can take some time apart. Heck, spend the time sleeping if you want, no offence but you look like you haven't slept in a week."  
"I... Sure. Let me get sorted."  
"Okay. I'll just wait out here."

Levi watched Jean retreat back outside and pull out his phone, leaning against the balcony, looking to the sky. He moved away from the sofa, key still clutched in his fist as he did so, replacing it where he got it from and headed to the phone, pulling a sticky note from it after writing a quick note to Eren. He stuck it to the fridge, knowing he'd see it if he'd gone grocery shopping and looked at it for a minute. It said where he was and that he'd use Jean's phone if he needed him. He nodded to himself fishing out socks, then pulled on his boots. 

He didn't take anything with him and Jean nodded as he joined him on the balcony, the taller male jumping from the railing and taking flight. Levi closed the glass doors carefully, taking one last look in to the apartment. A deep breath later he was in the air, all thoughts and worries gone as he was finally airborne for the first time in what seemed like forever. He suddenly realised how much he missed flying, and Jean seemed to notice that, the man clearly taking a less direct route given how Levi was flying slow and clearly just enjoying the air whipping through his hair and past his wings.

  
  
  


Once they got to the building that housed the 104th unit, they landed on the roof and headed downwards, Jean and Marco living near the top of the building. Levi was quiet as they walked down, Jean opening the door quickly and shutting it behind Levi. 

“Lance Corporal!” Marcos' voice was surprised, Levi smiling a little. Clearly, Marco hadn’t thought Jean would be able to get Levi here.  
“Please, Levi is just fine.”   
“Levi.” Marco smiled back happily, “would you like a drink?”   
“Sure.”  
  
It didn’t take long at all for Levi to fall asleep on the end of the sofa, cup still held by his fingertips resting against the sofa cushion he was on. Jean stood watching him from the doorway to the kitchen, Levi being in the lounge. Marco was behind him, doing dishes. “There could be a lot of reasons why he’s so tired, you know.” 

“I don't buy the whole ‘he's a busy guy’ angle, Marco. It's more than just tired.”   
“Well, watching him isn’t going to help him much. Come help me.” Jean sighed, pushing off the doorframe and turning, closing the door slightly so they didn’t wake Levi up. A towel was soon in hand and he was drying what Marco was washing. 

“I am surprised though,” Marco mused quietly, Jean looking at him pointedly, “that he fell asleep here. It’s not like him. He’s normally so… on edge in a different environment.”   
“There’s something wrong. I know there is.”   
“It was quick to. It wasn’t like it took him a while. Almost as soon as his head hit the back of the sofa he was out like a light.”   
“You should have seen him at his place. He was so unsure about what to do. Like he needed to ask Eren’s permission to leave the apartment. To even _talk_ to me.”   
“That doesn’t sound like something Eren would want.”   
“No. It doesn’t. Can you order two pizzas?”

They carried on the task of washing up together slowly, soon talking about what pizza Levi would want. They’d need to wake Levi up at some point. Jean wanted to make damn sure he got food in him. Marco ordered pizza while Jean took it upon himself to lean in the doorway again, keeping an eye on Levi, who didn’t seem to be having the greatest sleep as he watched him twitch.  
  
“He’s not got the collar on.”   
“What?”   
“That collar Jaeger was wearing. Then Levi. He’s not wearing it.”   
“So?” Marco seemed even more confused now.   
“Soooo. It was part of their deal or whatever. That Levi keeps it on.”   
“Maybe he showered and forgot to put it back on?” Jean hummed in response to that, looking to the TV that was still on, showing some random cooking show with the volume down. 

  
At 5:30 PM, Levi was stirred awake by a loud buzzer sounding through the apartment, blinking lazily as he pushed his head up from the arm of the sofa. "We ordered for you, we didn't want to wake you..." It was Marco, sitting next to him on the sofa with a kind smile and holding a glass of fruity looking liquid.   
"I'm sorry I fell asleep.." He moved his legs so they weren't curled up next to him and instead over the edge of the sofa and touching the floor.   
"You don't need to apologise. You looked exhausted when you got here."  
"Pizza time!!" Jean made his appearance there, having gone down to get the pizza, walking through the door with a stack of boxes and a bag with dips and drinks in. He placed them down carefully and flashed a smile towards Levi. "Hope sleeping beauty likes pepperoni." He nodded sleepily, moving a cushion to sit on to the floor, his legs underneath the coffee table. 

He managed a couple of slices and some potato wedges, pushing the box away from himself after that. Though Jean and Marco both left an entire pizza well enough alone, a mutual agreement having taken place while he was sleeping. They'd shared a large pizza, just so Levi could eat as much as he'd wanted. After an hour, he reached for the box again after Marco started eating some brownies that they'd ordered as well, Levi eating a further 2 slices and finishing off the box of wedges and downing some cola to boot. 

He was stuffed, leaning back against the sofa, still on the floor and watching some form of action film Jean had put on. Levi was soon back up on the sofa, trying to occupy as little space as possible as Jean was near the middle, Levi leaning against the back of the sofa with his legs crossed, drifting in and out of consciousness. 

It didn't take him long to start shivering when he was barely awake, moving so he was laying down comfortably, and unfortunately, that meant with his head in a now flustered teens lap. He went still, falling asleep rather quickly, especially when Marco made matters worse for Jean and draped a fluffy blanket over the sleeping Lance Corporal. "Don't make him comfier!" Jean whisper hissed to Marco, who was smiling a small, happy smile.   
"You don't mind when I do it."  
"That's you, you dolt. Not the Lance freaking Corporal!" Said male shifted slightly in his sleep, getting comfier as his hand moved to rest on Jean's knee, Marco laughing behind his hand slightly.   
"What would you do if it were me?"  
"No chance in hell."  
"He's just a guy like everyone else, Jean. Even Heavens Strongest needs a little comfort every now and then. Otherwise, he wouldn’t need Eren." 

Marco turned his back to start clearing the boxes away after turning down the movie a touch. 

Jean seemed to hesitate as Levi flinched in his sleep, clearly not sleeping all that well without the constant aura that Eren provided to push away anything bad while he was sleeping. But after another flinch and Levi’s hand increasing its grip on Jean's knee, fingers slowly started carding their way through silky black hair, Levi claiming down visibly after a short while, his breathing becoming even deeper as he slept. 

  
The knock at the door didn't wake him, nor did the conversation between Eren and Marco, and then Jean piping up to draw Eren's attention. What did make him stir, was Jean shifting slightly to reach for his drink that was further away from him than the pizza box was about 10 minutes after Eren got there. A small noise sounded in his throat and he blinked his eyes open lazily, pushing up from Jean's lap carefully. "You can sleep through the film and talking but the slightest movement and you wake up."

Grey eyes looked to Jean, then down at the blanket that fell from his shoulders as he sat up fully. They'd given him a blanket? That made his heart flutter since he knew they hadn't had to do such a thing. "Look who came looking for you." He looked around, seeing Eren sat nearby in an armchair with Macro lent if against its arm. The green eyes were what he noticed first, then the panicked demeanour. 

"E-Eren..?"

Eren's eyes widened a fraction as he heard the sleepy utterance of his name, and then he looked away, having to take a slow, shaky breath in and out. He was still a little panicked and honestly had fully intended to leave Levi exactly where he was. If he wanted to walk out on him, then fine. God only knew he had probably done something to deserve it.

"Levi.. You left." There was a long pause after the words as he tried to swallow down the tense, sad feeling permeating his entire being and failing pathetically. "I didn't know where you were.. so I.." he was aware that his voice was shaking, and he cut himself off, shaking his head and getting to his feet. There wasn't enough room for both of them to sleep here, not really. He'd be better off going home. "Nevermind. Just stay here. Now I know you're safe you don't have to come back."

Of course, what he really meant was now I know you're safe from _me_ , but he didn't want to explicitly say that around Jean and Marco. Not just yet. Levi would understand what he meant just fine.

"You only just got here." Jean muttered, firing him a questioning look. "There's no need to rush off anywhere."  
"No, Jean. I should definitely go," he replied, trying to fake a smile and only half succeeding as he headed for the door.

He couldn't understand. He'd left Eren a note to tell him where he'd gone and how to contact him. But... This wasn't the demon he was watching try and leave. "No. Eren. Wait." He saw Eren come to a stop. "Please don't leave. I'm sorry. I left a note, I thought you'd see it on the fridge. I didn't mean to worry you." It was strange, seeing him so worried without the anger, it only reinforcing the fact that both parts of Eren didn't want anything bad to happen to him. Wanted to keep him safe. he scooted to the edge of the sofa, eyes on Eren's as he turned around, wishing he'd stay and curl up on the sofa with him. Jean and Marco looked ready for hitting the hay anyway so they'd be fine here. 

"Note? If there was a note I wouldn't have waited for you for hours... I thought you'd.." Eren cutting himself off made him move to stand, abandoning Jean on the sofa along with the blanket.   
“I saw him leave one on the fridge, Eren..” Jean added to the conversation, clearly confused as to how Eren hadn’t found it. Eren seemed to ignore him.  
"Besides, you look tired, and we can't both sleep here."  
"Then I'll come home. I was planning on coming back in the morning. I promise you."  
"Then do that. I'll sleep alone. I told you it's fine already."

"Levi, Jaeger said it was fine, stay. You're in no fit state to fly home." Levi looked to Jean when he spoke, shaking his head.   
"No. He needs me. I'm going home." He moved away and past Eren, slipping his boots on quickly and lacing them as best he could. He knew it was going to be freezing outside, but screw it. He knew full well it wasn't fine and this was the Nephilim, he couldn’t let that side of Eren walk away from him. "Thank you," he looked to Jean and then Marco, Jean now standing next to the freckled teen, "it really meant a lot, you inviting me over... I'll see you soon...?"  
"Yeah, sure thing." He nodded to Jean as he spoke, taking Eren's hand in his own and linking their fingers together, pulling him gently to the door.   
"Come on, let's go home."

Eren nodded, forcing himself to take a deep breath. He barely remembered anything and was now sure that he'd probably made more out of the whole situation than had been necessary. The note must have just fallen off the fridge, that was all. And here he was, fretting like he didn't trust Levi to come back home. There was also the feeling that he didn't really want to go back himself, because since he apparently moved back in everything had just got increasingly worse for both of them. 

By the time he'd got to the roof he'd already turned and taken his coat off, the thick black one that went with the rest of his hunting gear being the first thing he had picked up before he headed out the door. Smiling and quiet, he held it out in Levi's direction, Levi almost refused it, but the look on the teens face made him think otherwise, putting it on before letting his wings show. It woke him up considerably, them flying back to their apartment, but the second they touched down on the balcony a good 15 minutes later, he swayed as he stood still.

Eren led the way in, Levi following sluggishly behind. The door was shut behind him and he made his way, still in Eren's jacket, towards the bedroom. "Are you going to bed?" He stopped as Eren's words hit his ears, looking to the other as he edged towards the sofa. 

"No... I can join you out here, if that's ok?" He saw Eren nod slightly and he took that as confirmation, turning back around to get changed. He may as well change out of jeans now he had that option. 

On the Eren front, he was determined to spend as much time as possible with the Nephilim before the demon inevitably took over, so he changed as quickly as he could, leaving his clothes folded on the bed along with Eren's jacket. The padded out into the living, seeing Eren trying to impersonate a caterpillar with the duvet it made him smile, and he sat on the edge, looking towards him. "Is there room in there for one more?"

Levi was quick to get under the cover and get comfy, knowing it wouldn't be long at all until he was slipping back to sleep as he had done at Jean and Marco's place. He rested against Eren's chest, trying to get comfy. "Levi.. what are we even doing with ourselves anymore? I can't remember.." He felt Eren rest his head against his shoulder, resting his head against his.  
"What we're doing is being with each other. For as long as we can."  
"I don't even remember what I am anymore. Is that still okay? Am I still good enough for you like this?" as Eren moved, Levi scooted down, resting his head back against Eren's shoulder, his forehead against the teen's neck. "I was worried that you'd got tired of me and that was why you left, but I know that was a mistake now. Sorry for being an idiot."  
"You'll always be good enough for me. I'm so sorry that you thought I'd left. I'd never leave you. I'll always come back home."  
"Thank you.. it means a lot to me, to hear that. I'll try not to panic again. Can we just stay here for a while and pretend everything is okay?"  
"Baby we can stay here all night for me." The nickname sounded strange coming from him, but his quiet voice, oddly enough, did it justice. 

His eyes closed as he spoke, his hands moving to find Eren's, to link their fingers together and pull them to his stomach, comfy and warm and damn near sleep, but he refused it. He didn't want to miss a second of this if he could help it. He didn't know the next time he'd be getting hugs and falling asleep in the Nephilim's arms again, so he was taking everything he could get

"Okay. I got you Chinese, but you can just have it tomorrow," he mentioned, turning to watch the late-night CSI variant that he'd managed to flick through and realising that was probably by habit as well since he knew Levi seemed to enjoy those kinds of shows every now and then. He was more than happy to keep the illusion of normal domesticity going until they both fell asleep right here, wound up tightly in each other's grip. "It's nice, knowing we can be normal for once.. I feel kind of world-weary."

Chinese definitely sounded inviting. Maybe he'd break the pattern for a change and have it for breakfast. Or lunch, depending on what time they woke. It had been a while since he'd had breakfast of his own choosing. Other than the odd slice of toast that Eren made him. "How so?"

His voice was light, quiet against the background noise of the TV, not fussed in the slightest that Eren's wing was in the way of him seeing the show the teen had put on. Levi was quite content to sit and stare at the glossy feathers instead. Much better view, even if they were no longer tinted by a blue that he'd come to love. 

"I'm tired. Not the sleep it off kind, either. Guess I'm thinking too much, though. You've been around for decades and got past it somehow so I will too."  
"It just takes some practice. You'll get there. I'm here to help you get there. For now, no thinking is involved in being here with me..."  
"Yeah.. don't need to think to appreciate this. I'm glad you didn't let me give you the slip when we started hunting together."  
"Me too." He smiled a small smile, his eyes closed as he let out a small sigh through his nose. "I'll be forever grateful that I fought for it." He shifted slightly, soon moving himself to wedge himself between Eren's wing against the back of the sofa and the teen's side, arms across his stomach, leg moving to curl around his. "I think I could fall asleep here."

"Wouldn't you sleep better in bed? We don't have to watch TV, I just put it on for background noise really." Despite saying that, Eren wouldn't really mind sleeping here in his cocoon of blankets and feathers and Levi's warmth either. He hadn't been this happy for a long time, or at least, didn't think he had. It was only now that he noticed the thick red marks still just barely around his wrists, the burns to the skin all but healed over the course of the few days since they had been inflicted. "That's strange.. don't remember getting burned anywhere.." he muttered, frowning at his wrist for a moment as his hand stilled resting against Levi's head for a few seconds before he carried on as if he'd never stopped. "Oh well.. it's not like it matters what happens to me anymore, as long as you're okay. Never has, really."

The words reminded him so much of what the demon said, that his protection was the most important thing. He opened his eyes, blinking slowly as his mind wandered. That was until Eren moved, rearranging the pillows before pulling him back down. "You're better than the bed, Eren." He smiled softly as he rested his head against the teens shoulder, letting his body relax completely into him. 

Levi quickly became mush, the fingers resuming the action of carding through his hair and that action alone would always cause him to fall asleep. He was barely awake as he sighed, more than happy between the Nephilim's arms, knowing for a fact he was safe and warm and nothing bad was going to happen to him during the night. By the time the tv show was over Eren was falling asleep himself and happy to flick the TV off entirely, feeling warm and safe with Levi quietly tucked up asleep against his shoulder, his slow breaths and the heartbeat Eren could feel through the fabric of his shirt as one of his hands moved from Levi's back and laid gently over his chest soothing him to sleep faster than anything else could have.

"Goodnight, Levi. Love you." He knew Levi wasn't awake to hear him say it, but that didn't stop him for an instant. He just hoped that when he woke up he hadn't lost this memory too, because although it had started out upsetting the night had ended perfectly as far as he was concerned. It was just like they used to be - happy in each other's company and content to ignore the world outside until it encroached upon them and the small haven they had created for each other with its responsibilities, forcing them to act.

Smiling, he let his head fall back against the pillows behind him, eyes quickly fluttering shut so that he didn't have to stare at the dark ceiling, could pretend he didn't feel the darkness festering in the corners of his mind staring back at him from it, biding their time.


	20. Chapter 20

Green eyes slowly blinked open to a familiar ceiling, and almost at once, Eren frowned. How much time had he missed now? The bed felt warm and safe, but he should remember being here. Surely. Because after how it had ended before.. he’d been writing a letter, but he didn’t know how that had ended. He didn’t know whether he’d ever got it to Levi or not. Evidently he had if he was in his bed.

He could feel Levi’s body heat next to him, and it made him smile a little, yawning and arching his back to get a decent amount of stretch before he did anything else, feeling a little tense like he’d slept at odd angles.

“I must have come back to you already, fucking idiot that I am,” he muttered quietly. “But I was always going to. I only needed one day, Levi, I swear. What happened was.. well, it was hard to deal with.”

As Eren moved to arch his back it jostled the mattress enough that he was pulled out of his dreamless sleep, barely awake as Eren stopped moving, eyes still closed as he moved to pull the duvet cover closer to his face. He only caught the last part of what he said as he blinked his eyes open sluggishly, not nearly as quick to wake up as he used to be. He didn't even realise it wasn’t the demon, the thought that when he slept the Nephilim had more of a chance at breaking back through just didn't occur to him. He was too exhausted for that. "Who.. who did that? Did I..” 

As Levi heard the small gasp his eyes closed again, rather pleased the duvet was barely covering his back. The pain was back but only an annoying stinging, the shower had obviously helped get the lotion that hadn't been rubbed in enough in certain cuts away from the wounds to heal them better. It was definitely manageable and he could certainly go back to sleep with it. He felt like his lower back didn't even hurt at all anymore. 

"Who did what, Eren?" His voice was quiet, hands moving up to push under the pillow, getting comfier still as he didn't intend to get out of bed yet if he could get away with falling back to sleep. It didn't even click that Eren was clearly on about his back, given he was in his front. There didn't seem to be enough light to justify waking up since the clock was on Eren's side he couldn't see it without bending his back slightly and that was something he wasn't doing. "Can we just go back to sleep for a little while babe?"

Eren bit his lip, knowing he wasn't imagining things. The marks were really there. Clearly almost healed, but really, definitely there. Levi sounded exhausted, too, which was rare because he was usually the one of them that just got out of bed without needing half an hour to persuade himself to do it like Eren did sometimes. This was all wrong. So very, very wrong.

"Yes.. but.. your back. Did I do that? When I blacked out? Is that what I'm doing.. am I hurting you?" 

He opened his eyes at that, feeling Eren move closer to him. Levi frowned, the words starting to process in his brain. Wait...

He moved, turning around with careful movements, choosing to roll on to his front completely and then on to his other side, eyes looking to Eren's neck, slowly but surely sliding up to his eyes, where they opened to greet his grey colour. 

_Unmistakable green._

His expression became shocked, and he instantly moved closer, tucking himself against Eren's front, an arm snaking under his and curling around his side. "You did nothing. Don't think about it. Just... Can we sleep?"

Eren nodded, choosing not to bring up the stabbing pains starting to overtake every other feeling as he watched Levi get closer. He hadn't really felt them before but the throbbing behind his eyes was getting more and more pervasive by the moment.

"Yeah, sure," he replied, voice soft as he smiled despite the pain. "Head hurts so... sleep sounds good."

His wings wrapped slightly tighter around his side, curling up on one side in order to drape his feathers across the tops of Levi's shoulders, hoping to warm him up a little and give him something to concentrate on besides from the pain in his back. He was doubtful if he could actually sleep himself but he was happy to try. That or he could take a little solace in watching Levi napping for a while.

The pain behind his eyes got sharper and he screwed them shut, the hand that wasn't looped around Levi's side covering them as he hissed in pain. When they opened again, the irises were back to gold and his previous pained grimace melted into a lopsided smirk. Every time this happened he got stronger. Every time he clawed his way back to the surface his grip on the body the two halves of his soul now shared became more secure. Eventually, the Nephilim wouldn't be able to come back at all.

* * *

  
  
It wasn't until 10 AM, that he woke again, frowning as he stretched his back and caused pain to blossom across his shoulders. “Mornin' sunshine." He opened his eyes to be met by gold, deflating slightly as he was somewhat hoping to meet green, wondering if he'd have longer with the Nephilim before the demon took control. His mind was of two minds, it had been nice to fall asleep next to the Nephilim once again, even to be woken by him, despite the minute conversation they'd had.

"Morning..." He looked away, staying where he was as his eyes directed towards the bare chest that was close to his own, having stayed in the position he'd fallen asleep in a few hours prior. His arms tensed slightly across Eren's waist before it relaxed. His mind was still on the green that had filled his dreams that morning from him seeing the colour in Eren's eyes when he'd turned to face him those few hours ago. he wished he'd not gone back to sleep now, wished he'd had more time. But that wasn't meant to be, maybe _they_ weren't meant to be, the more he thought about it, the more he was starting to believe it. Maybe this was their shared destiny, Eren's own to become the being that was in front of him, and his to be with him and help him through the transition from Nephilim to Demon...

It was far too early to be considering such possible 'destinies', as it were, and he didn't want to dwell, forcing it out his mind as fingers skimmed up his arm, the wing still in place to keep him warm until they both moved to get out of bed.

"You want to get up?" The voice was soft, the fingers against his skin not letting up for a second, a constant feeling that made his eyes close again. "It's like.. 10 AM. Not too early." It was later than he was used to, though, getting up.  
"I could go for some toast," he opened his eyes slowly, lifting them up slowly to meet the golden gaze that was directed towards him.  
"Alright, be back in a second."

He stayed still as Eren nodded, wing retracting and moving from the bed. It prompted Levi to sit up, pushing the covers off his legs carefully as he moved to the edge of the bed. The clock on Eren's side did indeed read just after 10, and it felt odd to wake up and go back to sleep. It wasn't like him at all, normally he could get up at the drop of a hat. It had always been Eren that needed time to wake up in the morning, Levi was normally showered and had breakfast cooking by the time the teen dragged himself out of bed. Though that might have been his plan all along, so he didn't have to cook breakfast. Not that Levi would have let him near the kitchen, but still.

A couple of minutes passed by, Eren re-entered the bedroom, Levi looked towards him from the window, seeing him holding the collar he’d taken off before his shower the night before. 

"Ooh good. No moving for you till I get to put this on and kiss you good morning." He announced cheerily, kneeling on the bed behind Levi and tossing the collar down onto the mattress. "But first.."

Slowly but surely, he felt the lingering flicks of pain drain from his body, causing him to relax slightly as he knew that Eren had taken it upon himself to carry the burden of the pain he was feeling. As much as he was appreciative, he didn't want Eren to have to carry his pain. He could handle it. He was about to say as much, but the feel of cool leather pulled him from his thoughts, a hand lifting to run his fingers over the front of the collar as Eren fastened it securely in place, his head quickly turned and his lips captured for a fleeting kiss. One that left him thoroughly delayed in his thoughts once Eren pulled away. "I'll go get you some toast, shall I?"  
"Toast..." He looked to Eren as he slid off the bed next to him, moving to stand himself. "No, I can get it, really." He stood, arms by his sides as Eren turned to look at him, lopsided smirk already in place. He felt like he should be getting his own breakfast. He only wanted one slice after all, he didn't think he could stomach much more.

"But you're still tired. I'm not going to blow the kitchen up for a slice of toast." He nodded slightly and Eren turned back out the room, Levi following a moment after, padding along the fluffy carpets barefooted, choosing to head to the sofa and sit down on the edge of it as he heard Eren knocking about in the kitchen.

The smell of toast soon hit his nostrils, and he brought his feet up onto the sofa, crossing them as he waited for Eren to come sit with him. It happened a few minutes later, being handed a plate with a slice of toast on, accepting it with a small thank you. He placed it on the cross of his legs, looking down to it as he picked it up, ripping one half in half, and doing the same again with the small quarter. He repeated the process with each slice, tearing it to a smaller size to eat. He was entirely focused on it, barely noticing anything around him as he ate, not even glancing up to the news broadcast that was on the TV screen.

Once he'd eaten it, he moved to place it on the coffee table before them, glancing to see Eren eating some fruit before looking at the TV, the weather having taken over the news. It was apparently going to be a rather nice day. He vaguely wondered if Hanji was at work today, or would be free for a small length of time so he could see her. He missed her somewhat, he was too used to hearing from her every day at some point to go all day without it, for the several days that it had been. He glanced around, looking for his phone or his laptop/tablet, wondering where he put them last.

"Lost something?"  
"Have you seen my tablet? I can't remember if I left it charging or not.." Which was perfectly understandable considering the other far more pressing things he'd had to think about over the last day or so.  
"Oh.. yeah.. I think it's.. hm.. plugged in and lying on top of the dresser still?" he mused, crossing around the sofa to seat himself next to Levi, reclining with a yawn covered by the back of his hand. He nodded, watching as Eren sat down next to him, leaning back against the sofa cushions. Levi unfolded his legs and moved to the edge of the sofa cushions, looking to Eren as he spoke again. "When last I saw it, anyway. I let Jean know you're okay now, by the way."  
"Oh, thank you...Yes... I'll just go get my tablet..." He moved to stand up, heading slowly to the bedroom. He moved through the doorway, looking around and seeing his tablet sat atop the dresser, just where Eren said it was, and while he was there, he pulled a t-shirt on over his head from one of the draws but left the PJ pants on. He'd get dressed properly if Hanji was ultimately free. He unplugged it and swiped across the screen.

It didn't take him long to be sitting back down on the sofa, Eren having move sideways into his previous seat and he was soon pulling him so that Levi was against his front, between his legs, Eren's back wedged against the arm and back of the sofa so he could still be sat upright. Arms snaked around his waist, hugging him lightly and he practically melted into the cuddles. He bent his legs, propping the tablet against his thighs as a message beeped its arrival. 

_Hanji: Ravioli! Just the person!!_ He smiled a small, almost not there smile fingers going to tap slowly

_Levi: Morning four-eyes._

_Hanji: How's it going??_

_Levi: Ok, yeah. Yourself?  
_ It took him a few seconds more than it normally would to type, not wanting to worry her with how exhausted he felt, with how Eren was, when she wouldn't believe him anyway...

_Hanji: Good!! Miss ya face, how's lunch sound?_

_Levi: Where would you have in mind??_

"Is Hanji doing okay?"   
"She seems to be. She asked me to go for lunch."  
"Alright. As long as you get something decent."  
"It should be.."

A few tapped words later and he had a restaurant within walking distance and a time of 12 to meet. The restaurant was one they'd been to before, and looking at time in his tablet, he needed to get changed soon. "If you're going out without me, just let me know when you're there safe, okay?"  
"Of course. I should only be out a couple of hours." He scooted down, leaning his head back against Eren's shoulder, eyes looking towards the TV briefly, before his tablet beeped again, lifting his head to look down at it, Hanji informing him not to be late and that she needed to see Erwin about something. He tapped a quick goodbye, before shutting the IM program down, looking at his pale blue background "I should go meet her soon.”  
"Okay. I should go do something with myself too. I can't be waiting up like a housewife." he joked, knowing that if anything it was going to be Levi doing that more often out of the two of them.

  
  


Lunch was enjoyable, he'd actually managed to eat almost all of the steak that Hanji had suggested he order. She'd walked him back, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek as she left, leaving Levi to head into the apartment block feeling somewhat happy. The pain was still present in his back and he was moving a little slower than normal to compensate, but he'd enjoyed seeing Hanji, he'd missed her.

He was soon walking into the apartment, opening the door and shutting it behind him, taking off his boots and placing them carefully by the shoe rack next to the door. He slipped his jacket off carefully, his back not hurting half as much as before, just went he twisted wrong, which was a bonus. Soon it wouldn't hurt at all. "Eren?" He called out as he moved out of the entryway and towards the table, placing his wallet, phone and keys on its surface. "I'm back."

When he got no response, he looked around his apartment. It had been a while since he was alone here, or it felt like it at least. So he set about doing all the things he'd been neglecting, tidying thoroughly, washing up, laundry. It wasn't like him to leave such things and it wasn't like Eren to not question when he did. It made him stop, after programming the washing machine to wash and dry for the next few hours and seriously think. 

Eren hadn't been himself. He wasn't himself, the pain in his back told him that much.

It made him think why he was still here, still walking around and living with him. If it were anyone else, he'd have been the one to introduce a knife to its face. He leant heavily against the counter closing his eyes, his brain clear for the first time in what felt like years. He didn't feel as run down as usual, didn't feel as tired and spaced out. Maybe that was fighting off Eren constantly? Or at least subconsciously since he'd been trained from day one to fight back against demons...

But Eren was Eren. It was the man he cared for most in this world, in _several_ worlds, in fact. Eren was something he couldn't live without, couldn't hope of trying to get rid of. Maybe Hanji was right, he was definitely going to suggest it, that Eren go see her to see if there was something they could do to fix the mess.

No... he couldn't suggest that. The ramifications and consequences were too great for it. He might not walk out the other side. But he felt better, now Eren wasn't close by. Maybe that would last? Maybe it would last just long enough that he could get the upper hand and restrain him. He still had the restraints in his bedroom closest, buried with his spare hunting gear that would allow him to keep him in place long enough to get Hanji or Erwin here. 

He nodded to himself slightly, looking around the kitchen, determined to keep that in his mind. To keep that option at the forefront of his brain, just in case Eren wouldn't agree to go to HQ to get checked out. Eren clearly did well enough hiding his eye colour from people, he was pretty sure he could pass as mostly human, though that did scare him slightly... but maybe if he could get him in front of Hanji and Erwin together, it wouldn't be so easily missed. After all this time, after all these years, Erwin had never let him down. He’d never missed the mark when it came to demonic identification, and he was damn sure that if presented with the fact, the actual person in question, Erwin wouldn't be able to deny his eyes and senses. 

With that, Levi went about cleaning again, mind whirring as he started to wonder where Eren had gone, what he'd gone to do. Without him here it felt like a weight was lifted from his mind, allowing him to breath, to think, to do things he would normally do. He always felt so tired, so lethargic around Eren now, and he could bet his ass it was the demonic aura constantly being around him all over his flat. (which was why the balcony doors and windows were currently open.) He couldn't exactly get rid of it that way, but it put his mind at rest that he was trying something other than dousing his apartment in holy water and sanctification rituals.

Although…

  
  


As he heard the door open, he unplugged the sink, letting the water drain and soon a hand towel was between his fingers, drying both his hands carefully. “I’m back from Armin’s. He seemed alright. Did you have a good time with Hanji?”

“It was nice to see her..” Arms were around his waist, pulling him close and he looked to his hands, the fabric around his left stilling. Eren was happy to pull him against his front and he only got a slight sliver of pain, gone before it had a chance to cause more. That was good, he supposed. “Nice food too... Hanji sends her regards. She misses you.”  
"Armin said that too. I'm sure I can ring her in the next few days." He placed the towel down on the side after folding it, his hands going to Eren’s forearms around his waist.   
“She said you could stop by HQ. She’d be more than happy to see you…”  
“If I go to HQ I won't come out again alive. Too many safeguards, I'd get caught eventually.. so I don't think so. Do you really want me to die?"  
"No, of course not. She just wanted me to pass on that she would love to see you so you both could catch up." Which he now had, and he honestly thought it wouldn’t go over as well as it seemed to have.  
"Well, she's free to come here."  
"She did express interest in staying over at some point." She had missed his cooking apparently, so she wanted him to cook something and then stay over and go home in the morning.  
"If that's what you want. I don't want to cut you off from your friends."  
“Hanji was going to come for food, she was thinking of inviting Erwin too. It wouldn’t be for a few days though, yet.”

Even Erwin had seemed to miss him more than he realized. None of them had been interested much when he’d been to see them with the Eren situation, and that aside, he’d still missed everyone. It hadn’t been long, but he was too used to seeing them on a daily basis. So it was a shock to the system when he didn’t get to see them as frequently as he would normally at the office.

The mention of Erwin's name made Eren tense up, instantly aggravated, and suddenly he wasn't so sure this was a good idea. Hanji was fine, he could evade Hanji. But if he wasn't going to be able to deal with looking at Erwin's face without wanting to punch him through the glass doors, and he knew it already. Maybe he'd have to be out for this little get together if Erwin was going to be around. He still didn't understand how Levi could forgive him for what he did to them both, splitting them up, leading him on, kissing him when he didn't want it, letting his Nephilim half think Levi was dead...

No. He wasn't having that.

"Him?! After everything he did to us?" the demon hissed, his grip tightening again as he tried to keep his anger at a manageable level. In return, it made Levi increase his grip on Eren’s arms. Maybe bringing up Erwin hadn’t been the best of ideas… "Did you conveniently forget how he tore us apart, how he lied to you because he wanted you for himself? How he got Armin to manipulate me? How he let you get so badly hurt in the first place, going on that hunt when he knew you'd have to face Petra?"  
“No, I didn’t forget. But he’s trying to make things right between us, you too. I want to give him that chance to try. I don’t want to lose anyone, not anymore, and he’s been a big part of my life. I can’t just cut him out of it, not when I have to work with him.” He hadn’t forgotten, he doubted he ever would forget what happened. But it was on him, it was his fault for pushing for the hunt, for pushing that they went on their own. Erwin just knew that once his mind was made up, there was little that could change it.

"'Trying' my ass. He's just going to hurt you again the minute you think you can trust him. Besides, you don't have to work with him, you work with me." As Eren let go and moved away from him, he turned around, watching him carefully. "Whatever, if you want to be too nice to him then that's fine. It's just your nature to be too forgiving of him, I guess."  
“I’m not being ‘too nice’ to him. I’m being a decent human being by letting him try and make amends for what he did.”  
"He doesn't deserve that.. but he's your friend, not mine, so if it makes you happy... Just don't make me have to see him, because if I do it's not going to end well."  
"You don’t have to be here if he does come round with Hanji. You don’t even have to be here for either of them. Even if it's just Hanji on her own. You’d end up being bored anyway.” 

He turned back around, picking up the hand towel again, folding it and placing it down on the side again, moving to put things away in cupboards, frowning as he did so. He didn’t exactly want Eren to be bored out of his face with him and Hanji here, and if he wasn’t going to be there when Erwin was there, at least he’d be more himself. He could already feel the aura pushing against his mind a fraction after Eren had once again taken his pain away.

Eren nodded, walking off and settling himself heavily down on the sofa with a deep sigh. He didn't want to think about any of it anymore, just wanted to curl up with Levi and maybe amuse himself for a while. He wasn't going to take anything too far, though. Just because Levi couldn't feel that he was still hurt didn't change the fact that he was.

"I don't mind seeing Hanji, she's not that boring. Even if all you're going to do is sit and trade recipes like two old biddies." he teased, his mood improving a little as he flicked the TV on to catch one of those talk shows where people ended up screaming at each other about cheating spouses or questionable pregnancy tests. A little chaos always cheered him up. "I know I'm not the only one who enjoys your cooking."

It wasn't too long before he was leaning over the back of the sofa to watch what Levi was doing, clearly waiting for the older Nephilim to join him as he crossed his arms over the top of the cushions and rested his head on them, his smile peaceful despite his earlier flash of anger.

“Well if you _are_ here, then I’m sure I can cook you something.” He couldn’t eat anything else today though, he presumed. He still felt rather full from lunch. The steak salad had been more than he’d had in days. It had been amazing though and had made sure to finish the whole thing, even though it had taken him a considerable amount of time. Hanji had questioned when he’d skipped dessert but didn’t take him long to say that he just wasn’t in the mood for anything sweet tasting.

When he’d placed everything that he’d used away, he wiped his hands again, soon moving towards Eren on the sofa, having seen him watching what he was doing over the back of it. He was soon pulled down onto it, laying against Eren’s front, his head against his chest, an arm on either side as he laid between his legs. Eren’s arms came up around him, holding him in place. Grey eyes directed towards the TV screen as he moved his head slowly against Eren’s shirt.

Eren’s hand carefully wound through Levi's hair, his wings soon curled around them both to keep them warm as they watched the TV. Levi’s eyes drifted after a moment though, seeing new bags in the living room he hadn’t seen before.

"Love you, Levi." The lack of nickname was jarring, it was enough that he had to move his head to look at Eren’s face as he looked down to him, just to make damn sure the eyes were the colour he knew was there and not the green that it sounded like. "I promise I'll try not to get mad again. I don't want to hurt you."  
“I didn’t mean to make you upset.” He looked away from Eren to the wings that were not up and around them, though thankfully not blocking the view of the apartment, and it was a good bonus that the wings were touching him, as well. Just curled around them both to keep them warm. “I’ll try not to make you angry, too.” He licked his lips as he looked at the adverts playing on the TV screen, fingers playing with the side of Eren’s shirt idly as he felt quiet.

“Where’d they come from?” Eren made a noise of confusion. “The bags…” He gestured with his foot slightly to the bags by the door to his bedroom.   
“Oh. They are for you. You can unpack later.”  
“What is it?”   
“Clothes. You can’t tell me you’ve not noticed the ones you have at the minute are a little too big. I happen to like you in nicely fitted clothes.” It was nice to know Eren had gone out his way today to get him new things when he’d seen Armin. His clothes were on the big side now…   
“Thank you.”   
“You are more than welcome.” 

His eyes were starting to get heavy, sleep threatening to invade his mind as he focused his eyes on the TV. Just being this close to Eren was half comforting, half letting fear creep into how relaxed he became so quickly. He tried to focus more on the TV show, than the feelings creeping into his mind. He wasn’t rightly sure why Eren liked watching such shows at this, but they always seemed to amuse him when he sat and watched them, even before the transformation to where the demon took a stronger foothold in his body.

Eren didn't miss how quickly Levi seemed to completely relax against him, the sensation cheering the demon up monumentally. It wasn't Levi's fault he kept getting annoyed, not fully, but given his response, it seemed he'd started to see it that way. And that only meant good things as far as the demon was concerned, so he wasn't going to correct him.

"Goodnight, pet," he whispered the words gently against Levi's skin and smiled a little when he felt him stir for a few seconds as if in response, wrapping one leg across Eren's hip and cuddling closer as Eren kissed his forehead and flipped the TV off, settling himself down for the night too. He needed to save up his energy if he was going to be around Hanji and possibly Erwin without arousing suspicion, although he could always escape to Armin's for a while if it became necessary.

* * *

** _Two Days Later_ **

He’d gone for simple Italian, knowing Hanji liked the simple meals far more than the complex ones that he could have chosen. It had happily kept him occupied for the past hour or so, that was until the doorbell went and he looked around, starting to become somewhat anxious about Erwin and Eren being in the same room. 

But maybe it would spark the suspicion that something was amiss. 

"It's fine, Levi, I'll get it." He watched Eren go to the door and went about busying himself again, putting food in to cook finally. He heard the slight conversation, Erwin’s voice and then Hanji’s happy one sounding through the apartment.  
“Ravioli that smells amazing!” He smirked, the woman skipping towards him and pulling him into a hug from behind, looking at everything that he was cooking. “You made dessert?!”   
“Good evening, Hanji.”   
“Hi!” He placed the oven glove down on the countertop and Hanji pulled away.  
“It’s good to see you, Levi.” He turned around, looking towards the blond now approaching the kitchen, Hanji having wandered off to sit on the sofa.   
“You too.” He nodded slightly as he moved towards the cupboards that held the glasses. “Would you like something to drink?”  
“Surprise me.” He smirked, Erwin moving away and towards Hanji, Levi grabbing three glasses and pulling out a bottle of wine since he was quite partial and he hadn’t had any in quite some time. No better time than the present.

Three glasses were soon poured and he took one over to Erwin, he accepted it with a small smile, looking Levi over as he did so, rather cautiously as he moved back to collect the two other glasses. Levi went back across, handing the other to Hanji carefully. “Thanks hunny.”  
“It’s nice to see you guys.” Levi sat down on the arm of the sofa since Eren had placed himself at the end after answering the door, next to Hanji.  
“You too. Miss you at HQ. Suppose it’s a good thing, you taking time off work though.”  
“I feel like I’ve taken too much time off work, Hanji. I’d rather be at the office doing something that sat about not being productive.”  
“But after everything that’s happened, Levi, it’s understandable that you are taking some time for yourself.” Grey eyes slid towards Erwin, who was watching Eren from where he was sitting with his legs crossed in the armchair across from them. Levi’s arm was across the back of the chair’s back cushion, leaning towards the teen slightly as he crossed his legs, his right arm resting against his thighs, wine glass hanging loosely from his fingers. He nodded slightly.  
“Yes, I suppose it is.”   
“I wouldn’t want you to come back and not be yourself.”

Eren barely suppressed his disbelief at that, his expression kept painfully neutral as he sat back with his sketchbook again. It was only the fact that he knew Levi wanted to reconnect with his long time friend that was keeping him from losing his temper and Erwin had only just arrived. That and imagining how satisfying punching him in the gut and watching him drop would be. But he wasn't going to do that - Erwin didn't need any excuse to suspect him as it was, he was going to avoid anything that might give him further cause to look too closely at him. It was already taking the vast part of his concentration to keep his aura hidden.

"Then maybe you shouldn't have let him go in the first place," he replied evenly, his gaze on his sketchbook as he concentrated on some underdrawings for a quick sketch of Hanji. Since the first time he drew her and Levi he'd kept going back to that rock concert look, and it was calming him somewhat to do it now.

"I think we both know that once Levi makes up his mind, there is little that can change it, Eren." Erwin's reply made him chuckle because he knew for a fact that he could change Levi's mind about anything if he wanted to. It was only a matter of pushing for it.

Of course, Erwin didn't know that.

"Oh, I know that, better than anyone," he replied, his expression thoughtful and a little sad for a moment as he ran his fingers over his throat. He knew that all too well - or rather, his other half did, given how quickly Levi had taken the collar off even after he asked him not to. Almost begged him not to. The place where the collar used to sit on his neck still felt strangely naked sometimes if he thought about it too much. It looked good around Levi's, but it was still strange not to be wearing it. "Hope you guys are up for Italian."  
"Anything Levi cooks, I'm up for." Hanji broke in cheerfully, probably sensing the odd tension that rested thick in the air between the two of them.

Eren nodded, going in his pocket for his phone as it chimed at him with the tone he knew he'd assigned to Armin's number. "Well, you'll get to have a bit more of it." the teen replied, smiling at Hanji as he flipped his sketchbook closed and got up, walking closer to the door to throw it into the messenger bag he kept just next to it for quick trips out. "That was Armin. Apparently there's a pizza party going on and my presence is a necessity."

He slipped his shoes on and then pottered back over, grinning at Levi as he glanced down at him before turning him a little with a gentle grip under his chin to capture his lips in a quick, deep kiss, wanting to remind himself of exactly what he'd become so addicted to in order to distract himself from everything else going on tonight. From the risk he was running with every moment he spent still in here with the two other Nephilim.

"Don't do anything I wouldn't do, hmm?" The words hit him and it took all his concentration to not give away his thoughts. He watched him go after the quick I love you and was soon up off the sofa, heading to check on the food. 

An hour later, and considerable wine and food later, the apple pie of which went over a treat, they were sat in the living room, Levi next to Erwin on the sofa. Hanji was across from them on the chair, curled up with a recently filled wine glass from the wine that Erwin had brought with him. "We've not done this in forever!"  
"It's a shame," Erwin responded to Hanji and was soon looking to Levi show as curled up on the other end of the sofa. "We've missed you at HQ. There's been a lot happening."  
"All you have to do is ask, and I'll help if there's work piling up." Levi looked up from his glass to the blond. "Is it anything important?"  
"We've had a rogue bunch of Legion running about." Levi looked towards Hanji, then to Erwin again as he laughed.   
"Rouge isn't really the word, Hanji. They've been directly hostile towards Petras' group."  
"Really?"  
"As far as we know yes. But we aren't here to talk work." Erwin took a small sip of wine, looking towards Levi directly. "How are you holding up?"  
"Me? I'm fine, Erwin."  
"How about Eren? He seems... To be doing ok."  
"He is. A lot better, now. We are still working through some things.."  
"So you've not noticed anything different??" Levi looked towards Hanji as her tone became serious. "Nothing out of the ordinary, personality-wise?"  
"No." He was quick, but he wasn't sure if he was too quick on the draw with the word. "No, he's fine. He's Eren.." 

The conversation died off there, Hanji jumping up to put a film on, and then another after that. 

Given that Eren had been gone several hours now, his mind was starting to become clearer, starting to let him think again, more than he rightly wanted too, but it was soon cut short, as his eyes began to drop near midnight and during their 3rd film. He was soon curled up on the end of the sofa, breathing softly and quietly as he hugged a small throw pillow to his stomach. His legs had long since stretched out over Erwin's thighs, the man running his hand over a shin gently, the motion soothing Levi’s sleep. 

"Been quite some time he's fallen asleep on us."  
"He's normally the last one standing." Hanji was leaning against her palm as she spoke, eyes on her short friend.   
"He still doesn't seem himself."  
"I doubt he will for a while, Erwin."  
"I thought Eren would help bring him back towards who he was." Erwin ran his fingers down Levi's bare shin, the skin oddly smooth. "Eren doesn't seem right either."  
"Neither of them will be, Erwin. They've been through a massive ordeal, I'm surprised they came out standing."  
"Levi almost didn't."  
"But he pulled through. He's such a fighter. There's nothing he can't overcome."  
  


They fell silent again, Hanji yawning and curling up in the chair. "I think I'll take off, Hanji."  
"Are you sure?" Erwin nodded, carefully moving Levi’s legs from his thighs so he could stand. "That way you can take the sofa. I need to stop by the office before I go home."  
"I'll sleep in the chair, Levi can stay there."  
"No, he can't. One of you needs to sleep in a bed and I doubt you'll take his." 

Erwin moved to crouch next to Levis sleeping form, carefully slipping his arms under and around him. He slowly picked him up, Levi barely stirring, confusing him and making Hanji frown. "I‘d have thought he'd wake up."  
"He normally does. He always used to." Erwin walked towards Levi's bedroom, carefully placing the man on the bed, watching him curl up quickly around his duvet cover, not even moving to roll under it.  
  


* * *

  
“Levi, I’m home. Time to get up, love. I think Hanji wants you up for breakfast." The voice penetrated his dream, one of which he couldn't remember as his eyes blinked open, blurry vision full of Eren.   
"Time is it?"  
"Ten thirty. I only just got back."  
"You stayed at Armins?" Did Eren sleep? Did the Nephilim wake up at any point?? Did Armin see the change happen?? The eyes made him stop as they gaze connected, the startling sea green colour making his eyes widen slightly and he swallowed thickly. 

"Yeah. Figured you could do with a night off from me.." He had felt better for it, he'd felt asleep over a course of an hour and that felt more natural than ever, over the quick lull that came with falling asleep next to Eren these days.   
"Did you have fun??"  
"Sure. Jean's still being an ass, but what's abnormal about that? I don't think he's worried anymore, though."  
"That's... That's good."  
"Did _you_ have fun??"  
"I... Maybe.." He didn't know whether he was able to answer correctly or not, and he felt like it was showing on his face. "I left you some pie." His eyes were still looking at Eren's chest, not looking at the green he knew was waiting for him in Eren's eyes as the teen continued to lean on his elbow, propping himself up. 

"Thank you. Do you feel up to breakfast? You still seem tired."  
"I could eat some toast. I want to see Hanji before she leaves."  
“Okay. I didn’t get any sleep at Armin’s, so I’m going to nap for a few hours. Go enjoy your toast.”   
  
He'd watched Eren to the wardrobe as he spoke, nodding slightly as he sat up, wanting nothing more than to shower and to change, given that he was still in the clothes he was wearing yesterday. But toast and seeing Hanji was top on his list right now and he slid off the bed carefully. 

He headed towards the door, closing it behind him since Eren was going to be sleeping and he didn't want to wake him. Partially because the dramatic change in personality from this Eren to the Nephilim would be startling for both Hanji and himself to boot. If he let Eren get found out, he didn't think letting that happen would end well for him. 

"Leeeevi!" He rubbed at his eyes as he headed over to the table, Hanji having already made him a stack of toast. He looked at the slices wearily, knowing he'd been able to eat the 4 slices shed placed on the plate once upon a time. Hopefully, he'd be able to at least eat a couple. "Did you sleep well?"  
"I think so, yes."  
"Eren mentioned you hadn't been sleeping well?"  
"No, I haven't for a couple of weeks now. But I'm fine, I just end up sleeping a little longer than normal."  
  


It was around an hour before Hanji was ready to leave, wishing him goodbye with a quick hug. She told him quickly to come see her at the office the next day he was free. He would like that, but didn't think Eren would let him get that far. 

Given the night and morning apart, and that Levi was around friends, his mind was as clear as day for a change. It was scary, how much of a hold Eren was starting to have over him. He didn't want to let it happen any more than it already was. 

He couldn't kill him and he couldn't bring himself to hurt Eren, even though the teen had hurt him. Levi just couldn't do it. 

He was soon determined, soon heading straight for the cupboard in the hallway outside his bedroom. Handcuffed restraints were quick to be in his hands from a bag at the back of the small cupboard. Levi nodded to himself, gripping the chains tightly in his hands as he looked to the bedroom door.

He took a deep breath and his feet carried him forwards. It was only going to take one phone call to make Hanji turn back around and come back, even Erwin. The blond would no doubt be at HQ at this time of day, most likely planning to work through lunch.

He opened the door slowly, quietly and moved in, carefully placing the restraints down on to the covers, looking at Eren's sleeping face as he picked one up with a small clink. The cuffs were soon through the bars of the headboard, clinking softly as he was careful beyond reason cuffing Eren's wrists to the headboard. He did the same with his ankles, standing back quickly as Eren moved in his sleep so that he was compelled on his back.

There was a little bit of give in the restraints and he was dreading the Nephilim pushing through first, as the restraints would hold both parts of the man tied to the bed.

He backed to the door slowly, then slid out of the door, but left the door open, heading to find his phone quickly, wondering where he'd left it.

  
  
“Levi?!” As his name was shouted again, a saddened look crossed his face. His phone was clutched in his hand, ready to text the first name he found. He moved back towards the door and headed in slowly. It had only taken a few minutes for Eren to wake…   
"Eren??" The eyes were definitely green, watery with tears but green nonetheless. He stayed by the door, ready to bolt if need be.   
"Why is this.. what did I do? I don't understand.."  
"I am so sorry." He didn't want to have to restrain the Nephilim that it looked like had surfaced before him, but he couldn't risk it. He couldn't risk being tricked. His thumb absently unlocked his phone by swiping across the screen. 

"It... No. It doesn't matter. Are you going to kill me?"  
"No!" He paused, the response having been like a whip cracking. He couldn't do that. He'd never be able to hurt the halfbreed before him. That's why he was in this mess "No... I'm going to get Hanji. Or Erwin... Or Jean I don't care. I'm just getting someone." He looked down at his phone, pulling up his messages list, Hanji's name being near the top. 

"You should just kill me now, spare anyone a job later. I can't stop myself anymore.. I don't know what I'm doing to you but I'm not going to stop, am I? I know I won't." The pause killed him, he didn't want to hurt the Nephilim at all, he didn't want to cause Eren any more pain than he had in the past months. "I always wanted it to be you. But I guess I already told you that years ago."  
"I can't do it Eren. I can't. I told you that before and that still stands. We can fix this. Hanji will be able to fix this." He knew that she'd be able to fix this, she had to. If she couldn't, no one could.  
"She can't fix everything, Levi."  
"She will damn well try."  
  
He looked down to his phone, tapping Hanji's name and beginning to type, wondering how the hell to explain this. Maybe just saying a demon was in his apartment would suffice. 

"When you say it like that, it almost seems like it might be true.. and I said I'd fight anything that came our way, so I'll just have to trust you with this, too." As Eren moved to try and sit up, being stopped by the restraints, he stopped typing on his phone. "My eyes kinda hurt, though."  
"Stay with me." He moved forwards, to the end of the bed, hand clutching his phone. "Don't slip. Please don't give in to it."  
"Give in to what? I still don't get what's going on. What's happening to me?"  
"You're... No. I can't. I don't want to make it worse."  
"It really.. really fucking stings, though. Jesus Christ. My head feels like it's being split open."  
  


He looked back to his phone, hitting send to Hanji, and then moving on to Erwin a handful of names down in the messages list. "Just hold off a little bit longer, Eren, help will be here soon." Before he could get to Erwin's name though, his phone rang, Hanji's name and picture lighting up his screen with a rather happy ringtone that he'd assigned to the woman's name. "Hanji??"  
"Levi?? Are you alright??"  
"No. I'm not. I need help. I seriously need help."  
  
Eren’s hands fisted in the blankets under him as his spine shot straight, head tipped back and yellow eyes wide open as the demon launched itself back into existence, finally managing to break it’s way past the Nephilim’s consciousness again with a low, pained yelp. It was a lot harder when he had Levi there encouraging him to stick around. His aura spiked from his wings like dark smoke, filling the room with choking negativity, and the lightbulb above the bed shattered in reaction to the inward wave of energy going through the room, the demon drawing everything it could get access to into itself to try and fight off the dulling effect of the sanctified metal keeping it pinned to the bed. The light, the phone, Levi himself.. everything.

The line to Hanji suddenly cut off, her voice dying out as the phone died in Levi’s hands and slipped from his shock-slackened grip to clatter to the floor, battery drained. The Nephilim himself was already falling backwards on unsteady feet, hitting the wall and sliding down it, ending up sat back against the floor as Eren’s aura dominated the room and pressed in on him from all sides, sapping whatever strength he’d gathered around the urgency and panic that had come with trying to contact Hanji and keep Eren going.

“I just wanted to sleep and you go and do this to me.” Eren hisses, gold eyes blazing with cold fury. It was only a matter of time, he knows. But that doesn’t stop him being absolutely livid or from yanking against the chains pinning him so hard the headboard creaks dangerously inward for a brief few seconds. “Come here, Levi. Let me out. Please?”

Levi didn’t move which caused Eren to growl, the metal starting to burn into his skin like it’s acid eroding away at it and he finds himself unable to stay still. Fuck, it hurts. “You’re hurting him.” he switched to a different tactic, allowing himself to show the pain he was feeling as he whimpers and tugs again, twisting frantically on the bed as his wings twitched and unfurled around him. “These are going to leave burn marks. Maybe scars, if you leave them on too long.”

That caught Levi’s attention, guilt and sorrow flashing through his expression before his brow knit and he took a deep breath in, pushing off the wall to force himself to stand again but only just able to remain that way. He needed to leave. He couldn’t stay here. Hanji would come when she couldn’t contact him back.

“Don’t turn away from me.” His voice was deliberately pleading, now, knowing exactly what effect it would have as he watched Levi wince, watched his fingers tremble. “Please. Please, Levi. It hurts.” Still being ignored as Levi looked out the door again and bit his lip as though debating whether to walk back out so he doesn’t have to listen, Eren swallowed and allowed the unshed tears his other half had been holding back, only just, to slip down his face, turning to fix him with a watery stare that he can’t seem to pull away from quite so easily. “I’ll leave. I’ll do whatever you want. I’ll never touch you again. I’ll let Hanji check me over if that’s what it takes.” he was begging, now, shamelessly. “Just, please. Take them off. It hurts.. hurts so much.”

Levi looked at him properly again for a minute then, wishing he hadn’t a moment later given the spasm of pain that crossed his face as he caught sight of the vivid red marks the metal left in its wake and the tears on Eren’s cheeks, slipping down to soak the pillow underneath him as his body shuddered a little and he pulled at his wrists again fitfully, starting to weaken once more.

“You’ll... let her look at you? Really?” The older Nephilim was clearly completely sceptical but seeing the state Eren was in made him edge closer, hand settling gently on Eren’s arm. “Why would you do that? She’ll find out about you.”  
“Because I love you, Levi. I told you I loved you, didn’t I? How many times do I have to say it before you believe me?” he whimpered, pitiful, as he took the risk of turning away himself, now, as if he didn’t want Levi to see him cry at how much it hurt and was trying to be stronger for him. “I’ll do anything for you. Anything. And yet you still hurt me with something like this.. when I was just trying to help you be happy again..”

The words tugged at his heart, removing his hand from the teens arm as he fell silent, bar his quiet sobbing at the pain and the sadness. The fact he'd turned his head away, to stop himself being seen crying, or at least attempt to had him looking away himself.

He couldn't stand to see him like this, couldn't dare to think that the Nephilim was being hurt because of him and it had him running from the room. He scooped up the small key from the table, not wanting to cause any further harm to Eren, his Eren. He headed back into the room quickly and was back at the half breeds side. 

The handcuffs fell away quickly on his left side, the ankle one too, and Levi was soon heading round to his right and was unlocking the ankle cuff first, and then moved to the wrist. he got it away from the skin first, and then backed up completely, stepping until his back hit the balcony doors, right hand holding the key tightly, his left holding around the back of his right hand loosely. 

Grey eyes went to the figure on the bed as it moved, rolled on to his side. A lick of fear started to creep into his mind, his body as he stood leaning against the glass carefully, watching with watchful eyes. "Hanji... She'll be on her way. All you have to do... is let her see you... You promised..."

Eren crossed the room, sliding his hands slowly, carefully up Levi’s arms and holding his expression as he did it, his gaze trapping insecure grey eyes like a magnet.

“I did promise.” his voice was low, dangerously so, but still fraught with how upset he was. “You know I keep my promises to you. She’ll see me.” Just not in the way that Levi clearly had in mind. He wasn’t letting Hanji anywhere near him, but he’d let her look, by all means. He had more than enough energy to fake green eyes again around her for a little while if he had to. “And then you’re going to send her away again.”

Because if he didn’t, there were a lot of things Eren was going to do, and not to him. He didn’t want to hurt Levi again, not right now, and he didn’t have to in order to get his point across. Dropping the contact of his fingers against Levi’s arms, the demon crossed back over to the bedside table on the side he’d taken to occupying, pulling the bottom drawer open. He usually kept his harness in there, along with at least half of the weapons that went along with it strapped to various places across him when he had it on. “If you don’t.. well..” he shrugged, pulling one of the knives from its sheath amid the leather strapping and twirling it between his fingers before he lifted it to his neck, the point digging in visibly until a single thin stream of red dripped down the knife and the copper tang of blood hit the air. 

"I thought the last thing you wanted to do was hurt him. But you might force me to.”

The red line became the centre of his world. The trickle of blood along Eren's neck drew his eyes instantly as he took a step closer.

"No..." A banging at the door drew his eyes away from Eren's throat and to his bedroom door.  
"Levi I will break this door down!!" Hanji's voice sounded through the apartment and he was surprised she hadn't landed on the roof.   
"Answer it." Levi looked back round to Eren, then back to the bedroom door as the banging sounded again, this time not stopping. 

He walked, somewhat shakily given Eren's previous demonic spike, towards and through his bedroom door. As Levi passed the table, he threw the key onto its surface from his hand and headed straight on to the door. He pulled it open quickly after unlocking it, Hanji rushing in, staggering slightly as the demonic aura hit her.

Levi barely noticed it.

"Whoa, what the fuck happened?" She spun around to look at Levi, "your phone cut out, and you sounded panicked, what happened? Are you hurt? Is Eren?"  
“I‘m fine. You need to see Eren. He’s in the bedroom.” She was straight past him there, heading straight to the designated room and pushing the door open, Levi close behind. 

Eren dropped back onto the bed just as Hanji pushed the door open, her face a picture of shock and concern, and he barely had time to make sure given by the faint sting in his eyes that they were green again before he turned and smiled apologetically at her as he put pressure on the cut on his neck, the blood clear to see on his skin anyway as it spread further down his arm in a small, steady trickle. Hit by the sulphuric smell and the sheer negativity from Eren's flaring aura before he dampened it down with what remained of his concentration, much worse in here than any of the other rooms, Hanji coughed and pressed a hand over her mouth, brought to a jarring halt as she gripped the door frame.

"Eren? Are you okay?"  
"Yeah, I'm fine, Hanji. Just a little cut," he replied brightly, trying to sound like he was being quiet and distanced because he was distracting himself from the pain rather than trying to concentrate on not letting anything of his true nature show through. "Petra sent some bastard to get the drop on us but they ran off. I'm just glad they didn't get to Levi because I was sleeping in here and they came across me first. I think they broke his phone though." 

Levi had followed Hanji in, standing close by to the door, his body feeling heavy, even though it was mid-afternoon he felt like he could crawl into bed and sleep. 

"Phones can be replaced. Your pair can't." she glanced around the room, and then her eyes landed on Eren, going to the cut on his neck, wondering why it hadn't healed. "How long ago was the attack?" She turned her head to Levi, "did you call me straight away?"  
"Yes... His neck will heal soon, it may be the demonic aura within him... From the attack..."  
"I can take you back to HQ with me, get it flushed out."  
"No need. I can do it here." Hanji's eyes locked with Levi’s once again, having looked to Eren as she spoke about HQ.   
"You have the things you need?"  
"Stashed away for a rainy day."

They shared a long look, there, Hanji knowing full well that Levi knew how to rid the body of demonic aura if he couldn't use his own healing to amplify it to get it to leave the body. "Alright... But you use Eren's phone and ring me straight away if you need anything." Levi nodded, Hanji moving towards him, fingers finding his jaw and tilting his head slightly, looking into his eyes, then her own roaming down his neck. 

"What?"  
"Checking for residual marks like Eren is sporting around his wrists." Her hands went to his neck, turning his head carefully. "He must have really got the drop on you, to chase such marks, hunny." She looked to Eren, moving over towards him, reaching out to take hold of his hands. 

Levi tensed where he was near the doorway as Eren allowed the woman to lift his hands with her own, turning them slowly to examine his wrists. She dropped his left and pulled his right arm towards her, her now free hand going to his forearm. Her fingers trailed up and gently skimmed the burnt flesh, the teen hissing and pulling it away from her quickly he held it to himself and she held her own hands up in an apologetic surrender. "Do you have the right stuff to treat his wrists?" Levi nodded, knowing he had quite the assortment of such things in his bathroom. "As soon as, please."  
"Of course."  
"Get this whole place aired. It can't be good for either of you for long term exposure. You already look tired sugar." Levi nodded again and finally Hanji started to leave, a few minutes and a brief hug later, she was gone, and Levi was leaning sideways against the door, eyes closed as he took a deep breath.  
“As soon as you’re gone.” Hanji nodded, Eren heading towards the bathroom as Levi walked Hanji to the door.   
“I‘ll get you a new phone sorted and drop it round. Or you can grab it from HQ.” Levi nodded, holding the door open. “Call me if anything changes with you or Eren. If that happens I'm hauling both your butts in.” Levi nodded again.  
“Sorry, for the panicky phone call.”   
“Don’t worry about it, I‘m just glad you are alright.” She gave him a quick hug and was on her way with a word to get the balcony doors open.” 

He was closing the door behind her and leaving against it breathing a sigh that he’d got Hanji to leave as Eren came back into the room from the bathroom, making a beeline for him.

He was still angry, still so angry, and it showed because he was shaking with it as he crossed over to the door from the entryway to the bathroom and pressed Levi against it, his grip on the older Nephilim's wrists squeezing painfully tight for a moment before he forced himself to calm down, to bide his time. 

"I hope you're happy." As quick as his wrists were taken, one of Eren's hands moved from his to around his throat in a grip that made his breath stutter. A second later, his shoulders left the wood as his head was slammed back, pain blossoming from the back of his head and shooting down his neck, white dots blooming in his vision as his head swam. "I hope you're happy now, bringing these things on yourself."

The grip vanished just as quickly as it appeared. The backs of fingers were ghosting across his cheek and he almost flinched away from the action, causing a twitch of his eye instead as he blinked a few times to clear the bright specks in his vision from the impact. Soon enough lips met his skin, kissing their way up his neck and his eyes darted across the ceiling. "But you're mine again, now, right? You don't need to see anyone else apart from me for a while. I'm not going to hurt you, pet. Even if I should because of how you betrayed my trust."  
"You already hurt me." Which was true. Only seconds ago his head was slammed against the door he was still pressed against, the pain was still there at the back of his head. 

"Then that makes us even, doesn't it." He didn't know if he could argue that without getting hurt further. It made him pause as his eyes looked up to the ceiling. He could go back to that later. There was another issue with what Eren had hair said.   
"I want to see them. They're important to me."  
"More than me? Because that's what it sounds like." He felt Eren let go of his wrists, his arms hanging limply at his sides. The teen moved back, looking down at him, not giving him space to move away as he continued to press him into the door.   
"They're my friends." He'd be nothing without them, and he couldn't even comprehend a life without Hanji especially, even Erwin at times. Jean was another, though unlikely, friendship that had been growing recently. 

"Yes. Friends who don't notice when you won't eat properly. Friends who just say 'you look tired'. Friends who are too busy with themselves to listen to you. I thought what we have was worth more than those kinds of 'friends', pet."

He relaxed slightly, having tensed up considerably after Eren grabbed hold of his neck harshly. It was true, they hadn't noticed his eating habits, but that was purely because he’d disguised it. They thought he looked tired because he was tired. 

"Jean noticed..."   
“Horseface needs to back the _fuck_ off.”   
"I still want to see them, Eren. You can't keep me from seeing them."  
"You want him to wake up thinking you've abandoned him again?! Because he will."  
"He won't!! He'll know I'm seeing friends. He knows I can't be here every minute of every day!!" 

Levi moved his arms, hands connected with the hips pinning him to the door, trying to push Eren away with what little strength he had left after Eren's surge in demonic power earlier, and the dizziness creeping through his brain from the blow to the head. 

"You can if you really want to prove how much you want to make it up to him." He was pushed back, Eren's hand reaching up and grabbing the collar around his neck, fingers threading through the ring and pulling. "Since you took this off it's all he can think about, you know? How he _begged_ you not to, and you ignored him. How do you think he's going to feel when he wakes up alone and doesn't know if you're going to come back at all this time because you're too busy running around with your 'friends'?"

He didn't know what to say, the pain in his head not the most apparent any more, as it was creeping into his heart at the words. He couldn't find the words to retort, to call Eren out on the fact he was wrong. Because he was definitely right about the collar now around his neck. He could leave him a note, saying where he'd gone and when he'd be back, but the demon would probably get rid of it before his baby had a chance to even see it folded next to him on the pillow.

Grey eyes lowered from gold, to Eren's neck, his body language slipping slightly on to a more slackened pose, if Eren wasn't holding him against the door that is. His mind was blank to all but the guilt now riddling his mind as his hands went from tense to loose on Eren's hips.

"I'm sorry, that was too far, wasn't it.." As Eren let go of him, moving back to allow him space, he stayed against the door, leaning against it heavily now that he didn't have the teen keeping him upright.   
"You think?"  
"I'm sorry. I don't mind them coming here if you want to see them... I just want to keep you safe, you know? I don't want us to argue."  
"That doesn't feel like keeping me safe. That feels like...." His eyes moved to the floor, searching for the right word. "...supervision. I don't need protecting from them."  
"Is it wrong for me to want to look after you? When you're the most important thing I have?"  
"There's looking after me, and then there's whatever you're trying to do." He pushed himself off the door but stayed standing in front of it. He felt safer by it, feeling like he at least had the option to leave... even if he probably wouldn't get very far.   
"And what do you think I'm trying to do, pet?"  
"It feels like you don't want me to have a life anymore." There was more to his life than this relationship, there always had been. The Nephilim had understood that, why couldn't the man in front of him now??  
"Of course I do. I just want you to want me in it, too."  
"You're in it. There are just other people in my life along with you that I care about too."

"You're too nice for your own good. Although I think I say that a lot."   
The tentative movements and the slow actions to pull him into a hug went a long way, giving him time to decide if he wanted to push him back. It turned out he didn't, eyes closing as his arms came up and around Eren's neck as a hand gently strokes down his back in a calming gesture that would surely turn him into mush. "I'm sorry, I can try and share if it's important to you. I just want to spend time with you."  
"You spend every day with me. There's such a thing as too much time, you know."

He didn't want them to get to a point where every single day their faces were the only ones they saw. He wanted them to have time apart, it being healthy and all that. He didn't want them going stir crazy. There were only so many things to do here before it became tiresome and boring. 

"Not for me. I think you forget how needy you can make me get with just one look."  
"That really isn't my intention.. most of the time." 

A small smile pulled across his lips as he hugged Eren that little bit tighter around his neck, pulling him closer subconsciously with the words spoken near to Eren's ear. It was ridiculous how quickly Eren could calm him down now, or divert his thoughts somewhere else. He barely gave it any mind, but it was something that he probably should have given a great deal of thought to. 

“How about now?" 

Hips hit his own and a grunt sounded in his throat as the slide of his crotch against Eren's made his eyes close. He felt his back hit the door again, but for an entirely different reason than before. It wasn't like he didn't want such an action to occur, to take them into something they'd not ventured in a few days... But after an argument like that...

Lips met his neck again, kissing against the weak spots he could find and his arms soon slid down the teen's shoulders, hands against his jaw. He was quick to angle the others' heads up, pulling slightly to seal their lips together, Levi’s eyes shut for what seemed like the tenth time. 

A hand slid back round and up into the long hair and tangled itself there as a hand found his own jaw, as Levi slid around Eren's shoulders. 

His head was shifted to a better position, a tongue running quickly across his lips and after a moment's hesitation, their tongues were battling. The kiss became rather heated, rather quickly as Eren's hips ground against his own, causing Levi to groan into Eren's mouth, his hand tightening in the taller man's hair.

Eren was all too eager to set about making Levi forget that he was supposed to feel on edge, forget the fact that he had been able to redirect his attention from the rather serious, obvious point that yes, Eren was isolating him. Purposefully isolating him, slowly but surely. What at the moment was an offer that he could still see other people with ‘supervision’, as long as it was on the demon’s terms and in their home on what he considered his turf, could all too quickly be retracted to zero contact with the outside world at all. And would be, eventually. 

That and after having his first taste of pure, simple intimacy before when Levi had thought that he was still the Nephilim had left him craving it. Yes, the power games they played were always fun, especially when he was winning, but he didn’t want that right now. 

He was more than happy to allow Levi to dictate their pace rather than his usual show of dominance, his tongue teasing as it swiped across his lips, conveying physically what he couldn’t think of a way to put into words that weren’t going to be hurtful due to his pent up anger. There was a moment’s hesitation before his patience was rewarded with that unique flavour that was both distinctly addictive and distinctly Levi’s, his hips shifting almost automatically in small grinding circles as he pressed the older Nephilim back into the door and met his pleased groan with a similar sound in response as slim, powerful fingers tangled in his hair as if the grip would ground them both to reality.

Pulling back, he made short work of undoing Levi’s shirt before realising that given that he’d slept in his clothes he was going to want a shower. Hopefully, he wouldn’t object to having company. Smiling, he ran the flat tip of his tongue up Levi’s neck in a fleeting touch before nipping on the shell of his ear.

“Want to go shower? I’ll try and behave.”

The words alone were enough to set his mind on fire. He hadn’t been expecting this, he’d been expecting to be hurt again, to get the brunt of Eren’s anger at fighting back against him and getting Hanji round… even if he had had to send her away.

He didn’t really get a chance to say no, having pushed to go towards the bedroom, but Eren had got them into the bathroom, his barely clothed body being pressed against the counter that had the sink inlaid into it. This pause was what he needed, their mouths still fighting as Eren pressed into him, the feather-light touches making him shiver slightly and rethink where this was going to happen. 

He pushed gently, pushed towards the door, Levi’s hands on his hips tightly. "Where..”  
“I can shower after. Bed.” They spoke between kisses and Eren’s back was soon hitting the sheets in the next room. He was still expecting the demon to be rough with him, to demand justice for him having a pair of balls and fighting back, but it still hadn’t come. Eren’s fingers trailed up his sides lightly, as teeth and tongue clashed with enthusiasm.

After a few minutes of their quick making out and slight grinding down from Levi, his hands gripped the teen's arms and his knees tightened around Eren’s hips, soon falling sideways and pulling him up and on top. Thankfully, Eren braced himself to save falling forwards on to him, and as quick as the flip had happened, their lips were sealed together once more, Levi’s hands starting to roam to start to get Eren to the same state of undress he was. Levi only had his underwear to go and he could guarantee that that wouldn’t stay true for long.

“Mmh.. good. Thought you were scared of me for a minute.” he mused, weight shifting onto one arm so that he could slip his fingers under Levi’s chin to tilt his head in order to dominate the kiss for a while before pulling back, his shortness of breath obvious by his wrecked voice. “I’ll play nice and spoil you if you want me to. Whatever you want, it’s yours tonight.”  
  
His eyes closed as lips kissed their way across his skin, and it wasn't until Eren stopped moving did he open them again. Their eyes connected briefly, Levi rather not wanting Eren to go down on him in such a way, so he reached both hands out carefully. Eren responded by moving back up his body and kissing his lips lightly, pulling back to hover above him, mouthed mere inches apart. "Not that." He saw Eren nod slightly, about to kiss him again, but Levis's fingers spotted the action, covering his lips gently with three pads of his fingers. "But spoiling me sounds divine." He smiled a small half-smile, trailing his fingers from Eren's lips as fingers teased his own waistband. 

His hand moved to the teen's jaw and he wondered what he was thinking before lips captured his own again and his whole body shifted with the force of it. It was lusty, passionate and sensual all at the same time and it flooded his brain as he felt the fabric of his underwear slip past his hip bones and down his thighs. Levi’s legs shifted, helping get them off before his own hands went to Eren's, doing the same as the teen kissed his neck, teeth skimming flesh until he dug in harshly just under his jugular were the collar say wrapped around his pale skin 

His hiss and flinched as a pleasure full pain flooded his body, hands clenching around the fabric softener Eren's underwear on either side of his hips. He let out a breath as Eren kissed the mark he knew would be there even come morning in a matter of hours. But he didn't care.

He always did like it rough, but slow and sexy was just as damn good in his book.

“Good. I guess I might not be as good at it as you’re used to, though,” he replied, taking a brief moment to drink in the sight of the small red mark left behind on Levi’s neck just below his collar. “Nice doesn’t exactly come naturally.” 

He hovered for a minute, almost at a loss for where to start now he wasn’t just taking what he wanted and not giving any mind to the consequences. He didn’t want his hesitance to be noticeable, deciding to stop relying on his other half’s memories and to just hunt out Levi’s weak spots anew for himself. It might have been an underhanded, indirect way of doing it but he had made sure that he had sole command of Levi’s attention for the rest of the day now, so he’d already got what he wanted. And he had every intention to keep up until it got dark or until they exhausted each other, whichever came first.

“Hope you didn’t have any big plans for today.” He was smirking as he spoke, tilting his head to the side as he shifted slightly to help speed up the absence of any clothing between them altogether as Levi stripped his underwear off too. "Or if you did, they have to be more interesting than this..”

He didn't have plans. Or at least he couldn't remember any plans he'd made, even more so when he felt his body shiver as Eren's demonic aura started to creep through his system. There was nothing much he could do about it other than to let his own Nephilim aura meet it weakly, especially given the state he was in.

Levi held Eren’s gaze until the second thrust against his groin, rubbing together as his eyes wanted to roll upwards with the pleasure that shot through him. He could still feel the aura flooding his system and it was making him feel lightheaded airy, the pleasure overtaking his mind. He had to claw some of it back, quite literally in fact, as his nails dragged across the tops of Eren's shoulders. 

"That's... Fucking cheating." His words were breathy, but oh so true as his eyes slid shut as he felt Eren grind against him again, but this time slick and not dry, the lubrication he reached to grab helping no end.   
"Oh? Sorry.. cheating is a habit of mine." 

He opened his eyes to look to Eren, only for the next slow grind to send his eyes rolling upwards again, eyelids closing quickly. Eren wasn't even in him yet and he was already at a loss, though he presumed that he had the aura, that was currently slowly retreating from his system, to thank for his mind unravelling too much as his body gained a shiver as Eren teased another mark into his collarbone, sucking gently until he decided on making the actual mark. 

"Bad habit..." He hissed the words as the mark was sucked into existence on his pale skin, Levi flinching slightly at the action. 

He spread his legs further apart, both arms now back around Eren's neck as he tugged him towards him, capturing the teen's lips with his own. He led the gentle kiss for a few minutes, before Eren taking over, the kiss staying gentle but passion running through it like electricity as it deepened, tongues running together and Levis hands making a thorough mess of the teen's hair by running through it and threading his fingers into the stranded carefully to match the kiss.

"But you like that one."

Pulling back from their intense kiss in order to take a minute to breathe and try to clear his head from the fog of lust that had overtaken him, the demon let out a short sigh of content as he went back for the small pink bottle again. Seconds later he was teasingly pressing a slicked finger inside him, the explorative movements small and painstakingly slow as his gaze remained fixed on Levi's face.

The slow pace was a breath of fresh air. The last few times this had happened he didn't really feel he got much of a say in the matter, other than when he thought it was the Nephilim when really it was the demon playing him. 

But that was something he pushed from his mind as a second finger pushed into him and he tensed up, though was quick to relax around Eren's slicked up fingers. "I don't tell you how beautiful you are often enough, do I? Especially like this.." A third finger was pushed in and he let out a gasp as his eyes scrunched closed and he tensed up considerably. He felt kisses along his chest, working up to his ear, Eren soon whispering against it, telling him to relax, to embrace the feeling and not repel it. It seemed to work, as he let out a sigh a minute or so later, his muscles relenting and relaxing slowly. 

"I don't feel it..." And he really didn't. With the cuts that had been across his back, looking and feeling exhausted all the time and then feeling nauseous when it came to eating. It all added up to him really not feeling 'beautiful' at all, barely even attractive.   
"Well, you are. It's like you have no idea what you're able to do to me without even trying."

He agreed with that fully, as he really didn't understand anymore that he could do anything to the demon. Maybe several months ago with the Nephilim part of the man above him, but this one was still foreign, still unfamiliar. Apparently it was easy to do, but he didn't feel like it was and didn't feel like it came naturally to be able to do the sorts of things that lead to this. 

Demons shouldn't be calling people beautiful, either, and that had sent his brain for a loop. But that wasn't the sort of conversation to be having in the middle of foreplay. 

A loud moan escaped him as his body jerked, Eren having curled his fingers up against his prostate. "Mother of fuck." His eyes closed as his arms became jelly from holding around Eren's neck for so long as the teen repeated the action several times, hearing him start laughing quietly next to his ear. "If you keep this up, you aren't going to need to fuck me senseless. And fuck do I want that right now." His voice was utterly wrecked as his eyes opened, eyelids fluttering as grey locked with gold, Levi leaning up shakily to press a kiss to Eren's lips.

That had been exactly what Eren had wanted to hear, but the fact that Levi thought of himself as anything less than perfect bothered him. It certainly made the job of worming his way into the older Nephilim's heart easier, yes, but that didn't change the fact that he didn't really want Levi to feel like that in the slightest. Whether he was exhausted and barely eating or not, to him Levi was still the same image of perfection that his naive, fresh-out-of-training self had hero-worshipped and eventually came to value before everything else.

"I can do that if that's what you want.'' The offer was just as breathy as Levi's voice had been, despite his quiet amusement at the feeling of Levi's grip around his neck going slightly slack as he kept up the pressure of his fingers against his prostate and the slight tremors running through the both of them in reaction to each other. His other hand shifted back, gripping to hook one of Levi's legs tighter around the back of his waist as he watched his hips snap upward in response to the fingers still thoroughly working him over, having the forethought to sort out making sure they had protection and slicking himself up before he got the reply that completely drove out all other thoughts that weren't seeing Levi writhe underneath him in absolute ecstasy.

"Oh fuck yes."

The words were all he needed to hear, gently capturing Levi's lips with his own to swallow the needy whine that was the result of him pulling away entirely and leaving him empty for all of a few seconds before he lined himself up and had the breath knocked out of him when he pushed slowly in and felt Levi squeeze deliciously around him in response, back arching up from the bed against him. They were both left breathless as he waited for a sign that it was okay to move, and he figured the harsh, impatient bite to his bottom lip was all he needed in that regard. Just as before the roll of his hips started out painfully slow, no more breath or coherent thought left in him to form words that weren't broken curses or hushed cries of Levi's name, but soon picked up in response to the impatient tug at his hair, not stopping until they were both seeing white, too wrapped up in the intense closeness and sheer pleasure to even be aware of anything else.

Wary of his arms collapsing out from under him, Eren shifted his weight to the side and curled up next to Levi completely spent but not at all sleepy anymore, pressing a kiss to his sweaty forehead. Now they both needed a shower. And then maybe to do all of that again.

It took several minutes and he was soon rolling his head towards Eren leaning over carefully to capture his lips again for a quick kiss. "I need a shower." His voice was low as he spoke, moving soon after, his legs barely able to keep himself upright but they managed it to the bathroom. He headed straight in, though didn't get a chance to close the door as he was quickly joined. "Eren..."

"What? Conserving water." The teen reached around him to turn on the water, they both moved out of the freezing cold spray until it warmed up a few seconds later, though that didn't last long. Eren angled the shower head toward the wall and he was soon pressed against the tiles so he was under it, lips near his right ear and Eren's body pressed against him. "Round two??" 

One longer than normal shower later, and Levi was thoroughly blank on why the hell they'd even been arguing. It'd been pushed out his mind as he'd bit into Eren's shoulder as the teen supported him and assaulted his ass like there was no tomorrow. After that, all his world was a blur of water and Eren.

He was pulling on clothes, Eren having been quick to change and head out towards the kitchen to what Levi could only assume was getting an early dinner or snack. After two rounds of that, he couldn't blame him if Eren was getting food. Levi himself could definitely go for a drink of some sort. 

He padded out the room barefooted once changed into low riding jeans and a plain black long-sleeved T-shirt the sleeves of which went just to his knuckles. His hair was still damp, but he was sure it would dry quickly enough on its own now it wasn't dripping wet. Levi headed over to the kitchenette first, grabbing a glass from the cupboard and filling it slowly with water.

Levi’s steel eyes watched as Eren made himself a sandwich, mind thoroughly on everything and anything, leaning against the table carefully. 

His thoughts had wandered back to before they kissed and sex ensued... Twice. Not thinking about what the other had said about seeing his friends under Eren's watchful eye. He couldn't understand why he was putting himself in harm's way like that. He'd said multiple times, in some form or other, that he couldn't risk going near them in case he was found out. So why would he allow himself to come close to being discovered instead of waving Levi to it with people he considered close friends such as Hanji. She wasn't going to hurt him, Eren should know that. 

He drank from the glass slowly, looking towards the sofa as Eren began to eat his sandwich quickly, choosing to not get anything himself and instead would eat something later, or at least try and eat something later. Maybe Eren would make him a sandwich before they went to bed?

"You're distracting me again. And you didn't even have to dress up. Did you want anything to eat or are you fine with your water?"

Before he knew it, Erens arm was around his waist and had pulled him close. The small kiss to his jaw made a small smile form on his lips, looking as Eren leaned back slightly. He moved to place the glass on the table behind him, his hands finding Eren's sides carefully. "I'm just standing here with a glass of water. How is that in any way distracting??"  
"Have you been avoiding mirrors? Doesn't matter how tired you feel, you're still beautiful to me."  
"It's strange, hearing you say that"  
"Why?" It really wasn't helping that Eren had adopted a full force puppy dog look that made Levi stop for a few seconds, before shaking his head and finding the words to speak.   
"Because... You shouldn't be saying things like that." It was clear he was confused, sounding through his words as he spoke. It was true, demons weren't supposed to say such things as 'beautiful' in conversations that sounded out of love. They weren't supposed to care, to actually feel feelings of anything other than emotions like hate and lust. They weren't supposed to be disheartened when Levi happened to do something wrong, they weren't supposed to get upset and sad at things that Levi did. They weren't supposed to cry. 

"Why should I not tell you that? I thought being stupidly honest was one of the few things that caught your interest about me."  
"It was... But..." No that wasn't right. It caught his interest of Eren, not this version of Eren. The lines were blurring in his head quicker than he could keep track of, it seemed. He'd barely even hesitated when he'd started speaking. "Wait no. _You're_ not supposed to say things like that."  
"You still think there's a difference between who I am now and who I was then?"  
"Who you were then wouldn't hurt me..." Levi slid his hands from Erens side, up his chest and over his shoulders as he spoke, looping them round as he looked up slightly to his face.   
"I guess that's true. I was too scared to do what I had to in order to protect you before."  
"Hurting me doesn't feel like protection."  
"Maybe it's just a difference in perspective. Sometimes protecting you from yourself is necessary too."

He honestly didn't know how to respond to that in the slightest. He was stunned. He didn't feel like he’d done anything to warrant protecting from himself. What would that even qualify as? He didn't think he self-sabotaged all that much in recent years. Maybe in the past, sure, but since meeting Eren he didn't feel like he needed protecting from himself. 

But on the other hand... If Eren ended up hurting him because of something he'd done in regards to himself, or even someone else, maybe he did, after all. 

He pulled gently with his arms around Eren's neck, pulling him down and hugging him loosely. It wasn't often Levi was at a loss for words, but that one sentence had done it and he just didn't know what to say in regards to it, and the only thing he could think of was that he needed to stop Eren having to protect him. "I'll try and not need as much protection. I promise."

"It's okay," he replied, kissing Levi's forehead as his fingertips resumed their soft strokes against the back of his rib cage. "I don't mind. The need to do it kind of created me in the first place... but nevermind. I'll be here to keep you safe for as long as you want me."

Now the question was raised as to what to do with the rest of their afternoon. He could probably make Hanji a lot happier by going online and doing some of the work that had formed a backlog and at some point, he intended to make them both a proper meal. He was aware they'd gotten a little off-topic too. "Just.. try not to think so lowly of yourself, okay? If you weren't so hot for an old man I'd never still find it so hard to construct full sentences around you sometimes."  
A small laugh escaped him at the age comment, pulling away as he did so. "I'll try I‘m sure."  
"Good. I can't really ask for more than that." he nodded at the words, grabbing his glass and going to refill it after downing the rest of the water. 

He headed to the coffee table and placed his glass down, moving towards the bedroom again to get the book from his nightstand. It didn't take him long for him to sit on one end of the sofa, book in hand and take a sip from his glass. 

Eren was quick to join him, taking the book and glass out of his hands carefully, placing them on to the coffee table and pushing him back against the arm of the chair so his shoulders were resting against it, lips meeting his own quickly. 

He brought his hands up to Eren's neck, holding it with one hand while his other cupped his jaw, his eyes had fluttered closed the second Eren pinned him gently. Levi's legs spread under him, knees against the teen's waist so the teen was between them and holding himself up either side of his chest with his hands planted on the cushions below them. 

His fingers slipped just under the edge of the dark t-shirt Levi was wearing, brushing his lower back, and he broke the kiss to fix the pinned Nephilim with a serious look.

"Levi, do you trust me?" He didn't know how to respond, only able to stare blankly at the face above his own. A blank look settled on his features as he tried to make up his mind. Though, he supposed that was his answer. "I just didn't want you to think I was going to try and hurt you. It's okay if you want me to stop." 

He turned himself when Eren promoted, tensing slightly as his shirt was lifted over his head and a kiss was placed to his shoulder where he knew marks had been previously. His eyes downcast to his leg that was still on the sofa bent in front of him. Grey eyes slid shut as fingers began massaging the bottom part of his back, though knew this wasn't the optimal position to be recovering such an action.

Levi pulled himself away, manoeuvring himself so that he was on his front after Eren realised what he was doing and moved so he could lie down. The teen was soon on top of him, perching on his ass as his hands went back to the spot they'd started on, the added pressure making him flinch slightly as his arms folded under his head slowly, his eyes drifting shut.

He was still preoccupied with leaving kisses over every spot where he could remember a thin red line existing, after happily allowing Levi to adjust so that he had better access, the Nephilim lying down on the sofa properly, his head resting on his folded arms.

"Hmm.. glad you aren't throwing me off. This way I get to spoil you some more," he noted, grinning as he straightened back up and put his full force into working all the kinks out of Levi's muscles and feeling him twitch under the touches occasionally. Sometimes he forgot how sensitive Levi's back actually was in certain places.

They both fell quiet aside from the odd appreciative noise from Levi and a reflexive chuckle from the teen perched on top of him before he'd managed to work his way down the entire expanse of pale skin, slightly red patches left behind where he'd had to put more pressure on here and there to get the desired effect. Then he moved back again to let Levi sit up, tossing his shirt back into his lap to stop him getting cold.

"See? Not lost my touch yet."

He felt like mush by the time Eren was finished, and he was happy with himself for not making him stop in the first place. Things like rather nice massages he didn't mind, it helped take his mind off thinking for a while at the very least. 

"I doubt you ever will, kid." The response was automatic as he sorted his shirt, slow to pull it on thanks to the massage leaving his arms like jelly. He barely even realised he'd said it as he stretched once his shirt was on his torso, moving back to sit against the arm of the chair, though moved back to the edge after a few short moments. 

The demon's train of thought ground to a halt as he heard the nickname, his expression changing to one of complete shock as he sat in stunned silence, watching Levi pull his shirt on and get up to head in the direction of the kitchen. "Think I will get a sandwich or something, actually."

"You.. called me.." his voice was faint, but Levi evidently heard his hushed words anyway as he stuck his head out from around the opened fridge door, fishing out things to make himself a sandwich with.

"Hmm?"

Eren quickly shook his head, smiling and blushing a little at the thought of Levi calling him 'kid' just like he would the Nephilim half of him and not even noticing his slip, to boot. Oh, now he felt bad...

"Nevermind. It's nothing."

Content to busy himself and get back to being affectionate later, he went hunting out his laptop, happy to curl up on the sofa until they both went back to bed, his thoughts soon diverting to daydreams of pouncing Levi again later in order to get him through the paperwork he had to catch up on as quickly as physically possible. Hopefully, Hanji wouldn't miss him at HQ so much if he was still keeping up to date with that.


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhh :p

The soft sound of metal clinking together woke him from his slumber, he pulled himself up as he stretched, hand rubbing his eyes as he looked to Eren sorting out his harness. Something was wrong. Why was he awake and ready to leave so early? "What's going on? Where are you going so early?"  
"Go back to sleep, Levi. I'll deal with this one on my own. It's Annie.. we think she might be about to defect unless we can get to her first."  
"Ah... right. Damn."  
"It's not just that... Petra will probably show her face to try and get Annie on side.. and I didn't want to put you in danger like that." His eyes watched as Eren moved towards him, sitting next to him and pulling him close, practically melting into the embrace he was pulled into. "You can still come if you want, though. We'll need all the help we can get." His arms pulled up and around Eren’s body.  
“You need help. I’ve got to go.”   
“You can stay here.” Levi pulled out of Eren’s arms, pressing a kiss to his lips,  
“I’m going. You said it yourself, you need all the help you can get. Give me a minute. I need a shower quick.” 

And he was quick, probably the quickest shower he’d ever known himself to take, not wanting Eren to leave without him as he was most likely thinking it thanks to Petra maybe being involved. He was soon moving back into the bedroom, towel around his waist, thanking Eren quietly as he’d made the bed and got his things ready for him. He pulled underwear on first and then the clothes Eren had chosen in place of his uniform, given the clothes of his uniform didn’t fit him anymore. Deft fingers make quick work of the harness, clearly showing how much practice he’d had at tightening the belts and fastening the buckles. Eren helped him with his weapons, clipping them all in place and making sure he was good to go. “Lead the way,” Levi gestured towards the door, intending to follow Eren’s lead.

The two of them weren't searching the city for all that long, Eren's watch beeping every so often providing back and forth exchange of information with the others. Pretty much the whole of the 104th was out searching for Annie, all dropping whatever they were doing to try and help.

They'd caught up with Mikasa and Armin rather quickly, soon joined by Jean and Marco as Mikasa was constantly on the line to the two other people besides her who knew Annie the best out of them - Reiner and Bertholdt. Unfortunately, neither of them had any more clue as to where she might be or what had suddenly caused this change in the lone wolf either. Given that they weren't getting anywhere, and Eren knew time wasn't on their side, he hung back and deliberately let himself get split up from the others with a shout of "I'm going to try something. You guys go on without me." Over the wind.

He almost didn’t want to leave with the rest of them and wanted to stay firmly at Eren’s side in case something happened while they were separated. But he obeyed the words and kept on flying, staying closer to Jean and Marco, the former of which not missing his change in course to steering himself closer to the two. At the end of the day, the only one he trusted next, was Jean, after all. As odd as that sounded in his brain.

He felt the flare in the aura and he made him look back over his shoulder as he glided through the air just to the right of Jean. He could feel Eren from here and he hoped to hell nothing had happened. But soon enough he felt his mind prodded, making his eyes close as he shook his head. He could feel Eren, but where he was he didn’t rightly know. He couldn’t concentrate, his mind focusing on flying and not crashing, but trying to focus on the flare in the demonic aura he’d grown so used to. “We need to land! Now.”   
“Sir?” Armin’s voice. “We need to keep looking!”   
“Land. Now. That’s an order.” He shouted over the rush of the wind past their ears, heading for the nearest building and landing rather gracefully on the edge of the building, eyes darting over the city as Nephilim landed on the flat roof behind him.  
“What the hell is going on?”  
“Shut up already.” Levi lifted a hand, his wings relaxing and falling slightly behind him. Then it hit him, flinching rather visibly as his eyes closed and he swayed slightly. 

‘Can you hear me, Levi? I found her, Petra's here too. If you can still feel me you'll have to use that to guide yourself back to me, because I'm not sure where this place is.’ 

He didn’t want to speak his confirmation that he’d received the message, though he gathered showing up would be confirmation enough if Eren didn’t pick up on the mental note he made of pinpointing which direction to head. “This way. Let’s move. We don’t have time.” He jumped, hurling himself off the building and propelling himself quickly to full speed, feeling the other Nephilim follow suit, Jean and Marco soon at his sides as he led the way. It took a few changes in direction, but he managed it.

As Eren came within his sights, he headed there more steadily, letting the others fly in front of them, choosing to stay in the air as Mikasa and the others touched down, hovering above them as he looked towards the building as he listened to the conversation below. “If you don’t like the look of it, stay outside. We don’t have time for this.” He frowned, looking to Eren who nodded, heading first, Levi getting the hint and touching down just outside once they were all in front of him. Eren was in front of him, somewhat shielding him from view. He didn’t have to be able to feel Petra’s presence to know she was in there as he could sense that Eren was on edge, and he was more than happy to hang back and take a less direct part in this play if it kept him away from Petra. 

Part of his mind wanted to hide his wings, not liking the fact his left ached in response to Petra’s presence as they entered the warehouse. He didn’t want to get hurt, not again, and his worry started to build. He knew that a fight wouldn’t be an issue if the demon stood before him, protecting him even now, but he highly doubted it would end in combat. He knew for a fact Eren wouldn’t let him get hurt here, not by Petra’s hand, not again. 

“Annie what the fuck are you doing?!” He looked around the building as Mikasa clearly took point, eyes soon landing on Petra, her eyes trained on Levi completely. He felt himself take a step back, his hands balling into fists as his wings drooped slightly behind his back.

Eren had already placed himself firmly between Levi and the barely lit stage as they went through the empty foyer and further within the bounds of the theatre. Most of the chairs were broken or gone and the aisles littered with cobwebs, dust and old leaves where part of the roof had given way and fallen in. Annie was sat on the edge of the stage looking bored, her hunting clothes pointedly not on despite the fact she'd kept her harness and weapons on over the jeans and plain white hooded top, hands tucked into the pocket at the front as she wiggled her legs over the edge as Mikasa approached, leading the others.

Petra and Ilse were the only ones besides Annie actively showing themselves, but they remained silent, Eren sending the older female who he was pretty sure was behind all of this a harsh look the moment she so much as dared look at Eren, arms folded as a sliver of gold flashed through the green to remind her that he was not someone she could fuck around with any more without expecting consequences, whether the others were there or not. If it came to it he would out himself in a second in front of the others in order to keep Levi safe from her reach.  
"Took you long enough." Annie's voice was weary, soft, but firm. They could all sense the difference, sense that she had given up her wings, more or less instantly, and Mikasa's grip tightened on her scarf as she walked up closer to the stage. Had Eren not been entirely focused on Levi he probably would have gone with her, but he was not going to give Petra even the slightest opportunity.  
"Come on, Annie. What's going on? Talk to me." Mikasa tried, knowing there was perhaps only Armin here beside her that the blonde would be prepared to open up to now.  
"I thought you'd come alone, you know... if it was in here. Thought I might be able to convince you." Annie sighed, eyes roving over the small group before she shrugged. "I guess you won't leave with me while they're all here."  
"That's right. I won't. I won't leave Eren and Armin, and you know that. What made you think anything else would happen? What's changed to make you do.. this?!"  
"I found out the truth, Mikasa." the blonde replied. "That's all. And now I know, I can't keep fighting for them. The angels are lying to us, they've always been lying to us. And I won't die for them while they laugh at us behind our backs for being stupid enough to trust them. I can't." Annie was on her feet, now, pacing. "I thought you would understand."

“I’m sorry… what?” Levi suddenly perked up, listening far more now than he had been to the blonde they’d come to ‘rescue’.   
“It’s all lies, the whole lot of it. You’re dying and serving for nothing.”  
“No. We’re not. We can win this war if people didn’t act like such brats and stay on the winning side.”  
“Winning side? That’s where I’m headed. I’ve seen it firsthand. We’ve all been lied to since day fucking one.” Levi’s eyes darted between Annie’s. She was a field agent, she’d been there and in all honesty, if anyone knew it would be the undercover agents that would know firsthand what was going on.  
“You’re leaving the winning side.” His voice didn’t sound as confident as he spoke the words, but his face was still stern and resolute. “The Legion is no place for Nephilim.”  
“You know full well I’m not part of the Nephilim ranks anymore.”  
“That’s no choice you have to make. Just come the fuck back and we can sort this.” He’d moved in front of their group, pushing past Eren as he tried to stop him so he stood front and centre, eyes solely on the younger female before him. He felt like it was happening all over again. He’d been through this before… And he wasn’t successful the first time, either. Petra was living proof of that, standing back and as silent, as the day he’d met her. They could fix this somehow. Hanji could fix it. He didn’t think it was just Annie he was thinking about now, feeling the presence behind him move closer, trying to close the gap Levi had put between himself and the group. At least he didn’t have to see the change in sides happen this time around. “You’re making a mistake. You don’t realize it now because you’re angry and there’s no place for that anger to go.”   
“You don’t understand it, do you? How betrayed you are. He knows full well what he’s doing. Smith won’t hesitate to send you in as the pawn you were made to be, Rivaille.” The look of thunder directed at him as fists clenched should have put him six feet under, and he even felt Eren take a step closer towards him. “He won’t stop until you and everyone you care about are dead. You are disposable to him. You need to see the truth, to realize that you’re just cannon fodder till the Angels know what the fuck to do.”  
“You’re wrong.”  
“And you’re so brainwashed you’re beyond help. There’s no avoiding this. You need to make a decision. I’m not going back. End of story.”

Was it all true? Was everything Petra said so true and he just couldn’t see past it? His eyes flicked to her, the gaze he received a soft, knowing one, full of understanding. He didn’t like the thought that they’d all been lied to, that he’d been lied to all these years. His brain remembered Erwin being so hesitant to give him jobs on the outside, to let him out hunting, but he had just put it down to Erwin caring about him; because they were together and he wanted him to come home safely; that he was too valuable to lose, as he’d been told by the man countless times. It didn’t make sense. Why would the Angels allow their existence if they weren’t going to help win the war? His internal struggle was clearly showing on his face as Annie had gained a smirk. “Starting to let the pieces fall into place are you?” He looked to her as she spoke, his eyes had dropped to the floor. He couldn’t feel anything remotely Nephilim about her. They’d lost her, and it was far too late to change her mind.

This couldn’t be happening, it just couldn’t. His world had already been flipped on its axis by the demon now standing firmly at his side. And now here he was, having his world flipped again because apparently he’d been lied to ever since he woke up in that room with his team, a team that had defected so many years ago. “No. You’re wrong. You can’t be right. You can’t.”   
“I am right. I’ve seen it. I’ve seen how bad things can go, and how little the people upstairs care. You’re better off following me now, rather than later. You might not have a choice. Petra wants you, Rivaille, she isn’t going to stop until you are at her side where you belong. She’ll do anything to get you there, even if that means challenging him.” 

Both Levi and Eren knew exactly who Anne meant, as Petra looked on silently.

If Petra did, and won, he’d be taken away from him. He’d be taken away with no way back. He didn’t want that, and he wouldn’t let that happen. He wasn’t prepared to lose him, wasn’t prepared to have a part ripped from him. He knew there was a way, an absolute way to stop it. A way to stop her from taking him from Eren. But he knew he couldn’t do it. He just couldn’t. Eren wouldn’t allow him to be taken, he was sure of it. Grey eyes flicked to Petra, who’d taken a step closer to Annie as her words went on to this topic.   
“She knows she wouldn’t win.” His voice was firm, having faith in the demon standing protectively at his side, a half step in front of him. Noone else knew they were talking about Eren, he guessed they all thought it was Erwin they were discussing.  
“Do you know that for a fact?”

"You tell her to talk herself if she has the spine." Eren hissed, unable to help himself despite the slightly surprised looks from the other Nephilim, all his attention on Levi. "She knows exactly how it will end when she does."  
By this point, Eren was twitching with irritation. He wanted to go over there and rip Petra to shreds just for the suggestion that Annie had made. "Come on. We're done here."

"Come back, Annie. Please. Don't make me have to kill you, too." Mikasa's voice was quiet, as close to pleading as she was physically capable of getting these days, and Eren frowned at the sound, knowing that Mikasa in pain was something that should greatly bother him. What was really bothering him right now was Petra and Ilse standing there watching the whole thing saying nothing while they allowed Annie to bait Levi and Mikasa.  
"You won't. I'll make sure you never have to see me again if that's what it takes to spare you that." the blonde replied, glaring pointedly at Eren. "Unlike some, I actually care enough to do that."  
Eren sent her a cold look in response, knowing exactly what she was getting at. Levi didn’t miss it.  
"Let's go, Mikasa. She's already given up," he muttered, sighing.  
"You go." Mikasa replied. "I want to stay a little while longer if this is really it."  
"It is." Annie confirmed. "Sorry."  
"Go, Eren. Annie won't hurt me."  
"Alright." Eren relented, Levi looking down to his wrist as a hand closed around it to tug him away from the stage.

Armin followed them after one last long glance at Annie, having remained silent and troubled throughout the whole interaction, and neither Jean or Marco looked much more settled with the idea of leaving Mikasa here.  
"I'll stay." Armin's words were quiet as he stepped to one side behind the last row of chairs before the doors back into the foyer. "We might be able to change this between both of us without you all here."  
"We'll be just outside," Jean replied, eyeing Annie distrustfully before following them both out of the building. The minute they were clear, he turned to the others. "I'm calling HQ. If Annie won't come back with us on her own, we'll have to bring her back by force until Hanji can figure something out."  
"I'm not sure it's going to be that easy. But we'll leave you to it. There has been entirely too much Petra in this day for me and I think we both need to take a few hours to rest up before we try and find out more from Erwin about whatever craziness she was spouting back there."

Levi followed almost willingly, wanting more information on what Annie had been speaking of. No doubt, as Eren said, they'd need to speak to Erwin at some point. It wasn't going to be avoidable yet it was something that he didn’t want to do in the slightest. He didn’t want to put Eren in harm's way any more than they already had today. Every second they’d stayed with the other Nephilim, and even when they’d added the demons to the mix, it was another second Eren could be found out. And that, that would end badly for everyone.  
He flew side by side, letting Eren lead the way back, happy when they finally landed on the balcony. He’d not used his wings so much for that length of time and he felt even more exhausted than usual. Normally, they were pretty quick to their destination, and once there, they were on foot. He shut the doors behind them as they entered the apartment, and as he turned, he was pulled into strong, waiting arms. 

"Glad that's over.."  
“I wish I could agree that it’s over. We’ve got to see Erwin yet, Eren.”  
“Not yet we don’t.” His arms lifted around Eren’s waist, his eyes closing as he was held, though it soon breaking and he was pulled towards the kitchen, being sat down on one of the high stools, hunting gear still around his body along with his weapons.  
“Eren, I’m not hungry.” He sounded tired at the idea of having to eat, as he watched Eren move away from him towards the fridge.

The words made Eren sigh but he couldn't say he was remotely surprised. He was tired and not particularly hungry himself, but if they didn't eat now and just fell asleep they wouldn't have eaten anything all day.

Routing around in the fridge, he pulled the strawberry mousse cake out from the back of the top shelf and cut a slice off, halving it again before sliding the thin half-slices onto plates for them. Returning the cake to the fridge, he headed back over to the breakfast bar and set the plates down, kissing Levi's cheek as he tried to avoid thinking about Petra or the inevitable visit to Erwin.  
"Honestly, I'm not either. I'm dead tired. But we still have to eat something, or neither of us will have had anything all day if we go to sleep now. I figured half a slice wouldn't be too much." He looked at the cake slice, happy it was a small piece, eating it somewhat quickly and once Eren had finished, he grabbed both plates.   
“Go, sleep. I’ll wake you if anyone contacts you.” Mainly Armin or Mikasa, though he guessed if Mikasa came back, she wouldn’t call ahead first. He moved back to the other after placing the plates in the sink ready for him to wash them, fingers under Eren’s chin to make him look at him from the table. “And only then if it’s important enough to wake you.” He smiled a small half-smile, leaning forward to press his lips to the demons, pulling away so Eren could stand. 

It was early evening by the time he felt himself start to get sleepy, having spent the day on his laptop, finishing off any work he needed to do, reports and the like. He’d even ended up researching again, once he’d finished, Annie’s situation now fresh in his mind, not wanting any more to defect and they not have a way to bring them back. He still didn’t find anything, as he curled up further into himself on the sofa, rather comfy and warm, having ended up fishing out a jacket of Eren’s as he got changed out of his hunting gear for the day. Eren hadn’t seen him in it yet, having retrieved it after the other was sleeping. 

He flinched as he felt a demonic aura flare and not one he was used to, and the next noise made the laptop slip to the floor, the lid snapping closed as glass hit his face, making him hiss as he forced himself up and off the sofa, freezing as he saw Petra looking incredibly annoyed, to which he assumed it was because of the sigils that had been on the glass. “EREN!” He screamed at the top of his lungs, forcing his body to move towards the bedroom in an effort to get to Eren quicker. His weapons were in the bedroom, making him all but defenceless, his wings firmly hidden from view and no plans to show them any time soon.  
“Levi.”   
“You aren’t welcome here. Leave.”   
“I’m not going, anywhere.”

Black filed past him, filling his vision and he took a step back instinctively, black wings replacing the smoke that signalled Eren’s shifting in front of him. "I thought I told you to stay away from us if you valued your life." he hissed, golden eyes flashing. "We've already established that you can't take him away from me."  
"We've also already established that I can try." As Petra came within his field of vision again, he took another step back, starting to slip in to panic at the fact she could take him away with enough force. He knew Eren wouldn’t let it get that far, but if she’d brought friends… "I'll challenge you if I have to, if that’s what it will take to get him away from you before you hurt Levi anymore." The possessiveness he could feel not only radiating from the demon shielding him from their unwelcome guest, but he could feel it in his mind, and frankly it was putting him on more of an edge than he already was. “Or shall we just ask him what he wants to do?”  
“You already know what he’ll say.”  
“Do you want to test it?” Eren was quiet and Levi’s eyes were going across the back of Eren’s wings, “Levi? I don’t want this to come to a fight if we can help it. If you leave with me right now I won’t hurt either of you.” He froze, now that he was being spoken to directly.   
“I… I’m not leaving. I don’t belong with you. I’m not defecting.”   
“You don’t have to defect. You can make that choice later.”  
“If I leave with you, it’s as good as defecting.” If he even considered leaving, he dreaded to think what Eren’s response to that would be. Make him stay here by force?  
“I don’t want a fight.”  
“Then fucking leave, no one is stopping you.” He still couldn’t see her, and he wasn’t entirely sure that he wanted to be able to see her either, now that he thought about it. He was somewhat thankful that Eren was blocking his vision, happy enough to let his grey eyes wander aimlessly over the silky black feathers before him.

"Levi please." the sandy blonde tried again, taking another step forwards and pointedly ignoring Eren as she tried to put all her effort into convincing the Nephilim to change his situation. "I know you don't trust me anymore but you have to get away from him. Go to someone else if you have to if you won't come with me. Go to Hanji, go to one of the kids from the 104th. Anyone. I don't care who it is as long as you don't allow Eren to hurt you any more than he already has."  
"Didn't you just hear him tell you to leave?" Eren replied, trying to bring his anger level down as a look over his shoulder at Levi's face made him aware that it was only serving to put the Nephilim more on edge. He didn't want him to feel on edge, he wanted him to feel safe. To know that Eren would protect him and not be too disturbed by Petra's presence. He couldn't ignore the thought that Levi was probably reminded of the woman breaking his wing every time he saw her either.

It was rather ironic that Petra was so concerned and scared for Levi now when she had been the one who started all of this by inadvertently dragging him to the forefront of his other half's mind when putting him in the hands of Isabel and making him listen to Levi scream as she hurt him. The wary, almost scared look on Levi's face made Eren move, unable to resist the urge to comfort him more outwardly as he walked around Levi and pulled him closer until Levi's back was against his chest, one arm looped around his shoulder and the other across his waist as his wings lowered a little to wrap around them protectively, ready to raise again if Petra moved to shield them.

Grey eyes directed to Petra now he could see her as Eren moved around him, arms taking to hold his body protectively, pulling him close in the secure hold so his back was flush against Eren's body. "Levi knows that I don't mean him any harm, which is more than can be said for you. Levi already knows how much both sides of me love him. Don't you?" As his head was turned, the warm gaze and words of love melted away any doubt in his mind that he wasn't safe in the apartment, even with Petra standing across the other side of the room. This was his home, not the roof over their heads. He was about to respond with a yes to the question, but he didn't get the chance as Petra cut in first.   
"He's lying to you. Demons don't love, they covet. And once whatever they are focused on is destroyed they drop it and move on to the next thing that takes their interest." None of this sounded like Eren. It didn't sound like the demon he'd got to know and care for in a way that had once only been reserved for the Nephilim part of the man he was staring into the eyes of. "Take it from someone who has seen it happen more than once. Look at yourself, Levi. Look at what he has already reduced you to, for god's sake. Look me in the eye and tell me that you're still the same Lance Corporal I knew."   
"People change..." He was still looking into gold eyes that were giving him a sense of comfort right now, as he spoke.  
"Not this drastically, and not this quickly. The Levi I know would never even tolerate such behaviour. He'd have dragged his partner kicking and screaming to Hanji and told her to fix it and to make it right."  
"I don't... I don't need to… She wouldn’t believe me anyway." He turned away, at last, feeling Eren's hand slip from his cheek to holding his neck. "He's not hurting anyone. He's not hurting me." Anything that hurt him, he deserved, that was all. It was his fault, not Eren's. "He never wants to hurt me." It was quite clear the depths in which Eren's claws had sunk and that Levi didn't want to take the hard look at himself that Petra was telling him to take. He didn't want to and she couldn't make him. "People change Petra. You are living proof of that. I thought you'd never leave my side, and you did. You defected for a myth, a rumour."  
"I had facts, Levi, none of us did it blindly."  
"I trusted you and you left." He carried on as if she'd not spoken as soon as she fell silent. "He's not left me. He always comes back to me when I need him. He loves me just as much as I-"  
"Levi don't." Her voice was loud, silencing him instantly as she cut harshly across his words, it made him flinch into Eren's hold, his own hands moving to hold the arm around his waist. "Don't even dare. Demons aren't capable of love so don't give yours to something that can't understand such emotions."  
"You need to leave."  
"Levi..."  
"No. Get out. Don't come back. You're not wanted here."  
"Please," she took a step forward, Eren taking the same step back, causing Levi to have to follow the action as well. Thankfully Eren kept them both upright as he hadn't been expecting the move and would have lost his balance if it weren't for the steel grip Eren was providing. "This isn't over. I'll be back. I'm not going to abandon you again, Levi. Just please, take a hard look at what he's doing to you." She turned on her heel, booted feet walking across the broken glass as she looked at where the doors had once been. "I'll be back to come get you. Willing or not." Smoke soon signalled her departure, Levi finally letting his body relax, not even realising he'd tensed up, leaning back and thoroughly against Eren.

"She's not going to stop... Is she?"  
"No." he replied, the single word sounding more tired than he had earlier. They both had to face up to the idea that Petra wasn't going to stop. Not until or unless they took the one step he already wasn't happy with, that Eren already said he wouldn't force him to make. "She won't stop unless you go with her.. or unless you contract. And I meant what I said about not wanting to pressure you into that. Damn her.." Eren’s arms wrapped around his waist, his arms crossed, hands holding the other’s forearms loosely now he was facing him.  
“I don’t want to go with her, Eren, I don’t…but I can’t make a contract, I can’t…”   
“Why can’t you?” His voice was soft, clearly showing he was just curious, and still not pushing the idea or angry that he couldn’t.   
“I don’t want to lose my wings. I can’t. I just… I don’t want that happening.” They fell silent for a few minutes, Levi’s eyes soon directing to the broken glass all over the plush carpet. “We need to contact Erwin. For one he can help with the doors.” He didn’t want to, he really didn’t want to, but he knew they had to contact the older male. The longer they waited, the more suspicious they would become. Levi would have rung this through by now, or on the contrary, made Eren ring it through.

Eren sighed at that. He couldn't go to HQ, and the idea of having any real interaction with Erwin anywhere that wasn't at least neutral territory pushed the limits of what he was prepared to risk. He didn't trust Erwin not to try and take Levi away again as he had once before, and he couldn't risk staying around himself or he was likely to lose his temper and get found out. Either way, he couldn't be around for that.  
"I'll ring it in and leave you two to it. He trusts you more than me anyway." He replied, clearly unhappy with the prospect of leaving Levi's side so soon after Petra's reappearance, but not able to do much about it either way. He allowed himself to be pulled towards the sofa, happy to curl up against him after he’d picked his laptop up from the floor and placed it on the coffee table, eyes on the blank TV. "You don't have to lose your wings, you know. A contract with me won't change what you are. Not unless that’s what you ask for when you make it."  
“I’d be able to keep my wings…?” He spoke slowly, a frown crossing his face.   
“Yeah, you wouldn’t lose them. They aren’t the things in question.” Levi fell silent there, fingertips tracing idle patterns just under the strap across Eren’s chest. He licked his lips, his eyes going to Eren’s wrist, his hand moving so that he could take hold of his wrist.   
“Shall we get this over with? The sooner we do, the sooner he’s gone and you can come back.”

He looked up from where he was sitting on the sofa, as Erwin landed gracefully on his balcony. “Levi,”  
“Erwin.” Said male stopped on his way in, looking at the glass his feet were walking across,   
“I didn’t think it was this bad.”  
“She really did a number.” Erwin’s eyes looked up, finally, to Levi, freezing as his eyes finally landed on the short-haired male curled on the sofa. They’d not seen each other for over a month. It was the first time they were laying eyes on the respective other since Levi had gone for him. Erwin hadn’t changed… Levi on the other hand…

The male was clearly thinner faced, thinner everything once he saw Levi shift so his feet were touching the floor. He wasn’t looking bad though, in clothes that fitted him, instead of leaving the old, now clearly too big clothes over his form. Bar the jacket of course, but he guessed that that was Eren’s given the length of the sleeves. He looked like he was going to fall sideways and fall unconscious on him, looking exhausted beyond reason. His eyes were soon drawn to the collar around the other’s neck, recognizing it as the one Eren himself constantly wore from just before Levi had lost his memories. Why did Levi have it on now? It didn’t look right, and that coupled with everything else that was off, just sent up red flags everywhere in Erwin’s mind.

“Thank you for coming so quickly.”   
“Well, where Petra and yourself are concerned, of course.” Levi gestured slightly to the other end of the sofa, Erwin sitting down carefully as if the movement of the cushions with his weight being added to the piece of furniture would jostle Levi and break him into pieces. “I take it wasn’t just the door that you called me here for?” His eyes were still on the collar, Levi not looking to him now, dull grey eyes now fixed on the coffee table.  
“No, it wasn’t. Leonhardt has defected. The 104th and I didn’t get there in time this morning.”  
“Ackerman…?”  
“As far as I am aware, she is with Arlett and still has her wings.”   
“Good… I wouldn’t want Eren being at wit’s end over his sister defecting.”  
“No, nor would I.” He finally looked up, seeing Erwin’s eyes on his throat, making him swallow reflexively, blue eyes meeting steel grey finally. “Petra showed up here around an hour ago. After me.”  
“Well then I am glad you were able to resist what can only have been a lucrative offer.” Levi almost rolled his eyes but resisted as he looked away and towards the glass on the floor.   
“There wasn’t a fight, but she said she would be back to try again.”   
“I’m sure Eren and yourself are more than capable of keeping her at bay.”   
“I just wanted you to be aware. She had been spouting quite the gospel.”   
“Oh?” Levi nodded.  
“On how the Nephilim have been lied to since the start of their existence. Quite preposterous, really.”   
“Yes, extremely.” Levi looked back towards him, hiding the fact he was scrutinizing the slow response.  
“Would you like a drink while you’re here?”   
“Sure, coffee would be great.” Levi got up, rolling his shoulders as he did so. 

Erwin followed after him, leaning against the breakfast bar as Levi prepared two drinks, looking the shorter framed man up and down slowly as he moved. He took his time, his movements calculated, every single one of them. It was foreign to watch, Levi being so unsure of himself that he had to overthink each movement. He could see the wheels practically turning in his head. He was soon accepting a mug, hands wrapping around the outside as Levi’s fingers held the rim. At least some things never changed. “Levi…” He looked up, meeting worried blue eyes. “What aren’t you telling me?”  
“Excuse me?” He leant against the breakfast bar, looking up to Erwin’s face, a frown having set round grey eyes.   
“There’s something you’re not telling me. Have you looked in a mirror lately?” Levi turned away, heading over to his mug and adding more milk, before placing it back in the fridge, ignoring the question until he was turned and his back hit the cold front of the appliance, Erwin boxing him in. He went stiff, not wanting to touch Erwin any more than Erwin had just touched him. “What’s happened?”   
“Nothing, Erwin. Back off.”   
“Not until you tell me what’s wrong.”   
“Move. Now.” The stern look that crossed his features, did, in fact, make Erwin lower his hands, Levi slipping out from practically being wedged against the fridge to put some distance between them. 

“Did something happen with Eren? I know your hunts hadn’t been going well…”  
“Everything is fine with Eren.”  
“Well, maybe we should rethink some things…” Levi stopped on his way back to the sofa coffeeless, looking back over his shoulder to stare at Erwin in disbelief. “Until I can get a better read on the situation and Hanji checks you over.”  
“Nothing is wrong. I’m not just going to take a desk job.”   
“I’m not saying you have to. Just… changing partners, maybe, and getting you back up and running.”  
“That definitely isn’t happening.”   
“I can make it an order if I have to, Levi, I really can.” He placed the mug down on the counter, stepping closer. “You might not see it, but I certainly do. Something isn’t quite right with you. You have gone through a drastic change over the past month or so and others might not notice it, but I definitely do. You don’t look healthy anymore, Levi, at least let me help enough to have Hanji make sure you’re fit for active duty.” How could he get out of this situation as quickly as possible? He didn’t want to have this conversation in the slightest.  
“It’s none of your business.”  
“Hell yes, it’s my business.” His voice was starting to raise as he responded, anger starting to creep on to his face. “As a man under my command, it makes it my business.”  
“When I’m ready, sure, whatever you want. I’ll let her do whatever she wants. Just not now, Erwin. I want to make sure that HQ isn’t a threat if Petra and her gaggle of goons shows up again looking for me. I’m not putting anyone in danger that I don’t have to.” Erwin couldn’t say no to that, even though there were enough Nephilim in that building to fend of 90% of attacks from the Legion. Short of them sending in every single demon and body at their disposal, they’d fend it off.   
“You’ve got a week, Levi. After that, I’m coming back and I’m splitting you up completely. Then you are going to be cooperative in the fact Hanji will want to get her hands on your for a medical.” He was stalking past him towards the balcony as he spoke, anger bubbling under the surface and it was clear that he didn’t want to direct it at Levi right now. “I’ll send someone over to fix the doors.”

He watched him leave, flying off into the sky, his mind thoroughly on the fact everyone seemed to want to split them up. He couldn’t. He wouldn’t let that happen. Not on his watch.

His ears picked up the subtle clinking of glass underfoot, feeling the familiar comforting weight at the back of his mind, soothing just enough to make him look up for the page he’d not turned in around 10 minutes. He was soon looking back to it, Eren not entering straight away, looking up only when he sat down at the end of the bed. “Hey, I’m back. Did everything go alright?” Levi watched him take off his shoes.  
“Not particularly…”   
“Why? What happened?” Eren stopped as he started on his right foot, looking Levi’s direction, grey eyes back on the book, though clearly not reading.  
“He didn’t say anything on the matter of asking why Annie defected.” Eren continued taking his shoes off, Levi soon gesturing to the harness, thankful the male followed suit and started to unbuckle himself across the chest and around his waist. “He seemed sympathetic, sure, but he was more worried about Mikasa and if she’d follow suit.”  
“Thankfully, she hasn’t.” Levi nodded, watching Eren step out of the harness and toss it aside on to the chair in the corner of the room, quick to crawl on to the bed and wrap himself around him from behind. “Anything else? You seem worried.”   
“He gave me a week to go see Hanji for a full medical and…” He took a deep breath, “and to agree to not be with you anymore until this mess with Petra is sorted. To which I think he meant until he knows what’s going on.” He turned slightly, the book still open in his hands, turning his head to look at Eren, lying slightly at the other rested on his elbow, looking down. “He wants to separate us and I don’t want that to happen, Eren.”  
"That's not going to happen while I'm still here, pet. Don't you worry." his voice was a low, protective growl, his glare directed at the coverlet beneath him as he wondered what had made Erwin think to try to separate them would be a good idea.

"It seems the world is conspiring against my attempts to not have to form a contract with you. But if we do it might help ease your fears. Because he'll never be able to take you somewhere I can't find you if I own your soul. You'll always be able to feel me wherever you are, like I'm right there, even if I'm still fighting to get to you."

When Eren put it that way, he couldn’t see a downside to it. He’d get to keep his wings, and he’d get to keep Eren at his side, and if he wasn’t side by side with the male holding him close, he would always be able to find him. He knew the consequences. He knew what it would entail, the only thing he didn’t know was how. He also didn’t just want the demon before him, deep, deep down he wanted the Nephilim, and he wanted for Mikasa to get Annie back at whatever the cost. 

The way Eren looked, the way he was acting, he could see it was the last thing on his mind right now. He’d never pushed for this, he’d never mentioned it unless he’d had to and he was grateful for that. It was something he’d never even considered given the fact he thought that he would end up losing his wings in the process. But now… he knew otherwise. He didn’t want to be separated. He didn’t think he could handle it anymore.

“What do I have to do?”

"It's going to hurt. Like hell," he muttered. "But I suppose you already knew that."  
Levi nodded, his expression not changing. It wasn't like either of them weren't thoroughly accustomed to pain at this point so really it was to be expected that the idea hadn't been a deterrent.

"Alright. Decide what you want in return. Given what you're paying with it could probably be anything." he shrugged, still not having the slightest idea what Levi would wish for if it wasn't keeping his wings. "Once you decide, we go through the formalities, I'll have to get some blood from you," he paused, motioning to his palm to indicate that it wasn't going to be anything traumatic. "And then we seal the deal and whatever you asked for takes effect. Shouldn't be too intense, given how often we kiss." The demon chuckled, shifting on the bed a little. "I can't really tell you what else will change for you until we do it, because I won't know. But I'll always know where you are, and we'll always be able to use the link that the contract will make to talk telepathically without it taking so much out of me."

He was sitting up again now, stretching, as he turned and sat cross-legged on the bed. As Eren moved, so did he. Levi pushed himself so he was sitting upright but his legs out in front of him, feet against the covers with his knees bent. His hands went to the covers either side of his hips, looking to Eren, who was giving him a mischievous grin as he spoke  
"So, Levi. What is it that you'll sell me your soul for?"

He hesitated, racking his brain for the words to go from his mind to his vocal cords.  
“I…” He got to keep his wings, he didn’t have to worry about putting that on to the end. He got to always be with Eren, so he didn’t have to say anything about that either. “I want the Nephilim back.”  
“You need to be a little more specific, Levi. What is it you’ll sell me your soul for?” 

Levi hesitated for a moment, trying to think how to put this into words. There was no way back. He hadn’t found one. Eren might be the first, but he might not be the last.  
Plus, from all the research he’d been doing on the defected and Eren’s situation, he knew the Nephilim might still be in there somewhere. The only technicality were the wings not being present. This might be his end, but for others… he didn’t want anyone, not even his worst enemy, to go through his.

“I want Nephilim... that have been... and will be taken over by demonic presence... to be able to come home and to overcome it.”  
“To give them a way back?”  
“Yes.” Eren shifted, reaching to the bedside table drawer, pulling out a small dagger and moving back to Levi. He held out his own palm, his left, dragging the dagger slowly over it, red starting to pool out of the wound, holding his hand up, to stem the flow and stop the blood dripping on to the bed. Levi instantly held his own out without question, Eren quick to knick the flesh and move his own to take hold of Levi’s hand, throwing the dagger to the floor after wiping the blood across his redshirt. He used his now free hand to part Levi’s legs, moving between them and gazing into his eyes, Levi giving a small nod to say that it was alright, that it was ok to still continue. 

Lips met his own and it was electrifying. His whole body seemed like a live wire as his eyes were forced closed as pain racked through him. Eren’s free hand moved up to thread into his hair, to stop him pulling away as his soul started to sizzle inside of him with white-hot pain. The cry of agony was caught within Eren’s mouth as he pressed firmly, deepening it now he had a hold on his head, to try and distract from the pain. 

It didn’t work.

His body started to shake as he felt his soul start to leave him, start to be pulled out of him and replaced by something else. It felt wrong, it felt inky and black and cold, unlike the bright white, welcoming nature of his soul. He could still feel it though, as the blackness took hold of it within him and pulled it back. He could almost imagine it happening. A brilliant ball of white being gripped by stringy black tendrils, hanging between them but held firm. Eren’s lips broke from his as the process continued, Levi’s scream now echoing around them, the demons not far behind it at their left hands gripped each other like steel, threatening to crush and shatter the bones in both hands as blood dripped between them. His vision began to swim, to fog as his head became heavy. The pain flashed through him as it started to dull, becoming white-hot again for a second, before dying down again. He couldn’t take this, it felt like his body was being torn limb from limb. He wanted nothing more than for it to end, for the pain to not become his new state of being.

His whole body felt like it had been dipped whole into the burning fires of hell. But that wasn’t the worst of it. He could feel every nerve alight with pain, but his left hand… his left hand began to surpass it all, ripping another pained cry from him as it felt like it was being doused in holy oil, set on fire, stabbed and cut off all at once.

It was an unnatural process, as unnatural as the way his soul had become to reside in the Nephilim body that fateful day they all agreed to become what they were. The soul was never meant to leave the body, and now Levi’s had left twice. He knew this was tamer for humans but for a Nephilim this was just simply unheard of.

The point in which he thought he wasn’t going to be able to take much more, was the point it started to die, and quickly, he noted. He was left a panting wreck, having both fallen on to their sides, hands still pressed firmly together between them, his eyes barely focusing. But then it hit him, it hit him that if his wish, for lack of a better word, had come true, then it would be green that would be staring back at him once he looked to those all familiar eyes. He forced his eyes to remain open, seeing Eren in about as good a state as he was, but the thing that met him was pure, undiluted gold. The worried expression that crossed his face, mingling with some other emotions fighting to get face time.   
“What? You didn’t think it’d be as easy as wishing for it, did you? You asked for a way, not for any of them to be back. A way is what you got.” 

He had to remember to breathe, to keep his lungs moving as his body said a firm no to any and all emotions and any contact. He tried to uncurl his hand but his fingers were far too stiff as a slightly watery gaze directed to the covers between them. His body wasn’t able to stay in the land of the living much longer, blackness enveloping his vision as he saw half of the mischievous smirk pull back on to Eren’s lips, a chuckle meeting his ears as his world became nothing but the inky blackness of unconscious sleep.


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This one... isn't pretty.  
> Be warned. Pain, torture, and sadness await.

Levi twitched as he woke the next morning, his hand instinctively clenching, feeling the crusted blood left behind, telling him none of it was a dream. He blinked his eyes open, forcing himself to sit upright. A quick glance told him that he and Eren were on opposite sides of the bed, but could have sworn he was lying against his side, not with half the mattress between him. He drew in a shaky breath as he looked to his right hand, seeing the blood around a completely healed palm, itching to take a shower as he moved out of the bed, he stopped, his left hand catching his attention.

The tribal patterns now tattooed on to his skin were a startling red, snaking up across his veins to his wrist, curling round and if they were to keep going, they’d be crawling up his forearm like a vine. He was rather thankful they weren’t.

Levi noticed as he padded across to the ensuite bathroom, that he was no longer in pain. He felt awake, too, and could feel Eren perfectly as he closed the door carefully, trying not to wake the sleeping male. He was soon stripping, turning on the shower and standing just outside the glass doors, letting his hand slip under the stream of water, the hot water washing away the blood. 

He couldn’t explain it. He felt…  _ better. _ Better than he had in weeks. It felt like he’d finally been able to grab hold of the restful night sleep he’d been hopelessly chasing. He left the water wash over him, taking his time unlike yesterday morning, to wash away everything that he could. His eyes even looked to the door as he felt Eren stir in the other room. It was a weird feeling, and one he definitely would need to get used to, not that he minded the feeling in the slightest. 

Levi definitely felt happier, knowing now that he couldn’t be taken away from Eren by anyone, and if they tried he’d always be able to find his way home, no matter where he was or who tried to separate them. His body was thrumming with energy and he was damn sure it wasn’t his own as he stepped out the shower and wrapped a towel around himself. A hand came up to wipe away at the steam and condensation clinging to the mirror above the sink, making a swipe mark so he could see himself. 

He still looked physically worn out, still thin, as he’d come to know himself over the past weeks, but his eyes looked more awake, more alert as he looked over his face, water running tracks from his hair down the skin of his neck and hitting the collar still around his neck. Thankfully it was such a durable piece of leather, the water running off it in beads. 

He couldn’t get over how  _ good _ he felt. He felt more like himself, more like the Levi Rivaille worthy of the title of Lance Corporal. The thought made a small smile grace his lips as he looked down into the sink, hands gripping the basin. His eyes were soon pulled to his left hand, looking at the intricate tribal patterns now adorning his skin, wondering if they would stay there or not, since it was something he hadn’t come across in the research he’d conducted.

The thought of research pulled his mind on to Hanji, and Petra’s words about telling him to get the hell out of the apartment and away from Eren completely. Then it pulled him to Erwin’s same words, wanting to split them up indefinitely. But hadn’t that been why he’d agreed to make the contract in the first place? So that he and Eren would never be separated? Though he supposed they weren’t, not really, he could still feel that the demon was sleeping soundly after stirring for that brief moment, probably having heard the shower running. 

Levi could feel that his mind didn’t feel as fogged, felt like he could  _ think  _ again and as he thought more and more on what had happened, what they’d done, a look of realization pulled across his features. Had he actually agreed to this? Had he made the decision under sound judgment? He couldn’t answer an honest yes to either question, as his eyes stayed firmly on the tribal marking across the back of his hand. 

What had he done? How had he let himself be pulled in to making a  _ contract  _ with a  _ demon _ ? He couldn’t understand. He just couldn’t recall how it had happened, his mind searching for the point in which it had all started to go downhill, rolling his shoulders subconsciously as he felt the phantom ache of where the crop had come down on his back in the punishment he ‘rightly deserved’. But had he? 

Yes… Yes he had deserved it. He’d been the one in the wrong. He’d made Eren upset with his behaviour. He hadn’t been the good boyfriend he should be. Noone had believed him, they’d told him he was crazy. It wasn’t until Levi had become dangerously thin that Erwin decided something was wrong. But a small part of him thought… wondered if Jean had been right? Had Mikasa?

He knew for a fact he couldn’t stay here, not while he had such questions on his mind. As much as he wanted to stay firmly where he was, and walk back out and rouse Eren from slumber with a soft kiss... he knew he couldn’t. He needed to clear his head more, needed to get back in a frame of mind he recognized. He couldn’t do that here, he knew he couldn’t, not when Eren was a major distraction he’d never say no to. Not when his brain fogged like it did. 

He moved quickly yet quietly, the ghost of his former self showing through given his light feet against the floor, moving around silently collecting clothes and pulling them on hastily, managing jeans and pullover top that was a little too big for him, plus his hunting boots, his jeans hanging over the leather now round his calves. He was heading towards the door, having closed the bedroom door quietly, but felt Eren stir significantly behind it as he got to the kitchen, stopping there quickly to search for keys, not finding any and grabbing the key from the drawer where he’d stashed it. He grabbed his phone from the coffee table, eyes looking over the glass as he pocketed everything, looking to the balcony for a long while, a moment too long as his feet took him towards it, hearing the door to his bedroom open quickly.

"Where'd you think you're running off to so early, Levi?" He felt his whole body lock in place, the happy tone the demon used not doing anything to disguise the anger he felt from him. He couldn't move and that scared him. Guilt was starting to overtake him along with the anxiety creeping into his system. He knew this wasn't going to end well. "Last night was a big deal, you know. Perhaps we should talk about it some more, you should tell me how you're feeling."

The lazy smirk that settled on Eren's face as he crossed the room towards him did nothing to ease how he was feeling, even more so when an instant later he felt his body move without his say so, dropping to his knees and falling forwards onto his hands, the sharp sting of glass biting at his palm barely registering as his world began to crumble around him. He didn't have to speak how he felt, Eren would already know, he couldn’t even bring his vocal cords to work properly. 

"I guess by now you've realised a few of the little side effects that I didn't highlight last night.."

Fear started to become the most dominant emotion within him as the realisation that his free will had been taken away but him full force. Up until this point he always had the option to leave, even if he wouldn't get far when he tried, at least he had been able to try. But now, he couldn't even get his arms and legs to put him back on to his feet, to take him in the direction of the balcony. It scared him that he couldn't more, undiluted fear at the fact if he could be forced to his knees, it meant his free will now belonged to Eren. What other side effects had he not known about? He felt awful just thinking about it, just thinking that he could no longer leave if he wanted to, or try at the very least. He was well and truly trapped, and that thought terrified him. How had this not turned up in anything he'd read lately?

As Eren got close enough to touch, he crouched down beside Levi, fingers looping through the steel ring still at his throat in order to pull him to his feet and back in the direction of their bedroom, still smirking the whole way. He was angry, yes, but his intentions weren't violent. Not this time. He didn't need to be that violent any more to get his point across.

It wasn't until they'd sat down on the bed again, more or less as they had been last night, that Eren gave him back a more full range of movement. There was no point trying to leave, he knew that. Eren would just stop him again… or worse.

Yawning and stretching, Eren paused, leaning over to the bedside table and scooping up a small brass object which he sat turning through his fingers. Levi’s eyes looked towards the small object in Eren’s hands, realising it was a key. "What else don't I know about?" Levi's voice was hesitant but it made Eren look up again, the smirk turning devious as he reached out and ran his hand down the side of Levi's face. The gesture would have been a caring one if it weren't for the fact that both of them were aware how annoyed he was, how his intentions were anything but good.

"I expect you'll find that out as we go along. This was the biggest." And by that, he meant Levi's lack of free will. "Honestly, I'm surprised that you're surprised. Did you not think about what the word 'ownership' entails before you agreed to it?" Eren shrugged, answering his own question without giving Levi time to speak. "Obviously not. I thought you'd have done more research into it having Hanji for a close friend."

“It didn’t come up… in any of the things I read…” 

His hands settled on Levi's wrists, the fingers of his right gently stroking against the new marks on his skin just to remind him physically that they were there. That they were permanent, to an extent. "I'm still the same person I was last night, Levi. Why would you try to leave me, knowing how important this was?" And now he looked hurt, sounded hurt, his face screwing into a troubled frown as he looked down at their hands. "I thought this was what you wanted. I thought this would make you happy... I... I'm not causing you any pain, am I?" his voice wavered, and then he sighed, shaking his head a little before holding Levi's eyes with his own. "The only person here guilty of doing that is you.  _ Again. _ "

The words hit him square in the chest. He moved after a beat of hesitation, pulling Eren into a tight hug quickly, "I'm sorry." Eren nodded, wrapping his arms across Levi's waist and pressing a kiss to his forehead.

"I know. And it's okay, you obviously didn't know how important last night was for me. It was just a little worrying, that's all." He allowed himself to be guided on to his back, arms still up around Eren's neck from the hug. He was still reeling from being a passenger in his own body as it walked behind Eren's obediently without his say so. For all intents and purposes, it felt like he was possessed. Like he was watching through his eyes while another being was allowed to steer his feet into following after the demon who had had his fingers threaded through the ring on the front of his collar. "I can forgive you, though. If you tell me you love me."

He froze solid, knowing he had no choice in this. If he didn't comply and say the words willingly, he was going to be forced to say the words he didn't think he wanted to say. "Eren... I..." His voice stopped, hitched, the hesitation in his voice creeping in to display in his eyes. He thought he'd get a few seconds, but he was sorely mistaken. His eyes had softened almost instantly, his right hand pulling from messy brown hair as he felt a flood of emotion sweep through his system. His fingers trailed along Eren's jaw in an action that coaxed the male closer, their lips becoming inches apart. His voice took on an almost illegal husky tone as his eyes looked deep into gold. "I love you, Eren Jaeger. Now  _ kiss me _ ." His body became his own again and he relaxed, his eyes darting back and forth between the demons above him as he breathed out slowly, shakily as his mind replayed what had just happened. 

It felt so foreign, so alien to lose all control and had to watch and hear what was happening. He hadn't even been able to scream internally as the deep-seated feelings he felt were dragged to the surface and pushed through his veins. Lips pressed firmly against his own and his body tensed as it happened. His hands pulled down, resting against the front of Eren’s shoulders, pushing firmly and pushing him up, stopping the kiss dead as his eyes opened and stared at the gold that greeted him from above. Fear flashed through his eyes as his brain whirred quickly, working overtime in regards to the fact he’d just pushed the demon away. 

Mistake number one and he knew it.

"Is something wrong? You wanted a kiss." Levi knew full well that Eren knew the answer, that he knew the command had been one that had come with being forced to say the words. He didn’t want this. Not like this. "Didn't you?” He hadn’t, not this way. Not now.

“This... it’s wrong.. I… I didn’t want this like this… I wanted it to be… to be real between us.”

He couldn’t help but think that this was wrong on so many levels. He was practically being forced to do this. He didn’t have his free will anymore, only some semblance that he was being granted to have, and by hell, if he wasn’t going to grab it with both hands and make damn sure he tried everything in his small amount of power to stop this from happening. He pushed harder, pushing Eren into a sitting position, scooting himself up against the headboard in a frightened gesture. “Not like this. I never wanted this. It’s wrong. It’s so wrong it’s not even anywhere near the line of right. I can’t do it. I can’t.” He was half mumbling to himself by the end of the sentence and he couldn’t help but look away from the golden eyes that were looking towards him. 

Grey eyes looked towards the covers under his bare feet, starting to water slightly as it came crashing down on his mind that Eren could do  _ anything he wanted _ and he wouldn’t be able to say a single word against him, wouldn’t be able to stop him in the slightest due to not having any control while the link between them was in full effect from the demon manipulating it. “Look at me.” His eyes snapped up instantly, meeting an amused golden gaze, Levi meeting it was a subtle form of fear.

“No. I can’t…” Despite his words, he couldn’t look away, not in the slightest, feeling a tug near his chest that was telling him to not look away until ordered to do so.

"Yes, you can." The words did nothing to comfort him, not at all, and as soon as he was boxed in, he shrunk back against the headboard, his back firmly against the wooden bars behind him, his arms around his stomach, head turned away, looking to the strip of sunshine along the light colour of the carpet. "Look at me, Levi.  _ Let me in _ ." His eyes slowly closed at the contact of the hand against his cheek, making him shiver involuntarily, causing his head to flinch away from the contact. "This is real, Levi. There's nothing wrong about loving me too, is there? Do you regret it now?"

He didn’t have a response. He just couldn’t answer Eren on either question. All he could do was open his eyes and look back to him with an expression of fear, of doubt, all mingled up and shaken with some confusion thrown in for good measure. “I don’t even know how to start to answer that, Eren…” He didn’t trust himself. He didn’t trust the way he was feeling just in case he wasn’t the one feeling it. What if these feelings and emotions had just been forced on to him? He couldn’t trust it, and more importantly, he couldn’t trust himself to know what he was feeling. His instincts were useless to him, right now, and he doubted that they would be useful to him for a long time to come if this carried on… 

And he couldn’t see an end in sight, to this torment.

"I'm sorry, I should never have done that to you. Not like that." He almost pushed him away, until he noticed the difference in the hug and could feel the connection between them wasn't the cause of it, so he let it happen. "I don't want you to be scared of me. I'm supposed to be the person who protects you and looks after you." As Eren let go, guilt started to form within his mind, watching him silently from where he was sat at the top of the bed. "I guess I should give you some time to think about all of this. About whether you regret making the contract or not. About whether you regret what we have." 

He didn't move, but thankful Eren had shut the door behind him when he realised he wasn't following. 

Grey eyes stayed fixed on the wood of the door, eyes soon roaming to his harness hooked up on the back of it, the weapons glinting in the stripe of the sun that was filtering through the balcony doors through the curtains.

He didn't want Eren to feel the way he was, but everything had been entirely overwhelming. It was his own fault he hadn't known about this side of the contract. He thought he'd still have his free will, still be able to move freely, but Eren would hold his soul and when he died it would fully become the demons. 

The sad thing was that the Nephilim half of Eren probably knew exactly the consequence. He was the one that did the research, not him. His research over the past weeks clearly showed he wasn't any good at it if he hadn’t found this. He found it tedious to do when his efforts could be spent elsewhere. Like doing recon on a building or actually finding the demons they were hunting. There was no use both of them sitting down holed up in a room doing endless research. 

Maybe because he hadn’t intended to do this, that he’d completely missed this.

He was curled up for almost two hours, head resting against the headboard just thinking everything over and over in his head, managing to corner himself in to answer he could give honestly. Levi pushed himself up and off the mattress, heading over to the door and pulling it open, his harness shifting against it heavily with clinks of metal. He moved across to the living room, feeling how cold it was and giving a shiver, thankful he had his boots on given the small pieces of glass on the floor. "Eren...?" The other didn't look up from where he was curled up on the sofa staring out past the broken doors leading to the balcony, "Eren I'm sorry..." He sighed, guilt flooding his system along with a strong sense of love that he was feeling himself. He moved, stepping on to the sofa with his knees, moving limbs until Eren was on his back and watching him, Levi crawling up and over his body carefully, one knee against the top of Eren's thigh, the other against his knee. "I don't regret it... I should have known better. This keeps us together, whether anyone likes it or not. And... I... I don't regret us. Just, let me say the fact that I love you, on my own?" He smiled a warm smile down at the demon, waiting for the words to kick in as his hand moved to rest against the armrest at the side of Eren's head, bracing himself so he didn't fall as his other hand rested against the man's chest lightly.

"Alright." he tilted his head, kissing Levi's wrist. “Don't be scared of me anymore, Levi. I can't stand that." His eyes closed as Eren's hands rubbed circles into his shoulders, the gesture comforting and familiar. "I'm sorry too. I felt you leaving and I just.. maybe I was scared too? Even I get scared sometimes.." As the demon's hands balled into fists around the back of his shirt, pulling him closer slightly, his eyes opened, seeing the other’s eyes closed. The display of emotion was confusing him slightly, but he could now feel the feelings he could see, it helped to know how he felt rather than just seeing it on the demon's face. The honesty and vulnerability that he could feel hit home and hit a nerve he just couldn't ignore. 

"I'm sorry, I don't want you to be scared either. We just... We need to get used to this.  _ Both of us do. _ " He moved forward slowly, closing the gap and pressed their lips together, happiness swelling within him as Eren kissed back, hands running along his face from over his shoulders, one hand fisting into his hair. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Two days passed by since the sealing of the contract. Neither of them left, staying firmly within the walls of the apartment, or as far as Levi was concerned they did. He had no clue if Eren left while sleeping and honestly the thought never crossed his mind. He was currently sitting lounging on the sofa watching Eren cook in the kitchen across the flat, thankful for the half open plan kitchen and lounge. The sight was one he liked to see now, the Nephilim had never been allowed near the kitchen at any cost, since Levi had always been pretty sure the Nephilim would burn the place down without even trying. Not that Eren had ever complained, Levi wasn't a bad cook in the slightest. It smelled amazing, whatever it was he was cooking, because every time he tried to ask he just got a smirk that he could only half see as Eren ignored his questions and carried on. 

They were doing better, to say the least. Eren had listened to him and hadn't pushed anything on the connection they shared, or that he could recall him doing, anyway. He felt like things were starting to work, no one having come to try and tear them apart. They both knew it was only a matter of time, and he looked back to the book against his thighs as Erwin's threat of giving them a week crossed his mind. He shifted uncomfortably, shoulders against the armrest, a pillow beneath them as he pulled his legs up a little more, knees bent so he could read the book a little better, eyes drifting upwards to Eren every now and then for a moment, before heading back down to the words across the pages.

A knock at the door soon pulled him from his book, having stopped asking what they were eating for some time now. He watched Eren head over to the door, pulling it open.

"Mikasa. Hi. We're just about to eat, so you came at a good time." Grey eyes watched her, pulling his body up into a more respectable sitting position for company, his lower back now leaning against the armrest, the pillow still wedged between it and his body. He watched as she sat, straight backed and clearly tense.

"Afternoon Ackerman."

"Sir." She looked directly at him, their eyes connecting for a brief few seconds before they headed downwards, looking to his neck.

Why was she here? Now? He was expecting the next visit to be from Erwin. She looked back up to his face, Levi getting caught within her stare, a slight frown tugged at her forehead, but never quite managing to be brought into existence fully. He couldn't look away, his hands closing the book blindly, almost jumping as Eren's voice cut through his mind, looking to him sharply. "Come on, foods up. It'll get cold."

It wasn't until they'd eaten and settled on the sofa again that things got interesting. 

"So what did you drop by for aside from dinner?" Eren asked, stretching and leaning a little further back, his arm wrapped around Levi's waist to hold him close. It was an odd feeling, the idea that it was Levi's presence that was comforting him this time around instead of him protecting Levi from anyone else.

"I've been gone for a long time, Eren." she replied, a small smile on her face despite the fact that her eyes possessed a certain hardness to them that told them both she wasn't just making a social call. That they were in effect already partially playing a game of cat and mouse. "I wanted to see if you were okay. Armin told me that a lot has happened while I wasn't here, and to be honest, I'm not sure if you being with Levi is a good idea."

The second he tensed up the grip around him got tighter, his own hands tightening their hold on Eren's forearm. Why did everyone want to separate them? Too bad they couldn't now, not really. No matter how far apart they were, they'd always be together. Till death do them part. 

"Did Erwin send you? Did he tell you how he tried to pull us apart? How he colluded with Armin behind my back? Did he?!" He could sense the rising anger, the annoyance, the dissatisfaction with the situation. 

"Eren, it's okay." As he spoke, he moved closer, a hand moving to his neck across his chest, to try and calm him down. He didn't want the facade to stop, for Mikasa to see behind the curtain, so to speak. He knew the topic of Erwin was a touchy one with the demon. 

"I know. I'm sorry.. I just.. the thought of him winds me up."

"I know it does. It does me, too. Just breathe." It was lame, he'd be the first to admit that. But he needed the other to calm down. The angrier he got, the more he could feel it. It wouldn't take long for Levi to be in the same state. "Look at me." His voice was soft, green eyes moving from the balcony doors to his own grey. A flash of gold behind the eyes that only Levi would catch. He knew what that look meant. 

_ If you need to go. Go. Don't let  _ **_them_ ** _ get to you. I'll be fine. _

His words weren't vocal, but he knew Eren would hear them all the same, the dart of his eyes between his confirmed it along with a small sigh. 

"I've gotta clear my head. I need a walk." They both moved, practically untangling themselves as Eren headed towards his shoes, slipping them on and quickly heading out the room. 

"I'm on to you." It was almost the instant the door closed, Levi's eyes going to Mikasa's. "I know something's wrong here. That?" She gestured to the door, " _ that  _ wasn't my brother."

"Of course it was. Who else would it be?" Mikasa's eyes narrowed as she watched him. 

"Not Eren. This is your fault, I know it."

"Nothing is my fault. You don't have the right to come in here accusing me of anything."

"I have every right when it comes to him. I know damn well it's your fault,  _ Sir _ . And I will prove it. Mark my words."

"Consider them marked." Her words had rung true within his head, not that he was showing that outwardly. She stood, Levi doing the same, his hands pulling in to loose fists. "Is this seriously what you came here for? To accuse me of things that aren't true?"

"I came because I knew that something was wrong. If you've done  _ anything _ to hurt him..." She left the threat hanging as she moved closer to him, a hand moving out slowly and her fingers loosely taking hold of the steel ring at the front of his neck, tugging enough to pull the leather against his neck, but not enough to move him. "Suits you." Her fingers fell away and she moved. He didn't know whether to be offended or not... "Don't think I'm going anywhere." She spoke as she moved towards the door, and once she got there, hand opening it slowly, she looked over her shoulder, pulling her scarf up around her face, fixing him with a knowing stare. "I'll be watching." She headed out the door quickly, shutting the door behind her. 

He relaxed, hand coming up to his neck, his fingers threading through the ring on the collar and pulling, something he'd gotten into the habit of in the last week or so, not having realised he was doing it until Eren gave him a weird look when he'd done it at the start of last week. It felt like it helped to ground him, the gesture somewhat comforting. Her words rang in his head,  _ "I know damn well it's your fault," _ and he couldn't help but agree. 

It was always his fault that Eren ended up in pain. Erwin wouldn't be a touchy subject if it wasn't for him. If it wasn't for him, Eren wouldn't have had to endure the pain of their contract. If it weren't for him... None of this would have happened. He looked at the balcony doors as he sat back down carefully, fingers still through the steel ring at the front of his collar. His mind was telling him he needed to leave, to clear his head like Eren's excuse to get out of the room to stop Mikasa seeing through the cracks in his armour. But on the other hand, his body was telling him to stay put, to wait for Eren to come home. 

_ She's gone, Eren. _

He looked to the sky outside the balcony doors, the sky already darkening. 

He felt like crap, now, thanks to Mikasa. He felt Eren having to leave was his fault, if it wasn't for him... Eren wouldn't be angry.

He looked around as he heard the bedroom door open, moving to stand and turning his body, Eren crashing into him in a right hug seconds later. His own arms pulled up to hold around the others waist as he felt Eren's hands curl against the fabric of his top. “I’m sorry I had to leave you like that.” All he could feel was fear and that didn't sit right with him. Fear wasn't something he should feel from the demon in his arms. It was alien. It was just plain  _ wrong. _ “I know they can’t take us away from each other anymore, but I can’t do anything to her, not without it being found out. And if we leave, they’ll hunt us down for sure. Why can’t they just leave us alone.” Levi's eyes followed him as he paced before him, fearful and angry. It was starting to make him feel more afraid, not of Eren, but of the situation. It was mingling with his own emotions and he didn't know how to stop it. “I’ve killed my own kind for them, haven’t I? I’ve proved that all I care about is you. All I want is  _ you _ , I’m not threatening them by existing.” 

He followed behind him to the bedroom, seeing him curl up on the bed and going to curl up with him, to give him the warmth and comfort he clearly needed. If he could help, he'd do it. He knew now that he'd move the world for the man he was now lying against, if he could. “I’m sorry. I’m supposed to be strong for you and here I am, stressing out. Maybe I’m not as good at protecting you as I should be.”

"Even the strongest people need protecting sometimes. You'll always be able to protect me, but let me protect you for a change." His words were sincere, slowing his breathing to try and stop the panic and the stress and the fear running through him, trying to channel that to Eren, he had no clue if it was working or not, but he kept doing it, falling silent for a while until his eyes closed. "We'll find a way. They can't hurt us."

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


“Back to mouth off again, Ackerman? Did you not say your piece last night?” His fingers increased around the book, extremely conscious of his left hand, subtly hiding it from view. Thankfully the tribal patterns had died down to just a thin red line around his ring finger. He hadn't thought he'd needed the gloves stashed in the pockets of his trench coat today. 

“No, sir. I came back to apologise for what I said last night. After talking to Armin and Jean about everything I’ve missed, it’s obvious I made a mistake.” He finally looked up, having stopped reading the second she'd opened the balcony doors anyway. He stayed quiet, schooling his expression into blank indifference as she continued after a small nod of her head. Well at least rank was still respected. “I’m sorry, Lance Corporal. I should never have blamed you, and I should have come back to address this the moment Jean called me and told me that something was wrong with Eren.”

“When did Jean call you?” 

“A few weeks ago.” Weeks?! He could have been saved from all of this if someone had just believed what they’d been told?! “I came back to help you, and to help him.”

“What’s done is done. You can help by leaving us alone.”

“It’s too late for that, sir. I already know what’s happened to Eren.” His hands closed the book slowly as she spoke, Levi not being able to look away from her eyes, capturing him and keeping him there, urging him to pay attention. 

“You don't know anything.” 

“I know you’re the victim here, sir. Let me be clear on that, but the only way to stop this from happening, to stop Eren from being hurt any more, is to walk out of that door with me right now and to let us take him to Hanji.”

Hanji hadn't listened. No one had listened to him when he'd said there was something wrong. Why would they now? “Come with me, come back and stay with Jean, even if it’s just for a day so that we can help him, sir.  _ Please _ . One day is all I ask.”

"Why should I trust you when you were so quick to blame it all on me?" It was clear now that he wasn't hiding the fact that something was wrong, his voice starting to slip with letting emotions through, but his face still schooled. 

"Because you know me. You know that I admit when I‘m wrong if the facts don't line up with my first judgement." He placed the book down, shaking his head and moving to stand, walking away from her.  _ "Sir, Please." _ he stopped, leaning against the breakfast bar with his hands. 

"I can’t just leave. I can't." He knew damn well if he tried to leave again, it wouldn't end well for either of them. He didn't want anyone else to get hurt because of him, himself sure, but not anyone else. 

"Of course you can. Get your boots on and I'll take you to Jean and Marco's." Jean's face flooded his mind as she said his name again. 

"I can't trust him. He left. He didn't come back."

"He never stopped trying. He knew Eren wouldn't let him stick around to try and help." His eyes were focused on the breakfast bar, the frown that had settled on his face starting to ease its way in to worry he more and more Mikasa spoke. "I'll call him, he can tell you himself." He moved like lightning and made her take a step back when he was suddenly in front of her, his hands taking hold of her wrist, preventing her from messaging the tall Nephilim with the device on her wrist. 

"No. Don't."

"Lance Corporal..."

"No ones getting hurt because of me. You do that and Jean won't stand a chance. You need to leave." He dropped his hands, Mikasa now reaching out to take hold of his hand quickly, threading their fingers together and pulling. 

"Come with me.  _ I can help you _ ." Their eyes connected again and Levi's fear started to bleed into his expression. "Don't let him control you."

"He already does." His voice was quiet, scared as he tried to pull his hand out of her grasp, the woman not letting him. 

"Then break free of him and come with me. We can protect you. You know we aren't incapable."

He at least knew that much. Levi wasn't blind, he'd hunted with Mikasa and she was excellent. She excelled enough to make it through a couple of months with him before he'd had enough of the stone faced silent attitude, but had given her high recommendation for deep cover, having said she would be a perfect match. He'd even said the same for Annie, even though she'd only lasted a few days with him. He did have a knack for knowing where people would be best suited.

Jean was in the same boat. The man was capable, he just wasn't a good fit paired with Levi. They were far too similar in personality and style. For this life you needed differences to make things work. It's why he and Eren had got on so well and actually ended up seeing each other, spiralling and evolving into something far more before either of them had realised. 

"Mikasa, I..." He was starting to crack, his emotions now completely evident, it clear he wanted to leave, but the thought of Eren starting to feel annoyed was holding him back. "He's going to be angry. I don't want anyone else hurt because of me."

"We can handle it. Please, we don't have time for this here. We can sort it back at Jean's." The name seemed to be smashing through the worry, the hesitation. The fact he'd never gave up on him after seeing something had been clearly wrong made him think he'd never be able to thank him no matter how hard he tried. "Jeans expecting you, Levi, please." She tugged on his hand, Levi stopped her. 

"I... I need my boots." She let go and darted past him to the front door. She grabbed the first boots she saw, them being his hunting ones and pushing him down onto the sofa as soon as she got to him, Levi's hands shaking slightly as he tried his damnedest to hide the way he was feeling from the connection he and Eren shared. 

He knew full well Eren would be able to sense what was happening right now, to what extent he wasn't sure, but he'd be able to feel how he was feeling. He couldn't hide that no matter what he tried as he quickly pulled both zips up and shoved his jeans back down and over them. He stood, Mikasa leading the way to the balcony, the woman getting there first and turning round, seeing Levi with a look of pure fear on his face as he looked up and behind her, seeing Eren with a thunderous expression crossing his face, Levi unable to physically move as the demons anger flooded through his system along with his free will being hindered. "Mikasa run, now. Go."

"I'm not leaving you."

"Yes you fucking are. Go. That's an order." She didn't have time to obey, as she'd headed back into the apartment to shield him, seeing the obvious fear lining his face and hearing his voice tremble. It was hard to stomach, Levi being like this.

Both sets of eyes were on Eren as he landed, slowly walking through with calculated steps, slowly closing the balcony doors to keep them all inside. "Eren..."

"No." Green locked with grey and he felt his vocal cords seize up, the demon taking away his ability to speak, though he guessed to Mikasa it just looked like he was following the obvious command in the authoritative 'no' to stop talking.

Mikasa was still standing between Levi and Eren, shielding him as best she could as she folded her arms across her chest and levelled him with a glare that had never been turned on him once in his entire time of knowing her. A glare that she reserved solely for prey.

“I talked to Jean and Armin,  _ Eren _ .” her voice was quiet but unmistakably threatening, and his name made it all too clear that she knew she was no longer talking to the Nephilim who she considered her brother. Not really. It was like the curtain had already dropped behind those dark eyes - like she was already deciding to what extent it would be safe to hurt him if she had to. “I already know what’s wrong.”

“Then I suggest you go and  _ ‘talk’  _ to them some more,  _ Mikasa _ . Nothing is wrong here apart from you trying to split us up. Now leave, before one of us says something we’ll regret.”

Mikasa looked over her shoulder, her eyes holding Levi’s for a full thirty seconds before she bit her lip and relented. She couldn’t risk Levi getting hurt, and she already knew Eren couldn’t hurt her if he wanted to stay undetected. So far no-one besides Jean had really got suspicious and for now only she was now convinced of the truth.

Reaching out, she rested her hand on Levi’s forearm and squeezed for a split second in an effort to reassure him before she took a step back and turned back to Eren, who eyed the gesture with intense displeasure, his ever-increasing territorial wrath reaching higher levels the longer she continued to stay.

“Fine. But don’t think for one instant that this is where this ends. I’ll get you both back home safe, Levi, I promise.” He looked to her again, fear setting in deep as he watched her leave. Thanking the stars she’d been allowed to, but also wishing she was still here with him. 

The silence was deafening as Eren tried to control his anger, Levi starting to outwardly want to retreat, to move away from him. “How could you do this to me, Levi?!” The slammed fist against the counter made him jump and turn his eyes wide with fear he had no hope in hiding right now. “Why can I not trust you on your own? Why is it every time I try, you kick it back in my face and betray me?!”

He felt his body and voice returned to him, deflating slightly and taking a step back. “Out with it, Levi. I want to know your reasons before I make you feel  _ exactly  _ how much you’ve hurt me today.”

"I was just going to clear my head!! Eren I swear. I was going to come back tonight. I was going to come back to you. I just wanted to get out for a while. She invited me to see people. That's all I wanted, I swear. Eren please, I just want us to be alright." His speech was rushed, hasty as he pulled his arms towards his stomach, fear radiating from him in waves. "Please, I didn't mean to hurt you. It wasn't my intention. I was coming back... I always come back." His voice was weaker and weaker with every word. Pained fear running through it unchecked. He didn't want the beating he knew full well was coming, that bed brought on himself, and as Eren took a step towards him, he took an involuntary step back out of the pure terror that was coursing through his veins.  _ "Please..." _

“You were coming back..” Eren echoed sarcastically, his anger not calmed in the slightest. “You’re lying to me again, Levi.” he muttered, his voice low and dangerous as he took another step forward, hands on his hips. “You were going to leave me.”

There was a brief pause, but before Levi could open his mouth again to voice a denial Eren was no longer interested in hearing, his ability to do so was removed, the demon’s head tilting to the side was he watched and felt Levi come to the realisation that Eren was through allowing him to say or do anything. The thought that at least Mikasa had been able to get out before she was forced to defend herself and risk hurting Eren, the thought that she was going straight back to Jean and that she would be back, was the only comfort that he could latch onto right now. Just one more night, that was probably all he had to last. If he could go the last few weeks, he could last one more night.

The feeling of Levi steeling himself against the fear only heightened Eren’s interest, made the demon wonder how far he would have to take what he did that night before Levi truly learnt his lesson if he was gearing himself up to fight back.

“Well.. not anymore. Not after tonight.”

And then he turned, leaving Levi standing by the glass doors as he headed into the bedroom. He came back with a knife in hand and a pair of handcuffs looped between the fingers, other hand snaking out to take a firm grip of the steel ring around Levi’s neck to physically drag him along in his wake like he weighed nothing, pushing him forward over the counter on his front. It would be easier to clean up the blood if they were already near the sink, after all, as Eren didn’t want there to have to be too many reminders of this once it was over. Still, he was going to enjoy it while it lasted, because to him Levi was equally beautiful whether he was thrashing and whimpering, mindless with pleasure or whether he was numbed, covered in blood and completely still. This sight was one worth relishing too, and he didn’t get to see it half as often. Protecting Levi meant protecting him from himself, too – and this was the only way to do that right now, it seemed.

One hand pulled his wrists together as his foot kicked Levi’s ankles apart, allowing him to stand between the nephilim’s legs as he pulled Levi’s shirt off, tossing it carelessly over his shoulder, and clicked the handcuffs into place around his wrists. He wanted to feel Levi struggle to stop him. This was meant to be a punishment, and it was going to be no fun if he just lay there like a doll the whole time.

Almost as soon as he was able, Levi was talking again.

“Stop, Eren, please. Listen to me.. I’m sorry. Don’t do this.”

“See, if you were  _ really _ sorry, you wouldn’t want me to stop.” Eren replied, smirking as he increased the pressure of his hand on Levi’s shoulder, pinning him to the counter as he fought to try and straighten up, squirming but hopelessly overpowered. “You’d be thanking me for the chance to earn my forgiveness.” Then he shrugged. “But nevermind. I remember you saying once that pain is the best teacher – let's test this out. I’m going to teach you what happens if you try to run from me.”

The demon leant forward slightly, Levi’s head tipping back as he inhaled sharply as he felt the point of the knife trace slowly from one end of his throat to the other, stinging in pain as Eren dug deep enough to leave a thin trail of blood in its wake.

“Make no mistake, I won’t ever let you go.” Eren’s voice suddenly being deathly calm was ten times worse than it was moments ago. “I don’t have any use for a disobedient pet, Levi, even one so valuable as you. And if I can’t have you, no one will. ‘Heaven’s Strongest’ belongs to me, and me alone.”

“I always have.” Levi replied, the words small and brittle, an effort to calm Eren’s territorial nature. 

“You have to work to get that back now though,  _ pet _ . I’m not so sure I can trust you.” Eren’s voice was silk and venom now, and Levi shuddered as he felt fingers trace down his bare back, the pale flesh a blank canvas that he knew it was only a matter of time before Eren started to paint it red. Only this time he was doing it with a blade instead of something less lethal. He just hadn’t yet imagined how bad it would get, closed eyes opening impossibly wide once more as he heard Eren’s next words and had no room to refuse, dread filling his body like ice water.

“Show me your wings, Levi.”

No. No.  _ No _ . 

He couldn't do it. He just couldn't. Fear ripped through him once again full force. Shaking his head against the counter. "Eren, please..."

"Do. It. Now." He knew if he didn't he'd be forced to and it would only make him feel ten times worse. Slowly and surely, dull white wings unfurled from his back, with such ease, careful slowness to avoid hitting or touching Eren in any way, hoping the slow display would help his cause. He felt hands run over them, flattening them against his back, the large span ending up allowing his wings to drape across and to brush the floor.

He felt the metal of the blade run over the feathers on the flat side and his eyes closed as a fresh dose of panic and terror went through him, mind flashing to his wing snapping all those moons ago under the force of demonic activity. He wanted to plead, beg, but he knew it wouldn't stop him at all, so it would be pointless. Levi's hands tugged at the handcuffs that were rather tight around his wrists, not loose to stop him hurting himself this time, the cool metal dragging along his skin as he waited for the pain to arrive. He just wanted this over with, wanted it to stop before it had even begun.

  
  


If Eren had to say that he had ever shared a single thought with his nephilim half completely, it was that Levi’s wings were the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. Although they had once been pure, almost pearly, they were now off-white, the colour almost that of a dead light bulb, verging on grey. Which was perhaps fitting, considering he was about to destroy them and watch them heal up. Levi wouldn’t be able to leave him if he had to spend tomorrow rapidly healing cuts.

Still wearing the same cold smirk that had overtaken him since he pinned Levi down, Eren skimmed the back of his fingers over Levi’s left wing before leaning to the side a little and yanking it back and open, stretching it out to see how the light filtered through the white feathers. Still breathtaking, especially as he left Levi’s body tense beneath him, heard him inhale again, the handcuffs clicking… but Eren had to admit to himself that he thought they would be even more breathtaking streaked with red.

“This is the one she broke.” he said softly, frowning at the white feathers. His anger wouldn’t allow him to stop now, but the smallest part of him almost didn’t want to do this. Almost. Unfortunately for Levi, almost wasn’t going to be enough. “Well, I suppose that’s just another memory I’ve changed for you, in the end.”

And then it was all Levi could do to bite back the resultant sounds of pain as Eren set to work with the knife in his hand. Thin lines of blood were soon trickling down the edges of Levi’s white feathers, tainting them almost beyond recognition, as he dug the knife in repeatedly, leaving thin lines along every major row of feathers and under the joints so that Levi could no longer move the wing at all without feeling almost crippling pain across the entirety of his left side.

“Now you’re getting it, pet.” he muttered cheerily as he dropped the wing and patted it hard, feeling Levi’s spine almost shoot straight and seeing his hands clenched into fists, his whole body tense and shaking with effort. “But we’re nowhere near done.”

By the time he’d finished giving the same slow treatment to his right wing, Levi was writhing, desperate, tears streaming down his face as he began pleading.

“E-Eren stop. I—”

Levi’s words were halted in their tracks by his own pained scream as Eren shook his head and moved the knife from his wing to his back instead, using his memories of what Isabel had done to him as a rough guide to know how much of Levi’s pain he was going to have to block out as he set about making cuts along each and every hyper-sensitive nerve that ran from his spine to his wings.

His pale back was a ruined criss-crossing network of red, bloodied lines when Eren finally dropped the knife and it felt to him like Levi was half delirious with the pain. Pain he could be trying to take away, if he so desired, but that he was letting Levi feel right along with his own slowly diminishing anger, along with his own emotional pain and frustration at being betrayed. He was making sure that Levi knew that all of this was his fault. If he’d just told Mikasa to leave, turned her down, Eren would never have had to do this – or at least not to the extent he was about to go.

The blood-covered blade clattered to a stop beside Levi’s head on the counter as he discounted it, inches from the nephilim’s face, and then Eren interlocked his fingers and twisted to the side, stretching his arms out, before coiling them in a firm grip around the base of Levi’s wings and pulled inward and straight up in one swift motion, leaning his weight back. 

The scream tore through his thoughts as he was pulled by his wings. He could feel the sticky tracks of blood against each and every feather the red had touched, against every precise line across the nerves go his wings. The only feeling in his world was pain. His whole mind moved around it as it thrummed under his skin. “Give me one good reason not to pull until they break. Do you love me, Levi? Really? Are you really sorry? Or are you going to leave me again?” He could sense almost instantly that the demon would follow through. There was no doubt in his mind that he'd just let him go. 

"B-Baby I won't leave. I... I pro.. promise. I am so  _ so sorry _ . Pl-Please don't do this. Please." His voice was shattered, the words cracked in places to accompany the choked sobs and tears.

The pain and defeat running through him was crippling, and his knees would definitely not keep him upright if his chest wasn’t against the counter to his hips as his body shook against the pain. His brain trying to not focus on it, trying not to think of the pain, but Eren wasn't letting him in the slightest as he felt the grip increase the tiniest bit, making another scream rip from his throat, Levi panting as it devolved into a whimper. "I love you. I do. Please E-Eren.. D-don't do this. Not my w-wings..." He honestly thought he could cope with anything breaking apart from his wings. The pain was already at a point where his vision was starting to fog around the edges as his eyes stared unfocused at the ceiling, his head tilted back as he felt Eren's lips against his ear.

“Alright, Levi, I’ll stop.” Eren’s smirk disappeared, replaced by a deceptively tender look as he dropped his harsh touch completely and hit the quick-release button on the front of the metal cuffs, setting them on the counter beside the knife with a clatter as Levi fell forward, gasping for breath and still woozy and choking over the pain. “As long as you don’t  _ ever _ make me do that to you again.”

He stepped back, putting his hands on Levi’s shoulders and focusing all his attention into the wounds on Levi’s back, lending the nephilim’s body his own energy to make him heal them at double the speed, the red lines scabbing and disappearing into unmarred pale flesh once more. He couldn’t do what he had planned next if Levi was in blinding pain every time he moved. Moderate pain would do – just enough to act as a physical reminder that Eren had to punish him to that extent, a physical reminder of what was waiting for him if he so much as thought of betraying him ever again.

Levi’s wings were left well and truly alone, Eren taking care never to touch them but not allowing him to hide them from his sight. The demon carefully turned him, bloodied hands wrapping carefully around his waist as he kissed a slow, gentle path up his neck to his lips. His expression and gesture, the emotion Levi could feel coming from him, all snapping back to apologetic with all the force of elastic, as if the worst was over and that all he wanted to do now was comfort him, his tongue tracing Levi’s bottom lip to seek entrance to his mouth in a bid to help him forget the residual pain in his wings by focusing entirely on the kiss and the comfort that he could find within it. In knowing that Eren had been reluctant to hurt him, in knowing that yet again his own actions were what had caused the demon’s anger. That him allowing Mikasa’s presence had caused this, and that as long as he dismissed her from now on Eren wouldn’t have to do anything so drastic again.

“But you might have to do a bit more.. convincing.”

He pulled back and moved, and Levi moved with him as if drawn by a magnet, stopped halfway across the room half by the pain in his wings stabbing at him, only slightly lessened as Eren shouldered some of it for him. The demon stopped in the doorway to their bedroom, leaning on the frame with expectant eyes as he watched Levi stop.

“Come here, Levi.”

He was still reeling from the slow kiss that had his knees going even weaker, when he’d frozen in the middle of the room, grey eyes on Eren as he leant in the doorway, finger pointing towards the floor as he took a step forward. “I didn’t say walk, did I, pet?”

His eyes had grown wide again, looking to the floor, then to Eren's feet, working his way back up as he didn't move. No way was he crawling, no matter what had happened and whatever claim Eren had over him he wasn't doing it. 

He might be wearing a collar, and Eren's favourite nickname was 'pet', but he was certainly no dog. "No. I'm not crawling Eren." He tried to take a step forward again, his body locking in place, the demon keeping him there as he tensed, trying to fight off the onslaught that would take his free will away from him and make him fall to his knees.

"You sure about that?"

"Totally... Yeah. I'm sure..."

Eren shrugged, not seeming moved one way or the other by Levi’s refusal to do it willingly. It didn’t have to be willingly, and perhaps it never would, he just wanted to see it happen. Even if he had to feel Levi fight him for control of his body every inch of the way, which he already could tell that he would have to.

The demon sighed happily as he watched Levi’s brow knit in concentration, trying to fight Eren’s hold over his body for all he was worth as he was forced to his knees. Forced to do the one thing he would  _ never _ do if he had the choice, as he crawled across the floor until he got to Eren, who kept stepping back and giving him more space to follow until the back of the demon’s knees met the bed and he sat back onto it.

Still not allowed up even when he caught up, Levi was forced to sit back on his heels between Eren’s open legs as the demon stared down at him, one hand brushing lovingly through his hair even as he watched the anger, the struggle to defy the contract’s hold, take place behind those grey eyes that he loved so much. Because Levi was perfectly aware of what he’d just done and perfectly aware that the demon had heard him refuse and forced him to do it anyway, like a puppet on a string, and it made him sick to his stomach. How much further would he go? How much more could he possibly take?

“There. Wasn’t so hard, was it?” 

It exhausted him no end to put up a fight against his every action. It felt strange to have to fight his own body as it flew into action to obey the commands it was being told. A tingling sensation erupted across the skin where the hand dragged slow and careful through the strands of his hair. “Now come up here and persuade me of that love of yours, pet.” Was he hearing this correctly? “Make me scream your name until it’s all I know.” No no no.. that was all his mind was telling his body as his hands made slow trails from Eren's calves to his thighs, never breaking eye contact. 

This was it. He was going to feel the point in which his mind couldn't take anymore. He was going to feel himself break under the pressure of knowing what was happening but having no part in it. Eren knew this wasn't what he wanted, but he was forcing him to do it anyway. He blinked slowly, as his body followed the slip of his hands up Eren's body, rolling sensually with every movement. His hands pushed against his chest lightly, making Eren scoot back further on to the bed. Then something strange happened. Levi froze, a frown slowly pulling on to his face as his gaze hardened and dropped the outstretched hand that had just pushed Eren backwards. His mind started to try and take back the power to move, to take back what was rightfully his, to shout out to make Eren stop. He heard a growl in his head and another pointed push that stopped all thought process and made him move forwards, on to his knees on the covers as he felt his mind shake and start to crumble. 

Levi slid onto Eren's legs, pulling himself closer so he sat on the others thighs, the demon pulling him the rest of the way by a firm grip taking hold of his ass. His arms circled around his neck, in a steel grip that clearly wasn't loving. "I said  _ love, _ pet, not dominance." His grip instantly became lax, fingers idly pulling gently at the end of Eren's hair as his eyes looked down to his. Grey eyes slid away from the lust and carnal desire he found there in the golden colour, to slightly parted red lips. 

He couldn't do this with this screaming inside his head. He didn't want any of this to happen, not like this, not while the show of love he'd displayed to this creature was still fresh in his mind. His brain seemed to go with the thoughts as he pressed his lips carefully to Eren's, and started a slow kiss which he deepened a few seconds after it began. 

He couldn't not listen to his screaming, trying to convey he didn't want this, for Eren to stop, but he was being ignored. He shouted even more as pain moved through him as he curled his wings around himself, and ultimately Eren's sides, his wings refusing completely to go all the way round to encase the demon as well, dull white clearly not wanting to touch the pitch black of the ones so close to him. He knew he wouldn't have that ounce of control for long, though. He could feel fresh blood trickle across the tracks they had already left on his wigs as he opened a few of the lines by moving, but his body didn't care. His body wanted to obey Eren like he was a god in human form. 

Levi's hands pulled towards him, on to Eren's jaw as his hips rolled once, hands sliding further and pushing back against his shoulders. Levi followed the movement so their lips stayed together, his eyes closed as they became horizontal on the sheets. His continued defiance started to make his actions falter, hands stilling to rest against Eren's chest to keep him upright. Their kiss stopped briefly, their lips still together before his brain shut off and gave in, finally coming to the realisation that there was no way to fight this, he just wasn't strong enough anymore. 

Fear began to ebb away and be replaced by the love he was supposed to be displaying, to make his actions, which started up again as he pressed his body flush against Eren's. The fear didn't vanish completely though, it was still there, still screaming away inside of him wanting this whole night to end. 

Fingers started to undo the shirt, soon pushing it off Eren's shoulders so it was under him, his mouth making his way down slowly, leaving a mark here and there, teasing them out of the tan skin that was his right in that moment. Lips latched onto his right nipple, sucking and pulling gently as his fingers worked their way into undoing the trousers around the others legs. He was being so careful with each action, bringing back thoughts of the night they shared on Valentines. The back of his mind was wishing beyond reason that he was allowed to stop, because even though he loved this creature below him, he knew he definitely shouldn't, now. But you couldn't chase away such feelings. 

Fingers pressed and prodded at the spots he knew would send the others eyes rolling, and as he pressed against one near his hip after he'd worked the jeans off his body, and sucked at one just underneath his ribcage, he finally heard what the obeying part of him had been waiting for. 

"Oh god, Levi." The moan went through his body, hands now gripping the tops of his arms as he moved back up his body, their lips crashing together as Eren's hands slid down, working his own jeans off quickly, Levi helping to get them off by shimmying them down his legs. Both sets of underwear were next, and Levi took full advantage of that fact and ground down with his hips, the action sending his eyes rolling, let alone the broken moan he got from the demon below him as his lips worked up his jaw towards his ear. 

Another roll of his hips and he felt the demon below him buck upwards as they rubbed together slowly, a smirk on his face as his lips pressed just behind his left ear, nipping and sucking a mark into existence as he felt hands move up towards his wings. His body tensed at the thought of his wigs being touched given what condition they were in, as he'd been trying his hardest not to move them to save himself the pain.

As his actions were returned to him, the emotions running through still ones that had been forced to flood his system, he came to a stop, hovering over the taller man and looking down as his eyes got caught within a golden hold. His breathing started to even out as they stared between each other, Eren doing the same. "How about now?" Eren's voice was quiet, voice lust ridden and breathy. "Would you still do this?"

He swallowed thickly, lips parting afterwards. He tried to push the emotions down that had been forced on to him, dragging his own back to the surface as best he could. Tears began to cling to his lashes, knowing full well he didn't want this. That he couldn't do this in the slightest. "Eren..."

"Be honest." He hesitated as he licked his lips. 

"...No." He didn't want to lie anymore, he couldn't, he knew what that would bring and he didn't want a repeat of tonight in the slightest. Fear started to kick back into his brain, starting to show in his eyes as he looked down, breathing in deep as he waited for the response he knew wouldn't be good.

"Thank you, for being honest with me this time." he replied, smiling as one hand trailed up over Levi's shoulder and brushed his cheek carefully, almost as if for that one moment in time Levi was as fragile as glass and he was scared to shatter him if his grip increased any more than that.

This time his refusal was more or less exactly what the demon wanted to hear, the word making up his mind that this was what he needed to do in order to make this the last time he actually had to do anything of this level. After this, he wouldn't have to hurt Levi anymore. Not unless he really wanted to, not unless Levi gave him a damn good reason to. After this he could almost take them back to the life they'd originally had, because it had already been proven that they could make each other happy no matter which side of him was walking free. He didn't care what he had to hunt, other demons or not, as long as it would be with Levi by his side. Until their run of luck ended and they both died, hopefully together. And then they wouldn't have to be Nephilim anymore. They could go back to being human, back to living some other life where they would encounter each other again and whatever happened would happen.

"Please let me stop, Eren. I don't want to do this. Not like this."

Eren sighed, kissing Levi once before slowly pulling back and meeting his eyes again, never dropping his gaze. He wanted to see this happen. He wanted to see him snap.

"No."

His lips tingled from the kiss before the denied request. His face fell, his whole body tensed. He felt his body start to move, his lips pressing against Eren's with a new sense of urgency, not being able to stop the action or stop his hands from sliding down the man's chest to his waist. He was quickly taking hold of his hips and pressing his crotch firmly downwards, a whimper getting lost within the kiss that had deepened almost the second it happened, his eyes closed, mind trying not to think, trying not to think that his lack of consent didn't matter in the slightest, but he could still feel the tears against his lashes. A tear ran down his cheek as he pulled Eren up into a sitting position, his wings jerking in a movement that clearly said they didn't want to move, curling round and brushing against the black feathers behind the demon who had his arms around him.

He felt his body regain control of itself, stumbling slightly and gripping Eren’s shoulders tighter as he steadied himself, his eyes blinking rapidly as he focused in on the gold before him. But, they weren’t gold anymore. His inner fear became higher, his heart rate quickening, not wanting this even more than before. Forcing his eyes to look at the sea green he missed so dearly and making him do this? That was one step too far and it pushed him over the edge. Eren moved away from him, it confused him slightly but he was waiting for the time in which his body was overtaken again and he was forced to close the gap. 

"Levi?! Where am I.. what.. what's going on?" Grey eyes looked to the covers they were sat on, Levi having fell sideways slightly, pulling his legs so that he was covering himself sufficiently, despite knowing that the demon was going to want to see all of him.

“Please don’t do this… I can’t… I’ll be willing, just.. not this…”

“What are you talking about?”

“I can’t take  _ that _ .” He refused to look at him, his eyes shut, tears leaking from them as he scrunched them closed. He felt the bed shift and he tensed, his wings twitching to move around him, to shield him from the body that moved along the bed, but knowing if he did that he’d get punished even more than he already had. Pain had already shot through both feathered limbs, he didn’t want any more adding to them. He felt hands touch his face.

“Levi, look at me.” He obeyed instantly flinching at the worry, the sheer amount of emotion he could hear in just four simple words. His eyes glistened, wet from the tears that were running down his face as he looked into a deceiving green that made his heart clench. His panic rose with Eren so close, his hands gripping the sheets at the sides of his hips, planning to defy and protest until he wasn’t looking upon someone he’d lost anymore. 

“No. Please.. Please just stop. Don’t make me see that again, not when he’s not here. Don’t hurt me like this. Just… I’d rather you kill me, I don’t care.. I know I don’t.. don’t deserve to live, not after everything I did to him. Just kill me, please. Please.. just stop using him against me..”

"I.. I don't understand.. I was writing you a letter.. and then.. I don't.. I.." He tried not to listen to the tone of voice the demon was using, trying to block it out as he was still made to look into the sea green eyes given Eren’s hands still on his face.

“No.” His voice became stern, though faltered over his next words. “You don’t have to pretend to be him. Please don’t do that.” He looked away, turning his head and feeling Eren’s hands drop from his skin, swallowing thickly as his eyes closed, head angled towards the bed. “Just.. Get this over with.. so I don’t have to look at him anymore.” His voice was weak, soft, a clear obedience underlying it as tears fell from his eyes and his nked form shook ever so slightly. The wait and the buildup killing him more than the demon taking him while he was masquerading as Eren. 

The green eyes doing it was far worse than gold, and he truly felt like he was being punished now as he sat there, broken and beaten and not willing to fight any longer. He just wanted it to be over. He didn’t know why he’d been given his body back and he wasn’t paying enough attention to figure out that he was feeling something different than what the demon had been feeling, focused entirely on not hearing the tone of voice, the inflections, the feel that is just felt so akin to the Nephilim he’d lost all that time ago.

"Oh god.. it was me.. all this time, it was me.." He felt the emotions hit him like a wave and it made him open his eyes as Eren moved away, scooting back and off the bed. He was half dressed within seconds, falling back against the wall and sliding down it. He looked on, blinking slowly as he watched, as he  _ felt _ the despair and anguish hitting him like a train. He reached out quickly and grabbed his underwear, pulling them on and moving towards the edge of the bed, eyes fixed on Eren completely, not moving away in the slightest as he looked on, a different kind of pain filling his body as he listened to what he was feeling, hearing,  _ seeing _ . If this was the demon… he’d succeeded in making him think it was the Nephilim…

_ “Eren…?” _ His voice was strained, disbelief and pain mingling together as he gripped the edge of the bed, eyes staring helplessly towards the curled up ball of a male against the wall.

The sound of his name made Eren raise his head from where it was nestled in his knees, the green eyes flooded with tears that he made no attempt to stop or hide. He didn't understand any of this at all. 

"Levi.. I did this to you, didn't I? I'm so sorry. God that hurts.. something.. coming.." Their eyes met again, and he pushed from the bed, moving to stand shakily. "I don't want to.. black out.. not again..”

“Eren..” He moved as quick as his legs, and the pain that flooded his system, allowed him to and he knelt before the other, seeing him flinch and almost ignoring it. “Eren, stay with me.  _ Please _ .” His hands slid on to Eren’s jaw carefully, angling his head to look more clearly into his eyes. He could feel the pain as phantom feelings. He could feel the act of the demon coming back, knowing his will was about to fade. He could feel the connection flicker, could feel it get pulled and it made his breath hitch. His left hand and arm tingles, but he ignored it. “Dear  _ god, _ please. Fight him. None of this was you. It wasn’t… It was him. Just fight it. If you don’t…” He looked between Eren’s eyes, a teary pleading gaze fixed with Eren’s, wanting nothing more than the demon not coming back.

This was really him. It was really the Nephilim looking back to him and his mind couldn’t take the fact he’d caught this glimpse, and he was going to be taken away from him again.  _ Again _ . He wished beyond reason that he could do something,  _ anything _ to stop the demon resurfacing. He tried his damndest to push the connection made by the contract away, to try and keep Eren here with him for as long as possible, but he just didn’t know how.

Clearly he was doing something right, as Eren latched on to what felt like his very soul, Levi’s will was what enabled Eren to stay conscious long enough for his breathing to even out. Long enough for him to move his head slightly to nuzzle at the hands holding it to make sure that his eyes remained locked to the familiar, desperate grey that he loved so much.

"I'll fight." The word was a vow, powerful even though it was faint and his next sentence came out broken. "I said it.. didn't I.. in the letter. Said I'd fight with everything I have.. to come back to you."

_ "I read it." _ Levi's words were hushed, hurried. He could feel the demon coming back and wasn't sure how much time either of them had left, even though he could feel the nephilim struggling against the pain threatening to force him out just as much. "Don't you quit on me now, brat. That's an order."

"I won't. Love you, Levi. Don't forget."

_ "Eren, I-" _

Whatever he had been about to say was swallowed up as the connection slammed back into his psyche full force, robbing him of the ability to speak once more. And that was it, the nephilim giving another hiss of pain as his head slammed back against the wall, green eyes screwing shut as the round pupils stretched into slits and gold blossomed out from the centre, the demon breathing hard as he felt the nephilim slip unconscious again. If he had anything to do with it, the annoyance would never see the light of day again. Perhaps he might have to actually take Petra up on her offer now she was no threat, see if Ilse couldn't do something about getting the nephilim half removed before it started to wake up again. It would mean the loss of his wings.. but it might be an option he had to take.

"That little shit got the drop on me.." the demon muttered, smirking despite himself as he looked back down at Levi, seeing the loss of hope that flickered across his expression as he felt him resume his struggle to retain control of his body. "Sleep."

The word was accompanied by Eren holding open his arms to catch Levi's unconscious body on the way down as he fell forwards, already lost to the waking world and breathing peacefully. A slow smile crossed the demon's face as he pushed off the wall and stood up, depositing Levi on the bed and getting him into a more full state of dress before tucking the covers around him and heading into the living space to pace across the wood floor. He had to think about this. 


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Filler :)

“Why didn’t you call me earlier, Jean?” Mikasa’s eyes were tired but no less threatening as she rested back against the counter. The four of them had been putting this off for over a week now, mostly because Mikasa was still getting her head around the loss of Annie for the second time in her life. At least this time their confrontation had been nothing like Stohess was.  
  
“Because I wasn’t going to call you if I wasn’t sure,” Jean replied, brow furrowing as he glanced over at Marco and then Armin. “Do you have any idea how much I wanted this not to be happening?! _Fuck...”_ _  
_   
“I didn’t either, Jean.” Armin replied quietly, icy coldness clamping down on the thought of Eren’s smile. A look he might not see again, because although he hadn’t noticed at the time he couldn’t ignore what he _knew_ he’d felt. Hindsight was, as they say, twenty twenty. “But we’re putting Lance Corporal Levi in danger the longer we go without acting. I know what I felt. Whatever is wrong with Eren, it’s demonic in origin and that means he only has a limited time left.”   
  
“I just don’t understand how this could have happened to him. You all know him better than I do,” Marco chipped in, shifting in his seat. “but he was never on his own. If he’d been possessed somehow, we’d have noticed _something_ by now, surely.”   
“He isn’t possessed. He can’t be. If Nephilim were possession risks we’d be useless at fighting demons in the first place.” Mikasa replied firmly. “And if he were, the Lance Corporal would have dealt with it by now.” She sighed, head going into her hands. “Besides, both Jean and Armin saw something wrong with his eyes. Only full-bloods have different eye colours than they used to. Happens when their souls darken during the first trip to Hell.”   
  
Armin nodded, turning away from the cityscape outside. The thought of gold flashing where there should only ever have been that familiar sea-green set him on edge. He refused to lose Eren _again_. Not to this or _anything_ .   
“So let’s say he’s somehow become a full-blooded demon like Mikasa is suggesting. What’s his goal?”   
  
“You really have to ask?” Jean got to his feet, pacing in front of the TV as he ran his hand across the back of his neck and let out a mirthless chuckle. “It’s Levi. He wants to break him. I think he already has.” The thought of the marks on Levi’s back still made him sick because of how wholly unlike either of them it was for them to be there, and that had been weeks ago. God only knew how much worse it had got since then. “His back… If I‘d not patched him up they’d have become infected for sure. I probably didn’t help matters though…”   
“You couldn't have known, Jean.” Mikasa beat Marco to the words, lifting her head up to look at the other pacing.   
“She’s right. You can’t beat yourself up over that.”   
  
They all knew what it meant for Eren if it had been Levi to become full blooded as they were suggesting. Mikasa especially, having seen it time and time again. When someone became a demon and essentially lost all the humanity left in their soul, their worst personality traits were dragged out and magnified until they consumed everything else. Everything good in a person became twisted into everything that was worst about them. Eren’s loyalty and attentiveness had become a need for total control and possession, and she already knew that his determination would equate to nothing short of complete ruthlessness. He had no conscience, and therefore no limits.   
Eren’s conscience, or more specifically his _guilt_ was the only thing that had ever held him back.   
“Then it’s a good job this has happened to Eren and not Corporal Shortstack.” she mused aloud, ignored Armin’s horrified expression and Jean’s derisive snort. “If Eren gets what he wants it’s only a matter of time before he gets bored, and we all know what happens then.”   
“Eren wouldn’t kill him.” Marco was rapidly mirroring Armin’s horror for entirely different reasons, disbelief ruling his expression. “Besides, wouldn’t he fight back?”   
_“Our_ Eren wouldn’t, no. But that’s not our Eren, trust me, I’ve been here before. It’s just something that looks like him.” Mikasa sighed, pushing off from the counter to take up Jean’s spot on the sofa as the two-toned blond continued to pace around, too full of restless energy to stop. “But Eren, we can corner and subdue before this goes any further if we have to. He’s not as strong as he thinks he is.” she bit her lip. “If you want to think about the worst possible scenarios, think about trying to take down a demonic Lance Corporal Levi.”   
  
Armin’s throat went dry at the thought as he met Jean’s eyes and found them guarded but round with alarm.   
“If it had been Levi we wouldn’t even be having this conversation,” Jean muttered dryly. “Eren would already be dead.”   
He hated to agree, but Jean was right. Eren would never have fought back. He would have let Levi break him in a matter of weeks. It might not even have taken that long. He knew that because it was more or less what would have happened to him if Eren had chosen his target differently. He never had been able to say no to Eren and the thought of actively hurting him was abhorrent, even right now, when he knew he might have to.   
  
“So what do we do? Report this to Hanji and the Commander?” Mikasa shook her head. It was a fair suggestion and protocol-wise it was probably what they were supposed to do, but she didn’t think it would help. Eren sounded volatile enough, and getting Erwin involved would only make things worse.   
“No, that's no good." she was surprised to find that it was Jean who beat her into saying it. “Hanji, perhaps. But Eren’s always been suspicious of Erwin’s intentions, and if he’s getting anxious over the thought of _me_ touching Levi, he’s going to be brutal if Erwin gets anywhere near them.”   
  
“The only way to get around this is to get him to leave Eren and come to HQ where whatever’s in him can’t get to him anymore,” Armin said, sighing as he turned his mind towards actually solving their problem. “Either that or we’re going to have to split them up on a hunt and that could get very messy. They haven’t even gone on many since Eren moved back in and now we know why. Lance Corporal Levi is in no fit state.”   
  
“I already tried to get him to leave today when you got Eren out of there this morning.” Mikasa interrupted. “And given that we’re having this discussion you know how well that went.”   
“What happened?” The tension was easily visible across Jean’s shoulders as he came to a stop, clearly annoyed that he hadn’t been there himself to drag him out.   
“Eren interrupted us before I could persuade him to leave. One more night isn’t going to kill him, Jean. He’s stronger than that.”   
“You’re telling me that you just _left him there?!”_ Jean hissed, his expression just short of complete betrayal. “When Eren saw you trying to get him to leave?! He doesn’t _have_ to kill him to do the kind of damage we can’t fix, Mikasa, why the fuck would you walk out on him like that?!”   
  
“Because we can _heal_ trauma, Jean. A few years of rehab is nothing in the long term as long as he doesn’t die.” she snapped, hugging her arms across her chest and turning away. Annie would have understood… but Annie was no longer here. “If I’d tried to fight him neither of us might have got out alive. Levi doesn’t dare fight back and he knows all my tricks. Who do you think taught him to fight?”   
  
“I wasn’t talking about just Levi. If Eren goes too far tonight what do you think he’s going to do when he wakes up and realises everything he’s caused?!” Jean swallowed hard and looked away, not wanting to shout anymore. They were getting nowhere like this. “If he remembers what he’s done… I can’t watch him break again. Not after the way he was in that fucking warehouse after that Legion bitch fucked with his head.”   
  
“ _If_ he wakes up,” Armin muttered, expression dark. “We might never get him out of there.”   
“We will.” Although Marco sounded positive, none of them could ignore the hesitance in his voice. Like he didn’t really believe it either. “We just have to trust that Hanji can get whatever’s taken him over back out.”   
Mikasa nodded, clinging to the thought as she watched the brunet cross the room to hug Jean in an effort to calm him down.   
“Speaking of Hanji, I have an idea…”

* * *

“You really think it's that bad?”  
“What part of full-blooded don’t you understand?” 

Jean had chosen to come to Hanji on his own, leaving Marco and Armin to try and keep Mikasa calm. Probably a fruitless effect, but at least he wasn’t just pacing about adding to the anxiety if he were here. It just meant that he had to convince Hanji, who was currently sitting behind her desk shaking her head.

“We’ve not heard of cases like this… ever. Sure the undercover guys have seen a few demon turn and such but Nephilims just… it doesn't happen, Jean.”  
“How long ago did you say that to Levi?” Hanji stopped writing there and looked up, rather surprised. “That right there… That's what pushed it to this. We all didn’t want to believe it, and every time he spoke out, we ignored him.”

“He has been worrying me and Erwin lately. We were round for food and he was the first to pass out, didn’t even stir when Erinw picked him up and took him to bed.”

“Fell asleep on me too.”   
“Really?” Hanji raised her eyebrows there, it was rather unlike Levi to get close to anyone that way. It took him years to do that to her, and Levi and Jean weren’t exactly that close.   
“Really.” Hanji leant back in her chair, looking at the phone on her desk, reaching to pick it up after a few moments. “Who you ringing?” 

“Erwin, we’ll get them both here-.”  
“Oh hell no.” Jean was quick to reach over and press the receiver to hang up the phone, Hanji frowning. “You aren't calling him. He gets no part in this till they are here and separated.”   
“Why?”   
“Because…” Jean sat back heavily in the chair, a sigh leaving him as he pulled a hand down his face. “Eren got so annoyed when I helped Levi out a few weeks ago, whenever Erwin is mentioned… Eren gets so protective and angry.”

“That's not like Eren.”   
“Who have I been talking to since I got here?” Hanji rolled her eyes.

“Fine, you clearly have a plan, so what do you have in mind?”   
“Well… we are gonna need some people.” 


	24. Chapter 24

His dreams had been plagued with images of the past couple of months, of Eren’s face, of him playing guitar; of them sitting together in the coffee shop. He hadn’t been able to avoid it and he woke with a start as gold infiltrated his dreams, causing them to start to become nightmares. He breathed heavily, the room light as the morning sun filtered through the curtains that covered the balcony door. He brought a hand to his chest, feeling a tank top over his torso. He looked down, seeing the covers over his legs, but definitely had pyjama pants on. He looked next to him, seeing the sleeping form of what he could only say was the demonic version of the Nephilim he’d seen ever so briefly back in the driving seat before he’d passed out the night before. 

Sometime during the night, his wings had vanished,  but man did they  _ ache _ . Grey eyes looked to the door, as he padded lightly barefooted all the way to the kitchen and grabbed a glass from the draining board and filled it with water. Eren’s panicked face was plaguing his mind and he could barely remember what happened after the demon had taken over again, had pushed back to the surface. All he could remember was blackness, of dreaming until his mind was plagued by images he didn’t want.

Banging on the front door pulled him from his confused thoughts as he looked towards it, placing his glass down as he did so on to the counter by the sink. He began to move back towards the bedroom, feeling his action stutter. He shook his head to clear the numbness that had crept in but was soon standing still, face towards the front door, eyes glassy and unfocused as his body relaxed, Eren standing at the door to the bedroom with golden eyes following Levi’s gaze.

“Let them in, Levi,” Eren ordered, casually reaching around the back of the bedroom door to throw on a faded blue hoodie to cover his arms as he flicked the lock on the glass doors leading out onto the balcony from the living room before settling cross-legged into the centre of the sofa, setting the gun down on the coffee table and watching as Levi moved to the front door in silence and opened it to find Mikasa following Levi into the room, dark eyes and tense expression showing him that she was already here for a fight.  
  
“I came back as soon as I could, sir. Are you hurt?”  
“No more than I deserved for trying to leave Eren behind.” The words were forced, what the demon wanted to hear rather than what he truly felt but Mikasa seemed not to pick up on that as her face twisted in disgust and horror at the sight of him like this.

Eren held out a hand and Levi came straight back to him, curling up on the sofa with his head on his lap, the demon’s fingers soon running through his hair in a calming manner.

“I know there’s someone else here, Mikasa. You might as well tell whoever it is to join us,” he said, cutting her off as she opened her mouth to speak. “I want you both to see this because I’m only going to show you once.”

She bit her lip and then nodded, fingers twitching with the instinct to go for her own weapons because she didn’t trust whatever was inhabiting her brother one bit.

“Come out, Jean.”

The words were followed by thirty seconds of nothing and then Jean appeared through the glass doors, striding around the sofa and almost to Mikasa’s side before he was brought to a halt at the sight of Levi, shock and anger ruling his features whereas hers had the practised blankness that she always had when in this kind of danger.

“You’re here for Levi, am I right?” Eren asked, still smirking. The Nephilim on his lap hadn’t reacted to their presence at all because he was keeping all awareness of them from him. He couldn’t see them, couldn’t hear them – as far as he was concerned, Eren was the only person in the room and they were just sitting there in silence. “I don’t think he wants to go with you.”

"He's coming with us whether you both like it or not." Jean moved again, his eyes fixed on the barely-there expression on his superior's face, clearly not seeing him as he walked past to stand nearer to Mikasa. "What have you done to him...?" Levi's hands were hidden, curled around himself and tucked under his arms, the Nephilim's glassy eyes sliding shut as he adjusted his position, right hand pulling out from holding his hip to slide on to Eren's knee by his head, a small smile on his lips as he did so.

Eren shrugged, his eyes fixing on Jean for a moment. It was all the more opportune for him that Mikasa had been foolish enough to bring him this time, because while Mikasa could play the role of being unaffected, he knew he could wind Jean up with very little effort, knew it would take very little to scare him, to hurt him so much that he backed off again and think twice next time.

“Technically I’ve only done what he asked for.” The demon replied, glancing down at Levi with dark amusement flashing in the gold eyes he was no longer making any attempt to hide from the other two. “I should thank Erwin the next time I see him, really because if it weren’t for him threatening to split us up so quickly after Petra trying to get him to leave, I’d never have been able to do any of this.”

“What he asked.. for..” Mikasa’s voice was faint for a few moments as understanding dawned between the demon’s words and Levi not responding to them. Because she’d only ever seen this kind of thing once before – but she refused the possibility because the Lance Corporal she knew would never even consider doing what this required. “No. Levi wouldn’t. It wouldn’t even cross his mind.”

“Levi wouldn’t  _ what _ , Mikasa?” Jean hissed, turning to glance at her.

Eren chuckled as she paused, swallowed, her mouth opening and then shutting again as she tried to get her head around how this could have happened as she stared at the golden, slitted eyes which looked so  _ wrong _ in her brother’s familiar face.

“His hand, Jean. Look at his hand. You know what those red markings mean.”

The demon paused, then curling his hand around Levi’s left and pulling it into view, their fingers entwined and the red line of markings around the Nephilim’s finger clearly visible, Eren’s left held up so that they could see it clearly, too.

“See, we match.” He smirked, squeezing Levi’s hand before resting it back on his side, the hand-winding through his hair affectionately not letting up for an instant. He was more on edge than he was letting show, but he didn’t want to give Levi any reason to worry. Or to start fighting back, because last night he’d certainly given the demon a run for his money. “He didn’t know that he’d lose his free will to me when he contracted. He was just so desperate to stay together.”  
“How could he not know?” Jean’s frustration was starting to show, the Nephilim almost unable to look at Levi lying there when he knew it was partially his fault because he’d stayed away until Mikasa got back.  
“Because why would he do all that boring in-depth research before when he could be doing something more useful? When he could just ask Hanji, or depend on his brat to do it for him?” Eren replied, grinning. “It was always me doing that before, always preparing for every eventuality so that he had what he needed. So he trusted me to tell him everything.. and I didn’t. I told him what he wanted to hear.”

The two of them remained silent, expressions equally murderous but remaining still, because as much as Jean just wanted to close the distance and give the demon he was convinced was using one of his best friends as a meat-shield a sound punch to the face, he had agreed to follow Mikasa’s lead on this and she hadn’t moved yet.

“I’m fine hunting demons with you, hunting for Erwin, as long as you leave us alone. I don’t care how many of them I have to kill to stay by his side.” Eren continued. “But if you push us it’s not going to be me you hurt.. because I can make him do anything I want. Look.”

Mikasa did take a step forward then as the demon scooped the gun up, tapping Levi on the shoulder. He moved slowly, eyes unfocused as he heard the mental command, his mind prodded to say that it didn’t make sense, that he didn’t understand, and all he received was  _ ‘Humor me, pet.’ _ So he did. He took the gun carefully and without hesitation by the grip and brought it close to his stomach. He racked the slide and held the muzzle to his head, pressed against his hair at his temple. He didn’t register his head being turned towards Jean, eyes still glassy as he did as he was told.

“You wouldn’t want to hurt him.” Jean had taken a step forward to mimic Mikasa’s, both sets of eyes on Levi.   
“Levi.” His fingers cocked the gun expertly, arming it visibly, Jean’s fists clenching. “If I can’t have him, no one can.”   
“How could you do this?!” Jean was clearly furious as his eyes looked into Levi’s unfocused grey, the glassy quality doing nothing to help.   
“Quite easily actually. He did put up  _ some  _ fight though. Do you want to talk to him?” Neither responded, and Eren just looked to the Nephilim and slowly but surely, awareness came back to him. 

He couldn’t move, Levi couldn’t even move his head, but he blinked his eyes furiously as he tried to make sense of what his eyes were seeing and what his body was telling him. Jean’s face came into focus, Mikasa stood with him. Oh no… She’d come back…

His eyes went to Jean’s, who clearly saw the change instantly, “Jean…?”  
“Sir, it’s fine, really.”  
“What’s…” He felt his hand hold the leather grip tighter and it took a moment to realize that Eren’s gun was in his hand.  _ To his head _ . Panic flooded through him, his breathing quickening as his eyes looked helplessly to Jean. “Oh god.”   
“Put the gun down, Levi.”  
“I… I can’t…” Levi looked to Eren, who was watching him with a small smile, “I can’t move…” his eyes locked with the golden gaze feeling another nudge at his mind. “No... please don’t…”  
“You can’t stop me.” He swallowed thickly, wanting to shake his head, to not do what the command was telling him to. He had his mind back, therefore he was putting up as much fight as he possibly could, tears starting to gather at the corner of his eyes. “Do it.” He looked back to Jean, his eyes slowly becoming glassy as he fought. His wings were the colour of his eyes now as they shimmered into existence behind him, stretching out, but thankfully not feeling any of the pain as the wounds reopened yet again as they flexed, blood trickling slowly from a couple of the lines, his feathers already looking bloody enough. “I can make him do  _ anything _ .” Eren stood, moving to stand behind Levi, who moved to accommodate, sitting facing the two Nephilim in the apartment. He was sitting on the edge of the sofa, his back against Eren’s middle. “Lower the gun,  _ pet _ , you’ve made my point nicely.” He did as asked, lowering the gun to his lap and disarming it, but not putting the safety on as he continued to stare towards Jean, looking through him, no longer aware of his surroundings. 

The name had clearly riled Jean up further, Mikasa stopping him from taking more steps to close the gap. She clearly knew that if he was going to use Levi as a pawn, he would have no qualms using him as a personal meat shield, sending him in first to incapacitate them. And he’d be able to, it wouldn’t take much. He gained his rank and title for a reason.

Mikasa kept her hand on Jean’s arm even as she watched Eren lean over and kiss Levi’s cheek, whispering what was no doubt a completely insincere apology to the captive Nephilim as his hands looped around the top of his shoulders and across his front. Almost instantly after he turned his head to admire the bloodied-up, once white wings, the sight clearly horrifying the other two but entirely endearing to him. This was just another side of Levi that they didn’t appreciate, but he did.

“Let him go, Eren.” Mikasa tried again, ignoring Jean trying to yank his arm from her grasp. “This isn’t love. You’re destroying him.”

“Maybe one day.” The demon replied, shrugging slightly. “But not for a long time yet. So in order to diffuse the awfully messy situation that we find ourselves in, how about you do a deal with the devil?” He asked, grinning as he saw and felt Levi close his eyes and shift backwards to be closer to him, drinking in the physical contact as one of Eren’s hands moved to gently stroke over the back of his right-wing, smoothing down the feathers with a careful touch. "Although I'll admit it didn't help my poor little pet much.."

"Stop calling him that." Mikasa could do nothing to stop Jean struggling to move forward again, wanting to smack the smirk right off the demon's face as he was unable to deal with watching Levi unable to fight the control over him even when he was conscious enough to try. "He's not your fucking toy and you don't get to hide behind Eren's face for months and then just threaten to kill him like that."

Jean snorted, yanking his arm from Mikasa’s reach.

“And anyway, why would we?!” he hissed. “We’re not here to make deals with you, whatever the fuck you are. We’re here to get them both back.”

Eren glared for a moment in response. 

“Never did learn to shut your mouth, Jean,” the demon hissed back, smirk completely dropping for a few seconds before he was able to calm the flaring up of his anger again in order to replace it as though it had never been away. “Need I remind you that he tried to warn you and every single person he spoke to turned him away? Told him he was being paranoid?  _ You _ drove him straight back to me." Jean's expression twisted with guilt, his throat closing up as he realised he had no response to that. Because it was true - he could have actively done more to help. He could have gone straight to Hanji instead of waiting for Mikasa. But he didn't. He convinced himself it was better to wait, and it had clearly been a mistake just from the sight Levi's wings alone. The thought of what the demon must have done to him to paint them with blood like that made him sick. "How about you never come here again, I don’t hurt Levi anymore since I no longer need to, and we all hunt demons till we drop dead.”

No response came, Mikasa’s face still at its same practised blankness aside from her biting her lip in worry and Jean’s expression of derisive anger remaining unchanged.

“No? Fine.” Eren sighed, tilting Levi’s eyes to his own and giving him another kiss, the contact surprisingly affectionate given the peril they were in. 

The next thing Levi knew was the demon's words after a sweet kiss to his lips, his eyes blinking open, still glassy and unfocused, but entirely focused on the gold that he was almost looking up into. “Levi, they’ve come to split us up. You won’t let them, will you?”  
  


Split them up?  _ Again? _ Why were people  _ doing this _ ? Why did they want to break them apart when they’d made it quite clear that was  _ never _ going to ever be an option?! 

Levi was slow to stand, gun hanging loosely from his right hand, anger coiling under his muscles as his eyes looked to Jean, allowing himself to step forwards and saw the blonde take a step backwards to accommodate Levi’s advance. “Levi… Don’t do this.” He advanced still, and Eren’s voice in his head got louder, telling him to get on with it. His feet moved quicker, gun holstering in the back of his sweat pants and underwear, Jean blocking his first punch. “Levi god damn it  _ stop!”  _ He didn’t,  _ couldn’t _ , not relenting as he pushed forwards, pushing Jean back towards the balcony. He took the offensive completely, forcing Jean to go on defence as they fought practically on the spot, making sure they didn’t venture around the room. 

“You’re not taking me away from him.”   
“Levi, listen to yourself.”   
“You’re not  _ ruining this _ .” His hands clenched into fists as he kicked at Jean’s legs, the other knew his fighting style, he’d hunted with him briefly and looked upon the way he fought, but that knowledge would only last so long. Levi was purely instinct now since that’s all Eren was allowing him to have. He wasn’t bad at hand to hand combat while fully aware, and his lack of thinking just amplified that, squaring a few solid hits until Jean got the better of him. Or so he thought. He fell backwards as Jean pushed surprisingly on to the offensive, wings beating against the attack to make them fall slower, hitting various furniture and appliances, crashing happening around them as Jean pinned him to the floor. Going for his wrists to pin them above his head. An instant later they were flipped, his wings covering them and his hand darted behind him and grabbing the gun from behind him. The muzzle was soon pressed harshly to Jean's neck, angling up so the shot would fire diagonally through his head. Levi wasn’t having it, none of it. No way in hell was this Nephilim going to pin him down. That right wasn’t his. They were both panting hard, Jean out of fatigue as his eyes searched Levi’s unfocused gaze and Levi from fighting from within. “Levi, please. Fight this. You can fight it.” His voice was quiet, hushed, knowing he couldn’t be seen thanks to Levi’s wings shielding him from view, in an almost protective way. “This  _ isn’t _ you.  _ Fight it _ for  _ fucks sake. _ ” He flinched, feeling Eren through the connection getting angrier.

The gun relaxed slightly in his hand, still pressed against the underside of Jean’s head, but his hold loosened, though his other hand still pinned him down via his chest. He was straddling the others waist, knees against the man’s hips as hands moved to hold the outside of his thighs gently. “Fight it for just a little while longer.”  
“J-Jean…” It was clear he was trying his damnedest to get through as Jean’s name passed his lips in a broken sound.  
“Levi?!” Jean's tone must have alerted Eren as Levi flinched, a groan passing his lips as his hand tightened on the leather grip in his hand, his eyes closing. Jean took that opportunity to push with his weight, sending Levi tumbling until he was over him, holding him to the floor, Levi arm darting out so the gun was back in place, angling Jean’s head upwards, his free hand reaching up and fisting into his short hair. He pulled back harshly, wings twitching as if wanting to roll themselves upwards and encase them both.

“L-Levi…”   
“Shut the  _ fuck _ up. You don’t get to decide for me. That’s  _ not  _ your right.”  
“It’s not his either!!” His voice was strained as Levi pulled his neck back further, stretching it up to the point where it couldn’t stretch backwards any more, the gun now pressed into his jugular. Jean’s legs came out under him, body able to follow the pull Levi had on his hair, rolling back, Levi dropping the hold instantly, on his feet a second later thanks to his wings. The pain that was shooting through his wings not anywhere close to registering at the moment thanks to Eren. The gun was pointed and he was breathing heavy, Jean holding up his hands as his eyes trained on the weapon, seeing it shaking ever so slightly. Grey eyes went to Eren as he hit the floor thanks to Mikasa’s attack, seeing him being beaten, Jean taking the pause and hesitation of what was clearly Levi wanting to help the demon, to disarm him. It didn’t quite work though, Levi using his height and speed to his advantage, easily dodging the haymaker and lunge for his weapon and aiming the weapon at Jean again. “Don’t  _ test _ me Kirstein.”  
“You aren’t going to shoot me, Levi. We both know it.” Anger was fully on his face now, thrumming through his body and he cocked the gun with his thumb, aiming for a headshot.  
“Now, Hanji!” As he heard Mikasa’s words, he heard Eren’s over it, vibrating through his mind.

_ Leave.  _ **_Now_ ** _. That’s an order. Get out at  _ **_all_ ** _ costs. _

His body flew into action, a gunshot sounding along with Jean’s shout as he fell to the floor clutching his thigh. Grey eyes glossed over Mikasa in favour of looking to the balcony behind him, seeing the door forced open. Another well aimed gunshot later, another was down, stumbling as the blue winged Nephilim he vaguely recognized fell to its knees, Hanij shouting orders left and right. Levi wasn’t listening. He felt the hold Eren had over him start to fade, but still he followed through. The need to obey was still fresh in his mind without his body being taken over completely. He wasn’t being taken. No. No.  _ No. _

His feet took him towards the front door, getting as far as pulling it free of the lock before hands dragged him backwards, the gun sounded as his hand tensed due to the attack, shooting the floor behind him, the bullet making a Nephilim flinch and jump away as it nearly landed through a booted foot. The silver weapon soon hit the floor as he was forced to drop it, mind instantly going into survival mode per Eren’s telepathic request. A short fistfight later, another body dropped to the floor unconscious. “God damn it  _ bag him. _ ” The words sent up red flags as a bag was thrown over his head from behind, instantly flailing, hands shooting up to his face, ripping the fabric off his head and twisting to roughly throw it over his attackers, the girl fell to her knees with a scream as a snap was heard. There went her arm with a directed blast of Nephilim energy.

He had to get out. He  _ needed _ to get out. He couldn’t stay here, he couldn’t be taken. If he got out, he could go find Eren afterwards. He could go back to him. If he got taken, there was no guarantee he was ever going to see him again. These thoughts alone spurred him on, darting to the door and yanking it fully open, heading straight down the corridor, hearing Hanji scream and movement start to occur. He just needed to get in the air… once he was in the air… He could outrun the lot of them.   
He had to obey. If he didn’t obey Eren’s last wish he wouldn’t be able to live with himself. He was the only one right now not trying to hurt him, not trying to cause him harm by essentially kidnapping him.

Bare feet hit the roof moments later, wings beating behind his back, ready to lift him into the air. He jumped, giving himself the boost as he flew up several feet, only to have a body slam against his own, cream wings filling his vision as he was sent tumbling back to the roof. He grunted in pain as he felt himself be manoeuvred, strong arms holding his arms and wings in place from behind, legs soon wrapping effectively around his shins, binding him completely, feeling blood start to be soaked up by his sweat pants from the wound he’d inflicted on Jean’s thigh. “Hanji for fucks sake!!” Jean’s voice came from behind him as he began to struggle with a gusto. 

A blindfold was soon round his eyes and he thrashed out against the hold, a needle passing his skin, flinching as it was pulled out a second later. Even given the liquid was now running through his system, clearly a heavy tranquillizer, he managed to get his arms free and yank the blindfold off, snarling as he did so, screaming ‘no’ at the top of his lungs. He couldn’t take being blindfolded anymore and when it tried to happen again, he almost head-butted Jean behind him to stop anyone placing it over him. “Leave it! Don’t!” Somewhere deep down, he was praising the voice of the cream winged Nephilim holding him, adjusting his hold to force Levi’s arms back against his sides. He fought it, man did he fight it, but soon enough he couldn’t any longer, his world becoming completely black as he went limp in Jean’s arms, head rolling on to his shoulder, his wings vanishing from view. “He fought like  _ shit _ .”  
“Why do you think I brought my own team? How’s the leg?!"  
“I’ll live, Hanji. I can still take him.”  
“I can get someone else to, Jean, really.”  
“No, I got ‘im.” Jean was helped to his feet, Levi in his arms in a bridal hold, his hands around his neck and soon his wrists were tied with zip ties, head hanging loosely backwards as Jean took to the air.


	25. Chapter 25

The meeting room was silent as Erwin re-entered it, Hanji sat tiredly at the other end of the table with a small heap of esoteric-looking texts about as thick as her forearm for company.

“What did they say?” she asked, her expression tense as she glanced up after hearing his chair scrape against the floor and creak as he sat down heavily. “Levi has been frantic since the drugs wore off. If it’s not good news I don’t know how we’re going to keep him down.”

“It’s not good news, Hanji.” he replied wearily. He’d been doing this for hundreds of years in human terms, they both had, and it never got any easier. The fact that this was going to hurt Levi, and Eren to an extent, made it even worse. “They took one look and said that if we can’t find a way to get the demon out in the next twenty four hours, Eren is going to have to be.. well..”

That was all Hanji needed to hear to make her go straight back to her books. Whatever Petra had done, they’d find a way to reverse it. They had to. 

“…killed.” she finished, her frown only deepening. Nevermind Eren, this was going to be just too much for Levi, and she wasn’t prepared to watch him break over this.

“They said there was something about him. Something different. Do you have any theories on how this might have happened if it wasn’t Petra?”

_ “Wasn’t _ Petra?” Hanji looked up once more, catching his eye and wondering what he was thinking, because she could clearly see the cogs turning behind those troubled blue irises. “Well.. we have had a recent large spike in the number of new recruits whose wings were a lot darker, and there seems to be some connection between that and the rate at which people are defecting.”

Erwin knew exactly why people were leaving for the Legion side, and he was starting to wonder if he blamed them. It was because Petra knew the truth behind their whole war. The truth that he had agreed to shoulder alone to help keep the demons back, because no matter how bad the angels were, the demons were worse. At least the angels had a conscience and a code of ethics. Demons had survival of the fittest and knew no guilt at all – or if they did, it was buried under their insanity as they gave into the weight of their own amplified desires. Eren’s current state was all the proof either of them needed.

“They called him ‘ground zero’, like we’re facing some sort of infection and he’s the start of it.” Erwin replied, looking entirely puzzled for the first time in a long time and clearly frustrated that he didn’t know all the facts.

“I have to say, I’ve never seen anything like this before.” Hanji replied, frown deepening as she adjusted her glasses. “There’s just no precedent for a Nephilim being possessed, only of them becoming Legion if they allow negativity to make them stray too far.”

“I don’t think he’s actually possessed at all.” Erwin’s words were slow, calculated, and they made her actually stop to listen. Considering everything he’d heard about what had gone on since the first time Petra had made the attempt on Levi, there was no way Eren would have been able to get past the warding that Levi put up in his apartment if he were possessed. Not to mention that he’d just been informed that a  _ second _ exorcism specialist had been forced to give up because nothing was working.

“What are you saying, Erwin? That he’s been a demon hiding under our noses all this time?” Hanji asked sharply, unafraid to challenge Erwin’s suspicions of the teen currently being held several floors beneath their feet in less than hospitable conditions. “That he’s been able to trick  _ Levi _ , trick  _ everyone _ for years?! Because I’m sorry, but if you are, I’m going to have to call you on your bullshit. That demon didn’t last a week once Mikasa came back.”

“No, not for years. Just since this business with Petra started, because I’ve been discussing this with Armin, and he said he noticed something about Eren’s eyes that night.” Erwin replied, unmoved. “Whatever she did to both of them was what triggered this demon, and the black-outs he’d told you had stopped were the demon starting to take over his body without his knowledge.”

“They just never stopped, did they?” Hanji murmured, slamming down the book in her hands. She already knew that there was nothing in them that would help, but she couldn’t sit and watch Levi anymore without doing  _ something _ . “Oh god.. he tried to tell me. He tried to tell me something was wrong, and I ignored him like Jen said. What sort of friend am I?!”

“The question is, if this could happen to Eren without any of us noticing, how many others will it happen to? The implications could be huge.” Erwin sighed in frustration, running one hand through his hair as he slumped back against the chair, staring at the plain, unforgiving panelled ceiling.

“Will you stop thinking about your goddamn strategies for  _ one minute _ ?!” Hanji hissed. “Eren’s  _ life _ is at stake here, and god only knows what the implications of that are for Levi right now. Don’t you give a damn about either of them at all?!”

“You’re right.” Now it was Erwin’s turn to look chastised. “This is about them, not our situation.”

“Damn fucking right it is. Just for once you need to prove you actually care about Levi, and you need to put him first.” She shot back, standing up and pushing her chair out from the table. It was a low blow, she knew, but she was angry at both of them. Herself for not seeing this sooner and Erwin for being able to keep his emotions so removed from all of this when she knew for a fact he was hurting too.

“I can’t trust anyone else with this, Hanji,” he sighed, leaning up to rest a hand on her shoulder and squeeze as she took a long breath in and out to calm herself. “I’m sorry to ask, but I need you to try. I don’t trust the people Zackley has sent not to have given up halfway in order to force us to kill him because that’s what the brass really want.”

And by that, of course, he meant the angels all of this was to support. 

Hanji nodded, turning to head for the door before pausing, a sigh passing from her as she stared down at her boots for a moment and then back up at him with a look of pure steely determination.

“We  _ are _ the brass, Erwin. And there are scared teenagers out there who are depending on us to save the person they care about. To know what to do.”

“Right as usual.” Erwin gave her a tired smile, nodding. “I guess I should follow the example that you and Levi set more often, instead of just focusing on what the angels want from us.”

“Perhaps you should. I’m going to visit Levi, and then I’ll try my best to get Eren back.”

“Who’s with him?”   
“Jean and Marco. He won't let anyone else go near him.” Erwin nodded at that, hoping he'd let Hanji in once he’d calmed down.

“Thank you. Call me if you need anything. Anything at all.”

“I will.”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


The atmosphere in her office on the medical floor was tense and heavy as Hanji got there. Marco was outside the open door, Levi hadn’t allowed it to be closed, and Jean was currently leant against her desk, staring at the far corner. “Where’s…” Hanji began as Jean tilted his chin in the direction he was staring. Levi was sitting on the floor in the corner, huddled into himself with red rimmed eyes and only in his boxers. He’d stopped crying thankfully.

“He calmed down about 10 minutes ago.” Jean's voice was soft and quiet as Hanji stood next to him looking downright heartbroken. 

“10 minutes ago?” Jean nodded, Hanjis voice the same tone. 10 minutes was about right for Zackley’s people to have stopped what they were doing. “His wings?” 

“Right after you left an hour ago.” Hanji nodded, starting to move over to Levi slowly, only for her to watch him flinch slightly and scrunch his eyes closed. Jean stepped forwards and stopped her. “Let me.” Hanji looked confused as Jean made her step back.

“Levi?” His voice was quiet as he moved closer carefully. Levi opened his eyes and looked to him with wide eyes. “Can I come a bit closer?” Levi didn’t respond, grey eyes just watching him like a hawk. Jean tested the waters and stepped closer, seeing Levi hug himself that little bit tighter. He managed to get next to him, kneeling down slowly with a sad smile on his face. “Hanji needs to have a look at you, is that alright?” 

“She’s not coming near me.” Jean could feel Hanji’s heartbreak even further without looking at her.

“We need to check you over.” 

“Can’t you do it?” Levi's voice was quiet, clearly trusting Jean and it made the teens heart feel heavy. He didn’t feel like he’d garnered this trust at all.

“I wish I could… I‘m no doctor dude.” Levi looked past him to Hanji, not looking her in the eyes and the two toned blond followed his gaze. “She’s not gonna hurt you. I promise.”   
“Eren…” Grey eyes looked up to Hanji there, watery as tears threatened to fall again. “You didn’t believe me.” 

“And I am so sorry Levi, I wish I could change it and make all this better.” If Levi started crying again, she wouldn’t be able to hold it back any longer. She hated seeing him like this, she hated that she’d helped  _ cause  _ it. “Please, let me make it up for you by helping you now?” 

The thought of the bright young recruit that had effectively been AWOL for the last month or two with something else inside him made her heart clench. She still couldn’t believe she hadn’t noticed, hadn’t  _ listened _ when Levi had tried to point out to her that something was wrong, she’d just told him to stop deflecting and stop being paranoid. She watched Jean help Levi up, walking with him to the desk and helping him sit on its surface. He backed away slightly and grey eyes were on him as he took a chair with him and sat a few feet away. With his shirt off, she could see the faint white lines along Levi’s back and she dreaded to think how they got there.

Levi had done nothing to deserve this. Neither had Eren – the  _ real _ Eren, not the alien entity currently parading within his skin like it thought it had no weaknesses and couldn’t be removed. She hadn’t spent hundreds of human years studying demonology and experimenting to come up short now.

“I’ll get that bastard out of him, Levi, don’t you worry about that.” She promised, moving to stand next to Levi, happy when he didn’t pull away when she placed a hand over his left against the desk.

The words were more to reassure herself than him, or at least that was the impression she got when he shifted slightly and pulled his hand away to card through his dark hair in an effort to avoid having to meet her eyes.

“Hanji please, just get him out of there. I can handle this myself without you or Erwin getting involved.” he replied, the request quiet and hopeful. “I don’t want any of you to get hurt.”

His tone, however, was one of frustration and the vulnerability she could hear beneath that he might have been able to hide from anyone but her, wishing she wasn’t forced to be the bearer of bad news.  _ More _ bad news, that was.

“I’m sorry, honey. Really I am.. but I can’t. Erwin went to Zackley two hours ago and the orders just came back from Upstairs.” Her voice was barely above a tight whisper as she mentally cursed her Commander’s name. She’d been doing that an alarming amount in the past few months.

“And?”

“If I can’t get that demon out in the next twenty-four hours, he’s being.. well..”

“ _ Executed. _ ” Levi breathed, ignoring her hesitancy as he felt icy numbness trail down his spine. He should have guessed that already, but it still made him feel like the bottom had fallen from his stomach. Even with several floors separating them he could feel the demon’s presence pulling at his mind. Eren wanted to see him, wanted him close enough to protect.. but now that he’d spent long enough away to start to get back into his normal frame of mind he was beginning to question the nagging urge to return to the demon’s side. Did it want to protect him or just use him as leverage against Erwin and Hanji? Did it love him, really? Or was it just a better liar than most of its kind?

“I was going to say decommissioned, but if you want to be so heavy-handed..” Hanji replied, frowning good naturedly at him. 

“Just call it what it is, Hanji. Zackley is a fucking  _ coward  _ and they’re having him executed for nothing.” He sighed again, restless, moving off the desk and wobbled slightly on his feet, Jean up and next to him in a heartbeat. “They didn’t even have the backbone to give him a goddamn trial.”

“Trial?! Levi, he’s a  _ demon _ . We’ve already proved that beyond a doubt. What would a trial prove? Have you forgotten what that thing did to you?!”

“Nothing that I didn’t  _ earn _ .” He fired back, honestly still believing the words. Even now he couldn’t say that the hold Eren’s demonic side held over him had diminished in any real terms. Even when Hanji was about to try and destroy it… and he was about to let her. It was almost a betrayal on his part, if he allowed him to worry about how Eren must be feeling right now, locked up, bound and alone, probably still hurt from the last two attempts to detach the demon half from the Nephilim half. “You weren’t there all the time, Hanji. You weren’t around for the good days, or all the times he held me, or all the times he apologised for what he did. Demons don’t  _ cuddle _ , and they don’t give a fuck who they hurt. But  _ he _ does.  _ He  _ loves me. Just as much as the Nephilim.”

“You don’t hurt the person you love, Levi,” she replied flatly, her expression showing a weariness that was almost bone-deep. “Not like that.”

“But I did.” The haunted look in his eyes told her instantly that it had been the wrong thing to say. “Didn’t I? That’s what caused all of this in the first place.”

“Either way, you’ll get him back soon, I promise.” Her eyes found his and held them, focused and solemn. “The  _ real _ him. I have no intention of failing the kid, not when you need each other back so badly.”

Levi sighed, nodding. “Rather you than Erwin, I suppose.” He replied, a smirk that didn’t go all the way up to his eyes as it usually did crossing his face as his dark humour made a brief reappearance. He didn’t understand why no-one else seemed to grasp the idea that the demon they were all so angry at or scared of was still  _ Eren _ under the surface. Just.. not the side to him that they all knew. “He’ll just make everything worse like he always does.”

“Definitely.” Reassured by the recovery of a little more of the man she had known, she got to her feet and grinned at him, turning to head for the door as her wristwatch beeped with a two word message from Erwin. “Time for my turn. This physical is going to have to wait, ok?” Levi nodded slightly, taking a deep breath. Levi nodded and their eyes connected for a short time before she left, Levi leaning against the desk heavily. Grey eyes watched her leave as he leant forwards, sighing a breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding. He was half a building away and he could still  _ feel _ Eren in the lower levels. He’d been holed up in Hanji’s office space as he woke, twitchy and hysterical. She’d tried to make him go home minutes after he’d woke, but he’d refused, not wanting to leave Eren here on his own.

* * *

He was now sedative free, and more importantly, getting more and more demon free… for the most part. He was starting to feel again and it was overwhelming, causing him to not be able to sit down, walking around Hanji’s desk. Even though he could still feel Eren tugging at the connection made by their contract, he was starting to feel like himself again. One that he hadn’t felt like in almost a year. Ever since he’d lost his memories, even when he’d got them back, he hadn’t felt right. Hadn’t felt the same. His Nephilim senses were still dull, still not working correctly and he was starting to think they never would, at this rate. 

His wings ached beyond reason as memories of what happened flooded his mind, and his anger sent Hanji’s desk chair flying to the wall from a blast of energy, Jean barely flinching as he now stood inside the door, Marco still outside. That wasn’t love… it wasn’t… Even though he’d deserved it, it couldn’t be love. He’d warranted being hurt. He’d brought it on himself and that just made him angrier. He suddenly stopped as he moved towards the window, hearing his name in his mind, looking towards the floor. He felt Eren become angry, clearly Hanji was now in place downstairs, ready to try what others couldn’t do.

The thought alone made him sick. He couldn’t stop the feelings he was experiencing, he couldn’t just turn off how much he cared, how much he loved the man who would no doubt be chained down so he couldn’t fight, couldn’t run… couldn’t defy… He closed his eyes, Hanji’s belongings being scattered by his hands, files and books and pens hitting the floor until silence took over the room again as he breathed heavily, trying not to think about the past months as he closed his eyes, bracing himself against the wall.

Levi couldn’t help but think about Eren downstairs, alone and left to the actions of others. It put him on edge that he was sentenced to death purely because they didn’t understand. Because they didn’t see what he did? None of them saw the gentleness that he could give, the love and care he’d received. Yes, he’d admit he received a lot of pain, but nothing he didn’t deserve. Every bit of pain and punishment that was dealt to him by Eren’s hand was something the demon hadn’t wanted to do. He hadn’t wanted to hurt him and apologized every damn time, took care of him afterwards. He’d even shouldered the pain for crying out loud.

“How the fuck are we going to get out of this, Eren?” The words were meant for only him, barely a whisper as Jean and Marco looked on to him.   
“Levi?” He looked round as he flinched slightly at the sudden voice. Grey eyes looked at the shirt that was offered, then looking to Jean now only in a t-shirt and slacks. “You gotta be getting cold…” He reached out to the shirt before pulling his hand back, clearly hesitating as there was a twinge in his back. “No one’s going to tell you off, promise.” Levi looked to Jean shaking the shirt slightly and he took it slowly, soon putting it around his shoulders. Eren’s clothes buried him and Jean was that bit taller than Eren was. He did a few of the buttons in the middle knowing full well that it would slip off him if he didn’t. He left the sleeves long, his hands curling inside around the cuffs to pull the fabric into his fists.   
“Thanks.”

Levi stumbled slightly, feeling a tug on his wings. Jean’s hands were out quickly, Levi’s hands taking hold of his forearms from where they were buried in the deep red fabric as his eyes slid to the left, focusing on a distant object he couldn’t quite see.

In the next instant he was screaming, the pain bringing him to his knees, hearing heavy footfalls heading towards him, “Levi? What? What is it?” He barely registered Marco’s voice as he felt hands on his rib cage from Jean having followed him to the floor. The night before flashed through his eyes, flinching as his hands pressed against the others chest and his head bowed forwards. Another scream passed his lips as he felt the pain flare again, and then again. It stopped after that, Levi having fallen forwards into waiting arms. His eyes focused again as he panted, looking up to Jean, the male helping him sit up on his own, an arm still around his shoulders even as he tried to push him away. “Levi, stop trying, I’m not going anywhere. He can’t hurt you anymore.” 

“ _She’s_ hurting him. Oh god she’s hurt his _wings_ , Jean. She’s hurting _me_.” His hands flew up to his shoulder, a groan of pain passing his lips as he clutched at himself. It wasn’t as bad as the wings, a stabbing pain in his shoulder.

“Who? Hanji? No, she’s trying to help you Levi, she’s not hurting you.”

“I can feel  _ everything _ she does! Why do you think I couldn’t calm down earlier?!” His head shifted to rest against Jean’s shoulder, trying to seek a small piece of comfort as his wings quivered while still hidden from view, his body a live wire as the night before pushed through his mind. Jean looked over his head to Marco, panic and concern across his face.

The freckled Nephilim looked somewhat concerned as he approached more, but giving them room so as to not make Levi panic. Levi’s eyes looking down to Jean’s thigh, fingers brushing the lightest touch against the bullet hole that was still visible, the fabric coated with now dry blood

“What do you mean you can feel it?” Levi’s eyes moved towards Marco’s, pulling away from Jean slightly to do so, lifting his left hand shakily and showing it to him, a sad, pained look on his face, shame bleeding through with a vengeance. “Come on, we’re going to see Hanji.” 

“No.” 

“What do you mean no?” Levi didn’t respond as Jean helped him up, the shorter male soon leaning against the desk and leaning his forehead against Jean’s chest. There was a moment of silence before Jean spoke again. “I don’t understand.”

“Jean, we’re connected.” 

“That’s not what I don’t understand!” Jean snapped, Levi flinching, Marco jumping in quickly and resting a hand on Jean’s shoulder gently.

“What the idiot is trying to convey,  _ I think _ , is that he doesn’t understand why you won’t go downstairs.”

“I can’t be near him…”

“Don’t you want to see him?” 

“More than anything, but I’m a liability if I go near him…” Jean obviously didn’t hear anything past the first three words, a hand clamping down on his wrist and pulled him away from the desk. “Jean get the fuck off me!” 

“We need to tell Hanji!” He was pulled out the door, not being able to get his wrist free.

“Jean!” Marco’s voice behind him, “let go of him. Jean, come on.” Jean stopped, not being able to  _ not  _ listen to the freckled half breed that was following, Levi ripping his arm from his grip as it loosened. “Go ahead, we’ll follow you.” The same hand flew to his chest as the breath was knocked out of him, stumbling back only to be caught and held still by Marco’s hands. “Jean, why are you still here?” He didn’t need telling twice, taking off at a run, not stopping until he was running past the guards and outside the room, knowing Marco would get Levi downstairs.

“Marco I can’t go near him. It’s a wonder I've not been compromised already.” 

“Hanji won't believe what Jean will be telling her if she doesn’t see it for herself. You know this.” 

Marco had managed to coax him into the elevator, out of it and down the corridor without him even realising. By the time he knew where he was, pain was ripping through him and a scream sounded from his mouth, clutching his thigh and falling heavily against Marco. Hanji soon appeared looking frazzled and serious at the same time, guiding both himself and Marco back to the lift. Jean was following close behind. 

They only made it to the elevator, Levi flinching away from her and shrieking in pain, hitting the wall and stumbling. Jean's arms soon found him, steading him. Man was he going to buy Jean a fruit basket or two after this was all over. He couldn’t thank the Nephilim enough, he doubted he’d ever find a way to do so. But by god would he try till he did. He was led down the corridor, Jean’s arms still around him and Marco now on his other side. Another scream erupted from him as he gripped the front of Jean’s jacket, feeling pain rip through him as Hanji was quick to direct them where to go once in her lab.

It lasted a good ten minutes. Whatever it was Erwin was doing he wasn’t exactly holding back in the slightest. He was helped lay on one of the beds, Hanji sitting next to him, holding his wrists together in her hands so he didn’t lash out, looking at Jean and Marco. “Go, he doesn’t need people watching him.” They went quickly, taking position outside, well out of normal speaking voice, though couldn’t escape the screaming.

“What the  _ fuck _ is he doing to him?!”

“Levi, hunny calm down.”

“I  _ need _ to go to him, Hanji, I need to see him. He’s going to kill him. I can’t not see him.” She was on top of him in an instant, holding him down with force, not letting him get up. Levi was stronger than her and it really was the only way to keep him in place. 

“Hell no. You aren’t putting yourself through seeing that, it’s bad enough you can feel it.” 

His thought process had done a complete turn, from having not wanted to go near Eren to not be used to wanting to see him at all costs.

Another scream ripped from his throat, coinciding with the demon being pushed forcibly down in Eren’s soul. He began shaking, Hanji’s eyes darting worriedly over him until it stopped and he lay panting under her. She waited several minutes, making sure it was over before moving off him, helping him sit up carefully before sitting next to him, taking a hand in both of her own. “Looks like it’s over.” He was silent, looking to their hands, looking thoroughly exhausted as he sat there. “Levi?”

“I can’t do it anymore, Hanji. I can’t.”

“Can’t do what?” Her voice was soft, leaning down slightly to see his face, seeing the tears clinging to his eyes, it pulling at her heartstrings. 

“This. Any of it. I can’t sit by while he’s killed. I won’t. I can’t.” He shook his head slowly, lifting his head and looking up at her. “I need to see him, as  _ him, _ before he dies Hanji,  _ please _ .”

“I don’t think that’s going to be possible, Levi. I just don’t see Erwin, or anyone, agreeing to that. He could go demonic again if Erwin’s succeeded in keeping the demon at bay. If we couldn’t get rid, that was objective two.” He nodded slowly, looking away from her and to the open door, to Jean’s back.

She didn’t know how to approach the subject of having to look him over, to make sure he was physically ok. So instead she pulled him to her, hugging him against her chest as he let the tears fall while she thought how to approach it. It had been one hell of a fight he’d put up when they’d gone to get him, and the tussle with Jean, she knew Jean had ended up cutting his leg with the weapons on his gear, but he’d not said anything since. She didn’t know his healing capabilities while the demon and he were linked. “Levi… I need.. I need to do that physical now, is that alright? Just to make sure you’re alright…”

“Where do you want me?” His words were spoken round a sigh, looking up to her,

“Here’s fine...” He nodded, watching as he moved away quickly, heading out to get supplies, instructing Jean to go to Levi’s office and hunt out a new set of clothes for Levi to change into so he didn’t have to be in Jean’s shirt.

“No…” Jean stopped as he turned in the doorway, Hanji looking at him.

“You can’t stay in your boxers and Jean’s shirt for ever, Levi.”    
“No.. not him.” 

“Ok, Marco can go?” Levi nodded a little, the freckled teen smiling. “There should be a bag under his desk, Marco.” The teen nodded and was soon heading to the lift.

Once she brought the supplies over, Levi was sitting on the edge of the hospital bed, staring out the window with a vacant expression across his face. Even though he was nowhere near under Eren’s control anymore he was still distant, still barely in the room with her as she approached. This wasn’t who she knew him to be and she could barely stand to see it. Bare feet were dangling above the floor by about a foot, eyes shifting to his toes as they twitched minutely every now and then as she stood next to him. She was actually rather shocked that Jean had been able to get him out of his clothes, since she hadn’t expected him to in the slightest, but it had needed to happen given all the state of the clothes from the fight with Jean.

His eyes were as blank as he could get them, though not able to block out all the pain that was inside of him. His breathing was deep and slow as Hanji looked at him from a few feet away, focused mostly on his face, as he didn’t have a mark on him that she could see bar his hand of course, but that was a mark she was pointedly ignoring for now. Bar his lack of nourishment and distinct lack of restful sleep, he  _ looked _ physically fine… His mental wellbeing on the other hand. Well, small noises were making him twitch right now so she was trying to be as careful, quiet and as gentle as possible.

She set to work, thoroughly becoming ‘Doctor’ Hanji Zoe, as she carried out the small ministrations. She checked everything she could think of. His reactions were there, but somewhat delayed, and his Nephilim senses were completely off. She could sense Marco coming back to join Jean outside, but she highly doubted that Levi could feel either outside the room. “Marco’s found your bag from your office…”

“He’s back here?” Hit the nail on the head.

“He’s outside with Jean, can’t you feel him?” He didn’t respond, Hanji taking his face in her hands, Levi letting her manhandle him as much as she needed, tilting his head and acting as though the collar wasn’t there, pressing his skin to feel underneath at the nodes hidden by the flesh. She worked her way down both arms, checking for marks, feeling his muscles. They were severely diminished, but she gathered that was because he hadn’t been using them just like his Nephilim senses, and was sure they could both be worked back over time. She got to his legs, not seeing any marks from Jean, not even scars she knew were there existed anymore. The powers of a demonic presence, maybe?

She stood back, taking a deep breath, having checked his back first, knowing there was nothing untoward there bar the thin white lines that were barely there unless you looked hard enough, though his tattoo was slightly off color, and she guessed his wings were just as bad right now. “Levi, hunny, I need to see your wings.”

“What for…?” Her heart clenched at the fact his voice was so quiet, so detached from emotion. It was like she was listening to the Levi that had just committed to this life all those decades ago. Even more so when she realised how compliant he was being during this exam.

“Just to check them over. Come on, please. Just need to check that you can still fly.”

“I can fly.”

“I need to check it Levi, come on.” She didn’t want to force it, knowing full well from what she’d been told, that would probably result in Levi attacking her, breaking down, or bolting. Or possibly all three, and she didn't want to risk it. “You know what? I’ll go see Marco, get your clothes from him while you gear yourself up for it. How’s that sound?” He looked away to the door as she moved towards it, nodding to herself and heading out the room.

Why was any of this happening? What had happened to make any of this possible? Oh. That’s right.  _ He’d _ happened.  _ He’d _ pushed for a hunt he shouldn’t have. Fucking damn it he was such an idiot.

Because of his fucking mistake Eren’s life was on the line and that was something he never wanted to happen in a million lifetimes. He was his one constant, and he was about to be taken away from him. 

On the brightside, he couldn’t feel the demon as much now but could feel Eren, and he knew he was unconscious... by what means he didn’t know. Levi just knew he was sleeping right now and he wanted nothing more than to go down there and curl up with him. But he couldn’t. They weren’t going to let him see him, and that was unacceptable in his eyes. He needed to, even if it was for the last time. He  _ physically  _ needed to see him. Maybe if he cooperated, Hanji would be able to be pushed into letting the meeting happen, even if it were only for 5 minutes. He just had to look in to those green eyes again and say how sorry he was, say how much he fucking cared and that he was sorry that all of this had happened.

With that thought in mind he took a deep breath, knowing the pain that was going to shoot through him. They ached where they were invisible to the eye, and as he stretched them, he groaned lowly, his eyes closing at the action. His head bowed as his wings stretched out behind him, healed for the most part but you could tell they’d been subject to damage. There was still blood all over the feathers that needed to be cleaned off, but he sure as hell wasn’t thinking of doing that yet. He took a deep breath, blinking his eyes open as he started to his feet, curling his toes a few times. It didn’t hurt half as much as he thought it would, thankful beyond reason that it didn’t, but he made it a point as he gripped the edge of the bed with his hands to not look up once Hanji re-entered the room.

He was also thankful she hadn’t commented on the colour. Or the blood. She moved behind him, hesitating. “It’s fine, Hanji.” She waited another moment, eyes scanning the feathers before her fingers gave the lightest of touches, running carefully over the rows of feathers, looking for the marks she knew he’d been given. Levi looked up to the far wall, a frown setting in on his face, feeling she was touching only where Eren had marked with a knife. A cold chill washed over him, looking to his side slightly, his wings twitching away from her touch to make her look up. “He showed you… didn’t he?”

“Showed me what?”

“Don’t lie to me Hanji, please. I’ve had enough of lying. Your fingers went straight there...” She sighed, going back to her search.

“Yeah, he showed me. More like forced me to see.”

“I know the feeling…”

“I’m so sorry Levi, truly.”

“It’s fine, don’t apologize.”

“I can’t help but apologize, Levi. I ignored you, we all did. I should have listened, I should have seen what you were trying to tell me. I could have stopped this.”

“No, you couldn’t have.” She stopped as she got to the base of his left wing, hesitating before moving to the right. “No one could have. It would have just meant more people got hurt because of me. Enough people get hurt… I wouldn’t have wanted anyone else involved with no way out.”

“Levi…”

“No, Hanji, listen to me.” He turned slightly, so he could see her over his wing. “Don’t beat yourself up over this. Honestly. It happened as it was meant to happen. Even you couldn’t have changed that four-eyes.” She smiled softly at the name, Levi’s mouth pulling up at the corner in the ghost of a smirk that was long since gone. “Now hurry up and get this over with, my ass is freezing here.”

“Sir, yes sir.”

It wasn’t long until he was pulling on clothes, clothes that he noted were rather big on him now. He’d not had a chance to update his stash of clothes here since all this had kicked off. Hanji had left to go hunt up food and when she returned he was pulling on his boots, Marco heading in behind her carrying several boxes and drinks. He ate slowly, still not eating half as much as he used to, getting full after half the Indian takeout that they’d brought upstairs. Jean had been here before though, handing him sides every now and then when he wasn’t paying attention. This way, while they were all talking amongst themselves while Levi stared into space, he’d got him to eat 3 small naan breads and a handful of poppadoms. 

Levi noticed something though, Marco acting rather shifty as Hanji went to her desk, swiping something from the table, and when it was time to go, he realized what had happened. “Shoot, I’ve put my card somewhere.”

“Mine should still be in my office, if it’s still active.” He highly doubted it would be after today. They obviously didn’t want him going downstairs or leaving the floor for that matter. Jean and Marco clearly had other ideas. 

“Yeah, I think I’ll go swipe that one, I can get out the door with my code.”

“You’re leaving?”

“I need to nip home for a few things, then I’ll be straight back, I promise.”

“Take your time, Hanj, Jean and Marco will keep me company in the meantime.” She nodded, clearly none the wiser, leaning over to him and kissing his forehead quickly before dashing out the room. “Now tell me why I just lied to her.”

“Like hell you’re sitting here waiting for…” his voice trailed off, Jean swallowing, Marco taking over.

“Armin is waiting for us outside. We aren’t letting you stay here, Sir.”

“About time someone said something intelligent freckles.” He was on his feet in an instant, Marco and Jean following after him quickly. 

Armin was waiting by the elevator, holding it open, looking tired, upset and panicked when he saw Levi. “Lance Corporal, sir I…”

“Save it Arlett, we don’t have time.” Armin was still waiting outside the lift as the three of them had headed in, Levi clearly impatient.

“We’re not going to have long…” Armin started again, going straight to business instead of mushy feelings Levi clearly wanted to avoid for the time being. “they’re going to know we’ve moved you.”

“5 minutes is better than nothing. Honestly, I’d be grateful for 5 seconds.” The doors pinging open and they were heading towards the basement levels quickly, Jean leading the way.

The door was pushed open and he could feel Eren all around him like it was the only thing in his entire existence, in the history of all the universes. It took all his willpower to not shove Jean out the way.  _ “Levi…” _ He came to a stop in front of the bars, barely being able to see past Jean and Marco. 

“Eren...” He unfroze a moment later, his heart anchoring to the spot in which Eren was chained up and looking back at him. His eyes the greenest green he’d ever fucking seen. “Someone get these open.” Levi growled, looking over his shoulder and hoping to hell someone obeyed his order and fast.

“We don’t know if he’s safe yet.” 

“I said get them open, Kirstein, I didn’t ask for your opinion.”

“He’s safe.” He was liking Mikasa more and more as this played out.

The second the door was open he was through it, his arms around Eren the second he was there in a fiercely tight hug. One arm was around his neck, the other under his arm, his hand over his shoulder blade. He felt Eren try and move his arms, most likely to hug him back, but he was chained up tight and that wasn’t going to change no matter how much he wanted it to. It was hooked up to a system that would personally alert Erwin, should they break. Instead, the Nephilim started to try and pull away, Levi only increasing his hold to pointedly stop him doing so. “No.” He couldn’t stop the pain that was in his voice, the sadness, because he knew exactly what Eren wanted and he wasn’t prepared to give it yet. He wanted a few minutes before that had to happen. Levi didn’t want to let Eren see the damage up close, he knew he looked like a complete wreck, a mere shadow of the man he used to be and he didn't want that to be the last thing Eren saw. He heard footsteps behind him, and whispering, the others moving out of sight, but still close by and could hear.

“I want to see you.” Levi lowered his voice to match Eren’s blinking furiously to stop the tears. He didn’t know what was causing them, anger, sadness, or joy at finally having his Nephilim back in his arms.

“Not yet, Eren. Just… let me stay like this a little while longer. Please.”

“What.. what did I do?!”

_ “You  _ did nothing.” His grip loosened slightly, Eren clearly wasn’t going to relent on this. 

“Levi, please, don’t… I saw you when I wrote you that letter… I… I should have said something…” Levi sighed, pulling back from him and sitting on the edge of the bed, still close, but so Eren could see him properly, his hand touching Eren’s thigh. He refused to not have a hand on him at any point.

Thanks to the lack of decent clothes, the pull over black top was a little baggy, the slashed collar heading for his left shoulder, threatening to fall completely. The low neck showed off the black collar around his neck in full view and he was made more aware of it as green eyes lingered on it. His jeans weren’t so bad, though were falling slightly around his waist but thankfully the end of the top covered that. His sleeves were pushed up to his elbows, showing the bracelet around his wrist proudly, though it was loose on his wrist now. His eyes had circles under them and it was clear just on sight he’d not been eating, and that the stress and worry had got him in more ways than one. 

His eyes though, were back to the fierceness they had been before this whole mess had happened, a softness and warmth in them only reserved for the green ones he was currently watching. Eren hadn’t said a word since he moved, looking him over slowly, pain written across his face. “God damn it brat say  _ something _ . We don’t have time to sit and gawk.”

Still, his eyes were fixed on the collar around Levi's throat. Because it shouldn't be there at all. It belonged on him, it had always belonged on him and seeing it on Levi now felt wrong because he knew that he wasn't wearing it for the nephilim's sake. He was wearing it because the demon had forced him to. The demon that was still pushing, just under the surface, that Eren was resolutely keeping down until he chose to confront it. Whatever Erwin had done to him was still aching like hell but apparently sufficient enough to act as a barrier for as long as he didn't test it too much.

"How.. how did all of this go so wrong.." he muttered, sighing as he swallowed back the tears that wanted to break free of him. "I should have gone to Hanji.. and now they're going to throw me back into that damned meaningless cycle.." he had to pause, taking a shaky breath in and out, his words a tearful, pathetic whimper as he longed to be closer. As close as was physically possible. "I don't want to be human again. I don't want to forget you."

He moved closer, now Eren had seen him for what he was, a broken husk of what used to be, in his eyes anyway, and cupped his face with his hands. Their eyes met again. 

"Like hell I'm going to let that happen. And if it does, I won't be far behind." The thought was a morbid one, and he heard the whispers outside the cell cease, clearly listening to their conversation. "If that happens I'll find you again. I will  _ always _ have faith in that." He moved again, closer still and let his hands slide down Eren's chest, careful to avoid the symbols, his eyes landing on to them. 

Anger and pain flooded him as he looked at them, knowing damn well that it was Erwin's handiwork and not Hanji's. He'd never seen the symbols before but if it was keeping the demon at bay, he was looking at them as a gift from god. His eyes looked up, a tear falling as he did so, not able to hold it back any longer as his hands rested against the others stomach, his left on Eren's right thigh to avoid touching the carved flesh at his hip. His forehead pressed against Eren's and he sighed a heavy sigh. "My god I've  _ missed _ you." His eyes were closed, his voice was low, but clearly not doing anything to keep it down, not caring if the whole world knew, he needed to say these things and nothing was going to stop him. "So  _ fucking _ much."

"I've missed you too." Eren replied, smiling a little despite the pain that was coursing through him, both physical and emotional, his whole body aching with the need to throw his arms around Levi and just hold him close. He had to believe that they'd find each other too, because the alternative was just too painful. "I came back, though.. just like I promised. I fought for you." he added, his tone a little bit more cheerful as if to make it sound like the plus side to the whole situation.

"I just.. don't understand how it got you to contract. Although I won't lie and say it doesn't feel good, to be connected to you like this."

There was no blame there, no accusation, and it made him smile along with not disagreeing.

"He... He had... his ways..." He couldn't do it, shaking his head slightly against Eren's. He couldn't talk about this, not now. "I can't, not yet, not now. I don't want this ruined." He pulled back, moving so he was on the bed fully, wanting to be as close as he could get. 

He ended up sitting next to him and huddled against him as best he could, forehead against his neck, hand wrapped around his thigh like it was anchoring him to existence. "I've not seen the good side to this contract. I'm so sorry, Eren, I was so weak, I couldn't fight it...  _ him _ . I didn't stand a chance..."

"Neither of us did, but it's okay. We didn't know what was happening - that's changed now." he replied, trying to comfort him as much as he could without being able to hold him close. "Now we can fight back." Eren turned his head and nuzzled into Levi as he pressed as close as he could, inhaling the comforting scent that made him feel like home wherever he was, however bad things were getting around him. There had to be something they could do, some way to turn the contract to their advantage. Levi wouldn't waste it, he knew that much. He had to have asked for something productive. And being positive was one way to stop him thinking too much about this possibly being his last night with the man he loved so much. Who meant everything to him, even though he'd hurt him. So he was going to try and find something they could use. If they didn't fight, they couldn't win.

"I know it's painful to think about.. but what did you contract for? We might be able to use it to get me out of this.."

He opened his eyes, shifting so he could look up into the green eyes he so craved to see. He honestly couldn't get enough of them. Eren was right, it was painful, but he wasn't about to ignore the question. He might not be the demon, but his face and body had been the ones given the orders and he'd grown so used to it, that it had become a habit. His hand reached up to the Nephilims face, angling it so he could see his eyes better, their faces inches apart. 

"For a way out for Nephilim that encountered this problem, so they could overcome the demonic side of them and become themselves again." As much as he'd wanted to wish for just Eren back, he wanted there to be a way out for everyone, and he'd got it... He didn't even think of mentioning Annie, not here, not like this. "I just don't know what that way is... I didn't get a chance to look... Before..."

"That's good to know."

Eren nodded at that, his wings moving to wrap around the pair of them in an entirely habitual motion. If he couldn't hold him because he was chained to the wall, at least he could still do this with Levi so close. What he noticed immediately after he examined them was that the blue-black quality, the thing that had always been his and never the demon's, was back.

He had to admit, he flinched as the wings wrapped around them, looking between them, his hand slipping to rest against Eren's neck. "Well.. at least I'll die looking like myself again.." He forced his eyes to look at the black wings, though he stopped himself as his hand moved out before he could think. The feathers matched the ones around his wrist and it brought a sad smile to his face as the back of his fingers brushed against them lightly, feeling Eren shiver under him. 

"You're not going to die. Shut up with that already." His voice was quiet, eyes still looking to his fingers as they were still near to Eren's wing, the other curling it more to touch his hand. "I'm not letting that happen." There was certainty to his voice as he looked back round, his hand returning to Eren's neck as his eyes returned to meet the sea green gaze. 

His eyes were teary, his voice shaky as he breathed out a sigh. "Fuck if I'm letting you go now I've got you back. I've not been through hell to lose you now." Eren's head fell forward to Levi's shoulder as he screwed his eyes shut against the tears, not wanting to spend his last night with Levi like this. The fact that he couldn't touch him was driving him up the wall. But he knew if he struggled with the chains he'd end up tripping the alarm and letting Erwin know that Levi was down here, and then he'd be left alone again to wait till morning. There was no way he'd be able to sleep. Not like this.

"You have to. You have to let me go.. in case I fail. I can't hurt you again. I won't." He didn't want to hear the words, they stung like a fresh cut and he didn't want to hear or feel that right now. His eyes looked to Armin, to the card reader in his hands, listening to the quiet exchange as his eyes were now watching Eren's free wrists the second they weren't in the chains. 

As arms wrapped around him, his own came up to hold automatically, his mind telling him over and over that this wasn't the demon, that it was the Nephilim's crushing hold gripping him now. He relaxed considerably, he could  _ feel _ that it was Eren, he could feel that it was the half angel, and not the darkness that came with the demon. Their eyes connected again as Eren pulled back slightly, Levi's head moving into the featherlight touch against his cheek. 

There was no pull on the connection, and he hoped there never would be again. "Levi.." He saw Eren's eyes flick down to his lips, and he couldn't help but let the thought that if they kissed, kissed the way they used to, it would be far too much of a goodbye, and that was something he couldn't deal with in the slightest. 

Needless to say, lips soon pressed against his own and he felt an internal struggle begin in his brain, telling him to push away, but his body just didn't want to. His hands curled into fists around the side of the tank top that Eren was wearing as he kissed back gently. His eyes scrunched closed as he pulled back shaking his head quickly, seeing a flash of gold go through Eren's eyes that he didn't know was real or not. The sight made him panic, pulling away and almost falling off the mattress in his haste. He scooted back, looking scared beyond reason and on the verge of tears again as he clenched his fists to try and stop them shaking as Eren began choking over air.

Levi watched his hands burying in his hair and pulling, trying to ground himself to the cell. His knees were drawn up, wings tightening around him as he let out another broken whimper, unable to stop the tears this time.

Although the speed at which Levi had moved didn't surprise him it still hurt like a knife to the heart. Seeing Levi scared, scared of  _ him _ was more painful than anything else in creation, he was sure. He knew every thought going through Levi's mind, even if he was trying to leave the connection between them alone, trying to shut it out. He looked absolutely pitiful curled up on the floor half covered from view by his own feathers, but he didn't care. He just wanted this night to end. Wanted the demon to leave them alone, even if he knew that wouldn't happen until he confronted it. Till he accepted it. Right now he was too busy being disgusted and revolted at it, at the very idea that it had been inside of him and he had never noticed that it had warped his love for Levi to this extent. But ultimately it was still part of him, and only he could do something about it. And he would. He just wanted this last night, just in case in the end the act of accepting his own demons both actually and metaphorically killed him.

Levi had scuttled to his feet from the floor and backed himself up against the bars as Eren curled in on himself, watching as his hands curled around the bars at his hips, hearing movement behind him to his left and a soft 'no' from Armin. Clearly they had noticed his elbows as they passed through the gaps in the metal. His eyes were still on Eren as he spoke, the words pulling at his heart. "Please don't.. don't leave me.."

"Eren..." Green eyes met his own, and he couldn't help but wonder if this was a trick, that it was the demon. "Is.... Are you...  _ you? _ "

"Levi... It's me..."

"If it's you, you can get over here..." It was a logical command. If Eren was Eren he would be able to get up and leave the devils trap easily, if it wasn't... Jean's name was ready to be screamed to rip him from the room at all costs as he watched Eren pull himself up onto his feet. Levi would see Eren stutter in his step, would see the hesitation if it was a demonic trick.

But there was no hesitation in the movement as Eren got up from the mattress on the floor and headed over to him quickly, pressing his body against his, the sound the bars made echoing in his ears as Eren's hands wrapped around the bars next to his head. "It's me." His eyes angled to the ceiling, looking at the poor lighting as he swallowed, his eyes gaining a glassy look at the feeling of Eren's lips against his neck. "Don't think about it.. just.. let's just close our eyes and forget everything here and think about being at home, okay? Watching something stupid on TV.. getting takeout.. just spending every night with each other and nothing else.." His eyes closed as Eren made the trail up to his mouth, hands loosely holding the others waist, avoiding the symbol on his hip. "God I wish we could just go back to that.."

"Me too..." His voice was quiet, breathy as he blinked his eyes open, looking to Eren's mouth, seeing his tongue poke out to wet his lips. "But we can't... Fuck we can't." He leant his head forwards, resting their foreheads together. "Fuck..." He breathed the word out as his hands tightened against Eren's skin. "I hate this. I hate it all." He hesitated, shaking his head as he closed his eyes.

"We have to try. Just for tonight." Fingers pressed under his chin in a gesture so reminiscent of his own actions so many times before. His eyes locked with Eren's, swallowing thickly as he stared into green eyes. "Close your eyes." He couldn't deny the tone, couldn't will himself not to listen. Ten seconds later his eyes slid closed, trying not to let himself feel too much, just thinking of Eren, the Nephilim with blackish blue wings that had definitely stolen his heart all those years ago. 

Lips pressed against his own, a hand soon taking a place in his hair, sliding through the strands to tilt his head. The nip at his lip made him flinch and he tried desperately not to pull away. He pushed it down, pushed away the urge to push Eren off and focused solely on the Nephilim, that he  _ could _ push him away if he wanted. He wasn't being forced to do this, not by a long shot. Eren was just this close because he clearly wanted to reassure him, to let him know that it was alright. He stopped Eren deepening the kiss, but his left hand moved upwards, on to his neck. 

Soon enough, he pulled him down more to his level, finally taking the kiss to another level, deepening it and letting Eren's tongue slide against his own. He'd wanted to do it himself, at his pace to prove to himself he was doing this willingly, that he wasn't in as grave danger as his mind was telling him he was. A sigh left through his nose as his body relaxed against the bars and he let Eren push him back further into them, a soft, too quiet moan passed between them, Levi barely even hearing it, it not registering in his mind as their kiss swallowed it up.


	26. Chapter 26

Although it had been a very clever tactic, Hanji was eventually able to see through Sasha's sudden emergency request for help, giving that when she got to the coffee shop neither herself or Mina had a scratch on them. She knew in that instant that the entirety of the whole lot of Eren's friends were probably colluding to allow him time alone with Levi, having no doubt that the moment she'd left Jean and Marco had taken him to Eren's side for the night.

And looking at them now, curled around each other on the floor of the cell sound asleep, she couldn't say she blamed a single one of them. It was just a shame that they had maybe ten minutes left before Erwin had to order Eren to be taken out. They'd had their heads together most of the night after she got back, trying to find a way around it and coming up with nothing until Armin poked his head into the office and recounted the conversation he'd heard. The moment Hanji heard him rattle off what Levi had requested when he contracted word for word she knew what it meant. Eren had to fight the demon off on equal footing and nothing they could do would help. He had to conquer his own negativity once and for all instead of allowing it to rule his life. It wouldn't expel the demon but it would force it back down where it came from for good - and all that remained was whether he could do it or not.

If he could, they had Eren back.

But if he couldn't.. then there was nothing more either she or Erwin could do. His twenty four hours were almost over and the angels weren't going to let them do this in house. They'd send down one of their own, they had to. Only angels could turn humans into nephilim, and only angels could actively rob them of that status harmlessly.

"I knew it was only a matter of time before he got down here." Erwin's voice made her start, one hand flying out to grip the iron bars and another flying over her heart.   
"Jesus christ!" Erwin grinned at her quietly, his expression sad as he looked down at Levi's thin, tired frame.  
"I think I prefer Commander if it's all the same to you." he joked, not sounding quite as carefree as he was attempting to. "It's time to go, Hanji. We just have to hope he can get through this."

She swallowed, nodding. All they could do now was put their faith in Eren and try to understand enough to pick up the pieces afterward.

"Alright."

  
  
  


The sound of the door scraping across the floor stirred him awake, shifting against Eren where they lay curled up together, his hand dragging slowly over the bare skin of Eren's chest. He sat up, leaning against the other as Hanji moved into the cell, Levi becoming more and more awake by the second, even more so when Eren pulled him close as he sat up next to him. "Levi..." Hanji couldn't have looked any more apologetic if she'd tried, unless she burst into tears right there as she spoke. 

"No..." Erwin followed her in with chains in his hands, clearly gearing up to transport Eren to god only knew where.   
"It's time..."  
"No, Erwin, don't do this." He was quick to stand, wobbling slightly from sleep, but put himself between Eren and the others bodies. "Please don't."  
"Levi we have to."  
"Like hell you do!!" He felt Eren's hands on his hips, his body being pulled back against his front. "You don't have to do shit, Erwin."  
"Don't make this any worse than it has to be, Levi, please." He hands clenched into fists, stepping back, forcing Eren to do the same as Hanji and Erwin stepped forwards. 

Hands circled his waist slowly, giving him a tight hold as Eren leant down, pressing a kiss to his ear. "Now's the time to say goodbye, sugar."

Hanji's was looking straight at him, their eyes locking for a few seconds before Levi snarled. 

"No! I am not fucking saying goodbye, because your not fucking taking him!"  
"Levi, please..." Eren's voice in his ear made him stop, turning his head towards him, leaning back as a hand angled his head so he could see better. "You gotta let me do this."  
"Eren, don't."  
"You've got to accept this. You've got to let me go in case I don't pull through this."  
"No. I'm not. I don't have to do anything. You _are_ going to make it through this."  
"Levi..."  
"No, Eren, I'm not saying goodbye to you. I can't. Don't ask me too." Hanji had looked away, but Erwin was watching with a watchful eye, just in case Eren lost control.  
"Then say, I'll see you soon, because either way, I'm sure we will. You lost your memories and still found me, after all,"  
"Eren..."  
"You said it yourself, that you wouldn't be far behind..."  
"I won't need to because you promised me." Eren gained a small frown, and Levi mimicked it. "You promised me you'd fight. You promised me you'd never stop fighting. Don't fucking go back on your word brat, or so help me god I will end you myself." Eren's hand pulled him, making his lips press against the others quickly, the kiss passionate enough that it even made Erwin finally look away. They pulled away breathless, Eren moving passed him and Hanji as he moved towards Erwin.

He watched with panicked eyes as Erwin cuffed the Nephilim in chains similar to the ones connected to the wall, and he couldn't let this happen. He started to surge forwards only for Hanji to catch hold of him and loop her arms across his chest as his momentum managed to put her behind him, pulling back with a surprisingly strong hold. "Hanji let me go."  
"You'll see him soon. We are just taking him to a more secure room. You'll be right behind him."  
"No. I can't. I can't..." Eren looked back to him as he was led out the door by Erwin to the awaiting convoy to escort him out of the bottom most basement level. He struggled, wanting nothing more than to have Eren back in his arms, Jean suddenly filling his vision as Erwin and Eren cleared the doorway, Jean's arms replacing Hanji's as he broke free and hit his chest, struggling and thrashing in the hold. "No!! Let me go!! Get your hands off me!! I need to be with him!! He needs me! Fuck off Jean!!" He was clearly losing his patience with the Nephilim. 

"It's for your own good not to go now. You'll see him soon, I promise you."  
"No, no _no._ I can't. I can't see him in a body bag. And I can't see him if he goes back. If he dies. _Oh god."_ His mind and body really needed to make a choice. To either go to Eren or not. It was dizzying how he couldn’t keep a firm decision.

It didn’t take long to get to where they needed to be. Marco was already in there, along with the rest of the 104. Not that Levi took notice of them, going with Jean straight to Marco, accompanied by Hanji. "Don't let him mess with this." Hanji spoke directly to Jean, who nodded, staying firmly by Levi’s side and ready to grab him as the drop of a hat.

“Got any idea what I have to do, Hanji?” His eyes never left Eren's, hating seeing him chained down and immobilised. This couldn't be happening. They couldn't be making him watch this?! “Why are you keeping Levi in here? Don’t you realise that he could get hurt if I don’t-”  
“-But you will, Eren. Close your eyes and fight to come back and you’ll win. That’s why Levi’s here, to give you something to come back to. You hear me? You _will win this.”  
_ “Alright. Mikasa, Armin.. thanks for being with me this far. Couldn’t have done it without you. And Jean? I know we fought.. but it was fun, right?”  
“Shut up and get this over with, suicidal bastard. We can carry on fighting when you get back.” 

Eren took a deep breath and closed his eyes. It didn’t take long for Hanji to state he was unconscious. Levi didn’t want to watch this, he didn’t want to be a part of this. He could feel the demon, could feel it inky and black against his chest. His legs suddenly buckled, falling to his knees next to Jean where they were stood, Jean following him down with an arm going around his shoulders. He vaguely heard his name, the room slipping away quickly, his vision replaced by the coffee shop, his eyes going to Eren, singing and playing guitar. 

Oh no. Not again. Please god not again. 

_“And I know you can’t resist this.. you know you are so addicted. Boy you better run for your life..”_.

The world filled his head, his hands shooting up to his ears, not being able to hear the panicked voice by his head, not feeling someone trying to move his dead weight. 

_“Welcome to the nightmare in my head, say hello to something scary, the monster in your bed, just give in and you won’t be sorry..”_

The words were hitting so close to home it was scary. This place, this kind of memory was something he thought had been safe, had been kept locked away from the demons prying eyes. He clearly guessed wrong, not able to even remember what song Eren had played while he was busy with cleaning down the shop. 

_“I’m the spider crawling down your spine, underneath your skin. I will gently violate your mind, before I tuck you in. Put on the blindfold there’s no way to be sure, which side you’ll get tonight..”_

The last two verses did it, scrambling blindly to his feet as his vision slowly returned, Jean doing nothing to protest him leaving, helping pull him out the room quickly. He was soon out of sight of the door and window and tugged Levi's arm, pulling him into a tight, protective hug. "It's alright, he'll pull through. He's a survivor, that's what he does.

Levi scrunched his eyes closed as his head pressed into Jean's chest, his hands near to his face with Jean's around him tightly. "It'll be over soon Levi, he'll be back with us..." Levi couldn't respond, his body shaking slightly as he forced there to be no tears passing his eyes. He'd cried far too much in regards to the demon and he didn't want to cry over the Nephilim as well. Eren deserved so much more than tears. 

He felt his wings begin to ache, a spasm going through his shoulders as they did so, Jean obviously felt it as the grip increased, "Levi??"

"Jean... Oh god... No. He's..." The scream that passed his lips was bloodcurdling. It ripped through his own _soul_ , never mind the Nephilim holding him. Hanji, Marco and Armin soon stood at the door. Jean's grip held strong, Levi starting to struggle, needing space. "Jean! Let go. _Fucking let go!!!!_ " His words weren't quiet, they were a shout mingled with the scream that ripped from his throat. Thankfully, Jean let go instantly, stepping away as Levi's back arched backwards, head tilting back and his arms going rigid at his sides. Another scream passed his lips, body falling to its knees, onto all fours with his head hanging between his arms, another scream passing through his lips as he felt a weight in the middle of his back, pressing against the juncture of the base of his wings. He was panting as the screaming stopped, his arms weak, his body shaking. Soon enough he felt hands start to guide him, his back against a chest and a hand across his front to keep him from falling. 

"You're ok, it's ok..." He couldn't thank Jean enough for everything he'd done for him, he'd probably never stop trying to make up for everything. He just hoped he'd never have to repay this favour. He didn't want anyone to go through what he'd gone through over the past year. Ever. Not even his worst enemy. 

He knew this pain, he knew what had happened, and he only hoped it wasn't lasting damage to the Nephilim, Eren hadn't screamed in the room, after all... "What happened??"

"His wings... They broke... Both _fucking_ wings..." His voice broke over the last few words, tears falling, finally, from his eyes. His body twitched as he closed them, resting his head back against Jean's shoulder. He didn't want any more pain, he didn't think that he could handle any more pain from the demon right now, or ever in fact. He was rather thankful neither Nephilim said anything, he didn't have the strength to converse on the subject right now.

Minutes passed by in silence, Levi's breathing heavy, Jeans even and calm, disguising how he felt. If it wasn't for the crushing grip around his chest, he'd have thought this whole ordeal wasn't affecting him in the slightest. "Do you think it's over?" Marco was looking into the room from the doorway, speaking quietly, Levi hearing Armin's voice, quiet and timid.  
"Not yet." A few more minutes passed them by until Levi twitched.  
"Sir?"   
"I..." He opened his eyes, only for them to close a second later, images beginning to flash before his eyes, capturing him as his body told him he couldn't fight. 

He saw himself smiling, looking down at a coffee with a heart shape in the foam from Sasha, remembering this day as Valentines day. A whimper sounded in his throat as he was forced to watch, not hearing Marco's voice from next to Jean, and shouting into the room that something was happening. 

_“I love when you’re this happy, Levi.”  
_ _“Thank you, for coming here with me.”  
_ _“You’re welcome.”_ The demon moved closer, Levi seeing the smile on his own face as he watched from the area's perspective, feeling nothing of what he knew that he was feeling at that moment. _“I’d do anything for you, pet.”  
_ _“I’d never ask you to.”  
_ _“You don’t have to.”_ He could feel the demon concentrating, and he remembered that it was to allow the gold to flash back across the shade of green he associated with the Nephilim. He saw himself lean in, closing the small gap between them and his heart broke, seeing the adoration on his face, seeing his eyes close long before the demons, feeling nothing close to what he was feeling on the other side of this memory. The demon's attention was solely on him, the coffee shop of no significance, but nothing of how he'd been told he was feeling. No love, just possessiveness and satisfaction in a job well done. 

His heart broke again. Had it all been true? Had the demon really said those things as truth, and not just to save himself with Hanji? 

_“Sorry if the eyes shocked you, by the way. It’s not like I can let anyone notice that I’m not anything but a nephilim out here.”  
_ _"No, it's... It's fine... I just wasn't expecting it, that's all. I'm sorry..."  
_ _"What for?"  
_ _"I didn't mean for any of this to be difficult for you. I didn't think. I should have.... We can go... If you want. I don't want anything to be a pain for you, Eren."_ A kiss to the back of a pale hand, made his stomach gain butterflies, just like the first time it had happened for real.  
 _"It's fine, really. I meant it when I said we'd do anything you wanted to. Besides, I might be out of practice but I could still take Kirsch-neigh over there any day of the week, don't you think?"  
_ _"I'd be worried if you couldn't."_

He shook his head violently, not wanting to see this any longer, not wanting to see anything that may come next. He pushed at the connection, pushed it away from his mind as his heart slowly shattered, slowly broke into small pieces at the scene he'd been forced to relive through the demon's eyes. Why? Had he just showed Eren this? Was the Nephilim being forced to relive the things he'd missed while the demon had been out to play? Oh god... If he saw him tied and blindfolded...with the demon at his side with a piece of paper... Oh dear god. His breath caught in his throat as he finally gained his own vision back, the corridor coming in to view as he looked forwards, copying back to his own senses, feeling hands on his face, seeing Hanji before him. 

"Are you back with us?"  
"Yes... I think so... He's..." He trailed off, Hanji shaking her head to stop him from continuing.   
"No, you don't have to say what you saw. This will be over soon, I promise you that, just hold it together a little while longer and the Nephie will be back in your arms, alright?" He couldn't disagree, he wanted nothing more than to have Eren back with him now meaning he couldn't go breaking down like he wanted to right now. He needed to remain strong for Eren, even if he could barely hold his mind and heart together for longer than a few seconds. He _had_ too. He didn't have a choice in the matter. "He'll get through this. You know his strength, you know he'll beat it." Her hands slid from his face and she stood, heading back into the room slowly, his eyes following her out of sight as he sat up, Jean not letting go. His other arm having circled around his stomach at some point during the vision he'd been forced to see. Clearly the Nephilim knew full well they both needed the comfort right now, and neither would deny it. They both knew Marco wouldn't say a word, but out of everyone right now, Jean and Hanji were the only ones he'd let touch him, and Marco knew this. Hanji was too busy with Eren, wanting to keep herself available in case anything occurred, and Jean was more than willing to help. They'd grown unknowingly close through this whole ordeal and it did bring a small smile to the freckled half breeds face as he looked on to them now, though soon looked away, eyes looking to Armin and Mikasa. 

He couldn't move, didn't want to feel as he felt his chest clench, and the darkness slipped away from himself his breath hitched, a sense of peace filling his being along with a slither of dread. It felt like a weight had just been lifted from his mind, his body, his eyes blinked open, having closed the moment he had relaxed into Jean's arms. He looked to the door, not being able to see in the slightest, the three of them as silent as everyone else. Had it ended? Was Eren alive? Surely he wouldn't be feeling anything at all if he wasn't. The Nephilim would hold his soul if the demon had vanished, surely? 

The gasp that sounded from the room was like a breath of life to every single Nephilim present. His eyes become desperate, wanting nothing more than to see Eren, see him whole again, to see him as he remembered him. He knew he'd won, he was himself, he _had_ to have won. 

Jean let go of him, Levi pushing himself slowly to his feet, his body not being able to move as fast as he wanted it to. His mind was full of ambivalence; apprehension at finally seeing his Nephilim whole again, but nerves and dread at him not wanting him anymore due to knowing the full extent of the past months. Had he seen everything? Did he know _everything?_

There was one thing in particular that he didn't want him to know, hadn't wanted him to see. He knew the demon wouldn't hold back with it, he knew he'd show him blindfolded and restrained to the bed, the moment in which the demon had effectively won. He got to the door and he stopped, hands on the left of the doorframe, his face having the issue of emotions fighting for dominance as Eren looked to him. 

He felt Jean move to stand next to him, Marco having moved into the room as Levi had got up. He couldn't look away, couldn't tear his eyes away from what he was seeing. His grip increased on the doorframe, his fingers white as he felt a hand grip his shoulder. "Levi....?" It sounded like Eren... But he'd been down that road before...

Levi couldn't look away, and it appeared Eren couldn't either from where he was restrained against the bed. He felt more eyes on him, seeing Erwin look to him in his peripheral vision. "Levi... It's him... He won." Hanji's voice tore at him, but he wasn't sure where it tore, because he didn't have his soul with him anymore as his face headed towards fear as grey eyes stared into the heterochromia of Eren's. He couldn't deal with it, turning on his heel, Jean catching him by the shoulders. 

"Jean..." his tone was one of warning, looking up to Jean's eyes, the fear present but also frustration, "let me go."  
"I'm sorry but I can't." His hands clenched to fists and he felt something dark in his chest as he closed his eyes.  
"Don't make me force you."   
"I can overpower you..." Jeans voice was a confident one and he frowned, eyes opening as his body began to rely on instinct, Jeans hold becoming tighter, turning him round and wrapping his arms around him, Levi not protesting as his eyes instantly connected with Eren's. "You need to deal with this. You can't put this off."  
"I can't deal with this, you can't force me to."   
"Levi, if you don't you'll regret it"  
"Don't fucking tell me about _regrets_ Hanji. You have no _fucking idea!_ " He spat the words as he struggled, the arms around him not letting him escape and he panicked, feeling cornered and trapped and his body decided to get him out of it, not wanting him to feel anymore pain of fear.

Black smoke swirled around Jean and in a matter of seconds it was gone through the wall directly behind him as Jean stumbled back, making everyone in the room either stand or take a step forward, bar Eren that couldn't. "...Erwin?"  
"I... He can't..." Erwin responded to Hanji slowly, looking at Jean who was looking at his arms confused as to why Levi vanished in a swirl of smoke that blew past him. "Can you..."  
"Yep..." She was moving a moment later, wings appearing in a smattering of feathers as she ran from the room. Jean was quick to move out her way and watch her run, soon seeing her jump out the window on the corridor they were in after yanking it open, disappearing from sight into the clear blue sky.

His body took him to the one place that he thought no one would look, the last place that he would be. His office in the uppermost floors. Levi stumbled as he reappeared, nauseous and dizzy with his vision blurring. What the hell had just happened? Had the demon done that to get him out the way of everyone? Had he sensed the fear and panic rising in him and set him up here so he could calm down? He looked around his office quickly, finding he was alone. 

He'd not been back here in some time, and it was exactly how he'd left it. The blinds were down over the windows blocking out the sunlight as they had done the last time he was here. The computer sat unused at the end of his desk, the couch having a spare hunting jacket over it carefully along with a spare red shirt. 

Pushing that out of his mind for the moment, he headed across to his desk, pulling the chair out and sitting down on it heavily, eyes on the ceiling as his head tilted back against the headrest. 

Levi didn't know what to think, didn't know how to feel. How was he ever going to look into those eyes again and not feel fear? How could he not see the demon with the gold colour to Eren's right eye staring back at him?! Hands ran down his face from behind his head, then he turned in a swift motion, wheels on the legs taking him to his desk, his head falling into his hands as his elbows rested on the edge of the desk. 

He'd hoped his Nephilim would become whole again, not take on the demon qualities. How could he trust himself? How could he trust anything he felt with half of the demon still around? With the threat of being controlled still hanging over him? He didn't want to be controlled anymore, he didn't want his free will taken away from him..

He heard the door open, refusing to look up because he could _feel_ who it was. "Levi..."   
"Eren, I can't right now..." He didn't know what else to say. On one hand he wanted to tackle the other into the wall and never let go. But another part of him wanted to bolt, to try and leave, to get far away where the connection wouldn't reach. If there was such a place...   
“Why? Why won't.. why can't you look at me?"

He'd didn’t moved as his hands touched the desk, thanking the stars that Eren didn't move any closer than that, happy to let him stay on the other side of the desk. He must not know how his eyes looked right now and he needed to find that out at some point. What better time than now? 

"Eren..." he sighed, staying right where he was, not looking and refusing to. "Take a look at your reflection..." He didn't have a mirror in his office, but he was sure a window would suffice if Eren moved a blind.

He risked looking up, watching Eren to the window. He let his arms fall on top of the polished surface of his desk, seeing Eren fall to his knees, eyes closed so he couldn't see them. "I should have just died. I can't break the connection.. not now it's gone.. this is never going to go away, is it?" 

"No... I don't think so." Grey eyes looked over the Nephilim's body, pushing his chair back slowly. He stood, moving across to Eren, hesitating as he knelt, not knowing if he was going to want to be touched by him in the comforting gesture he wanted to give. Instead he settled on a hand on the other's shoulder. "Please don't ever say you should have just died. Not around me." He let his hand slip away, standing and turning away from him but not moving away. "I... I can learn. I will get used to it..”

He bit his tongue at that, unable to conceal the shudder that ran through him as he felt the touch to his shoulder. It was gentle, but in that one instant it still felt that nothing mattered unless he _made_ it matter by thinking about it, it felt like he could ignore the tiredness in his limbs and the pain that had ripped at his heart - that he could lose himself in Levi and be home no matter where in the world he was.

But he couldn't do that. And he couldn't ask Levi to do it either.

He felt Levi let him go and moved after him, chasing the warmth that the single touch had made run through every part of him. He knew that while the guilt and grief was fresh now, it wouldn't last forever, presuming that he survived being severely distracted the next time he could work up the courage to hunt. But there was every possibility that Levi would never be able to reconcile his emotions for the two halves of him that existed with the Eren he was currently sharing a room with.

What had happened had changed him, he couldn't doubt that any more than he could just will his eyes to both be the same green they'd always been.

"You won't have to." He heard footsteps towards the door and he stopped moving, hand on the edge of his desk. "I can't ask you to do that.. not after all the things I.. _it_ did to you. What will we prove by tearing ourselves apart trying to ignore this?" He was already in pieces, the thought of ripping the pieces into smaller chunks should have bothered him more than it did, it barely phased him. 

"We don't have to ignore this.." He lowered his head as he turned, eyes at Eren's feet. "I know it's you..." He looked up, meeting the dual coloured gaze, only able to hold it for a few seconds before he twitched, looking away and to his computer. "I'm already in pieces and I don't want you to walk out that door." He swallowed thickly, his arms wrapping around his stomach as he spoke, leaning against the edge of the desk with his hip. "But I don't know what to feel anymore..." His voice was quiet, head hanging slightly to look at his booted feet.

"If you don't want me to leave then I'll stay." Levi didn't back away, he couldn't. His feet wouldn't let him move away from the body approaching him. As fingers reached up to his neck, his body froze, eyes looking down between them as fingers traced the strip slowly working their way to the back of his neck. "But I can't stand to see you wear that anymore. He's never coming back, and you don't belong to him. That's over now." His eyes were caught in the golden green gaze, unable to look away as his brain told him to obey as the gold became forefront in his mind, not moving and not protesting Eren taking off. If he wanted it off, then it was coming off. End of story. 

Fingers worked the clasp free quickly and his neck felt odd now that the leather wasn't around his neck. Thin fingers of his right hand came up to touch where it had rested for the past few months, touching lightly at the now bare skin, eyes still captured by Eren's. He couldn't not obey the colour, couldn't not think that he didn't have to anymore, but there was still fear there. Fear that he would be punished for saying no, for not agreeing with what he was saying. 

Although it was a good feeling, not feeling like he belonged to the demon anymore, a sinking feeling started to overtake him. Did he not belong to the Nephilim as well anymore? He felt like he was about to be walked out on, and he couldn't stop the sad expression that filtered across his face. 

His voice didn't cooperate, wanting to ask the question, but the gold and green colours that had captured him didn't allow him to do so. Even though he could see the green, the gold was still there and it was still holding him in place, refusing to let him question, to disobey. 

Eren set the collar down on the desk as if handling it burned, not wanting to be anywhere near it for the moment. He knew if he kept it he'd destroy it and if it still held any kind of significance for Levi he didn't want to do that.

"You're not mine anymore either." there was a pause so that he could breathe around the words as they choked their way out. "Unless that's what you want."

"Eren..." He didn't know what to say. He always wanted to be the Nephilim's, always wanted to be with him. But right now? Right this second? He didn't know if his sanity would let him. "I always want to be with you. This feels like a goodbye I don't want to have. But I can't look at you without seeing _him_ right now." 

His wings and back being sliced until he was near insensibility was still fresh in his mind, along with the kindness that the demon had shown on Valentines day now he'd been forced to relive through the coffee shop. "I don't know how to feel and I can't clear my head." He shook it as if to try and clear it that way, moving forwards so his head rested against the others shoulder, his hands loosely holding his hips. "I don't want this to be goodbye."

So he smiled, knowing that Levi could feel him coming to the conclusion too. He wanted their last memory to be one in which he was at least trying to smile. The demon had already picked their most recent memories apart, and the connection was tainting everything. It was like he couldn't avoid being drawn to it even when he actively tried to block Levi out.

"But it has to be, doesn't it?" his voice was small now, bittersweet. "If you can't see me without seeing the demon then surely it's better if you don't see me at all." But at the end of the day, whatever Levi wanted was what Levi would get. Eren would do whatever he told him to, even if it hurt them more in the long run - and he got the feeling that Levi probably already knew this. Or could at least now read it in him.

"But you'll stay if I ask you too?"  
"Always.."

He kept his head against Eren's shoulders, hands balling into fists at his sides, pulling the baggy jeans into them as he did so. "I want nothing more than for you to stay..." He took a deep breath, trying to find the will to continue. He supposed he didn't have to given that Eren would feel his anxiousness and worry, would get what he was about to ask. "But I need to clear my head of... _him_ , before I am going to feel remotely like myself again." He opened his eyes, bringing his forehead from Eren's shoulder to look at the bare skin, where the sigil covered his heart. "But I want to still be able to talk to you." 

He knew it was wishful thinking, knew Eren would probably agree, only to not show at a scheduled time and day and get someone else to tell him he wasn't coming. Eren leant forwards to place a gentle kiss on his forehead, it sending him reeling, his eyes closing as he felt Eren move away from him and towards the door again, knowing that this time he wasn't going to be moving back. "You won't see me again. Not until we're both ready." He wondered if he was ever going to be ready, he didn't feel like it, as his eyes opened and stared down at his feet. The tug at the connection between them made him look up, hearing Eren's voice crystal clear within his head, the shock that he'd been able to manipulate the connection without the demon had him frozen. What else could he do with that??

_'But that doesn't mean we won't be able to talk. This isn't a goodbye.'_

But he knew it was and he was struggling to think of anything else in that one moment than watching Eren walk away from him, even more so as the door closed carefully behind the other. 

He didn't know for how long he stood there, watching the door in hopes that Eren would come back through it, cancelling out the last 5 minutes and making everything better, make everything right. A tear had fallen as he'd left, and he wasn't pulled from his hope, his thoughts of Eren returning, until his desk started to ring. That in itself set him in a confused state as he didn't have a phone on his desk. His phone was back at their apartment... no... it was his apartment again now.

Levi turned slowly, looking at his computer, seeing the screen blank and the computer turned off. The ringing persisted, and he headed over, looking on top of the desk, then searching the draws. He finally found the source in the bottom draw, the wristwatch he never wore, always making Eren wear his so he didn't have to have the hassle of trying and failing to use it. He began hitting buttons, finding the button to accept the call and he soon heard Hanji's voice. 

_"Thank fuck for that. Where the hell are you?! Wait, why are you answering this?"  
_ "I answered because it was ringing."  
 _"Yeah but, I thought this was a long shot, you weren't at home, you weren't at any of the usual places, I was getting worried something had happened."  
_ "I'm in my office." There was a pause, clearly, he'd been right. The last place they'd look. Eren, after all, knew where he was because of their connection thanks to the contract.   
_"Have you been there all this time?"  
_ "Yeah... I came straight up here."  
 _"I'm on my way. Put the communicator on,"_ There was a click and she was gone, Levi doing as told and attaching the leather strap to his right wrist, leaving the left for his feather bracelet. 

He sat down heavily in his desk chair, adjusting it so the back rest went all the way back as far as it could go, and then pulled the lever to drop the seat closer to the floor, all the way until it stopped. He slouched, looking to the ceiling, knowing Hanji wouldn't take long to get here at all.


	27. Chapter 27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Next couple of chapters are going to be a bit jumpy, as I could not for the life of me tie them together better than I have done.  
> Please remem ber, this was converted from an RP thread by myself and Myst, and I don't have a beta reader so it's a little jumpy!  
> Gets better though, promise!

A week passed by before he could even think about it, So much had happened in such a short space of time, he was having trouble getting his head around it, and to be honest, that suited him fine. It allowed him to not have to  _ think. _

"Hanji..." He couldn't stop staring. Couldn't take his eyes off hers. "You... you didn't..."  
"Levi I had too, please, calm down,"  
"Why did you  _ have _ to?!" He was close to shouting now, he couldn't help it as he stood leaning against his desk.  
"Because we can’t ask people to do it while not having gone through it ourselves." He couldn't not stare at the greenish/blue addition to her face.  
"Why would you even need to ask people to do that?!"  
"Levi... Just, trust me on this." He frowned, looking down to his hands against the wooden desk, "please,  _ trust me. _ "  
"God damn it Hanji you fucking know I trust you." He looked up, sighing, "just... make sure you know what you're doing, ok? Promise me." She smiled, nodded once.  
"Cross my heart." She did the action, rolling on to her tiptoes and back as she did.   
"Such a dork."  
"You wouldn't want me any other way hunny bun." She smirked as she turned on her heel and headed out of his office. “You did this for  _ all  _ Nephilim, I'm just putting your gift into practice.”

She was right. He didn't want her any other way.

* * *

**_The Next Day_ **

"How are you feeling??" Levi was sitting on his sofa, leaning against the back of it, his upper arm on the back, head on his hand, looking at a very tired Erwin.  
"I should be asking you that question, Levi."  
"Come on, don't fuck with me. You show up here a day after..." He trailed off, taking a breath, "and sort my entire apartment out, rearrange shit about and then say it's because you were bored? I call bullshit. I've known you too long for you to lie to me." Erwin ran a hand down his face.  
"I  _ was  _ bored, Levi, I'm not used to this." Levi watched him with a slight side glance, the blond looking towards him. "I don't know how you do it"  
"Badly. You have to keep yourself occupied."  
"I know one way to keep myself occupied..." He saw the glint in his eyes and Levi smirked.  
"Yeah? Try it, see how many limbs you walk away with."  
"It's nice to see you more yourself, Levi." Said man stared at him, not speaking. "Ever since... you know." Most knew now not to speak of such incidents, to not even mention any names unless you wanted a black eye or worse. "You've not been yourself at all. And now, it's starting to come back. I miss the old you."  
"I wonder why..."  
"Hey, can you blame me?" They stared at each other for a moment, Levi's smirk turning into a smile.  
"We need to find you a hobby."  
"Work was my hobby, and before that, you were."  
"Yeah well, both of those are off-limits now. Suck it up, old man." And finally, Erwin laughed, looking away and standing, heading to the kitchen.

* * *

_**The Day After** _

"I can't believe this. I can't  _ believe _ this!"  
"Hanji will you calm down, your excitement is too much for 7 AM."  
"It should have been you! Why the hell did you decline?"  
"Shit, four eyes, honestly. I  _ just  _ woke up." They stood in the middle of his office, or at least Hanji was, Levi was half laid out, half sat on the sofa. He'd slept here.

"Why you sleeping here anyway?"  
"Because a spider was in my bedroom. Use your brain." Her face lost some of its excitement as he managed to pull himself up properly. She knew the reason and she was about to apologise for sounding so insensitive. "I declined it because I can't be doing with running a core."  
"But you’ve practically been doing that for the past few decades."  
"Exactly. Been there, done that. I just want to do my job, sleep, and repeat."  
  
"Well, I actually have a request." She sat down next to him, looking at him closely. "My first act as CO is making it mandatory for everyone to do what he did..." Levi shook his head, hand covering his eyes as he leant forwards, his tattoo in full view, Hanji's eyes looking to it briefly. "I wanted to see if you wanted to try first."~  
"Fuck me, Hanj, are you really asking me that?" He looked to her, still leaning forwards on to his arms, his elbows against his knees. There was disbelief in his eyes, and hanji looked startled for a second as if she was starting to realise what she was asking. "No, I fucking  _ don't  _ want to try. Don't fucking need to. It's been done for me by this handcuff of a contract." His left hand shifted, his thumb running absently over his ring finger under his hand.   
"I'm sorry I just thought, you know it might help ease the contract, the strain that it's causing you, and him for that matter."  
"Don't, Hanj, I don't want to think about that."  
"I'm sorry sugar, I just thought..."  
"I know, and I appreciate you thinking about me, but I can't go there. I'll help with your project, as that is clearly what this will turn into, but that's about all I‘m good for right now."

** _6 hours later_ **

"Marco volunteered." Levi sighed.  
"Jean?"  
"Won't let him do it alone."  
"I want to be there Hanji,"  
"Levi..."  
"No. I need to be there. I owe him everything after the past months. He was there for me, they both were, I want to return the favour." Hanji gave him a long stare, finally nodding, pulling him into a tight hug.

* * *

  
**_Present Day_ **

"Levi? It's time." He was wrapped up in his hunting jacket, it fastened up over jeans and his normal hunting boots, nodding to Hanji in the doorway. He followed her out quickly, heading to the floor which had been designated for Hanji's project in making Nephilim face their dark sides before it had a chance to consume them.

It wasn't long before he was pushing into the room, and he was determined to see it this time. Marco and Jean were already there, on matching cots a few feet apart from each other, Jean looking more worse for wear than Marco. Levi was by his side instantly. "Lance Corporal?"  
"I'm here to oversee."  
"You don't have to do that..."  
"I know I don't. I want to. I owe you. I‘m not letting this go south. I promise. You'll come out the other end of this, just fight it, and don't stop fighting it."  
"What if I can't...?"  
"What kind of shit question is that? Of course, you can. If you can't for yourself, you can for him. For everyone here that cares about you." Jean looked up at him, clearly getting frustrated, nodding at Levi who clapped a hand on his shoulder and moved away, heading to the far corner of the room, the one closest to Jean and leant there. He crossed his ankles, his arms the same across his chest, head bowed slightly as he felt Eren get ever closer to the room. Of course he was going to be there, it was idiotic of him to think he wouldn't be. Jean and Marco were his friends, he had every right in the world to be here right now. More so than he did, in fact, if anyone looked deeply into it, but he doubted they would, purely because of who he was and what he'd been through.

“It will be different for you than it was for Eren, he had a demon that was already awake and only separated from him by a barrier he could choose to break. You two will have to coax your demons out by focusing on every bad emotion you’re trying not to acknowledge.” Levi stared at Hanji as she explained what was about to happen. “And I mean  _ every _ bad emotion. It took me hours, so we could be here for a while.”

Could she be any more excited?? Actually no, he didn't want the answer to that. "Good luck." All the way through her explanation, he focused on breathing normally, refusing to look up in case he looked up and Eren was there watching him since he knew full well he was now in the room.

“You’ll be fine.” The voice was deciding, and he had to admit it was well done. Though the good acting Eren was doing didn't help his inner turmoil. If he weren't here, the whole room would have believed it. "You already know what you have to come back to. Just hold onto that and tough it out.”  
“Thanks.”  
“That’s easy enough for you to say. You already knew you were fighting to get back to Levi.”   
  
_ 'Just breathe, in and out, just... don't forget to breathe'  
  
_ “No, I wasn’t.” Shock ran through his body and it took all his will power to outwardly remain unfazed, knowing Eren knew full well how he was feeling, not able to stop the slither of pain that ran through him. “Levi had nothing to do with it, and Levi wasn’t the reason I won. Levi was the reason that I nearly  _ lost _ .”  
“What?!” Thank fuck that Jean had beat him to speech. The pain now running through his body, his hands clenching around his elbows as his left eye twitched at the corner, trying desperately not to listen. And still, he refused to look up for even a second.  
“I focused on him when I shouldn't have done, and it was only used against me. Levi is not the beginning and the end of my world, Jean. I had a family to come back to, not just him. A room full of people who were concerned for me, who I couldn’t let down. And so do you. Both of you. Don’t let go of that.”

So that was it, was it? He was no longer any kind of family to Eren? He'd assumed they were just taking a break, to clear their heads, but this felt more, it felt so much worse. They weren't together anymore in the slightest, according to how Eren was speaking. His existence caused him to almost lose against the Demon? He'd been no support whatsoever? It just silently reinforced the few things the demon had said that had stuck in his mind.  
  
_ It's always your fault.  
  
_ “Jean, if you need him, you look for me. I’ll try to bridge the gap, because if nothing else you’re stronger together and anything’s worth a try. You too, Marco.”

He was trying, and he was trying to do everything he could to make sure these two came back from this. Came back whole and complete. It warmed the shattered pieces of his heart that were trying desperately to hold themselves together. 

“See you on the other side.”  
“Yeah. I.. I’ll be waiting, Jean.”

The words were so familiar, ringing in his head as he finally looked up, his eyes on Jean as his eyes closed, as he began the struggle. He pointedly refused to look between the two, his eyes sliding to Marco. He couldn't predict who would come out of this first, but he was leaning towards Marco. He seemed to have the better attitude to handle this, but guessed they'd be here hours.

He was entirely shocked, when ten minutes later, Marco's eyes opened, the colour akin to Hanji’s, panting heavily and looking to the ceiling. That was fast. Even Eren wasn't that fast and he had his demon already in control. Something didn't seem right, Jean hadn't even twitched yet. His eyes slid back, a frown on his face, Hanji looking to him as she circled the bed, seeing his tense posture and clear frown as she knelt beside Marco quickly, checking him over before moving again. 

While Jean continued his internal struggle Levi's mind began to wander, eyes looking to the ceiling, no one else seeming worried about Marco waking up as quickly as he did, so he put it to the back of his mind, choosing to not think about it. His head tilted as his eyes looked up, shifting slightly as he rolled his shoulders carefully.

He needed to stay in this room. He wanted to show his support. He wanted to help in any way he could, even if it wasn't as much as Eren was trying to help. He couldn't just walk away from this, his own internal struggle starting to happen as he tried to not think about Eren's words from earlier, trying not to accidentally tug at the connection, not wanting him to hear his internal cursing of the brat sitting near to Jean. 

Had everything been meaningless? Had everything gone to shit from day one? He felt like he'd been pushed out the door and had it slammed shut behind him. His soul had already been ripped out of him, his heart shattered, but it felt like his heart was going to get ripped out by the end of this. Eren's words still ringing in his head loud and clear  
  
_ 'Levi was the reason that I nearly  _ **_lost_ ** _.'  
  
_ He was the reason he'd almost lost himself to his darkness. He flinched visibly, eyes looking back to the floor, head tilting down and he changed his ankles, crossing his left over his right now, trying not to think that such behaviour would cause him to get punished, trying and succeeding on the most part, to not think about a knife slicing the feathers off his wings.

He barely moved, for the hour and a half that it took Jean to come back to himself, internally cursing himself, Eren, the demon, the legion, the angels, everything he could curse he was cursing. He ended back upon himself, telling himself this was all his fault. They wouldn't be here now if he hadn't been weak; if he hadn't been recruited; if he'd have seen the signs sooner, had been able to fight.

He saw the smoke pull out of Jean and he watched with bated breath as it resolved itself and headed back in. 

“It’s okay, Eren.” he paused in his thoughts as he heard Marco’s voice, seeing Eren let go of Jean's hand and replace it with Marco’s. “I know he doesn’t say it but you mean a lot to him.”  
“No.. we might have had a few drunken nights but you mean everything to him. Much more than I never did. It’s you he’s going to want to see. I’m alone now. There are more important things to move onto.”  
  
_ 'I'm alone now.'  
  
_ The words cut deeper than he wanted them too, his eyes trained on Jean right now, not wanting to look at Eren, not wanting to open that door and let everything come rushing out. It hurt even more, when his eyes flicked up as Jean reached and grabbed and pulled the freckle-faced man towards him, kissing him passionately. Levi’s heart finally broke, causing him to lose control and to look up finally at Eren, who wasn't looking at him, but walking over to Armin and Mikasa. 

"You won’t see me for a while. Mikasa and I have to leave.” Leave? The fuck was he leaving for? And why the  _ hell _ did he still care?!  
“What’s going on, Eren?”  
“I’m replacing Annie. Now we know we can do this, I’m going to bring her back and prove that we don’t have to fight anyone on the Legion side of this war if we can get them to listen. They were all Nephilim once.”  
“When are you coming back?”  
“Probably a couple of days, I don’t know.” Bullshit. Utter. Fucking.  _ Bullshit. _ He pushed off the wall, watching from where he was stood, arms falling to his sides. "We have to find Annie first.”  
“Alright... I guess I’ll see you soon then. Stay safe, both of you. We’ll keep close watch over these two dorks to make sure they’re okay.” 

Not even a look, not even a glance. He didn't know what hurt more, that or the words he'd spoken to Jean. He relaxed finally, as Eren and Mikasa left. What the fuck was Hanji thinking? How the hell could she even  _ consider _ sending him with Mikasa?! "Levi...?' Hanji’s voice.  
"Don't. Just, don't." He didn't look at her, just held her hand up to him, moving across to Jean and Marco. Slender fingers, now the two were apart, took hold of Jean's chin making him look up at him, inspecting the eyes, grey soon flicking to Marco's, still holding Jean's face gently in his fingers so he couldn't look away. "How do you feel?"  
"Fine.. I think... myself, at least, sir." He stared at him for a few moments, his fingers releasing Jean's face and heading towards the door.   
"Hanji, I'll be in my office." And he was gone, leaving the room without another glance at anyone.


	28. Chapter 28

_**March 2nd - The next day** _

"I can't believe you agreed to this!"  
"Levi,"  
"I can't believe you even  _ considered _ it!!"  
"He was persuasive." Hanji had her heads raised as she cornered Levi at home, Erwin currently sat looking between them on the sofa.

" _ Persuasive!?" _ He was shouting and it made Erwin stand, clearly wanting to intervene in any way he could to stop a fight Levi had been gearing for all day. "How could you let him go?!"  
"He wanted to try and turn Annie back! He wanted to see if it could work the other way!"  
"And what if he fucking gets found out?! If both of them get caught in Legion infested cities!?"

"He won't Levi, have a little faith." He took a deep breath, looking to Erwin, who smiled a reassuring smile at him. "I can't take this. I can't do it. I'm done." He couldn't deal with Hanji's betrayal, because that's exactly how he saw it. She'd let him go without a second thought because her innate curiosity wanted her to find out the same information that Eren wanted to know. He looked away from Erwin, to Hanji. "Get out. I can't deal with this right now."  
"Levi..."  
"No. Just... go." She hesitated, looking to Erwin and then back to Levi, sighing and heading for the door, both males watching her leave.

"That wasn't very professional."  
"I don't care. She shouldn't have let him do this."  
"It would have been his choice, Levi, and you know full well when that boy makes his mind up there's no stopping him." Levi sighed, shaking his head. He did know that, he knew it first hand. This was clearly no different. "He'll come back, he will."  
"Sure, Erwin." He nodded a little, knowing full well that Eren had no intention of coming back, but he pushed that from his mind, for now, wanting to just get changed and go to bed, even though he was having trouble sleeping here, now, given wherever he looked he was reminded of Eren, of the demon, of everything that had happened. He ended up tossing and turning the entire night, waking several times to a nightmare that tortured his mind, barely remembering it as his eyes darted around the room.

* * *

_**March 4th** _

He entered his office, looking tired and exhausted thanks to not sleeping. Though, he stopped short as he saw Erwin sitting behind his desk with booted feet on the edge of the polished piece of furniture. "I really hope you plan on cleaning that."  
"Only if you sit down and eat with me."  
"Eat?" He started unclasping his jacket, soon taking it off and hanging it up behind Erwin, the blond looking to the desk at two containers.   
"Breakfast."  
"It looks far too greasy for this time of morning."  
"There's salad on it?" Levi rolled his eyes and grabbed one of the containers plus half the stack of napkins Erwin had brought with him, taking the coffee with his name on it while he was at it.

As much as he'd argued and fought with Erwin, he couldn't anymore. He didn't have it in him to fight any longer. With anyone. And these days Erwin never gave him a reason to. If he needed company, he was always there and not in any way that Levi had to punch him to get him to back off, just keeping him company so he didn't go stir crazy in Eren's absence. 

Today was the next set of Nephilim going in for the battle against themselves. Levi had offered to be there, to help out, but Hanji had said he hadn't needed to be, Armin having taken up that seat next to her. He always knew the mushroom hadn't been one for hunting, for killing demons. His skills were always ones that helped. He wasn’t a killer.

He and Erwin had soon finished eating, his former boss saying he was heading back to Levi's while the short male went downstairs. The Nephilim being who he was told him to make damn sure he cleaned his office desk before he went. That had received a laugh, but he'd gone to start, nonetheless.

He was soon heading towards the rooms in which Hanji was using, seeking her out and setting himself up behind the glass wall that Hanji had monitors behind to capture the room. He set himself down for the long haul, kicking his feet up onto the table with all the cameras, seeing Armin in the room with Hanji setting up a pair of Nephilim, tying them down and making sure they weren't able to move.  
  
  
It took them 4 hours in total, both going through the same process that Jean had gone through and it started to put him on edge. Why hadn't Marco gone through this part of the process? Why hadn't he gained the black smoke rising above him? Why hadn't it sank back through the air and soaked into his skin? It wasn't right, wasn't right at all, and he didn't want things to go wrong between the two, not as wrong as it had gone for Eren and himself.

"It's going so well!" Hanji exclaimed happily as she entered the room with Armin, sitting down next to him, Armin on his other side in the free chair.  
"Yeah..."  
"What?"  
"Bodt didn't get the smoke."  
"Might not be definitive."  
"4 out of 5, Hanji."  
"That's not enough to get complete and total evidence."

He stared at the screen, replaying the point in which the female gained smoke above her, coalescing before sinking through the air and into her body again. It was bugging him, bugging him that it hadn't happened to Marco, eating away at the back of his mind.

He'd not shown any signs that anything went wrong, maybe that's just how it happens to some people. Not everyone might have to have it sink back into their body. It was a fast process for Marco, it might not have needed to."  
"Lance Corporal, he's a strong individual, he can withstand an awful lot," Armin reassured him from beside him, rewinding the tapes to the beginning.  
"The cute fungus is right, Levi." Ok, that made him smirk, just purely for Armin's flustered reaction. "It might not happen like that with everyone. Marco is a strong kid,"  
"Mhmm."

* * *

_**March 9th** _

He entered the coffee shop carefully, slipping through the door looking rather tired as his eyes scanned the room. He spotted Jean on his own, it being the only face he knew in the swarming, warm little shop. He headed to the counter and joined the queue, pulling out his wallet, and looking over to Jean again, seeing the mug he was staring into was empty, given how he was spinning it on it's base. "Levi!" He was next in line, Sasha beaming at him happily, "not seen you here in a while. How's it going?"

"It's... going. Mocha latte and whatever Jean had last." Sasha nodded, glancing to Jean and going about making the drinks after taking the cash Levi held out. 

He headed to the end, awaiting the drinks and was quick to take them as he headed over to Jean, seeing the man look up and look puzzled at the drinks, especially when one was placed in front of him. "Lance Corporal..."  
"Please, Levi. We aren't in that building and right now, I doubt I'm anyone's boss." Not even a smile as Jean looked to the drink, the empty mug still in his hand. "You either take that, or I'll force it down you. Don't think I won't." He caught Jean's eyes in a stare that clearly told him to try and say no. Jean clearly got the hint as he placed the empty mug down on the other side of the table, pulling the mug on the small saucer towards him, picking up the spoon on the side of it. "Thanks, I guess."  
"Good things do still happen."

"Yeah..." Levi crossed his legs under the table as he took his jacket off and laid it on the booth seat next to him. "How are you, Jean?  
"Fine.. yeah..." Levi looked over to him as his fingers hit the rim of the glass. That reaction was too practiced. He knew the words all too well.  
"Jean, there's no wrong answer to that question. Drink." He did, almost instantly, Levi's frown becoming more prominent. He scrutinised him, looking over his form, seeing the tiredness, the lack of concentration. He'd seen this look in the mirror. "Talk to me."  
"I thought I was."  
"Don't be a smartass brat, Kirstein." Jean looked up to him, a frown on his face. "How are you,  _ really _ ?" 

"I'm..." He waited, taking a small drink from his glass, not looking in Jean's direction to try and help the situation. He didn’t want to make him feel like he was put on the spot, hell, he even checked his wrist for any messages from Hanji. "I'm... _tired_..." Levi looked back to him there, seeing the other looking at him.   
"Tired?"  
"Yeah..."  
"Are you eating ok?" The hesitation and the glance away was all he needed. He couldn't force him to eat, he knew that, hell, he _still_ wasn't eating right yet. He didn't want to see Jean get that far though.   
  
"How long have you got?"  
"Not long... I've... Marco, he'll be back soon."  
"He's meeting you here?" Jean nodded, Levi looking to the door. He didn't want Marco to find him with Jean. If what his thoughts were true and Marco wasn’t himself, then Marco was going to know that Levi knew what Jean was currently going through. "Don't lie to him..." His voice was quiet, as his eyes looked at his drink.  
"What?"  
"It'll only make it worse."  
"Nothing is wrong, Levi."  
"Bullshit." He looked up, a stern look on his face, Jean flinching slightly. "You know what I've just been through Jean, don't think you can fool me. Fuck, I'm still not right. Don't let yourself get to this level of fucked up shit that you can't pull yourself out of. I won't let that happen, Jean. You've done too much for me." Clearly, he was done beating around the bush. "Just tell him that I was just enquiring as to yourself and Marco's well being, wondering if you both wanted to hook up for food one night this week in response to the thanks and gratitude that I have for you. Do you understand me?" Levi saw his eyes widen as he spoke, his voice level and calm. He saw him nod slightly, "good." He lifted his glass to his lips again, leaning back against the booth seat, holding his drink near to his lips after he'd swallowed.  
  
"Though that does still stand, I am eternally grateful for you standing by my side even when I gave you every reason not to."  
"Levi, it's fine, really,"  
"No, Jean, don't downplay it. I am grateful, and I always will be. If you ever need anything, you know where to find me. You know that, right?" He felt like he didn't have anyone left, and he'd be damned if he was losing another person to this shit storm of a situation.

Jean looked at him, offering him a smile and Levi finished off his drink, placing the empty glass down carefully on to the table, fingers coming up to wipe at his lips gently. "Thank you, Levi."  
"Yeah yeah, you're welcome. Don't make me haul your ass to Hanji, because I'll do it."  
"I know you will..." Levi nodded a few times, looking around the shop with an uninterested expression.

He was surprised he'd even been able to come back here, after all this time. The last time he was here, he was with the demon and sat four booths down in the back corner enjoying Valentine's Day together. Actually felt happy about it, actually enjoying himself in the Nephilim's absence. It made his heart clench as he thought about it, pointedly not looking in that direction. "You really have been there, haven't you??" He looked to Jean, raising an eyebrow, waiting for him to elaborate. “Sorry... but I mean., you really do mean it, don't you?"  
"I wouldn't have wasted breath if I didn't." He looked away as he spoke, rolling his shoulders slightly as he watched Connie cleaning tables as people left. He planned on keeping Jean company until Marco appeared. He needed a read on the freckled Nephilim and he needed to know how Jean reacted to it. He had to know how far this had gone, how much he needed to fix. Because fuck if he wasn't going to fix this. He owed it to the pair of them. He owed it to himself to fix it, not having been able to fix it when it happened to him, and he'd be forever annoyed, saddened, and disappointed in himself for that.

Half an hour passed them by, with idle talk about nothing and meaningless shit Levi would end up not remembering until Marco stepped through the door. Levi was looking at Jean as it happened and he saw the man stiffen, his hands gripping the half drank coffee that Levi had brought him after he'd finished the first. Grey eyes looked around to see Marco, happy-faced and walking over. "Lance Corporal! It's nice to see you out and about."  
"Bodt,"  
"What brings you here?" He slid into the seat next to Jean, and he saw the other relax considerably. Was Marco going through the same process as Eren, he looked to Jean, mismatched eyes getting caught within his own steel grey and he smiled, he could sense nothing else other than Jean's posture telling him he was at ease.  
"I thought I'd see how you and Jean were doing. It has been a while since I saw you both."  
"He invited us to go eat one night this week."  
"Really?"  
"You seem shocked, freckles."  
"It's just... no disrespect, sir, but why?"

"You both helped me when I needed it most. I'm not one to take that lightly. I owe you both and you both need to eat, until I find a way to return the favour." His eyes looked directly into Marco twin coloured orbs. "Anything. If you need  _ anything _ , I'm here."   
"Th-thank you, really." They shared a look for a few moments, before Levi looked away, to his jacket as he grabbed it.   
"I need to go see Erwin, he's running rampant with my apartment."  
"How's he doing? With no work..."  
"Dreadful. He keeps rearranging my things." He stood, rolling his eyes. "Apparently he's bored. He needs a hobby that isn't feng shui.”  
"I'm sure you'll think of something, Sir."  
"Yeah yeah, drink your coffee Jean," as he spoke he put his jacket on, turning around and heading out the door, giving a glance back to see Jean looking happily sappy at Marco. Had he looked like that? Had that been what everyone saw on the outside for him and Eren when the demon was in control? He sighed, pushing the door open and heading out quickly into the cold.

* * *

**_March 10th_ **

"Something is wrong. It's not right."  
"Levi, you're jumping to conclusions." Hanji was sitting behind her desk, Erwin's former desk, looking at him as she pushed her glasses up her nose slightly.   
"Don't even dare say that to me Hanj. You dismissed me once, don't make that mistake again." They stared at each other for a good minute, Hanji looking at him with a solemn expression, Levi's desperate. "Please Hanji, you have to listen to me."  
"Levi I'm sorry. Until he shows outward signs that something has gone wrong, I can't do anything. It'd hinder everything I'm trying to do here."  
"What  _ is it _ you are trying to do, bar the obvious? What is more important than their safety?"  
"Levi you know I can't tell you that, not yet."  
"Bullshit!" His hands clenched into fists and he headed towards the door, ignoring her cries of his name for him to come back.

* * *

**_March 12th_ **

Levi hadn't been able to get it out of his head, that Marco's transformation and conquering of his demonic nature hadn't happened like everyone else. Hanji was on 12 now, including Eren, and still, only Marco hadn't had the smoke rise out of their body.

He'd not been able to catch the other out yet, not been able to catch him in the act of being remotely demonic. It had taken it out of Eren, to mask his eyes, and Marco didn't seem tired in any way. Jean on the other hand...

He'd started to notice the signs, see the way he was acting and he didn't want this to go any further. Hell, he'd even taken them both to dinner and spent the night at their place, just to see if Marco would drop the mask just a little. But he hadn't, and he couldn't sense anything bar the light and strength of the Nephilim light within him. 

And that  _ irritated _ him.

* * *

**_March 15th_ **

He was starting to crack, starting to get to the point where he couldn't push Eren from his mind with mindless work. He'd never spent so much time at the office, having finished 90% of his paperwork, plus all the backlog he'd built up over the weeks. Hell, he'd even took a stab at Hanji's, and that was what prompted her to politely say, 'get the fuck out and rest,' just hours ago before she'd gone to meet Armin.

He leant back in his chair, it creaked slightly as he spun on it so he was facing the floor-length window behind him, looking out over the dark city. It was starting to rain and that wasn't helping his mood. 

Levi's armour was starting to crack, and it was getting to the point where he couldn't just keep the military mask up in place without it doing more harm to him and how he was feeling. 

He was still reeling from the feelings that had bled through from Eren sheer frustration earlier in the day. He'd been doing everything he could to push that connection down because even distance wasn't dulling it, it was still as strong as it had been when they were side by side.

All week, it had been going downhill, his self-control on it straining to the point that it wasn't able to take it, and he didn't think it was long before he cracked completely and he was screaming telepathically for Eren to come home, to return and stay with him. But he didn't want to ask, otherwise he would have already. He didn't think Eren wanted to be here, didn't think he wanted him in the slightest anymore, so why bother asking when he knew the answer would be no? Or worse, complete and total silence.

* * *

**_March 19th_ **

"You work far too much."  
"Says you, four eyes."   
"No I mean it Levi, you do." She knocked back the drink in her hand and flagged down the bartender, gesturing for Levi to do the same with the whiskey in his hand. He did. Without hesitation. "You never work this much. Like... Ever... Not even when you were with Erwin." The bartender placed two drinks before them, and they grabbed the respective glass, Hanji's going straight to her lips.  
"Didn't have to work then, Hanj. All I had to do was get on my knees and the work was taken care of." Suddenly, she was wearing the bright pink liquid in the glass along with the bar they were sat at, coughing loudly and hitting her chest.  
  
"Fuck me Levi,  _ really? _ While I'm  _ drinking?? _ " He smirked, knocking back his drink in one and flagging the bartender again. It wasn't busy, it being midweek, so he didn't feel bad for it.  
"Aint really my type, specs."

They were drinking far too much and far too quickly. They'd started early, having gone out for a meal together, then Hanji getting him drunk as fast as she could, mixing drinks and even ordering two and mixing them together before handing it to him. He had to admit, it tasted incredible, and he wasn't one for cocktails. 

"Thing you gotta do... is like... relax."  
"I don't relax well."  
"You gotta  _ try _ man. You don't  _ need  _ a perky tall, long-haired hottie to help you relax." Hanji, being rather drunk, hadn't stopped to think about Eren, hadn't stopped herself any time she mentioned him. It was chipping away at the barrier he'd placed on the whole subject that was Eren Jaeger. Not that that wall was decent at keeping anything out, of course. He'd been swindling all week to this point.

"Hunny, we gotta go. It's nearly midnight."  
"Awww come on Sugar, one more drink."  
"We said that 9 drinks ago." He stood as he spoke, wobbling considerably. No way was he going to make it home. Walking, shifting, flying or otherwise. He threw his card on to the bar as Hanji downed her shot glass, Levi doing the same with the whiskey in the glass, slamming it down on the bar and letting Hanji use his card to pay their tab off. He didn't want to think about how much that bill would be.

They struggled, both ending up at HQ given it was a few blocks away and closer than both their apartments. He left her on the floor with spare living quarters, heading to the elevator and ending up in his office 10 minutes later.

Levi sat down heavily in his desk chair, his world spinning as he looked out the window on to New York City, where the people that lived here were still thriving and going about their business, even at nearly 1AM. 1 in the morning... really? Wow, it had taken them forever to get here. Though why stop now? He grabbed the crystal bottle from his desk with a glass after pulling his boots and socks off, turning on the small lamp on his desk before heading towards the sofa, falling down on to it and looking towards the wall in which was completely glass. It was the best feature of his office, and why he refused to give it up, even though he barely used to spend any time here. 

His mind started to drift, starting to let the wall break and crumble. Which didn't take long, it was a shitty wall and it didn't need to be there. It just meant that now, his feelings weren't hidden in the slightest, he wasn’t denying them and the need to see Eren was slowly bubbling to the surface as he poured the drink into the glass, ending up filling the short crystal tumbler with the amber liquid, instead of the two fingers worth he normal poured at a time.

He wanted to see him, wanted him to come home so badly, thinking nothing more than what would happen if he were here. Just for a day, a night. Fuck, an hour would suffice. Though he didn't feel like he could watch the other walk away from him, not again, not for a third time.

He sighed, downing the liquid, half an hour passing of him refilling his glass, the crystal bottle emptying steadily, it soon ending up on the floor as he stared out onto the web of lights covering New York’s streets. He pulled his legs up onto the sofa, curling up at the end of it, half asleep in his drunken, needy state, his mind thoroughly on the sea green eyes that Eren used to have, wanting nothing more than to look in to them again and see the depths of his soul, see his heart and his mind as to just feel whole again. Because he really didn't, and he felt like he never would again as he looked to his right wrist, seeing the collar there, wrapped around his wrist a few times, a chain wrapped around and through the loops thanks to Hanji's forced addition. Levi had been wearing it for the last few days, having wanted another piece of Eren close by to him, trying to satisfy the need to see him with material objects. He couldn't go back to his apartment, planning to stay here for however long he needed, even if the sofa did screw over his body to the point where he needed a good working over.

And oh look, Eren back in his mind, his body against his own and it made him ache in a way he'd not ached in months, not properly. “Levi.” He hadn't even noticed, hadn't even sensed Eren shifting into his office, too drunk to notice anything bar his own feelings right now. At least he'd found a way to stop feeling everything Eren was feeling, he supposed. His eyes looked round slowly, his head turning with the gaze, his eyes meeting the mismatched colours of green and gold. And he found he didn't care. Eren was standing here, watching him, in one whole, amazing piece. And he couldn't be happier with how safe and sound that Eren seemed. “You.. wanted to see me. So here I am. You shouldn’t be drinking alone.”

"I didn't ask you to come." His words were slightly slurred as he looked away, eyes tearing slightly, but blinking away the moisture as he turned his back to the city picture out his window. "I can drink alone if I want to. No one here to stop me." He raised his glass to his lips, taking a small sip before resting his arm against the arm of the sofa, fingers shaking slightly around the rim of the glass as he bordered on too drunk to be coherent. "Not like I have reason to be sober right now."

Eren could do nothing but stand and stare and forget to breathe. It had been three weeks since this sight had last been in front of him, and now that it was here, now that he'd been stupid enough to let himself give in to this urge, he knew neither of them was going to be leaving anytime soon.

Because all he could feel from Levi right now was intoxicated numbness and a lust for how they used to be. In that instant he could remember what it felt like to kiss him, to strip him of everything and watch him fall apart. Hell, it was almost enough to make  _ him _ feel drunk by proxy, and he hated to think how much alcohol was in Levi's system right now. Because he'd been privy to a familiar scene to this himself - only he was the person drinking himself to sleep because of an absence that he couldn't ignore, a hole in his heart that only one person could patch up when that person no longer came close enough to reach out for.

"Don't do this to yourself, Levi. Please." his voice was a scratchy whisper as his eyes misted over, half with tears and half with his second-hand fog of drunkenness. "Nothing good comes from drinking yourself to sleep every night. It doesn't change anything. I drank enough over you to know that."

"Fuck... Drag that back up why don't you?" He necked the half glass of whiskey, grabbing the bottle from the floor and heading back to his desk, shaky and wobbly as he placed them down clumsily on the surface near his keyboard, standing with his back to Eren. "It's not like I drink like this every fuckin' night. You'd know that if you'd have stuck around. Sure your  _ family  _ would have relayed the message to you." Not that he was bitter or anything, because he'd vehemently deny it if anyone said he was.

He was starting to wish he hadn't drank, or hadn't drunk half as much as he had, he'd lost count after drink 20. Levi shook his head slightly, leaning against his desk and trying to clear his mind of the images he picked up from Eren, forcing his eyes open to look at his glass next to the bottle, sighing loudly.

"Getting jealous, are we?" he snapped back, across the few steps worth of space between them and wrapped his hand around Levi's upper arm to pull him around as though he weighed nothing at all, sandwiching the older Nephilim against the desk with his hips with his face inches away from Levi's, green-gold gaze burning with fierce intensity. Because he knew exactly where that came from. That Levi was still bitter about the fact that he'd said those words to Jean - words that were the truth, that he thought were what Jean needed to hear in order to get him through his fight. 

A frown set in on his face, his hands instantly coming up to Eren's hips, eyes looking into the green-gold gaze, the frown softening slightly, but not vanishing completely. "A bit of territorial rage going on? Well doesn't that just remind me of someone."  
"How fucking dare you even compare me to that. I'm not yours, you made that damn clear, and I'm not butcherin’ ya for leavin’." He couldn't help the words, even though he felt Eren regretted his own, he couldn't help rising to them, even if he did regret saying them, this had been waiting to get off his chest for weeks, and it was finally being let out. "You don't get to do this either, anymore." He pushed, his strength weakened by alcohol, but still finding the strength to be able to push Eren off him enough to move to his left, away from Eren and towards the door.

As arms wrapped around his middle, pulling him back against Eren's chest, his hands went to the Nephilim's forearms. As hot breath ghosted across his ear he couldn't help the shiver that ran through him. "Why? Are you going to stop me? If kicking the shit out of me will help, I'll gladly get on my knees and let you do it. I did come back to  _ help _ you." His eyes closed, his head tilting back ever so slightly, his mind swimming with lust, need, a drunken haze heading through his bloodstream. "In any way you want me to." He licked his lips, breathing deeply through his nose.

"Only one way I'd want you on your knees  _ brat _ , ‘n’ you wouldn't stay there for long." His voice was breathy, his fingers tightening around Eren's forearms. "I didn't ask for your help." He tried to pull Eren's arms from around him, the Nephilim not letting it happen, the grip increasing as Levi looked down, eyes open and on Eren's limbs. "Get the fuck off me, Eren."  
"Or what?"  
"Really? Be demonic more by hurting me, Eren, that’s fan- _ fuckin’ _ -tastic."  
  


As fast as it had dissipated, the anger had returned and Eren dropped his hold then as if touching Levi burned and took several steps away from him again. He couldn't conceal the wave of revulsion that went through him at the comparison, and he made no attempt to. 

"I am not that  _ thing _ , and I never will be." he muttered, tone dangerously low with anger despite the fact it was still half drowned out by the lust, aching to touch and taste and  _ feel _ that was crowding out every other thought in his head. "Either you learn that now or I leave. I came because I can be halfway across the fucking country and still feel how wrecked you are. I came because  _ you _ asked me to."

This time it was Eren turning his back, because his hands were shaking and Levi's words had made him start to imagine how good it would feel to do exactly what the older Nephilim had inferred. To feel Levi twitching under him, to feel the pleasure thrumming through him, chasing everything away until he didn't have to think about going back to Mikasa and finding Annie and the fact that the morning even existed.

"Perhaps I only imagined that you might actually want me here." his voice nearly broke, but he was already at the point where he had no more tears to cry. Not again. "I should go, before this gets any worse." His hands were running through his scruffy hair now and he sighed, arms wrapping around his chest as his fingers skirted up and down his sides in a self comforting motion.

The words before the ones he spoke were somewhat comforting, the fact he'd never be the demon again. It soothed his mind, to know that that was over. "Then fucking go already. Probably how much I've drunk. Gettin’ your signals crossed. Sure Mikasa will be missing you." He sat down on the sofa, curling back up, eyes back on the window.

They both knew full well his words were a blatant lie and he couldn't hide that, he knew he couldn't, and it wasn't like he was trying. He could barely stand straight without being held upright, let alone try and push that connection away. His heart ached and his soul would as well if he had it, looking pointedly away to the wall the sofa was against to his right, eyes closed as he took a deep breath, not wanting to see Eren leaving a swirl of black smoke.

"Mikasa wants me to be here," he commented, shrugging. "She called me a coward and maybe she's right. Trying to give you space certainly hasn't helped if this is what it's causing. The only reason you aren't flinching at the sight of me is because you're drunk out of your right mind."

Once upon a time he might have taken Levi's words at face value, but not so much anymore. Now he was advancing on him with a predatory smirk as he crossed the room again and twisted him so his legs were over the edge of the couch, soon pushing him back until the backs of his knees hit the cushion and he slumped back onto it, a telltale shiver passed through both of them as their eyes locked.

"But I'm not going to waste it." It had been far too long for him to pass up this opportunity, and it showed in the intensity all but glowing in his dual coloured eyes through the darkness in the room. Their eyes locked, and he was captured. He couldn't bring himself to look away, to push Eren off, to end this right now by shifting away, not that he had much control of the ability, mind you. "And neither are you, S _ ir _ ."

The title made another shiver run through his body, his hands increasing their grip on Eren's body, his thumbs brushing against his neck slightly. His eyes fluttered at the roll of Eren's hips, his body aching, as his knees drew inwards, gripping Eren's hips. 

"Eren..." his voice was quiet as his eyes blinked slowly, grey staring up into the mismatched gold and green. He swallowed thickly, trying to see through the drunkenness that had taken over his mind. "Shit..." Eren rolled his hips again, their lips inches apart, all Levi had to do was lift his head and that was that, the kissing would ensue and he'd be screwed into the sofa into a sex coma he hoped would last the night. If this happened, he wanted fucking senseless and he guessed Eren would know that all too well right now. 

A few moments passed them by, his eyes flicking down, finally, to Eren's lips, his hands moving to where they were resting, They snaked around Eren's neck and pulled him in quickly, though clumsily as their lips sealed together and his eyes fluttered closed, thanking the stars he hadn't missed.

Levi's legs went up and around Eren's waist as his back hit the sofa cushions, the other leaning over him and capturing his lips as he snaked his arms up around his neck, hands threading through his hair, his mind thoroughly blank to everything but this as his eyes closed and all he could feel was Eren all around him.

A few moments passed, the kiss getting steadily more intense before Levi’s hands pushed either side of Eren’s face upwards. Slender fingers ghosted across the teen's lips, settling there as he lifted his eyes to look at Eren’s. “This is wrong.”   
“Then I really don’t wanna be right, Levi.” He couldn’t help but smile at that, head dizzy with drink and Eren.   
“I can’t, Eren.” Eren’s eyes closed as his lips pursed, kissing the pads of Levi’s fingers. “Not like this.”  
“I know.” Eren could clearly sense that Levi was uncomfortable, not wanting to do this while he was so drunk and vulnerable. “Hang on.”   
“What?” Eren moved slightly, hand holding the side of Levi’s neck securely.   
“Sleep, you’ll feel better in the morning.” It was like a switch was flipped in his brain, unable to disobey the words as his eyes started feeling heavy. Eren hadn’t meant to do that, but it was what was best for him. He just hoped he’d be able to get them to their…  _ his  _ apartment in one piece and in the right room.

Levi soon slipped away and his head rolled to the side as sleep took him. Eren carefully wrapped his hands gently around Levi's back and cradled his neck against his shoulder, wings wrapping around him in an extra effort to keep him warm as they disappeared in a swirling haze of smoke. True enough, his aim was absolutely shot and they reappeared in the kitchen, Eren swaying with exhaustion, and pointedly refusing to look in the direction of the kitchen counter because all the shifting over the space of a few hours plus the dizziness from Levi's intoxication and the fatigue had thoroughly tired him out. Still, he managed to make it to the bed that was no longer theirs, his mind going blissfully blank with the need to sleep. He curled himself around Levi and pulled the coverlet up over both of them, still refusing to think about what would happen in the morning.


	29. Chapter 29

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Last of the skipping is here. There's a small one in the next chapter, but that'll be over as I didn't want the next bit adding on to this.   
> I hope, if anyone is still reading this, that you are enjoying it.   
> It's nearly at a close :) .... I think.   
> Levi may have other plans.. xD

His eyes blinked open slowly, his mouth opening to a yawn, his hands coming to his face as he did so, rubbing at his eyes blearily. He looked towards the bathroom, hearing a shower and feeling Eren in the bathroom. He was still here.

He licked his lips, body feeling disgusting, needing a shower himself. Maybe Eren wouldn't mind him heading there as well...

He forced himself to take his clothes off, his body aching and his head thudding with the sounds. He grabbed a clean towel and wrapped it around his waist, heading to the door and pushed it open slowly. "Eren? I'm coming in."

He heard the shower turn off, and soon a dripping wet Eren appeared out the shower cubicle, quick to grab a towel and pull it around his waist.

"Sorry.. I shouldn't still be here." Eren muttered, running his hands through his damp hair and hoping against hope that Levi would just ignore the sight of the water dripping down his skin, because he knew that if he didn't he knew that the moment Levi touched him all desire to leave would drop away as though it had never been there, just as sure as he knew that the sun always set in the west and that gravity was the only thing keeping his feet to the floor. Even now he couldn't deny the fact that Levi had that much hold over him, and always would.

"No... No, Eren don't." His feet carried him quickly, his own towel being discarded on to the towel rack, his hands quick to find Eren's hips, pushing him back in the cubicle shower. The door closed behind him, his hands moving to find a wet torso and pushing, until Eren's back hit the tiles. "Don't leave. I can't watch you leave again. I can't. Don't ask me to." His head was bowed, eyes on the water slowly running trails from Eren's hair right down his body. He could feel the gilt from Eren and it made his own grow. Guilt that he wanted to keep him here and that the Nephilim before him didn't want to stay.

"You know why I have to leave." His tone wasn't accusatory in the slightest, just a gentle reminder. His actions directly contradicted himself, though, his hands settling with a feather-light touch on either side of Levi's neck to cup his face, directing his eyes up so that he couldn't avoid looking at Eren's as he melted into the touch. "I was trying to get out of here before you woke up so that this would be easier.. but I can't walk away from you like this." His tongue peeked out, swiping nervously across his lips as he studiously avoided allowing his gaze to flick to Levi's mouth and downward to the marks he'd left the night before, the deep red a harsh contrast to his pale skin things that would threaten to make him shudder for a whole different reason. "Neither of us should be doing this.. it's only been weeks and we aren't even close to ready."

"I can't watch you leave. And you won't let me do that. You're going to have to knock me out if you want to leave." His eyes opened, and he took a deep breath, grey flicking up to the gold-green that resided just above him.

He swallowed, a shiver ran through him at the sight. He still wasn't used to it, he still couldn't stop thinking about the gold gaze that had plagued him for months on end. But the green, if both his eyes looked to the green, he could feel the warmth, the welcoming soul that was just _Eren_. He could get used to the gold, could push the memories behind him in time. Levi knew it hurt now, tugged at his broken heart and mind, but it would just take time, and he felt like the more he saw it, the quicker it was going to be.

Eren's face twisted into an expression of bitterness almost instantly at the suggestion. He wasn't just going to abuse the connection between them like that. The only way he ever wanted to make Levi pass out was exactly the way he'd done it last night. He couldn't understand why Levi wasn't as angry at him as he had been when he initially showed up, why Levi was so desperate to try and keep him here when they both knew that this wasn't healthy.

"And if you want me to stay you're going to have to knock _me_ out," he replied, his voice a choked whisper but full of stubborn determination that so many people besides Levi had developed an attachment to him because of. "You should be angry with me, remember? I hurt you. Don't lie to me and tell me that you don't think about the things it did to you like it's no big thing, because it is. What happened changes _everything._ "  
"Eren for fucks sake.” He looked away, letting his hands slide off Eren's body, looking to the shower door. "Of course I'm angry, I can't hide that from you. I never could _before_ this fucking contract." Just the word made him shudder, never mind the thoughts that came with it. "I just want to fix this. If you leave we won't _ever_ fix this. You have no intention of coming back here again. If you didn't want this, you wouldn't have come to my drunken idiocy."

His head was pounding from the hangover that had been present from when he woke, but he was trying to see past it. He didn't want him to leave. Though it was nagging at him, that even though this wasn't a healthy move, his whole being was craving it, as if it were a learned behaviour he couldn't avoid.

He should have known that Levi would see through his words to Armin the day he left, but to hear him say it knocked the breath out of Eren's lungs. He didn't want to give this up, had no intention of giving this up in the longer term, but he still knew that he couldn't be here while Levi healed. Putting it into words in front of Mikasa had only served to solidify his conviction on that.

"What I want has never come before what _you_ need." he breathed, wanting desperately to just wave a magic wand and fix this crapsack situation for both of them. But he couldn't, and no amount of wishful thinking would change that. "And it never will." he'd moved forward now, his mouth inches away from Levi's as his gold-green eyes held Levi's in an inescapable stare, one hand slipping under his jaw to guide the older nephilim's gaze back to his. "You needed me last night, sir, so I came back to you. What you need me to do now is to give you time and space to heal, even if that's not what you want." He paused, running his fingers absentmindedly through his hair, ignoring his shiver in the cooling bathroom. 

He wanted nothing more than to have the hand that went through Eren's hair to be running through his own, to let his eyes slip closed as it happened. "Unless you can think of something you need more from me than that."

"I need you to feel fucking _whole._ " He pulled away, letting Eren's hand slip from him, his own from Eren's chest. He turned, fully planning on getting out of here and getting changed. "But if you can't fucking see that then fine. Fuck off back to where ever you came from if you think my _need_ is satisfied." He spat the words, if Eren said he should be angry, congratulations _brat_ , he was angry.

Letting out an annoyed sigh as he hastily made sure his towel was securely in place before he crossed the room in quick, easy strides. His hands snaked out to wrap around Levi's shoulders, pulling him back and turning him until he was facing the large mirror with Eren visible behind him. Hips pressed into Levi's to keep him sandwiched against the wood and marble countertop the sink was set into, hands splayed either side of it. Levi had tried to fight, three weeks was enough for Levi to start strengthening himself up again, but it wasn't enough to make him strong enough to compete with Eren, not yet, and they both knew it.

He could feel the anger coming off Levi in waves but he didn't care for it in the slightest, leaning down with his face turned away from the mirror as he nuzzled Levi's neck, his gold right eye the only one visible from their reflections as he fixed his gaze on Levi's face, mouth twisted into an eerily familiar possessive smirk that he knew how to fake to perfection.

"Have I not given you enough attention yet? Is that it?" 

The smirk that curled on to his lips didn't help matters either, his hands gripping the cool marble surface the sink was embedded in to. He could hear the nickname that Eren missed, and for all intents and purposes, Levi couldn't help but see the demon, see the past few months.

His body relaxed obediently, not being able to stop it as his mind went into a panic, even though he knew full well that Eren was baiting him with this, trying to get him to rise to it. It was a learned behaviour, to obey the gold that looked at him in the mirror, if he didn't, it only ended badly for him. He shook his head as his mind came back to its senses, telling him that time had passed, that the demon was no more. 

" _No_." Levi tried to push back against him but had limited movement being stuck between the sink and Eren’s front, especially with his grip on his hips. "Eren please, get off me."

Eren almost came to a complete stop at that small, frantic feeling he could sense as Levi desperately sought to remind himself there was no possible way that the demon half of Eren could have resurrected itself after what had happened... but he had to do this. He had to make this point, and this seemed to be the only way to do it.

He could feel the instinctual urge to relax and obey flood Levi's system at the sight of his gold iris and it was jarring, but he pushed it down, continuing to make sure that Levi couldn't move away from him and the sight he was being shown in the mirror. Instead, one of his hands curled around Levi's front and wrapped loosely around his neck, tilting his head back and forcing him to look at the golden gaze observing him with a hard-edged stare as he tried to turn his head away from the mirror to ignore it.

Levi had stopped breathing but not looking in the slightest, eyes to the wall next to the mirror. "Look at me, Levi. Breathe." The commanding tone broke his will, and he looked almost instantly, grey eyes on the golden one in the mirror, swallowing as his brain told him to breathe, taking in a slow, deep breath as he felt within him to make damn sure that it was still Eren, and all of this 'fighting the darkness' hadn't been for nothing. 

"Now do you understand? I can't stay here if every time you see gold your first instinct is to let me do whatever I want to you." he said sadly. "You belong to _yourself_ **,** not to me, or anyone else."   
"Eren..." He relaxed considerably once he could see both eyes. "It's not... It's not my first instinct..."  
"But it still happened. I felt you freeze up and have to check to make sure that.. _thing..._ hadn't come back." He replied, his grip on Levi loosening and both arms wrapping across his chest so Eren could hide his teary eyes against Levi's shoulder. "How are we supposed to repair what we have if we both still can't even trust ourselves? That's why I had to take over from Annie. One of us had to leave."

He hesitated, looking at their reflections in the mirror as Eren buried his face against his shoulder. His own hands were still gripping the counter. "Why couldn't you have just told me that? Instead of leaving the way you did."  
"Because if I had to talk to you about it, I'd have changed my mind. I had to just do it or I'd have been too weak to leave you."  
"I made you weak though, didn't I? I made you almost lose." He tried to pull away there, feeling water clinging to his eyelashes as he blinked furiously, looking at his hands attempting to pull Erens arms from him. "Seems fitting that you don't need me to help.

Eren blinked at him for a few moments before he thought back to what he'd said, and then realised how it must have sounded, his grip tightening on Levi again to stop him from pulling away before he'd heard his explanation. "It was using my attachment to you to hurt me, to make sure I lost, because it thought I was exactly the same as it was - that I couldn't see anything of the world past you. That was what I meant. I'm sorry that I didn't word it better at the time." he replied, now feeling twice as bad about saying it as he had before. "You can help me by getting better instead of worrying about me."  
"Word it better?" He frowned, hands gripping Erens forearms as he was held captive. "Saying that I'm not part of that family you had waiting? Saying that it's my fault you almost lost your battle? It's always my fault!" Anger had begun to bubble up within him now, feeling himself start to shake as he looked towards the floor. "I can't just wish to be better, Jaeger. The one person that can help me fucking walked out on me and took half of me with him."

It was all too easy to allow Levi's anger to misdirect him too, Eren having to take calming breaths and work his way back from it before he said the wrong thing. "Would you rather I have lost? Because if I did it wouldn’t have been for good. Would you rather have watched as it came back in my place and they had to execute me?" he hissed back, biting his lip and letting the anger bleed away from him so that he was completely calm. "I don't think you would, and I'm sorry. It wasn't your fault. I'm to blame for all of this."  
"No. Of course I wouldn't." He sighed, fingernails digging into Eren's arms, eyes closed now, his anger still under his skin. "It's my fault. It's always my fault. But you could have left better. Said goodbye, _looked_ at me before you walked out the door."  
"I could have.. but then I would have started second-guessing myself. If you'd tried to convince me to stay then, when I wasn't so sure, it might have worked." Eren replied, trying to feed some of his own inner calm out along the connection between them in the hopes that it would calm Levi down too. "I'm not as strong as I want to be."

"And you think I am?!" He felt Eren trying to help him calm down and he tried to fight it, but he wasn't strong himself anymore, it seeping into his body. "You just left me. Without a word. When you knew I wasn't right. I wouldn't have tried to convince you to stay and you damn well should know that. It was for a good cause. Not that you wanted me in the slightest. I'm obviously just good enough to fuck every now and then." He tried to get free again there, hands pulling Erens arms.

"I left because I thought Erwin and Hanji could help you well enough in my absence. I'm sorry if that was the wrong choice, but I can't change it now, can I? Even if I would." Sensing that he was getting somewhere with it, Eren kept up with the process of sending Levi calming vibes over their connection. "I want to make you better, to make you see how much more than 'good enough' you are, for anything, but I don't want to have to force the connection to do it. That's not the same as you healing on your own."

"I don't want to heal on my own. I don't have a ‘my own’ anymore." He stopped trying to free himself and resigned to the fact he was staying in the circle of Eren's arms, leaning back against his chest in an almost defeated fashion. "I don't have the family you have, Eren. They left like you are." He couldn't stop the few tears that fell from falling, hands resting atop the teens arms still, shaking slightly but his body not moving. "I can't do this on my own."  
  


Levi's pain stabbed through his calm, and tears were gathering at the corners of his mismatched eyes as he pressed a kiss to the back of his head before turning the older Nephilim around in his arms, picking up a familiar key off the counter and looking down at it.

"I'll come back, Levi. I promise I will." The words were soft and quiet. "When the job's done, I'll come back to you, and until then... well, my family would be yours too if you let them, you know. You're not alone."  
"Eren, don't lie to me." He'd opened his eyes as he was turned around, eyes on Erens chest. "We both know you have no intention of coming back."  
"I didn't, but that doesn't mean my intentions can't change. I'll come back when I'm done." Eren repeated. "And until then, I have something of yours that I need to give back to you." He held out the key, then, holding it up so that Levi could see it and take it off him.

His eyes directed towards Eren's hand as he held the ornate key up to him, Levi shaking his head. He didn't need a demonic reminder. "That's not mine."  
"It's yours. It came from the contract and I was hoping you'd keep it as a reminder of something important," he replied, fingers closing around the key a little tighter. "You still have your soul, Levi. I might be looking after it but it's still yours, and I'll never try to use it to control you, ever. If you're carrying that, then it's like you're carrying my soul with it too. Both had to be put on the line to make the contract, after all.. in a way..."  
"Eren..." He didn't know what to say, his eyes still on the gold key on the teen's hands. "I don't deserve it. I really don't." He shook his head as he spoke, looking up to Eren at last. "It's just a reminder of how much I failed the both of us."  
"Don't think of it like that," Eren replied, his other hand moving to gently stroke Levi's cheek. "It's not a question of deserving it. I accepted your soul and now I'm balancing the scales. All you have to do is value mine as much as I value yours. Keep it with you so I know where to come back to."

Levi looked to the key again, his hand coming up to take the top half of it into his fingers, not pulling it from Erens grip quite yet. "That's something I've got to relearn... But, I will... And you _will_ come back..." watery grey eyes looked towards Erens mismatched ones, settling on to the green instantly. "Right?"  
"I promised, didn't I?" he replied, closing his fingers around Levi's so that his hand closed around the key more fully. "You'll get there. A little bit at a time and without me getting under your feet."

His grip increased as Eren managed to make his fingers close around the smooth metal. "I still don't deserve you, not in the slightest."  
"I never have deserved you, either, so we're even. Let's not turn it into a competition we can't win." Eren replied, sensing that both of them were somewhat calmer again now as he took advantage of the fact that Levi was actually looking at him to steal a quick, soft kiss. "Was I interrupting you from something?"

His eyes closed as Eren gave him a quick kiss, opening once again to look down at his hand, the key clenched in his fist. "No... I was just going to shower. It can wait." He lowered his hand, adjusting his grip as he lowered it to Eren hip, his other mimicking the action. 

"Then I'll go make you some breakfast." A slightly sad look flickered over Eren's face because he knew Levi's shower would be the perfect opportunity for him to leave. Maybe the only one till he went to sleep. "Make it a long one, okay?"  
"Why? It doesn't take me long to shower, Eren."  
"Treat yourself to the extra hot water then," Eren replied, making full use of his puppy-dog-eyes look. "Gives me more time in the kitchen."

It didn't take him long to cave to the eyes, smiling slightly as he nodded. Moving away from Eren and watching him from the room, the door closing behind him. He placed the key carefully on to the counter next to the sink, before removing his towel and hanging it up, carefully stepping into the cubicle and turning the spray on. He did as Eren said, turning the water up a little higher than he normally would and let it work out all the knots across his body.

He stopped out about 30 minutes later, a towel around his waist and headed to his room. He tried not to look around too much as he pulled on clothes, soon heading to the kitchen. He saw a tented piece of paper on the counter, slim fingers scooping it up and opening it.

_'There's breakfast for you in the microwave. Make sure you sleep alright and stop drinking! I'll be back before too long. Love you! - Eren.'_

He should have known he'd leave. It was the perfect chance. He placed the paper down again, sighing as he went to the microwave to retrieve what Eren had made. 

* * *

**_March 23rd_ **

He was pacing, actually pacing. He never paced. He couldn't get Marco out of his head. Over the past few weeks, he'd been watching him and Jean like a hawk, though from a distance. He'd been in constant communication with the taller of the pair, constantly making sure that he was alright. He'd also finally managed to get Hanji to see that there was something not right with Marco and if he could prove it, her and her team that was still changing the Nephilim of their ranks would be on standby to assist him. 

It was just catching him in the act that he was having trouble with. He could see it plain as day now, and he'd even felt the aura once when he'd shown up unannounced, but the demon had managed to get the Nephilim to quickly take back the reins and he couldn't prove a damn thing because he hadn't _seen_ it. Jean's face said it all, but because he'd not seen the change happen, no one would listen to him. _Again._

That was why he'd settled on the conclusion of just _taking_ Jean away from him and draw him out that way. But it was just managing to convince Jean to go. If he was anything like him, and he guessed he was in this situation, he wasn't going to want to leave Marco willingly. Not unless he actually wanted 'punishment,' not that Levi would ever let that happen while Jean was with him. 

There had to be a way…

* * *

**_March 25th_ **

That was the last straw. No way in hell was he letting Jean suffer. Every time Marco moved next to him, even the slightest bit, he practically flinched. Dinner had been a good idea. The second Marco left, he was speaking, leaning on the table towards where Jean was sat directly in front of him. "You've got to go. Jean, please."  
"Levi I _can't_ ."  
"Yes, you fucking can. Jean, I can help you. _Let me help_ ."  
"No. I can't leave, I can't. He'll..."  
"He won't do shit, not on my watch. You'll be safe with me. I promise you that."  
"Levi, I can't."  
"Don't make me force you Jean, you're leaving tomorrow either conscious and willing or unconscious and being _dragged_ ." He hated to be so blunt, but they just didn't have time, Marco had only gone to the bathroom. He saw the panic cross Jean's face at his words and he wondered if this had been what he looked like when the other had said something similar to him, "Please, let me in, Jean."  
"Levi..."  
"All you have to do is be ready by 4." He barely got a nod, when he saw Jean look over his shoulder and try and school his expression into something akin to happiness, only just managing it as Marco sat next to him. 

* * *

**_March 26th_ **

He knocked on the door, taking a deep breath when he felt the demonic aura on the other side of the door. Oh shit, was he too late? The door opened to Marco beaming at him. Did he not realise he could sense the aura? Or was he so confident that Levi couldn't do anything that he just didn't care? "Sir! What brings you here?"  
"I have an early outing planned with Jean, so you have him the rest of the night. I'd hate for our schedule to cut into your evening."  
"Is that so." Levi smiled a sweet, almost sarcastic smile as Marco looked him over. "And where exactly are you headed?"  
"Jean expressed interest in a carnival that had an opening night, and he spoke of you not being able to go as you were busy. Since I wasn't, I opted to take the pain that is classed as 'fun,' in your absence." His hands lifted to make air quotes around the word fun, as he lied through his teeth.

"Hmmm, Jean??" He turned, shouting into the apartment, Levi's eyes following Marco’s to Jean coming around the corner, a coat in hand. Thank god he'd listened. "Are you ready? I could come as well..."  
"No no, you'll hate it. I don't want two people to hate the afternoon."  
"Well.. have fun..." Jean nodded as he pulled his coat on, walking towards Marco, who stopped him, pulling him down for a quick kiss, one of which Levi looked away from, before letting him leave. The door closed behind them and Jean visibly relaxed, Levi's voice low. 

"Not now, not yet." 

He led the way out, heading straight down the road, as casual and as easy as they were able, since he knew damn well that Marco was probably watching them from the window of the apartment. He even went so far as to go into the park the carnival was taking place at, even though he had no intention of going.

"Can we... um... stick around for a little bit?"  
"What for?"  
"I've... I've not been out of the house much..." Levi looked to him, a look of guilt and sympathy crossing his face.   
"We can stay as long as you need."

They ended up staying till 8PM, even watching one of the circus acts at around 6. Needless to say, Jean was getting happier as the night went on, even Levi perked up a bit once Jean brought him candy floss.

* * *

**_March 29th_ **

It had taken longer than he'd expected for Marco to show up, having holed Jean up in his office. He'd asked if he preferred his apartment, but Jean had said no, that the office would be better for when Marco did turn up and that he wasn't exactly opposed to coming to HQ. 

Levi had stayed with him, over the 3 days in which it took for Marco to lose patience. He'd not left Jean's side once, even going to the living quarters below when one of them needed to shower, doing so at the same time so Levi could keep an eye on him, not wanting him to get taken out from under his nose. They’d even slept in the same bed, Levi practically curled around Jean. He didn’t mention it when he woke the first time, Jean not knowing about it as Levi woke first. But the second and third time, Jean woke first and didn’t tell him to move. Levi just thought it was nice to have someone with him for a change.

"Wish he'd just show up."  
"Levi..."  
"All this waiting about is killing me, never mind what it's doing to you."  
"Levi..."  
"I mean honestly. You'd think he'd want to keep a tighter leash on you."  
_"Levi."  
_ "What, Jean?" He was clearly impatient as he sat behind his office desk.  
"He's messaged me..." Levi looked to the phone in Jean's hands, the man looking at it in horror.  
"He's on his way?” Jean nodded slowly, Levi moving into action, hitting buttons on his wrist and contacting Hanji. "Hanj, we're about to have company."  
_"Marco?_ "  
"Yeah. Get up here." The line went dead. "Showtime."  
  
  
Half an hour later, Marco was storming into his office, Levi quick to put himself in front of Jean. "That isn't something that belongs to you, _Nephilim._ " He heard Jean take a few more steps back, Levi holding his ground.

"That, is a person. His name is Jean and he _certainly_ doesn't belong to _you,_ demon." The words made the demon before him stop, looking him over. "Had you pegged from day one. You aren't getting any further in this plan."  
"I could just take _you_ out."  
"I'd fucking _love_ to see you try, kid." Marco took a step forward, Levi taking several back as the door Marco had closed burst open, along with the one behind Jean, the freckled teen quickly rushed and bound so he couldn't shift away. Levi's eyes were on Jean the second cavalry arrived, making damn sure that he wasn't about to join in the fray and start trying to attack the Nephilim helping. Thankfully, he didn't. 

  
  


**_That evening_ **

The process finally began and Levi stayed with Jean in his office, staying close by to him in case he needed any support. "It'll be over soon, I promise."  
"I don't know how you did it, Levi, I really don't."  
"The wait? I had you." Jean smiled on the other side of his desk.  
"No, I mean... the whole time the demon was there... I don't know how you did it for so long without snapping."  
"But I did snap, Jean." He held up his left hand, showing him the red ring that was a permanent fixture around his ring finger. "You're a better man than me."  
"I doubt I would have lasted much longer… If I hadn’t known you were watching all that time..."

"You are also in a better place than me." He dropped his arm back to the armrest of his chair, spinning it ever so slightly from side to side. "I... It pains me to say, but... I'm still not recovered."  
"You will be though, you will recover from it. It just takes time."  
"Remember that, alright?" Jean smiled again, nodding at Levi's words. "Though I must admit, this whole thing has made me feel more like myself, no offence intended, of course."  
"None taken. If anything, I'm glad." Levi smiled, the first genuine smile he'd smiled in months. "He'll... He'll come back, too, I'm sure of it."  
"Jean, I wish that were true, but he has no intention of coming back here."

"How do you know?"  
"I can feel it. It comes with the contract. I can feel everything he can. And at the minute,” he gained a thoughtful look for a moment as he looked to the ceiling, “apprehension, is what I'm getting at the moment for some reason."  
"Wait... you can feel that? Even when he's god only knows where?" Levi nodded. It was the first time he was telling anyone this, but hell, if it took Jean's mind of what was happening downstairs, he'd spill all his feelings if he had to, even if he had a 'no thanks' to all chick flick moments. "That's... I'm sorry but that's incredible."

"You sound like Hanji."  
"I'm sorry, but... it's remarkable. But I bet it's bloody irritating..." Levi smirked, leaning back in his chair, letting his head fall back against the top of his backrest.   
"It can be insufferable. Sometimes I barely notice it, but others..." His mind instantly went to when Eren was particularly annoyed or angry, feeling it himself.

A beeping occurred on his wrist, Levi looking down to it, "is it time?"  
"It's time." They'd headed downstairs quickly, Jean leading the way, moving quicker than Levi. He couldn't blame him in the slightest, he knew the feeling of wanting to see your significant other, for lack of a better term, after such an ordeal. They got to the door, Levi staying out the way as Jean moved in, slowing his pace as he watched Hanji uncuff and unchain Marco from the bed.  
  


He watched in silence as he leant against the doorframe, looking into the room. Grey eyes watched as Jean fell to his knees and Marco moved his legs over the edge of the cot as he sat on the edge, feet skimming the floor. "Is it... is it you..."  
"It's me, Jean, it's me." Marco leant down quickly, hands cupping Jean's face to angle it more upwards, their lips sealing together sweetly, both sets of eyes closing. 

He looked towards the floor, crossing his arms across his chest, not being able to let his mind wander to the day Eren woke up completely himself, having beaten his darkness and come back to the light. "I am so sorry, Jean, so _so_ sorry."  
"You've nothing to apologise for, don't, please." Levi glanced up, still in the same position, bar Jean's hands on Marco's thighs, their voices low and their lips inches apart, suddenly, mismatched eyes of one Marco Bodt were soon on him.   
"Lance Corporal Rivaille. _Thank you_ ." It was the most sincere piece of thanks he'd ever received, and it almost knocked him for six. "I am eternally in your debt."  
"No, you aren't. Consider us even." Levi's mouth pulled up on one side, looking to Jean, then back to Marco. "Just take care of each other for me, please don't let this ruin what you have. That's all I ask.."  
"I promise. With all my heart, I won't let go." Marco spoke, his hands running across Jean's face, prompting the teen to look back up to him from where he was knelt between the other's legs, looking away from Levi and meeting the others gaze."  
"Never..." Jean began,  
"In all the years we have left." Marco finished the sentence off, and Levi just couldn't take it anymore, pushing off the doorframe and heading quickly back up to his office, thankfully missing the more heated kiss.

* * *

**_April - July_ **

He'd begun to retreat into himself, to try and not care any longer, Marco and Jean the only ones able to even talk to him as he barricaded himself in his office most days. That was until Hanji and Erwin had stormed in bringing lunch. They'd sat him down, finally telling him everything he didn't know. About how Petra was correct, that this war wasn't worth fighting, that the angels were lying to everyone to make them want to fight. That they were cannon fodder to this war and dispensable.

It suddenly made sense, what Hanji was doing. She was building an army within an army, and damn was it a good plan and piece of subterfuge to the bespectacled woman's credit. It had taken the better part of the day, to get his head round everything, and all that she had planned. They'd even managed to get him to agree to go hunting, to try and take his mind off of everything by being productive that wasn't him sitting behind a desk. That just wasn't him, and hunting would help him get back into the swing of things.

So he'd hunted, joining in with Jean and Marco, easing all three of them back in to it, and the more they hunted, the better they became, until it got to the point where Jean was far better than he had been when they started, trying to take over the situation and take a commanding role. It meant they'd begun to butt heads again.

It meant Levi had had to take a step back, to stop hunting until a new partner could be found, Hanji all over it on her downtime, Armin even helping out with the small project of once again, having to find Levi a hunting partner.

* * *

**_August_ **

He'd opted to take desk work again, Hanji's project of converting Nephilim taking priority over finding him someone to hunt with, insisting he helped with that instead for the time being. He hadn't been able to, instead holding himself up in his office and doing the paperwork she didn't have time for. He was effectively running the core, while she was doing the action of helping the Nephilims on the sly. After all, if the communication and the paper trails stopped, the angels would get suspicious. And that was definitely something that they didn't want happening.

* * *

**_August 23rd_ **

The soft knock at his door made him look up from the mass of papers littering his desk, his brain so occupied it had made him jump. He looked back to the papers, hoping that whoever it was would leave him be, but that didn't happen, another knock sounded and his door clicked open. Armin's face appeared, Levi frowning slightly as it registered who it was. “Sir? Is Eren with you? Mikasa and Annie are back.” Figures he'd sent them back together, but Annie?

"Annie?"  
"Yes sir, she was with Mikasa, I assumed Eren would be with you..." Had Eren managed to actually change her back? To make her just like the rest of them? Clearly, if she was still breathing and walking about HQ. Maybe Mikasa too?  
"Is Annie..."  
"And Mikasa, from what I could see, sir."  
"I see.” Maybe that was what that pain had been, Eren taking on some of her pain as the demon had done for him. "Eren isn't here, Arlett."

"Do you know where he is?"  
"I doubt even Ackerman will know." His eyes went back to the paperwork, Armin stepping further in to the office.  
"What... what do you mean, sir?"

"Armin," Levi looked up, looking the blond in the eyes, a sympathetic look on his face. "Eren has no intention of coming back here. I felt it when he left with Mikasa." And even more so, when he'd left the morning he'd left him...  _ again.  
_ "I... I see..."  
"I'm sure he'll be in touch with you though, don't lose hope on that."  
"I.. I won't... But... Have you seen him?"  
"Not in a handful of months, no. He won't be able to leave you, Armin. You're his family, he won't desert his family completely." Levi on the other hand... "Go... go see your friends, I'm pretty damn sure you came straight here without even saying hello to either of them. Eren wont not come see you if he ever does come back, Armin." The blond nodded, bowing his head slightly in respect, before quickly leaving, the door closing behind him, Levi now looking to the window behind him, spinning his chair as he did so, a saddened expression covering his face as he overlooking New York, the rain pouring down from the heavens, blanketing the city in a fine watery mist. "Where the hell are you, brat? You should be here for them."

* * *

**_October_ **

"She's what??"  
"She's back, Levi." He stood staring at Hanji's office door, the woman stood at his side, waiting for him to take the steps forward and go into her office, to see what was on the other side. "She's undergone the process... Just like Annie did..."~  
"And you let her back in so willingly?"  
"She's no threat, not anymore, and she wasn’t lying about Erwin lying." He hesitated. On the one hand he wanted to see if this was true, if she was really back, but the other hand was telling him to keep the fuck away from her. This was the person that had broken his wing for crying out loud. Panic started to ebb it's way into his body, Hanji giving him a nudge. He had no choice but to obey, she'd force him into the room one way or another. 

His hand gripped the door handle, pushing down and forwards to open the door, seeing mismatched eyes looking and seeking out his own as he walked into the room, Hanji pushing him slightly further in. "Levi!!" She moved forwards, Levi instinctively moving backwards, hands raised. 

"No. You can stay where you are."  
"Levi, it's me..."  
"I know full well who you are." She stopped, not approaching, just looking saddened as she looked him over. She noticed that he hadn't been looking after himself health-wise, rather thin still and showing signs of sleep deprivation.

"I understand your anger, Levi, I really do."  
"Anger? You call  _ this  _ anger? I am beyond anger, Petra. How you treated me!" In all honesty, his joints in his wing still hurt to this day. He could feel exactly where it had been broken.  
"I... I‘m sorry about that, truly, I am. Please, let me make it up to you. We all want to make it up to you, Eren sent us all back.  
"And he didn't come with you?" Petra shook her head, her hands raised slightly in surrender. "No. Fuck no. No. I can't take this." He was out of the room as quick as lightning, rushing straight to the basement without a second glance.

He'd been thinking of this for the better part of a month. Odd thoughts here and there before they started to become more frequent. A running pace was too slow, his body reacting to the thought and a swirl of black smoke later he was standing in the room he always dreaded going to, because it meant days worth of queasiness and recovery on his part.

No way was he staying here any longer.


	30. Chapter 30

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the bad french in this one :P

_**One month later** _

In this universe, there was no such thing as monsters and things that went bump in the night. He didn't rightly exist in their eyes, and he'd enjoyed that, this past month. Though it did shock him that no one had come for him yet, he'd have thought Hanji would have been right behind him once they realised where he'd gone and how.

He'd attempted to get away, to force the connection to sever. But even putting a universe between them hadn't dulled anything. He'd had a brief sense of being alone as he came through, but that had rectified itself fully around 40 minutes of him stepping through, it now back full force. It had annoyed him, to say the least. But he honestly put that down to being so disoriented as he came through. It always made him feel off, jumping universes, which is why he didn't do it often. He was always out of commission reorienting himself for at least a day.

Levi was glad he’d chosen to come to Paris. It held so many memories for him, and not one of them involved Eren, demons, Nephilim or angels. It was bliss, and he felt like he'd finally managed to keep his mind off a certain brunet when he'd had a nightmare that had woken him up 10 minutes ago, having become a thorough night owl over the past month. He downed what was left of his water on his bedside table and pulled himself out of bed to go about his day. The clock read 5:30pm, meaning he needed food. He could mull over his mind being back on Eren as he made some food of sustenance. 

He still couldn’t understand, couldn’t believe how Eren’s mind worked.

All Levi wanted was for Eren to  _ come home, _ not bring his extended family home and not even have the courtesy to come with them. He’d not been coping well, he’d reluctantly admit, but that was just taking the biscuit. 

Despite not coping well with these things, he’d never run before. He’d never gone out his way to leave a situation. Levi had always met these things head-on and with brute force, where necessary of course.

This was the only time, and probably the first time in his history of past lives where he’d completely abandoned sense and turned tail and left. When he’d seen Hanji’s face, about to stop him from universe jumping, he knew he’d done the right thing, knew that  _ she  _ knew that he needed to just get away from all of this madness and just  _ reset _ .

It didn’t help that he could feel Eren,  _ all the time _ , his mind not completely his own with the teen on the edge of his thoughts constantly. He’d hoped that being in a different reality altogether would sever it, would help them both be able to move on… but obviously, that plan hadn’t succeeded. 

There was a number of realities saved for ‘future use’ by Erwin’s order, where none of this Nephilim and Demon nonsense existed, and neither did they. If they ever travelled to them, they’d be free to go wherever they needed without the thought of running into their other selves or someone that might know them. He’d thought it was a waste of time when it all happened, but now he was quite happy that Erwin had thought to make a contingency plan for in case things went sideways.

Thankfully, when he’d crossed over he was in full gear, so he looked very ‘military’, it's amazing what kind of doors that can open and how far people will go to help you when they think you’re a soldier protecting their country. It allowed him to get a place to stay for free for a short time, half furnished but that didn’t bother him all that much, with food for a month at least. He’d also managed to change every ounce of currency he’d snagged from one of the many safes in the room into euros. Praise Hanji for being prepared for everything.

Levi knew full well his location had been saved upon entering this reality, but finding him after the fact, not so much for someone that didn’t know him. Only a few would be able to and those few he could probably handle. He had enough experience with that already. The only one he might not be able to deal with would be Eren. He’d cave at the drop of a hat and go straight back, hand in hand with him with no fuss if he showed up and asked.  
  
He finished off the tuna salad he'd quickly throw together, before washing and clearing everything away, wanting to put Eren thoroughly back out his head... or as much as he could, anyway.   
  
  
A few hours later though, he looked in his bathroom mirror as he sorted his hair, it happily all over to one side in a side parting. The look quite suited him, especially when coupled with the eyeliner he was also wearing, plus the leather of course...

He’d managed to find a rather decent club that was happy to take his mind off things and had frequented there every night for the past 2 weeks. He was so recognised that he was let straight in, which was nice since it meant he didn’t have to queue in the rain. 

Levi went straight to the bar, ordering a fruity looking cocktail and heading to a table in the corner. It wasn't quite 9 yet, so it was still pretty light in the club, and not the usual people that frequented the place. The ones here were damn near respectable, compared to how he currently looked. 

The waitress continued to supply him with drinks over the next few hours, Levi keeping to himself and hearing the music change from the light and airy pop songs that had been playing to the heavy and bass-heavy tunes that changed the atmosphere completely. The lights dimmed and a flood of new people entered, dressed for clubbing now, and it made him blend in instead of sticking out like a sore thumb. It prompted him to get up and order his next drink at the bar, eyes soon scanning the room as the vodka and coke was placed in front of him. The music was thrumming in his ears and through his body as he surveyed.

A guy soon stood next to him, ordering a drink himself as Levi turned around, glass in hand as he leant back against the bar.

"Thought you might be back tonight."   
"I'm here every night, near enough," Levi smirked, looking to the male next to him.  
"Where'd we leave off?"   
"Hell if I remember, I've slept and drunk since then." The man laughed, sliding on to a stool closer to Levi, spinning around and looking at the dancefloor, which was slowly filling with people. 

“We've been talking for about a week now right?" Levi nodded, taking a sip of his drink. "You’ve still not told me where you’re from, you know?”  
“I did, I believe I said France.”  
“With as good an American accent as you have? Doubt it  _ highly _ .” The stranger smirked as he took a sip of the drink in his hand. “Come on, been talking to you all week, we’ve not exchanged names, the least you can do is tell me where you’re from originally. Told you I was Ohio.”   
“Originally… France.” Levi smirked, taking a swig of his drink before putting it back on his table.   
“Seriously?” Levi nodded. “Then where?”   
“Moved to New York.”   
“See,  _ knew  _ you’d been in the States.” 

The conversation went dry there and soon enough the song merged into another dance beat and the male beside him downed his drink, motioning for Levi to do the same. He did so, pushing off from the bar in his black get up and knee-high boots with a slight heel over the leggings he was wearing. 

The man wasn’t really his type, though no one was really his type anymore. _Eren_ was his type nowadays and that wasn’t an option to him anymore. The thought made annoyance flit through his brain as he was pulled on to the dance floor among the throng of bodies that were either on their way to being high, drunk or both. Levi was happy enough to dance with him though, happy to let his mind wander as other things did…

Even though he wasn’t his type, it didn’t hurt for the man's hands to find his way south and his hips… and just past that to his ass. His own went up and around the man's neck, gripping loosely as his eyes closed and bodies moved to the beat.  
  


Hours passed by, it being the early hours past midnight before he even needed another drink, leaving the middle of the dance floor and heading towards the other end of the long bar, it further away from the music which made it easier to order drinks. He waited a few minutes, pulling money out of the back pocket of his low riding jeans, which looked as if it were a sin to be wearing them. Thick, leather boots went to his knees, buckled down either side of the outside of them, glueing them to his calves. The tank top was no better, sticking to his skin like paint, highlighting his muscles, the back cut out like a sports shirt to show off the wings tattooed across his shoulders. His normal bracelets were around his wrists, his feathered one on his left, collar around his right. He blended in, and that was exactly what he was trying to do all these weeks.

He slid on to a high stool, leaning forwards against the bar as the man behind it came over to him, giving him an appreciative look over as he leant forwards to hear Levi's words.  _ "Rhum et coke, lourde sur le rhum, s'il vous plaît, rendent son utilisation rapide." _

_ "Bien sûr, à venir."  _ Levi smiled as the bartender went off to prepare his drink.

"French always did sound like velvet on your lips." He sighed, looking down to the long fabric mat that was in front of him, the body the man's voice belonged to slipping onto a stool by his left. Levi didn't answer it, handing over money when his drink arrived, thanking the bartender as he walked away. "I'd ask how you're doing, but given where you are, I'd say not good." Levi sighed, staring into his drink.

"I'm doing fine, Erwin, but thanks to jumping to conclusions."  
"I don't need to have made a contract with you to know you are doing nowhere even in the ballpark of fine, Levi."  
"If you're here to take me home, just leave now. I'm not going anywhere."  
"You are. You don't belong here, no matter how much you can make yourself fit in."  
  
"It's better here."  
"If you want to live in Paris again, so be it. We'll move you tomorrow if that's what you want."  
"I didn't mean geographically better."  
"I know damn well what you meant, Levi." He lifted his glass to his lips, licking them after. Man, he'd taken it to heart when he was heavy on the rum, he could barely taste the coke. "What's it going to take for you to come home?"  
"For me to at least have one more night." He knew full well that Erwin would render him unconscious and just carry him back, if he didn't agree to go willingly, and he didn't fancy waking up going through that.   
"I suppose I could stretch to that. I'll come back, then, in the morning."

"You don't have to leave, Erwin." Levi downed his drink, wincing slightly at the sheer amount of rum he just consumed before placing the empty glass on to the bar and pushing it on to the mat, sliding off his stool as Erwin stood.   
"I'm not staying here and watch you get drunk, Levi."  
"You won't have to, if you take my mind off drinking."  _ Off Eren. _ He lifted his hand and threaded his fingers through his, pulling him on to the dance floor fluidly, the older blond not protesting like he thought he would. He felt his arm jerk backwards and he was span, hitting a solid chest as Erwin pulled him close with a strong arm around his waist pulling him up onto tiptoes, mouth near his ear which resulted in Levi's being in the same position, his head angled upwards. "Take my mind off reality, please,  _ Commander _ ."

Hips began to move against his own, swaying to the heavy beat as hands found his waist, guiding his hips to the rhythm. Levi's arms curled their way up and around Erwin's neck to pull him more to his level. This was just the distraction he needed as he lost himself in the beat, his eyes closing as Erwin's lips brushed against his ear. "You need to control yourself,  _ Corporal, _ or I might have trouble resisting."  
"Do you hear me complaining?" His voice was raised slightly so that the other could hear him properly, and he saw the look that crossed Erwin's face as his eyes went to his lips, Levi's following the action to Erwin's.   
"I couldn't do that to him."  
"You wouldn't be. We haven't been together for the better part of a year."  
"Levi..." Their movements had all but stopped, ground to a halt in the middle of the dance floor, though no one seemed to be paying them any mind. "You don't want that." Levi licked his lips,   
"Don't tell me what I do and do not want."

The beat picked up, prompting their bodies to start to move and sway to the rhythm. They got thoroughly lost in the music, in the beat, in each other by the time the clock ticked 4AM. The club soon filtered out, Levi dragging Erwin outside, both rather intoxicated by this point, but Levi wasn't half as bad when he was drinking alone. For once, his mind wasn't even anywhere close to Eren. The cold night air hit them as they walked out onto the Parisian streets, Levi pulling Erwin by the hand to the left. "Where are we going?"  
"My place."  
"We should be going home."  
"I  _ am _ going home" Erwin sighed, soon pulled into an alleyway and down a small hill. It took around 5 minutes to get to Levi's place, the man pulled a key out of his boot, Erwin not surprised that he had no pockets on the outfit he was in.

He pulled Erwin's hand, pulling him in and up a flight of stairs. Once they were upstairs, Levi tugged Erwin's arm, pulling him into a hug. "Thank you, for coming to try and take me home. I was starting to think none of you cared, if I'm honest." Arms had pulled around him, holding him around his waist and on to his tiptoes.  
"We always care, we just wanted to give you space. After he didn't come back, and Petra and her squad walked through the doors... you needed time." Levi pulled away, swaying slightly, only to have Erwin steady him, walking him backwards. 

"Erwin..."  
"You told me not to tell you what you don't want..." He allowed himself to be walked backwards, his back soon hitting the sheets of his bed. "And your body is telling me you _desperately_ want it." Hips ground into his own and his eyes fluttered closed.

"Erwin...." This time it was a low moan, his body shivering involuntarily.   
"Tell me, what you want..."  
"For... for you to... take me away... from reality." He spoke between kisses to his throat, hands against his hips.   
"Tell me to stop."  
"Don't stop, Erwin, don't _ fucking _ stop." Lips pressed hastily against his own, as hips pressed into his own, causing a small moan to bubble up in his throat, Levi soon flipping their positions, pinning Erwin to the bed with ease, even despite his size and strength.

He pressed his lips to Erwin's again, grinding his hips down again, fingers pressing expertly against the man's ribs after his hands snaked under his shirt. Levi's mouth kissed a hot trail along his jaw, Erwin angling his head to give the shorter man more access, biting playfully as he reached his jugular, being careful not to mark out of muscle memory. "Stop teasing,  _ Corporal, _ "

"Yes,  _ Commander. _ " Hands were quick to discard the shirt, Erwin's doing the same to Levi's, both ending up on the floor along with Levi's boots as Erwin changed their positions again, mouth kissing Levi’s neck as a hand found its way to rest over the man's heart. A few seconds later, Levi went still, his arms dropping from Erwin’s body limply.

“Well that escalated rather quickly.” He looked down at Levi’s peaceful face from where he was straddling him. “Sorry, Levi. It's for your own good. And Erens, from what I can understand.” He sighed, pressing a quick kiss to Levi’s forehead before getting off him and stretching, heading to get himself a drink.


	31. Chapter 31

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It gets considerably fluffier from here on out :)   
> The tag does say it has a nice ending :)

He woke, exhausted and hungry for a change. He tried to sit up while he rubbed his eyes, wondering why there were legs between his own. He slowly looked to his left, seeing himself laying on top of the blond that had come to take him home, both of them half-naked and entwined half under the covers. "Oh god..."  
"Mmm, don't worry, we didn't do much..." Erwin's arms pulled him back to him, the man already awake, "go back to sleep, honestly that's the most you've had all year." Levi allowed himself to be pulled back, resting back where he'd slept, head against Erwin's chest and his arm around his stomach, legs still twisted around the taller man’s. "Never seen you sleep so soundly as you did last night."  
"I feel rested... but I could sleep some more."  
"Then sleep some more, we can go home later." He didn't protest it, maybe this was the wake up call he needed to tell him to grow the fuck up and just face it like a man.  
"We... didn't.."  
"No. I couldn’t let you do that to yourself… Or him." He felt  _ ashamed _ . Eren had got to have felt all that, even if nothing happened.   
"I'll come back with you..."   
"Good." Erwin hesitated now, his eyes open and on the far wall. "Don't think about it yet, just go back to sleep. We've got all the time in the world. Just be thankful it was me and not some random bar skank who wouldn’t have stopped you..." Levi didn't need telling twice, closing his eyes as he agreed. He was glad it was Erwin, and he let sleep take him around 10 minutes later, to that thought alone.

  
  


Erwin let Levi sleep for as long as he needed, having food ready and waiting for him when he woke in the afternoon. Levi clearly wasn’t happy about going back, and ERwin couldn’t blame him in the slightest. Going back meant going back to an empty apartment that held nothing but bad memories.    
  
“I was thinking…”   
“Is that wise?” Erwin smiled, sitting across the table as Levi finished off his pasta.    
“When we go back. Paris probably wouldn't be half a bad idea.” Grey eyes looked over his fork as it slid out his mouth, staring blankly at Erwin.   
“What?”    
“There’s nothing for you back in that apartment, and you could continue to take time off from work like you have been doing. It wouldn’t do any harm.”   
“I can’t just up and leave, Erwin.”   
“Why can’t you?” Levi sighed, Erwin folding his arms as he looked around the apartment.   
“I just… I just can’t, ok?”    
“Then why run here?”    
“Because I…” He stopped himself, not sure he wanted to open this can of worms. He’d not even explained this to Hanji, and he’d only scratched the surface when he spoke about it to Jean.    
“I‘ve got all day…”   
“I can’t. It doesn’t matter where I am, I may as well be useful. I thought this would work.” 

Levi stabbed at the remaining few bits of pasta and ate them, standing quickly and putting the bowl on the counter. “It’s not as easy as just putting distance between us.” He turned around, arms folded and leaning against the counter. “You know, I am grateful you stopped me last night. You’re right, I couldn't do that to him.” Erwin stayed quiet, watching Levi as he leant back against the dining chair, folding his right leg over his left.    
  
“You know we’re connected, right?” Levi received a nod. “It runs a little deeper than, ‘oh Eren’s happy today’.”   
“Ok...”    
“Right now, agitation at Ackerman… I think... for something she’s said.”    
“Wait…” Levi looked to Erwin there, who was looking startled. “How do you know it’s Mikasa? Surely it could be anyone?”   
“It’s hard to explain. It’s like… It’s honestly so weird. It’s a feeling that goes  _ with  _ Mikasa?”  
  
“That’s… incredible.”   
“Yeah, which is why I haven’t told Hanji this. She’d have us both in a lab and I honestly can’t handle that.” Levi tilted his head back, looking to the ceiling. “I don’t know everyone, but given he spent all that time with her MIA, I‘m pretty tuned in to her now. Eren probably doesn’t know everyone’s.” 

“What do you mean?”    
“I‘m guessing it’ll take time to pick out individuals. Given he spent so much time away, he won't be able to tell that it's you I jumped last night.”   
“Oh, I see.” Erwin looked thoughtful for a second as his eyes directed to the floor, Levi looking towards him.

It was strange to talk about this out loud. He’d gone over it in his head a few times but saying it out loud somehow made it a little too real. Grey eyes looked to the red band around his finger, thumb running against it slowly as his other fingers flexed upwards.    
  
“Is there anything else?”   
“What do you mean?” Levi looked up to see Erwin watching him, and standing.   
“Is it just feeling them?”    
“Well, from what I can gather, with the brief time we’ve spent in each other's company since it all happened, we can amplify feelings as well. He showed up, a while back when he was away with Mikasa. The next day, nothing happened of course, but he was able to calm me mentally? It’s a bit hard to explain but it was like… tapping into my emotions? As an empath would, I guess.”   
“Wow…”    
“Yeah... Hell, I dread to think what would happen if…” A smile crossed his face as he didn’t rightly want to finish that sentence with Erwin.

“Well, I‘m sure you’ll find out.”   
“I doubt it. That door is firmly closed.”   
“You forget something,” Erwin moved closer, Levi’s head having angled back down to look at his hand. Erwin’s fingers gently tilted Levi’s head up by pushing his chin upwards. “I know both of you, and I know you inside out.” Levi gained a sad look on his face. He wasn’t vulnerable around the majority of people. Eren had got past that barrier, just as Erwin had before him. “You know let this be the end. Neither of you will. You just need time.”   
“I came here to sever the connection, Erwin, I don't think we’re going to come back from that.”   
“You’ll find a way.” Erwin dropped his hand and stepped backwards, “come on, let's go home.” He held out his hand for Levi to take. The shorter male looked at it for a minute and took hold, Erwin pulling Levi to gather his things. 

  
  


It didn’t take long to collect all his belongings, given he only really had a few clothes and his hunting gear. He didn’t bother changing, just stayed how he was, Erwin electing to carry Levi’s gear for him. Levi left the remaining money he had on his as well, it being a few hundred euros worth, for the lady that let him stay here, and they were off.

They were at the extraction point soon enough, and crossing back over, Levi almost doubling over on reentry to their universe, Erwin not faring as well either. Hanji and Armin were there, as were Isabel and Farlan, the latter of which were keeping their distance. 

  
“I was expecting you both back last night.”   
“Slight change of plans.” Erwin handed off Levi’s gear to Hanji, going about supporting Levi a little better than he had been. It always did affect him rather badly, and twice in the space of a month, there's no wonder he almost doubled over. “You alright?”   
“Yeah, I‘ll live I‘m sure.” 

“Levi, you look…” Hanji didn’t rightly know what to say to finish that sentence. The look did agree with the male, that’s for sure.    
“Yeah yeah, can I leave?”   
“Well, I kind of wanted to talk to you before you went home. You’ve been gone all of November, Levi”  
“Hanji, can we please do this at a later date? I feel like shit after that, and present company isn’t welcome.” He refused to look at Isabel and Farlan, the girl of which looked downright like a kicked puppy. He stood a little straighter, leaning into Erwin slightly as Hanji nodded.   
“Come on, you can come back to mine. You’re not going home.” 

Erwin was quick to get them out of there as Levi hefted his bag more on to his shoulder, heading for the lobby. “Why are we not going for the roof?”    
“Like hell you’re flying after that. Neither of us are great after hopping universes. We’ll get a cab.” 

* * *

He couldn't sleep. He just  _ couldn't  _ sleep. And now here he was, trying to wear himself out enough that he'd pass out the second he got back to his office and fell onto his sofa. After not being able to sleep for weeks due to being more on edge than ever, Hanji had suggested flying to clear his head, especially since he got back after not having used his wings for a month. Levi had to admit, it felt  _ good  _ to be flying again. 

The snow swirled around him as it started to fall, Levi having made sure to wrap up before he took to the sky, his blue jacket around him along with gloves and his knitted looped scarf wrapped around his neck an extra time to keep it in place over the bottom of his face and neck. He only had a set of keys with him, to get him back into his office when he did feel tired enough to go back, intending on sleeping Christmas Day away, still rather the night owl from his stint in the other universe. He figured that was the reason he couldn't sleep, too used to sleeping during the day, but Hanji and Erwin had forced him to start sleeping during the night again. 

He looked down on the Christmassy scene of New York. The houses covered in a thick layer of snow, twinkling lights that were stung up in the streets and obnoxious over the top decorations on and outside houses. He hated this day at the best of times, and now he didn't have Eren to make it that little bit brighter, trying desperately not to focus on the fact that it wasn't only Christmas, but his birthday.

He'd felt the aftermath of what the other had quite obviously felt between himself and Erwin, not knowing in the slightest if him stopping them had helped any. But he supposed it didn't matter, the drunken intent had been there to begin with. He hated the fact he'd felt just how drunk he'd made him get, feeling intoxicated at his end enough that he'd had to stop everything he was doing and actually go to sleep in his bed at home for a change. The sofa just hadn't cut it. He hated feeling like he'd yet again drove Eren to drink. 

He shook his head as he flew over the streets outside HQ, eyes scanning habitually trying to forget about the day, forget how Petra and Hanji had insisted he go to the rather large Christmas party that they'd been planning for weeks. He couldn't be doing with that, not today, not without...  _ Eren?! _ The thought was to himself as he stopped his wings from propelling him forwards as he got a better look at the body amidst the snow. He'd felt a pull at the connection and it must have been Eren seeing him in the sky. He was soon landing behind him quietly, the snow crunching under his boots, his wings, not back completely to their pure white, but something slightly off against the snow around them. "Eren?" His voice was full of disbelief and hope, though his inner mantra of feeling said a completely different story, despair, guilt and sadness swirling within him like the snow starting to fall heavier around them. 

Guess Hanji had been right, at least she'd get the white Christmas she'd bet on.

"Not anymore."

His whole body froze as if the ice had crept into his veins. He could feel what Eren was feeling, and if anything the teen felt defeated. And it was entirely Levi's fault. He'd been expecting anger, to be shouted at until the other was blue in the face from it, but nothing had come. He watched him begin to walk away, his mind screaming at him to go stop him but his body not cooperating. 

Levi had wanted so much to see him, had thought desperately on it over the past week, to try and apologise, to try and say he was sorry for everything he'd caused the Nephilim to feel. Now he had his chance and he was sure he wouldn't listen to a single word of it, he wouldn't even look at him. He willed his feet to move, running as Eren had got quite the distance away from him, choosing instead to use his wings. He propelled himself upwards and forwards, soon landing in front of Eren with his hands raised as if that would stop him, half expecting to see black smoke swirl amidst the snow in a matter of seconds. "Eren please, I'm sorry, truly I'm sorry. I  _ wish  _ I could fix this." He tried not to think about the morbid thoughts he'd had just after jumping to another universe, that ending his life was the only way to sever this connection, or at least try and come close to see if that helped. Man, he'd been low those first few nights when alcohol had been his best friend, though had resolutely refused to think of Eren as he'd done so in regards to such thoughts.

"Fix what?" Eren hissed, his eyes scrunching closed against the tears prickling at them already, head dropping as he refused to even look at the man in front of him for more than a few seconds. If he actually saw the sadness that he could already feel reflected in those grey eyes his control would snap, he knew. "There's nothing  _ to _ fix, Levi, not anymore." It was jarring how defeated he felt because usually there was absolutely nothing that would break his will.

The words hit him square in the chest and he watched with a pained expression as Eren refused to look at him, refusing to give in to the urge. His hands lowered as he watched him fight tears, as he felt it happen within him. As he felt him try not to give up the last piece of him that he had left. 

"I... I'm sorry..." He sidestepped to the side, putting himself out of Eren's path, not having any words left to say that Eren would want to hear. All he could do was let Eren leave, as that was clearly what he desired to do, even if he stood still and hadn't tried to move past him while he blocked his path. His head angled downwards, intending to let him walk away before he flew away himself. This was not a good start to the 25th and he just wanted to exhaust himself so he could collapse in a heap in his warm office even if that meant Eren not being with him. He didn't want to crush his spirit and fire anymore than he already had and stomped on the pieces to boot without realising it.

He could feel the anger coursing through Eren, it was clearly keeping his feet fixed in place. A hand soon wrapped around the collar of his coat, making Levi look up to Eren’s green and gold eyes. He didn’t like what he found, the deadness and hollowness behind the mismatched eyes.

"You left." It wasn't an accusation, merely a quietly venomous statement. "After everything I.." he paused, swallowed, choked over the words and changed them into something else, thinking better of it because the fact that they were still in public and that it was still Levi's birthday refused to leave him. "No. Nevermind. Not today."

He felt Eren's hand drop, and Levi just couldn't not have this argument. He couldn't hold this in any longer, not now. His birthday be damned.

"I might have left for another universe, but I didn't walk away from you, Eren! I fully intended to come back, I just needed  _ time _ ." His voice was raised now, backed away slightly to put a fraction more distance between them. "I didn't walk away when I lost my memories.  _ You  _ walked away from _ me _ . Countless fucking times after I got them back and still I waited for your ass to walk back. This time... this time was different. You had no fucking intention of coming back and you  _ damn well _ know that. Can you fucking blame me after everything that's happened?!? I needed space after you sent my team back, I couldn't handle it because you didn't come back with them! I needed you here and you still  _ fucking left _ ." He was full-on shouting by the time he'd finished, breathing heavy, finally getting all this off his chest. It was a conversation they needed to have in his eyes, but probably not as publicly as they were doing. Not that he cared much, at this point.

His hands were clenched into tight fists at his side, wishing beyond hell he'd stayed indoors, stayed and sulked in his office until sleep finally took hold of him, instead of wearing himself out by flying for countless hours. This is not a birthday he wanted to remember, but one he wasn't going to forget for a while, he imagined.

"I left so that you could get your head back in the right place." he wasn't shouting, but as had always been the case his deadly calmness was unquestionably worse than having a voice as raised as Levi's. "I left to bring your family home, to give you what you used to have back. I thought that would mean something to you.."

He wanted to stop, desperately regretting the words even as he spoke them because he could never justify setting Levi up for a shock like that without being there too to cushion the blow, and he knew it, but now he'd started he couldn't stop. "I waited for you, fought for you.. everything you wanted, anything you asked. But I guess it doesn't matter how much I give up, how many times I say those three words, in the end I never get the same back. I should stop expecting the same back." He laughed, the sound mirthless and derisive as he shook his head. "Maybe I should have stayed gone. You were happy enough to fall in love with a demon as long as it looked like me." Eren wasn't going to bring up the fact that the first and only time the word 'love' had never crossed Levi's lips was to the demon, because that wasn't what he meant in bringing it up. He knew Levi had been tricked into that, so he couldn't hold it against him. "But that doesn't matter anymore either, does it? Now you get to watch me leave one more time."

His wings were already in view as he spoke, visibly ruffled and twitching with his anger even though every fibre in him just wanted to wrap them around himself, the warmth a pathetic replacement for the feeling of Levi's skin against his own. Something he would never feel again.

Levi couldn't watch him leave, he couldn't do it. He didn't want to put himself through that again. "If happiness is getting your soul picked at and your mind quietly invaded without your say so, and your body carved up when you did something 'wrong'," his hands came up to make air quotes, not looking at Eren in the slightest, rather to the snow falling between them to the floor, "then yeah, sure. I was happy. I'd take that a thousand times over if it meant you staying by my side. But if you don't want that, fine. I‘m not watching you walk away from me again. I can't go through that one more time. I c-can't.  _ You  _ are my family Eren, and nothing is going to change that." The tears finally fell as he quickly turned on his heel, his wings twitching the snow that had fallen off them as pain coursed through him, eyes on the snow-covered pavement as he walked away. Not able to see Eren going out his grasp again, quite possibly for the last time. 

He hoped beyond hope that he would get stopped, that Eren would stop him and hug him now they'd said the words they needed to be said, but he wasn't going to hold his breath. It was a miracle he'd seen him, and you only got one Christmas miracle. Because Eren let him go, actually let him walk away, and he felt the anguish rip through him as a same sense of pain ripped through himself, as wings took the other into the night sky. His wings vanished as he rounded the corner of a half-lit alleyway, shifting entirely out of view and landing in the corner of his office. He fell back against the wall, the window to his left with the nice one-way glass and he slid, slid to the floor and let the tears fall. Why was it, the only time he could ever use the demonic shifting, was when he was upset or angry?

It all hit him, everything he was feeling, everything Eren was feeling and the memories of his own words had dragged up of being carved, sliced, tortured mentally and physically. He drew into himself, wishing the pain would just end, but knowing he had no hope in hell of that happening. 

He didn't feel like himself anymore, didn't feel like he would ever be himself again after this. He hoped once they had this conversation things would get better, that Eren would be here with him. Time to go back to not acknowledging the day. Fuck it, he'd work if he had to, there was no way he was leaving this room unless it was to go hunt up food from the levels below. He looked at his wrists, ripping off the bracelet he'd made of feathers, about to throw it across the room, but his fingers not letting him do it. They gripped around it like it was a lifeline, like it was the only thing of Eren he had left, and he supposed he did, along with the collar wrapped around his right wrist, eyes looking to it as his thumb stroked the black blue feathers around the double metal bangle.

* * *

**_New Years Eve_ **

"Do I have to?"  
"Yes, you have to." It was nearing 10PM, and he honestly was happy to stay right where he was. There was really no point in him going alone. He stared Isabel down, a frown on his face as the other held out his blue jacket and scarf. "You ain't gonna hole yourself up here like you have been doing. Tired of your shit, sir."  
"Yes because this sounds respectful." he pushed up from his chair, rolling it under his desk. "Given that I am your superior, I don't have to listen to you."  
"But you will, since you have grown to trust our judgement again." Farlan now, a smirk across his face."  
"Don't push it." He rounded the desk as he spoke, taking the offered clothes. "I've still not forgiven any of you." Farlan frowned, Isabel rolled her eyes. Levi was only really able to speak to them both so freely as they'd never hurt him, they'd never been an active part in anything regarding his health and wellbeing.  
"She's trying alright? Can you not just give her a chance." Levi sighed.  
"If I go with you will you shut up about this?" Farlan nodded, Levi pulled his jacket on, "lead the way."

Half an hour later, he was sat with his arms folded across his chest, non alcoholic drink in front of him on the table, boxed in by Farlan and Isabel who weren't letting him get up for anything. The drink in front of him? Gunther had fetched it for him. He'd refused to have anything alcoholic because Eren was drinking enough for the both of them right now, wherever it was he was tonight. He was trying not to think about it, to save him the pain.

When the countdown began, Levi's head bowed as his legs crossed under the table, refusing to join in. He didn't want to be here, he didn't want to face the pain of breaking such a lengthy tradition. Hell it pre-dated him and Eren getting together if memory served. Him getting so impatient with the brat that he'd made the move on him then.

Cheers erupted around him and his body went stiff, licking his lips as he felt something flow through him, making him look up. He'd gone all night without seeing him, but this was just annoying, seeing him now. "Sir...?" Farlan’s voice to his right, a hand on his thigh to try and prompt him to look away, but his grey eyes weren't able to. Even Gunther and Oluo were looking now, both of them gained a look of anger as they could clearly see what the sight was doing to their CO, even if he was trying desperately to outwardly hide it. 

He supposed this had been what Eren felt, only ten times worse when he'd lost his sense and almost went full throttle with Erwin back in the other universe. He was just extremely glad he hadn't, but now as he looked on, watching Armin hit him and Jean look on in disgust, he wished he had. At least then Eren wouldn't be getting this, when it wasn't his fault in the slightest.

He felt guilt tap at the edge of the connection, a frown on his face, hoping that guilt was for the mushroom now with tears in his eyes. "Hanji!!" He looked to his left, seeing the woman sat with Petra not too far away, the latter of them having kept her distance, but within ear shot, still wanting to be close to him. 

"Yeah??"  
"Arlett, now, please. Find Bodt or someone." Hanji nodded, pushing up and past Petra carefully, heading towards the blond, Bodt being pulled out of thin air as she passed a crowd of people.   
  
"Are you alright.."  
"I'm fine, Eld, honestly. Stop asking."  
"I keep asking because you don't look ok..." He reached out to take his drink, drinking a considerable amount as Hanji came back over, only to get stopped by Jean halfway. He watched them have a hushed conversation and then looked on as Hanji became angrier by the second.  
"What's up with that??" Oluo was watching as well, and Levi could hazard a guess.   
"Use your brain, Bozado." He refused to verbalise his thought, refused to put that into words that it was because of Eren.

It took an hour, before anyone even remotely let him go, Hanji and Jean getting their heads together for that hour solid. He dreaded to think what they were talking about. 

They weren't that far far HQ, so he chose to walk home, knowing that Eren was most likely long gone by now given that he had an hour head start on him to wherever he was staying. Not that he was going to attempt to follow. Eren was clearly trying to move on in his life, as he'd tried to do. But the teen was clearly going about it the wrong way, just as he had done. The thought brought a sad smile to his face as he thought about the differences where Armin had pushed Eren away, Erwin had done the same thing to Levi... Not that he could rightly remember it, but he knew that after all this time he could trust the other Nephilim not to lie to him. Why would he? He'd already expressed the lack of interest in him purely because of Eren, and he wouldn't do that to either of them. 

The snow was still falling, it was still bitingly cold outside, causing him to push his hands into his pockets and huddle in to himself as he walked down the sidewalk towards HQ. "Levi,"  
"There was a time…” he looked upwards slightly, as the slighter framed female fell into step next to him, though keeping a foot gap between their arms, "when you would call me 'sir' regardless."  
"Have I earned that right back yet?"

"Touché. What do you want, Petra?" He didn't break stride, he was walking slowly anyway, having wanted to enjoy the walk back.   
"I just wanted to let you know your apartment has been sorted. I finished up this afternoon."   
"Glad to hear it. I'm sure yourself and Gunther will be happy there until you find something more permanent."  
"I still can't believe you just gave it up, like you did."  
"I don't want to go there any more than you wanted to stay at HQ." he smiled slightly, walking with him a little more. "Where did the contents of the place go?" He was mostly concerned about his keyboard, more than anything.   
"In storage at HQ. We didn't know what you wanted to do with everything."  
"I don't rightly know what to do with everything yet. Erwin got me the majority of it when I lost my memories." That keyboard was definitely going to go into his office, hell he'd buy a bed and put that in there if Hanji would agree to it.  _ (FYI: She said she'd never agree to that as long as she breathed.)  _ He'd left his old one at the apartment for Petra to use, not wanting it in the slightest.

Petra had walked him to HQ in silence, wishing him a good night and a Happy New Year before going in the direction of Levi's old apartment. The first thing he'd done was haul his keyboard from the bottom floors storage room, after spending an hour trying to find the right one, and set it up in his office along with making a second trip to collect various items of clothing and a few other home comforts that he missed.  
  
  
It wasn’t until the morning before he actually fell onto his back on the sofa, his office door locked, not that that mattered in the slightest now that all the Nephilim in the building were converted, there only being himself and Erwin that hadn't undergone the process. 

That day, Hanji pitched an idea of a job to him, along with Jean and Erwin. He'd refused, point blank refused. But they'd done no less than to work him down until he was practicing the song selections to see if he liked them. Then it was downhill from there. The plan was good, he had to admit. It didn’t put him in the line of fire, since Levi was in no state to hunt or fight a battle, and it kept civilians away from the action.

At some point during the time he spent practising, he'd started to gain a fight in him that he thought had been lost over a year ago, to the demon that had terrorised him in Eren's body.

He wanted to fight, he wanted to fight for them, and neither of them was doing that. And thanks to the small intervention he'd been given he wanted to try this, to try and get the message across the only way he knew he could somewhat flawlessly.


	32. Chapter 32

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We are on the home stretch!!  
> After the angst in this fic, or rather RP, we had to do something to cheer ourselves up.  
> There's fluff and love and all things happy and AU'ey incoming :P

_Levi POV_

**_Mid January_ **

  
  


Why? Why had he agreed to this? He had no clue as Hanji gave him a side hug from where she stood next to him, a microphone clutched in her hand. She was already waiting for him, and that’s where the only eye that could currently see fell.

“Eren said you were feeling nervous?”  
“Wonder what made him think that?”  
“You won't be by the end, I promise you.”  
“Easy for you to say, four-eyes.”  
“Don’t think about the people. This isn’t like you, you’re normally overflowing with bravado and confidence.”  
“Yeah well, I’ve not done something like this before. I can count on one hand people who have heard me play, and 2 of those 4 have heard me sing. How many people are even out there?”  
“Don’t think about it. You won’t see them once the lights go on us, anyway.”  
“Oh thanks, that’s _totally_ reassuring.” 

He heard a cheer, names announced on the speakers, barely taking them in as he felt Hanji move from his side. His feet carried him, with an air of outwards confidence, towards the seat, sliding on to it carefully, fingers touching the ivory keys and he suddenly felt as confident as he looked, the nerves dripping away as if they’ve never been there. She was right, he couldn’t see anyone bar her as he glanced up to the edge of the stage, his one visible eye soon seeing Hanji with the biggest grin on her face and he gave her the rare chance to see him roll his eyes, or at least the one that was visible through the bandages. She approached the piano, leaning against it, mic not near her face so no one else could hear, “ready when you are sugar,” Levi, on the other hand, couldn’t talk, the microphone on a stand directly at his face so he didn’t have to worry about it moving as he played. He nodded, looking at the keys, taking a deep breath, expert fingers soon pressing down and a soft tune sounding it getting stronger every other beat, until Hanji’s voice accompanied the melody.   
  


_Right from the start  
_ _You were a thief, you stole my heart  
_ _And I , your willing victim.  
_ _I let you see the parts of me that weren't all that pretty  
_ _And with every touch you fixed them  
  
_

His fingers glided over the keys as if it were second nature, seeming more at home than he had in quite some time, no longer on edge, no longer stressed. He wasn’t thinking about Demons; Eren going demonic; them getting injured; nor about the job that Eren was currently doing. Levi’s mind was solely focused on the music, the sound of Hanji’s voice as it kept up with the tempo he was setting. 

A drumbeat kicked in and she hit the chorus, accompanying his playing. He adjusted his sitting position slightly, licking his lips and swallowing, Hanji’s voice dying down slightly, his notes slowing at the same point, his eyes closed, the music kicking back in fully.  
  


_I'm sorry I don't understand, where all of this is coming from  
_ _I thought that we were fine._

_Your head is running wild again, my dear we still have everythin'  
_ _And it's all in your mind  
  
_

Hanji sang with him in the background at various times as he carried on the words, his eyes opening as he spoke the last line, eyes looking towards the keys, though soon looking up as his voice was accompanied by Hanji’s…  
  


_Just give me a reason, just a little bit's enough  
_ _Just a second we're not broken just bent  
_ _And we can learn to love again_

_I never stopped  
_ _You're still written in the scars on my heart_

_You're not broken just bent  
_ _And we can learn to love again  
  
_

He smirked, wanting nothing more than to get up and sing alongside her, but watched her slide herself leisurely on to the top of his piano during their singing of the verse. He was getting into it, forgetting the entire audience to purely focus on Hanji, the woman looking and sounding stunning as she too, lost herself in the music. He figured this was like a long lost dream come true, to actually get him on stage. So why hold back?  
  


_You're holding it in  
_ _You're pouring a drink  
_ _No nothing is as bad as it seems  
  
_

He stood up as he sang the last few bars, Hanji slipping from the piano, moving round next to him, Levi clipping the mic off the stand as his voice trailed off and he turned to face her as the piano died, Hanji’s voice becoming the only sound in the entire hall.  
  


_We'll come clean  
  
_

He smirked, the two close as he pushed the stool out of the way, toppling it over. Very rock and roll. The smirk that he got from Hanji at the action clearly said she approved. The height difference wasn’t any factor of an issue, it didn’t seem to matter to anyone, suddenly, the song got intensely real. They both knew full well they weren’t singing to each other, their voices just complimenting each other to the point it might be regarded as sinful, another name on both their minds…  
  


_Just give me a reason  
_ _Just a little bit’s enough  
  
_

He turned back around Hanji moving with him, his hands hitting the keys at just the right moment, the piano kicking back in together with the drums, the voice. Hanji’s voice to the end of the lyrics, Levi’s piano carrying the song out quietly as the drum died off with Hanji’s voice. He slowly finished, slender fingers lifting from the keys, head angling up and Hanji filling his vision, hugging him tightly, microphone turned off in her hand. “Oh god Levi thank you!!!!” She sounded ecstatic in his ear, not helping the smile that broke across his face. He shouldn’t be this happy. He just couldn’t help it. 

“Yeah yeah, get off my stage legs. Keep my brat alive.” She let go, dropping a kiss to his cheek and saluting half assed.

“Sir, yes Sir, knock ‘em dead.” He watched her run off stage, Levi going to retrieve his mic, opting to not speak between the song, just letting the band get themselves ready, waiting for the signal that they were ready to start.  
  


As Hanji left the stage, he took a deep breath, unable to see the audience thanks to the lights. He knew Eren was out there somewhere, he could _feel_ him. He just hoped he'd listen, hoped he'd feel what he was feeling and take it to heart. It had been his one request in agreeing to get up on this stage. For this moment. For these next two songs. Even though his job was to keep the attention off the Nephilim running around the building, searching out the gang they knew operated here, he couldn’t help but get lost in the moment. 

He took his seat back at his piano after collecting the stool. He’d practiced this for weeks in his office away from prying eyes and ears. He just hoped this helped, having had a small intervention from Hanji and Jean. He and Eren weren’t talking it out, and Levi was starting to regress straight back to how he’d been with the demon. Hanji had noticed, so had a few of Eren’s generation of Nephilim. Each one had reached out to him when he’d almost slipped. Everyone seemed to have been briefed on his mental wellbeing and that he wasn’t quite right still, and he honestly wasn’t arguing with any diagnosis. He wanted this behind them, not to forget about it, but to embrace it, get over it, and move on. Their past was a part of them, and he wasn’t about to try and shove that aside again. Nothing that didn’t kill them, would only make them both stronger. He just didn’t have the strength to put it into words anymore, and neither of them ever would if one of them didn’t do something. 

This was him finally _doing something_.

  
The piano started him off for a few beats, before his voice kicked him, his eyes completely closed.  
  


_Dear darlin’, please excuse my writing.  
_ _I can’t stop my hands from shaking  
_ _'Cause I’m cold and alone tonight.  
  
_

The drum kicked in to accompany him, and it was the simplistic sound that made it so powerful.  
  


_I miss you and nothing hurts like no you.  
_ _And no one understands what we went through.  
_ _It was short. It was sweet. We tried.  
  
_

He was singing from the soul he no longer held within his body, bypassing his heart completely, trusting it to fill in any blanks he had as he laid himself metaphorically bare before the whole room. It was against his better judgment, but it was what needed to happen. He knew Eren would feel every second of this.  
  


_And if my words break through the wall  
_ _And meet you at your door,  
_ _All I can say is ‘Hell, I mean them all.’  
  
_

He needed himself to be heard as he opened his eyes to make sure the adjustment of his hands over the keys wouldn’t cause him to miss beats or notes. His whole body ached, knowing full well Eren was hearing him. He could feel it himself, that Eren could hear and he was drawing on that to make his own emotions more amplified, making damn sure the Nephilim stood and took notice of what he was singing. He couldn't miss this chance to make him feel the raw, open emotion he was singing.   
  


_I miss you and nothing hurts like no you.  
_ _And no one understands what we went through.  
_ _It was short. It was sweet, we tried. We tried.  
  
_

His words stopped briefly, eyes opening to look to his fingers as they drew slowly over the ivory. He took a quick breath, his words having become slightly shaky with the emotion, just added that tiny bit more of another level to the song, the lyrics coming out his mouth.  
  


_Been thinking about the bar we drank in.  
_ _Feeling like the sofa was sinking.  
_ _I was warm in the hold of your eyes.  
  
_

His own eyes closed again, getting lost within the words, Eren filling his whole being as he sang. The change in performance was startling. While he’d had Eren on his mind while singing with Hanji, he couldn’t help but be distracted as he looked upon her while on stage. But now, while he was alone, there was nothing stopping him picturing the younger Nephilim sitting right beside him on the long stool, watching him play and listening to him sing. Like countless times in their past. He pushed that image, pushed it with his mind, fully embracing it. He knew they wouldn't have started yet, still gearing up. It had been his only request in being the distraction for the raid, for Eren to hear this song with no distractions, and he hoped that that had happened, wherever they were getting ready. No one wanted him running from this.  
  


_Dear darlin’, please excuse my writing.  
_ _I can’t stop my hands from shaking  
_ _'Cause I’m cold and alone tonight.  
_

_I miss you and nothing hurts like no you.  
_ _And no one understands what we went through.  
_ _It was short. It was sweet. We tried.  
  
_

His piano cut out, the bass drum providing the steady beat to the back of the stage, keeping the rhythm going along with his voice. His head tilted back, his fingers against his thighs, words sounding clear and true through the room. He vaguely noticed the room was silent.   
  


_Oh I can't cope. These arms are yours to hold.  
  
_

His hands were back in action, his head bowed and his eyes closed, hands resuming their art as his heart and soul bled through without a care in the world that it was on show for everyone to see. He needed it to show, that was the only way he was going to get through to the thick skulled Nephilim he knew was listening in some form. He could still feel him, and for once, he wasn't backing away from that, he was embracing it with open arms.  
  


_And I miss you and nothing hurts like no you.  
_ _And no one understands what we went through.  
_ _It was short. It was sweet. We tried._

_We tried...  
  
_

His fingers finished off the beat, feeling his whole body thrumming with the feelings, the adrenaline making quick work to get into his entire system. The room erupted. He could hear Hanji’s shout of his name first and foremost and it comforted him to know that Hanji had heard it, since he'd never let her hear the song he'd picked to sing. He looked up from the piano, the lights dropping slightly, giving him a chance to see the crowd. But he didn’t take it, just grabbed the microphone from the stand and moved, the band that was at the back of the stage kicking in almost instantly, drawn out notes of the next song began to sound through the hall, over the crowd still shouting and cheering. If he didn’t go straight into another song, he wouldn't be able to continue and he knew it. He tried to close himself off, but only half managed to shut that door, it ajar and still letting his feelings shine through.

Clearly, Hanji knew how to conduct the undercover hunts. He was pretty sure he was keeping every human in the entire building busy, while the Nephilim did what they did best. He hoped Eren had now joined them, because attending a concert hadn’t been on Eren’s agenda. He’d still be able to hear him, and he’d handpicked every song that he was going to be singing, until he was signaled to get off stage. They were all designed to reach Eren and keep him going, keep him fighting, to try and make him want to come back. To fix everything they’d messed up. They were both broken, and it was going to take the respective half-breed to patch the other up and hold him together. It wasn’t going to be an easy task.

Now he'd decided to try and get them back to where they needed to be, he was throwing himself into it entirely...

He was determined to see it through to the end.

_  
I'm an angel with a shotgun.  
  
_

Ok, he couldn’t take all the credit. This had been Jean’s suggestion.   
  


_Get out your guns, battle's begun, are you a saint, or a sinner?  
_ _If love's a fight, then I shall die, with my heart on a trigger.  
  
_

He had to admit, he liked the song. He couldn’t deny it in the slightest once he’d heard it. It was so… _them_ . He certainly knew what he was fighting for now, and that, alone, was Eren.  
  


_I'm an angel with a shotgun, fighting 'til the war's won,  
_ _I don't care if heaven won't take me back.  
_ _I'll throw away my faith, babe, just to keep you safe.  
_ _Don't you know you're everything I have?  
_ _...and I, wanna live not just survive, tonight.  
  
_

The microphone hit the clip in the stand that Hanji had had, and he adjusted it as he’d sang the last verse, putting it to his own level as the band kicked in with gusto behind him. 

_Sometimes to win, you've got to sin, don't mean I'm not a believer.  
_ _..and Major Tom, will sing along.  
_ _Yeah, they still say I'm a dreamer._

_They say before you start a war, you better know what you're fighting for.  
_ _Well baby, you are all that I adore, if love is what you need,  
_ _a soldier I will be._

His hands moved, saluting the room, fist curled against his chest over his heart, standing to attention as he sang the last line. It was so reminiscent of his time before he was a Nephilim. The salute was like second nature to him, and even though he'd not done it in years, it felt more like home than anything else did right now.

_  
I'm an angel with a shotgun  
_ _fighting 'til the war's won  
_ _I don't care if heaven won't take me back  
  
_

He was clearly enjoying himself, thoroughly lost within the music, lost within the atmosphere of the room. He was almost thankful to the legion horde operating from within its walls… This building was a damn good choice. This room had _amazing_ acoustics.  
  


_..and I'm gonna hide, hide, hide my wings tonight.  
  
_

The band suddenly died away, leaving him to sing, along with a lone guitar, having changed a few things in the songs he was performing. Instead of the piano, since he hadn’t wanted to play the current song, he’d asked to switch it for the acoustic now playing quietly with his voice.  
  


_They say before you start a war, you better know what you're fighting for.  
_ _Well baby, you are all that I adore, if love is what you need,  
_ _a soldier I will be_ .  
  


The guitar died away and the crowd erupted, a grin finally spreading across his lips. He still refused to look to the crowd, even though the lights had dimmed again so that he could see. He didn't want to be put off by the people watching him. He just wanted to get lost within the music, let the band carry him away back to where he started all those millennia ago.

* * *

_**Eren** _

As it turned out the plan to use Levi as a cover for what felt like the whole garrison to explore and irradicate the building while keeping the humans in one place was somewhat of a masterstroke. Although he wasn’t sure who’d come up with it.

What he wasn’t planning on was finding himself shoved in the direction of the small, black room that housed the sound and lighting engineering, having to stow his gun as he was all but pushed inside by Mikasa and told to lay low for a few minutes while she and Annie cleared out the corridors ahead. Wanted him to save his strength for a few minutes, apparently. Like he needed the coddling.

The technicians who were in there said nothing to his presence, too pre-occupied with watching their equipment, so he slumped against the wall. He’d been purposefully pushing away the waves of emotion he could feel, stubbornly reminding himself that he’d agreed to wait until today. He’d agreed to give Armin some space. He’d already decided that they both needed to move on and he wasn’t going to change that now. The fact that he could  _ feel _ Levi’s determination to reach out for him, to fight for the last shreds of what they used to have, meant nothing anymore.

So he told himself.

_  
Dear darlin’, please excuse my writing.  
_ _ I can’t stop my hands from shaking  
_ _ 'Cause I’m cold and alone tonight. _

  
He could do nothing but stand there and listen, his fists clenching as he heard the sound of the piano through the speakers feeding back into the small room. Levi hadn’t been thinking about him before, not like the concentration he could feel through the connection between them right now, and it floored him, glued him to the floor as Levi’s voice washed over him.

The simple drumbeat knocked at him, almost preventing him from desperately trying to shut it all out as he bit his lip.

_  
I miss you and nothing hurts like no you.  
_ _ And no one understands what we went through.  
_ _ It was short. It was sweet. We tried. _

  
Except Eren felt like he hadn’t tried at all, not now. All he’d done was allow Levi to walk away from him that night. After he’d promised to fight for them, he had stood by and done nothing despite knowing exactly how Levi felt, exactly how much he’d wanted Eren to stop him and tell him comforting lies about how they could make it all okay again. He could have at least done that, even if he’d left again. Instead he’d cornered Armin and hurt him with that stupid kiss on New Year’s Eve and then isolated himself from everyone except Armin and Mikasa, not caring what they thought, not wanting to see their disapproval or their pity.

He’d stopped asking how Levi was coping, no longer wanting to hear anything about him, but Mikasa had stubbornly kept telling him anyway. He knew that Levi hadn’t been doing any better than he was. Somewhere at the furthest corner of his mind he knew that neither of them would ever be right until they talked again, until they tried to sort this mess out again. He’d insisted that Armin wasn’t just a rebound to him, and he meant that – he couldn’t do that to the blond. No matter what Levi did tonight, no matter what lengths everyone else was apparently prepared to go to in order to force him to hear this exactly how Levi intended, no matter how much the words were tearing at him, he refused to listen. Refused to let the whole situation change him.  
  


_ And if my words break through the wall  
_ _ And meet you at your door  
_ _ All I can say is “Hell, I mean them all.  
  
_

He knew what Levi was doing, knew that this whole scenario had been a set up from start to finish. He knew that Armin had ensured that he came here to test him. To see if he’d really decided to throw what he had with Levi away and just let it die. Armin was just as shrewd as Erwin when he wanted to be, he picked his battles – and this was a battle. The real fighting going on outside the four walls he was locked within wasn’t Hanji’s real goal here at all.  
  


_ I miss you and nothing hurts like no you.  
_ _ And no one understands what we went through.  
_ _ It was short. It was sweet. We tried. We tried. _

_ Been thinking about the bar we drank in.  
_ _ Feeling like the sofa was sinking.  
_ _ I was warm in the hold of your eyes.  
  
_

He could see Levi on the stage, sat at the piano, and it was exactly how he remembered. If he closed his eyes he could picture himself beside him, watching him play, sitting close enough to feel his body heat, feel the emotion thrumming through his body with just the music and his voice alone, no supernatural connection being required. And he could feel Levi thinking about exactly the same thing, cursing it even as he fought down the regret and the tears because he hadn’t expected this, hadn’t been warned. He’d only come here for a physical fight and that wasn’t what he was getting.  
  


_ Dear darlin’, please excuse my writing.  
_ _ I can’t stop my hands from shaking  
_ _ 'Cause I’m cold and alone tonight. _

_ I miss you and nothing hurts like no you.  
_ _ And no one understands what we went through.  
_ _ It was short. It was sweet. We tried. _

  
The familiarity was bringing back more than that, bringing back thoughts of the times he’d woken up with tears in his eyes, Levi’s hold on him warm and quiet and accepting as he sang to him, chasing away the anger, the nightmares. He knew then what he’d known from the start. He couldn’t walk away from this – not when he couldn’t drown out and deny what Levi was feeling because he could, and was, feeling it himself too. Couldn’t ignore how much Levi wanted to see him again, to reclaim and renew each and every memory they shared that had been tainted by the demon’s actions until everything that had happened could be put behind them as though it had only been a minor roadblock.  
  


_ Oh, I can't cope. These arms are yours to hold.  
  
_

It was like there was no one else in the world besides the two of them, despite the fact that his line of vision was full of the crowd and half obscured by the seated form of the two technicians who were still ignoring him as he stood pressed to the wall, tears in his eyes and no breath in his lungs. He knew that the moment this hunt was over he was going to have to swallow all of this down and make his choice – because right now he didn’t know what he wanted to do. If he still wanted to pretend that he could no longer even entertain the idea of trying to work this out with Levi all it would take was not going to him after the performance was over. But if he did.. what was he going to say? What could he possibly say that would make letting Levi walk away from him on his birthday alright, especially when they both knew that Levi had wanted to be stopped and Eren had point blank ignored what he could feel?

The thought didn’t scare him as much as the idea of his life continuing how the past month had, of trying to carry on anymore without seeing Levi’s smile again. Without waking up next to him again. Without  _ hunting _ with him again.

He’d try anything to have that back, and he couldn’t deny it anymore. He refused to. He wasn’t sure what he’d say when he got to Levi, but he wasn’t going to plan it. What happened would happen, one way or the other.  
  


_ And I miss you and nothing hurts like no you.  
_ _ And no one understands what we went through.  
_ _ It was short. It was sweet. We tried.  
  
_ _ We tried...  
  
_

The lights went down and he saw Levi avoid looking at the crowd, thankful that he wouldn’t be able to see him, wouldn’t even be sure whether he was there or not. He recognised the next song as the opening bars played and chuckled despite his inner turmoil, trying the door handle. It was still locked – but he got the sense that he’d already heard what Levi wanted him to be alone and fully attentive for, because the intensity of emotion wasn’t the same here as it had been.  
  


_ I'm an angel with a shotgun,  
_ _ fighting 'til the war's won,  
_ _ I don't care if heaven won't take me back. _

_ I'll throw away my faith, babe, just to keep you safe.  
_ _ Don't you know you're everything I have?  
  
_

It was like the atmosphere in the expansive hall had been electrified after the intimate tone of the last song, the crowd cheering and Eren unable to help the genuine smile that crossed his face as he felt Levi start to really enjoy being there. Eventually, there was a soft rap on the door and the click of a lock and he slipped out of the small room.

He’d already heard everything he needed.  
  


_ They say before you start a war,  
_ __ you better know what you're fighting for.  
_ Well baby, you are all that I adore,  
_ __ if love is what you need, a soldier I will be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hanji and Levi - P!nk - Just Give Me A Reason  
> Levi song 1: Olly Murs - Dear darlin’  
> Levi song 2: The Cab - Angel With A Shotgun


	33. Chapter 33

_**Eren** _

By the time the building was cleared he hadn't sustained any heavy injuries except the new distraction that was the problem of what he was going to say to Levi. That wasn't to say that he didn't have to go along with most of the people who had been actively fighting and not just keeping a perimeter to the floor of HQ that acted as a mini hospital ward in order to get some minor wounds cleaned up and stitched before he went up the few floors to the office he knew that Levi was holed up in.

They were both tired, Levi from the stage and himself from the fighting, but that wasn't important in the big picture - his priorities were on facing the discussion that was coming. He couldn't allow a repeat of Christmas, he owed it to Levi to find some kind of answer for them now that he'd been offered this cease-fire, this opportunity to try again. An opportunity that he'd convinced himself he didn't want because he didn't think he'd be given it before.

Realistically just forgetting the mistakes that both of them had made wasn't going to happen. There were going to be bad days, days where he lapsed into guilt and anger, days where Levi was bothered by the fear and the memories. But the question was whether they could get past them and make the good days worth it. He had no choice but to trust that they could - because the connection between them made the question of a relationship with anyone else decidedly stickier. He knew that much just from experiencing Levi's little run in with Erwin secondhand. How could he move on from someone he was constantly feeling guilt over?

It was pointless to worry about the contract though because nothing they could do could change the fact that it existed, they just had to live with it.

Something tight and vulnerable fluttered in his chest as he surfaced from his thoughts to find himself facing Levi's door. His hand rose to knock, and then he dropped it again, retreating until his back was to the wall on the other side of the corridor as he stared at the nameplate in the wood. Perhaps he should go and talk all of this out with Armin first? Perhaps Levi wouldn't mind if he didn't come back today?

He shook his head as if to clear it, sighing. He couldn't avoid this. If he did then everything that all the other people who were also invested in their happiness would be for nothing. It was not just Levi he would be letting down if he didn't act - neither of them existed in a vaccuum, and he couldn't afford to forget that. With a deep breath, he knocked on the wood and entered, the sight of the keyboard over to one side making him smile fondly before his gaze turned to the desk and Levi. The room looked like he'd made it a permanent living space rather than an office, and he was sat at his desk staring at his computer screen distractedly. The fact that Eren knew instantly that the shirt was one of his own tugged at something deep within him, made him exhale shakily and wrap one arm across his front. The office held more than a few memories for the pair of them that remained completely untouched by the events of the last year, of arguments on perspective and nights spent in each other's company entirely wrapped up in each other. Memories that were digging at him now, reminding him what he was giving up.

* * *

_**Levi** _

He felt it, the second Eren joined the fight, but he just had to keep going, had to be strong  _ for him _ , and it wasn't until Hanji signalled him offstage that he stopped being as strong as he could be.

Two songs after her signal from the side of the stage later, he was rushing behind her grabbing things from their respective dressing room and heading straight away with the rest of the garrison, though in waves to avoid such suspicion. It wasn't until the air that he got a chance to ask. "Did everything go as planned?"   
"Yeah, pitch perfect." He smiled a small smile, since he didn't think she was just speaking about the mission. "Did you enjoy it? You looked like you did."  
"You weren't supposed to be watching."  
"Some managed to get back towards the hall, I took a peak."  
"Typical." They fell silent, Hanji's squad flying behind them along with what used to be his own... bar Petra.  
"I know Jean was happy you picked his song."  
"Yeah well, couldn't resist." 

They were soon dropping on to the roof of HQ, Levi shaking himself out. It felt strange to not have fought in what was clearly a rather heated battle of clearing out the gang that had occupied the building, since all the people he could currently see either had ripped clothing or blood on them. Or in Eld's case both. "Go, get some rest. The lot of you." Levi joined the crowd heading downstairs, only needing to go down two sets of stairs to get to his office floor. 

He pushed in to it, finally letting himself feel what the concert had brought on, pulling the bandages from his face and hands as he moved over to the desk. He dropped them on to his keyboard carefully, running a hand through his hair and taking off his jacket, leaving him in just a fitted white shirt as he leant against the back of his desk, looking out over the night time picture of New York.

If anything, he hoped tonight had been a success in something other than clearing out one of the last legion gangs. He knew Eren had heard him, had felt everything he wanted him to. Now it was just a waiting game to see if he'd listen or push it all aside in favour of just moving on with his life.

Levi knew he couldn't. He wasn't going to be able to move one, and that was fine, if Eren could. As much as he wanted to push and force this, he knew that that couldn't happen. It couldn't be the way they ended up fixing it. It had to be a choice on both parts. He'd made his, now it was just Eren.

Even though it probably shouldn't, it made him smile as he pushed off the desk, that he was going to have to learn an efficient way of knocking himself out for the night that wasn't drink, for if Eren did move on, because he wasn't going to be able to go through a whole night of sex with whoever he moved on with. It made him smile, but he also cringed at the thought as he started undoing his shirt, wanting to be in something comfier than the styled suit Hanji had managed to get him into again.  
  


5 minutes later, he was in one of Eren's old shirts and a pair of sweatpants, his feet bare, starting to wonder if he should try sleeping in one of the quarters downstairs rather than the sofa behind him. Levi pushed that from his mind for now, heading towards his computer and sitting down in the chair after turning it on. It was only just near midnight, he really wasn't even tired yet. He was sure there was something he could be doing that was productive. He looked behind him as it booted up, at the clear night sky, wondering when the temperature in his office would start to fall. Levi was already cold after the flight since he hadn't exactly been wearing anything to stop the chill of the wind while he was out there. A sad look crossed his face, as the only thing he wanted to keep him warm, just wasn't here.

Levi didn't have any work to do once he looked through his files, just sitting staring at his computer screen, leaning back in his chair with one arm resting against his desk as he sat slightly sideways. The knock at the door didn't pull him from the thoughts of the day, but the second he heard Eren's voice, he was looking to his desk. 

"I heard you."

He sighed, licking his lips, not quite sure what to say now that Eren was here, not that he knew before Eren showed up, but still.   
  


"I'm glad, either way." He only ever sang for him, it was reserved for sleepless nights and idle lounging, and when he didn't think the other was listening while he was sitting behind a keyboard or piano. "But did you hear, or did you  _ hear _ ?" The inflexion was like a knife, as his eyes looked up to Eren's on the last word, sitting up a little straighter in his chair as he did so. It was fine and dandy saying that he'd heard him, but had he heard him like everyone else? Or had he heard him how he had intended for Eren to hear it? Full of raw emotion and promise.

"I heard everything. Everything that you wanted me to. At least, I think I did.."  
"I really hope you did. It's not often I put myself on the line like that. If ever." He wasn't an emotional person at the best of times, or he never used to be. Since this whole ordeal began he'd become a lot more in tune with his feelings, he'd admit... But of course, the last to admit it. "I assume you came here for a reason?" He looked away, leaning forwards on his desk and folding his arms, resting them on his forearms as he looked to them, trying desperately not to think of the worst-case scenario.

He didn't want this to end badly, he wanted them to start fixing things. That was what the whole stage show was about, at the end of the day. He could have just sung generic songs with no meaning, but Hanji told him to not pass up the opportunity.

Eren nodded, fully appreciating how rare and probably how odd this must be for Levi to do. He was caught partway, still hovering in the doorway somewhat but not wanting to get too much closer to the desk because his brain would take the shortcut to not having to talk about this if he did. He wasn't going to be able to get much closer to Levi without abandoning his scrambled thoughts and pinning him against the desk. They couldn't talk, he couldn't fuck this all up, if their mouths and hands and minds were otherwise occupied. Because he was still convinced it was going to happen at some point.

"First of all, I came to apologise. If it weren't for the connection between us, you would have been able to move on and forget me by now." he was a little stronger now, deciding that he would just have to deal with this as it came. If he allowed his fear to rule his responses he wasn't going to get anywhere, he was just going to stand there and stutter himself into oblivion. "I know you tried. I tried too.. but after tonight I honestly don't know if I can ever get past everything we had. As fucked up and selfish as that is." he chuckled, the sound entirely without mirth as he stared at the floor. "This can't be healthy for either of us."

"I wouldn't have moved on... I was drunk, I..." He leant back in his chair, a hand running over his face as he turned his chair to look out over the city, rain starting to fall from the heavens. "I regret every minute of it... I didn't even think about you being able to feel every second.. I didn't..." he sighed, still looking away from the other, his hands pulling at the ends of the sleeves of the shirt, his fingers entirely hidden. "It’s not a question of it being healthy Eren, if it's what we want..."

"I don't know  _ what _ I want." 

He almost thought better of putting the admission into words, because he was expecting to have turned up here and just been able to know what to say - but he didn't. Whatever he should say to make all this better again wasn't magically appearing in his head. It wasn't like there was a script to read from.

"When you know, Eren, you know where I'll be."

He'd wait forever if he had to, they had forever to try and fix this. He just wanted it fixed this side of forever. Eren might not know what he wanted right now, and it irked him to be in competition with that goddamn mushroom, since that's the way he saw it right now, but he wasn't going to go and push it. Eren needed to get there on his own. "You know how I feel. I'm not going anywhere." He stayed looking over the city, the rain started to fall heavier, blanketing the city to match his mood. "But when you know... Can you tell me either way?" This voice was quiet, as his eyes stared into the distance.

He didn't want to be left hanging, or to find out through the connection by Eren mounting Armin or vice versa and have to shoot himself in the leg just to distract from it. Annoyance and anger ran through him briefly at the thought, but he pushed it out his system, really not wanting to think about that image, or what the fuck he'd tell Hanji when she came running toward she sounds of a gunshot.

Eren nodded, sighing. This hadn't turned out quite how he might ultimately have wanted it to, but it hadn't been the complete fuck up he was scared of either. It was a middle ground that they would both just have to bear with for now.

"I'll tell you." he replied, a bright grin that made him look so much more like himself emerging on his face and replacing the thoughtful frown that had been there before. "Thank you for everything.. for waiting.. I know it's not what either of us wanted, but I just need to get my head around this."

Before he really knew what he was doing his body had kicked into action and he was across the room, a quick tug on Levi's shoulders pulling him forward into a brief hug from where he was sat.

"I'd rather definitely be sure than risk ever hurting you again." His heart was in his throat, his nervousness at the brief possibility of rejection as he nuzzled closer for a moment very much there. Then he leant back, eyes searching Levi's for a few seconds that almost felt like a small contained lifetime in which he could see all the progress they'd made and everything they could still be. Until he shut the thoughts away by leaning forward and closing the gap between them, breath catching in his throat as their lips met in a chaste kiss that left him reeling all the same.  
  


* * *

  
The small kiss Eren left him with played on his mind for days after, having to finally push it from his brain to save himself going any crazier over it. It left him reeling, wondering if Eren was going to come back. He's refused to think about it, getting glimpses of emotion from the teen but nothing more than that. Several days later, Hanji had shown up in his office after Levi went to get lunch, all his personal things having been cleared out. 

"No way are you sleeping in here any longer, had enough of your mopey face."  
"Where is my keyboard, Hanji??"  
"In your new room, downstairs. Along with all the rest of your stuff. Erwin and I moved you in while you were out."  
"I've only been gone an hour..."  
"Hunny, you don't have much stuff to move."  
  


So that's why his back was against the covers of a low double bed, two weeks later. It was the lead up to Valentine's Day, and he was brooding in the small, darkened bedroom. The rooms didn't really consist of much, just a small bedroom, an outer living space and a bathroom with a shower. But it was fine till he needed to find somewhere better. 

"Oi! Corporal!" His head rolled to the side against his pillow as he heard Hanji's voice on the other side of the door. "I'm aching for some coffee!" He contemplated not letting her in, but she'd only shift and drag him out that way anyway. He sighed rolling off the bed and to the door, opening the door in the small living room to a beaming brunette. 

"Fine but we're walking, it looks like a nice night."  
"Yes sir!" She mock saluted him and he almost rolled his eyes as he moved to find his boots and jacket, soon heading out the door and down the elevator.  
  


In no time, they were walking side by side, Hanji talking his ear off about something he was barely listening to, the coffee shop in sight. The windows were steamed up, the blinds halfway down and it looked packed. "Shall we go somewhere else?"  
"Hell no, I want their bagels."  
"It's packed, Hanj,"  
"So? Suck it up." She pushed him in first, and a familiar voice hit his ears, "you’re seeing this and you are going to stay till the end." The doors closed behind them as she guided him to the back, near to the counter, her arms securely around his middle to keep him in place as she turned them towards the empty booth in which Eren was sat.

The moment Eren realised he was here, he could feel it, and it made him smile slightly that he clearly didn't think he'd be here. The arms around his waist said a different story. They were keeping him in place so that he couldn't move, not that he wanted to, of course.   
  


_ When the days are cold  
_ _ And the cards all fold  
_ _ And the saints we see  
_ _ Are all made of gold  
  
_ _ When your dreams all fail  
_ _ And the ones we hail  
_ _ Are the worst of all  
_ _ And the blood’s run stale  
  
_

He didn’t know what to think, what to do. Hanji had brought him here for this, it was Eren’s way of answering his own music. 

_  
I wanna hide the truth  
_ _ I wanna shelter you  
_ _ But with the beast inside  
_ _ There’s nowhere we can hide _

_ No matter what we breed  
_ _ We still are made of greed  
_ _ This is my kingdom come  
_ _ This is my kingdom come _

_ When you feel my heat  
_ _ Look into my eyes  
_ _ It’s where my demons hide  
_ _ It’s where my demons hide  
  
_

As Eren stopped pushing the connection away, he felt everything hit him in the chest, his hands finding Hanji's forearms, feeling her grip increasing around him as he gripped her arms. He really had heard him. Was this him letting him down on a high note of having something to hold on to when he was gone??  
  


_ Your eyes, they shine so bright  
_ _ I wanna save that light, I can't escape this now  
_ _ Unless you show me how _

_ When you feel my heat, look into my eyes  
_ _ It’s where my demons hide  
_ _ It’s where my demons hide  
_ _ Don’t get too close, it’s dark inside _

_ It’s where my demons hide  
_ _ It’s where my demons hide _

  
As the song drew to a close, he let out a breath he didn't realise he'd been holding. He relaxed into Hanji's hold, her mouth near his ear as she leaned into him. "You alright?"

"Ask me later." He heard her laugh as the guitar riff started up for a new song. 

"Don't listen with your head."  
  


_ High dive into frozen waves where the past comes back to life  
_ _ Fight fear for the selfish pain, it was worth it every time  
_ _ Hold still right before we crash 'cause we both know how this ends  
_ _ A clock ticks 'til it breaks your glass and I drown in you again  
  
_

The words already sounded so  _ them _ and he'd only sung the first few lines. He felt everything begin to wash away, Eren feeling shining through underneath him holding back. But that wasn't happening anymore, he wasn't holding back with him any longer.   
  


_ 'Cause you are the piece of me I wish I didn't need  
_ _ Chasing relentlessly, still fight and I don't know why  
_ _ If our love is tragedy, why are you my remedy?  
_ _ If our love's insanity, why are you my clarity?  
  
_

Even before Eren had spoken the words, the heterochromic gaze was locked with his own steel grey almost instantly. He'd searched for him in the crowd and found him quickly, as if it were calling him home. Levi couldn't look away, rooted to the spot by the feelings welling inside of him and the gaze that Eren was giving him. The kid had never done this, probably never even considered doing this, and he felt honoured that he was doing it now for him. If anything, given what he was currently feeling.  
  


_ Walk on through a red parade and refuse to make amends  
_ _ It cuts deep through our ground and makes us forget all common sense  
_ _ Don't speak as I try to leave 'cause we both know what we'll choose  
_ _ If you pull then I'll push too deep and I'll fall right back to you  
  
_

Neither of them had dropped their gaze, and he could tell Eren was a little on the nervous side, but he wasn’t about to let that stop him. The words hit home a thousand times over as Eren sang them. He couldn't pull his eyes away, couldn't look away from what Eren was giving him. He felt like if he did, he'd be turning away from something that was as important as breathing right now. It didn't fucking help that Hanji was humming in his ear along with Eren's singing.   
  


_ 'Cause you are the piece of me I wish I didn't need  
_ _ Chasing relentlessly, I still fight and I don't know why  
_ _ If our love is tragedy, why are you my remedy?  
_ _ If our love's insanity, why are you my clarity?  
  
_

All he wanted in that moment was for Eren to fall right back to him as his words were implying. He wanted to be that push that would bring him back and make him stay. The past year was nothing compared to the clear eternity that they had together. 

_  
Why are you my clarity?  
  
_

As their eyes tore away from each other, he had to blink the tears back, turning in Hanji's arms and hugging her quite openly. Which wasn't something he did. She hugged back loosely. "It isn't me you wanna be hugging, sugar." He let go instantly as Eren moved out of the booth, slipping out of her arms and heading through the crowd, eyes downcast until he saw Eren's legs. He looked up before he walked right into his chest, arms threading over his shoulders and putting himself on to tiptoes, pulling him down slightly with his eyes shut tight, trying to avoid the pain running through him. At least it was a good kind of pain, the mind that came with knowing he'd put himself out on the stage just then in an environment that he had never been in before, in the hopes that he would listen. 

"Fucking brat. If you make me cry in public..."

He smiled, nodding and chuckling slightly as the sudden movement bought a collective 'aww' from a few of the people who were watching - because now that Levi had moved straight over to him it was painfully obvious to everyone just who Eren had been singing for, even to people who didn't know him at all. He was probably going to get a playful whack to the back of the head for that somewhere down the line.

"Sorry. In fact, no. I'm not sorry at all, I am entirely through being sorry for enjoying this. I meant every last moment of what just happened and I am going to cuddle the fuck out of you when we get home whether you like it or not."  
"That... sounds like a good way to end today..." He sighed as he spoke the words, reluctantly pulling away from the taller body he'd latched himself on to his arms drawing away as his hands trailed over his shoulders and rested against his chest. "I need to see Hanji." He saw Eren nod, eyes looking to his lips, but thinking better of it. No way in hell was this coffee shop sharing that with them.

He pulled away completely and turned, adjusting his jacket slightly before weaving through the crowd that had formed, "really? Coming to find me?"  
"I came here with you. I wanted to tell you I was leaving. It's common courtesy, four eyes."

"Then you have my permission." She smirked and he couldn't help but give one in return. 

"Wasn't asking for permission." He turned around, heading back towards Eren slowly, giving him time to finish the conversation he was having, before threading his fingers through his and tugging, nodding goodbye to Marco, Jean and Armin, pulling him towards the back. They got up the stairs before he was tugging, their hands detaching and then arm going around his waist.  
"Where to?"  
"HQ." He looked to Eren's eyes, gaining a frown at the blank look and lack of travel. "I'm not in my office, aim for the living quarters." They were gone in a rush of smoke, Levi still not quite used to travelling this way as it only ever happened for himself when he was either upset or incredibly angry.

  
When they landed he looked around, getting his bearings before heading left, fishing keys out of his pocket and got to nearly the end of the corridor before stopping and unlocking a door. He pushed it open and threw the keys to the small table by the door, leaving Eren to close and turn the lock on the door as he took his jacket off and threw it on to the sofa that had been in his office. Once Eren had placed everything down he turned to look at him. "Do we need to have a conversation? Or can we just curl up and talk about this later?" His voice was exhausted, as if all the feelings of the last 2 weeks had finally caught up with him. Which was true, he supposed, especially now as he looked towards the teen in front of him so glad he could now just walk forwards and take hold of him and never let go. Or he hoped he could never let go.

"As far as I'm concerned, if we're okay, then there's nothing to say yet. Not until we feel like it." he replied, crossing the room after setting his bag down so that he could pull Levi closer to him and meeting absolutely no resistance. "And we have more or less forever, now. So I guess I really am eternally yours." He blushed slightly, grinning like an idiot and hiding his face in Levi's shoulder - but he couldn't help repeating the words from the letter.

He took a deep breath as he heard the words, his mind conjuring up the sound of Eren's voice of saying the words for the first time to him, as he was tied down and blindfolded. At least if he thought hard enough he could really see it as Eren saying the things to him, not the demon that had impersonated him so well. His arms came up around his waist, "I wouldn't want it any other way..." He sighed lightly, his eyes closing as he held Eren to him.

A few minutes passed with me stood there near his sofa, Levi soon pushing Eren away enough so he could look up at him. Levi pushed up on to the balls of his feet, pressing his lips against Eren's softly, his eyes fluttering closed as the contact. His hands went to Eren neck gently, fingers angled upward against his jaw, holding there gently. He felt him kiss back and he revelled in the feel as arms gripped his waist tighter. He pulled back a second later, a small smirk on his lips. "Fuck, I don't half love you brat." He waited as the words hit, as they sank in, and he was greeted by a look of total shock, and it made him roll his eyes before lips smashed against his own, pulling him completely up on tiptoes and forcing his arms to hold around Eren's neck. 

They definitely had an eternity to work things out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eren Song 1: Zedd - Clairty  
> Eren Song 2: Imagine Dragons - Demons
> 
> The end :)
> 
> I will be posting up a part 3 to this, with the after math, an epilogue as to speak.
> 
> It will be all fluff and hugs and happy times xD! It's what we needed after we finished the RP as it eas incredibly hard to write with the demon.
> 
> Thank you for anyone that stuck with this fic, as I know that a few people have commented and such and I appreciate all of you :) 
> 
> Thank you for getting through the angst of the demon, no beta reading, and my bad writing haha!
> 
> Firanna x


End file.
